Making my way back to the apartment, my smile widens knowing who’s there waiting for me. Who knew having a woman at home would be so fulfilling. Then again, Savannah just isn’t some woman. She’s special, and I’ll admit, I didn’t expect her to be my perfect match. It seems crazy, trust me I know, but I have a good feeling about us.
Us. Together.
Cue hammering heart effect.
Yeah, I’m probably acting like a chick with all these feelings, but fuck if I care. Which is why I’m practically speeding to get back home. These few moments we’ve had, haven’t been enough and I have this desperate need to make more memories with her. I’ve only got one shot to make her need me as much as I need her. So far, I’m slowly working my way to making it happen, but I also get the sense she’s holding back. Why I have no idea, but I’ll find out.
Pulling into the apartment’s parking lot, I quickly find my designated spot. Grabbing the bags of food, I jump out of my truck and all but run upstairs to my apartment. Swinging the door open, I yell, “Honey, I’m home.” But it’s the loud moans of a woman getting drilled hard that stop me short. It takes me a second to realize what’s going on here. Savannah is sitting on the couch with her hands covering her face as the porno plays very loudly on the TV. “Uh, small fry?” It’s clear she’s embarrassed with her bright red cheeks. “In the mood for some porn?”
Her hands slowly lower and with wide eyes, she explains what’s going on. “You’re TV is possessed! All I wanted was to watch an episode of Family Guy, and it kept changing it back to this porno.” Cue another loud moan and slapping of skin. “Then your remote stopped working and just make it stop.”
Calmly setting the food on the coffee table, I hold back a laugh as I reach for the remote. Without saying a word, I point it at the TV and turn it off. Placing the remote back on the coffee table, I say, “If you wanted to get some pointers for the bedroom, all you had to do was ask.”
Her eyes snap to me, and that’s when I lose it. “You’ve got to fucking kidding me. I don’t get it. I tried to turn it off multiple times.”
Laughing harder at her perplexed expression, I walk over to her. “It’s alright, small fry.” Grabbing her hands, I pull her up. “The remote hardly works anymore unless you press the buttons hard. I probably should’ve told you that.”
“You think? That might have saved me from utter mortification.”
Taking both of her hands, I gaze into her stunning blue-green eyes. “You haven’t lived until you get caught watchin’ porn.”
She rolls her eyes but makes no move to move her hands out of mine. “Haha. Very funny. I didn’t exactly want to watch porn but whatever.”
“It’s okay, small fry. I won’t tell anyone. It can be our little secret.” At her serious gaze, I let out a chuckle. “How about some food to sooth your embarrassment?”
She shrugs as she says, “I am starving. Plus food cures everything right?”
“That it does.” Letting one of her hands go, I grab the food and lead her into the kitchen. We quickly fix our plates as I grab us some beers. Shutting the fridge, I set hers on the counter by her. “I have to say, I’m surprised you drink beer.”
Smiling, she turns to me as she asks, “What? Didn’t see me as the beer drinking type?” Opening our beers, she adds, “Let me guess. You thought I would drink fruity drinks or wine?”
“I’m just sayin’. Most chicks don’t like beer.”
“I hate to break it to you, but I’m not like most chicks.”
That statement couldn’t be farther from the truth. I need to stop underestimating her. “I’m beginnin’ to see that, small fry.” Watching her smile once more, I hope she continues to surprise me. That’s what I find most attractive about her. She’s different, but not in a bad way. Most women these days are all about themselves, but not Savannah. In the time I’ve come to know her, although it hasn’t been long, she’s unlike any woman I’ve known.
Which means, I’m going to fall hard and fast for her.
“So you never told me why you quit your job,” I ask Savannah as we sit on the couch. With our bellies full and beers in hand, I thought it would be a good idea to chill and get to know the ever mysterious Savannah Owens.
She takes a drink of her beer, and I lick my lips wishing I could taste hers. I’m trying to dial back a bit on the affection I’ve been showing, but it hasn’t been easy. Not wanting to scare her away, I sat on the far end of the couch showing I can give her space even though I’m still here. “Oh … that. Well let’s see. The hours sucked, I didn’t really make that much, and then there’s the fact my bosses son whipped out his dick at me.”
Choking on my beer, I place my beer on the coffee table as I get a hold of myself. “He did what now?” I’m not sure I really want to hear this.
“Mike is a scumbag. He thinks every woman wants him, but really they don’t. And I’ll just say this, assuming a chick will want to suck a dick just because it’s shown is so not the way to go about it.”
