It’s funny how everything I’ve ever wanted is within my grasp, but one little thing threatens to rip it away from me.
It all started an hour into my shift. Caleb called, and I rushed over hoping the news he wanted to tell me was going to be good.
It wasn’t.
It was so far from fucking good.
“You’re sure this is correct?” I ask for the third time.
“Yes, Caden. I told you this already.”
My thoughts are spinning with trying to process all this new information. Had I known where this road would lead me, I might have turned the fuck around and changed directions. But now that I’m here and have all the information Savannah has ever wanted, I’m not sure how to go forward. “Can you keep this under wraps?”
Caleb frowns as he asks, “What are you askin’ me, Caden? You want me to keep this a secret? Because I’ve got to say, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“I know, but this,” I say, waving my hand in front of Caleb’s computer screen. “Isn’t what I was expectin’. This shit will not go down well.” My instincts are screaming for me to protect Savannah at all costs. Even if I have to bury the fuck out of this information, I’m willing to do so if it doesn’t hurt her.
“I get it, I do, but you have to tell her.”
Knowing he’s right, I glance away from the computer screen and run my hands down my face. “I know and I will. Just give me some time to figure this out. Can you do that?” As bad as I want to tell him to delete everything, and wipe the fucking evidence away, I know I can’t do that. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to run right to Savannah and tell her. When Caleb nods, I know he’s at least given me some time to figure this shit out.
Even if I know all this could possibly blow up in my face, I have to at least consider what this means not only for Savannah but for the rest of my family too. And for the first time ever, I’m going to be lying to the ones I love. For the first time, I’ll be the one holding onto a secret that could literally destroy everything I love.
Three weeks later …
The one thing I’ve learned about keeping a secret is the guilt makes me do stupid things. Every day that goes by and I don’t tell Savannah that I know who her birth mother is, my guilt intensifies. I want to tell her, but I’ll admit I’m a selfish bastard for holding back. A part of me wants to protect her and keep her away from the fucking train wreck that’s coming. But the other part of me doesn’t want her to know because she won’t have a reason to stay with me anymore. Granted I’ve had multiple opportunities to tell her the truth and come clean, but every time the words start to come out something stops me. The thing is Savannah is so happy, and she’s finally showing me how she feels about me. She hasn’t come out and said it, but she doesn’t have to. I can see it in her eyes, feel it in her sweet caress, and above all, I see it in her actions.
Which is why I don’t want to fuck what we have all up.
Every morning I wake up with her by my side and each time I swear this will be the day I tell her. Knowing she’s going to wake soon, I pull her closer to my side and kiss the back of her neck. She mumbles something I don’t catch, and I smile when she begins to rub her ass against me. “Mornin’, small fry.”
Sleeping beauty rolls over showing me that gorgeous smile, and my heart clenches in my chest knowing there’s a chance I won’t get to see this anymore. It’s just a feeling I have in the pit of my stomach, and with the way she fought so hard against me, I know once the truth is out she’ll take off running. “Good morning,” she says in a raspy voice.
Pushing all the guilt aside, I brush her hair out of her face. “You still want to go over to Carter and Shelby’s tonight?”
“Maybe. Ask me later okay?” Caressing her cheek, I savor this moment with her. Why do I feel as if we have an expiration date? Probably because you’re keeping a secret from her. Swallowing hard, I know this is my chance to come clean, but just as I’m about to tell her, she asks, “Everything alright? You’ve been acting strange lately. Well more strange than before.”
Tell her. “I’m fine. Work is just stressin’ me out.” God more fucking lies. I’m surely going to hell for this.
Savannah kisses me sweetly then says, “If you want to talk about it I’m always here.”
“I know. It’s nothin’. Just another day on the force.”
She sits up in the bed then glances down to me. “You’re off today right?” Once I nod, she gets out of bed and grabs some clothes. “Maybe we could do lunch later?”
Smiling, I love how she’s always trying to make plans with me now. It’s moments like this I think maybe she will be okay with staying with me, but then again I don’t know for sure. She’s never said, and although she doesn’t bring up leaving as much, I worry she’s still a flight risk. “Of course, small fry. I’ll pick you up at the gym.”
