It’s been two days since meeting Savannah Owens, and I can’t seem to get her out of my mind. No matter what I do, she’s always there. There’s just something about her that seems familiar, but I can’t put my finger on what it is. If I’m honest with myself, I don’t want to admit what I already know. Not to mention, her blue-green eyes seem to call to my very soul. It was weird as fuck, but I brushed it off not thinking much of it. I can’t deny she’s a mystery. She was evasive and seemed nervous when I approached her. It also put a damper on my ego knowing my charm didn’t really seem to faze her. Which I find very attractive. Not tootin’ my own horn, but I’m used to the women around here flocking to me. Kind of reminds me of the bug zapper Mama has on her back porch. They fly and attach themselves to me knowing I’ll zap them. Okay, maybe that’s a bad analogy, but it’s the only thing I got.
“If you keep frowning like that, your face is going to get stuck that way.” I look up across the table and smile at Mama. She knows best, so she could be right.
Just like every morning during the weekday, my brothers and I come over to have breakfast with our parents. It’s been this way since we all grew up and moved out, but I don’t mind coming here like we all do. It’s nice to spend time with my mom and dad. It’s also not bad to hassle my brothers. Carter is the oldest and followed in Dad’s footsteps with becoming a lawyer. Then it’s Cason and me, but I’m the older one. Cason is my identical twin, and he owns his own gym while I work at the police station. Clark is next and is the military because he wants to be a knockoff of Superman. Oh, and I can’t forget oops baby. Caleb is the youngest and was literally an oops baby, but he’s smarter than anyone I know, and as much as I like to pick on him, I’m ready for him to return home from college. Speaking of my brothers, I have no idea where any of them are. “Where is everyone?” It’s not like Carter, Shelby, his long-lost sweetheart, Cason, and Clark not to be here. Clark just got back from a deployment, but he’s always around since returning home in March. Caleb, the youngest, actually has a good reason for not being here since he’s finishing up his last few weeks at MIT. Mama’s face falls, and it makes my stomach churn knowing it upsets her that either my brothers forgot, or they’re just being assholes. “How about I call them?”
“It’s fine, sweetheart. I’m sure they’re just busy.”
Watching Dad place a hand on Mama’s, I shake my head and stand up. “I’ll get them here. It’s our tradition.” Winking at Mama, I bite my tongue instead of saying what I really want. If I do, Mama will get that stupid wooden spoon out and beat my ass with it. She’s done it so many times over the years for my potty mouth, as she likes to call it sometimes. Walking outside, I pull out my phone and decide to start with my twin, Cason.
As the line begins to ring, I see Clark pull up in the driveway. He quickly jumps out of his truck and runs toward the house. I glare at him as he walks past me and says, “Don’t start. I’m here, alright.”
Shaking my head when I smell the alcohol on his breath, I wonder if he’s drinking all hours of the day. Clenching my jaw, I hold back my lecture about him drinking and driving. Deciding to wait and pick my battle with him another time, I stay silent. Something is up with him, and it’s beginning to piss me off how he’s shutting himself off from me, and the entire family. Hearing the door slam behind me, Cason finally decides to answer. “I’m coming.”
“Well hello to you too, Mr. Cranky Pants.”
Laughing as I hear him swear under his breath, Carter and Shelby arrive. “I swear, Caden. For once can you not act like an ass?”
“That really hurts when you call me that.”
“I’m beginning to think you like it. I’ll be there soon.” Letting out an annoying grunt, I stare at my phone realizing he hung up on me. My own twin hung up on me. What. A. Douche.
“It’s about time y’all got here,” I yell at Carter and Shelby as they get out of Carter’s truck. Neither one of them seem to be in a hurry, so I yell out again. “Food is gettin’ cold.”
“Caden, leave them alone and get back in the house.” Hearing Mama’s stern tone, I huff wondering why I’m always the one getting in trouble. Pocketing my phone, I do as I’m told like I’m a teenager again.
