Bella was in her room taking a nap, and I was sitting at the front of the living room in my chair, watching the waves of the ocean crash onto the shore. It was a beautiful day outside, and my mother was coming to visit, but the only thing I could think of was Lacey and the kiss we had shared the night before. Her skin was so soft, and her lips were so warm, and the feeling that ran through me from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet was something I had only felt one other time, and that was for my wife, Isabella.

Isabella and I had met when we were kids, and we had been in love forever. We got married, opened the surf instruction business together, and were just happy, plain happy. When Bella came around, we were ecstatic, and Isabella was determined to teach her to swim and eventually surf just like us. When Bella was three, she was sitting on the shore with my mother, watching Isabella surf. I had told her to be careful, that the undertow was incredibly strong because of the swells from the storm offshore. She was brave and didn’t want to listen, having tackled some of the biggest places in the world for surfing.

When she went underwater, I dropped my board and ran into the surf, diving and searching for her. I looked around, trying to see where she had come out, but the surf was so strong that day. My mother took Bella and ran inside, calling the authorities immediately. Everyone searched for her for hours, but her body didn’t wash ashore for three days. I stayed outside those entire three days watching the waves, hoping that I would see her. It was devastating, and I could barely hold my head up afterward. I immediately closed the surf shop and vowed to never open it again. I hadn’t been back in the ocean since that day, and I didn’t know if I would ever go back in. That heartbreak was what made it so astonishing to me that I was having those kinds of feelings for Lacey.

My mother knocking on the front door broke me from my thoughts, and I heard the patter of Bella’s feet running toward the door. My mother walked in smiling and scooped Bella up in her arms, kissing her and nuzzling her tightly. She looked over, noticing the dazed look on my face, recognizing it immediately.

“I thought you were Lacey,” Bella said. “But I am happy to see you, too.”

“Oh, well, thanks.” She laughed. “So, you like your tutor?”

“She is the best,” Bella said. “And she stayed last night for Taco Friday and to watch Frozen.”

“She did?”

“Yep,” Bella said confidently, making me chuckle. “It was magical.”

My mother laughed loudly, bending over and hugging her tightly again. Bella ran off toward her room to turn the lights off and undoubtedly grab something she had done during tutoring during the week. My mother watched her disappear around the corner before turning toward me.

“She stayed for dinner?”

“Yeah, Bella wanted her to,” I said, shrugging my shoulders and blushing.

“Sure, and how about you? Did you want her to stay?”

“I mean, sure, she’s nice,” I said nonchalantly.

“Right,” she said, winking. “Anything going on between the two of you?”

“What?” I asked, gasping. “No. You know me better than that.”

“I know you are human,” she said, walking with me into the kitchen. “I think maybe you are holding something back.”

“I’m not,” I said, opening the fridge and grabbing a water.

“No one would judge you if you were,” she said. “You are allowed to be happy, Caspian.”

“Thank you,” I said, taking a sip of the water. “But still, there is nothing going on between the two of us.”

“You know I’ve heard this song before,” she said.

“What song?”

“This one, the one you are singing right now, with the same exact blushed faced,” she pointed out. “Only that time, it was about Isabella, and you were a teenager.”

“I mean, she’s great,” I said, sitting down on the stool.

“Yes, go on,” she said, smiling.

“I really do like her, and so does Bella, more than anyone I’ve seen in years,” I said. “There is something about her that lights up the room when she walks into it. We had a really fun time last night, and it wasn’t weird or awkward. It felt comfortable.”

“It’s been two years,” she said.

“I know how long it’s been mother,” I said. “I didn’t know there was a time limit on missing the love of your life.”

“No one is saying you are not allowed to miss her,” she replied, putting her hands up in the air. “But you are allowed to live and love again.”

“I wish I had more juicy gossip for you, Mom.” I laughed. “But she stayed for dinner and a movie because of Bella, not because of me.”

“I want to meet her,” my mother said mischievously.

“Why?”

“Because you and Bella love her, and I want to love her, too.” She laughed. “You can’t keep her all to yourselves.”

“Drop in on Monday,” I replied. “She’ll be tutoring Bella.”

“No, I want to meet her in a social situation and not disrupt Bella’s tutoring,” she said, following me into the living room. “Obviously, there is something going on between the two of you, or you wouldn’t be trying to hide her from me.”

“I’m not hiding her from you,” I said, smiling as she lifted her eyebrows at me. “You know what? Fine. I will call her and ask her to come over tomorrow, and we can all go to the beach together. Would that make you happy?”

