Tempt Me

Blurb

SECRETS need to be kept when so much is at stake!

Will they still give in to the temptation?

 

Evan Debroils

He has it all…money, women and a successful business.

He’s living the dream!

At least, that’s what it seems to the outside world.

But, in reality, his life is on a very shaky foundation!

Being a single dad to 6 years old Liam isn’t easy

Especially when memories of losing Victoria before our wedding still seem so fresh!

 

Katy Atwater

She worked herself to the bone to become the partner in a law firm.

She’s missed out on having any social life.

Romance seemed an alien thing.

But, none of that bothers her as long as she achieves her goal…

At least, that’s what she thinks.

 

When fate brings them to work together, neither expect sparks to fly.

But, soon their feelings get stronger and…

Its time, they decide if risking everything might be worth!

Chapter One – Evan

“I’m not negotiating with you,” I yell firmly down the phone. “I’ve given you my offer and that’s the end of it. I think you need to remember here that you need me way more than I need you.”

My heart thunders in my chest, boiling hot blood shoots around my body at a million miles an hour. I twirl the phone chord around my finger in a way that probably appears anxious... but anxiety isn’t how I’m feeling at all. It’s anticipation, adrenaline, excitement. I love it when a deal comes together, especially when it’s in my favor which this one definitely seems to be. I know how to get what I want and how to wrangle the best out of everyone. It’s what has made me so damn successful. Tech start-ups are never easy, but I’ve damn well done it and I’m proud of that. DeBroils Enterprises is successful because of me and me alone.

“Erm, yes, right, I see,” the weedy guy on the other end of the phone stammers like he’s crapping his pants purely because of my words. “I understand that, but my boss…”

“Are you not in a position to make any sort of decision?” I mock. “Do they not let you have that sort of power? I thought I was speaking to you for a reason. Please tell me I’m not wasting my time talking to you. I really wouldn’t want to hear anything like that.”

“No.” He sighs, I can hear the defeat in his tone. “Do you know what? Yes, that’s fine.”

I bang my hand down on my desk with glee. “Brilliant, thank you very much.”

Once I hang up the phone I cackle to myself. Maybe it isn’t the most ethical way to behave, railroading these weaker business owners, but to be honest they should know what they’re up against. I do have a reputation for putting myself and my company first, and I do know I’m not the worst. These people need to toughen the hell up. I sure don’t feel guilty. I had to learn the hard way too.

I have stakes, I need my company to succeed. Nothing else will ever matter.

“Knock. Knock.” The smile on my face only gets brighter when I hear the silky-smooth voice of my extremely well chosen personal assistant.

Ally, pops her head around the door. “Can I come in?”

I lean back in my chair and run my eyes all over her. Her heavily made up face excites me, because I know she does it just for me, especially those painted red lips, she knows I love them. They turn me on like crazy, no matter what.

“Yes, please do. You know my door is always open for you.”

I mean that as well. I hired Ally over many other more qualified candidates because of those stunning good looks of hers. That, and the fact that she instantly made it clear that she had the hots for me. I always like to have someone who’s up for it around me. Just in case. She’s good enough at what she does, I pretty much always know where I’m supposed to be and when. And the best thing I like about her are those sexy lips. When they are wrapped around me… well, there’s nothing better!

“I’ve just come to let you know that Mr. Wong has cancelled your conference call this afternoon, citing family issues, so you have the whole afternoon free now.” She perches on the edge of my desk and leans forward so her cleavage pops out the top of her shirt. Her blonde hair falls forward, but luckily for me it doesn’t get in the way of the incredible view. The only thing distracting me is that awesome slit in her skirt. “So, you can do whatever it is that you want.”

“Oh I can, can I?” I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively at her. “Hmmm what shall I do?”

Ally flips her hair and pushes her breasts out even further at me. “I have a few ideas…”

This is the best thing about Ally. She is always up for it, no matter where, no matter when. It can be right now in my office, when everyone else could hear us if they really wanted to, or when I’m on a business trip making it much less boring and painful, but she also doesn’t mind if I hook up with other people. She even encouraged me to hook up with that girl from accounts at the Christmas party. Actually, if I remember rightly she joined in… Ally doesn’t ever ask any questions, she doesn’t want to know about my life, she doesn’t want any commitment, which is perfect because I don’t want to give any of those things. I’m only in it for the fun side of things. Nothing serious, ever.

Ally sway her hips as she struts over me, licking her lips as she does. Almost instantly my cock stands to attention in my pants, crying to be freed. The closer she gets to me, the more I tremble with excitement. Thank fuck Mr. Wong cancelled. Talking to him is a buzz kill compared to this.

As Ally gets nearer to me I can see the thick lust in her eyes. She presses her hands onto my knees and drops to the floor in front of me, instinctively knowing what I want without me even having to ask. My hands work their way into her hair as I prepare myself for what’s about to come. My mouth waters with need, I didn’t realize how much I needed this until this very moment.

“Oh fuck,” I murmur in anticipation as she fiddles with my zipper. This really is the life. I do have it all. A good business, awesome women around me… it’s amazing. If I focus on those incredible things then I don’t need to think about all the aspects that could do with being filled in. “Oh, Ally.”

Eventually she pulls me free and she gasps out in delight as she does. I love the way she makes it obvious how much she adores my cock, it turns me on even more, and it reminds me what a powerful man I’ve become. Her hand runs up and down my length, making me shudder. Her wide brown eyes meet mine and she licks her lips again, somehow leaving a perfect redness behind just for me.

“Stop messing around,” I gush as my hips take on a like of their own. They buck towards her needily. “Just take me in your mouth now, will you?”

Luckily for me, Ally knows when I’m not in the mood for teasing and playing, which is one of those days today, so she does as I command. She puts her warm wetness right around me and slides me down to the back of her throat, opening herself up for me as she does. She can definitely handle more of me than she used to be able to, which is awesome. It feels fucking incredible to be balls deep inside her. Especially when she flickers her tongue everywhere, all over me like she wants to taste me everywhere. She probably does, the filthy woman that she is. God damn it, I love it.

I fist her hair as I control the speed that she bobs her head up and down. I know that Ally doesn’t mind my control freak side, which is great because I don’t know how to reign it in. My thighs tense and I can feel myself trembling. I know that I’m close but somehow that doesn’t feel satisfying enough. I feel like I want more… so I tug her back rapidly.

“Bend over my desk,” I command. “Spread your legs wide and place your palms on the desk.”

Ally smirks and struts over there. She peers over her shoulder as she does and gives me the sexiest fucking look I’ve ever seen. Before parting her legs and placing her hands on the desk, she wiggles down her lace panties and kicks them across the room. I hope that she remembers to pick them up before she leaves because she doesn’t always… and it’s led to some awkward conversations.

As I stand and I growl with lust, my trousers drop to the ground and I slide my boxers along with them. Then I reach into my desk and I grab a condom from there which I rip apart with my teeth and I slowly roll it down over my cock.

“Oh, I love watching you do that,” Ally says with a seductive ass wiggle. “It’s so fucking hot.”

I don’t answer her. I just move closer to her and grip my hands next to hers on the desk, then I slide myself into her and I thrust hard and fast. Being with Ally is awesome, it’s so easy and familiar, I like it, but it’ll never be a long-term thing. We both know that. One day, she’ll fall in love and she’ll move on, and I’ll find someone else to fool around with. Simple.

“Oh fuck,” I grunt as I bang her hips against the desk. “Fucking hell.”

Ally pants too, so I reach around to her front and flick her clit to bring her to the edge harder and faster. I might not necessarily worry too much about her pleasure in all of this but I still want her to keep coming back for more, and this is just a part of that. This does the trick and soon she flicks her head back as the pleasure starts to claim her. Her breaths come out raggedly and she begins to cry out with bliss. This gives me the opportunity to let go myself. The tension floods from my body and I explode free inside of her, seeing stars as I come. God this feels so good, it feels so fucking freeing… I needed this more than I knew. Ally seems to understand me better than I do myself.

Either that, or she’s just horny all the time. That might be just as much possible.

Once we’re done, Ally sorts herself out as I do too. This part is always done alone without us even looking at one another, I don’t know why, it isn’t like I’m ashamed of my post coital body, it’s just the way we’ve always done things. Luckily, this is a habit that doesn’t feel like a rut.

“Right,” Ally declares as she straightens down her skirt. “I better get back to my desk, answer the million voice mails that I’m sure I’ve gotten since I’ve been here.”

“Yes, of course.” I nod slowly. “Sounds great.”

As she leaves me alone, walking with the same swing of her hips that always gets me going, I sit back down at my desk with a deep sigh. I feel good, all deflated and satisfied now. I really could probably leave the office now that I have no meetings for the rest of the day but I can’t let go the control of this place. I’m sure the company won’t fall apart without me but I just hate to give any of it up for even a second. It’s something that I’ve worked so hard on, I can’t just let it go now.

“Right,” I mutter to myself as I glance around the room trying to work out what needs to be done. “Email, filing, check in with all the managers, see what’s going on in all the departments, and then… home.”

Home.

Home is still a good place for me, I have a lot of reasons to go back there, but there are also a lot of sad memories too. Things that I find it hard to be near, that I want to just forget. There are times when my heart still really hurts but I have to keep going. There are too many people that need me.

Chapter Two – Katy

“So, Miss Atwater, can you please explain this clause to me again? I don’t think I get it.”

I really resist the urge to roll my eyes as my client asks me to explain again. This corporate law stuff is so easy to me, it’s like reading a children’s book, so much so that it’s hard for me to remember that it isn’t as easy for everyone else. I have to bite my tongue all the damn time.

“Yes, of course, let me go through it again. Would you like me to get you another coffee first?

I rise from my chair, all ready to go and get one whatever his answer is. The break is for me, not him anyways. I need a moment to collect myself together and to keep my cool. It looks like it’s going to be another late night… mind you, every night is a late one here. Ever since I started being a lawyer I haven’t had much of a social life. Then again, I’m sure it’ll be better when I’m a partner. That’s the goal, that’s the moment when my life will get easier. When I’m made a partner.

The decision for the next partner is coming up soon as well and I know that I’m one of the candidates. I just need to get through the next few weeks and I can be one of the ones who delegate the work rather than take it on. I cannot wait, it’s going to be freaking incredible.

“Yes, please. A latte would be great. I’ll take a look through this again while I wait.”

It’s almost pointless for him to do so since he doesn’t understand any of it, but I don’t bother saying that. I give him a smile through gritted teeth instead. “I’ll be right back.”

As I get to the luxurious coffee machine – the one good thing about working here – I see Grant standing with his head in his hands. My heart skips a beat as I see him, he’s one of those men who manages to be good looking even when he’s been working for twelve hours straight. His blond hair is disheveled, his blue eyes look strained, his skin is sallow and tired… but still I like him. It’s just a shame that the feelings will never be reciprocated. He has a girlfriend who’s so beautiful that it’s actually painful. She’s got long, gorgeous legs, amazing boobs, a great face… and she’s funny too. She’s the complete package types and I’m incredibly jealous of her. Maybe if Grant could see me at my best, out of work, he would see me in the same light but he never does.

“Long day?” I ask him with a bright, beaming smile. “Looks like you’re having fun.”

“I’ve just been at it for so long,” he whines pathetically. “I’m so freaking tired.”

I move to the coffee machine and make some drinks for me and my client. “Yeah tell me about it. Still, it’s the partner meeting soon, we all have to keep it up.”

Grant is probably the only one person I wouldn’t mind losing, but only because of the ridiculous crush I have on him. I’m so pitiful that I’d actually be happy to see him getting the reward which I so desperately need. I wouldn’t even mind working my ass off for a few extra months if he could be happy. Despite the fact that he has it all already. God, I need to get a grip!

“Yeah, that’s true.” Grant loosens his tie and shakes his head. “Still, I had plans tonight and I’ve had to cancel again. It gets on top of me a bit sometimes.”

“Oh shit!” I yank my phone out of my pocket as his words remind me of something. “Oh, my God, I have to make a phone call quickly. Just… could you please watch the drinks for me, will you?”

Grant gives me an odd look but he nods and agrees with me. I know that I’m acting strange but I need to make this call now before it gets any later. Robyn, my best friend since college, is already going to be mad at me for this, I don’t want to make it worse. I move into an empty hallway with my heart thumping in my throat. I can’t deny that I’m nervous to make this call. I promised faithfully that I wouldn’t let her down this time, but here I am about to do it again.

I bite down my nail and pace up and down while the phone rings, amping up my nerves more with each passing second. The anticipation is killing me. I can’t stand it.

“Don’t tell me,” Robyn answers with a weary sounding voice. “You can’t come.”

“I’m so sorry, I only just remembered I know that I promised, but it’s just that…”

“Work, I know. I always know. It’s always work.”

“It’ll get better, I promise you,” I insist maybe a little too frantically. “Once I’m made partner, it’ll be much better I won’t let you down again.”

“Katy, I know you keep telling me this, but you are always busy. From what I understand the partners at your office are always busy. There doesn’t seem to be anyone in your office that has any kind of social life. I really don’t think anything will change…”

“Please don’t be mad at me.”