Walking back to the kitchen table, I take my spot next to where Cason will sit, and across from Clark. Dad is asking Clark what he’s going to do about his decision to retire from the military, but Clark doesn’t seem to want to talk about it. Typical Clark. I love all my brothers, but for some reason Clark has shut down on all of us. It worries me that I don’t know what to do or how to help him. Just as I’m about to comment on something Clark says to Dad, I turn when I hear Mama, Carter, and Shelby walk to the table. Carter tells Mama a lame excuse as to why they were late, but I’m not sure I believe the whole flat tire story. Shelby sits by Mama, and of course Carter takes his usual spot by Shelby. I glance away from the two love birds as they show off some PDA, and my chest constricts knowing I want that. Not with Shelby, that’s just … ew, but I want the love they have. Carter and Shelby have the epic type of love everyone can see and craves to have. Even me. We all grew up around each other, and I knew once Shelby came into our lives that they would end up together. I’ve never seen Shelby as anything more than a sister, and we all knew her and Carter would never be apart. Granted it happened much later in life due to Shelby’s conniving mother, but it all worked out in the end. There was a time I worried a lot about Carter. It was after Shelby ran off to South Carolina once, Carter left for college. It was dark times back then, but once Shelby returned home, I knew they would reconnect. Now I’m just waiting for Carter to pop the question. I know it’s going to happen soon, and I couldn’t be happier for my oldest brother.
I just want what he and Shelby have.
Epic love.
I’m not jealous by any means, but there comes a time in every man’s life that he craves something more, and I’m at that point. It happened back in March at Clark’s welcome home party. It seems like a lifetime ago, but I remember every detail, every word, and especially how Carter watched Shelby so intently. Seeing how enthralled Carter was and how happy he seemed, something inside of me sort of snapped. It was as if all the puzzle pieces finally fit together, and I just knew what I’d been missing out on. Then meeting Sassy Savannah Owens hasn’t helped.
Feeling my twin walking up behind me, I push all these thoughts out of my mind. I always know when Cason is nearby, and sometimes it’s like we can read each other’s minds. It’s strange at times, but I shared a womb with him, so I don’t question it. Cason takes his spot by me as he says to everyone, “Sorry I’m late. Flat tire.”
“Flat tire, huh? You mean like Carter and Shelby with their flat tire?” I say as I wiggle my eyebrows. Cason shakes his head as I turn and laugh as Shelby’s face turns bright red. Yeah, flat tire my ass. I knew Carter was telling a big fat lie with that one.
“Caden, what have I told you about that kind of talk at the table?”
“I’m just kiddin’, Mama. Geez can no one take a joke around here?”
“Just keep that mouth of yours shut, Caden,” Carter scolds.
“I’m definitely feeling all the love this mornin’,” I pipe back sarcastically. Mama gives me a look, and I know she’s threatening me silently about her whooping spoon, while Carter goes back to fixing his plate. Dad and Clark say nothing because this is normal for us. Shelby leans over to Carter as she whispers something, and I clench my teeth feeling that same damn pang in my chest. Sensing Cason again, I glance up to his bored stare. “What? Mr. Cranky Pants have something to say?” I can’t help but rile him up. He’s always so tense, and I know exactly how to push his buttons.
His eyes narrow and fuck. That’s not a good sign. He’s trying to read me, and I know he’ll know I’m hiding something. That and I’ve confided in him about my feelings. Ugh. Men shouldn’t say that word. “Still hung up on that girl you pulled over two days ago?” Damn my twin and our stupid bond.
I don’t get a chance to say a word before Mama says, “What girl?”
Then Shelby adds, “When can we meet her?”
Huffing out a breath, I grab a biscuit and toss it at Cason. “Don’t throw food at your brother,” Dad says sternly.
Cason takes the biscuit and takes a bite before demanding, “Tell them, Caden. I’m sure they would love to know all about her.”
“Well now I have to meet her,” Shelby says excitedly.
