Fatal Attraction by Mia Ford, Bella Winters (37)

“You… you got it?” I ask her curiously. I wrap my arm around her shoulder and guide her back towards the car. “So, that’s awesome, isn’t it? That’s what you’ve wanted, am I right?”

“I don’t know,” she whispers while shaking her head. “I don’t know what I want anymore.”

I don’t say anything else until she’s safely locked away in the car because it seems to me that she’s having some sort of breakdown. I don’t want to get in the middle of that while we’re out in public for everyone to see. This is something that needs to be dealt with in private so she can really process what’s just happened. She sits in her seat and straps herself in, then I pull the car out onto the road and I drive her away from the office to give her a bit of clearly much needed head space.

“I don’t know what just happened!” she explodes before I get the chance to speak again. “I can’t believe that, I just freaked.” She twists in her seat to stare at me with wild, panicked eyes. “They announced it, they told me that I’m the one going to be made a partner and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I think I might have just had a panic attack in there, in front of everyone.” I can’t see it, I can’t imagine Katy falling apart like that, she’s such a strong and confident woman. “I couldn’t breathe at all and then I told them that I would think about it.” She clasps her hand to her forehead in shock. “They offered me the job I’ve always wanted and I told them that I would think about it. I don’t think anyone has ever told a law firm that they would need to think about being made partner. Am I crazy? Have I gone insane? I just don’t know anymore.”

“Okay, breathe,” I command firstly. “I’m sure it isn’t that bad at all. I’m sure you aren’t the first person to need to think about a promotion.” I haven’t ever heard of it, but now isn’t the time to discuss that. “But… why do you think you might be struggling with this decision?” I really need to get into her head and work out her mind set before I attempt to give any advice.

“I don’t know,” she whines while her head rolls to one side. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I do want the job but at the same time I just… I don’t think I’m going to like it as much as I think I might. I think… I’ve told my best friend for years that everything will be better once I’m partner everything will be better. I’ve told myself that I’ll have much more time then and I’ll be able to get my life back… but I really don’t think that’s the case at all. I just don’t know that sticking with being a lawyer is ever going to let me have a life.”

“You’re… thinking about leaving it all behind?” That would be a shame because she’s amazing at her job, but I understand her point of view. The life of a lawyer is a lonely one.

“I don’t know because I don’t know what else I can do, you know. Being a lawyer is all I know.”

I rest one hand on her leg in what I hope is a reassuring gesture. “You just take some time and really think about it. It’s the most important decision that you’ll ever make, so take as long as you need.”

“I only have until the end of the month which is two weeks away,” she sighs deeply. “But yeah, I’ll think it all through properly. I don’t want to make a choice that I’m going to end up regretting.” She turns to face me with sadness rolling behind her eyes. “But I won’t let it affect my work for you, so you don’t ever need to worry about that.”

“Some things are more important than work,” I tell her, shocking even myself. “Whatever happens, we’ll make it work. It’s all going to be fine.”

Chapter Sixteen – Katy

I stare at the computer screen until my eyes feels fuzzy, just drinking the email in. It’s really great news written in the email, it helps me a lot with Evan’s case because it’ll help me to buy some time for him to sort out his finances, but I can’t get as excited as I once would have. Not when I’ve got this dilemma running through my brain. To be partner or not… I can’t believe it’s even a question. I should be jumping at the chance, I should be over the moon, but it just doesn’t feel like the amazing goal that it once did. I don’t have the same shiny ring to it.

“Knock, knock,” Grant’s voice rings through my office. “Can I come in?”

A heaviness overcomes me as I glance up to look at him, my eyelids feel incredibly heavy, but I force a weak smile onto my lips. “Yeah sure, is everything okay, Grant?”

He doesn’t answer me, he waltzes into my office and takes the seat opposite me. It’s a place that he’s sat a million times before and I’ve always wanted him there, but now I feel uncomfortable, like we’re two different species who don’t understand one another at all. I don’t know what’s changed… maybe it’s because I’m a rule breaker now, someone who sleeps with clients.

Oh God. Don’t think about that now… not with Grant in the room.

“What, erm… what’s going on?” I cock my head curiously at him. “All okay?”

“Yeah, I’ve just come in to check on you. I’ve been a little worried.”

“You’re worried about me?” I’m taken aback by this remark. I don’t know why, but it feels weird coming from him now. Insincere, maybe, since I know how disappointed he was when the partner announcement was made. He tried to look like he didn’t care, but I could see it written all over his face. I wonder what his angle is now, maybe he wants to check that I’m not going to take the partner job because he wants it for himself. “But why? There isn’t anything to worry about.”

Grant crosses one leg over the other and he folds his arms across his chest. Then he stares at me like I’ve grown an extra head or something. I feel like I’m a naughty school girl about to get yelled at by the head teacher for acting out in class. In that moment, all the inappropriate memories of Evan and his amazing tongue fills my brain, making me blush brightly.

“Nothing to worry about? Katy, there is plenty to worry about. You got offered the partner position, which I know you’ve been aiming for forever and you turn it down…”

“I didn’t turn it down, I just said that I’d think about it,” I jump back in defensively. Something about his words really freak me out. “Nothing is set in stone yet.”

“Yes, of course.” Grant nods slowly. “I understand that. What I don’t understand is why. Why would you need to think about it? Why isn’t the answer obvious?”

I purse my lips thoughtfully. Rationally I know he’s right but it just isn’t that simple anymore. “I know, but what about having a social life? What about spending time with friends and family? What about making connections and having relationships? I can’t do any of that working in Harrison and Associates, now or as a partner. I’ve always thought it would get better when I was made partner, but now I’m not so sure. Everyone here works all the time, no one has any time off…”

“Yeah I get that. But, it’s worth it, isn’t it? We have good money, success, we’re important, and we’ll be able to retire early. Isn’t all of that worth it?”

I stare at him with wide confused eyes. “But what about your girlfriend? Doesn’t she mind you never being around? You do so many all nighters here that it must put a strain on things.”

He shifts uncomfortably in his seat and flickers his eyes away from me. I can tell that I’ve hit the nail on the head with that remark. “I suppose so, I mean…” He sighs loudly. “Look, I know that you’re right with that one, we’ve split up actually for that reason, but it is what it is. I just need to find someone who’s a bit more open to my schedule.”

I sigh loudly as my heart sinks. It probably should be good news that Grant is now single, especially when he’ll be looking for someone who understands his schedule – just like me, since mine is just as busy – but it isn’t. Not now that I’ve met Evan. He’s changed absolutely everything for me. Now I’ve seen real passion and I’ve felt a tiny bit of what a relationship can be like. I don’t want something stilted and confined by lack of time. I don’t want a relationship where we stare at each other, tired and bleary eyed across an office. That isn’t for me at all.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Grant, but that only proves my point. I just don’t know what to do at the moment. I haven’t made any real decisions yet. I need to think about it still… when I get a moment.”

He reaches out to grab my hand and he gives me an intense look. “You aren’t actually thinking about turning the job down, are you? Because it sounds to me like you don’t even want to be at the company anymore. I don’t know what it’ll be like without you here. I’ll miss you, we all will.”

His words make my heart flutter wildly, but I don’t feel my decision shift. I still don’t know what to do. Just because Grant wants me here, it doesn’t mean I want to be here anymore. Somehow, I need to find a way to keep up with my law career and have a life as well.

I do need to figure it out, but right now I need to get out of this office before the walls close around me. “I need to get out of here for a bit, I have to meet with a client,” I say while standing up. “But thanks, Grant. That was a good chat. It means a lot to me.”

“I just don’t want to lose you,” he tells me intensely. “That’s all.”

His words leave me all churned up in knots, so as I leave the office I make a desperate phone call to someone who will give me another point of view. I don’t want to get swayed either way, I just need a selection of opinions to help me make up my mind and this person will see my lack of life outside work over everything else. She’s the perfect person to give me the opposite opinion.

“Hello, Katy? Is everything alright?” Robyn gushes, sounding terribly concerned about me. “It isn’t like you to call me in the middle of the day.”

“Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to worry you, I just need to talk to you about something. Do you have a moment? Are you at work?”

“Yeah, I am, but I can talk. There’s no one in the store right now so it’s cool.”

I breathe deeply as I slide into my car and I start telling her my story. “Well, you know how I was working towards being a partner? Well, I’ve been offered the job.”

“Oh, my God, that’s amazing! That’s what you’ve been wanting isn’t it? You must be so happy. Do you want to go out and celebrate? We could go and get drinks, since you’ll have more time.”

“The thing is,” I jump in rapidly, needing to make her see that she isn’t on the right line at the moment. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know whether I should take it or not.”

“Oh.” There’s an awkward silence and I totally know why. The last time I spoke to Robyn about it, I was all keen on becoming partner, I told her it was all I’ve ever wanted. I made a big deal about it and now… well now things have changed. I haven’t even seen her to talk about Evan yet, so this new change in me is going to be very strange to Robyn. “I see. So, you didn’t immediately jump in and take it? I thought…”

“I know,” I reply with a sad shake of my head. “I thought so too. I guess I just think that you might be right. Everything might not change and I might still be just as busy.”

“Yeah…” she drawls. She definitely thinks that, which makes my heart sink lower. “I don’t think everything will get a lot better if you become partner, but if that’s what you want to do then you shouldn’t let that affect you. It’s your dream, isn’t it?”

“I thought it was. But now I don’t know.”

“What has changed? This just seems so out of the blue for you. I mean, I’m going to be honest with you, I think you’d be much better off out of that office but that’s just me. I think life is more for living not working, but that’s why you’re the successful one and I’m not.”

Her words make my life feel so empty, I really have just been a husk, existing for such a long time. My life is so gray and boring… I want to inject some color into it. “What else can I do though, Robyn? Being a lawyer is all I know. I just don’t see any other option for me.”

“Oh, Katy,” Robyn laughs. “You are the smartest person I know. I’m sure you can do whatever you set your mind to. If you’re serious about getting out of that office, then I’ll support you. I’ll help you, you won’t be alone in your decision.”

I breathe a little freer as I realize she’s right. Just because being a lawyer is all I’ve ever known doesn’t mean I have to spend my entire life doing it. It might not be easy, but I can do something else if I want. I can step out of the box that I’ve created around myself and spread my wings. Robyn will be there for me, always. She’s proven that to me.

“And since you might be getting your life back, maybe you can finally meet Michael…”

“Actually, about that,” I blush as I interrupt. I need to let Robyn know the truth before I’m forced to let Michael down again. “I might not be able to meet Michael. I might have met someone.”

“Oh, my God,” she coos. “That’s amazing. I’m so happy for you. Is that what’s brought about this change? If so, then my God I’m happy and I cannot wait to meet this guy.”

“Well, not yet, things aren’t that set in stone. It’s all just… beginning.”

“I want to meet up with you soon so I can get all the gossip, okay? I know you’re always busy but you need to make time for me.”

I laugh at her little joke. “Yes, I will do. I’ll text you when I get a chance. Love you, Robyn.”

“Yeah, I love you too, babe. See you soon, okay? Can’t wait to hang out!”

As I hang up the phone to her, I feel a brightness in my chest. This decision has been weighing heavily on me ever since I first heard about it but now I don’t think it’s quite so soul destroying as it once felt. Robyn has made me see that there’s more to life. Maybe, as scary as it is, I can walk away from being a lawyer and do something else.

But not for now. Right now, I have to help Evan with his business. Once I’ve done that, then I can start making all the choices about my future. One thing at a time.

Chapter Seventeen – Evan

“No, it’s okay. I understand that it’s your day off. Thank you anyway, Marie.”

I hang up the phone and look at my boy who’s playing in the corner of my office. So much for keeping his existence away from my employees. They all know that I have a child now! But it can’t be helped, the sickness bug hit Anika hard, it came from nowhere and she doesn’t want to pass it on to Liam. After calling all the other nannies and finding out that none of them are available today, she didn’t have any choice but to bring him here. I just don’t like Liam being in the office, it’s boring for him. I might have to leave in a moment to take him home…

“Hey, how’s it going… oh!” Katy’s face contorts in shock as she sees me and Liam alone in my office. “I’m sorry, have I got the date wrong? Am I not supposed to be here?”

I can tell that she feels awkward, which isn’t surprising. I feel it too. I always keep the women in my life away from my son until I know for sure that they’re going to last… which of course hasn’t been any of them so far, so this is strange. I can’t halt it now, it’s too late.

“No, you are.” I move across the room and rub Liam’s head. He glances up from the tablet screen he’s playing on, but only for a second. He’s engulfed in the game. “We just have a bit of an unexpected visitor at the moment. Liam’s nanny is sick, so I might need to go home. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be a jerk, I should have called you to save you the trip.”

“Oh right, okay, I see.” Katy nods slowly. “There’s some stuff I really need to go through with you today. Do you have time?”

I know that once me and Katy get started with talking business, we can talk for hours, so doing it here with Liam in the room isn’t ideal. I’ll be distracted by him the whole time. Instead we need to go somewhere we can all be a little more comfortable. This isn’t something I would ever normally do, but I don’t see what choice I have right now.

“Did you want to come to my home with me to talk about it? That way Liam has all his toys and stuff to play with and we have snacks on tap? Me and you can get some real discussion time in.”

The thought of Katy in my large home actually brings a bit of a smile to my face. I haven’t wanted anyone to invade my personal space before, which just confirms how deep my feelings for Katy are. I like her, too damn much. She’s just so awesome. I guess in a way this will be a weird test for us. If she can’t handle being around Liam then we can both take a step back now before we get too involved with each other. That way, it won’t hurt so much and Liam won’t get attached.

“Oh yeah.” Katy’s face lights up with glee. “That sounds great actually.” She glances towards Liam, with a shining happiness in her eyes. She doesn’t look as freaked out as she probably should be. “Then we have plenty of time to go over all of this.”

I pat Liam on the back. “Come on, buddy, let’s get going. We’ll head home to play there.”

“No,” he instantly whines. “I don’t want to leave. I want to keep playing this game, it’s fun!”

I sigh loudly, preparing myself for a battle, but somehow it doesn’t quite head that way. Instead, Katy bends down and she stares right into Liam’s eyes which forces him to meet her gaze.

“Hey, Liam, my name is Katy. Do you think maybe we could go back to your house so you can show me your toys? I bet you’ve got lots of superhero stuff, haven’t you?”

Liam drops the tablet on his side and opens his eyes wide and excitedly. “I do! I have a Batman, and an Iron Man, and I also have a Hulk. He stomps around like this…”

Liam jumps up from his chair and he stomps around like a mad man. I expect Katy to freak out a bit but she laughs and joins in with him. I haven’t ever seen him take to anyone so quickly, not even any of his nannies. He’s known for taking a moment to warm up to people so this is shocking. Maybe he has an intuition and he can see right into Katy’s warm soul.

“Wow, that’s awesome,” Katy laughs gleefully. “Now you have to show me all your toys.”

“Yeah.” Liam grabs my hand and he pulls me. “Come on, Daddy, we have to get going. I need to show the nice lady my toys.”

“The nice lady is called Katy,” I call after him. “But yeah, come on let’s go.”

***

I chuckle to myself as I watch Katy and Liam in the middle of an intense game of… well, something or other. I think it started out as alien hunter but now I’m not so sure. It’s transformed into something crazy, but they’re both having a lot of fun, that’s the main thing. It’s left me sitting at my home desk reading through the paper work alone, but I don’t mind.

“Daddy!” Liam calls out while shrieking playfully. “Daddy, come and play.”

“I can’t come and play, I’m in the middle of doing something…” I answer wearily. But as I rub my forehead hard I realize that I’m not actually getting much done now. I’m reading and re reading the same sentences and not drinking anything in. “Do you know what, I’m coming.”

I leap off my chair and I grab a pretend gun to join in. It feels good to actually have some fun in my life, especially with my child. As we race around the house, throwing cushions around everywhere, I feel high as a kite. It makes me see that I’ve shut off from Liam more than I realized, he hasn’t had any time to actually get to know me which is wrong. I need to bring myself back into his life more, I need to be the father that he needs me to be. I need to make up for his lack of mother. I just quite simply need to be better. I can do that. It’s fine.