“It’s a date then.” There goes that bright smile again, and my heart skips a beat. “I’m going to shower before Cason uses all the hot water. Again.” Chuckling as she walks out, I hear her mumble, “He’s worse than any girl I’ve known.” She couldn’t be farther from the truth. I have no clue what my twin does while in the bathroom, but if you let him, he’ll stay in there for hours. I don’t even want to think about the nasty things he does in there. Just … ew.
Jumping out of bed, I put on a T-shirt and a pair of boxers. Once dressed I glance at the bathroom door knowing I don’t have long to talk to Cason. I haven’t really seen much of him since I learned the truth about Savannah’s mom, and he’s working a lot with adding new training equipment and a lap pool at his gym. Thankfully I find him in the kitchen. His eyes lock with mine, and he immediately sets his coffee mug down on the counter. “What did you do?” he asks, and I take a deep breath.
I’m not surprised at all by his question. Being his twin, he picks up on things more than any of my brothers. “I didn’t do anythin’,” I claim which is the truth and part of the problem.
“You’re hidin’ somethin’.”
Crossing my arms, I hate this part of our bond. It would be nice to just say what I want first without all the accusations. “What makes you say that?”
Cason gives me a blank stare as he says, “I know you. What is it?”
“Alright, alright.” Leaning against the counter, I glance back toward the bathroom just to make sure Savannah is still in there. “I found out who Savannah’s birth mother is—”
“And you haven’t told her yet?”
“Well if you would give me a minute to finish I would’ve told you that. Rude much?” Cason lets out a loud sigh, and I shake my head. “Anyway as I was saying’, no I haven’t told her.” With Cason’s hard stare, I quickly add, “But I’m goin’ to. I just … I don’t know how. This is big, Cas. Like life changin’ big.”
“You’re point is what exactly? She still has a right to know.”
“I know. Believe me I know, and I feel like an asshole for keepin’ it from her.” Cason frowns and is quiet for a while. He just stares at me and I won’t lie, it’s starting to get a bit awkward. “Are you just goin’ to stare at me all day or give me some advice?”
“My advice,” he begins as he picks up his coffee mug. “Tell her.”
“Tell me what?” Jerking my head to the right, Savannah is walking toward us.
My heart races knowing this is the perfect time to tell her, but instead I chicken out. “Oh just that you’re the most amazin’ woman on this Earth.” Cason smacks my arm, and I jump away from him. Giving him a pointed look, I opt for distraction. Grabbing Savannah by her hips, I pull her to me and give her a kiss.
“What was that for,” she asks, and I smirk hearing the intake of her breath.
“Just kissin’ my favorite girl.”
She frowns up at me, and I swallow hoping she doesn’t bring up what Cason said again. I’m not ready to tell her what I know, and as bad as it makes me seem, I want to hold off as long as I can. “Are you sure you’re alright?”
Hearing Cason’s grunt, I ignore him as I answer her. “Yeah, small fry. Just peachy.” When she shrugs, I know I’m off the hook. At least for now. Letting out a sigh, she steps out of my reach and walks back into my room.
When she shuts the door, Cason slaps me again on my arm. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” If his gaze could kill, I would be dead. And I hate when he gets this way. “You’re a fuckin’ idiot. Why didn’t you tell her? You know this shit is goin’ to backfire on you, and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.”
“I know, Cas. Jesus can you just give me the benefit of the doubt for once in your life?”
“No,” he states then rubs his forehead with the back of his hand. It’s clear he’s frustrated with me. “I won’t let you off the hook this time. You need to tell her.” With a shake of his head, he leaves the kitchen without so much as a goodbye. Just like Cason to make such a dramatic exit.
“I thought you had my back,” I call after him.
“I do but not with somethin’ like this.” My head falls back, and I let out a groan when he slams the door.
Glancing at my bedroom door, I should go in there and purge all these fucking secrets to Savannah. I hate keeping shit from her, and I absolutely hate lying about it. But I’m fucking terrified of losing her. If I tell her, there’s a big chance I’ll lose her. And if I keep lying to her, there’s also a chance I’ll lose her.
Fuck me. I’m screwed either way.