Clenching my jaw, I try to remain calm. It’s harder than I thought it would be and for the first time ever, I feel a surge of jealousy. I don’t like that some asswipe showed my woman his dick. And yeah, I totally just fucking claimed her in my head. “He showed you his dick and wanted you to give him a blow job?”
“Ding, ding. You guessed it.”
Pulling out my phone, I glance to Savannah as I demand, “I need his address, full name, and what he drives.”
Savannah sits up tall and tries to grab my phone. “Caden, no. It’s not that big of a deal.” Giving her a hard look, she adds, “He got what he deserved.”
“I hope you mean a good kick in the nuts.”
“Again you guessed it. Trust me, he’s probably still feeling it.”
Even if he got what he deserved, I’m still pissed off he showed his junk to her. Which is why I send a quick message to Cason letting him know Mike is now on our shit list. Poor Mike better watch his back. Taking a deep and soothing breath, I put away my phone. “Remind me to never piss you off or show my junk when you don’t want to see it.”
She snickers loudly, but I don’t miss the flash of desire in her eyes. “Just call me the ball buster.”
Chuckling with her, I take another drink of my beer. “It does fit you very nicely.”
Watching her as she takes another drink, I still can’t believe I convinced her to stay with me, and as she pulls her legs up getting more comfortable, I realize she fits perfectly here. This is where she belongs. My chest tightens as I imagine her being here every single day for the rest of our lives. “Why are you staring at me like that?”
“Like what?” I feign innocence.
“Like … that,” she says as she moves her hand up and down.
“I have no idea what you mean, small fry.” She shakes her head, but there’s still a smile on her gorgeous face. “Tell me about your family,” I say to try and lighten the mood again.
For the next few hours, all we do is talk about our family. She tells me her mother’s name is Miranda, and her dad is Phillip. I listen intently as she tells me how they met, what they do, and how much they love living in Florida. She seems to have the perfect family, but I don’t miss the faraway look in her eyes when she recalls some of the stories from her childhood. I decide not to ask her about it since she’s opening up, and I don’t want her to stop. However I do scoot closer beside her, when she talks about her parents not being able to have children of their own. “That’s when I came into the picture. They adopted me when I was six months old, and they’re the best parents. It’s not fair they couldn’t give a life to a child of their own, but they never treated me like I was adopted.” She uses a finger to rub the top of her now empty beer bottle, and I take her free hand in mine. Using my thumb, I trace circles on the back of her hand as she continues to talk. “I guess that’s what hit me the hardest when they told me I was adopted. I thought I was theirs you know? I don’t know. It’s just …” She takes a deep breath as she glances up at me. “I felt like since I wasn’t biologically theirs that meant I didn’t really belong there. It sounds stupid, but at sixteen everything is already over exaggerated.”
“It’s not stupid, Savannah. Never discount how you feel, but I will say just from listenin’ to you talk about them, it sounds like they love you very much and you them.”
“Of course I love them. They’re my parents, but things changed after they told me. Our relationship changed and I hate it. Some days I wish I could go back and tell them to never tell me, but then again I’ve always felt like something was missing. Is that crazy? To know something is not there, but having no clue what it is?”
“No, it’s not crazy.” It’s a simple answer, but it’s the truth. I know exactly what she’s talking about because I didn’t realize what was missing from my life until she came into the picture. Now that I know what it is and what she means to me, I can’t just give up on it. Maybe that’s why I understand her need to find her birth mother. If finding this woman can help my small fry feel whole again, I’ll be there every step of the way with her. “I was thinkin’,” I start, and her eyebrows raise. “What if I can help with findin’ your birth mother?”
“You would do that?”
“I’d do anythin’ for you, Savannah.” Our gaze holds, and all I see is her blue eyes searching for something in mine. I’m not sure what she’s looking for, but I hope she knows that I would do anything and everything to keep her.
“Okay,” is all she says with a heavy breath, and I hope whatever she was looking for, she found it.
“I can ask my brother, Carter, for help too. He’s a lawyer so he can check into getting’ your records from the adoption agency your parents used.”
My chest swells with pride when she places her legs in my lap. It’s the most natural thing she could’ve done, and she has no idea how much I want to kiss her right now. Laying my free hand on her legs, she asks, “Exactly how many brothers do you have?”
“Well there’s Carter, he’s the oldest, and then it’s me, Cason, Clark, and Caleb.”