As I watch Katy play with complete free abandon, I know that it’s her who’s made me have this revelation. Without her, I never would have seen my mistakes when it comes to Liam. She’s made me realize that I’m a workaholic and that I can’t always be that way. Once the business restructure has been set into place, I’m going to take a bit of a step back. Yes, I still want to make a success of the company for my father’s sake… but actually I think he would be proud of me if I could be there for Liam more. That’s where my focus should be.

“Daddy, is Katy staying for dinner?” Liam calls out. “She’s fun. I want her to play with me more. I want her to read me a bed time story as well.”

“Erm…” That might be a bit too much for Katy, I don’t want to push her too far. This is all a bit much for me so I know it must be crazy. She only found out that I’m a father recently, and we’ve only just started hooking up. Reading a bed time story and eating with us might be a little bit too close to happy families. “I don’t know, Katy might have dinner plans…”

“You bet I’m staying!” she exclaims gleefully, actually looking like she might be happy to do what Liam asks of her. “Are you crazy, we’ve still got so much more playing to do.”

“Do you want to come to my bedroom and see my toys?”

I glance at my watch while they discuss superheroes that I haven’t even heard of before. “You know what, you guys go and do that and I’ll get dinner started. Does that sound like a good plan?” I feel weird about it, all nervous, but at the same time I’m quite comfortable in the knowledge that Liam likes Katy even more than the women I leave him with on a daily basis. “Anything you want?”

“Sausages!” Liam screams, filling me with relief. Sausages I can do, that isn’t too hard. “Beans too. And chips. That’s my favorite. With ketchup. Don’t forget the ketchup!”

“Ooh mine too,” Katy agrees with a grin. “That sounds perfect.”

As Katy and Liam move towards the stairs I smile and shake my head in utter delight. Today has been such a surprise. When Liam first got brought to my office I was shocked, I freaked out and thought that I wasn’t going to be able to get anything done. Now, I’ve done a whole day’s work, I’ve had a life revelation, and I’ve also seen how great Katy and Liam get on. I feel like the foundation that my world has been built upon has ripped away, but what’s been left in place is something even better. I knew what I felt for Katy was strong, I knew that it was different, but now I genuinely think that she might be the real deal. She might be the one.

I don’t know if I’ve ever believed in fate before, if I’ve ever thought about the one, but with Katy it’s easy to slip into that mindset. She’s pretty much perfect for me. She’s everything that I didn’t even know I needed. She’s everything I want and so much more.

I shove the food into the oven and stand by it while I think. When I first got that phone call from Barry, my accountant, I thought that the world had ended, I thought that I was facing the worst crisis I’d ever seen… but now I can see it more as an opportunity to do things better. I can make the company smaller and better, I can delegate more, I can give myself more time with my son, and I can actually open myself up to love in a way that I haven’t before.

I feel bad that some of my staff might lose their jobs, despite my promise that they wouldn’t, but what I’ll do if that happens in the restructure is help them get new positions. And I don’t just mean writing them a kick ass reference, that’ll just be a part of it. No, I’ll use all my contacts in the industry to get them great jobs with equal or more pay. I’ll do what I can for everyone. It might not be the best I can do, but at least I’ll give it my all. At least I’ll be doing this as a nice person. As nice as I can be. I don’t want everyone to leave thinking of me as an asshole who just tried to save his own skin, this isn’t that at all. This is me just trying…

Finally, I fall from my thoughts as I hear a thundering down the stairs which means Liam and probably Katy are back. I turn to see them both with superhero dolls in their hands, flying them through the air and screaming and yelling as they play. It’s a sight that’s so wonderful it warms up my heart. It makes me wish that Katy could actually be here, and she could stay here forever. She fits in these four walls, she brightens the whole place up, she makes it look amazing.

I could quite happily fall in love with this woman, I think to myself happily. And I think Liam could too… I just hope I get the chance to find out what this could really be.

Chapter Eighteen – Katy

A weariness overcomes me as I say my goodnights to Liam. I certainly didn’t expect my day to take this turn, but it’s been pretty awesome. I haven’t ever spent a lot of time around kids, but hanging out with Liam was awesome. I get on with him better than I ever could have hoped. Maybe meeting him randomly like that was the best thing that could have happened. It made sure there wasn’t any pressure on either of us. We could just have fun.

Now if things do progress with me and Evan, me and Liam have a great bond to begin with.

“Well, that’s him off to sleep,” I say with a smile to Evan. “What a fun day. I don’t know if we got enough work done but we had a good time.”

“I got some done,” Evan tells me with a grin. “But to be honest I had such a good day with Liam, I don’t even care.” He looks longingly towards the bedroom. “It makes me realize that I don’t spend enough time with him, you know? I want to do that more. I suppose this downsize has come at a good time for me, personally.”

Wow. For a closed off mind he’s really opening up to me and it feels great. It also resonates quite well with my situation which stings at my heart. I’ve been trying my hardest not to think about it all day long, especially not after speaking to Grant and Robyn. But now, it’s filling my brain. It’s consumed me completely. I can hardly think of anything else.

“Yeah, I get it,” I tell Evan while taking a seat opposite. I probably should go now, but I don’t want to. He seems quite keen to have me here anyway, so I’m not gonna fight that. “You want to work out a way to have a life outside of work. It’s a bit like the dilemma I’m having. Different, I know because you have a son, but yeah…” I shrug in a way that I hope comes off a bit blasé. I don’t if I want Evan to know how hard I’m hurting over this. “I want a life too.”

“Is that why you’re still struggling?” he asks me in a caring tone of voice. “I take you haven’t made a decision when it comes to being a partner yet or not.”

“No I haven’t made any decisions, I’m still agonizing over it.” I laugh awkwardly. “Some people keep telling me I should do one thing, others tell me to do the other, I guess I just haven’t worked out what I want yet.”

Evan nods slowly and reaches under the counter. When he pulls out a tumbler of some amber looking liquid my heart leaps up into my throat. If we’re about to start drinking alcohol now that increases my chances of staying here the night. I mean, I could get a cab back, but I don’t think that will happen. I think this is a hint that Evan wants me to stay, and damn it I want to stay too.

“I think we should have a celebratory drink, don’t you?” he says with a wink. “I think we’ve earned it after all the hard work and playing that we’ve done today.”

I gulp noisily and give him one sharp nod. I know I should probably say something, but I can’t seem to find the words. The only thing my brain is certain of is the fact that I don’t want to be anywhere but here, with him. Drinking whatever the hell he’s giving to me. Evan slides me the glass and I take it from him, then I take a massive swig from the glass before screwing up my face and almost spitting it out again. It’s disgusting, so burning hot and bitter, but I have to swallow it down. I need to. If I don’t want to ruin the potential mood that’s going on here then I really can’t spit.

“Wow, that was…” I gasp desperately. “That was something.”

“Oh yeah, it’s quite strong.” Evan gives me a playful, teasing smirk. “Sorry about that, it isn’t for anyone who isn’t a hardened drinker.”

“Oh, so you’re a hardened drinker are you?” He shakes his head. “Just with this stuff, I take it?”

To be honest, by the time I get to the second swig anyway, and I take a much more conservative sip, it isn’t too bad. It’s still strong and bitter, but my throat is already on fire so I don’t have to suffer the burning sensations.

Evan holds out his glass to me and I clink mine against it, despite the fact that I don’t really know what I’m cheering him for. Judging by the twinkle in his eye, it might be about what’s going to happen. A shiver tears up and down my spine as I consider something exciting really happening. The idea of those delicious fingers of his all over me is almost too much to bear. I don’t know how I can stand it again… but I also don’t think I can live without it either.

“Come here,” Evan eventually murmurs, as he sets his now empty glass on the table. “I’ve been wanting to touch you all night long.”

As I rise from my seat and the memory of the last time I hooked up with Evan and his tongue was everywhere, I become something of a sexual goddess. My hips sway, my chest pokes out further, I feel a burning up and down my legs, pulsating in my panties. Evan looks at me in a certain way and it sets me alight. It makes me become the person I am in his eyes, if only for a short moment.

“I’ve wanted to touch you too,” I whisper back as I dip my head towards him. This time, it’s my hands on his cheeks as we kiss and I have to admit it feels nice. It builds up the intense bond that we already share even deeper. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you for hours.”

Evan’s fingers tug at the buttons of my shirt as the kiss deepens and I do the same to him. The atmosphere between us has completely shifted to a thick, heady, sexual tension that fills up my stomach and lungs totally. All I can breathe in is him and it feels incredible. Then once my shirt has been ripped from my body and it lies on the ground behind me, Evan claps his hands onto my knees and he works them up my thighs, getting ever closer to where I’m aching painfully for him. He edges up, then moves his way back down again without actually touching me. He’s teasing me, and it makes me yearn for control. The last time we were together, Evan had all of it, I gave myself over to him completely, but this time I want it to be him. I want him to be a shuddering mess all because of me.

I move my mouth to his thick strong neck and I kiss down his chest, brushing my lips against his rock hard abs as I go. Every new bit of him that I get to feel intensifies everything until I can barely stand any longer. My knees knock together, I’m like a puddle of jelly, it’s a wonderful nightmare.

Surprising Evan, I drop to the floor next to his set with a thud. My head is at the perfect level for what I want to do, and as I gaze up at him with wide, saucer like eyes, I can see the delight in his expression. I fiddle with his belt, keeping my eyes fixed on him the entire time and after a while his thighs tense up and his body shakes with anticipation.

“Oh, Katy,” he groans as his trousers burst open. “Oh fuck.”

He gives me a hand by lifting up his butt and sliding down his underwear to give me the part of him that I so desperately need, and as he does I gasp loudly. I remember him being massive, but being this close to his thick, throbbing erection takes things to another level. I part my lips slightly, wondering if I’m even going to be able to take him in my mouth. I’ll have to try, but the thought fills me with utter thrilling terror.

I wrap my fingers around him and I slide my hand up and down his shaft. His cock is boiling hot, it burns my hand, but I love it. Every damn second of it. It makes my mouth water. So much so that it isn’t long before I’m leaning my mouth in and pressing my lips gently up against him, kissing him. I don’t know what I’m doing really, maybe preparing myself, but it feels really right. Then I flick my tongue out and I lick him lightly. He tastes so good, so manly. I want more of him so I slide my mouth open once more and I wrap my lips around him, filling up my mouth completely.

He feels so good, I actually moan against his cock as I slide up and down him. I don’t know how far I take him in my mouth but I know I can’t do any more. He’s just ginormous. As I bob my head up and down, I lick him at the same time, and soon his cock shudders between my lips.

“Oh fuck.” Evan fists his hands up into my hair. “Oh fucking hell, Katy, that feels…” He’s gasping, desperate, needy, just the way that I want him. “That feels too good. I need you to stop.”

I don’t want to really, I’m enjoying myself as I run my mouth all over him, but I don’t want this to end right here. I want more from Evan, I want to feel him inside of me. The last time wasn’t enough, it made me hungry for more, and now I need that. I need to feel him everywhere.

Evan tucks his hands under my armpits and he tugs me upwards. The moment I’m on my feet I kiss him hard and fast again. As I do, my legs straddle him and I feel the tip of his cock teasing me through my underwear, soaking my panties with need.

“Oh fuck, I need you,” I moan as I hook my arm around Evan’s neck. “I need you.”

He pushes me back for a moment while he grabs a condom form his pocket and he rolls it down over himself. I can feel his fingers brushing against my clit as he does and it makes my head toss back with utter, sheer burning desire. I want him even more than I did the last time we slept together. The last time I needed him because it had been such a long time, but now it’s just him that I’m craving. I’m craving him fucking bad.

Then Evan hooks one of his fingers on the inside of my panties and he pulls them to one side. He grabs my butt hard as he slides me down onto him and he fills me up completely. My walls are so excitable that they clamp around him, claiming him, keeping him in place.

“Oh fuck.” I see stars as I bounce up and down on Evan. “Oh my God, that feels so… so…”

I can’t speak. All the words have been stripped from my body and I’m left without the brain function to do anything but feel. I can feel him, my hammering heart, the boiling pressure that’s building up from my toes and slowly creeping through my body, pushing me nearer and nearer to the knife edge of desire…

“Oh my God,” I scream as I tumble over the edge into the abyss of sheer pleasure. I thrash, I buckle, I crumble as the bliss hits me like a ferocious tsunami. “Oh, Evan… Evan…”

Chapter Nineteen – Evan

“Oh my God, I feel so nervous,” I admit to Katy as I shrug my jacket onto my shoulders. “We’ve been working towards this for so long and now… well now the day is here. It’s finally happening and now… well the future of my company, my life, and everyone in it is in someone else’s hands. Like, it’s up to the banks to decide whether they want to give me some more time and allow me to restructure the firm or not. Urgh, I don’t like someone else having the power.”

“I know you don’t,” Katy replies with a wry smile that holds a big secret within it. “Even if you give it up for a second, you have to claw it back. That’s just how you are I’m afraid.”

I know what she means here, I’m sure she’s talking about something sexual which makes me chuckle to myself. I am like that in the bedroom, I just can’t help myself. I’m just glad that Katy gets it. She and I have a real sexual compatibility that’s off the scale, it’s phenomenal, brand new to me.

“Yeah, well I don’t have any choice today, do I? I have to just do as I’m told.”

“We’ll be fine.” Katy grabs her briefcase and she looks at me. “We have this under control, we know what we’re saying, we’ve rehearsed this, we have all the information we need… there isn’t anything else that I can do. We have got this! We are going to kick ass in that meeting. Don’t worry.”

I nod in agreement with her, but the nerves don’t go anywhere. I don’t know what it is, I just can’t calm down. Maybe it’s because this isn’t just about work, it’s about this being the first day of the rest of my life. It doesn’t just affect me and the company, it’s also going to affect my child, my free time, potentially what I have with Katy too…What I want to have with Katy anyway.

I stare at her out the corner of my eye, as a happy glow overcomes me. There’s something brewing between me and Katy, something awesome and I can’t wait to explore it further. If I delegate more and Katy doesn’t take the partner job, then we’ll have much more time to spend together. Not that I would tell her not to take the job, I’d make us work around it, what she does is up to her. I just want Katy to be happy, whatever that means for her. It’s like we’re both working life stuff out now, and it’s quite nice to be able to do it together. I don’t feel so alone and confused.

“Are you ready to drive down to the courthouse for the meet?” Katy asks. “We might as well get there a little early right, just in case there’s traffic or anything. We can’t be late.”

“Oh right yeah, we should go early you’re right. That’ll give me some time to work things out anyway. I need to breathe and calm the hell down. Maybe I’ll even rehearse with you what I need to say again, if that’s okay with you? I think it’ll be good to go through it all again if you don’t mind.”

Katy rubs my arm in a comforting gesture. “Sure, Evan, whatever you need.”

As we walk from my office towards the elevator, Katy links her arm through mine. All eyes are upon us as we go, including those of Ally’s, but no one seems to react at all. I guess they all knew about me and Katy, it isn’t big news. It feels strange to me though, Katy is making me be open with my life and it’s scary… but not the worst thing in the world. Now my employees know about me and Katy and they know about Liam too. I’m showing the world who I am, just a little bit…

“Do you want me to drive?” Katy asks me as we reach the car. “I mean, I haven’t ever driven anything like this before but I don’t mind. I can take us there, maybe you can have a think.”

“I’m okay, honestly, Katy. But thank you.” My hands shake but I hide it from her. I don’t want her to realize just how nervous I am. “I can drive. I’m fine. It’ll be good for me to drive anyway.”

She nods and slides into the passenger’s seat of the car with her briefcase and all the paper work piled up onto my lap. She looks swamped by it all, but her expression is one of sheer determination. I suppose for me this is all brand new, but for Katy this is the sort of thing that she does all the time. She’s a lawyer who faces these sorts of people and she wins too. She isn’t a fool.

