Sitting out on the back porch at Carter and Shelby’s house, I laugh loudly listening to Caden and Cason bicker back and forth. We haven’t been here but ten minutes tops and they’re already down each other’s throats. It all started when Caden asked to borrow Cason’s shirt, and once Carter finally gave one to Caden when Cason outright refused, their fight started to escalate. Turning to Shelby, she shakes her head, and I lean over to ask, “Are they always like this?”
“God yes. I don’t see how they can stand livin’ with each other.”
Carter and Caleb try to break them apart, and I can’t help but laugh when Caden starts to make faces behind Cason’s back. “Honestly,” I respond back to Shelby. “I’m not sure either. I’ve seen them banter before, but not like this.” I’m not even sure what started their little tiff other than Caden asking for a shirt, but with them, there’s no telling.
“Trust me,” Shelby says then takes a drink of her wine. “You’ll get used to it. I’ve been around them most of my life, and they’ll never change.”
“They make good entertainment though,” I pipe back with a grin.
“That they do.” Finally Caden and Cason take a seat, away from each other, and Carter and Caleb sit back down. Caden huffs out a breath when he grabs his beer off the table, and Cason glares at his twin. “I’ve been meanin’ to ask you,” Shelby asks, and I turn giving her my full attention. I really didn’t get a chance to talk to her much at Caleb’s party, and I’m hoping to get to know her more now. She’s just so friendly and easy to get along with. “What’s the deal with you two,” she asks as she glances at me then Caden.
“Shel, don’t make her uncomfortable,” Carter states.
“Oh shit. I’m sorry. Too much?” Feeling Caden’s gaze on me, I ignore it and keep my eyes on Shelby. Taking a gulp of my beer, I think of something to tell her. I’m still unsure what this is between Caden and me. Seeming to realize I’m at a loss, she says, “Forget that question. How about you tell me your favorite Disney movie.”
Letting out a sigh, I smile knowing this one is easy. “The Little Mermaid.”
“No shit! That’s mine too.”
“I got one for you,” I start and set my beer on the table. “Favorite horror movie.”
“Child’s Play. Chuckie is my favorite. Always has been and always will be.”
Grinning widely, I ask, “Why aren’t we besties? That’s mine too.”
“Oh fuck,” Caden groans beside me, and I turn to him. “Not that damn pyscho killer doll again.”
With my frown, Shelby explains. “Caden hates Chuckie. He’s scared to death of him.”
“I am not! I just think a doll killin’ people is a little creepy. Dolls are not supposed to kill people.”
Laughing at Caden’s lame excuse, I ask him, “So you wouldn’t watch Child’s Play with me?”
“He would, but then again,” Carter says with a wide grin. “You might lose some of your hearin’ with his screams. He does it every time we watch it.”
“I do not!” Caden yells, and I let out a laugh. He stands and holds a hand out to me. “Come on, Savannah. We don’t need this kind of negativity in our lives.”
Shaking my head, I take his hand and stand saying, “Don’t you think you’re overreacting just a little?”
“That’s Caden for you,” Cason pipes in.
“Hey,” Caden says as he turns to his twin. “No one asked you, grumpy pants.”
Before Cason can say anything back, Caleb steps in. “Alright you guys. As much as we love to sit here and listen to y’all bicker like children, I think y’all should cool it.” Caden’s eyes widen as if he’s shocked by what Caleb said, but it does the trick. Caden and Cason glare at each other, but they seem to silently call a truce. “Anyway,” Caleb starts and looks to Caden. “Do you want to check out my new golf clubs? I got them in the back of Cas’s truck.”
Turning to Caden, I frown. “I didn’t know you played golf.”
Carter snickers and Caden gives him a pointed look before he answers me. “I play, but no one said I was good at it.”
“More like you’re horrible at it,” Shelby pipes in and I use my hand to cover my mouth to hide my grin.
Shelby, Carter, and Caleb laugh while Cason smirks at Caden’s facial expression, and before I know what’s happening, Caden puts me over his shoulder. “Caden! Put me down.”
He smacks my ass as he says, “No can do, small fry. You’re comin’ with me since everyone wants to pick on little ol’ me.” Holding onto his waist, so I won’t fall, Caden moves toward the door before stopping. “You comin’, Caleb?” Seeing Caleb jump up, he follows behind Caden.