I can’t lose Robyn, she’s the only one who’s stuck around in my crazy, busy life. When we left college, there were lots of us but most of them drifted off to their own ends of the country to do their own things, but very few remained all stuck together. Except now, they’ve stuck with Robyn but not me. I don’t blame them, I’m never free to do anything so there isn’t much point in inviting me, but still… I cannot lose Robyn.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know you are and I’m not mad,” she sighs desperately. “I just worry about you. I think you’re lonely and you work too hard. Mike would have been perfect for you and he was really looking forward to double date with me but with Jon tonight, I just know this is going to crush him.”

When I think about Robyn and Jon it makes my stomach clench. They’ve only been together for six months but it just works. It’s so obvious that they’re meant to be… that’s what I want. It’s what I want so badly that it hurts, but who would put up with someone who is never around? The only person I can think of who might want to be with me is Grant, because he understands, he’s always at work too. We could make up for lost time by seeing one another at work… but he has a girlfriend and it’s never going to happen. At this rate, I might die alone. Especially if Robyn is right and it won’t get better once I’m a partner. Maybe I will still be as busy. Who knows? Not me, not anymore.

“I’m sorry. Maybe we can do it again sometime…”

“Katy, I don’t mean to be horrible, but this is the third time you’ve stood Mike up. I think he’ll only have so much patience, you know?”

I huff, knowing that she’s right. Mike could be the perfect man for me and I’m constantly letting him down and ruining things before they can even become anything. But I can’t send Mr. Thomas away now. Not so close to the partner meeting. Unfortunately, I have to choose work over love once more. Story of my damn life. I just really hope it isn’t always this way.

“I’m sorry, Robyn. And I’m sorry to Mike too.”

“I know you are. Just… make sure this all makes you happy, okay? I’ll speak to you soon.”

Once I hang up the phone, I stare at the screen for a moment, wondering why Robyn’s words have made me feel so weird inside. Of course, work makes me happy, that’s why I spend so much time at it, that’s why it’s all I care about. I went to college to study law for a reason, it called to me and I’ve always known that it’s what I want. Sure, it isn’t quite what I dreamed but it can’t be that way right away. Everyone has to go through the hard bits before their dreams fully come true. That’s common knowledge. If it comes easy then there isn’t any point to it. Is there?

So why do I feel right now like it doesn’t make me happy? Why do I feel like I can’t breathe? Like my lungs have collapsed and my heart is racing far too quickly? Why does it feel like the walls are closing in on me and that I might be trapped at any given moment? I could panic, if I wanted to, but I’m doing everything that I can to ensure that doesn’t happen. I can’t panic right now, not when I have so much I need to do. I have to get the coffees, I have to get back to Mr. Thomas, I need to explain to him the same thing over and over again until I’m just about ready to tear my own hair out…

“Katy?” Grant’s chocolaty smooth voice runs right through me, making me jump and snap my eyes up to see him. I feel like I’ve gone crazy and I’m scared he might see that. “Are you okay?”

“Oh… yeah, of course.” I try to act blasé but I don’t know whether or not I pull it off. From the look on his face I don’t. “Just erm… on the phone, cancelling plans you know how it is.” I let out a laugh, but it’s too weak to really pass off. “Same old, same old.”

“Yeah well…” Grant hands me the two coffee drinks that I made earlier, snapping me back into action. “That’s what you get for being one of the best legal minds in the country.”

“What… what do you mean by that?” I can barely stand to look at him because he dazzles me so much. “Best legal mind?”

“Well you are, aren’t you? One of the best I mean. I was just saying to Tatiana…” I have to really struggle not to shudder at the mere mention of her name. “That I have some real tough competition in you. I wouldn’t be surprised if you beat me to the partner position at all.”

I smile weakly at him, soaking the compliment up like a sponge. The thing is, I am an amazing lawyer, that’s the reason I’m being considered for partner so soon. That’s why I work my ass off all the time. There are reasons that this is worth it.

“Thank you, Grant, that’s… nice of you. Of course, I’m not really your competition, but still. Thank you.”

“Oh, you are. But I don’t have time to stand around flattering you all day long. Or all night long, what time is it again?” I laugh at his pitiful joke. “I best get back, and judging by the temperature of those drinks you had too. I’ll see you later, I’m sure.”

“Yep. See ya.”

When he gives me a warm grin I feel some of my confidence return. I’ll prove Robyn wrong, she won’t be able to get rid of me once I’m a partner. It’ll all be just fine. I clutch the drinks tighter and I walk with a bounce in my step back to Mr. Thomas. Yes, I’m still annoyed that I’ll have to spend most of the time explaining things to him again, but it’s all just small cogs towards my end goal. That shining star, the title partner.

“Right, Mr. Thomas,” I declare with a grin. Going out for a coffee was definitely a good idea. I have a new spark again. I can face him with a genuine interest. “What do you need help with?”

Chapter Three – Evan

Just as I finally give up and I start gathering up my things to go home, hours after I probably could have left, the phone at my desk rings out. Ally has already left, she’s almost always out the door at five o clock on the dot, so it’s up to me to decide whether or not it’s a call I want to take. The answering machine is on, I could just take a message in the morning, but there’s something inside of me itching, unable to just let it go. Screw it, I need to know who it is.

“Hello, Evan DeBroils speaking.” I’m almost panting with desperation. “How may I help you?”

“Evan, it’s Barry.” My heart sinks as I hear my accountant’s firm tone. “I’ve been trying to reach you for days. You’ve been very difficult to speak to.”

I gulp noisily. I can’t tell him that I informed Ally that she needed to field all his calls and make excuses for why I can’t speak to him because I don’t want to face the impending truth. I know it won’t make any difference, I’m sure things will happen regardless, but by burying my head in the sand I thought I would buy myself some more time. Now, I’m stuck facing it.

I should have let it go to voice mail, I think sadly. What an idiot.

“Oh, Barry. Sorry, you know Ally. Sometimes she doesn’t realize when people are making essential calls…” Maybe I should feel guilty for sullying Ally’s name, but I don’t.

“Right, well. I do need to speak to you. Is now a good time?”

No! Make an excuse. Run away… but I know I can’t. I need to work out what I can do.

“Sure.” I fall wearily back into my office chair. “I can talk.”

“I won’t take up too much of your time, I just need to discuss the financial situation with you.” My eyes fall closed as guilt threatens to consume me whole. “As you know, things are not good. They haven’t been good for a very long time. As I tried to advise you, you expanded at a pace that was much too rapid and now you are hemorrhaging money and you don’t have to focus to start making money back because there is just too much for you. There have been threats from investors and the banks…”

“I’ll just put more of my own money into it,” I interject quickly, needing to make all these horrible thoughts stop. It’s easy to lose my confidence which often borders on arrogance, when I have this heavy reminder that I’ve failed. I knew this was coming. “This is my fault so I’ll foot the bill…”

“Quite frankly, you can’t.” Barry is firm with me. “That won’t work again. You will end up bankrupt yourself, and as well I know you cannot allow that to happen.

“Then I will restructure…” I run my hand through my hair and tug at the ends with stress. “I’ll close some of the offices, make the operations smaller, get things back to how they used to be…”

“That is coming much too late, Evan, I’m afraid that just isn’t going to work.”

A thick silence clings to the air which makes the ice-cold terror bolt through my system. I’ve seen the numbers, I knew that things weren’t good, but it’s starting to sound like Barry thinks I don’t have any options. I don’t want to hear that! I need answers and fast.

“Look, Evan.” Barry sighs. “I don’t want your firm to go to auction. I know what the stakes are for you and I also know how hard you’ve worked. The last thing anyone wants is for everything to go belly up, but you need to be realistic. Maybe it’s time you find a buyer…”

“No,” I shoot back quickly. “The company is mine. I’m not getting a buyer.”

“I know that’s your opinion, but I don’t want you to lose everything. I can’t see any investor worth his or her salt getting involved with a business that has such a poor structure. You know?”

My heart races painfully in my chest and my head starts to spin. It can’t end like this, it just can’t. I absolutely refuse to accept it. “Are there any other options?”

“I mean, you can present a case that suggests you will make things better, but you need a lawyer for that to work and I’m not sure that’s something you can afford right now…”

“I’ll do it.” A ray of hope, that’s all I need. A small ray. “I’ll sort it, don’t worry.”

“I don’t know if that’s what I would advise. You’ll need the best of the best.”

My computer is already rebooting, I’m doing this. Even if it’s a last ditch attempt then I have to try. I can’t give up, that will never be me. And if I can do this in a discrete way so no other businesses work out what’s going on, even better. I already feel happier knowing that I’m trying.

“Yeah, thanks, Barry.” I’m already pulling the phone away from my ear, distracted. “Bye!”

I slam the phone back down and I flick through the Internet at the speed of light. I’ve used various law companies during my time as a business man but there’s only one that I remember really impressing me. Harrison and Associates. I had a young lad representing me then and he did an incredible job. I think they’re the only company I would trust with this.

Once I find the number I put in the call without even considering the time. It’s nearly seven PM, so there’s a chance that I won’t get a response, but any law firm worth anything tends to work through the night. I’m sure Harrison and Associates counts in that.

“Hello, Harrison and Associates, Deborah speaking.” She sounds professional, not exhausted. She must be a secretary. I’m impressed! Deborah isn’t out the door at five! “How may I help you?”

“My name is Evan Debroils,” I begin. “I have used your law firm in the past…”

“Ah yes,” she replies warmly. “I remember. I spoke with you a lot then.”

I feel horrible that I can’t remember, but that’s because I’m usually pushing forwards, never pausing to stop in the present to consider the past. Maybe that’s what got me in such a mess in the first place.

“You worked with Grant then, didn’t you? Back when he first started at the firm.”

“Ah yes, Grant. Can I speak to him?” It sounds like he’s still there, which is perfect.

“He’s actually with another client at the moment.” Of course, he is. Busy as always! This is the sort of thing that makes him the best, his dedication. “But if you give me some details about what you want, then I will pass the message on and get him to call you back at his earliest convenience.”

“Ah right.” I feel nervous. I don’t know if I want to share such details about my current situation with Deborah, but I suppose I have to. There’s a high level of confidentiality anyway, so I really shouldn’t worry. I just don’t like it, it hurts my pride. “Okay, well here it is…”

***

A long hour passes before I get off the phone, but after the call I feel much better. Deborah has reassured me that Grant will speak with me soon so I know where I stand when it comes to him. She was kind as well, I didn’t sense even a moment of judgement in her tone which is what I need right now. Once I have finally ended the call, I rub my eyes and let out a deep sigh of relief.

“Right,” I mutter to myself. “Time to go.”

Just before I leave, I find myself drawn to the photo of my parents that I can stand to look at. Since I lost them three years ago, maybe I should be more over it now, but I’m not at all. The senseless, needless way they were stripped from the world still crushes me painfully every single day. I grab the photo off the shelf and I run my finger idly along my mother’s face. She has dark hair, just like mine, and a bright, beaming smile. I recognize a lot of myself in her, which only makes me miss her even more. My mother was warm, kind hearted, and would do anything for anyone. There’s no reason at all her wonderful soul should have been taken from this Earth.

Then there’s my dad. I don’t look much like him, aside from the green eyes and tall stature, but I get my fierce ambition from him. That’s why all of this failure hits harder and why I definitely can’t take the easy way out and get a buyer. I inherited this business from him, before then I was merely an employee, and I need to make it a success. When I got it from him, it was a low level start up tech company and I made it explode. Of course, as Barry said, I pushed too hard and I expanded too quickly, but that’s all come from a good place. I just want to make this work for him. I want him to see that I’m worthwhile. Maybe that’s why I’m such a control freak about it. There’s been so much happening in my life that I’ve had no power over. This I need to control.

“I’m sorry, Dad,” I mutter to the picture. “I didn’t mean to make such an epic fuck up of things. That was never my intention. I just want to make Debroils Enterprises a name that means something, you know?” I sigh loudly, knowing that I probably sound like a crazy person right now. “That’s why I’m doing everything that I can to keep it. I won’t give up. Never ever!”

He stares lifelessly back at me from the picture frame, like a constant reminder that he’s gone. If he was here with me, I just know that he’d give me the absolute best advice that I could ever want. He would know the answer much better than me. That’s probably why he kept it small because he was wiser than me, he could always see the much bigger picture that however hard I try, I just can’t. But he isn’t here. He’s gone, and I’m in a mess of my own making. The only person that can get me out of this is me. And Grant. Good old Grant, get me out through this mess.

Just before I make another move to go home, I pull out a bottle of Brandy that I keep stored in the locked drawer at the bottom of my desk for emergencies just like this one. There’s a small tumbler in there as well so I can only pour myself a small measure. I don’t want to ever get wild at work. That’s the last thing this company needs. Once poured, I spin in my chair to look over the city as I take a big swig of the cool, delicious liquid that warms me up as it slides down my throat.

I can’t lose all of this, it just isn’t possible. I can’t let go of the last thing my father left for me. I know that Barry understands and I can also see that he only has my best interests at heart, but this is something I need to do. I have to keep fighting, right up until the very last moment. I’ll throw my heart and soul into it, I’ll give it all I’ve got, I’ll be willing and open to change, I’ll even stop being a stubborn control freak and I’ll listen. Whatever Grant tells me, that’s what I’ll do. I have to. For Mom, for Dad, for their legacy and for myself too.