“You look good, Katy,” I tell her honestly as I start up the engine. “And I’m really glad to have you on my side. I don’t think I’d be able to do it if it wasn’t for you. You’ve made this seem not as horrible as it really is. When Barry first told me about this, I was scared, but now with you I feel… I don’t know, I feel okay about it.” I give her a smile. “You’ve given me so much confidence.”

“Thank you,” Katy replies sounding shocked. “That’s really kind of you to say. I mean, all I think I’ve really done is my standard work, but yeah. Thank you.”

She reaches across and holds my hand as I drive, which is the sweetest gesture in the world. I haven’t ever been the romantic type, even Victoria didn’t ever get that side of me, but with Katy it just feels natural. I don’t know what it is about her but our bond is different, it’s strong, intense.

I do my best to keep my eyes fixed on the road, but every so often I dart them towards Katy so I can drink her appearance in. She might be in professional mode but she looks more relaxed than she did when the first time I met her. I can really see her coming out of her shell. I love it, I want to see more of her. I want to see her every damn day. If there is the one for me, then it’s her. For sure.

“I have something to tell you,” Katy practically whispers as we drive. “I know it might be a bit heavy to discuss now but I feel like I need to get it off my chest.”

“Okay?” I reply curiously. “To be honest I’d welcome anything to take my mind off things at the moment, so go for it. What’s going on with you?”

“I’ve made my decision,” she tells me with pride in her tone. I don’t need to look at her to know that she’s smiling, I can just sense it radiating off of her. “I know what I’m going to do now.”

“You… you do?” My heart leaps up into my throat. This affects me too, whatever she says next has a big impact on how me and Katy will make this work, if we make this work.

“I do. You see, my main problem is all I can do is law. I don’t know anything else, it’s literally all that I have…” I don’t know if I like the way that this is going. “But I don’t want to continue with the life that I’ve been having. I need to find a way to have some more time.” I see her clench her fists together in excitement. “So… I guess what I’ve decided is to start up my own law firm.”

“Your own law firm? Are you serious? That’s crazy… but crazy awesome.”

“I know right, but I’ve been thinking about it and I think it’s the right move for me. I have the right skills and the right connections. It won’t be easy and it might take some work at first, but it’ll be mine so I’ll control the hours and the jobs. I’ll only take on the jobs I want.”

My heart skips an excitable beat, that’s really great news, she wants to start up a firm so she can work the hours that she wants, so she can work around her life. She can have a life that involves me, and if she ever wants to make things work with me, and move in with me, then she won’t even need to work much because I can take care of her… not that I’m getting carried away here.

“That sounds awesome, Katy. I’m really proud of you. That’s so great. You’re really taking control of your life and doing what you want. That’s just so brave and amazing.”

I grab her hand tighter and give her a grin. I really am glad for her, whatever makes her happy, and I really do think that we can see what we are to each other now. That’s all I want in the world.

“Thank you…” She pauses thoughtfully for a moment. “I wanted you to know first.”

We drive the rest of the distance in silence, but it’s a happy silence where we’re both lost in our own thoughts. I don’t know what Katy is thinking about, but I’m secretly planning a future inside my mind. I’m seeing me, Katy, and Liam becoming this little cut family that are happy forever more.

What has happened to me? I can’t help but think. Who have I become?

If someone had told me a few months ago that I would end up planning a future with a woman I would have screamed with laughter, but then I didn’t know that Katy was about to rock into my life and change absolutely everything for the better. God, I’m so glad to have her. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her now, my life would be empty without her. She’s amazing.

Once we arrive at the court house, I park up the car and take a few deep breaths. On the drive down, I thought I would want to go over the speech again and again but now I just want to let it happen. I feel like I’ve rehearsed myself to death and I don’t want to do it anymore.

“Shall we take a walk?” I turn to ask Katy with a little tremble in my voice. “Maybe take a walk around the block or something? Work off some nerves?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever you want. Whatever you need to do.”

Katy pushes herself out of the car and she leaves all the paper work in the car so we can take a walk. She smiles at me happily and waits for me to get ready, but before I can join her, my cell phone blasts out, making me jump with shock it’s so loud.

Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

“Oh, it’s Nancy, one of the nannies,” I tell Katy regretfully. “This might be about Liam so I better just take it. Is that okay? Will you be alright?”

“Sure,” she indicates towards the car. “You do whatever you need to do. I’ll just wait here. Take as long as you need, okay? I’ll just have a read through the opening statement again.”

As I walk away from Katy to find somewhere to take the call in private I feel all weird inside. Nancy is one of the better nannies, she never rings me unless she really needs to so this freaks me out. I really don’t need any bad news right now, not before my meeting. I just need to get my head in the game. But if it’s something related to Liam then I have to hear it. It might be important.

“Hello,” I say shakily. “Nancy, is everything alright?”

Then she says the statement that’s going to change everything forever…

Chapter Twenty – Katy

I glance nervously at the windshield anxiously as an unexpected bolt of ice cold terror circles my heart. I don’t know where it comes from, but it grabs my hard. Ever since Evan’s phone started ringing I had this weird feeling inside and now it’s just culminating into a volcano eruption.

What’s going in? I ask myself anxiously. Who is he talking to? What’s happening here?

I quickly tell myself to stop panicking because it’s pointless, it’s probably just my nerves for my upcoming meeting projecting into something else. Just because Evan’s phone has rung doesn’t mean it’s anything to worry about. It could just be someone from his work calling about nothing important, it could just be one of his friends, I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.

But then Evan appears in view and the sickness intensifies. He’s pale, almost deathly so, and his hair is all tousled like he’s been pulling at it like there’s no tomorrow. It was something bad on the phone, I just knew it. I could feel it in my bones. Now my bones feel even worse, like glass that could be shattered at any given moment. I’m shaking, trembling, but I push my way out the car to see Evan. I hope this isn’t something new related to the case, I don’t know how we’ll cope with new information but whatever it is I need to keep my cool for Evan. He clearly needs me right now.

I and race towards him quickly with my heart pounding in my throat. My brain buzzes with anxiety but I push all of that to one side and focus only on his beautiful, tormented face.

“What’s going on?” I gasp as soon as I reach him. “Are you okay?”

“It’s Liam,” he whispers back almost staggering as he does. “He’s hurt.”

Oh fuck, this is much worse than I was expecting. His son is hurt… this is terrifying. I don’t even know what to think. “Liam?” I ask desperately. “What’s happened?”

He stares at me, dead in the eye, which is the moment that I can see the true unbridled terror there. I understand it, his son is the last person he has in the world. All the rest of his family have been killed in a terrible accident, and now he risks losing the only person that he has left. This is killer.

“He was in a car crash,” he says as tears ball behind his eyes. “A car crash. Nancy was driving and she isn’t too hurt, but Liam, because he was in the back and he’s so young… he… he… he’s in hospital. He might need surgery and… oh my God, I have to go. I need to be with him.”

“Oh my God, you go,” I insist right away. “Go and be with him. Check that he’s okay. I’m sure that he’s fine, but yeah you go and check on him.” I watch Evan’s eyes glance towards the court house which should be the least of his problems right now. “I’ll deal with everything here. Honestly, don’t you worry about the meeting, I’ll sort it. You have to be with Liam.”

“I know.” He tugs his hair once more. “But I need to be at the meeting, they won’t listen if I’m not there. Plus, there’s all that stuff I need to say. We have a plan, we discussed it…”

This is shock, pure and simple. Evan knows that he needs to be in the hospital with Liam, his brain is just freaking out. He probably can’t process the information about his son. I grab onto his shoulders and try to calm him down by staring deeply into his eyes.

“Evan, you need to get to the hospital, okay? You need to check on Liam. This isn’t as important as him, you do realize that, right? I can take care of everything here.”

“Oh, I know, but my father left me this company and I want to make him proud,” he babbles desperately. “That’s why I’ve worked as hard as I have to keep it going, that’s why I pushed too hard, that’s why I screwed things up. I can’t lose the company because it’s the only legacy that I have of his. It’s important… but I also know that he would want me to be a good father, he was a good father to me. He would want me to be with my son, wouldn’t he?” He looks up and stares at me with nothing but question in his eyes. “He would want me to be with him, wouldn’t he? Don’t you think?”

“Of course, he would,” I insist. “You have to go. Liam needs you. I will get everything out of the car and I’ll take control of things. I will do what I can at the meeting to protect your father’s legacy okay. You can trust me. You go and make sure that Liam is alright. Your boy needs you.”

Finally, Evan nods and I drag him towards the car to make him go. He needs me to push him and to take control for once and I’m more than willing to do it. I’m willing to be whatever he needs.

“Will you promise me that you’ll drive carefully?” I ask as I push him inside. “Don’t go too fast because you’re desperate to be there. You don’t want to have an accident too.”

“Right,” he rasps back. “Of course. No, I won’t. And will you let me know what’s happened once you come out? If I don’t answer my phone it’s because I’m busy but just… leave me a message..”

“Of course, I will.” I touch his cheek for just a second so he’ll know that he can trust me. Evan gives me an emotional, barely readable look which is understandable since his child is at risk. I just desperately hope that everything with Liam is okay. “You don’t have to worry about a thing.”

My heart sinks as I watch the dirt kick up from the back wheels of Evan’s car. There’s no way he’s going to drive sensibly to the hospital. If I didn’t have this meeting to get to, I would have driven him to the hospital, but I know that Evan needs me here most of all. He can’t do both, he can’t split himself into two, so the most useful place that he can be is here.

I pace outside the court house for a moment, wishing I had someone I could call right now to speak to about this. I suppose I could talk to Robyn, but this is all a bit delicate. It’s Evan’s private life and I really shouldn’t share. Plus, I feel like I’ve put a lot on Robyn, I don’t want to call her with bad news. I can’t wait to tell her about my new life plan, but now isn’t the time for that.

I sigh deeply, deciding that it’s time to just face the music and get on with it. I might as well go and wait inside until the meeting begins. I’m already in a bit of a bad position, tackling things without my client. I don’t want to add being late to the list as well. Evan was right to worry, they won’t like the fact that he hasn’t turned up, but I’m hoping that once I explain the extenuating circumstances, they’ll just get it and everything will be fine. I don’t have too much hope, banks aren’t exactly known for being big hearted, but I have to try. I have to give it my best shot. I promised Evan.

As my feet move up the big steps, my head is all over the place. I’m definitely not as centered as I usually am when I face a case like this, but I can’t help myself. I like Liam, he’s a great kid, he doesn’t deserve to be in an accident which has put him in hospital. Evan doesn’t deserve this either, he doesn’t need another car accident in his life, it just isn’t fair. I don’t understand why he’s being punished. It isn’t right, he’s a good person with a kind heart, this is just horrible.

The idea that he’s about to find Liam in some sickly, damaged condition makes my heart bleed for him. Even for me the thought of that sweet little lad in a white, faceless bed with tubes attached to his body breaks my heart, so I dread to think how Evan is feeling.

I don’t even get a chance to sit down in the waiting room once I get inside, it seems more time has passed than I thought while outside. I get called into the room right away, a lady in a pencil skirt that’s even starker than mine leads me into a small room with a table in the middle of it, and chairs running up either side. On the opposite side to me a selection of business men in suits all glare at me as if I’m dirt beneath their feet, indicating that I need to sit on the other side.

Butterflies flap violently in my stomach, reacting far harsher than during any other case I’ve faced before. I think it’s because it’s for Evan, someone that I really care about, someone who trusts me with their livelihood and I don’t want to mess it up.

“And you are?” one of the men asks me gruffly.

“Oh, I’m Katy Atwater,” I reply shakily. “I’m the lawyer representing Evan Debroils.”

“Hmm, I see. And where is Mr. Debroils?” He peers at me over the top of his glasses, looking at me with sheer disgust. “He does realize that this meeting is happening today, doesn’t he? He is here? He does understand how important all of this is, doesn’t he?”

I shrink in on myself as I answer him because I know he isn’t going to like it. I don’t like taking the wrath for something that’s completely out of my control, but I’ll take a bullet for Evan.

“No, he isn’t here,” I admit. “But that’s because he just got a call from the hospital and his son has been taken in.” I don’t like being so honest, it feels wrong, but it’s the only way that I’m going to make these people understand. “He might be going into surgery so Evan needs to be there.”

One of the men leans across to whisper to the other, as if this is something that actually needs to be discussed. As if it isn’t totally obvious that Evan would be at the hospital. So many arguments and expletives race through my mind, but I clasp my hands together and I wring them impatiently.

Finally, the man who originally spoke to me with a graveness to his tone. “Because of this unprecedented event, we will give two options. Either we have this meet now in the absence of Evan Debroils, or we reschedule.”

I suck in a deep breath, knowing that the second option isn’t really a possible one since all of the plans me and Evan have made need to be set into motion immediately, plus I don’t think Evan will able to deal with this any time soon, depending on what’s happening with Liam, so while that might be the preferable option, it isn’t the one I can stick with. I have to take the hard road.

“I would like to do this today,” I say a little breathily. “I have all the paper work and plans with me. I know what Mr. Debroils wants to say. I will speak on his behalf.”

The men share a glance but then they nod curtly, accepting my decision. I don’t think it’s the one that they want, but that’s tough. I’m taking charge today. I’m in control and there’s nothing they can do about it.

Now I just need to ensure that I get it right…

Chapter Twenty One – Evan

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God…

Sickness swirls in my stomach as I race through the hospital doors at the speed of light. I don’t even know how I made it here to the hospital, I drove in such a blur. I don’t know how my brain managed to get the directions right, but somehow, I’m here ready to help my son with whatever needs to happen. I can barely even stand to think about my poor baby, Liam, all hooked up to machines with wires coming out of him everywhere, it kills me. I’ve been through this too many time already, it just isn’t right. I can almost feel Victoria’s hands clamping down on my shoulders, reminding me that our wedding plans killed her and my mom and dad. That was bad enough, this is too much.

“Liam Debroils,” I shout to the woman sitting behind the reception desk. “I need to know what room he’s in. Liam Debrorils is his name.”

The lady tuts loudly as she brings her eyes off the computer screen to meet mine. I can instantly tell that she thinks I’m just another hysterical person, like the hundreds of others that she has coming through here every single day, she doesn’t immediately understand that this is my whole world on the line here. As her blue eyes pierce my soul, I feel even more panicked and desperate.

“Sir, there is actually a queue of people waiting to speak to me at the moment, so if you want to go to the back of it I can get to you in time. When it’s your turn.”

“In the time it took you to say that you could have just told me where my boy is.” I lean over the counter, trying to see her screen as if the answer is magically going to be on there. “My son has been in a car accident today and I need to be with him. Liam Debroils.”

“Sir, I’m going to have to insist that you get to the back of the queue.”

“Fuck the queue!” I explode. I turn on my heels to look at the few bored looking people waiting in line. “Look, my son has been in a car crash today, my young boy. Do any of you mind if I just the fucking queue so I can find out what room he’s in from this jobs worth here?” None of them answer me right away, they all just look at me shocked, but eventually a woman nods and the others all follow on like sheep. “See? None of them mind now will you tell me where my son is?”

“Evan?” Before I can get my answer, I hear the sad voice of Nancy calling out from behind me. “Oh thank goodness, you’re here. You’re here. Do you want to go to the room?”

I can’t help myself, I’m so freaking wound up I could explode so I flip the bitch woman off as I stalk off. I’m just so pissed that she tried to keep me away from my boy. What sort of person does that? What sort of person sits so high on their horse that they keep a father away from their child?

“I’m so sorry, Evan,” Nancy weeps as we walk. “I was taking him to the play park, Liam was whining that he wanted to go out, and I didn’t hear the car flying across the intersection, I guess it ran a red light or something, I just… I feel so damn horrible, it hurts.”

“Nancy, it’s fine. Honestly, I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt my son.” I can’t really deal with her emotional baggage right now. I don’t think she’s to blame or anything, I just need to focus on Liam and his recovery. “I don’t think it’s your fault, so you can stop worrying.”