The question is how am I going to keep the one woman I love from leaving me?
Taking another drink of my beer, I glance to Savannah loving the sound of her laugh. A grin forms seeing her so happy and free. She’s changed so much since I first met her, and I hope that has a lot to do with me. I’d like to think so, but then again she’s special all on her own. Not to mention, my whole family seems to be in love with her too. I knew they all would, and even Clark approached me once we arrived at Carter and Shelby’s house and apologized for being a douche canoe when he first met her. I didn’t ask him where he was the last time we came over because I know he’s dealing with his demons. But I’m glad he changed his tune, or I would have to change it for him. All joking aside, one would think Savannah wouldn’t have any reason what-so-ever to want to leave, but I know better. Even if she’s having a blast with Shelby now, and how she fits in with all of us, I know this is all temporary. Maybe I’ve known it all along she was never meant to stay with me, and it makes my chest constrict knowing this.
Pushing these unwanted thoughts from my mind, I try my best to act like I’m just the same ol’ funny Caden. It’s hard, especially when Cason keeps glaring at me from across the outdoor table, and Caleb does the same when he stops messing with his phone. Clark is sitting by Carter, and they seem to be in deep conversation. Leaning over, I place my arm around Savannah and whisper, “Are you havin’ fun yet, small fry?”
When she turns to me, I suck in a breath seeing that gorgeous smile. Damn, it gets me every single time. “I am. Although,” she pauses and glances down at my lips, “I could use another beer.”
“You goin’ to kiss me first?”
“Well,” she says and turns away. Knowing she’s flirting, I grab her by the chin and pull her to me. “I guess I could give you one kiss.”
Forgetting that we’re not alone, I huskily ask, “Just one?”
“I never thought I would see this,” Carter cuts in, and I roll my eyes.
Leaning back in my chair, I ask, “See what exactly?”
“The day you were pussy whipped.”
Savannah giggles beside me, and I shake my head. “I’d much rather be pussy whipped than not have any pussy.”
“Here y’all go again talkin’ about pussy,” Cason pipes in with a monotone voice.
Smirking, I turn to him. “I happen to like pussy very much.”
“Could we perhaps talk about somethin’ else?” Shelby asks, and I stand.
Leaning down by Savannah, she meets me halfway for a kiss and everyone cheers. “Alright now. That’s enough,” I claim. Savannah blushes as I leave a peck on her cheek and grab her empty beer bottle. “Anyone else need anythin’ while I’m up. I guess I’ll be y’alls waiter for tonight.” Everyone but Cason and Caleb hold up their empty beer bottles, and Shelby holds up her wine glass. Making my way around the table, I shake my head and declare, “Y’all are a bunch of damn alcoholics.” Of course they all laugh because I am half joking. Standing by Clark, I raise an eyebrow when he holds up two fingers meaning he wants two beers instead of one. Looks like he needs to add AA meetings to his to do list so he can get back to normal. Huffing out a breath, I snatch Clark’s empty bottle out of his hand and make my way inside the house.
Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Rey & Cedric Gervais starts to play over the radio, and I bob my head to the beat as I drop the bottles in the trash. Turning around, I open the fridge then frown when I hear someone yelling outside. Shaking my head and not thinking much of it, I mumble the words to the song as I grab everyone their drinks. Just as I shut the refrigerator door, Savannah appears out of nowhere and out of breath. “Caden,” she says with wide eyes.
Wondering what has her so spooked, I ask, “Are you alright there, small fry?”
She looks back outside then to me as she claims, “I need four beers and a knife.”
What the fuck is she talking about? “I don’t follow. I’m goin’ to need you to tell me why in the hell you need four beers and a knife.”
“Because.” She starts as she steps closer to me. Leaning in, she whispers, “There’s a donkey out there.”
“Out where?”
“Outside. In the back yard.”
Now I know her and I have had a couple of beers, but I hadn’t realized she’s apparently drunk. That’s the only explanation I can come up with. “There’s a donkey in the back yard?” I ask slowly because I feel like I’m missing something here.
“Yes! I told you that,” she claims in an exasperated tone. Feeling confused, I start to ask her to explain why there’s a donkey in the yard and why she’s so freaked out when she says, “It’s the neighbors apparently, and I’m terrified of donkeys.”