“What if I didn’t want to go with you? I was talking to Shelby, and you’re being very rude with manhandling me.”
Caden walks through the house, and he doesn’t answer me until he reaches the front door. “Trust me, you’ll have all the time in the world to chat it up with Shel. She ain’t goin’ anywhere.”
Caleb chuckles behind us, and I let out a loud huff. “This isn’t very gentlemanly of you.” Caden ignores me as he takes me outside and walks over by what I assume is Cason’s truck. “Are you going to let me down now? I can walk you know.”
Caleb chuckles as he shakes his head, and Caden grabs my ass tightly. “What if I like totin’ you around?”
“Caden,” I warn. “Put me down.”
“Alright fine. Hold onto your panties, small fry.” He slowly puts me back on my feet, and I smack him on the arm. “Ow,” he yells out. “What did you do that for?”
“She told you to put her down, Caden,” Caleb explains.
“See he gets it.” Narrowing my eyes at Caden, he smirks then kisses me on the lips.
“I just like fuckin’ with you, small fry.” Rolling my eyes at his lame excuse for man handling me, he turns and lets down the tailgate to the truck. Caleb and I follow behind him as he jumps in the bed of the truck, and Caden holds out a hand to help me up. Taking a seat on the side, I watch as both brothers look at the golf clubs. I still can’t imagine Caden golfing, but it would be something to watch. Especially if he’s as bad as Shelby claims. Caleb helps Caden with choosing the right driver for him, and Caleb places a ball on the edge of the tailgate. “Alright, y’all,” Caden says. “Watch the man hit the shit out of the ball.”
“This should be interestin’,” Caleb says sarcastically as he sits beside me.
Caden takes a few practice swings before he steps closer to the ball. Curiosity has me impatiently waiting for him to make his move, but it doesn’t seem like he’s in any hurry. He glances down at the ball, then back up as if he’s really looking for a target to hit the ball at. “Any time you’re ready,” I claim, and Caden turns to me with a huge grin on his face.
“Just watch and learn, small fry.” He turns to his brother adding, “And you too Caleb.” Shaking my head, I cross my legs waiting for Caden to hit the freaking ball. With a serious look on his face, Caden finally swings the golf club back, and right as he brings it forward, he loses his footing and takes a tumble off the truck. As I stand to check on him, he quickly jumps back up off the ground. “Who the hell pushed me?”
Caleb and I burst out laughing because he really thinks one of us pushed him. “No one pushed you, jackass,” Caleb says with a shake of his head.
I can’t control my laughing enough to say anything, and it earns me a hard glare from Caden, then he brushes off his shorts before climbing back up in the truck. “Okay I’m goin’ to do it for real this time,” he claims. Getting control over myself, Caden winks at me and repositions the ball where he wants it. Watching him closely, I wonder if he’s actually going to hit the ball this time. After a few more practice swings, Caden spreads his legs and swings the club back. He does hit the ball this time, however, when he brings the club backward, it flies out of his hands. Hearing a loud crack, I whip my head toward the sound.
“Oh fuck,” Caleb says with a whisper and my eyes widen.
Caleb and I turn our gaze to a wide-eyed Caden, and it seems we’re all in shock. I’m not sure how Caden did it, but when he let the club go, it hit the back glass of the truck. Not only did it crack the window, but the freaking golf club is stuck inside the glass. Caden glances back to the damage he’s done, then back to me before yelling, “Run!” Grabbing Caden’s hand, we jump off the bed of the truck and take off running down the road. I’m not sure where Caleb went. All I know is he isn’t behind us.
We don’t make it very far down the road before I hear Cason’s voice booming in the distance. Oh boy. He sounds pissed, but I can’t say I blame him. Caden continues to run, and I start laughing at the predicament we’re in. Of all the things to go wrong, this definitely isn’t one I imagined happening. “Caden, slow down,” I call after him and lose a flip flop. He lets my hand go, and I try to control my laughter as I walk back to get my shoe.
Out of breath, I place my hands on my knees. It’s hard to get a handle on myself since I can’t stop laughing. “Did that just really happen?” Caden asks, and all I can do is nod. “Cason sounded mad.” Looking up, Caden is glancing back toward the house as he says, “I don’t think we should go back for a while, small fry.”
Shaking my head, I suck in a deep breath before answering him. “I think that would be wise. Unless you want Cason to kick your ass.”