Chapter Four – Katy

Nerves cascade through my system as I make my way down town to the Debroils Enterprises office for an emergency meeting with the owner there because his company is having some serious financial issues and they need a new plan. I wasn’t intending to take on any more clients until after the partner decision meeting, but since Grant asked me in front of two of the senior partners, including Doug Harrison himself, I felt like I couldn’t say no. To be honest, I don’t know if that was an intentional thing. I don’t know if he meant to throw me under the bus like that in a way to sabotage me, but here I am, doing it for him, wondering how I allowed myself to get railroaded.

It doesn’t matter now, I tell myself firmly as I step much quicker. I just need to do a good job, that’s all that matters. Screw Grant, screw worrying, I just need to prove myself.

Maybe I can use this as a way to make myself look even more suited to the position. After all, it isn’t me who said I didn’t have the time, it’s Grant. That won’t exactly look good, will it? I mean, I might end up pulling a lot of all nights, but again it’ll all be worth it.

The only night I absolutely cannot back down on is Friday. I can’t be in the office then no matter what. It’ll be the absolute last straw with Robyn since she’s been planning a low key night out for my birthday ever since last year. I promised, and after the double date nightmare I cannot do it again. I just can’t. No matter what, Friday is to be kept free.

I have to admit when I stand at the foot of the Debroils Enterprises building, I’m impressed. I’ve been to a lot of offices in my time, but this just screams ‘luxury’. What a shame that it’s all just a sham and that it’s all falling apart. I clutch my briefcase closer to me and shake my head in dismay. The best looking things are always the messiest inside.

Right, I think with sheer determination. Get in there, make this work somehow.

Easier said than done, I know, but I have to put my best foot forward. I step inside and head to the front desk where a bored looking receptionist with the longest nails taps away at her computer. She types so fast, even quicker than me, so I have to assume that she’s not really writing anything at all. I guess she’s one that’s just an expert at making herself look busy.

I stand in front of her desk, waiting for her to give up the rouse and finally acknowledge me. She knows that I’m in front of her, my shadow is casting over her, this must be a power play on her part. I don’t care if she wants to play that, if that’s what makes her happy. I need the moment to get my brain in order anyway, to prepare myself for this unexpected job.

“Yeah?” she finally drags her eyes away from the screen to ask in a tone that shows no respect whatsoever. Much as it gets my back up, I refuse to rise to the bait.

“Oh thank you, I didn’t want to interrupt you. I’m looking for Evan Debroils.” I only remember it so well because it’s such an unusual name. “Do you know where I might find him?”

“Top floor. Elevator’s there.” She pointes behind her then gets right back to fake typing again, effectively ending the conversation before I can get a chance to say anything else. Maybe this rudeness is something I should mention to Evan, but it seems she works for the building rather than his office.

“Right, thank you.” I’m not going to let her rudeness affect my behavior.

I make my way over to the elevator and wait for it to descend. Luckily because it’s late morning now, there aren’t hundreds of people jostling to get inside like I’m sure there are early on in the day. I need this alone time to steel myself. The thing is, I always have confidence when I go into meetings, that’s essential for getting people to believe in me and in Harrison and Associates, but that’s always because I’ve had time to do some solid research and I’m properly focused. It’s just lucky that after filing the paper work for Mr. Thomas that there isn’t anything I can do for him for the moment, but I still don’t feel as focused as I’d like to be.

I need to recover from that quickly though, because it’s almost time for me to put my brave face on! I need to remember who I am, how hard I’ve worked, how I can do this.

I step into the elevator and take some deep breaths. I slide my eyes closed to center myself, which isn’t easy because of the terrible music playing over my head. Why do people think that elevator rides can’t just be silent? It’s beyond me! It’s a time to focus and relax. I don’t need tinny, horrible, old fashioned music getting in the way of that.

Before I feel like I’ve had enough time, the elevator stops and the doors open wide, bringing me right into the middle of the office space. Workers scurry busily around me, completely ignoring my existence as if they’re used to people randomly bursting in during the day… which judging by the elevator positon, I suppose they are. To me, it’s strange, like nothing I’ve ever seen before.

I tentatively step forward, wondering who the face of the company is, the person that I’m supposed to talk to right away. There’s usually a clearly indicated desk, but not here. I can’t help but wonder if it’s designed to confuse people on purpose. Suppliers, clients, visitors, they are already at a disadvantage for not understanding the structure properly.

“Hello there, Miss,” a syrupy voice grabs my attention. “Can I help you please?”

I twist to see an intimidatingly sexy woman smiling back at me. She’s one of those who might not be a classical beauty, but knows what she has and she works with it well. Her face is painted to the max, she has red lips that are almost intoxicating, her blonde hair falls past her shoulders in waves, and her clothes are tailored perfectly to her frame. She’s the sort of woman that I imagine men desire to work with, she’s like an office fantasy brought to life in front of me.

I glance down at myself, seeing a crisp, slightly washed out and very tired version of myself. I know that I can look better, I just don’t ever have the time to. And to be honest, people respect lawyers who look all business rather than someone with a face full of make-up. Still right now that doesn’t make me feel any less intimidated. I’m like the nerdy girl faced with the cheerleader.

“I, erm…” I can feel my face flame with embarrassment which is very annoying. “I’m here for a meeting with a Mr. Evan Debroils this morning. I’m the lawyer.”

“Oh, right sure.” I almost sigh with relief that she’s expecting me. “Please come with me.”

I follow her through the office and as we go I can feel all eyes upon me. I have no doubt that the employees of this business have no idea what’s really going on, and my presence alone is bound to cause whispers. I know why business owners do this, they don’t want to cause panic and low morale, but sometimes I’m sure the rumors are worse than the truth… although maybe not here.

“Hold on a moment, I’ll just go and see what Evan is up to. Please take a seat.”

I perch my butt on the edge of the chair and I wait. And I wait, and I wait a bit more. I can’t stop my eyes from darting towards the door of Mr. Debroils office and I get a strange feeling about what might be going on inside there. Normally I would know about a man’s reputation before I got involved, so I could prepare myself, but today I wasn’t given the time. I wonder how tacky it would be to do my research while I wait. Is this the sort of man who would fool around with members of staff? In my personal experience, that always leads to failure because of distraction, because of the strain that it puts on the business owner’s family, and because it’s just damn mess.

“Right.” Finally, before I get the chance to pull out my phone. “Evan is waiting for you.”

I search her discretely, trying to see any signs of fooling around, but there doesn’t seem to be any. Maybe I’m just cynical now and I’ve seen too much so I judge everyone whom I’ve seen in the past. Maybe what I need to do is go into things with an open mind.

I push myself into a standing position and I try my hardest to find a more positive mind set, then I step inside the office. A luxurious room with the largest mahogany desk I’ve ever seen. The illusion of money is definitely here, but not the actual cash flow!

“Hello there, Mr. Debroils, my name is Katy Atwater and I am your lawyer…”

“Yes,” he interrupts rudely. “Ally just told me. Where’s Grant? I specifically asked for Grant.”

His words sting me hard, I don’t like the way that they make me feel all inadequate inside. “I understand that,” I rasp. “But Grant is not available, so they have sent me.”

He runs his hand through his dark mane, looking incredible stressed. “But I wanted Grant for a reason, I know that he’s capable, we have worked together before.”

This gets my back up. I don’t want to be seen as any less capable as Grant from this man who doesn’t know me at all. Plus, I really can’t lose this contract now, it’ll absolutely kill my chances.

“I assure you, Mr. Debroils, that I am just as capable. I have worked on just as many cases as him and I have had more success.” Pride fills my chest as I realize how true that is. “I assure you, I will work hard for you and will ensure that we reach a resolution that suits you.”

He pauses thoughtfully for much too long, only stirring up my dislike for him. If he dares to make any derogatory comments because I’m female and I will flip. I’m just as capable, damn it! I stare at him, glancing over his piercing green eyes, his high cheekbones, his strong shoulders… I suppose he would be very good looking if he wasn’t such as ass.

“Fine,” he finally agrees. “I don’t see that I have any choice, so yeah, let’s do this.”

I part my lips, ready to say something else, when his cell phone blasts out. Without any consideration for me being in the room he grabs it from his pocket and he pulls it out. I can instantly tell from the way that his cheeks pale that it isn’t going to be good news, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s anything to do with the financial mess. I need all the details if I’m going to make this work. I’ve had people hide stuff from me before and it always comes out in the most embarrassing way possible.

“I just need to take this in private,” he tells me quietly. “I’ll be right back.”

As he goes from the room I try to assess how I feel about him, and it isn’t good. He’s arrogant, secretive, and potentially a sleaze. On top of all of that, he’s got his business into a royal mess as well. I don’t know how I’m going to make this work, but somehow, I need to do my best. My future career depends on it.

Chapter Five – Evan

As I end my call, I sigh loudly and I flop my head back against the wall in dismay. When Ally came to me and she told me that it was some female lawyer sent in Grant’s place, I lost it. I went mad and almost ended up ringing Harrison and Associates in temper. It’s just a good thing that Ally calmed me down and told me to just speak with the lawyer before I do anything rash. She doesn’t even know what’s going on, and she spoke wisely. I must thank her later.

Now, I might not be keen on working with someone who isn’t Grant, but I’ll just have to get on with it. There’s nothing I can do about, the time restraints restrict me. I’ll just need to make the best of a bad situation. Apparently, she’s won more cases than Grant anyway, so maybe this will turn out to be a good thing. Who knows, I have to find out anyway, so I might as well be positive.

I gather myself up and I make my way back to my office, preparing myself to face the music as I go, but as I make my way back through the door I’m struck by something else, something I didn’t expect. I was so busy stressing when Katy Atwater walked into my office that I didn’t notice something very important… I didn’t notice how striking beautiful she is. Sure, she tries to hide it under the pant suit that covers up far too much of her body, leaving everything to the imagination, and her natural, make up free face and her scraped back auburn hair, but I can see it. It’s there. She’s gorgeous.

I remain where I am for a moment with the breath stripped from my body. I’m shocked because I’ve never noticed the underneath beauty in someone before, I’m always more fixated on the obvious sexiness in front of me, like with Ally. Even with past relationships, it’s always been the outer beauty that captivated me before anything else had a chance to slip into my focus.

I don’t know what it is about Katy, but I can already tell that for some reason she’s different.

Eventually she senses me behind her and she turns to face me. Katy doesn’t seem to sense the new change in my attitude towards her because she looks just as furious as before. I’ve obviously hurt her with my instant dismissal, which is fair enough. I wouldn’t like that either.

“Who was that?” she demands, almost knocking me sideways with her icy coldness. “If that’s something to do with the case then I need to know. If that was anything to do with money…”

“It isn’t,” I reassure her as I move to the other side of my desk to sit in front of her. “It’s personal life stuff. Nothing to do with work at all.” I don’t say nothing I want to get into, but I think the meaning is very clear. The last thing I need right now is to get stuck into personal details with Katy.

“Right,” she drawls slowly. “Because you know that I need total honesty from you, don’t you? I cannot work with you if you don’t give me everything. The only cases that I’ve lost have been because of people lying to me. That’s why I only work with truthful people.”

I gulp, not liking the wart and all look we’re going to have to take over this, but I know it’s what needs to be done if I want to stand a chance in hell of saving my dad’s legacy. I already told myself that I’m not going to be stubborn and that I’ll embrace this. Now I just need to keep myself on the right track by sticking to this promise. “Yes, of course.”

“Right…” As she delves into the introductory speech, the one where she tells me what she knows about me and my issue and what she’s thinking that we should do right now. I can’t resist tuning out her words and focusing only on the movement of her lips. Partly because I don’t want to be reminded again of my short comings and partly because there’s something incredibly beautiful about the way that she moves her mouth. Especially as she’s saying such smart things.

I lean in closer, propping myself onto my elbow, inadvertently flirting with her without even meaning to. I know I probably shouldn’t, this isn’t a woman that’s here in my office for me to fool around with, she’s here on serious business and I need her, but I can’t help myself. It doesn’t seem to matter anyway, because right at the moment where most women would already be leaning back in, getting close enough for me to kiss them if I should so want, Katy seems completely unparsed by me. It’s almost as if I’m not magnetically pulling her in at all which is very strange. I’m not used to it at all. I have to admit that for most of my life, I’ve had women falling at my feet.

Katy doesn’t seem interested in me at all, which only pulls on me harder.

“Yeah, that all sounds great,” I interject in a way that might just be a little bit rude. If it is I don’t mean it to be. “So, that sounds like we’re going to be spending a lot of time together then.”

“Erm, yes.” She gives me an odd look. “I suppose so. Especially in the beginning, until we get all the details together and we draw up all the plans. Why, will that be a problem?”

“No,” I smirk. “No problem at all. Just interested, that’s all.”

In my mind I start imagining dinners, drinks, late nights alone in the room with me, her, the view, and my bottle of Brandy… it’s all very sexy and maybe even a little romantic. Not where I should be letting my mind go at all. I need to reel myself in.

“Good. Right, so I assume that you’ve thought about all your options?”