Clenching my jaw and becoming annoyed with Cason, I wish he would’ve kept his mouth shut because this is why I haven’t said anything. I love my family dearly but damn. Is it so bad I don’t want to be picked apart? “It’s nothin’. Just some chick I met two days ago.” Carter starts to say something, but I beat him to it. “And no. I didn’t sleep with her.”
“Caden,” Mama starts.
“I know. I know. No trash talk at the table.”
“Seriously, Caden. Who is she?” Carter asks, and as I glance up, it’s as if he and I share a twin bond. It feels eerie that I can see what he’s thinking just by the look in his eyes.
“She’s just a girl,” I state hoping they’ll drop it.
“She’s not just any girl,” Cason says to Carter, and I glare at my twin. I know exactly what he wanted to finish that sentence with. She’s the girl. I know it, but it’s still something I’m working through, and I don’t need the third degree about it. Plus who knows if I’ll ever see her again. Wait. That’s a lie. I will see her again once I get my head in the game.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” Carter says without thinking, and I see the mistake he made written all over his face.
“Carter James Harlow.” I snort as Mama finally turns her wrath to the golden child. “I will not tolerate that language at the table.”
“You boys are going to give your mother a heart attack.” Dad is half right. Mama either worries too much about us, or she’s always getting on to us.
Carter mumbles his apology, and all is quickly forgiven. Thankfully nothing else is spoken about my current predicament, but Clark and Cason keep eye-balling me. Choosing to ignore them, we all finish eating and stay at a neutral conversation. Dad and Carter talk about going fishing this weekend as Shelby and Mama plan a shopping trip. Something is said about curtains, and I lose interest. There’s not one thing interesting about shopping for curtains. Everyone talks amongst themselves except Cason and I. The pang in my chest is back as I glance to the right, staring at the empty chair beside me. Normally it would be Caleb’s spot, but a part of me wishes someone else was here sitting beside me. That someone with shoulder length dark brown hair with natural caramel highlights that shine when the sun hits it just right. That someone with bright blue eyes with hints of green swirling around her pupils. The instant connection I felt for her seems unrealistic, but as the tightness in my chest grows, I know it means something. She wasn’t just another girl I was trying to charm. No, Savannah is different. It’s a feeling, or it’s instinct I guess you can call it. It was the way she checked me out because I noticed, and the way her eyes roamed over me like she knew me as well. I won’t lie and say my eyes didn’t devour her behind my sunglasses because I did. A part of me wishes I had asked her to get out of her vehicle just so I could steal more glimpses of her curvy figure. In the past, most of the women I’d been with have been in tip top shape without an ounce of fat on them, but Savannah has curves that a man craves. She’s not big by any means, but I wouldn’t say she was skinny. Bootylicious, voluptuous, and all woman describes her better. Either way, I loved what I was looking at.
Feeling a bump against my shoulder, I turn to see my twin staring at me. He leans in close so no one else can hear, but I have a feeling I know what he’s about to say. “Day dreaming about the girl?” Raising an eyebrow, I kind of want to punch him in his face when he gives me a smirk. “You know, it’s funny to see you so lovesick already.”
“Are you jealous?” With his frown, I add, “I know how territorial you can be when I’m not devotin’ all my attention to you.”
Shaking his head, he sits right in his chair. “Don’t forget I know you.”
He’s right, and I know it, but I can’t help but push all those buttons of his. “Awe don’t get all sentimental on me now.”
“Keep pushin’ me,” he says with a brooding look.
“Ooh, I’m shakin’ in my boots.”
“You’re not even wearin’ boots.”
Shrugging a shoulder, I snap back with, “Semantics.”
Cason starts to respond back with something I’m sure I can top when Mama interrupts. “Boys, stop arguin’.”
“He started it,” Cason and I quickly say at the same time.
“One would think y’all were children instead of grown men,” Clark states.
Shelby and Carter snicker as I pout. “You wound me.”
“I’m sure you’ll be fine in about five seconds.”