“Very much so,” my mother said, walking away toward Bella’s room. “And I know when something is up. I’m your mother.”

I shook my head and smiled, knowing there was no way that I could keep this from her for very long. My mother was my best friend, and she knew me better than anyone else. She knew I was lying, but I wasn’t ready to tell her that I bombarded my daughter’s tutor in the driveway and thought about doing her on the hood of her car. Best friends or not, that was a bit too much information for a mother and a son. I grabbed my phone off the counter and scrolled to Lacey’s number, taking in a nervous breath before pressing send.

“Hey,” she answered after the first ring. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Everyone is good. How are you?”

“Good, just sitting here drinking a cup of hot tea and reading a book on the deck,” she replied.

“Do you have any plans for tomorrow?”

“Let me check with my secretary.” she laughed. “I have lunch with the President, but he can wait. What’s up?”

“You are quite the popular girl.” I laughed. “No, me, Bella, and my mom are going to spend the day on the beach tomorrow, cook out, relax, enjoy the already warm temperatures. I wanted to know if you would like to come over?”

“That’s so sweet,” she said. “Of course, I’ll be there. Do you want me to bring anything?”

“No, I got it, and my mom will probably make like potato salad or something.” I chuckled. “Just show up with yourself.”

“I’ll try to remember to bring myself with me.” She laughed.

“And about last night,” I said.

“You don’t have to,” she interrupted.

“I don’t have to what? Tell you how much fun I had? Alright, if you don’t want to hear it.” I chuckled.

“No.” She laughed. “I thought you were going to say something else. I had so much fun as well. I hope that we can do it again soon. I mean dinner and Frozen. And the other thing, I mean, if you want. Oh lord.”

“Relax,” I said, laughing. “I’ll see you at one tomorrow, okay?”

“Yep, and I’ll leave the fumbling idiot behind,” she replied.

“Bye,” I said with a laugh.

I turned off the phone and held it against my chest, looking out over the ocean. I could hear my mom and Bella in the other room talking about everything she learned this week during tutoring. I knew that as of that moment, Lacey was really good for us both, and it made me excited to have her come over and spend time with all of us the next day. At the same time, I was incredibly nervous about it all. I hadn’t spent time intimately with a woman since my wife, and having her over with my mother and daughter on a Sunday was incredibly intimate in my opinion. I wanted to impress her, show her how amazing we were, but the truth was, sometimes we were blue and down. Lacey didn’t know what happened to my wife, and it wasn’t something that I wanted to share with her just yet. I didn’t want her to feel sorry for us or feel like she had to save us or something. It was an incredibly awkward thing to talk to about. For right then, I wanted to keep it a secret.

“So, is she coming tomorrow?”

“Yes,” I said after clearing my throat and turning around to face my mother. “I need you to do me a favor. though.”

“Alright, what is it?”

“I want you to not talk about what happened to Isabella,” I said.

“Do you think keeping a secret like that at the beginning of a possible relationship is the best idea?”

“I won’t keep it from her forever, just now, when she is getting to know us,” I said. “It’s hard to talk about, and I don’t know what will happen between us. I just want it to be normal for a little while before we drag Isabella’s ghost into everything.”

“I will keep my mouth shut,” she said. “But know it’s not something you should be ashamed of.”

“God, Mom, I’m not ashamed,” I said. “I just don’t want to see her look at me the same way everyone in town does, like the old lonely widower.”

“I understand,” she said. “Alright, what are we doing for lunch?”

“I’m really not that hungry,” I said. “But Bella needs to eat.”

“Why don’t I give you a little time to yourself, and Bella and I will go over to Aggie’s for some egg salad sandwiches and soda,” she said, looking down as Bella bounced from the room.

“Yes,” Bella hollered, jumping into her arms.

“Alright.” I laughed. “You two have fun.”

I smiled and waved as my mother winked at me and carried Bella on her hip out of the door. I turned and looked back at the rolling ocean, wondering what the next day would bring. I had no idea when I put an ad in the paper for a tutor that I would get way more than I bargained for. I wasn’t sure if this was anything even close to what I was ready for, but I did know that from the first day I met Lacey, I couldn’t get her off my mind. I knew that every moment I spent away from her, I wanted her to be close to me, and I knew that I loved how she looked relaxed on my couch with my daughter asleep in her lap. I knew one day I would start dating again, but I hadn’t put any thought into how it would be when I met someone I had feelings this intense for. In fact, I wasn’t sure that it would ever actually happen again. But there I was, watching the waves rolling by, thinking about a girl I only just met.