Trying to hold back a laugh, I have to bite the inside of my cheek. She’s clearly not joking around, and I never would’ve thought someone would be afraid of a donkey. “Why are you so afraid of donkeys? One shit on you or somethin’?”
“No, Caden. One didn’t shit on me.” Letting out a chuckle, I can’t help myself. “This isn’t funny.”
“I’m sorry, small fry. Tell me why the big bad donkey freaks you out.”
She glares at me then huffs out a breath. “I fell off one once, and it almost killed me by almost stomping my head. Since then, I can’t be around one and not freak out.”
Placing a finger on my lips, I really try and figure this out. “So you tried to ride a donkey?” With her nod, I ask, “Why would you want to ride a donkey? That’s what horses are for.”
“I don’t know, Caden. I was at a fair, and they had a bunch of donkeys in this ring pin, and I fell off. I don’t know why I have to explain this so much. I’m afraid of them, and you should protect me from it.”
“Protect you from a donkey that isn’t anywhere near you?” When she rolls her eyes, I pull her to me. When she glances up at me, I ask, “What exactly would you like me to do? Stab it for you with your knife? I have to say, small fry. I’m not sure how I feel about killin’ an innocent animal.”
She pushes against my chest, and I let out a laugh at the look on her face. “You’re an ass.”
“I’m just jokin’ around.” She purses her lips out at me, and I wink at her. Remembering she also asked for four beers, I calmly ask, “Why did you want four beers?”
“So I can drink them. Why else would I want a beer?”
I can’t deny her logic behind that one. “Alright then. I’ll grab some more beers then.” Turning back to the fridge, I grab a couple more beers. Thankfully Savannah helps me carry all the drinks back outside, and once I set them down, I notice Carter and Cason are out in the yard trying to round up the scary donkey. Savannah quickly grabs one of the beers off the table as Clark does the same, and she downs hers so fast I frown. “Easy there, small fry.” Taking the bottle away from her, I lean over to whisper, “Don’t worry. The scary donkey isn’t goin’ to get you.”
She smacks my chest as she claims, “I shouldn’t have told you that. You’ll never let me live that one down.”
Grinning, I take a seat and say, “I’ll remember it for the rest of my life. It’ll be a good story to tell the grandkids.” Shelby snorts, and Savannah’s eyes look like they’re about to pop out of her head. “What? Was it somethin’ I said?”
“It’s a little scary how you claim we’re going to have grandkids,” Savannah retorts.
“I think y’all should at least go steady for a bit before movin’ onto grandkids, Caden,” Shelby adds.
“Kill all my hopes and dreams why don’t you,” I pipe back.
“I’m just sayin’,” Shelby says as she takes a drink of her wine.
Savannah is eerily quiet during our exchange, and I hope she knows I was sort of kidding. I know it’s way too soon to be talking about future grandkids, but it is something I would like to have with her. A guy can dream right? Before I get a chance to say something back, Carter and Cason return from rounding up the donkey, and I notice Savannah letting out a loud sigh. “Please tell me the donkey is back in its cage?” she asks them and I shake my head.
“I wouldn’t call it a cage, but yes. The donkey is gone,” Carter tells her.
“Thank God,” Savannah says as she grabs another beer.
“I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone afraid of a donkey before,” Clark declares, and I take a beer for myself.
Waiting to see what Savannah will say, I lean back in my chair and cross a leg over the other. Darting my eyes to Cason, he’s glaring at me again. Ignoring him, I glance to Caleb seeing he’s yet again on his phone. I’ve never understood why people come over to hangout, but yet they’re always on their phone. “Well,” Savannah starts. “We all have something we’re afraid of. Mine is just a bit unorthodox.”
Everyone is quiet hearing Savannah’s truth, and Clark clenches his jaw then turns away. I know she didn’t mean to poke the bear with him, but we all know Clark is dealing with a lot of baggage. Sensing the need for a mood change, I turn to Caleb. “Oops baby, what are you doin’ that’s more important than spendin’ time with your favorite people?”
“I’ve asked you to not call me that,” he snaps and doesn’t even bother to look at me.