***

Katy is still on my mind long after she’s left. I keep alternating between the ideas that we’ve discussed when it comes to moving forward and all the work that’s going to entail… and her. It’s not just when she’s sitting in front of me that I’m intrigued by her, it’s now as well. I can’t get her face out of my mind which isn’t like me at all. It isn’t like I’m pining after Ally when I’m not in the office, it’s just when she’s near and it’s convenient.

“Hey, boss.” Speaking of the Devil, Ally wanders into my office. “Have you finished with the boring lawyer woman now?” She rolls her eyes dramatically. “What was all that about?”

I narrow my eyes, a little annoyed that she’s speaking about Katy like that. She doesn’t know her, who is she to say that she’s boring? Then again, I don’t know her either. Maybe she is boring. All I really know is that she’s super clever and very switched on. She knows more about what I need to do than I do, and I’ve been living in this for years. “Business,” I tell her bluntly.

Ally perches on the edge of my desk and she flicks her hair at me. “Is that all I get, business?”

I stiffen my spine as I think about telling Ally anything. She’s great with confidentiality, obviously, that’s a key part to the job and to being a hook up, but I’m sure that’ll fly out the window the moment she learns that she might well lose her job. I don’t think she’ll be so keen to keep my secrets if it means she might be jobless soon enough, I can’t guarantee that. “Yes, that is all you get.”

She rolls her eyes and snorts as if I’ve said something highly amusing. “Well, she doesn’t seem to be your type so I think I can safely assume that you aren’t hooking up with her...”

“What do you mean, type?” I feel a bit incredulous by the accusation. I don’t think I’m like that. I’ve never seen myself as the sort of person who’s callous enough to have a type.

“Oh, come on.” Ally indicates to herself by running her hands up and down her body. “Like me. Sexy, fun, the sort of woman who makes an effort with herself.” She moves closer to me, swaying her hips in a way that actually seems a bit crass today. A bit designed in a way that doesn’t appeal. “So, if I can assume that you aren’t all worn out from your time with Miss Boring Lawyer then maybe you and I should have some fun?”

She moves onto my lap and straddles me, so I slide my eyes closed to try and get into the heat of the moment. Maybe this is exactly what I need, something to take my mind off of Katy. Maybe once we’ve got into the swing of things, I won’t think about Katy again until I can see her… but I can’t drag her from my thoughts at all, and now that Ally is on top of me the thoughts are far more sexy than they are romantic. My cock stands to attention, but it doesn’t have anything to do with Ally, it’s all about the fantasy in my mind. The lawyer who is anything but boring.

I feel Ally slide to the ground on her knees and she unzips me, but I don’t open my eyes for even a second. I don’t want to see her, I just want to imagine that my meeting with Katy took a very different turn. I picture her, pulling out her hair and letting it cascade around her beautiful, natural face, I envision her hand around my cock, although the Katy in my mind has much less confidence in her grip than the real Ally has, and then she takes me in her mouth, sucking me hard, taking me to Heaven and back in just a few dips of her head.

I explode hard in Ally’s mouth rapidly, shooting my load to the back of her throat, but still in my mind it isn’t her in the picture. It’s Katy. Sweet, pretty Katy who probably doesn’t really need to be corrupted by a pig like me. A man with no desire to ever be serious.

Maybe this is the best way to get all my weird feelings for her out of my system. I can continue to screw Ally in the way that we always have done, and I can think about Katy so it never gets weird. It can all just be a crazy little game inside my mind. Never anything to worry about.

“Wow, that was quick,” Ally declares smugly. “Seems like you’ve been wanting me all afternoon.”

I laugh thinly, not wanting to admit the truth. I can’t admit to Ally that she has nothing to do with it. She’s never been jealous before, but this might be the one thing to make her feel that way. Especially if she learns that she’s just been used in a way that I wouldn’t normally consider.

“Yeah, I guess so,” I reply awkwardly as I zip my trousers back up.

“That’s what will happen if you spend so much time with someone so stuffy.” Ally shoots an exaggerated wink my way. “Just remember that I’m always here for you when she’s gone.”

I nod, hating how that statement makes me feel. I know I don’t commit and I haven’t always done my best in business, but I’ve always tried to be a good person. This is the first time in my life that I don’t feel like I am. It’s the first time I’ve ever felt like I might need to make some changes in my life… and it isn’t a nice feeling at all.

Chapter Six – Katy

The music is too loud, I can feel it radiating through my entire system. It’s actually pulsing so deeply that it’s making my ear drums ache. I don’t want to be in a night club tonight, I want to be in bed. Tucked up under warm duvet covers, reading a book or drifting in and out of sleep… somewhere quiet and peaceful so I can actually hear on my birthday. If I have to be out, I’d much prefer to be somewhere quiet where me and Robyn can share some drinks and conversation, but somehow, I’ve lost complete control of the night and here we are. In a sticky club, listening to awful music.

“I’m headed out for a smoke,” Jon mouths to Robyn, while pointing to his friend, Bear or Baz or something. Some oaf anyway that I’m already sick of. “I’ll be right back.”

Becca, Hetty, and some other girl who’s name I’m not sure of are on the dance floor, so I suppose I’m at least alone with Robyn for the moment. We can’t talk much, but it’s better than being surrounded by shrieking giggles. The other girls are nice but I don’t really know them very well.

“Are you okay?” Robyn leans in to speak into my ear. “Are you having a good night?”

I suppose I could tell her the truth, I could admit that I don’t like it here and that I want to leave, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings. She’s planned all of this night for me, she thinks this is what I need, to ‘blow off some steam’ I think her exact words were. I don’t want to upset her now.

“Yeah it’s great,” I yell back, with a fake bright smile on my face. “Really awesome.”

“We should go and dance in a moment. Join in with the other girls, you know?”

As she points towards the dance floor, a wave of exhaustion hits me once more. I nod then indicate towards my nearly empty glass as if I want to finish that first.

“So, how are things at work?” I can tell that she’s just trying to engage me in a conversation that she thinks I’ll actually want to discuss, but tonight is the one night that I really don’t want to talk shop at all. I just want to forget about it completely. It makes me clutch my glass in anger at the mere mention of the word. “All going well? When do you have your partner meeting?”

I roll my eyes. “I’m not too sure yet. I think next week, but you know what the seniors are like. They are always too busy to actually do anything in house when they say that they’re going to.” I breathe out deeply. “And work sucks. I’m having a terrible time at the moment. I have this new client that I can now see Grant dumped on me for a very good reason…”

“Grant passed a client off to you?” Robyn widens her eyes in shock. “That’s not like him.”

“I know, right? Especially just before a partner meeting. I thought that it was strange too, but now I can understand it fully. He’s trying to stitch me up.” I speak so rapidly and angrily that I don’t think Robyn gets every single word which I can tell from her blank nodding at me. “Anyway, now I’m stuck working for Evan Debroils and he’s an asshole.” I shake my head. “An utter asshole.”

“So, you’re working for someone who you don’t like?” Oh, it seems Robyn picked up on some of it. “Why don’t you just tell him where to go? That’s what I would do?”

“Well, it just doesn’t work like that. I can’t just turn him away, not so close to a partner meeting. I have to somehow just make it work. Even if he’s infuriating, and he makes me seriously mad.”

“How come?” Robyn sucks on the straw and gives me a curious look before leaning back in to hear me properly. “What’s he like? This Evan guy…?”

“Arrogant, annoying, he doesn’t want to hear anything that I have to say.” I feel like I’m letting out the tension bit by bit as I rant. “He even got annoyed when I turned up instead of Grant and I’m sure it’s because I’m a woman.”

“Yeah, I get all of that. Rich asshole. What I’m asking is what does he look like?”

“Oh.” I purse my lips and shrug. “I guess he’s the typical tall, dark, and handsome type. He certainly seems to have all the women in his office fluttering around him like bees near honey.”

“Ooh, he sounds hot. I like the sound of him.” Robyn shifts playfully in her seat. “Do you think that maybe you might like him?”

“Huh?” My cheeks flame as I even consider the possibility. “Do I like him? No way, I don’t like him at all. He’s horrible. One of the worst people that I’ve ever had to work with.”

“But you just said that he was good looking?”

Much as I really didn’t say that at all, I don’t bother to argue. Not on that point anyway because I know that he is good looking if you don’t consider his personality. If I hadn’t ever spoken to him and I saw him in a place like this, then maybe I would think him handsome. But I do know him and I don’t like him at all. Plus, I don’t think he would ever come to a place like this anyway. He’s the sort of man that would be more comfortable in a high class joint with expensive champagne behind the bar and supermodels dotted around, looking for men to hook up with.

He will probably take one of those supermodels home with him as well. Of course, he will. I mean he is a good looking rich guy, and girls who like that sort of thing don’t care about personality. They just want someone gorgeous with a fit body who knows what they’re doing in the bedroom. He’ll have his hands all over the woman in a second, touching her flushed skin, brushing over her breasts, pushing his firm abs and his thick cock up against her…

God damn it what is wrong with me? I need to get a grip. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been laid in a long time, I haven’t had time to get with anyone so I’m a little bit needy. That’s why there’s a buzzing in my underwear that hasn’t got anything to do with the music, it has nothing to do with the arrogant Evan. I don’t care about him at all.

“I don’t know,” I finally say to Robyn, needing to say something. “I don’t know what I think about him, I’ll just keep my head down and continue going until the partner meeting comes up.”

“But…” Robyn bites down on her bottom lip as if she’s uncomfortable with whatever she’s about to say next. “But what happens if you don’t get it?”

My stomach drops out. I feel a sickness swirling. I keep trying my hardest not to think about that possibility but it’s there all the time. Robyn reminding me on my damn birthday is just a killer move. I know she isn’t trying to be cruel, but that’s the effect that it’s had on me all the same. I just want to shrivel up into a ball and weep like a baby. The thought of my life without that partnership title will be awful. I know I’ve been all brave and tried to consider what it’ll be like if Grant gets the job, but the reality… I don’t know if I can handle it. Can I go back to taking on all the shitty bits of work knowing that I could have been the one dealing it out?

“I don’t know,” I whisper back. “I don’t know what will happen.”

“You’ll survive it, you know that.” Robyn touches my arm softly and gives me a loving smile, supporting me through and through. “You’re strong enough to get through anything.”

“I don’t know about that,” I admit. “I don’t know if I can. I feel like I’ve put so much into this that it’ll kill me if I don’t get it.” Tears ball up behind my eyes, I feel like I could cry at any given moment. “Sorry, I don’t want to get emotional, especially not tonight…”

“You need to dance.” Robyn decides to give up on talking and she grabs onto my arm. “Come on, you need to let go a bit. You’re so tightly wound up, you need to let loose.”

I really don’t want to, but it’s either that or sit in a chair weeping like a baby, in a club on my birthday. Crying over work is sad enough anyway, doing it on my one and only night out in forever, is just plain pathetic. If Evan is going to be out hooking up with supermodels – not that it matters one bit what he’s doing – and Grant is going to be at home with his perfect girlfriend, plotting my demise, then I need to try and have some fun. Enjoy myself before everything goes to shit again.

I let Robyn drag me up until we reach the other group of people then I sway my hips in time to the music. I feel uncomfortable, especially when everyone else looks so carefree, but I stick to it. Luckily, I have some alcohol floating through my system – not too much because I do have to be in the office tomorrow morning to catch up on some work – so I can get over my inhibitions and have some fun. I can dance and enjoy my birthday like a normal person would.

Men dance around us, some of them try to infiltrate our group as we dance, but none of the girls let them for which I’m really glad. I’m having enough of a nightmare dealing with Evan and Grant, the two men currently in my life, I don’t need any more. None of them are attractive enough to catch my eye anyway, not when I’ve spent a whole week with someone who is basically an Adonis.

No, I can’t think about him… I need to concentrate on having fun.

I listen only to the music, forgetting about the world as much as I can, and eventually I sort of manage to have some fun. It isn’t like me at all, but that’s the good thing about this night. I’m stepping out of my shell and doing something completely different. This is what people do, isn’t it? This what all the people who work normal jobs do… they enjoy themselves as much as possible.

“Thank you for this,” I eventually lean in and say to Robyn. “This is the best birthday ever.”

She grips onto my hand and smiles at me. My heart explodes with love for this woman as she does. I’m so lucky to have her, I’m so glad that she’s stuck around for me when no one else has. “I’m glad you’re having a good time. You deserve to have a nice birthday.”

I part my lips, ready to thank her and to say something about her being the best friend ever, but before I get the chance to do so, Jon comes back and he circles his arms around Robyn’s waist, holding her close to him and my chest aches painfully. I am so happy for Robyn, she deserves to find someone nice, but she just reminds me that I still have absolutely no one. I don’t have anyone wanting to hold me, wanting to hug me, wanting to love me.

I’m lonely, I think sadly to myself as I look away. I am really lonely. This suck and the worst part is I want to do something about it, but I just don’t have the time.

Chapter Seven – Evan

“Goodnight, my big handsome boy,” I say to Liam as I rub his dark hair gently between my finger tips. “I’m glad I got to see you off to sleep tonight.”

“Yeah, I usually miss you at bed time, Daddy. It’s nice to have you here.”