She takes me to the room and as soon as I get outside the door I pause for a second. I’ve rushed all this way, but now I don’t know if I’m ready for the sight that’s undoubtedly waiting for me in there. My son, my baby, he’s hurt and I wasn’t there to protect him. This is all my fault if anyone’s and I hate myself for it. I hate myself for being so distant, I should have been a better father in every way.

“The doctor is in there now,” Nancy whispers to me. “I think you need to speak to him.”

I nod slowly and push the door, forcing myself to be brave. Liam needs me to be the father right now that I haven’t always been. I need to push my bullshit aside and look after him. But still it scares the living hell out of me when I see him. My boy looks tiny under the sheets, the hospital bed devours him. I hate it, all I want to do is rip him from the bed to hold him in my arms. I don’t want to be so separate from him anymore. I hate this.

“Oh, you’re here.” A lady in a white coat says from behind me. “And you are the boy’s father, I presume?” I nod rapidly. “Okay great. There are some things that I need to discuss with you.”

“Is my boy going to be okay?” I ask her desperately. “Is Liam going to… to…” I can’t vocalize the end of that sentence because it’s just too hard to say. I can’t say the one word that will tear my chest apart. I can’t even think about losing Liam, it’s just an impossible thought.

“We do need to take him into surgery, which is unfortunate, but it’s the only thing we can do right now to save his life. He must have a blood transfusion.”

“Oh my goodness, take my blood,” I gush instantly. “Take all my blood, whatever he needs just please make him okay again.” I life up my shirt and push my veins out towards her as if that’s going to speed up the process somehow. “Just save him, please…”

“Doctor Smith,” she fills in that last part for me. “And that’s great, but are you the same blood type? What we really need right now is some A plus, that’s what your son is. I have someone scanning the system, but at the moment it doesn’t look like we have any in.”

“Fuck, no I’m O negative. It was my wife that shared the same blood type.” I tug my fingers through my hair which has now turned greasy and tangled because of all the stress that I’ve put on it today. “She’s dead now. She died in a car crash years ago.”

The doctor turns a funny ashen shade as if she doesn’t know what to say to that. It’s fair enough, no one ever does. It’s an awkward topic to discuss, especially now with everything else that’s happening. “I see, well I am sure that we’ll be able to find some at another hospital and we’ll be able to get some driven over. It might take a bit more time, but we’ll do what we can.”

“Will that affect Liam’s chances?” I gasp desperately. “Will he… you know?” The fact that she doesn’t answer me is worrying, I don’t like it at all. “Okay, well I’ll ask Nancy, she might be…”

“The girl that came in with the boy? No, we’ve already checked with her.” The nurse smiles at me in a way that I’m sure is supposed to be reassuring, but it doesn’t work at all. I feel all messed up inside. “I will make it my top priority to sort this out, just sit with your son and try not to worry.”

I watch her as she leaves the room, parting my lips as I scan my brain frantically to find some words to make her stay. I don’t know how comfortable I feel being left in the room on my own with my sick son. I need someone who will be able to care for him if things get crazy… but I don’t say anything quickly enough and soon I’m left by myself.

I turn my head towards Liam with my heart pounding in my mouth. He looks so frail and fragile there, it makes me want to weep. The tears are there behind my eyes but they aren’t coming out just yet. It’s like the tap is stuck and it won’t turn on. I slowly move my feet towards the bed, feeling like I’m floating on air as I move. None of this feels real, it has a real nightmarish quality to it. I blink my eyes a few times, wishing I could wake up, but all of this is so very real.

“Oh, Liam,” I gasp as I fall into the seat next to his bed. “I’m so sorry that this happened to you.” Of course, he doesn’t answer me, he’s blacked out on the bed but I hope he can hear me. I’ve heard that people in comas can still hear their loved ones as they talk, and I hope this is a similar situation. “I’m sorry, I just… I know that I haven’t been the best father in the world, but I want to be better.” I grab his hand and stare at his lifeless body, hating myself even more. “I have been planning for a while to change things around once this court case thing was done anyway, but now I realize more than ever how badly I need to change. I need to be there more for you.”

My head slumps forward and finally a tear falls out. This situation reminds me so much of that dreaded day when I lost all the other people in my family and that memory claws violently at my chest.

“You know, your mom would be really proud of the way that you’ve turned out.” I turn to the one subject that I never discuss with Liam because it’s so damn painful, which is something else that I need to change. I thought that I was doing him a favor by keeping him away from the hurtful topic, but now I can see that I was being selfish. I was doing what I needed. Now I know that’s something else I need to change. I need to keep Victoria’s memory alive within her. “She loved you so much, more than any other mother that I’ve ever known. She doted on you like you were a little china doll or something.” I chuckle awkwardly to myself as I remember Victoria’s bond with Liam. “She would love you now. So damn much. She would be so… so…” The tears come hard and fast. “So…”

I can’t speak anymore, I’m a complete and utter sobbing mess. Yes, Victoria would be proud of Liam but I don’t think she would be me. I don’t think she’d be happy to see me all about work and nothing else. She’s probably haunting me right now, screaming in my ear that I need to be a better person, and I’ve been ignoring her. Carrying on in my own bullshit way.

Please, I beg in my mind, trying everything in the damn pathetic hope that someone might be haunting me. Please, Victoria, let Liam live. Help him. Do whatever the hell you can. Don’t take my boy away from me, please God, I need him. He’s perfect, he deserves to live.

I don’t really believe in ghosts or praying or whatever, but today, with Liam in a bed and tubes everywhere, with his life in the hands of other people, I’m willing to try anything. As the tears stream violently down my cheeks, I lose all control of myself and I lay my weeping head on my son’s body. I need someone to find some A positive blood and quickly. I don’t know how much more of this I can take…

Chapter Twenty Two – Katy

I breathe a deep sigh and collapse against the wall as soon as I leave the meeting room behind me, having come to some sort of agreement. I definitely don’t think that was my best work since I didn’t have Evan with me and my head wasn’t fully in the game, but I’m content with what I’ve achieved. I think it’s the best thing I can get for the time being and I have more time to work on things.

I take the moment with my eyes closed to adjust from ‘meeting mode’ back to reality. I’ve fought so hard, all on my own, and now it’s time to bring myself back down. I know that I need to speak to Evan right away to let him know what’s going on, but I just need time to cool down first. I don’t want to speak to him all frantic and worried when he’s already going through so much.

God, I really hope that Liam is okay, I think as it all comes flooding back. That’s the most important thing here. All of this is nothing compared to that panic.

After a few moments, I collect myself together and I make my way outside. The cool air brushes past my skin and whips my hair around, waking me up a little bit. I wish I had a car since I have all this paper work with me, but I suppose a cab will have to do. I can’t complain that Evan drove me and he had to leave, that just is what it is. Can’t be helped.

I drop what I can to the ground by the side of the building and I tug my cell phone out of my pocket. I hit dial on the first number in my recent call list, which is Evan. It seems that I’ve been calling him a lot recently. I tap my foot on the ground as it rings, internally begging him to pick up. I know he said to leave him a voice mail, but I don’t know how I’ll handle not being able not knowing what’s going on. I need to know what’s happening with Liam, I can’t hack it.

“Hello?” As his stressed voice answers the phone, a little bit of me feels relieved. I don’t know what I would think if he didn’t answer the phone. “Katy?”

“Hi, Evan, I erm… I just wanted to talk to you about the meeting.” I shake my head. What’s the point of talking about that now when there’s so much else to worry about? “It went well, I’ll tell you the details later on. How are things with Liam? Is he okay?”

I bite down on my nail as I wait for him to answer, massively freaking out as I do. He seems to be taking far too long to answer which is horrible, it can only spell bad news. My brain flickers up the most horrific images it can find, almost as if I’m trying to prepare me for what might happen. It makes me sick and anxious, I can barely handle it at all.

Please don’t let this be anything, I beg silently inside my brain. Please let everything be okay.

“He needs a blood transfusion, Katy, and I’m scared,” he finally tells me. “He needs A positive blood and I don’t have that. They can’t seem to find any in the system either. The doctor told me that they might bring some over from another hospital, but it feels like that might take much too long.”

My heart pounds, this sounds serious, but it’s also something that I can help with. “I’m A positive,” I gasp. “I can donate some of my blood. Can I do that? Will they let me? Oh, my God, I need to call a cab right now…” I’m flapping, I can hear myself but I can’t seem to stop. The words are flooding out of my mouth at a million miles an hour. “I need to get to you.”

“Katy, I can’t ask you to do that,” Evan insists, but I can hear a tremor in his voice that means he needs this. “I mean the offer is amazing, but you can’t do this. It won’t be good for you.”

“Evan, I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing this for Liam. Now I have to go because I need to call a cab. I need to get to you as soon as possible.”

I hit the hang up button on the phone despite the fact that I can hear Evan still speaking to me and I search for the nearest cab number. My whole body is shaking all over, I can feel it from my head to my toes, but it feels like it’s a good thing. I want to do this, I need to help. I’m pretty sure I would feel this way no matter what, but the fact that I have such strong feelings for both Liam and Evan really amps up my need. I have the right blood type, it’s like this is after.

I book a cab rapidly and move to the edge of the sidewalk while I wait impatiently for it to arrive. I’m all on edge, but in a really good way, like I can’t wait for this to happen.

***

The nerves don’t kick in until I step out the cab door and I stare up at the hospital. That’s when it all becomes very real. I haven’t spent a lot of time in hospitals, I haven’t had to have check ups or injections, or anything like that. I was never a sickly person, and no one in my family ever was either. I guess this will be the first time that I’ve ever really had to have something serious done.

You can do this, I convince myself as I struggle to keep hold of all the papers I still need to keep. You can do this for Liam, he needs you. I have to be strong, for him.

With that I start making the brave steps towards the hospital doors. My heart still pounds so hard against my rib cage I think it might burst out at any given moment, and my mouth might be so dry I can barely breathe, but I ignore all of that and I keep on moving. I have someone who needs me.

As I get inside I can see a massive queue waiting to speak to the receptionist, but since I don’t know how urgently I’m needed, I don’t bother to stand in it. I move to the front desk and I put on my best, most apologetic smile.

“Excuse me,” I call out to the lady sitting behind a computer screen. “I’m really sorry to interrupt and also to jump the queue, but I’ve just had a call about an urgent blood transfusion that’s needed for a child, and it’s one that I share the right blood type for. I need to get to that room quickly before the doctor starts calling around to other hospitals to get the blood delivered.”

“Oh right, well that’s just wonderful.” Her face lights up. “You are saving us a lot of hard work and money here. What room is it you need?”

“The room of Liam Debroils.” She gives me a funny look as I say this, but I chose to ignore that. “Thank you so much, your help has been invaluable.”

She taps on the computer screen for a few moments. “Your room is two four one. Good luck.”

I give her a grateful nod and say goodbye before I race off down the hallway to find the right room. I drop some papers as I go and they scatter to the ground, so I have to stop and pick them back up again. No matter what’s happening, I need to keep those in my hands. There’s some really private stuff in there.

“Would you like a hand, ma’am?” A handsome doctor smiles at me as he bends down to pick some of the papers for me. He has sandy blond hair, high cheek bones, and nice blue eyes. Maybe once upon a time I would have found him attractive, but now, compared to Evan he’s just bland. Evan has ruined all other men for me! “Looks like you have some really important stuff there.”

“Oh right, yeah.” I’m too distracted to talk to him properly. I can barely think of anything aside from what’s about to happen next. “Thank you for helping me.”

“Are you okay, miss? You look like you’re shaking?” He grabs onto my arm and squeezes. “Are you sick? Do you need help?”

If I was going to be honest, I would tell him that yes, I feel dizzy and freaked out, but I don’t want to get stuck here talking to this doctor. I need to get to Liam, I need to see Evan, I need to help. I can’t get lost in fear and a slightly freaked out brain, I just need to be brave, that’s all.

“I’m fine.” I pull away from him. “Thank you. I have somewhere to be, but thank you for all your help.” I try to clutch the papers to my chest so I don’t make the same mistake again. “Bye.”

With that I turn on my heels and I continue running towards the room. As soon as I reach the door I don’t pause for even a second. I hammer my elbow against it and I push my way inside. There I see Evan slumped over a tiny little Liam stretched across a hospital bed, with his back shaking because of tears. He looks like a broken man which just tears my heart to shreds.

“Evan, I’m here,” I say quietly to him as I put all the paper work on the side. “I’m here to help, let’s get the doctor in so we can do this.”

He turns slowly, and with his red rimmed eyes he looks at me with sheer terror in his eyes. “Oh my God, Katy. Thank God you’re here.” He pushes himself up from his chair and he grabs hold of me to pull me in for a deep, unexpected hug. “Thank God you’re here, Katy. I can’t do it alone. I can’t do this without you.”

As he presses my head into his chest I can hear his terrified heart beat. He’s in an even worse state of panic than me. It makes me wrap my arms tightly around him, to comfort him in any way that I can. I cling to him, I hold him, and as I do I try to keep my tears inside.

“Go and get the doctor,” I hiss to him, needing to get this started now. “I’m here, I’m ready. Let’s get this started. Let’s save Liam.”

I can tell Evan is struggling as he hears my words, but thankfully he doesn’t try to fight me on it. He knows as well as I do that this is Liam’s best shot. Sure, it might leave me shaky for a while, but that’s hardly the worst thing that could happen, is it? The much worse option would happen if I decided not to do this and the hospital couldn’t get any blood sorted.

“You are everything,” he whispers softly to me. “I am so grateful to you.”

With that I push him off me and I point towards the door so he’ll go out to get the doctor. My nerves won’t hold forever and the last thing I want to do is back down now. How awful would that make me? No, I can’t do that.

Once Evan is gone, I move over to Liam’s bed and I stroke his hand sadly.

“Sorry this happened to you, buddy,” I mutter sadly. “This really sucks, Liam. But you need to be a superhero now, and guess what? So, do I.” I wipe a stray tear from my eye. “It’s just a good job that you showed me how the other day when we were playing. I think I can just about do it.” I gasp a couple of times trying to get some air into my lungs. “I can do it for you, buddy. We just need to get through this together.”

Chapter Twenty Three – Evan

I’m all over the place as me and Katy wait for the doctor to finally join us in Liam’s room again. She’s had a blood test and now we’re just waiting for the results to come back from the lab with the go ahead that we can finally do this. I just keep shooting her loving looks, wondering what I did to get so lucky. How did I deserve for someone so amazing to come into my life? I can’t help but wonder if Katy is the answer to all the please I sent to Victoria and God being answered.

“So, tell me more about this meeting,” I ask her quietly. “Since there’s nothing else we can do at the moment until the results come back, you might as well tell me what happened.” I don’t know how much I care at the moment, but I do need something else to talk about. I need something to occupy my brain before I go utterly mad. “Were they horrified that I wasn’t there?”

“I don’t think that they were happy,” Katy admits with a weak smile. “But once I explained the circumstances they came back around and let me represent you alone.”

“You told them?” I gulp back the thick ball of emotion that lodges in my throat at the idea of a load of stiffs in suits knowing my business, but Katy didn’t have any choice, did she? She had to tell them the truth just to get them to hear her out. “How did they take it? What did they say?”

“They understood.” She shrugs at me. “What were you supposed to do? I think even the heartless bankers have family so there must be a little bit of them that gets that we all have a life outside of work, and that sometimes we don’t have any choice. That has to come first.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” I murmur, not entirely convinced that they understood. I’m sure they probably would have just left their children in the hands of the doctors, but that hardly matters. I don’t exactly regret my choice. I’m right where I need to be. “So, how did it go?”

“Well they love the plans.” Her eyes flash with excitement. “They were really keen once I made them fully get how the restructure will turn you into a profitable organization. Once I showed them all the monetary projections they agreed. Well, I mean they made some firm suggestions of their own as I’m sure you’d expect, but yes we sorted it out. It’s all good. You have some time anyway, and that’s the main thing you needed, isn’t it? Time to get yourself organized.”

My heart swells with pride and also something that feels suspiciously like love. Katy has saved my business, she’s brought it back from the brink of despair. Of course, there’s still a lot of hard work to be done, I’m not turning my back on that, but I have hope now. I have a chance.