I know how much he hates it when I call him that, but I can’t help myself. He gets all riled up for no reason, and me being me, I push him a bit more. “I know, but it’s the truth and it’s your nickname.”
He huffs out a breath then says, “You’re the one that gave me that stupid nickname. No one else calls me that but you.”
“Awe now don’t be like that,” I claim then snatch his phone out of his hands. Maybe now he’ll actually converse with everyone.
“Give it back, Caden.”
“No can do, oops baby.” I don’t get a chance to see what he’s even doing on his phone since he jumps out of his chair and lunges for it. Moving it out of his reach, I hold him back with my hand as he struggles for it. “You really love this phone don’t you?”
“Caden, give it back. I’m not playin’ around.”
Pushing him off me, I jump out of my chair and look down at his screen. It timed out, so it’s locked now, but he doesn’t know that. “Let’s see what secrets you’re hidin’ here.”
“Caden,” Cason starts in a stern voice. “I would chill out if I were you.”
Not understanding what he means, I shrug off his warning. “I’m just messin’ around.” Turning to Caleb, he’s glaring at me. “Geesh, oops baby. What’s the hate glare for?”
Feeling everyone’s gaze on us, I frown wondering what the big deal is. “Last chance to give me back my phone, Caden.”
“Or what?” I dare. When he doesn’t move, I glance down at his phone and try to unlock it. I am curious to know what he’s been up to since he’s got here, and why he’s so focused on his phone. Which is why I wasn’t expecting him to tackle me. Hitting the porch hard, I lose my grip on his phone, and it goes flying across the porch as my beer shatters everywhere. Pushing him off me, I jump up and ask, “What the fuck, man?”
Caleb doesn’t say a word as he walks over to pick up his phone. Where I’m standing, I can clearly see his screen is shattered and as he turns around, he snaps, “You’re a fuckin’ dick.”
“I’m a dick? You’re the one who tackled me to keep your precious secret hidden.”
“You want to talk about keepin’ secrets?”
Shit. I give him a warning look because I know exactly what he’s talking about. “How about we talk about this in private.”
Caleb shakes his head and smiles, but there’s nothing funny about this. My heart drops as he says, “No, I don’t want to talk in private. You’re such a fuckin’ hypocrite, you know that.” Savannah’s eyes cut to me, and I can only imagine what’s going through her head. Before I get a chance to stop him, he says, “You’re bustin’ my balls for hidin’ shit, but you’re the one who’s holdin’ back somethin’ from the girl you claim to love.” He stops for a moment to glance at his phone, and I clench my jaw knowing he’s just royally fucked me over. “How about you tell Savvy the truth instead of fuckin’ with me.”
Knowing he’s right and having nothing else to say, he storms inside the house. “I’ll go after him,” Clark says and rushes after Caleb.
The thing is the damage is already done. Swallowing hard, I look to Savannah. She slowly stands and moves in front of me. “Caden? What did Caleb mean? What are you keeping from me?”
Feeling Carter, Shelby, and Cason’s gaze on me, I know my time is up. I can’t keep this from her any longer, and this is so not the way I wanted to tell her. “Savannah, just let me explain.”
“Yeah, explain why the hell you’ve apparently been keeping something from me.”
Glancing to Cason, I silently beg for help. I know I fucked up, and I know this is about to blow the fuck up in my face. Some assistance from my twin would be nice, but he only glares at me. Guess I’m on my own with this one. Taking a deep breath, I look Savannah in the eyes as I quietly confess, “I know who your birth mother is.” When she steps back like I’ve hit her, I quickly add, “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. I swear I was goin’ to but I … I didn’t know how.”
It kills me she can’t even look at me when she asks, “You didn’t know how to tell me what exactly?” Moving closer, I try to take her hand. She jerks out of my reach as she yells, “Tell me, Caden. Who is she? Why did you keep this from me?”
I open my mouth to explain, but honestly there’s nothing I can say to make her understand. And knowing I’ve fucked up big time makes my stomach sink. “Your mother is Tabitha Ross.”
“What did you just say?” Shelby asks.