“Psh. He can try,” he starts. He places a hand on his hip as he adds, “I can’t believe that just happened. What are the odds?”
Finally catching my breath, I stand and walk over to him. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I glance up at him. “It was pretty epic, but please no more running.”
Caden lets out a chuckle and rubs up and down my arm. “Alright. No more runnin’ it is.” He steps away from me, and I wonder what he’s up to now. “Why don’t we just,” he says and lays down on the road, “relax here?”
“In the middle of the road? Where we could possibly get run over?”
Putting his hands behind his head, I can only stare at the fine man below me. He sure is a sight to behold. “No one is goin’ to run over us. Come here, small fry. Lay with me.”
Letting out a deep sigh, I do as he wants. Resting my head on his now outstretched arm, I place my arm over his stomach. “If we die, I’m seriously going to be pissed at you.”
Glancing up at him, he grins then says, “I promise we’ll be fine. Just relax and gaze at the stars with me.” Rolling over on my back, I gaze up at the stars. I’ll admit, this is very sweet and romantic even though we’re technically hiding out from Cason. “I used to do this all the time when I was a kid,” Caden says softly.
“What? Lie in the middle of the road and wait for some lunatic to run you over?”
“No,” he says with a chuckle. “I meant I would look up at the stars and wait until I could see a shootin’ star, and then I would make a wish.”
Admiring the stars above us, I quietly ask, “What would you wish for?”
“Well,” he begins. Letting out a sigh, his arm I’m resting my head on pulls me closer. “I would wish for things little boys always want.” He’s silent for a bit, and I glance at him once more when he says, “When I got a little older, I wished for a love like Carter and Shelby.” Frowning, I start to ask why when he begins to explain. “After what happened with Emily,” he stops, and I hope I never see that woman. I hate the way she played Caden and Cason. “I wasn’t sure if love would ever happen for me. And seeing the way Carter was with Shelby, I don’t know. I wanted what they had.”
Understanding what he means, I lean up to gaze into those blue eyes of his. “They do have something special don’t they?”
“They do. It’s funny that I’d forgotten all about my wish.” I feel as if he wants to say more, but instead, he caresses my face. He gazes back at me, and he swallows hard. Feeling he’s about to do or say something I’m not ready for, I lean down and take his lips. He doesn’t seem to mind as he kisses me back, but this kiss feels so much different than our other ones.
He’s kissing me like he’s in love with me.
It’s so tender but holds so much passion at the same time. Even if I don’t want to acknowledge what’s going on between us, deep down I can feel it. My heart pounds in my chest with each caress of his tongue against mine, and my stomach dips when he sucks my bottom lip. Looking into his eyes, I feel the last brick around my heart crumble. It falls with the rest of the wall I thought I had placed securely around my fragile heart, and knowing what this means, I have to pull away from him.
He doesn’t protest as I lay back down beside him, but on the inside, I’m freaking out. I wasn’t looking for love when I came to Mississippi, but apparently, it found me anyway. Trying to get a hold over my emotions, I clench my jaw so the words don’t come tumbling out of my mouth.
I can’t be in love with him.
I’m here for one reason only, and that’s to find my birth mother.
One week later …
I’ve been trying everything I know to put distance between Caden and I. Since that night we gazed at the stars, I’ve tried so hard to put my feelings aside. But no matter what I do, Caden refuses to give me space. A part of me doesn’t mind that he knows what I’m doing, but that other part is freaking out. Love was never a part of my plans, but no matter what I do, it’s always there threatening to surface. I fear the words are going to break free, and I just don’t know if it’ll be a good thing or not.
Which is why I’m waiting for Kelsey to be ready to Skype.
I need my bestie to give me advice. She’s always been the one to give it to me straight, and she’s the only one I trust with this. And it wouldn’t hurt to have an outsider’s opinion.
Sitting down on the couch, my heart continues to pound in my chest seeing Caden eating a granola bar in the kitchen. I’m not sure if he’s picked up on sudden nervousness again, but it’s so hard to be near him when I know I’m in love with him. He hasn’t brought it up, and neither have I. Jerking my gaze away when I see him walking toward me, I remind myself to chill the fuck out. Just as he reaches me, my phone rings. Seeing Kelsey’s face on my screen, I open the Skype app. “There’s my favorite girl,” she says with a bright smile, and I shake my head.