And not only that. Now Katy is about to save my son as well. She truly is perfect.

“Thank you for that,” I tell her sincerely. “It means so much to me that you would step up and do that for me. I know you didn’t have to, you could have rescheduled…”

“Oh well I didn’t think that you’d be in the right frame of mind for it any time soon so I assumed that I was better just getting in there and doing what I can… I hope I’ve done well for you.”

As she peers up at me under her eyelashes all I want to do is cup my hands around her cheeks. I want to kiss her hard and never stop. I can even feel my body leaning in to make that move for me, despite the fact that it’s probably a little crazy to kiss her in the middle of the hospital in this very tense situation, but before I get the chance to actually connect with her, the door swings open and the doctor reenters the room. Relief floods me as she breaks the magic of the moment. It’s probably a good thing that we didn’t kiss just then, it could have really complicated all of this.

“The blood tests have come back okay,” the doctor tells us both gravely. “I rushed them through so we can get the results quickly, so now we need to get things moving if that’s fine with you, Miss Atwater?” I hold my breath, but I don’t really need to because Katy nods without hesitation. “Perfect. Okay, I shall take you down to the surgery room now and get you prepped, then someone will be up to wheel Liam down. The faster we get moving, the better right now.”

Just before Katy goes along with the doctor, I take her hand in mine and I squeeze it tight. A million thoughts race through my brain as our skin connects and I hope at least some of it goes through to Katy. I want her to know how much she means to me, I want her to know how grateful I am to her, I want her to know that right now I could easily fall head over heels for her…

But before I can really communicate any of that effectively, the doctors swiftly moves from the room and Katy is gone too. It’s just me and Liam left, waiting for the biggest moment of his life so far. I turn to see his fragile little body lying in the bed, with a prayer filling my heart.

“You’re going to be okay,” I tell him softly. “Katy is going to look after you, okay? We’re going to have to say a big thank you to her once all of this is over. She’s been amazing.”

This time as tears fall down my face, they’re filled with utter hope. This might not be as bad as before, we might have a chance this time. I just need to keep on hoping and wishing…

***

I don’t know how much time passes, it could be one hour, it could be twenty, my brain is all over the place while I wait for the results. Two people who hold the utmost importance in my heart are both in surgery and I have absolutely no control over what’s happening. I’m standing out in the hospital hallway feeling utterly useless. I hate it, I want to be doing something to help, I wish they would even let me watch so I feel more involved in what’s going on, but instead I’m stuck out here with no one to talk to and no information whatsoever. I feel like I might explode.

Every single time a doctor walks past me, my heart leaps up into my throat, then sinks when I notice that they aren’t here for me. They must all be able to see it, the way my shoulders hunch up around my ears, then come crashing back down when they don’t want me at all. But I suppose they’re used to this. Frantic family members are what they deal with all day and night long.

I move over to the water machine and grab a tepid glass of liquid in one of those horrible, tiny plastic cups. I don’t even want it really, but I need something to hold in my hands, I need something to do. Plus, I suppose my mouth and throat is dry with terror, so it’ll only help…

“Mr. Debroils?” As a grave voice calls out to me I almost leap into the air in shock. Trust it to be the one second that I’m not looking for a doctor, one comes to find me. “Can you come with me?”

I can glean anything from his voice, or his facial expression which scares me. I don’t know if he’d give me more of a clue if it was bad news or if he wouldn’t want me to break down in front of all these people. Either way my hand shakes so much that the water I’ve just poured into the cup spills over the side and slashes to the ground. The doctor sees this, but does nothing about it.

“Yes,” I whisper while staring at my shoes. “Where are we going?”

She doesn’t give me an answer, she simply turns on her heels and walks off. I follow her in a direction I don’t recognize. It’s a part of the hospital that I don’t think I’ve ever been in before. That freaks me out even more. What if there’s a specific room that’s set up to give bad news in? One with padded walls and tissue boxes everywhere so people call fall apart in private? What if that’s where I’m headed right now? I don’t think I’ll be able to come back from this, this will kill me…

“Your son is in here.” As soon as Liam is mentioned I feel all strange again. I got so wrapped up in the idea that I needed to expect the worst that I almost forgot this could be good news. “He’s coming around now, the transfusion was a success. It might take him a whole to come back around fully, but right now his prospects are good. I would expect a full recovery very soon…”

“He’s okay?” I gush in shock as emotions bulldoze through me. “He’s actually alright? The transfusion worked?” I can’t seem to rap my head around the good news, it’s almost all too much.

“He’s okay.” She pushes the door open. “You can go and see him for yourself right now, but like I said he might seem a bit woozy for a while so don’t expect too much from him…”

I don’t even wait for her to finish talking to me, I push past her and race into the room. Liam looks so much better already, he’s no longer hooked up to millions of machines and he’s much less pale. It’s as if the new blood in his body has caused his pinky color to return. As I take the chair next to him and I grab his tiny hand, relief washes over me as he’s much warmer to the touch now. He feels so much more alive which is incredible. I’m overwhelmed by the idea that my baby is alright.

“Oh my goodness, Liam,” I tell him, my voice thick with emotion. “You have no idea how worried you had me. No idea at all. I’m so glad that you’re okay. It’s just…” I sob a couple of times. “It’s amazing. I’m so lucky.” I notice his eye lids flutter which silences me for just a second, but soon I find some more words that need to be said. “I love you, Liam, so damn much.”

“Dad?” he whispers, but I can tell by the rasp in his voice that every word hurts.

“I’m here, son, don’t you worry.” I clutch his hand to my chest feeling a swell of love as I do. “I’m here for you and I’m not going anywhere. You’re doing so much better now. The doctor says that you’re going to be just fine.”

“N… N…” he struggles to get the next word out, so I lean closer to him, offering him my ear so I can hear him better. The last thing I want to do is make him strain himself. “Nanc…”

“Oh, Nancy!” It hits me what he’s trying to say. Of course, he’s worried about Nancy. She was in the car with him when it happened. “Nancy is actually fine, thanks to the air bag. She had some minor injuries, but she went home to rest a few hours ago. She’s going to be just fine. Katy is here though.” I see a flicker or recognition in his eyes which means he at least remembers Katy. “She helped you to get better, so we’ll have to check on her soon. See if she’s okay.”

As I hold my baby close to me, I am utterly grateful to her for the gift that she’s given me. She’s helped my son and given me a second chance with him. This time, I will not screw it up if it’s the last thing I do.

Chapter Twenty Four – Katy

A grogginess overcomes me as I wake from the deepest sleep that I’ve ever had in my life, I don’t feel like I’ve rested well at all. Maybe I’ve slept for too long, maybe that’s what the problem is. Or maybe I’ve overslept and now I’m going to be late for work…

My heart thunders, ice cold lightening bolts of terror dart through my system, I really can’t be late for work, I hate getting behind. Plus, it’s a really important time at work at the moment. I can’t remember what it is exactly, but I know I’m going through a hump, a busy patch, and once it’s over I’ll finally get my life back and I’ll be able to start doing things again. Then again, I always think that. What is this busy patch? What is so important about it? Why can’t I remember? And most importantly of all, why can I not wake up? I know that I need to, so what’s wrong with me?

I try to prize my eyes open with more effort that I ever remember it taking before, but I don’t quite get there. I open them a slither, but the light is so white and bright that I can’t go the whole way. I must just need a few moments to collect myself before I do. It’s just a shame that it feels like I have a thick fog in there, clouding up every single one of my thoughts.

Right, I need to remember, I decide with a sheer force of determination. That’s the most important thing. Once I remember, I can start piecing the rest of the jigsaw together…

So, the first thing I think of it work, because that’s always the first thing that I think of, but this time I don’t feel like it’s surrounding me, filling up my lungs, and drowning me. I feel like it’s in the distance. Like, I can reach out and touch it if I want to, but I don’t have to. Somehow, without even meaning to, I’ve done the one thing that I’ve never been able to do before and I’ve created some distance between me and work. I have to admit, it feels kinda good. I like to have some distance from that place, it helps me to feel more like me again. That’s someone I haven’t been for a very long time.

Okay, so thinking of work isn’t helping, so there must be something else… a meeting, someone I’m working with, someone important… I rack my brain desperately, but the only image I can concoct is one of me facing a group of men in suits sitting at a long table. That’s every day stuff for me, there isn’t anything special about it. It does feel different though, but I can’t work out why.

Maybe Robyn then? Maybe she holds the key. I recall chatting to her on the phone, but we had a conversation where she didn’t sound disappointed in her. It’s almost like there was a time in our recent friendship where I didn’t let her down… something that I didn’t think would ever happen!

One sentence that she said to me really sticks out in my mind: “That’s amazing. I’m so happy for you. Is that what’s brought about this change? If so, then my God I’m happy and I cannot wait to meet this guy.” I can remember it clear as day, as if she’s speaking it to me now but I don’t know what it means. What change? And what guy? The only guy that I’ve taken a liking to in as long as I can remember is Guy and it certainly can’t be him. Robyn would never want me to end up with another lawyer, she would kill me for even thinking about it. Another workaholic wouldn’t do me any good…

Wait! All of a sudden, something hits me from the left field, something that’s definitely another memory, but it doesn’t seem real somehow. I know it is, but I also can’t see how it would be something that would happen to me. I can remember talking to Guy, and him almost scolding me for not taking the partner position – which is something that I’ve wanted forever more – and then telling me the amazing news that he’s single… but for some reason I didn’t care. I wasn’t interested that he was single. It’s weird to see myself getting everything I’ve ever wanted and not wanting anymore. There has been a change within me, but I don’t know what it is. Maybe that’s why my brain is so foggy and messed up, I’ve gone through a crazy personality transplant and I don’t know who I am anymore.

Who am I? What happened to me? What made me walk away from everything that’s ever made me who I am? All that I’ve worked towards… why would I throw that away?

Then a face infiltrates my brain… actually two faces. One of a gorgeous male who’s looking at me with such adoration in my eyes. He makes me feel special and loved, he warms me up and swells heat in my chest, I feel better around him than I ever have done in my whole entire life. And then there’s his son, the adorable little boy with no mother who was so damn excited to play with me, who included me in his life even though it seems like he doesn’t do that easily, who wanted me around when he really didn’t have to. Evan and Liam, the two most important guys to me.

Evan and Liam Debroils. The Debroils men who’ve turned everything upside down.

As I think about their names, all of it comes flooding back; the time spent working together, the undeniable magnetic attraction that pulled us in together despite the fact that we knew it was wrong, the meeting, the accident, the phone call, the hospital, the blood transfusion…

I’m in hospital, I realize excitedly. Of course, I am. I’m helping Liam to recover from his car accident, I just hope that it’s worked. I need him to be okay now.

With that, I finally manage to pry my eyes open and I let the light flood into my eyes. It’s still much too white, but somehow, I can tolerate it more now, it doesn’t feel like I’m going to end up blind. Maybe it’s because I know that it’s a hospital now, so the whiteness makes sense. Hospitals are always crazy clean and filled with clinical colors, probably so you don’t forget where you are like I just did.

“Katy?” When I first hear Evan’s soft voice I think I must still be half dreaming. Maybe I’m on meds that haven’t quite shaken off yet, but then his face comes into view, and despite the fact that he looks a little bit like an angel, something in my heart tells me that he’s real. “Katy, are you okay?”

“I think so,” I rasp back through a jaggedly raw throat. “Water, please.”

As Evan moves over to the other side of the room, presumably to get me some water, I push myself into more of a sitting potion. It isn’t easy because my body aches and my arms feel incredibly weak, but I do what I can through all of that. My inner strength comes from the idea of seeing Evan again and finding out what’s happened. He hasn’t said anything about Liam yet and I need to know. I don’t suppose these things are guaranteed. I hope he hasn’t been silent because it’s not good news.

Finally, Evan hands me a glass and I suck back the cool liquid like I’ve been stranded in the desert for ages and I’ve finally stumbled across my life saving oasis. As it slides down my throat I start to feel a little better. But I still need my answers, and Evan doesn’t seem to be giving anything away.

“How’s Liam?” I gasp at him. “Has he come back around yet?”

I hunch up my shoulders and brace myself, but then Evan’s face bursts into a big, beaming smile. “He’s good.” Oh thank God! I can finally relax once I know that the worst hasn’t happened. “He’s actually here, I asked the doctor to wheel you both in the same room so I can watch you both. I didn’t want to leave either of you alone.” I try to twist myself around to see Liam, but it hurts too much to do so. “Oh don’t worry, you can’t see him from where you are anyway. He’s above your head. Plus, he’s sleeping right now, I think he’s pretty shattered. He needs his rest, I’m sure you get it.”

“Understandable,” I reply with a smile. “It’s been a long day for him.”

“I know.” Finally, Evan moves closer to my bed so I can feel the heat emanating off his body. There’s something so relaxing about feeling Evan’s presence, he really calms me down. “And I just want to say thank you to you again for doing this for him. It’s so kind of you.”

“Oh, I don’t need your thanks,” I reply with a blush. “Of course, I helped Liam. He needed me.”

“I know, you say that like it’s obvious but I don’t think everyone would have helped him without hesitation like you did. You did an incredible thing. You are an amazing person.”

A weird air swirls around us and I don’t quite know what it means. Admittedly all my faculties aren’t intact since I’m still a bit woozy, but even I can tell that something’s happening between me and Evan. Maybe it’s just that incredible bond we share intensifying after we’ve gone through all of these amazing experiences together. The thing with the company, the life changing choices we’ve both made, now this with Liam… it hasn’t all been good, but it’s strengthened what we share.

“I have to tell you something, Katy,” Evan finally says in a voice that’s filled with determination, “I’ve wanted to tell you this for a while now but the timing hasn’t ever been quite right. Well, now it is right, we aren’t going to get a better chance than this.” He grabs onto my hand and stares at me with an intense gaze in his eyes. I wish I could interpret that look, but I just cannot figure it out for the life of me. “Katy Atwater, I love you,” he announces, shocking me to my core. “I know that might come as a surprise and I know you might also think it’s a bit soon which is why I don’t expect you to say it back at all, but I do. So damn much. And I want you to know it.”

“You… love me?” I don’t know what to say to that, it feels a bit much. I’m overwhelmed, my head is swimming. “You’re in love with me?”

“I am,” he smiles warmly. “I knew the moment that you walked into my life that you were going to be different. Before you came along no one ever held my interest for long, and certainly not in any sort of meaningful way. But you… you were different. Right away I couldn’t get you off my mind, and that hasn’t changed since. You’re smart, sweet, generous, wonderful… and I love you. I know it sounds mad, I do, I am aware of how crazy I’m being, but I do. I love you.”

I pause thoughtfully for a moment, trying to wrap my head around it. It isn’t every day that someone falls in love with me. And it’s even better that I feel the same way too. After all this is a man that I’m willing to change up everything for! I’m willing to open my heart, to set aside the life that I thought I wanted but as it turns out I don’t enjoy at all. Of course I feel the same way… now I just need to tell him.

“I love you too, Evan,” I tell him with tears welling up in my eyes. “I love you so much.”

As he embraces me, I can ignore the intense ache in my body because I have love on my side now. I don’t know where me and Evan will go from here but it feels good to know that we have one another. We’re locked in now, and that feels awesome. I’m the luckiest woman alive.

Chapter Twenty Five – Evan

“Right, Liam,” I say to my boy as he looks expectantly up at me. “Do you think you can take this drink through to Katy? Daddy just needs to make a work phone call?”

He blanches at the word ‘work’, but not like he used to. When we first got back from the hospital, every single time I talked about the office I could see a panicked look cross his face, like he assumed things would go back to how they once were with me not around very much, which I suppose is understandable. I don’t much like seeing the negative affect that I’ve had on him over the years, but at least I know now that I can change it. The more that time passes, the more Liam is getting that I’m not going to go back to the workaholic I once was. I hope he’ll eventually learn to trust me.

“I just need to speak to one of my colleagues, it won’t take long I promise you. Then we can read the book you like, the one about the knight if you want?”