I glance at her for a moment then turn back to Savannah. “Caleb tracked the fake identity, and it lead him to Tabitha. Then he cross referenced the hospital records, hacked into the database, and made the connection.”
“But that … that’s impossible,” Shelby claims.
“She did leave for a year when we were kids,” Carter explains, and I can see Shelby putting everything together.
Shelby glances to Savannah as she says, “Holy fuck.”
Trying once more to take Savannah’s hand, she shakes her head and moves her hand out of my reach. Her eyes begin to fill with tears as she asks, “What does this all mean then?”
Seeing Cason moving toward me out of the corner of my eye, I glance to Shelby and Carter seeing their shocked expressions. Savannah is the only one that doesn’t know she has a sister. A sister that’s sitting in the chair right beside her. A sister that she’s clicked with since the moment they met. And I’m a fucking bastard for keeping this secret from her. “It means,” I say with a raspy voice. This is the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever had to do. Knowing I’ve held something like this from her for weeks and the fact she’s been searching for her mother for so long, it kills me. My chest constricts as my stomach clenches painfully. Sucking in a breath, it’s time for me to come clean. Fully. “It means that Shelby is your sister. Your half-sister to be exact.”
Savannah’s gaze never leaves mine, and I’d give anything to go back in time and change this. I would’ve never kept this fucking secret, but fuck I wanted to protect her. Tabitha is a conniving cunt, and I know every single fucked up thing she did to Shelby. Not to mention, she’s the main reason Shelby left Carter for so long. So yeah, I fucked up, but dammit I wanted to save her from the pain Tabitha causes. But I know Savannah will never forgive me for this. I can see the betrayal and hurt in her eyes, and when a tear falls down her cheeks, I ache knowing I’ve hurt her so badly. Honestly I wouldn’t blame her if she never forgave me for keeping something like from her. Even if I know Tabitha is an evil bitch, the look in Savannah’s eyes tells me all I need to know. “How long?” She asks. She clears her throat then asks again. “How long have you known?”
“Three weeks. Maybe a little longer.” I’m not proud of this. I feel like a shit bag for doing this to her. She sucks in a breath and places a hand over her heart as she looks away from me. “Savannah, I’m so fuckin’ sorry. Please,” I stop when her gaze locks with mine, and I swallow seeing the anger laced in those blue-green eyes. She doesn’t say a word as she closes the distance between us, and before I can utter a single word, she slaps me across my face. She hits me so hard my head turns, and I instantly feel the sting. Slowly turning back to her, I try once more to apologize. “Savannah, I’m—”
“Don’t,” she says sternly. “Don’t say another damn word.” Her eyes close for a second as she shakes her head, and when she opens them, more tears fall down her cheeks. “I … I can’t even look at you,” she spits out and, yeah it fucking hurts. But more than anything, her not saying a damn word hurts even more.
Then she turns around and literally runs away from me.
Not even thinking about it, I take off after her because I know if she leaves, this will be the end.
And I can’t, I mean absolutely cannot, let that happen.
“Savannah!” I call after her, but she doesn’t stop until I finally catch up and grab her by the arm. “Please, just let me explain,” I beg.
“Don’t fucking touch me!” She yells back and jerks away from me. “How could you? How could you keep this from me?”
Hearing the anguish in her voice cuts me deeper than I thought her hateful words could. But I deserve it. I deserve her anger, wrath, and everything she can give. “I … I wanted to protect you. I swear I was goin’ to tell you, but—”
“But what?” she asks cutting me off. “Why the fuck would you keep this from me knowing how much I wanted this. You fucking knew, Caden. You knew how much this meant to me, and how I’ve literally been looking for my mother for years.”
“I know, Savannah. I know I should’ve told you sooner, but you have to listen to me.” Taking a deep breath, she’s quiet for a moment, and I take my chance. “I wanted to protect you from the truth because of your mother, the woman you claim you want to know is the worst person you could ever want to know. She nearly destroyed Shelby and Carter. So yeah. I fuckin’ lied and kept this from you because I wanted to save you from goin’ through the same shit Shelby did for most of her life.”
“No,” she says as she shakes her head. “That’s not a good enough excuse.”