“I better be your only girl,” I playfully say. It amazes me how Kelsey can have her black hair piled on top of her head, makeup free, and still look beautiful.
Her bright green eyes narrow at me as Caden takes a seat beside me. “You know you’re my one and only.”
“Am I goin’ to have to share now?” Caden asks.
“Is that the handsome fella you’ve been hiding, Savvy?”
Rolling my eyes, I face the phone so Kelsey can see him. “You must be Kelsey,” Caden says with a huge grin.
I can only sit back and watch Kelsey’s eyes widen and of course, a smile forms on her face when she glances back to me. “I totally get why you’ve been hiding him, Savvy. He’s gorgeous.”
Caden chuckles at my friend’s bold statement, but she’s not wrong. Not by a long shot. “I haven’t been hiding him,” I claim.
Kelsey shrugs as she says, “Why am I just now meeting the mystery man?”
Before I get a chance to answer her, Caden leans over and kisses me on the cheek. “I’ve got to go to work, small fry. Be good while I’m gone.”
Licking my lips, I suck in a breath as I watch him get up. It should be illegal for him to wear his police uniform so well. “I’ll try my best.” Chuckling, I can’t help but watch as he leaves the apartment.
“Damn, Savvy. You’ve got it bad.”
Placing a hand on my face, I groan. “I know. I can’t help it.” Lowering my hand, I let out a heavy sigh. “Obviously you’ve seen him. How in the hell am I supposed to resist that?”
Kelsey frowns and is quiet for a moment before she asks, “Why are you resisting then?” I open my mouth to explain why, but when nothing comes out, she claims, “You have absolutely no reason to hold back. I mean you’re living with the man for Christ’s sake.”
“I know all this, Kel.”
“Then what’s the problem? Seriously, Savvy. What’s holding you back? Because I’ve got to tell you, if you don’t want him, I’ll gladly take him.”
Glaring at my friend, she laughs, and I’m shocked by the instant jealousy that flares in the pit of my stomach. “Hands off. He does have three single brothers though.”
Kelsey’s eyebrows raise as she asks, “Really? Maybe a trip to Mississippi is in order then.” Wondering if she’s serious, I start to ask before she says, “Maybe someday.” Waving her hand back and forth, she claims, “We got off track. Back to you. You were about to explain exactly why you haven’t told Caden how much you love him.”
“Is it that obvious?” Shit. If she can tell just by Skyping, then I’m sure Caden knows.
“Honey, it’s written all over your face. Plus I know you.”
Knowing she’s right, I take a deep breath. “I’m in deep shit here.” When Kelsey just blinks at me, I know it’s time to fess up. “I wasn’t expecting to fall in love with him. I didn’t think I could meet someone like him.”
“That still doesn’t tell me why you’re holding back, Savvy.”
Leaning back on the couch, I pull my legs up to my chest as I hold the phone so Kelsey can still see me. Gazing off in the distance, I quietly ask, “What if he can’t love me back?”
“Savannah Lynn Owens,” she says sternly, and I snap my gaze to her. “That boy is so clearly in love with you. I can see it, and if you can’t, then you’re lying to yourself.”
She does have a point, and I know it. But everything goes back to my insecurities of never being able to receive love because my own birth mother just gave me away. Not to mention, she went to such lengths to keep it hidden. “You could be right.”
Kelsey lets out a long sigh before saying, “Savvy, just because your mother gave you away does not mean you can’t be loved. Your parents love you more than anything in this world, and I love you like you’re my own sister. You can be loved. You are loved, Savannah.” Blinking back the tears that have suddenly appeared, I suck in a breath as she continues. “I know love can be scary, but you can’t let the fear hold you back. Trust me. Fear rules my life, Savvy. Don’t let it run yours.” Wiping a tear that rolls down my face, she adds, “You need to tell him how you feel. If you don’t and he slips through your fingers, I know you’ll regret it.”
Sniffing, I let my legs drop, and I sit up straight. “You’re right. I should take the risk and hopefully it doesn’t backfire.”
“It will not backfire. Now why are you still talking to me? Go get your man, Savvy.” Letting out a laugh, I thank her for once again help me figure my shit out.
Hanging up the phone, I place it on the coffee table feeling somewhat better about my feelings. I know what I have to do, but even with knowing, I’m still afraid. All that’s left to do is to just tell Caden.
I will.
When the time is right.