Chapter Thirty Three – Cici

He’s giving me the choice, Will wants me to decide whether or not we should be together, which is too much. I know that I want him, my heart yearns for him, and I’m sure if we can properly give things a try then it’ll be different. Without Kingpin hanging over our heads, it’ll all be so much easier. But I’m still very scared.

“I… I do love you,” I say with a shaky tone of voice. “I do want to be with you, but I’m scared.”

“Scared?” Will nods, he understands. “I know, I’m scared as well. It’s terrifying. But we should try.”

We should try, I want to try. God, I want to be with him. I look at Will lovingly, wanting that wonderful sensation of being in his arms again. He’s been wonderful with me ever since it happened, and great with his son too. I hardly hear him talk about work anymore which is a massive change. It could be different. I gaze at him, seeing the intense love behind his eyes. I know that it might be insane to think of, since so much has happened, but maybe we can actually break the mold and things can be different. No one will believe us, but I might.

“Yeah, okay,” I hear myself saying with a nod. “Okay, let’s give it a try. Let’s do this.”

I don’t even know what I’m doing, but it feels right. I don’t feel like I’m making a massive mistake when it comes to me and Will. I feel like we owe it to each other. After everything we’ve been through, we should see what we can be. Maybe I won’t work, but at least we won’t constantly have to ask ourselves what if. I mean, we have to be in each other’s lives, we share a child, so we can’t avoid it. We might as well try.

“But I don’t want things to ever end on bad terms,” I continue with a gulp. “I’m scared that we’ll fall apart.”

Will slides closer to me and he takes my hands in his. “Of course, we could fall apart. That could happen with any relationship, you shouldn’t let fears get in the way. You should open up your heart a little. Some say that it’s better to have loved and lost than never love at all. I think there might be some truth to that. I’m sure I would have less to regret if we spent some time together and it didn’t work out. Do you know what I mean?”

With him giving me that intense look, I can feel my heart fluttering. I lean forwards with my pulse racing and I press my lips gently up against his. My body fills with a sheer intense warmth as he kisses me back, flooding me with passion. I loop my arms around his neck and keep his head close to mine as our lips move in unison. Thank God we’re here in this moment, thank goodness we haven’t given up on one another.

“I love you,” Will murmurs quietly to me. “I love you so much, Cici, you have no idea.”

“I love you too.” I nod as I realize just how powerful those words are. He’s right, about everything. “So much.”

Then the kissing intensifies. The passion creeps in and it overshadows everything else. All the past, everything that we’ve been through, it vanishes into nothingness. None of that matters anymore. Will is right, we’re here, it’s good. We’ve survived the worst thing that could ever happen to us and we’re still here. In love. As his hands knot up into my hair, I let them do so willingly. I even tug at his tee shirt, dragging it off. If we were really going to give this a go then I need to touch every inch of that gorgeous body of his.

“Let me know if I hurt you,” Will says as he tentatively tugs at my top. “I know that you’re still sore.”

I am in places, but right now that pain does nothing but fuel me. It pushes me forward and ignited a deep spark within me. It’s good, this feels incredible. Whatever happened with Landon and Annabelle, they didn’t tear us apart. I’m sure they wanted to, for whatever reason they really didn’t want us to be happy, but we are.

I nod, letting Will know that he can just get on with it already and I kick my legs into the air to allow him to drag off my leggings. In my underwear alone, I can feel my heart hammering violently against my rib cage. Will’s looking at me like I’m precious, but also like he wants to devour me. What was I thinking? There’s no way I could go the rest of my life without seeing that deep, dark desire in his eyes. I need that.

Will takes a step back and he takes his own clothing off, leaving himself only in his underwear alone. I run my eyes over his muscles, gasping as I do. I inhale, breathing him in, loving every moment of knowing that this man is mine. He’s so rugged, so handsome, so utterly delicious. I’m right not to let him go.

“You have another scar,” I comment idly as I look at the line across his torso. “Did that happen then?”

“Oh, yeah.” He looks down at it. “I don’t know when exactly. It was all very much a blur.”

“Hmm, yeah I bet.” I reach across and lightly brush my finger along it. “But now you have a reminder.”

Instead of getting caught up in that comment, like I know he could, Will tightly wraps his fingers around mine and he leads me through the apartment to the bedroom. His eyes remain firmly fixed on mine the entire time as he goes, sending powerful shivers racing up and down my spine. I can see how much he wants me.