“You’re right,” I say to Clark as I point my fork at him. “I’m all better and back to my normal awesome self.” Clark uses his middle finger to scratch his nose to flip me the bird without Mama noticing.
“As much as I love listenin’ to you boys bicker, I think y’all should start clearin’ the table,” Dad tells us and Clark shoots me a dirty look before we do as Dad asks. It’s another routine we have every time we come over to our parents for breakfast or dinner. Pretty much anytime there’s food, my brothers and I do the cleaning. Sometimes Dad will help, and we all feel it’s fair for us to clean up after Mama spends all the time cooking. I mean it can’t be an easy task to cook for five grown men. Not to mention, it’ll be six when Caleb returns home for good.
Shelby and Mama make their way into the living room as Clark, Cason, and Carter all start grabbing the empty plates. Dad and I take the leftover food into the kitchen and begin to put them away in Tupperware bowls. It’s a mindless task, and it leaves me wide open to Dad’s question. “Son, what are you goin’ to do about your woman problem?”
“I don’t know, Pops. What is this problem you speak of?”
The look he’s giving me tells me all I need to know. I’m full of shit, and he knows it. “Are you goin’ to find her?”
Glancing back into the dining room, I make sure my brothers can’t hear me. The last thing I want is for the entire family to bust my balls about a girl again. “It’s a small town. Figured I’d leave it up to fate.” And I have thought about using my job as a way to find out more about Savannah, but it really didn’t sit well with me. I’ve never been the one to bend the law to my will, and I don’t want to start now. Although, it would make things much easier.
“I’m sure you’ll find a way to see her again.”
Dad’s words make me halt all movement, and I frown as I look at him. “Why is everyone suddenly concerned with my love life?”
“Because,” Mama says, and I scream making Dad’s eyes widen. “What is wrong with you?” She asks.
“Damn, Mama. You scared me half to death.” Her eyes narrow at me but before she can scold me I add, “Where did you get those ninja moves from? Cough or somethin’ next time.”
Dad chuckles, and Mama shakes her head although she’s smiling. Carter, Clark, Shelby, and Cason walk into the kitchen with a worried expression. Well except Cason. He just looks bored. “Why are you screamin’ like a little girl, Caden?” Shelby asks.
Pointing a finger at Mama, I explain. “Did you know Mama has ninja moves? She scared me. I might have to check my britches now.”
Carter, Clark, Shelby, and Dad laugh, but Cason just glares at me as Mama says, “Now you’re just exaggeratin’.”
“I am not,” I screech. “You can’t sneak up on me like that. Dad and I were mindin’ our own business, and you come in here creepin’.”
Mama walks up to me and places her hand on my cheek. With a sweet voice I’ve heard all my life, she softly says, “I love you dearly, but you’re such a drama queen.”
“Tell me how you really feel,” I pipe back with a laugh.
“I’m only tellin’ you the truth, sweetie. Now take your leftovers and get out of my kitchen. You have a girl to find.”
Picking up my bowl of food, I raise it up as I say, “Yes, ma’am.” Cason does the same only he kisses Mama on the cheek and says goodbye to Dad before we walk out of the house, and I wonder if maybe if my parents are right. Maybe I don’t need to wait for fate to do her job. Maybe I should start controlling my own fate.
Bang.
Bang.
Bang.
Cracking one eye open, I wonder why it sounds like someone is trying to break down my bedroom door.
Bang.
Bang.
What the fuck? Blinking the sleep away, I toss the covers off me and slowly get out of bed. Shuffling carefully in my dark room, I hold my arms out in front of me. I’m not sure what time it is because of my blackout curtains, but this constant banging on the door is sort of freaking me out.
Bang.
Bang.
“Caden!” Jumping at the loud voice, I immediately know who it is. Cason’s consistent banging and the tone of his voice lets me know he’s in cranky mode. “What are you doin’ in there?”