I stare down at my son with love in my heart. I know that I’m lucky to have a selection of some wonderful nannies to help me with raising him, and they’re doing a really good job of it, but I wish it could be me. I wish I could find the time and the space to be the one to raise him but I can’t… and that’s because looking at him hurts me as much as it makes me happy.

Actually, no, that isn’t what I wish at all. I wish that his mother, Victoria was still alive and everything was as it’s supposed to be. I shouldn’t be a single father, she shouldn’t have been taken from me just after my son was born, but unfortunately that’s exactly what happened.

When I first met Victoria, it was very much just a sexual thing. We didn’t have much in common aside from an explosive physical chemistry so that’s all it became. Every few days we would meet for a hook up and then we would go our separate ways. That is until she fell pregnant…

At first, we had no idea what to do. We had to give it a go because it was the right thing to do for our unborn child. It wasn’t always easy but we made it work. There were arguments and hard times but we had a reason to stay together and because of that we stuck it out.

Then Liam was born and everything felt perfect. I proposed to Victoria in the hospital bedroom and we started planning our wedding right away. It was going to be the event of the year, we were both so excited for it. The wedding that would ultimately take everything from me…

My mom and dad took Victoria out to pick out her wedding dress on the day that the accident happened. I was so excited all day long, I loved having baby Liam all to myself for a while, and I knew how thrilled Victoria was. It didn’t even register in my brain that they had taken a long time, I just thought they were having a good time in the city center. It wasn’t until the cops came to the door with the hideous life changing information that a drunk driver caused a pile up on the freeway that crushed the car with three of the most important people in my life inside. I lost everything and I changed that day too. I became hard on the outside, I turned off my emotions, and I became the man I am now.

Now, every time I look at my boy, I see my wife. I see my parents. I see all the people that are missing from my life and it kills me. Maybe that’s why I spend so much time at the office. I want to create a bigger and better life for Liam, I want him to have it all, but I also don’t want him to see the pain in my eyes every time we share a glance. He doesn’t remember his mom at all, which is good and sad all at once, and I don’t want him to see how much I think of her all the time when I see him. He just looks so much like her, it kills me.

“I’m sorry, Liam,” I say while kissing him on the head. “I will try and be home more often. It’s just crazy at work at the moment. You know how it is.”

Of course, he doesn’t know how it is, he’s only almost six years old. I shouldn’t have said that, but sometimes I’m a little awkward around him. Especially when I feel guilty which right now is my biggest emotion. I feel horrible for being so absent.

“Good, because then I can tell you all about my stuff at school. I’ve been learning all about space and the moon and I have lots to talk about. I know all the planets, there’s Mars and Jupiter. There’s also Neptune, and… and…”

His face lights up as he talks and I can see how excited he is to have me around. It makes me feel terrible that I’ve been spending so much time at the office recently, I know I should be back here in time for bed every single night. None of the nannies ever suggest that I will be because they know I can’t always promise that I will, especially when a late night conference calls crop up, but I’m now going to make a promise to myself that I will try more often. I won’t tell Liam, I’ll just start doing it. He’s already lost his mom, he doesn’t need to lose me as well.

“That sounds great, you do have to go to sleep right now but you can tell me all about it in the morning. Does that sound good? I’ll wait for breakfast and we can talk about it then.”

“Okay, Daddy, goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Son.” I kiss him on the head again. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he murmurs sleepily. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

I step back and switch off the light but I don’t leave his bedroom right away. I prop myself up against the door frame and watch as he slides his eyes closed and he drifts into a deep sleep which I hope brings happy dreams along with it. I don’t want him to know the horror of real life, especially when he has already been through so much himself already. Even if he doesn’t realize it yet, it’ll hit him soon that he has no mother or grandparents. I’m dreading the day when he asks me all about it. Every single mother’s day, I brace myself for the questions, but so far they haven’t yet come.

After a while I give up staring at my adorable little boy and I make my way down the stairs where I will spend a long evening alone dealing with work stuff. Mostly, the things that Katy has given me to look at. There’s a whole lot of restructuring plans that I need to lay out for her by Monday, and I don’t want to fuck it up. She might think that I’m a bit of an arrogant asshole with her because there’s a lot that I just can’t negotiate, but I do take this seriously. I do need this to work.

As I hit the bottom step, I make my way towards the kitchen and I grab a tumbler from the cupboard. I won’t drink much alcohol because I’m home alone with Liam, but I do need just one to steady my nerves., I remember way back when, I used to spend my Friday nights out in seedy night clubs, dancing away, hitting on the hottest chick in the bar, then it would usually be on to an after party where things would get really crazy…I never would have expected my weekends to end up like this. Me at home with my baby boy, wondering if I’m allowed to feel just a little bit lonely.

This is why I’m glad to have Ally around, because she helps to starve off the loneliness and the sexual frustration, and she doesn’t want anything more. I don’t know if she knows about Liam, but she hasn’t ever asked. She doesn’t want to get to know me, she doesn’t want me to be her boyfriend, she’s just content to have fun. I can fuck around with her in the office, then come back home and have my real life. It’s like the best of both worlds.

I thought I was content with that too, I always have been, but now there’s something about it that feels a little hollow. I don’t want to pursue things with her, but I don’t know if I’ happy to just keep fooling around either. I feel a bit dissatisfied with all of it, and knowing that Liam isn’t happy with me being away from the house so much either makes it even worse. I would love nothing more than to give him that full family unit, but how can I make that happen? Without Victoria, that just isn’t ever going to happen. When she died, she took away the chance for that to happen so now me and Liam are stuck. We’re in this rut now, and that’s all there is to it.

“Right.” I shake my head and knock my drink back, before making me way over to the table where I have all my work set out in front of me. “Let’s get to this.”

I rub my head hard and stare down at the white bits of paper as the words upon them start to swim in front of me. I guess I’m tired and weary with it all. I really want to settle down and come up with a miraculous plan that solves everything, but it just isn’t happening. I’m too stuck in the detail that I don’t want to lose my business. It’s almost as if I can’t see the bigger picture.

I stare at my cell phone wondering if it’s too late for me to call Katy with some questions. She said that I always can, but it is a Friday night. I don’t know much about her but for all I know she could be out on the town living it up. I know most lawyers are too busy for a social life like that, but Katy might be different. She might somehow manage to be a kick ass lawyer and a social butterfly at the same time.

I don’t need to call her, I tell myself angrily. I can do this by myself.

The thing is, I don’t think I necessarily need to call her, I think I might want to. She seems to care about this working out just as much as I do, and while she might have her own agenda for that it’s nice to have someone who’s solely on my side. I want to hear her reassuring voice, I want her to tell me that she’s going to make sure that everything is okay. I just want to hear her whatever she has to say. I can’t believe I was actually disappointed when she came into my office instead of Grant. Now, I actually like her a whole lot more. I think I will always prefer her and choose her first.

For a moment, I wonder what it would be like if she was here. I never invite women back to my home for obvious reasons. There’s no way in hell that I’m ever going to introduce random women that I sleep with to my son, but I try to picture how Katy would fit in here. Is this the sort of house that she would like, or would she think that it’s too much? Would she assume that I’m flash, or maybe she loves somewhere just like this? Maybe she earns just as much money as me. I mean, I guess not, but she might be wealthy enough. I don’t know why she would even be here anyway, what would she be doing? Working? No, that would be weird and there’s nothing else that would bring her here.

I sigh loudly, I need to stop thinking about her. It’s getting a little weird. She’s just my lawyer, she isn’t the sort of person that I’m ever going to have even a friendship with. This is just a distraction, a way to procrastinate from what really needs to be done. I need to work until this is set, until I know exactly what I want to do.

Chapter Eight – Katy

“Yeah, okay. I see what you mean,” Evan admits with a regretful smile. “I guess that’s what I’ll have to do. I know that I’ve been a bit difficult to work with, it’s just that this business is important to me, it’s like my baby and I’ve built it up from almost nothing. I know that I need to downsize but actually turning that into a plan is something else. Seeing it just makes it that much more real, you know?” His face is a mask, but I can see the cracks through it, that run deeper than he’s saying. “But yes, if you think that’s right then that’s right.”

I feel a little bad actually. I don’t want to hurt his feelings by suggesting these changes, especially when it seems like he’s more invested in this than I’ve ever seen before, but I don’t have much of a choice. I’ve seen and worked with many business owners in my time and never have I worked with someone so dedicated before. It seems that the business drives him more than the money which is unusual. Still, sometimes things have to be said, I have to be cruel to be kind.

“I do think you’re going to have to consider shutting areas down and I know the ones that I’ve suggested might be close to your heart, but they’re the ones that aren’t performing as well.”

I watch intently as Evan nods slowly, my heart fluttering the entire time. I don’t know what’s making me so nervous about his answer, but there’s something strange going on inside my chest. I’m confident in what I’ve suggested, there’s no doubt about that, it’s just making him understand it.

I need to drive the point home. “I’m looking at this from the point of view of the banks. When you meet with them to ask for more time to sort out your financial situation you need to do it fully armed. Having a strong plan that shows how willing to change you are is a big step towards that.”

Evans lifts his eyes to look at me and as our gazes connect I feel a powerful jolt in my chest. I could try to ignore it, to pretend that it never happened, but if I’m honest with myself this isn’t the first time that’s happened. I’ve been feeling all kinds of conflicting emotions around him since I very first laid eyes on him. Sometimes I hate his guts, he drives me insane with his terrible attitude, but there are other occasions such as this one where I feel that maybe Robyn might be right. I might actually like Evan. After all, he’s gorgeous, he has a certain charm to him and a powerful charisma, and also, he makes little almost flirty comments that make me tingle all over.

Despite the fact that I know it’s wrong, quite frankly it’s a bit of relief. I’ve been stuck on the unattainable Grant for so long that I was starting to worry that he’s the only person I can be attracted to. I can’t recall having a crush or a tingly feeling with another person for years. It’s just a shame that it’s happened now with someone else that I can’t act upon my feelings with. Evan is also out of reach, even if he wanted something to happen too. We couldn’t even fool around to get it out of our systems. Messing about with a client is like the number one no go in the lawyer ethics hand book… the one with all the unwritten rules, I mean, it just isn’t done. I can’t start breaking rules now.

“Good job you’re as smart as you are beautiful,” Evan says with a wink.

From anyone else I wouldn’t like these comments that fly at me every so often, catching me off guard, but I can’t help getting a cheap thrill when Evan speaks to me like that. I still think it’s the lack of male attention that I’ve had forever, but that doesn’t make it any less fun. “What would I do without you?” he says.

My cheeks heat up and I fix my eyes on the papers in front of me for a moment. “Oh well, I don’t know about that… I’m just trying to do my job.” I cringe, noticing how dorky I sound, but what else can I do? I can’t respond in any similar way. I have to behave myself. I suck at flirting anyway, so it’s probably a good thing. This man who undoubtedly spends every night with a different supermodel isn’t going to be impressed by me anyway. “Trying to save you your business.”

Evan tips his chair slightly so his head moves closer to me so I can feel his breath tickling my cheek. That causes a ball to form in my throat as I’m paralyzed to the spot. I only have to look at Evan to know that he’s thinking some terrible thoughts. His eyelids have grown heavy and there’s a glaze over his eyes. Despite the fact that I’m much more plain and boring than he’s used to with my scraped back dark hair and my make up free face, plus this pant suit that doesn’t exactly show off my body, Evan seems to find me attractive and that thought alone is almost intoxicating…

Knock, knock.

Me and Evan leap apart like we’ve been electrocuted as someone knocks at the door. I can feel all the color drain from my face as I try to refocus my eyes on the papers in front of me. All the images and words written down might be swimming everywhere but I’m doing what I can to at least look like I’m busy. I have no idea what almost did or didn’t happen with Evan but then I’m glad we got interrupted. My brain nearly switched off then, I nearly acted on impulse, and that would have been utterly dreadful. I could have screwed up everything, my non-existent love life and my budding career.

“Come in,” Evan calls out in gruff, slightly strained voice.

“It’s only me,” Ally’s sing song voice rings through the office. I almost roll my eyes at the sound of her voice. She seems to want to make it very obvious to me that she has some kind of stake on Evan which is just fine by me. She can have him, I can’t. I don’t want him anyway, not really…

“Oh hi, Ally, is erm…” Evans sounds uncomfortable. “Is everything okay?”

“Oh yeah, it’s fine.” She steps closer to him, right up into his personal space which is a place that she seems to be very familiar with, and she brushes something off his shoulders. It’s a familiar gesture that makes my heart pang with that loneliness again. I want someone to touch like that. “I just wanted to remind you that you have that call… later on.” That seems to be some not too subtle code with them two. She’s always going on about calls. “I just wanted to see if you’re going to be ready or not, or do you need me to reschedule it.”

Her words make me feel silly. I don’t want to get tangled up in some love triangle. In a way, I’m already in one – not that the other two people know about me – so I don’t want to add to that drama. Luckily, I won’t have to see Evan forever, he isn’t like Grant, so soon enough I can push all of this to the back of my mind and never think about it again.

“I need to go actually,” I announce while leaping up. “I’m sure you are busy with all your calls.” I don’t meet with either of their eyes while I make my passive aggressive remark. “And I have stuff that I need to do as well. I’ll take my paper work with me and leave your bits for you to complete…”

“But, Katy,” Evan interrupts, sounding a little sad. I shouldn’t be satisfied that he doesn’t want me to leave but I can’t help myself. “I thought we were going to have lunch later on?”