As he runs off cheering, it hits me once more how I’ve finally worked out a way to have it all. Now, I can have the business and continue on with my father’s legacy – in a way that’s much more like his original business model anyway – and I can have my family life too. I can be there for my son, just by taking a step back and letting things run for me. This is how I always should have done it, I can see that now. I’m just glad that it isn’t too late.

With a smirk, I grab my cell phone from my pocket and I hit dial on Archie’s number. He’s the highly recommended consultant that I’ve called in to sort out the company restructure while I take care of Katy and my boy, and I have to say that I’m pleased about it. He’s done some great work so far. The two people that I’ve been forced to let go because there just wasn’t a new position in the company are now happily placed in a finance firm. I’m sure there will be more redundancies, but I’m much more confident now that I can make them work out for everyone.

“Hey, Evan, how are you?” Archie sounds busy, I can hear it in his voice. “Just taking care of the marketing department at the moment. As always you’ll have a report by the end of the day.”

“Oh, I know. I trust you, Archie,” I reassure him. “That isn’t why I’m calling…”

“I know, I know, you’re a control freak,” he laughs back. “I’ve worked that out by now. That’s why my reports to you are much more detailed than I usually do for anyone else.”

“Well I’m grateful to you for that, I’m sorry. I don’t want to be a pain. It’s just a little hard to let go when I’ve been so involved up until this point…”

I can hear Ally giggling in the background which makes me smile. She’s already told me that she and Archie are slowly starting to become something real which is fine by me. Ironically, she also told me that nothing’s happening on work time so I don’t need to worry about it getting in the way of things. To be fair, I’m glad to know that, I’m well aware of how much time me and Ally wasted fucking around, but it wouldn’t be right of me to kick off about it. I’m glad that she’s found someone to make her happy though, she deserves it. Despite the fact that me and her were never going to become anything real and we both knew that, I’m glad she isn’t hurt.

“I know it isn’t easy, but as I think I’ve shown by now you can trust me. Things are going really well. We’re getting things moving much faster than I even anticipated, and not just here but with the other offices too. The merger’s gone well, and the one we had to shut down is okay now… it’s all good. You can let the reigns loosen just a little bit.”

I chuckle at his remarks knowing that he’s right. “Okay, well like I say every single time I call you, let me know if you need anything. I have my cell phone on me all the time so you can just give me a ring whenever. Any questions, any problems, any of it…”

“I know, and I’ll speak to you later, okay?”

“Yep, bye, Archie.”

As I hang up the phone, I let out a little breath of relief. I am enjoying my time at home, and for me it’s been really good, but at the same time I do worry more than I should. I’m sure, that like with Liam, it’s just going to take some time for me to get more used to this brand new life. I will be fine, everything is going to be okay, I just need to take a moment.

I glance towards the room where Katy is staying, at my insistence of course, I couldn’t let her do all of that for my boy then head back to her own home to recover alone, and I can hear her and Liam talking. They get along even better now than they did before, they have a deep bond that can only come from their shared experience, so I’m more than happy for them to have a bit more time to hang out together. Plus, it gives me the time that I need to check my emails.

Email has been another good thing for me, especially when it comes to arranging meetings with potential investors. It isn’t easy for me to get a big chunk of time to myself to make all the arrangements over the phone, so emails have been great. I scan through them all quickly, firing off replies as I need to, and soon I can shut the phone down and return to ‘family mode’, the happiest place in the world for me. The place where I have always wanted to be.

As I enter the living room and I see Katy lay on the couch where I’ve told her to remain for the time being, I can see that her and Liam have already started to read the book. I don’t mind though, they just look so damn cute together. With Liam climbed up onto her lap and snuggled into her my heart swells with love. I really do love Katy, that hasn’t changed since the hospital. If anything, it gets stronger every single day. I want her around all the damn time.

“How’s the story?” I ask happily. “Is the knight on a kick ass adventure?”

“Dad, you can’t say ‘ass’,” Liam whines. “It isn’t nice.”

Well, it seems that Nancy and the other nannies have taught my son well in my absence, so that’s something. At least I still have them around if I need them, although I guess a lot of them will move on to other jobs now. It doesn’t matter, I’m here and I’m always going to be.

“Sorry, Liam, you’re right. Sometimes you might have to just remind me of stuff like that.”

“How is business?” Katy asks over the top of the book. “All sorted?”

“Archie is on it,” I nod as I tell her. “And how are things with you? Did Harrison and Associates take your resignation well? They must have got the letter by now, right?”

“Oh I would think so,” she nods enthusiastically. “I’ve had endless voice mails telling me that I’m making a mistake. Mostly from Grant though, so I don’t think it means anything. I just think he doesn’t want to lose his buddy in the trenches.”

I don’t get that, it doesn’t make any sense to me. While it would be much wiser for me to keep that opinion to myself I can’t seem to help it. “I thought Grant would get the partner job if you didn’t take it?” She nods in agreement. “So why is he so concerned for you to stay around? Do you think he likes you?” A bitter snake of jealousy coils through my body as I say those words. Of course, other people are going to notice Katy, she’s gorgeous, I don’t know what it is about him that gets to me. Maybe it’s because they have such a long shared history that I can’t compete with. “I think he does.”

“Well it hardly matters even if he does,” Katy laughs. “It isn’t like I’m going to see him again. Plus, I’m really happy being here, with you two.”

“Yeah, Dad, Katy wants to stay with me,” Liam insists, proving to me that he’s much too deep in this. I only have myself to blame for that one. “So, will you stop it? We’re trying to read?”

“Of course, I’m sorry.” I lean back in my chair and silence myself. The bitter thoughts still race through my brain, but I can dull them for now. Katy’s right, she’s here with me. She isn’t with Grant. If she wanted to be I’m sure she could be. She’s chosen me, and it doesn’t seem like she’s going to leave me. “You carry on reading, I won’t interrupt again.”

As Katy launches back into the story, only pausing to answer Liam’s questions, I watch her intently, loving every single second of looking at her. Is it just me or is she especially beautiful today? After I said the L word, I thought I might freak out and regret it, but I haven’t even once. It was right, the moment was the exact right one, and my feelings have only grown.

Eventually, she senses my eyes upon her and she drags her eyes up to look at mine. While they connect, I feel a bolt all the way into my heart. She gets me, and I think that I get her too. I think I have an understanding with her that I’ve never experienced before. We have a deep connection that proves to me soul mates exist more than I ever thought possible.

A lot still needs to happen before me and Katy can be fully settled into just being us. She needs to recover from her surgery, she needs to start her own business, I need to work out mine, but it’s a journey that I’m excited for. I can’t wait to go on it with her.

“I have another book!” Liam jumps up excitedly. “Can I go and get it from my room? Can we read that one?”

“Of course, we can buddy,” Katy agrees and smiles. “You go and get as many books as you like. Since your daddy has told me that I’m not allowed to get up from the couch you might as well bring all your books down to keep me amused.”

“Don’t let Daddy boss you around,” Liam replies with an eye roll. “Just tell him no.”

I burst into laughter as he runs from the room on that sweeping statement, leaving me completely stunned. It seems that my son has noticed me more than I thought.

“He’s got your number,” Katy chuckles. “And the answer too, I need to learn to just say no.”

I push myself off from my seat and scoot over to her. I place my hands on both her cheeks and dip my head down to kiss her. I love being able to do this in a much freer manner now, it’s great not having to worry so much about getting caught. Katy isn’t a lawyer at the moment and she’s not working for me either, so we can just be.

“How come you never say no when I’m about to kiss you?” I murmur. “Now that is a mystery.”

Katy doesn’t answer me, she just tilts her head up to press her lips to mine instead, making my heart explode gleefully. I’m so fucking lucky to have this woman, I am never going to let her go.

Chapter Twenty Six – Katy

I move sleepily through Evan’s home, still feeling a little lost through the endless maze of hallways. I’ve been here for over a week now and I still can’t get used to it. I just have one bedroom in my apartment, and three other rooms; a living room, a kitchen and diner room, and a bathroom. I can’t get lost in my home because I can see the front door wherever I turn. It hardly matters anyway because I’m never normally there. I already had my job at Harrison and Associates when I moved in which meant I’ve always been in the office from early in the morning until late at night.

This seems like much too much house for anyone, but I suppose it’s lovely for Liam. He has plenty of places to run about and play. I’m sure he loves it. Even more now that his dad is around more. I can tell that’s something that he’s always wanted, although I doubt he’s ever said it, and now he’s getting it he seems much happier. It’s lovely to see his face light up when Evan wants to play with him, which luckily is a lot since they’re both making up for lost time.

“Good morning.” Right away I spot Evan sitting at the dining table. Unlike me, who’s enjoying the new found lie ins in the morning, Evan cannot get out of the habit of being an early bird.

“Morning,” he replies with a smile. “How are you doing? You look a lot better this morning.”

“I know, I feel it too,” I admit as I take the seat opposite him. “In fact, I’m a lot better now, I probably should think about heading back to my apartment soon. I don’t want to outstay my welcome.”

If I’m totally honest with myself then I don’t ever want to leave. It isn’t just the house and the luxuries within it that I like, although the large soft bed is incredible, it’s like sleeping on a cloud, I’m just happy spending so much time with Evan and Liam. They’re an awesome pair who light up my days in a way that I didn’t know I needed. I love Liam’s laughter and his thirst for knowledge, plus the way he makes everything so much fun. He’s an adorable boy who I’m going to miss once I leave. And Evan too. I know we’re moving at a crazy quick speed but I really do love him. I just know and that’s enough for me… but I don’t want to push things too rapidly so he gets bored of me. I don’t know if some space will be good for us, Evan might need it. He might want it but he just hasn’t asked for it.

But then his face falls and I start to think that maybe the opposite is true. “You’re going?”

“Well, I don’t know.” I shrug regretfully. My cheeks flame brightly as I talk because of my discomfort. “I suppose I have to eventually, right? I can’t just stay here forever. You invited me to stay until I’m better and now I am… I guess I just don’t want to become a problem.”

“You aren’t a problem,” Evan shoots back in a hard voice. “Not at all. Me and Liam love having you around. It’s like a real home when you’re in it.”

His words coil around my heart and squeeze. I didn’t used to have any respect for my apartment at all, I didn’t care about it because it wasn’t a home to me. It was just a place I came to sleep and occasionally eat take out in between work shifts which I thought was fine because I was a successful career woman who was going somewhere. Now, I know that there’s much more to life than that and it makes me yearn for a home. I wouldn’t need any fancy things or luxuries within it, that isn’t what makes a home to me, it’s the family inside of the walls. The people who love me.

Thinking about having that one day makes my eyes fill with tears. I can’t help myself, I’m on the brink of weeping like a big baby already. “Sorry,” I stutter sadly. “I don’t want to upset anyone…”

“Oh no. Evan reaches across the table to hold my arm. “I don’t want to upset you, if you need to go home, you go. I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay. I just don’t want you to feel like you need to leave either. Me and Liam love having you here and neither of us are in any rush for you to go, so if you want to remain then please do so.”

His eyes are so filled with warmth and love, all I want to do is tumble into them. I just don’t want this moment to be a mistake, something that I look back on later with regret. I don’t want to think ‘oh if I hadn’t stayed and put too much pressure on us, then maybe we would still be together now’. I’m scared, and I think it’s my lack of experience in relationships, and in particular love, that’s holding me back. I want this, my heart wants this so damn badly, but my head is telling me to just be careful.

“You aren’t going!” Liam’s voice suddenly bursts through the moment, making me jump. “No, Katy, you can’t go! Me and Daddy love you here.”

He races to my side and flings his arms around me, effectively making my decision for me. I can’t exactly turn my back on a weeping child now, can I? I can’t break his heart further. He’s already lost so much in his life, I don’t want to take myself away from him too. Yes, I could still come back and visit but I know it won’t be the same. Especially not to him.

I guess I’m just looking for an excuse to remain as well, if I’m totally honest with myself. I don’t want to go when I’m having such a good time. Maybe for other people this would be too quick, but me and Evan have suffered through a lot of hard situations and we’ve come out of it stronger. It feels right for us at the moment and that’s all that matters. I’ll just have to ensure this isn’t something that goes wrong. If I’m conscious of it, then I don’t think it’ll become a moment that I regret.

“Okay, okay,” I laugh. “I won’t go yet, but I might have to at some point, okay?”

“Not today,” he insists, gushing into my arm pit. “Just don’t go today. I want you to stay.”

“Let’s go out for the day,” Evan says as he stands up. “I think we could all use a day out, couldn’t we? Go and do something fun in the city. We’ve all been cooped up for far too long now.”

“Can we go bowling?” Liam asks as he bounces up and down, all his upset long forgotten “And to see a movie? I want to see the new superhero one. I’ve wanted to see it for ages.”

He looks at me with such expectant eyes that I join in too. “Yes, we have to go and see that movie. It’s supposed to be amazing. Really funny. Oscar winning, even,” I tease. “The best yet.”

“Are you talking about the one where the characters are made out of blocks?” Evan asks, clearly not getting the appeal. “Are you serious? You can’t honestly want to go and see that you made that pair.”

Maybe it wouldn’t be my first choice of movie either, but I’m more than happy to do whatever Liam wants. Evan is right, it’ll be fun to get out the house whatever we do or see. I’m easy to go along with absolutely anything. “Of course, we do,” I say loudly. “You’ll love it when you see it, honest!”

“You will, Dad, you will,” Liam joins in while tugging his arm. “Get dressed so we can go.”

And with that, it seems that we’re about to have our very first family day out. It isn’t a position that I ever thought I would find myself in, but that’s okay. Maybe life is about all these unexpected twists and turns that shake things up. I’m certainly not complaining!

***

The movie theater is empty, aside from me, Liam, and Evan, which actually makes it a lot better. Liam sits in the seats in front of us, spreading himself across them and leaping around like a mad man whenever there’s any action on screen, and I can snuggle into Evan. Okay, so the movie might not be a romantic one, but the situation surrounding us certainly is, and I can feel myself falling deeper and deeper with every passing second.

“Thank you for this,” Evan whispers into my ear. “This means a lot to Liam.”

“You know, I think you assume I do these things just because I feel like I should, but that isn’t the case at all. I want to spend time doing the things Liam likes, I really enjoy myself with him.” I watch him bound through the room as he pretends to fly. I let out a little laugh as he thoroughly enjoys himself. I want to do this more often. “He’s a great kid and I have a good time with him.”

Evan grabs my chin with his fingers and he turns me to face him. “That’s what I love about you, you know?” He brushes his lips against mine gently. “You know, ever since Victoria died I haven’t ever even thought about bringing another woman into his life. She died when he was only a baby so he doesn’t remember her, but I didn’t want someone coming in and either resenting him or trying to replace that mother figure for him which I just know would make me uncomfortable, but you haven’t done any of those things. Without even trying you have just become a friend to him, which is amazing. I didn’t even know that it was possible.”

I’m blown away by his words, they’re much too sweet. “Oh wow,” I reply thickly. “That’s really something. I mean I haven’t tried to be anything to Liam, I guess we just click and we get on. I know it must be hard for him not having a mom, and I guess that will get worse when he gets older, but I wouldn’t ever want to be that to him. Just his friend, you know?”

“And that is why you are so perfect.”

As Evan kisses me again, I wonder what I did to get so lucky in life. I really do still feel that way, even now. I’m jobless, I’ve lost out on being partner, I’ve lost Grant which is something that I thought would crush me, but I’m doing incredibly well. All I had to do was take a step back from the hectic career that consumed me wholly and I’ve been given something so much better.

I’m so glad that Evan and Liam didn’t want me to go. If they had I would be sad at home now working myself up into a state of panic about everything. I’d be freaking out about my lack of career, all my confidence about being able to start up a business of my own would be gone, and I would also be panicked about where my relationship stood… instead I’m having a calm and relaxing day, one that’s filled with promise, and I love this version of myself.

“Hey, do you think you can get a babysitter one night?” I ask Evan in the spur of the moment. “I would love you to come and meet my friend at some point.”