“What do you want me to say? I know I fucked up, I know I should’ve told you, but I swear I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Then why, Caden? Why keep it from me?”
“Because.” I breathe out. Swallowing hard, I hope what I’m about to say will change her mind and let me make this up to her. “Because I love you. I love you so much that I kept something that could hurt you in the long run. I didn’t want to hurt you, and I’m so sorry for that, but I knew if you found out who your mother was, you would take off to find her and leave me here without you. Savannah, I fuckin’ love you, and I cannot bear it if you leave. So please, please just stay and let me fix this.” This is it. I’ve laid all my cards out on the table. Everything I just said is the truth, and she’ll ruin me if she walks away.
But I know I’ve lost her when she says, “You don’t lie and hurt the people you love.” Another tear falls down her face, and I glance away from her. Hearing someone walking up behind me, I turn to see Cason. Thinking he’s here to help me convince her to stay, I suck in a breath. But he doesn’t even look my way. He walks right past me, and I frown when Savannah asks him, “Can you please get me out of here?”
“Cason,” I call after him when he nods and starts to walk toward his truck. “Cason, please don’t fuckin’ do this.”
He quickly helps Savannah get inside his truck then he makes his way to me. I can feel his rage with our bond, and I square my shoulders when he stops inches away from me. “You did this, not me. I fuckin’ told you this would happen, and now look what you’ve fuckin’ done. Are you happy now? Are you glad you hurt not only Savvy but Shelby too? All because you couldn’t be a fuckin’ man and tell Savvy the truth.” He takes a deep breath, and I can only take the verbal bashing. “I’m takin’ her home so don’t fuckin’ bother tryin’ to talk your way out of this. I better not catch you anywhere near the apartment for a while.” He starts to walk away but thinks better of it. When he turns back, I feel my entire world coming down on me just from the look he’s giving me. “I hope you know I can’t fix this for you either, and it’s goin’ to take a lot for her to forgive you.”
When he turns to walk back to his truck, I curse under my breath. Everything he just said is spot on, and I can’t even be pissed at him for leaving with Savannah or for him clearly taking her side. Watching them as Cason drives away, I feel my heart breaking. It literally feels as if someone is ripping the fucker out, and it’s hard to breathe properly. Cason’s truck speeds down the road, and I stand out in the yard even though I can’t see it anymore. I don’t know how long I stand here just staring off into the distance before I finally decide to move. With my head hanging in defeat, I walk to the front porch and take a seat on the steps. Running both hands down my face, I don’t know why I let shit get this far. One stupid mistake has cost me everything, and I have no clue how to fix it. I don’t know how to get Savannah to listen to me or forgive me. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt her, but it doesn’t even fucking matter now.
I’ve ruined it.
I’ve lost the one woman I’ve ever loved.
Cason was right. This shit blew up right in my face, and I can’t blame anyone for it. This is all on me, and I don’t know what to do about it.
Hearing the front door close, I drop my hands and turn to see Shelby taking a seat beside me. She doesn’t look at me, and I wonder if she’s angry with me too. “So I apparently have a sister and had no idea.” Not knowing what to say, I gaze in the distance. Shelby is quiet for a while, and I don’t even know where to start apologizing to her. Not only did I keep this from Savannah, but I also kept it from Shelby. They both had every right to know, and I just selfishly withheld it from them both. “I know why you didn’t tell her,” Shelby says finally, and I jerk my gaze to her. She looks at me with understanding her eyes as she says, “I know you love her, Caden. I also know you wanted to protect her from my mother.” Turning away, I let my head drop. Even if Shelby understands, it still doesn’t make it right. “I hope you know even if I get why you kept this from me and Savannah, you still shouldn’t have lied or kept this from either of us. But,” she says with a sigh. “I do understand.”
“Thank you for understanding. It’s a lot more than Cas did.”
“Well can you blame him?” Frowning, I glance at her as she says, “He knew what would happen, and he didn’t want to see you or her hurt.”
Shaking my head, I look away because I know this already. But just knowing my own twin turned his back on me, then ran off with my girl, hurts more than I thought possible. “I don’t know what to do now, Shel.”
“Yes you do, Caden.” Snapping my gaze to her once more, she adds, “You win her back.”