“We were?” I shake my head, vaguely recalling a conversation about food but I didn’t think that it was anything set in stone. “I don’t think I can. I think we both need to take a break from this today and come back to it with fresh eyes in the morning, after a good night of sleep.”

I’m torn. Part of me wants to stand my ground just to show Ally that I can’t be intimidated by her. I don’t want to play her game but I also don’t want her to win. On the other hand, the much more rational side of me just wants to get the hell away from this weird and confusing situation. I don’t want to be near Evan while he’s making me feel all odd inside, and I also don’t want to see Ally looking at me like I couldn’t ever compete with her even if I wanted to. I already know that, I don’t need reminding. No one would ever look at a drab old me over her. I’m irrelevant, but I don’t need to be reminded. I need to just go, I need to get out of here while I still have a tiny bit of dignity.

“Oh, right, I see. So, we could just do lunch another day then?”

This isn’t something that I need to have a working lunch for, I’m not a client that he’s trying to win over and I haven’t even really done anything that he needs to thank me for either. It seems he just really wants to take me for lunch. It’s been so long since anyone’s wanted to feed me that I can’t help feeling intrigued. I want to know more about Evan Debroils, I want to know more about what he’s like out of this office… if he ever leaves. He seems to be a workaholic, just like me.

“Fine,” I reply while swinging my handbag over my shoulder. “Let’s do lunch tomorrow then.”

Evan’s face lights up, he looks like a child who’s just woken up on Christmas morning to lots of presents. The sight of him makes my heart race at a million miles an hour in my chest. It causes a warmth to explode from my heart and to trickle through all of my veins. My mouth runs dry and for a moment it’s as if I can’t get enough air in my lungs to breathe properly.

I cannot like him, I think determinedly to myself. I need to stop this now. It’s silly, I’m like a hormonal school girl. I’m an adult now, I need to act as such.

“See you tomorrow then,” he tells me with a smile. “I look forward to it. Meeting in the morning, then lunch. I’ll take you somewhere nice since you’ve worked so hard for me.”

“Great.” Oh God, he’s making my heart hurt. I want him too much. “See you then.”

“Yeah,” Ally joins in through gritted teeth, reminding me that she’s here. “See you tomorrow, it’s been really great to have you here.”

She hates me, but that doesn’t mean I have to act like her. “See you then, Ally, thank you. That’s very find of you to say.”

She is another reason why I can’t ever like Evan, not that I really need a reason. She likes him, they have or are probably sleeping together which I’ve noticed every single day that I’ve been here. It’s messy, much too messy and full of drama for me.

It’s much better for me to keep my distance as much as I can until all of this is over. Work is fine, lunch is okay if maybe pushing it a bit, but that’s all. If I keep this simple and I push all my emotions down, then I might just survive this unscathed.

Hopefully!

Chapter Nine – Evan

Oh my God, what is wrong with me? I think with a smirk as I take my seat opposite Katy in the cozy little Italian restaurant I’ve chosen for lunch. This isn’t a date, it’s just a normal business meal.

I know that, I’m not an idiot. Just because I’m paying for this out of my own money rather than the business expenses doesn’t make it any less of a work thing, so I don’t understand why I feel so giddy inside. Last night I could barely sleep, I just kept thinking about what it would be like to be alone with Katy in a much more relaxed atmosphere. I lay awake in my bed all night long planning what I would say to ensure that we don’t have an awkward silence. Then all morning I’ve spent wired, like an excitable bunny. Even Katy has noticed it, it’s embarrassing. It’s as if I’m on my first date ever! It’s crazy. I can’t work out why I’m being such a freak.

Once my butt hits the chair, I cough to try and cover up the rapid breaths falling out of my mouth. I also want to cover up the noise my heart is making as it rattles against my rib cage, trying to burst free from my chest. I wish I could be as cool as I normally am, this suck!

“This is a nice place,” Katy tells me with a thin smile. “Do you come here a lot?”

I can see what she’s asking, she wants to probe if I bring a lot of women here. I can see why she’d think that because it has got much more of a romantic date like feel to it than what I really planned for. There are candles in the middle of each table, which are lit despite the fact that it’s mid-afternoon, the tables are small which means we’re sitting quite close to each other, and the high backs to the chair give quite a private, intimate feel. I suppose this is the sort of place that I’d bring a date. Not that I ever date. Even in the old days when I used to fool around a lot I didn’t really date.

“No, I came here once with a business colleague,” I tell her honestly. “But I think we sat at a much bigger table, this feels a bit too close, doesn’t it?” I figure I should just address it so she doesn’t feel awkward. “Do you want me to ask if we can move?”

“Oh no, it’s fine. I’m too hungry to start moving tables,” Katy laughs as she picks up a menu. “It’s been so long since I’ve eaten something that didn’t come out of a take away carton that I’m just too excited for words. I think I can hear my stomach growling.”

As her eyes devour the menu it seems like it’s the best thing that she’s ever seen, I examine her closely. It’s nice to be able to look at her without her eyes glaring back at me like she’s trying to work out what I’m thinking. She’s so inquisitive all the time, like she needs to know everything in my brain. I don’t know if it’s the lawyer in her, or if she’s simply a control freak like me. I feel the same way, I suppose. I want to know everything that’s going on inside her mind, but I’m so busy being closed off myself that I can’t read her. I can’t let her into my life for obvious reasons, but I wonder why she’s so shut off. She’s got such high walls, it’s crazy. I wish I could break them down.

She’s so beautiful when she doesn’t think anyone’s looking at her. When her walls are down and her face is relaxed, she’s truly the most stunning woman that I’ve ever seen. I just want to cup her face in my hands and kiss her hard. Even when she has her usual style of scraped back hair and no make-up on, she’s still gorgeous, but today she’s allowed her freshly washed hair to spill down her back and it looks like she might actually have a little bit of make-up highlighting her eyes. I don’t know if she’s done that because of lunch, or because of me, but it excites me.

“I think I might have a calzone,” Katy finally looks at me with a grin. “They look really good here. What did you have the last time you came?”

“Oh, a pizza from what I remember. Or maybe it was pasta. I can’t remember. It was good though, everything here is good from what I’ve heard.”

At that moment, the waiter comes over and interrupts me from getting into a full blown weird rant about why everything tastes so nice. I’m acting so odd, like this is the first time that I’ve ever spoken to a woman in my entire life. I don’t know what’s happened to the cool, calm, and collected version of me that I am usually. Who am I now? What is going on? Katy has turned me into a school boy with a crush, like a nerd who’s trying to talk to a cheerleader.

It must be because she isn’t falling at my feet, that’s all I can think of. She hasn’t yet flashed flirty eyes at me, and she hasn’t draped over me. I’m not used to it and it has me hooked. I guess that leaves me with two pressing choices, either I keep things in the professional manner that they should be and I behave like an adult. After all, I need Katy, she’s doing the most important work for me that anyone has ever done, I don’t want to do anything that could stop her continuing on my case or I really will lose everything… or I could flirt harder. I could make her admit her feelings for me to herself and I could try and get her walls to come crashing down around her.

Urgh, this choice is so much harder than it needs to be. It’s driving me nuts.

Once the waiter leaves, I stare at Katy hard and she notices. I must be giving her such an intense look that she can’t even act polite and pretend that I’m not being odd.

“Is something going on?” she asks me curiously. “You’re… looking at me strangely.”

This is it, my moment to make a choice. Do I act like an adult or do I act like a horny teenager with absolutely no control? Rationality and my natural impulse battles itself inside me hard.

“I’m just… looking at you,” I answer pitifully, not really picking a side. “You’re…”

“Yeah,” she replies raspily, shocking me. “I think I know what you mean.”

That stuns me into silence. I wasn’t expecting that. Does she know what I mean? Does she feel the same way about me? She’s obviously being cryptic because of the professional relationship that we have, but just knowing that she feels something calms me down just a little bit. Maybe I don’t need to know anything more, maybe that’s enough…

But as we look at each other and I feel that deep stirring in my chest, I know this isn’t enough. I know I want more. I can almost feel my fingers itching to reach forward, to grab her, to tear off her clothes and to kiss every damn inch of her skin. I don’t even mind that we’re in public, everyone can damn well watch if they want… actually no, I don’t like that at all. If things ever were to go that way with Katy I wouldn’t want it to be something seedy like what I’ve had with Ally. I’d want it to be something special, something different. Oh my God, what is wrong with me? I think again.

“So, do you have any questions for me?” Katy asks me with a question in her eyes. “Is there anything you want to know about the plans we’re setting out?”

Right, business. That’s what we’re here to discuss, so that’s what we should focus on. It really doesn’t matter if we’re sharing feelings with each other, work comes first. “I don’t know, I don’t think so. You’ve been really clear on everything.”

“Good, good. Right. Well now we just need to get some official documents drawn up. I need to make some calls to some people, and you need to get some signatures, but after that we’re almost ready for our meeting. That’s pretty good, right?”

I nod, not really having anything to contribute to this conversation now. I really feel like we’ve covered everything this morning. “Yes, that is good. I’m… excited.”

I don’t know how excited I am actually. Mostly I’m just nervous. I’m anxious about all of these changes that will affect my company that I’m not controlling. Maybe I did push too hard, too quickly and I created a mess of things, but that was my decision. Everything I did, I decided. Now this is all going to be controlled by everyone else. The banks are going to be agreeing on what I can and can’t do, and I’m just going to have to agree on it. It sucks. I don’t like it at all. The banks don’t know about my father and all the heart that he put into it, they don’t understand why I want to keep certain aspects of it as it is. They’re just going to be heartless and do what they think will make the most money.

I hate it, but I have to go along with it.

Katy seems to sense my anxiety because she reaches forward and she touches my hand. “It will be okay. You do know that, right? You can trust me. I will make this work for you. I actually have a lot riding on it myself, you know, this isn’t all about you.”

As she lets out a laugh, I can hear the strain there. There’s something to that comment, and I need to know what it is. “You do, huh?” I ask while I lean in closer to listen to her.

“I do actually.” Her cheeks taint pink. “I’m up for partner at the law firm.”

I don’t know what that means, I don’t really speak lawyer, but I’m sure it spells out promotion. “Well that’s great news. You definitely deserve it since you are so amazing at your job. In fact, who do I need to call to put in a good word for you? Who do I need to discuss your amazing abilities with to make this partner thing happen for you?”

Katy giggles appreciatively and she tucks stray strands of hair behind her ear. “Oh well that’s really kind of you. But you can’t put in a call for me, I haven’t really done anything yet. We don’t know which way it’s going to go. I’m not saying that I’m going to fail, I’m just saying we can’t kiss any ass yet… even if I need to be made partner desperately.”

“Oh well with you in charge I do know. I’m sure you’re going to kick ass for me. In fact, I’m banking on it. And you should be a partner, you deserve it.”

She smiles at me, the sweetest grin that I’ve ever seen in my life and she thanks me. As she speaks I stare at her lips with a deep fixation. Katy has the most gorgeous mouth that I’ve ever seen. I want to kiss her. That urge keeps washing powerfully over me, almost knocking me from my seat. I don’t think this is just something I want to do because she hasn’t let me yet, I think I might really like her a lot. I think I might be developing feelings for the first person in years. I don’t know if that’s something I can ignore.

Shit, I’m a mess. What am I going to do?

Chapter Ten – Katy

I can feel something happening between me and Evan. It’s been happening all day long. Something powerful is changing between us, and I don’t know what to do about it. I could feel something underlying under the surface all morning, but we had business to distract us then. Lunch has been a different matter. We haven’t had anything else to take our focus off one another. Even when we’ve tried to talk about something else, the tension has still been there.

“Thank you for lunch,” I say with a bright smile as Evan comes back from the counter where he’s paid the waitress. “That was really nice of you. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Oh, it’s just a work meal,” he plays it off. “I can claim it as business.”

I don’t think he’s going to do that, not when the company is in so much trouble, but I let him get away with his lie because it’s much easier than challenging it when things are all strange.

“Well thank you, it’s still very nice of you.” I tug my coat around my shoulders. “Do you want to get back to the office now? We still have stuff we can do this afternoon…”

“Yeah, I suppose so.” Evan shrugs his shoulders. “I mean I need to get back to get stuff done, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to. You can take the rest of the day off if you want?”

“Oh yeah, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll take the rest of the day off,” I reply sarcastically. “I don’t know if you know many lawyers, but we never get afternoon off. Even if I’m not working with you, I’ll have to go back to my office and be buried under paper work.” The thought of how much paper I probably have piled up in my tray makes me shudder. “There’s never any down time.”

“Never? Ooh that sounds horrible. I mean, I know that I’m always at work but that’s my choice. It’s my business. Doing it for someone else would drive me mad.”

“Yeah well.” I sigh loudly. “That’s why I need to be made partner. Then things won’t be so stressful. I won’t be so busy. I might actually get something of my life back.”

Evan gives me a sidelong glance. “Are you sure that’s going to be the case? Are you certain that you’ll be less busy once you’re a partner?” he asks me observantly. “Are you sure it won’t just get a million times worse? I don’t know much about the law world, but they always seem busy.”