“How in the world did your mom keep up with five boys?”
“Honestly,” I start and let out a laugh. “I really don’t know. But Mama sure does know how to use a wooden spoon.”
“Now this you have to elaborate more on.” Propping my feet on the coffee table, I tell her all about my crazy family. Talking about how we all are together, she listens only letting out a laugh or showing me that pretty smile I love so much, every time I recall a funny story. “You’re family sounds amazing.”
“We’re a bunch of crazies, but it all works out for us.”
“Maybe one day I can meet them?”
Jerking my head in her direction, I smirk seeing the shock in her eyes. “I’d love for you to meet them.” That’s a very distinctive plan for the future she just let out, and I hope she doesn’t regret it slipping out. Because I want her to meet my family. I already know they’ll love her, and I know Mama will hound me until I bring her over.
“Yeah well, you make them sound like a super family, so I need to see it for myself.” Holding her gaze, I know what she’s trying to do. She’s trying to downplay what she said as if she really didn’t mean for it to come out.
Reaching over, I cup her face and run my thumb across her cheek. “It’s alright to want to meet my family, Savannah.” Using my thumb, I run it along her bottom lip feeling the urge to kiss her until she begs me to stop. Leaning in, she holds still as I hover inches away from those delicious and soft lips of hers. “It’s alright to talk about a future with me,” I whisper before gently placing my lips over hers. Trying to take it slow, I tenderly kiss her, but I also want her to know how much I want her in my life. She doesn’t fight me and only gives in, kissing me back. My heart drums rapidly in my chest as I deepen the kiss, and I relish in the feel of her lips on mine. When her hands find my hair, I pull her closer so I can feel her more. This doesn’t seem real. This woman, this amazing and beautiful woman, is everything I want. She’s like a breath of air that I didn’t realize I needed, and when my tongue intertwines with hers, all the desire I have for her comes to the surface. It’s her taste, the way she caresses me with her tongue, and her fingers pulling me closer that almost send me over the edge. I want her with a force I can’t explain. It’s not just about the sex with her, no far from it. It’s wanting to show her how she makes me feel, and to show her nothing but pleasure.
But I know the moment I lose her.
It happens so suddenly that I get a little light headed.
“Wait, Caden,” she says with a firm voice as she pushes me away. Trying to catch my breath, I watch the emotions run wild across her face. Desire, a bit of lust, but what I catch most is her fear. She’s scared, but I don’t understand why she’s afraid. Not making a move to stop her as she gets off the couch, I wait patiently for her to explain what the hell just happened. “I think we need to talk about what this is,” she says as she waves a hand back and forth between us. “I don’t want a relationship. I don’t do them, and I just want that to be clear.”
Placing my feet on the floor, I lean down setting my elbows on my knees. “So what is this then?”
She frowns as she says, “I … I don’t know. But I don’t want any labels on whatever this is.”
Standing, I move in front of her. “So you admit it then? You’re admittin’ there’s somethin’ here, and you’re scared to find out what it is?”
“No,” she says way too quickly for my liking. There’s no fucking way she doesn’t feel what I am. “I’m just saying no labels, no relationship, and whatever happens, happens.”
Fuck buddies comes to mind, but I don’t say it out loud. “I don’t just randomly make out with my friends, Savannah.” God just saying the word friends puts a bitter taste in my mouth. I don’t want to be just her fucking friend. I want her, all of her, and nothing less. Seeing she’s not going to give in, I decide I just have to continue to be patient. She’ll eventually come around. I hope. “I get what you’re puttin’ down, small fry. No labels and no serious relationship. We’ll just go with the flow.”
All the fear I saw earlier slowly evaporates, and I wish she would just tell me why she’s so afraid to just let this happen with us. “Thank you.” Nodding, maybe this is what she needs right now. It’s hard not to push her for more when she clearly wants more from me, but as I gaze into those blue and green eyes, I have to do what she needs. I can’t force this, whatever this is, on her. “I’m … uh … I’m going to crash out,” she stammers, and I can only watch her as she walks away. Rubbing my chin, I wonder what it’ll take to make her realize what we have could be even more amazing if she’d let down those damn walls. Right before she walks into my room, to get in my bed without me, she looks back. “Goodnight, Caden.”
“Night, small fry.” The sound of her shutting the door echoes through the apartment, and I can’t help but think that it also means she just shut me out.
Literally and figuratively.