“Hold the fuck on,” I grumble loudly. Can’t a guy get some sleep around here? Cason and I have lived in the same apartment downtown since we both graduated high school and went out in the big ol’ world. There are days I don’t mind living with my twin, but then days or nights like this that I hate it. I’m certain it’s still daytime, possibly in the afternoon, because I have to work the night shift, and I hope I didn’t oversleep. Jerking the door open, Cason almost hits me in the face since he was about to bang on my fucking door some more. “What do you want, Cas? What if I was doin’ somethin’ private?”
Lowering his hand, he glares at me then his eyes widen. “Could you please put on some fuckin’ clothes? I don’t want to see your junk.”
Glancing down, I realize I’m still in the nude. “Huh. Well maybe if you weren’t two seconds from bustin’ through my room like the Hulk, I could’ve gotten dressed. You know I sleep in the nude.” Flipping on the light, I turn to get some shorts from the dresser on the far side of the room. “Plus it’s not like you don’t see the same shit every day. Hello,” I say as I turn and wave a hand back and forth. “Identical twins remember?”
“You’ll never let me forget we shared a womb.” As I’m sliding on my shorts, he adds, “And just because we have the same body, it doesn’t mean I want to see yours. It’s weird.”
“You make it weird.” With his deadpan look, I shut the dresser with my hip. “What can I do for you, your highness?”
“I can’t find my laptop.”
“And you thought it was hidin’ in here?”
“Cut the shit, Caden. I need it for work. Now hand it over.”
Shaking my head, I brush past him and make my way to the small kitchen. The apartment Cason and I share isn’t much. It has two bedrooms, one bathroom, a small living room, and kitchen. But it suits us perfectly. “It really disturbs me when you blame me for takin’ your things when you know I’ve never done that.”
“Oh, really?”
Putting a K-cup in the Keurig, I press start then turn around. “Yeah, really. You must have misplaced it because I’ve never taken anythin’ of yours.”
Cason leans against the kitchen counter as he says, “You stole my G.I. Joe action figure when I was six.”
“Blasphemy! I did no such thing.” Okay there was that one time when we were kids, Cason had one thing, just one thing back then that Mama and Dad didn’t get me, and yeah I took the stupid doll.
“You did so. I also remember you put it on the grill and melted it.”
Crossing my arms and leaning against the counter, I add, “I also remember you cryin’ when you found it.”
“I never cry.”
Grinning widely, I know he’s full of shit. “You cried for two days about that stupid doll.”
Rolling his eyes, Cason huffs out a long breath. “So you’re admittin’ you took my G.I. Joe action figure, not a doll, and now you took my laptop.” The way he says action makes me chuckle. He’s putting way too much emphasis on it, but it’s cute he’s trying to make it seem like he didn’t love playing with dolls. “I need it, Caden. Just hand it over so I can just go back to work.”
Grabbing my coffee, I power off the Keurig then face him again. “I seriously didn’t take your laptop.” We stare at each other, and I know he’s trying to read me for any lies. It’s our twin bond, and I’m kind of annoyed he wouldn’t just believe me. Cason seems to finally believe what I’m saying, and he readjusts his cap then rubs a hand down his face. He seems stressed, and I can sense the uneasiness within him. “I know what you need.”
“And I know you’ll tell me, even though I don’t care to know.”
“You’re right. I will tell you because I’m your brother, and I know what’s best for you.” Cason grunts out his disagreement, but I continue anyway. “You need to get laid. How long has it been now?”
“I’m doing just fine, and my sex life isn’t any of your business.”
“I disagree. You’ve been on edge and crankier than normal. A night with a fine woman would do you wonders.” Setting my coffee mug down, I push off the counter. “I’ve got someone that would be perfect for you. I’ll text her and ask her to come over.”
Cason pushes himself off the counter and stops me from going back to my room to grab my phone. “I do not want your nasty sloppy seconds.”
“I’ve never been with a nasty lady, Cas,” I say back in a serious tone.
“You know what I mean. I won’t stick my dick in anythin’ you’ve been in.”