Once in the bedroom, I make a nap decision and it’s one I do to surprise Will. I drop to my knees with a thudding sound, falling against his carpet. Then, I glance upwards, I fix my eyes on Will’s and I curl my fingers over the waist band of his underwear. His eyes almost bug out of his head in shock, but luckily it seems to be a happy feeling. I drag his boxers down, letting his thick erection spring free and my mouth begins to water at the sight of his rock hard cock. My tongue twitches, all I want to do is feel him between my lips.

It’s been too long, I think sadly. It’s been such a long time since it’s been just me and Will. This is wonderful.

I grab onto Will’s butt and I yank him closer to me, allowing my breath to tickle all over his cock as I do. His thighs tense and I can see him twitching all over. This seems to be driving him wild, so I lean forwards and I press one small kiss upon him. I barely even brush my lips against him and a guttural groan comes flying out of his mouth. I don’t think he can contain himself, so I lean in and I kiss him again and again.

“Oh, Cici,” he moans while tossing his head back with desire. “You are fucking incredible.”

His words spurn me on, as does the wet heat pooling in my panties, so I part my mouth, I prepare my tongue, and I wrap my lips tightly around him. I slide my mouth as far down his shaft as I can manage, until I feel him hit the back of my throat, then I drag my mouth back upwards again. I dart my tongue out, I flicker it all over him, and his sweet and salty taste sends me wild. I’m frantic with lust, in utter ecstasy, almost like an animal. Being with Will always unleashes a deep seated desire inside of me that I barely know is there.

I concentrate on the tip for a while, licking him like he’s a damn lollipop, and this causes random cries to explode from him. I love doing this for him, I love the powerful, yet submissive, feel of him being between my lips. I’m a slave for him, yet he’s the one at my mercy. It ignites a spark that won’t be put out. I pick up the pace, bobbing my head enthusiastically, licking him all over me, enjoying every damn moment of it…

“No, Cici.” There’s a tremble in Will’s voice as he finally makes me pause. “I’m about to lose it. After all this time, I want to be inside of you, I want to really feel you.” He puts his hands under my armpits and drags me into a standing position. I’m so keen to feel him that I don’t put up a fight at all. “I want to make love to you.”

He picks me up and lies me on the bed, before slowly and tantalizingly pulling the underwear from my body as well. My breasts spring free, my butt is revealed, my core is exposed to him. Will touches me everywhere, feeling my body like it’s the Holy Grail or something equally as special. His needy velvety fingers are like magic, sending sparks and bolts of desire all over. I feel like I’m being tickled or lit up, like a match has been sparked.

“Oh God, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this again,” Will murmurs as his face buries into my throat, his breath sending me to heaven and back. “I’ve missed you so fucking much, Cici. I’ve missed being us.”

His cock teases my entrance and I roll my hips into him, grinding against him desperately, I need to feel him I want him inside of me, I’ve been forced to wait for this for far too long. I need my release.

Finally, Will gets the hint and he slides into me. His delicious cock fills me up and brushes again my very needy walls. There’s a warmth in my womb as I gain that familiar sense of him. He grips onto my back and thrusts continually, causing me to see stars. My head spins, my heart flies, I cling to Will like he’s my everything.

“Oh God,” I moan, lolling my head to one side while desire claims me. “You’re too much.”

Each thrust gets harder as Will instinctively knows what I need, and soon my whimpering moans turn into yells and cries of pleasure. My body is tight, the orgasm is building, I’m like a tightly coiled spring, ready to burst… and when I do burst, it’s like a volcano erupting. I’m boiling hot, burning bright, everything is flowing free from me. As I shudder and buckle, as the weight of the pleasure consumes me, Will holds me close. I feel his hammering heart, I’m consumed by his ragged breaths, I can tell that this bliss is coming for him too...

We lie next to one another panting, staring up at the ceiling as we enjoy the post coital bliss. I’m swallowed up by happiness, secure in my decision. I think Will really might be the one for me, I have this belief that we’ll end up together forever. Rationally, I’m scared, I know that so many things could go wrong, but emotionally I feel good. We have enough love to keep us going.

“Oh, is that Jordan?” I ask while automatically pushing myself into a sitting position. “Is he crying?”

“You lie there.” Will gently presses on my chest, forcing me to lie back down. “I’ll go and get him. Remember, I’m good with him now, you can trust me. I know what I’m doing.”

I feel strange, but in a really good way. It’s good to have someone to share it all with. For the very first time, I feel like I’m really part of a family.