“Uh oh, will this be the Spanish Inquisition?” I laugh and nod, with Robyn he might be right about that one. “Okay, fair enough. I don’t see why not. It actually might be fun.”

Chapter Twenty Seven – Evan

It’s been a very long time since I’ve been inside a bar for fun. For work, yes, for business meetings and smoozing, but not just to have a good time. It actually feels a little strange, I don’t know why but I feel a bit out of place. It’s not that I thought I was missing out on a lot by not being out every single night, but now I know for sure that I haven’t been. Being at home with my boy is a much happier place, being with my family in the warmth of my life makes me much happier than this ever could.

‘How is everything?’ I text anxiously to Nancy. She was so keen when I asked her to babysit again, I think she assumed all my new life changes were down to her and the accident. I tried to explain that it was something I’d been planning anyway, but I’m not sure she believed me.

‘All fine, Liam is tucked up in bed,’ she reassures me, which makes me breathe a sigh of relief. I know that I can’t control every aspect of Liam’s life, that will only make him pull away as he gets older, but it’s still hard for me to think of him anywhere except for safe at home. He hasn’t been in a car since, but I’m going to have to let him eventually. I need to find a way to let go of my insecurities.

‘Great, thanks. See you soon! We won’t be late, I promise.’

After I send that final message I tuck my phone away and refocus on the friends that Katy wanted me to meet. There’s Robyn, who from what I understand is Katy’s best friend, the woman who has always been there for her, and her boyfriend Jon. Then there are some other people, but I haven’t been given the chance to learn their names yet because they’re too busy dancing, mingling with other people, and standing at the bar. I don’t think they’re too important to Katy anyway, so I’m not bothered about them. I think she lost a lot of her friends when she dedicated something to her work, which is something I can strongly relate to, so the only people that matter are the ones who stayed.

“You seem very good for Katy,” Robyn tells me quietly as her friend heads to the bathroom. “I’ve seen a real change in her since she met you. She’s much happier and more vibrant.”

I nod happily, knowing what Robyn means. This Katy is nothing like the woman I first met. That Katy was confident in her work, but nothing else. The person we see now seems to understand that she’s actually an important person, which is wonderful. She needs that.

“Well she’s changed me for the better too,” I confide in Robyn. “Before I met Katy I was always very private and closed off. I didn’t know how to open up to anyone about anything. I certainly wasn’t in the right place for a relationship… but then she came along and I just wanted to be better for her. I wanted her to see me in a way that others don’t. She cast a spell over me.”

As Robyn smiles at me, I can see approval there. “Well good, I’m glad. Does that mean I don’t have to give you the standard warning about losing your balls if you hurt my friend?”

“You definitely don’t.” I shake my head rapidly. “I have no intention of ever hurting her.” I pause and bite down on my bottom lip, wondering if this is something I should say. “I love her, you know?” Yes, I decide to just go for it. Katy knows how strong my feelings are, so why shouldn’t her friend? “I really do and I’ll do anything to keep her around.”

“Good.” Robyn pats me on the back. “Well, it looks like you’ve passed the test and I haven’t even really started it yet. Usually when my friends bring around new boyfriends I have a list of questions about their past that I grill them about, and I always thought that when it was Katy I’d be even worse because she needs so much protecting… but with you I don’t think I need to. I feel like you have my friend’s best interests at heart. I feel like you really do care about her.”

I don’t know if this means that Robyn already knows about me losing Victoria or not, but I don’t push it. I don’t want to ruin tonight by talking about all of that anyway. That’s in the past now. It isn’t something that I’ll ever forget, but I don’t want to only exist in that moment either. I want to move forward with the bright new future that I can have with Katy.

“I do, I really do. You don’t have to worry about Katy with me. I can promise you that she’s in good hands. All I want to do is spend every single day making her happy.”

“God, happiness, I don’t think that’s something she’s used to since she’s given so much of herself to that hell hole, so I really hope you can do it.”

At that moment, my cell phone starts ringing in my pocket. It must be Nancy, I’m sure she’s the only person who would call me this late at night which means I need to take the call instantly. Even knowing that Liam is safely tucked up in bed isn’t enough, my panicked brain starts concocting the most horrific images that I can barely deal with.

“I just have to take this,” I tell Robyn regretfully. “I’ll be back in a moment.”

I run from the bar and suck in a couple of deep, cold breaths once I get outside. It’s only when I actually look at the screen of my phone and I see that it’s Barry’s name written across it, that I begin to calm down just a little bit. Of course, it’s Barry, my accountant has no idea of time. He needs to get a life outside of work, honestly!

“Hello, Barry,” I answer wryly. “Is everything okay?”

As soon as he starts talking I can hear an edge to his voice which gets my back up. I don’t know what this is going to be about but I immediately start panicking. “Evan, sorry for ringing you at this time, I just thought you might like to know right away…” The pause is agonizing, it makes me want to scream. “The investor you met with on Friday is very interested in you and your new, restructured business. He wants to be a part of the company.”

“Oh my God.” I reel as I realize what this means. I’m saved, really saved. Now, I can pay back the banks, get out of debt and have some money to move forward with… but in the right way. With Archie’s help now the company is much smaller and more stream lined. Everything is working out even better than I’d hoped. “Barry, that’s incredible news. Thank you for ringing me and letting me know. That’s just…” I rub my forehead in shock. “That’s wonderful.”

“Yes, well you can thank your lawyer friend for that. Also, you might want to consult with her again to get all the paper work drawn up quickly. You’ll want to move fast with this one.”

I glance towards the door of the bar, glad that I can tell her right away. Barry doesn’t know that me and Katy are involved, and he doesn’t have to. He isn’t actually someone that I see on a regular basis, we just talk a lot. He probably wouldn’t be happy about it, but I don’t care because I have everything that I’ve ever wanted and more.

“Yes, I will speak to her about it. Thank you, Barry. Keep me updated.”

As I hang up the phone I do a little fist bump in the air. It wasn’t that long ago that I knew the company was going to be put up for auction. I was going to lose control of the one thing that my father left for me. But now I have even more control than before… just control from a distance which suits me better. This is the next thing that I needed to get all the worries off my chest. I just know that I can make things profitable again, and I can’t wait to get started.

I push the door of the bar open, embracing the warmth as it circles me. Now I actually want a drink, I need it to celebrate, and I’m going to buy all of Katy’s friends one too. This is a moment that I want to commit to memory, and while I might not know these people I want them all the join in with me. If only for this second.

“Is everything alright?” Katy gushes, while grabbing onto me. As I turn to face her I see intense fear in her gaze. It seems that her brain has gone to exactly the same place as mine, which her words confirm. “Robyn said you raced out to answer the phone. It isn’t anything to do with Liam is it?”

“No, not Liam.” I pull her close to me and kiss her. “The business actually. That was Barry, my accountant on the phone. He was just ringing to tell me that one of the investors that I met with last week is really interested, so effectively the business is saved because of you.”

As she blushes I kiss her again. I press my lips hard into hers and allow all the love to flow from me. Her plump mouth is all wet and warm which sparks up an intense fire in my belly, but that’s one I won’t be able to satisfy for now. I’ll have to hold myself back until we get home later on.

“There’s something else that I want to speak to you about,” I tell her quietly. This isn’t the way that I ideally wanted to have this conversation, I would much prefer to do it in a much more romantic way, but for some strange reason, this just feels right. “I want to know if you will move in with me properly? I’ve spoken to Liam about it, and we both want you to live with us properly.”

Her eyes widen in shock. “Are you serious?”

“Of course, I’m serious,” I chuckle. “I wouldn’t ask you otherwise, would I? And I don’t want you to think that this is just a spur of the moment thing, this is something that I’ve thought about a lot and I’ve had lots of conversations with Liam about. He really does want you around forever.”

I can see the thoughts racing through her brain so I remain silent while she really thinks this through. It won’t make much difference, since we’re pretty much living together anyway, but this will make it official which I know makes it heavier. I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, whereas I’ve just sprung this on Katy. It makes sense that she needs a couple of moments.

“I would love that,” she replies cautiously. “But you know that would mean moving all my stuff in too?”

“I do get that concept!” I exclaim in mock horror. “But to be honest I’ve been to your apartment and most of it is take out cartons anyway. I think we can chuck most of it out… but move in whatever you want. I want it to be your home as well. It needs a feminine touch.”

“Oh wow, that’s amazing.”

“Is that a yes?” I command. “You haven’t given me a straight answer yet.”

“Of course, it’s a yes.”

I grab her and spin her around before dipping her downwards and kissing her hard.

“I think we have a lot to celebrate then, let’s go and get some drinks in!”

Chapter Twenty Eight – Katy

As we crash through the door to Evan’s – and now mine, I suppose – home, we giggle excitedly like crazy teenagers. Maybe we’ve gone a tiny bit overboard on the bubbly tonight, but that’s because we have so much to celebrate. Things moving forward with me and Evan, the business working out, Liam getting better, it’s all just so wonderful. Of course, we’re giddy, it’d be mad if we weren’t.

“Nancy!” Evan calls a little drunkenly through the house. “Nancy, are you there?”

“I’m here.” The girl that I only vaguely recall seeing for maybe a second at the hospital flies out into the hallway, with her dark hair spilling behind her back. “How was your night?” She looks at us both with a bright smile. “It looks like you’ve had a lot of fun, which is awesome!”

My shining eyes probably betray just how happy I’m feeling inside. I can hardly contain myself. I cling to Evan’s arm possessively because I never want to let him go. He’s mine now, and I love that he’s mine. I’m not trying to keep anyone away from him, I just want the world to know he belongs to me. I haven’t really ever had anyone that’s mine before and I like how it feels.

“We had such a good night,” I declare gleefully. “Thank you so much for having Liam.”

“Yeah, how was Liam? Did he give you any trouble getting to bed?”

Nancy gives Liam a look. “You’re acting like I haven’t been putting him to bed forever!”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” He shakes his head and rubs his eyes. “I’m just… I don’t know a little crazy at the moment. It’s like I’m obsessed with everything that he does.”

“I know you are and that’s understandable.” Nancy’s lips purse into a tight line, I get the impression that she’s still having a lot of guilt over the car accident which clearly wasn’t her fault. I understand why she feels bad, it’s worse with Evan than anyone else, but I wish I could take that guilt from her. It isn’t fair for her to feel it. “But Liam is a good kid, you don’t have to worry so much.”

I wander into the living room as Evan sorts out Nancy’s payment for the night and I think about actually living here for real. I mean, it won’t be much different since I haven’t left much since my time at the hospital, and over time most of my stuff has migrated over to Evan’s home, but this will be official. I won’t have anywhere to escape to if things go wrong… not that I can see that happening. It’s just lucky that I don’t have any emotional attachment to my apartment at all, so it isn’t going to be any sort of upheaval. I’ve done a lot more living at Evan’s house anyway. I think I’d be much less inclined to ever leave here. That would hurt me, then I think I’d be upset.

I fall onto the couch and stare up at the ceiling with a smirk playing on my lips. I feel like the cat who got the cream, and as I hear the sound of the front door closing behind Nancy, that sensation intensifies. Me and Evan have been heavily flirting all night long and it’s churned all kinds of things up in me. I just know that I’m in for a good night and this will be even better because now me and Evan love one another and we’re moving in together. It’s solid, set in stone.

“Hey there, gorgeous.” My eyes fly open as I hear Evan’s delicious voice. “Looking good.”

“Oh yeah?” I move up from the couch and start walking towards Evan with a sway in my hip. The burning in my loins intensifies and screams out for attention. “Well I have to say that you’re looking good too.” I reach forward and grab the sides of his jacket, yanking him towards me. “Very handsome, I’ve been waiting to get my hands on you all night long.”

I pull him towards me and kiss him hard. My arms loop around his neck and I hold him in place as I dart my tongue between his lips. A groan rumbles in the back of my throat and bursts into his mouth which causes Evan to wrap his arms around me. With his hands on the small of my back everything burns brighter. I need him, I feel like if I don’t have him I’ll die.

“Shall we go up to your bedroom?” I ask him quietly, but the desperation is evident.

“Oh my God, yes. But it isn’t my bedroom. It’s our bedroom now. Don’t you forget that.”

“Of course.” I slap my forehead in mock horror. “Sorry, that’s going to take some time getting used to. Do you want to take me to our bedroom?” The words cause a shiver to tear up and down my spine. “Yep, our bedroom. I have to admit I like that a whole lot more.”

“Then yes, I will take you to our bedroom, you sexy little minx.”

He takes my hand and tugs me towards the stairs, and as we go my heart flutters in my chest. The butterflies flap violently in my stomach and it feels so good. I tiptoe up the steps behind Evan, feeling all sexy and feminine as I go. I love the way I feel with Evan, it’s so much fun. I feel like I’m a flower blossoming into life, I feel like I’m becoming the person I was always supposed to be.

Once we reach the top of the stairs, Evan yanks my arm and pulls me around to him, flattening me against his thick, muscular chest. The feel of his abs against my skin causes a red hot flush to run all over me. His strong body reminds me that now he wants to take care of me, and I like that a lot. No one has ever wanted to take care of me before, and I surprisingly like it more than I thought I would.

“You are so beautiful,” Evan comments idly. “And I love you so much.”

Ooh those words, I love hearing them so damn much. They encase me in a deep warmth that is like no other. “I love you too,” I reply in a whisper. “I love you, Evan Debroils.”

With that we continue moving into the bedroom, kissing frantically all the way. The pretty party dress that I put on before mine and Evan’s big night out whips up over my head, and I tear Evan’s shirt off and tug his trousers down. By the time, we actually get to the bed we’re both panting desperately, only in our underwear. I have a black silky bra and panties set on that I purchased especially because I like the way that it offsets my milky skin, and Evan has some sexy, tight, navy blue boxers. The way that the moonlight glistens through the window reflects off his body wonderfully.

“My God, I’m lucky,” Evan gasps as he moves back to me. “So, fucking lucky.”

His arms swoop around me and he throws me back onto the bed. As he climbs onto the bed and he hovers over me, I feel myself writhe with a sheer deep thrill. Sometimes this thing I have with Evan feels completely normal, and sometimes it takes me by surprise that someone so gorgeous could be attracted to me. I still think of myself as the plain, washed out lawyer who doesn’t deserve any eyes looking at me. It’s hard to get myself out of that mindset.

Evan’s lips crash down onto my body, all over my cheeks and down towards my neck. While he kisses my collar bone he reaches behind my back to unhook my bra. It’s strapless, so it flies from my body easily, revealing my rock hard nipples that are crying out for attention. Luckily Evan can see that they need attention, because he moves his mouth over one, taking it between his lips and sucking hard, and he grabs my other breast with his other and he flicks his thumb all over it.

“Oh shit,” I groan while rolling my hips into him. I can feel his thick erection in his underwear waiting for me, and I want more of it. He feels so good. “Oh, Evan.”

As he pulls his mouth off of me, I push myself into a sitting position, then I flip Evan over until he’s lying on his back. While he’s still wide eyed and in shock, I run my fingers along the waistband of his pants, taunting him with what’s going to happen next. As he groans and writhes, I run my tongue along my top lip. Then, just as his hips buck towards me, I dip my hand in and I grip tightly onto his shaft, gasping with excitement as I do.

“Oh fuck, Katy, you are a fucking expert with your hand.”

I don’t know if that’s true, but it spurs me on. I run my hand from the base to the tip, trying to touch every inch of him. The lust filled expression on his face kills me, it’s almost too much. It makes me wetter and hotter than ever before. It’s almost hotter than if he was touching me…

I can’t stand it anymore, I need him. I don’t even think about it, I just pull my panties to one side and I straddle Evan. I slide down over his cock, absolutely loving the sensation of him being inside of me. I don’t even stop to worry about protection, it doesn’t even cross my mind. I’m too busy gripping onto Evan’s hips and riding him like there’s no tomorrow.

The pressure starts in my toes and tingles through all my veins until it reaches my chest. I can hear myself moaning and groaning, crying out in sheer bliss. I probably should calm down a little bit, I’m getting out of hand but I’m just having the best time of my life. Sex with Evan is phenomenal, I never want it to it… which is why it crushes me when Evan pulls out just as I feel myself on the brink of exploding.