Looking away, I say, “Well, when you put it that way it does sound gross.” It was a good idea even if Cason isn’t on board. He’s never been the one to openly chase after a woman like me, but it’s been far too long since he’s had a woman’s touch. I’m not sure if it’s by choice or if he’s just not into women. With him, you can never tell. Plus even if I were to hook him up with a lady friend of mine, it’s not like they would know the difference between us. All Cason would have to do is not talk, and they would think he was me.
“How long has it been for you? Our apartment has been oddly quiet as of late.”
Holding up my hands, I try to distract him. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. We’re not talkin’ about me. We’re talkin’ about your women problems.”
Cason crosses his arms, and I know I can’t dodge his question. “How long?”
Grinning at him, I point a finger at him as I say, “You. You’re persistent aren’t ya?” He doesn’t respond, but the look in his eyes lets me know he’s not going to drop it. Letting out a deep sigh, I turn to grab my cooling coffee off the counter. “Three months, three days, and some odd minutes and seconds but whose countin’?” I have to admit, I’m a bit surprised Cason seems so shocked by my admission, but it’s the truth. I’ve been given the nickname of a manwhore, but I’m not really. Okay, I like women. I love their soft skin, their sweet lips, and their cries of ecstasy when I make them come. There are plenty of things I love about the women I’ve been with, but not a single one of them was fulfilling. There was always something missing, and it was just about sex. I’m not man enough to admit since the end of February, I’ve wanted more than just a roll in the hay with another woman. That and the fact the every woman I’ve ever been with can’t tell the difference between Cason and me. One would think the differences in us would be the first thing they would notice, but I’ve learned the women I’ve been with are just as shallow as I’ve been in the past. I do not take pride in knowing this.
Taking a drink of my coffee, Cason takes his seat at the small dining room table. “No wonder our couch is still intact and the apartment hasn’t burnt down.”
Swallowing my coffee down quickly, I claim, “Oh my god. That was one time, Cas.”
“One time too many. You nearly burnt the entire livin’ room.”
“You’re stretchin’ the truth a bit much don’t you think?”
Cason shakes his head, but I see the smirk he’s trying to hide. “The couch was toast. The rug had to be thrown away. Hell even the coffee table had some smoke damage.”
He’s never going to let me live this down. Once and only once, I had a girl over, and we were getting a bit frisky on the couch. I knew Cason was out with Carter, so I thought sure why not. The girl I was with was a bit kinky, but I just rolled with it. Things got hot and heavy real fast, and before I knew what was happening, she had my shirt off and a candle in hand. I’m all for trying out new things, so I let her light the candle and drip some wax on my chest. Needless to say, when she sneezed, she dumped a shit ton of wax on me, and fuck it hurt. I was so focused on getting the wax to cool, I didn’t realize I’d knocked the candle, which didn’t go out by the way, out of her hand and it started a small fire. “I don’t understand why you keep bringin’ this up. I replaced all the furniture.” Glancing down at my feet, I add, “Still can’t grow any nipple hair back.”
“Dude,” Cason starts. Looking back up, I hold back a laugh with the disgusted look on his face. He’s totally grossed out. “Please don’t ever say nipple hair around me again.”
“Nipple hair.”
“Stop it.”
“What’s wrong with nipple hair? It’s only natural for a man to have nipple hair.”
“I’m leavin’ before you say nipple hair once more,” Cason says and I open my mouth to say it again, but he holds up a hand. Laughing as he glares at me and stands, he walks to the door. Before he opens it, he turns back to me. “Are you workin’ night shift?”
“Yep. I’m workin’ a double, so I won’t be around to smother you with all my love.”
“Such a shame.” He counters with a deep monotone voice.
“You know,” I begin as I make my way over to him. “One day you’re going to actually like the things I say.”
“I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you,” he claims then he walks out the door, shutting it behind him. With Cason gone, the apartment seems too quiet. Huffing out a breath, I head back to my room. I only have a few hours left before I have to go to work, and for some reason that damn pang in my chest is back. My mind instantly goes to Savannah’s eyes, and I wonder if I’ll ever see her again.