“Come with me,” Evan growls, taking my hand. “I want to show you the view.”

I’m admittedly confused, but judging by the heavy lidded look that Evan is giving me I feel sure that it’s a plan so I agree to it and follow me. I stand naked in front of Evan’s window, glancing down at his garden below. Evan positions himself behind me and he pushes me forward slightly until my hands are pressed up against the cold glass. The heat of them makes a print.

Once in that position, Evan slowly and tantalizingly pulls my panties down. Once they hit the floor I kick them away and I spread my legs apart for him. Evan angles himself and thrusts himself back into me, knocking the wind from my body completely. Then once he settles himself into a steady rhythm he moves one of his hands around to the front of me and he flicks my clit rapidly.

“Oh my God,” I grunt as he sends me back to the heavenly place I was only moments before. “Evan, you are just too much.”

My whole body vibrates with lust, it’s as if Evan is absolutely everywhere. My head spins, the bliss grows, and Evan just keeps on thrusting, driving himself in deeper and deeper.

“Evan,” I gasp as the pleasure shatters through my body, whipping my breath away clean from my body. “Oh my God, Evan.”

The bliss shatters me, I can barely hold myself upright. It’s only Evan’s hands fixed around my waist that’s keeping me standing. He’s holding me through the pleasure, supporting me, loving me with everything that he has. As the orgasm tears through me, I feel so close to him, and I love that.

Chapter Twenty Nine – Evan

“How are you doing, son?” I ask Liam while I ruffle his hair. “Are you enjoying the day?”

“Yeah, I am, Daddy, but I wish Katy was here.” He pouts out his lip and crosses his arms over his chest in a stubborn gesture. “I don’t like having my birthday party without her.”

“I know, I know, but you had all your friends around, and that was fun, right? We had those trampolines. You certainly looked like you were enjoying that, and you still have birthday cake all around your mouth.” I wipe his lips. “You’re all covered in chocolate. And you love your new bike.”

“Yeah I do. Thank you, Daddy, but I miss Katy.”

It makes me laugh how much Liam loves Katy. He really does adore him. He does have his friends, but I think she might be his best friend ever. That hasn’t changed at all in the six months she’s been living in our home. If anything, their bond has gotten deeper.

“You know that Katy would have loved to be here but she had a meeting that she couldn’t miss. It’s all linked to her brand new business so it’s all very exciting…”

“She’s not going to start being at work all the time, is she?”

“No, no.” I hold Liam’s shoulders so he’ll look at me as I answer this. “The reason that she’s starting her own business is so she doesn’t have to work all the time. It might take a little while to get it all set up, but once she’s done it’ll all be good. I promise that you’ll see her all the time. And don’t forget we’re having our birthday dinner for you in a moment.”

“Will she have a present for me?” Liam’s eyes lit up as the thought of more toys cheered him right back up again. “Do you think she will? Did she say that she will?”

“I’m sure she does.” I ruffle his hair again. I don’t seem to be able to stop myself from doing that. “But don’t forget that we have a present for her too. Are you still up for doing that?”

I bring the small box out of my pocket and I show it to Liam meaningfully. We’ve been talking about this for weeks so I know he’s aware of what I’m on about. He’s always spoken so positively about it, I just hope now he doesn’t change his mind. The only thing that will stop me from going ahead with this is Liam. I’m pretty sure he’s happy, but I need to be certain.

“I remember.” He nods slowly. “You’re going to ask Katy to marry you. Then you’ll have a big, white wedding. And then… and then she’ll be my new mommy.”

That causes my breath to catch in my throat. I wasn’t expecting him to say that at all. “Oh, right well I don’t know about that. You do already have a mommy.”

“But my mommy is in heaven.” I do feel much better that he knows more about Victoria now. It makes things much easier, but it hurts me still every time we have to talk about it. Liam takes it all with so much maturity, but it isn’t fair. He doesn’t deserve this. “And everyone else has a mommy. I want a new mommy for my birthday.”

I don’t know how Katy will feel about that, but considering how well she’s handled everything so far, I’m sure she won’t mind. “Oh well, she will be like your mommy because she’s married to your daddy.” I’m trying to handle this as tactfully as you can. “But you’ll have to talk to Katy about what you want to call her, okay? That’s up to you and her.”

“Oh well, Katy won’t mind. Me and her have such fun. She will like it.”

I smile, knowing that he’s right. I’m sure she will but I don’t want to put words in Katy’s mouth. What happens between her and Liam is between them.

“Right.” I clap my hands together, snapping into action. “Shall we get the party tidied and get dinner sorted? Of course, you don’t have to do anything since you’re the birthday boy, but someone needs to. So why don’t you go and watch TV while I get everything set up?”

“No, no, no, I want to help! Let me help you sort it out. I want to. I want to do it for Katy.”

Sometimes my boy blows me away with his attitude, at moments such as this. He’s such a brilliant child, I’m so glad that I know him now. There’s been so much that I’ve missed out on, but I won’t ever make that mistake again. Now I’m fully on board with this parenting thing.

“Okay, Liam. You are an awesome kid. Let’s do this.”

***

“Was that her?” Liam whispers secretively to me. “Was that Katy?”

“You don’t have to be quiet,” I chuckle. “We aren’t doing this as a surprise. Or are we? Actually, that might be a good idea.” I cock my head thoughtfully. “Actually, yeah let’s do it. Let’s hide.”

Liam dives behind the couch and I join him, giggling madly. It hasn’t escaped my attention that I’m completely the opposite man that I used to be. I used to be all bravado, making business deals and caring only about the office, all the while everything was slipping through my fingers, having meaningless sex with my PA. Now, I’m laughing like a loon with my boy, waiting for the woman that I love, with a big diamond ring in my pocket. What a turn around of events.

“Yep, that’s her,” Liam whispers loudly to me as the door swings open. “She’s coming.”

“Let me know when you’re ready to jump up, will you?” I reply. “Say the word.”

“Hello?” Katy calls through the house. “Is anyone there? Hello?” We can hear her moving through the rooms. She’s probably wondering what the hell happened at Liam’s party and why we’re suddenly nowhere to be found. I feel a bit mean since I know how much she wanted to come to the party, but I’m sure she’ll forgive me by the end of the night. “Hello? Liam? Evan?”

“Let’s go now,” Liam whispers. We both leap up rapidly and yell “surprise!”

“Oh my God.” Katy clutches her hand to her chest in shock, dropping all her papers as she does. “You scared me there, guys. Are you two completely mad?”

Luckily she’s laughing, and as Liam wraps his arms around her, her face completely melts. I shoot her an apologetic look but she doesn’t seem to need it.

“So how did your meeting go?” I ask her over Liam’s head. “Was it positive?”

“It was, really positive. I mean it was awesome, I’m really happy about it.” She blows out a deep and weary breath. “So, I mean I’ll tell you all about it in the morning I think. Right now, I just want a drink. Oh!” She reaches into her bag and pulls out a nicely wrapped gift. “I suppose I better give this to the birthday boy as well.”

Liam screeches with excitement and he takes the gift from her, unwrapping it at the speed of light. He quickly finds another superhero toy in there which of course fills him with utter excitement. He races around the room with it in his hand making it zoom.

“I think he likes it,” I say while hooking my arm around Katy’s waist and pulling her in for a kiss. “Good choice by the way. Oh, and we have a dinner for you. A birthday dinner that’s waiting in the dining room.”

“Oh, that sounds lovely, I’m starving.” She rubs her stomach happily. “And it smells home cooked. What is it?”

I don’t answer her, I just take her hand and lead her into the kitchen. Liam has scattered rose petals all over the floor, in a bit of a haphazard way, and there are champagne flutes on the table, one with apple juice in for Liam, and candles lit. The food is there too, but that’s the least important bit.

“Oh my goodness, this is lovely.” Katy furrows her eyebrows in obvious confusion. “Am I forgetting something? Is it like an anniversary or something? If so I’m sorry. I’ve just been so…”

“It’s not an anniversary.” I glance towards Liam and I can see that he’s bursting with the news. I know that if I don’t do it now he’ll end up ruining the surprise for me, so I tug the ring box out of my pocket and I fall to one knee on the floor in front of Katy. “But I might be about to make it one.”

“What are you doing? She gushes while clapping her hands across her mouth. “Oh my goodness. Evan, what are you…?” She glances to Liam. “What is happening here?”

“Katy.” I need to bring her attention back to me at the moment before Liam says anything. “I want you to know how much I love you. You’ve done more for me than I could have ever asked anyone to do and you’ve made me fall in love with you more and more each day as you have. I honestly don’t know what I would do without you now…”

I can’t stop him anymore. Liam jumps in, but actually it comes at a good time as the lump in my throat balls up and thickens. “My daddy wants to marry you,” he declares. “He wants you to be my new mommy.”

I freeze for a moment, wondering if that’s going to be too much, but Katy’s face breaks out into a bright, happy grin. “Oh my goodness, Liam, are you serious? You want me to be your mommy? I want to be whatever you want me to be. If you want me to be Mom, then that’s what I’ll be.”

As they embrace, I almost chuckle to myself. It’s so typical of my new family that Katy and Liam would celebrate this before me, but that’s fine. That’s even better than I ever could have hoped for. The fact that they are so adoring of one another is wonderful, it makes my heart swell with absolutely pride and happiness. All the jigsaw pieces of my life have finally come together.

Soon though, Katy drags herself away from Liam and she looks up at me. “So are you going to ask me?” she whispers. “Or are you going to just let Liam do it for you?”

“Oh no, I want to ask you. I definitely want to ask you.” I prize open the ring box and grin up at her. “Katy Atwater, I love you very much. Would you do me the absolute honor of making me the happiest man alive and becoming my wife.”

She glances into the box, looking at the princess cut diamond I picked out especially for her and she gasps happily. “Oh, my goodness! Of course, I will be your wife. I couldn’t think of anything I would like better than to be Mrs. Debroils.”

“Famous lawyer, Mrs. Debroils.” I chuckle. “Or at least the famous lawyer who somehow manages to have a life as well.”

As she embraces me and falls into my chest, I want to yell with glee. I’ve wanted to propose to Katy for a very long time but I’ve been holding myself back so I don’t act out too soon. Maybe it’s still a bit quick but I don’t give a shit. Me and Katy aren’t living our lives for other people, we’re doing this for us, to make us happy.

“Can we eat now?” Liam calls out, breaking the magic of the moment. “I’m so hungry.”

“Yeah me too,” Katy agrees. “And this all looks so amazing. You guys must have worked very hard on it.”

“Oh we did,” Liam nods as he declares happily. “We did it all for you… Mom.”

Hearing Liam call Katy Mom and seeing her happy reaction makes all of this feel even better. It’s scary, but in a great way. I absolutely love this journey.

Epilogue – Katy

Eighteen months later…

“Mom!” Liam calls loudly to me as he stomps through the front door, slamming it hard behind him. “Mommy, are you here? School is finished now so I’m home.”

“I’m just in the kitchen!” I call back with a smile on my face. “Everything okay, Liam?”

“Yeah, just wanted to check that you’re here and not in the hospital.” As he makes it to the kitchen, his eyes flick down to my swollen belly. “No, still got a baby in your tummy.”

I run my hand over my stomach, immediately feeling a kick. “Yep, shouldn’t be for too much longer though. I think the baby will come soon. You looking forward to being a big brother?”

“Yep, I sure am. It’s going to be so much fun.”

“Maybe, but be prepared for me and your dad to be very tired for a while with all the sleepless nights. You’re lucky to have a bedroom far away so you won’t get woken up so much.”

“Yeah.” He screws up his nose. “I think you are right, but I still want to help you when I can.”

Liam is so mature these days, he’s grown up so much over the last year and I think that’s down to having his dad around a lot more. Starting school has probably had an impact as well. Evan now completely mixes his time up between work and his home life and he’s managed to achieve the perfect balance. I was working on it, but at the moment I’m all about family since I’m about to have a new born baby. That can’t be helped, but the foundation of my company is there. I certainly have something to go back to when the time is right. I’m much more suited to being a lawyer in my own way anyway. I didn’t realize how little I liked the rules of working for Harrison and Associates, all the unnecessary hoops I had to jump through to get anywhere.

Still, it hardly matters now, that I left it far behind me.

“Daddy is just getting some stuff from the car,” Liam tells me as he grabs something to eat from the fridge. “He won’t be more than a minute.”

“Sure, sure. How was your day…” All of a sudden, a hot pain radiates through my stomach. I clutch onto myself and bend over double. Well, as double as I can bend with a massive stomach rolled out in front of me. “Oh, my God, that hurts.” I breathe deeply, but it doesn’t help at all. If anything, it makes it worse. “That hurts so badly. It’s agony.”

Liam doesn’t even ask me what I need, he races from the room yelling his father the whole time. This must be my daughter being born, she was due yesterday. I’ve been expecting something like this to happen all day long, but I didn’t think it would feel like this. I’ve been to all the baby classes that I can get to, and I’ve listened intently to all the lessons, but none of them could have prepared me for this. This must be my first contraction, and it’s killing me. It’s horrible. It’s the worst thing that I’ve ever experienced in my life. If this is just the first part, the easiest part, then I don’t know how I’m going to cope. How am I going to give birth when it feels like my body is already being torn apart?

“Oh my goodness, Katy, are you okay?” Evan races to my side and he wraps his arms around me. His touch comforts me a little, but it isn’t enough today to calm me down. “Is it starting?”

“I think so,” I gulp down some loud breaths. “I think this is my contractions starting.”

“Do we need to go to the hospital now? Shall I call Nancy to come and watch Liam?”

“I don’t think we can go right away… argh!” I yell as more pain tears through me, but this time I seem to recover a lot quicker. “But yes, it might be a good idea to call Nancy in just in case. She’s been on standby since yesterday, hasn’t she?”

“Yep, yeah, sure.” Evan tugs his cell phone out of his pocket. “Okay, I’ll call Nancy. You take a seat and relax… well, relax as much as you can until it gets too much.”

I stagger into the living room and fall onto the couch with Liam by my side. He immediately flicks the television on and switches it to something he thinks I might like to watch.

“Shall I get you a drink or something to eat?”

The thought of food makes me feel sick right now, but I’m not going to say that to Liam. He’s only being nice. “A drink sounds awesome,” I gasp through the pain. “Water please.”

Once I’m alone in the room, I rub my belly and I talk to my baby girl like I have done constantly since I found out that I was pregnant – that happy little surprise that I’ve been excited about for nine long months.

“Hey, little Delia. How are you doing in there?” Admittedly my tone isn’t as soft as it’s been for the last nine months. The sheer pain is bursting through my tone. “I can’t wait to meet you, me, your dad, and your big brother are very excited.” I rub her, hoping that I can soothe her. “Now I’m a little scared too because it’s going to be a painful journey to get you here. Don’t hurt me too much? Please?” A contraction bursts through me again. “Okay, okay, I get it. It’s going to have to hurt. It’s probably not going to be the nicest time for you either. But you’re already very loved, you know that, right? We all love you dearly, you’re being born into a very loving family.”

Evan dives into the room with a pale, panicked and very stressed face. “Okay, that’s it. Nancy is on the way, she said that she should be here in about ten minutes, is that long enough? How are you doing? Do you need anything? What can I do for you?”

“I’m okay at the moment, I think. I just need your hand to hold…”

Then Liam runs in the room too, clutching onto my glass of water like it’s the holy grail. “Here, I have your drink. Is this okay? Do you need anything else?”

“I need your hand too. I have to hold on to both of you to stop the pain.”

As I hold onto both of these two, I know that I’m not going through this alone. The birth part is scary, but I can get through it with the support of this pair, and I know it’ll be totally worth it when Delia arrives and our awesome family expands even more. This journey is an amazing one, I love being with my husband, my son, and soon to be my daughter. I don’t ever have any doubts about where I am, I don’t wonder what it would be like if I’d taken that partner job and continued with my career dreams.

This right now, my happy ever after, is exactly where I’m supposed to be.