That’s a reality that I want to face even less than the idea of not being made a partner at all. I don’t want to get my dream, I don’t want to achieve my goal just to learn that it isn’t what I think it’s going to be. I don’t know how my fragile ego will be able to take that.

“I don’t know,” I admit for the first time, letting out fear I didn’t know was there. “I hope so, I’ve been working towards that goal with that idea in mind so I kind of really need it to work out.”

Evan walks next to me silently for a few moments, seemingly stuck in his own thoughts. I want to ask him what he’s thinking, I want to know if he knows something about the law world that I can’t see because I’m so stuck in the middle of it, but I can’t quite find the words.

“You know what, you should come and work with me for the afternoon, I think that’ll be awesome. We do have stuff that we need to get done anyway and I don’t like the idea of you stuck in an office alone, buried under paper work. I know you might think that you need to get all of that done, but I’m supposed to be your most important client, remember?”

I laugh, unable to stop myself and I nod. He’s right that I need to get to work because I have so much to do, but I can also justify my time with Evan because he is such an important client. The idea of being with him is so much more appealing than anyone else anyway. His presence, while confusing and filled with conflicting emotions, is preferable to being near anyone else. Even Grant… God I never thought that day would come. I’ve always wanted to be near Grant. This is mad.

“Sure,” I reply with a nervous gulp. “That sounds good.”

Before we can take another step, Evan spins to face me with an inquisitive look in his eyes, which causes me to stop in my tracks. We’re in the middle of the busy sidewalk with people rushing past us, but in that moment, it just feels like it’s only the two of us. The rest of the world melts away and I lose myself in his eyes. This is a moment that I could live in forever more, quite happily.

He takes a step closer with his hands outstretched and I find my body being magnetically pulled towards him as well. I have no idea what’s happening, but I do want to find out. Even if it’s wrong and we both end up in a complicated mess, I just want to know…

Is he going to kiss me? I ask myself as his hands brush my cheeks. Is this really happening? I fall into a trance, the sensation of his hands holding onto my cheeks switching off my brain completely. All I want to do is fall into his embrace, I want him to hold me, I want to know what it’s like to be the girl in his arms, I want to succumb to the temptation that’s been circling between us ever since we first met, I want to do the taboo thing and actually have some fun for once, screw the consequences.

I rise up onto my tip toes as my heart hammers violently against my rib cage. My lips purse without me even thinking about it, getting themselves ready to get the prize and finally kiss Evan…

Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

His cell phone blasts out, interrupting us both, which breaks the magic of the moment completely and causes me and Evan to fall apart as reality creeps back in. We really shouldn’t be this close, we cannot be kissing. His phone ringing actually happened at exactly the right moment then, it stopped us from doing something incredibly stupid. Something we would have regretted for sure.

“I better answer this,” he says in a shaky tone of voice. “It might be… important.”

Back to the secret phone calls, of course. Just another reason why me and Evan are incompatible. I need these reasons. “Yes, of course, you answer away. I’ll just wait here.”

He steps to the side of a building and he talks quietly into the handset. I don’t listen but I couldn’t hear even if I wanted to. Let him have his crazy secret little life, it’s probably a wife or something equally crazy. The rich asshole types who are sleeping with their secretaries usually do have wives. Instead I use the time to remind myself that me and Evan are in public and we are also working together, so we need to behave as such. We can’t be kissing or even almost kissing, it just isn’t right.

Once Evan comes back to me, he keeps his cell phone pointed in my direction which is strange. During the short time that I’ve spent with him he’s always really weird about his phone, keeping it close to him. Now, I can see a little insight into his life and what I see isn’t expected at all.

“Who’s that?” I ask while pointing to the phone screen. “Who’s that young boy?”

His face pales, he looks a little freaked out by my question which only piques my interest even more. “Oh, well I don’t tell many people about this, because you know, it’s my private life and everything but it’s…” He pauses and breaths deep, seemingly panicking. “He’s my son.”

My heart falls out of my shoes, I don’t know what to think. He has a son? I mean, I know I thought that he might have a wife, but a child…? That’s something else. He’s like an actual family man. All of a sudden, the image I have of him out screwing a different supermodel every night shatters into nothing. Maybe I’ve misjudged him and he isn’t like that at all.

“You have a son?” I ask quietly. “I didn’t know that. I mean, of course I didn’t know that. You’ve just said that you don’t tell anyone… but wow.” I glance up at him, the shock plastered across my face. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m shocked but I am. You have a son.”

“Yeah well,” he shrugs. “I don’t make it obvious to everyone because I want to protect my son. He’s already been through so much in life, with losing his mother.”

“He… he lost his mother?” I feel like I’ve been gut punched. I really did get Evan wrong. Not only does he have a son who he raises single handedly while running a business – well probably with a bunch of nannies, but without a wife – he’s also lost someone that he loved.

“Er, yeah.” He seems uncomfortable, like he’s just realized what he’s said. “She died in a car crash… with my parents in the car too. They were on the way to pick up Victoria’s wedding dress.”

I’m gob smacked. Utterly silence. What am I supposed to say about something like that? I haven’t ever been through something so emotional in my life, I don’t feel like I have any experience to draw upon. “I... I’m so sorry,” I eventually reply lamely, cringing as I speak. “I can’t even begin to imagine what that must have been like. It sounds awful. You must be very brave.”

“I cope,” he replies with a thin smile. “Some days I don’t feel like I am coping, but I try.”

I nod slowly, wondering how I managed to get Evan all wrong. Part of being a lawyer is being able to read people well, it’s about understanding the complexities of the people that I’m working with, but all I’ve done is judge Evan on my very incorrect first impression of him. Because of his money and his attitude, I thought that he was something that he isn’t, and now I feel horrible about myself.

I cock my head to one side, seeing Evan in a totally different light. This is a man who loves his business, who works hard because he has a son to raise alone because the boy’s mother died in the same accident that killed his parents, and he hides all that from the rest of the world.

No wonder he’s been having sex with Ally, I think wryly to myself. He probably needs to blow off some damn steam!

The realization that Evan is actually this incredible guy makes me want to revert back to where we were before when his hands were on my cheeks and we were moments away from kissing. I want to kiss him now, I want all the complications surrounding us to vanish so we can just be to ourselves but of course that isn’t ever going to happen.

Damn it, now I like him even more. This is such a mess.

“We, erm, we should probably get going, right?” I ask with a bright, fake smile on my face. “We have a lot of work to do, right?”

Evan looks disappointed, but he nods. “Sure, yes, we do. Lots of work to do.” He grabs onto my arm to stop me, before we can make it to the office. My breath hitches in my throat as I think he might be about to give me what I so desperately want… but then he talks instead. “Please don’t tell anyone what I told you, about my son I mean. I don’t want that to become common knowledge.”

“No, of course I won’t,” I reassure him rapidly. “Your secret is safe with me.”

It feels nice to have a secret for just me and Evan, it builds our bond even tighter. What we don’t have is a sexual thing, but we do have something else. Something that I hope might even be better… maybe.

Chapter Eleven – Evan

“Evan, are you even listening to me?” Ally sounds frustrated as she demands this. “I’m trying to discuss work with you but it’s like you’re on another planet entirely.”

“Hmm, what?” I try and drag myself out of my thoughts and back into the present moment. I’m sure whatever Ally is saying to me is important, but I just can’t stop myself from drifting off. It’s driving me crazy. Ever since that lunch with Katy where things very nearly got out of control between us, and then I opened myself up to her more than I have done to anyone else… I just haven’t seen her. I don’t know what to think. I’m so damn confused. “Sorry, I am listening, I’m just… struggling.”

Ally flings her hands onto her hips and she narrows her eyes at me. “You’ve been acting all weird ever since she came into your life. Is this about her?”

I can feel my cheeks flaming red as I’ve been caught out, so I do the only thing I can and I act like I haven’t understood what she’s so clearly saying to me. “Sorry, who? What are you on about?”

“Oh come on.” Ally rolls her eyes dramatically. “Miss boring lawyer, who you seem to like despite the fact that she’s clearly all wrong for you. Are you thinking about her?”

Yes, I think. “No,” I lie. “I’m not thinking about anything. I’m just… thinking.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I can see it written all over your face.” Ally cocks her head at me and looks at me with confusion. “You are thinking about her. But why? I mean, she isn’t exactly the prettiest girl you’ve ever had in your office and she does seem really dull to me. I don’t see what you like in her at all. Plus, she hasn’t been here for almost a week, so what’s going on with that?”

Urgh, it’s been the longest damn week ever. I don’t care what Ally says about Katy, she doesn’t know her at all. She isn’t dull looking, and she isn’t boring either. She’s gorgeous and interesting, smart and fun, I miss her loads. All I want is for her to be back in my office, working with me so we can laugh and enjoy ourselves but unfortunately, she’s been tied up in sorting out what she needs to do with paper work and endless phone calls, plus from what I understand she needs to wrap things up with another client as well. There isn’t any reason for us to hang out right now, I just need to accept that. Even if it really hurts me in my chest, even if I feel all hollow in my chest.

“She’s busy, Ally, that’s all,” I reply firmly. “And I honestly don’t know what you’re going on about. Me and Katy just have a business relationship. That’s all.”

“Sure, that’s why you go all moony eyed when she comes in.”

I can tell Ally has said that to try and get a reaction out of me so I do everything that I can to keep those emotions inside. I don’t want her to see that I’m affected at all. I continue staring at the papers on my desk, acting like I’m working in the hope that Ally will get the hint and walk away.

But she doesn’t. “Okay, well that’s great news. I’m glad that you aren’t all up in the boring lawyer’s grill because that would really fuck things up for me and you.”

My eyes snap up at that remark. I thought that me and Ally had an understanding. Why is she suddenly acting all crazy around me? “What do you mean, me and you?”

“Oh I don’t mean anything by it… I just like having fun with you, that’s all.” She shimmies closer to me and slides a finger up and down my chest. “We have a good time, don’t we?”

I let my eyes fall closed as she rubs my shoulders, instantly picturing Katy again. Ally transforms and becomes the beautiful, natural looking lawyer who gets my heart beating at a million miles an hour. I could easily get with Ally again and pretend that it’s Katy, it would be an awesome way to get some of this out of my system, it would be the relief that I so desperately need… but the last time that happened I felt like a piece of shit afterwards. I don’t want to use Ally, she doesn’t deserve that. She’s a great girl who’s been there for me when I’ve needed her.

“Not now, Ally,” I say firmly while pushing myself back to create some distance between us. I need the space, her body anywhere near mine is a bad idea. “I have too much to do.”

“What?” she squeals in shock. “Are you serious? You don’t have anything to do. You’ve been sitting here for the last twenty minutes just day dreaming about fucking Katy.”

Ah, so she does know her name. “I haven’t, don’t be like that, Ally.”

“What’s going on here?” she demands, fire flashing behind her eyes. “Are you ending things between us? Is that what’s happening? Are you done with me now?”

I part my lips to say no of course not, because I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I stop myself at the very last moment. If I’m in the middle of developing some pretty serious feelings for Katy then I need to end things with Ally. Even if things don’t work out in the way that I want them to, the fact that I’m somehow ready to open up my heart to an actual relationship means I do need to put things to a halt. I don’t want to string things along until they become problematic.

“I think it does,” I admit quietly. “This hasn’t got anything to do with Katy, I just think that maybe… maybe I don’t want to just fool around anymore. Maybe I want something more.”

Ally bites down on her bottom lip and I think I might be about to experience a very first screaming fit from her. I brace my shoulders, wondering if she’ll quit her job in the process of this nightmare, but then she just nods. She doesn’t speak for a few moments, she just nods at me calmly as if she might agree. I don’t move my shoulders down from my ears right away though, just in case.

“Okay, I see. And what does that mean for us? Like, what does it mean for work?”

“I still want you to work here,” I insist. “I like having you around and you’re amazing at your job. I just… I don’t know, I think it might be time to take life a bit more seriously, you know?”

She moves back slowly, almost looking uncomfortable in her own skin as she leaves. I know that it’s going to be a little bit odd for a while, it can’t be anything else, but I think that me and Ally will find a way to be okay in the end. I hope anyway, I need her.

As she reaches the door she holds it open and turns to speak to me once more. “You know, if you do like little miss lawyer you should let her know. She doesn’t look like the sort of person that hears it a lot and I’m sure it’ll help move things forward.”

I open my mouth, but I’m too gob smacked to say anything. That’s some really adult, kick ass advice from Ally which isn’t what I expected at all. She’s a great girl, and she’s also really right. I can’t just sit back and let things with Katy pass me by. If I like her then I need to let her know. I have to tell her… or at least make it very obvious. Of course, it’s complex because of our working relationship, but if it’s as real as I think it is, then it’s worth the risk.

“Thank you, Ally, that’s very kind of you.”

The door shuts quietly behind her leaving me completely alone with my cell phone. The phone that’s been far too silent for days. I mean, I’ve had calls and messages, but not from the person I want them from. But I have the power to change that if I want. I can grab my phone and I can call her. I can make the first step. I have to.

With a deep breath, I pick up my phone and I scroll through the names in my contacts list. When I reach Katy, I rub my finger across it lovingly, hoping that it’ll all work out as I want it to. I don’t know how my fragile ego will take it if I make a move with Katy and it all falls apart.

Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

As it takes her a while for Katy to answer the phone I wonder if she’s ignoring me. I can almost picture her sitting at her desk, staring at her phone in sheer terror because she doesn’t want to speak to me. Maybe the almost kiss was too much, or maybe it was the news that I have a son. She didn’t seem put out by it when she first learned about my child but I suppose she’s had time to think about it now. Maybe she’s realized that she needs to keep her distance.

“Hello, sorry, you okay, Evan?” When Katy finally answers, she sounds completely out of breath. “Sorry I’ve been running around like a headless chicken all morning, I don’t even know what time of day it is. Or what day it is. Oh God, I sound like a mad person, sorry about that.”

“Oh wow, sounds like things have been stressful.” I cradle the phone to my ear so I can hear her words even louder. I love the lilting sound to her voice, it makes me miss her even more. “I’m sorry that you’ve had such a bad day. I hope me calling you doesn’t make it worse.”

“No, no not at all.” She sounds genuine as she says this which warms up my chest intensely. I love to make her happy. “I’m happy to hear from you, how are you?”

I know I could give her a bog standard answer without any details in that, but Ally’s words about pushing things if I want something to happen are still ringing in my ear. “Actually, I’m good, but that’s not why I’ve called you.” I suck in a deep breath of panicked air. “What I want to know is what you’re doing tonight?”

“Tonight?” she sounds distracted, like she has her mind on a million other things which I’m sure she does. “I think I’ll be working late at the office tonight. I really need to get this stuff filed.”

“How about tomorrow? Can I book you in for a business dinner so I can get an update of where we are?” I know the best thing for me to do is to make it about work. She’ll be much less likely to reject me that way. “I’d really lovely to hear what’s been happening?”

“Erm, hold on let me just check my diary.” I wait with baited breath as she flicks through the pages of her diary. “Yes, I can move some stuff around and make that happen. How does eight PM sound?”

My face bursts into a smile, this is a result! I know officially it’s about work, but there’s something even more intimate about dinner than there is lunch. If something is ever going to happen, it’ll start then. At least that way I’ll know one way or another.

“Eight sounds perfect, I’ll pick you up then. I’m looking forward to it already.”

As I hang up the phone I almost fist bump with excitement. This is perfect, I cannot wait to explore my feelings with Katy. I just really hope that she feels the same way too or who knows what’ll happen…

Chapter Twelve – Katy

I glance down at my suit wondering what the hell I’m doing going to a meal with Evan. I’ve spent the last few days trying to focus on other work that needs doing so I can create some distance between us while I try to tone down my feelings, but it hasn’t really worked. If I’m totally honest with myself, not seeing him has been worse because I’ve done nothing but think about him. The more I’ve learned about Evan, the deeper my heart falls for him, and now knowing the truth about his son and his tragic situation, I feel like I could tumble into the L word with him if I’m not careful.

Which is exactly why this is so dangerous. How did I let myself get talked into it? I know Evan said the word ‘work’ to try and make this an official thing that I would make time for, and I let him trick me… probably because I want to be tricked. And now the moment is upon me and I don’t know how to feel. The suit is on my body to try and keep a more professional feel about the night, but inside I’m still a hot, hormonal mess. I’m like a teenager about to go to prom.

As I bounce from foot to foot I stare at myself in the mirror. Maybe I look too smart, maybe I’ll give off the impression that there’s nothing to me but business. I want Evan to know that I think it’s all about work, but I also want him to see that I have a bit of a personality too… just in case.

Not that anything is going to happen, of course, this isn’t the sort of situation where it might become date like. Even if I do like Evan, we still have to work together. He’s still a client.

I can’t seem to stop myself, I tear the trousers from my body at the speed of light and grab a stark black pencil skirt to wear instead. It’s professional and something that I actually bought for work but I haven’t ever worn it yet. I haven’t ever had the chance to do so… which shows in my pale legs that haven’t ever been sun kissed. Still, as I tug the skirt up I realize that it looks better than the trousers even with my legs. Then I grab my hair out and I run a brush through it. It isn’t much, but I do feel a little more feminine with my hair hanging loose. It does look good actually down, I should wear it that way more often, I don’t know why I don’t aside from the fact that it’s easier to tie it up…

As a last ditch attempt to make myself look the best that I can, I grab my little used make up bag and I pretty up my face. I use mascara to make my eyes pop and I dust some foundation onto my cheeks to make myself look a little less tired. It’s not much, but I do look better.

At that moment, I hear a bleep of a car horn from outside my window, which I just know is going to be Evan. He said that’s what he’d going to do, so I’ve been expecting it for a while. Still it makes my heart leap up into my throat with nerves and excitement.

“Oh, my God,” I mutter shakily to myself. “He’s here.”

I already know that I don’t want to invite him inside because when I’m in the middle of a very busy patch at work – which admittedly is all the time – the housework takes a back seat. Since I live in a tiny, one bedroomed apartment it starts looking messy very quickly, and I don’t want Evan to see it. It’s embarrassing, he probably has maids to keep his house immaculate. I make my way to the door quickly and race down the stairs that run through the building two at a time.

As I push the door open and I step out into the street, my hair whips around my face in the breeze, reminding me again why it’s easier to keep it tied back. I tuck it behind my ears, keeping it off my face as much as I can and I smile over at Evan who’s standing on the outside of his flash car.

He looks amazing, absolutely breath taking. I’ve been thinking about him a lot since I last saw him but I don’t think my memory has done him any justice. I actually feel the wind stripped from my chest as I fixate on his gorgeous dark hair and his warm dark eyes. He’s wearing a suit too, and it’s one that’s tailored to his frame completely. It fits him like a glove, making my mouth water with lust.

Damn this is going to be hard, I think desperately to myself. How am I going to keep my hands off of him? I haven’t ever felt this way before, all filled with an uncontrollable animal lust, but with Evan I can’t seem to stop myself. He’s knocking all the sense out of my brain and turning me into a crazy ball of passion. I need to just keep my cool as much as I can.

“Hey,” I say, already sounding a little too flirty for my liking. “Good to see you.”

“Yeah, good to see you too.” He smiles brightly and runs his eyes up and down me, as if he’s drinking me in. I shiver under the intensity of his gaze. “You look good.”

I don’t know if he means this in an ironic way because I’m dressed to business like, or if he actually means it. I still don’t know if I have the dress code right, I feel really out of my depth. “Oh, thanks,” I reply lamely. “You look good too. That’s a, erm, nice suit you have on.”

“Why thank you.” Evan steps to the side and opens the passenger side door for me. “Shall we get going? I don’t know about you but I’m absolutely starving.”

“Yeah, me too,” I grin, suddenly realizing just how true that is. “I’m really excited to eat out again. I should get more clients like you that are willing to treat me.”

As I step towards the car, Evan gets a really serious, intense look on his face for a moment. “I really hope that you don’t,” he says gruffly, displaying a raw emotion.

I don’t understand his words, they’re too much for me. To the naked ear, they sound like the words of a man that’s falling for me despite the fact that he knows he probably shouldn’t… but I already know that he’s sleeping with Ally so it’s weird. He can’t really think that way, it must just be me projecting my feelings onto him. It doesn’t really mean anything.

I don’t answer Evan’s strange comment because I don’t know what to say. Instead I slide into the passenger’s seat and I wait expectantly for him to get in too. Maybe if that situation was different I would be able to ask him about his words and the meaning behind them, I might be able to pluck up the courage to do so, but I don’t see any point in complicating things further. We need to keep this as simplistic as possible. Silence is the easy option, so that’s what I’ll go with.

“Right,” Evan says with a grin, clearly not bothered by me ignoring his point. “Let’s get going, shall we? I have a table booked at a Japanese restaurant at half eight.”

“Ooh lovely, that sounds great. Let’s get going.”

***

“Do you want anything for desert?” Evan asks me, leaning in towards me in a manner that he wouldn’t do if we weren’t sitting on the big Japanese cushions in this restaurant, eating a meal with chopsticks which is surprisingly erotic with the right person. “Or have you had enough to eat?”

I can’t help it, my heart skips about ten beats, this is insane. He’s making me feel so many things at once, I don’t know what to do with myself. I can’t keep pretending that this is nothing more than a business meal when the chemistry is circling us so tightly. I’m practically shivering because I’m such a mess. I can barely even look at Evan because I’m so screwed up.

“I think I’ve had enough,” I tell him with a trembling voice. “But thank you, this has been…”

“Yes, it has, hasn’t it?” he murmurs back. I can hear the lust in his voice and it’s driving me wild. The sparks that have been underlying between me and Evan since day one have intensified tonight. Damn Robyn for being right, for seeing what I wasn’t able to. I can’t ever tell her that she’s right. “Really nice. It’s made me realize just how much I’ve missed you.”

I squeeze my eyes shut as his words kill me. I can’t hear that he’s missed me, not when I want to grab onto him to never let him go. “Yeah, I erm, I know what you mean,” I reply thickly.

Evan reaches across the table to get his drink and as he does electricity flies all over my body. My heart explodes with emotions and I struggle to keep myself under control. I want to wrap my arms around Evan and to cling to him like a limpet.

“So, if you’ve finished eating do you want to get out of here?”

I don’t know if I do. I mean, of course I do because it’s the logical next step, but at the same time the moment we leave this place the night comes to an end, and who knows what will happen then? I mean, I’ll see Evan in the office, I’ll probably go to see him tomorrow in fact, but it won’t be the same. Then we’ll be in ‘work mode’, whereas this is something else completely. I don’t know what ‘mode’ we’re in, but I like it.

“Yes, I suppose so,” I reply sadly, knowing that I have to be normal. I push myself into a standing position and move to the other side of the room where my shoes are waiting for me. “But it’s been a really lovely night.”

Evan leaves the cash on the table for the meal and he grabs his shoes too. Because he’s been driving and I’ve wanted to keep a steady head neither of us have been drinking, but I feel intoxicated, like I’m absolutely wasted. There’s something about being near Evan that makes me feel dizzy and excitable, like I’m not really in the room at all. It isn’t a sensation that I’ve ever experienced before which just shows how intense all of this is.

Just as I think we’re about to go, Evan does that thing again where he cups my cheeks in his hands and he stares deeply into my eyes. The last time this happened, we got interrupted by his cell phone ringing but it seems like nothing is going to stop us this time. The intense gaze that Evan’s giving me looks like it wouldn’t be broken even if an earthquake broke out. In the middle of this Japanese restaurant, Evan dips his head down and he crashes his lips into mine hard and fast. He presses his mouth against mine for just a second, not long enough to be inappropriate but for enough time to have fireworks exploding inside of me. The sweet kiss knocks me from my feet and turns my world upside down completely. It feels so much better than I expected it to, I never want it to end.

“Come on,” Evan whispers to me as we finally pull apart. “Let’s get you home.”

I don’t know what he means by that, it could be anything, but I’m very excited to find out.

Chapter Thirteen – Evan

I feel like a whole new man as I reach the office the following morning, like everything in the world is completely different, and in the best way possible. Me and Katy went on a night out that very quickly turned into the date I wanted it to be, however it started out, and then at the end of the night I walked her home and I kissed her for the second time. And this is where it gets crazy… then I left. I could tell that Katy wanted me to come inside with her, and to be honest I really did too, but I don’t want what I share with her to be a cheap fuck. I don’t want her to be a notch on the bed post. What I actually want is something real, and I need to prove that to her, whatever it takes.

“Hello, boss,” Ally cries out as soon as she sees me entering. “All okay?”

I turn to look at her with confusion in my face, but it quickly becomes obvious from her serene expression on her face that she’s over yesterday. Warm relief floods my chest as my smile brightens. I’m so glad we can move past what happened now, and quickly. That makes things much easier for me, which is perfect when I think about all the other mess in my life.

“Hi, Ally. Yeah, it’s all good. Are you okay?” She nods enthusiastically. “Great. That’s good. What do you have going on today? Am I super busy?”

“I thought you wanted your schedule cleared to spend the day planning with Katy?” Hmm, she’s using her name now which means things must be better. “Isn’t that right? I think she’s coming in soon. I can call her and cancel if things are strained? I can just tell her you double booked.”

Of course, I’m not going to do that, all I want to do is spend time with Katy. I knew she was coming in today, I just didn’t realize that I’d booked the whole day for it. I suppose that makes sense considering this is the future of the company! What a pleasant surprise.

“Can I ask what she’s doing here now?” Ally asks me quietly. “I mean, we don’t often have a lawyer here all the damn time so I know it must be huge, I guess I’m just scared that things are going…” She doesn’t say anything, she makes a thumbs down sign instead.

I don’t like this, the rumor mill is starting. I need to say something to calm things down before they really spiral out of control. The last thing I need is Ally creating an unnecessary wave of panic throughout the office. I think on my feet and say something almost true.

“I’m restructuring. That’s why I need a lawyer. I need to get things set out by law, you know?”

“Oh.” Ally looks pleasantly shocked. “Okay, well that’s… so my job is safe?”

“Yes, you’re job is safe. You don’t have to worry about it.”

She nods slowly but happily which makes me breathe out a sigh of relief. At least I’ve managed to nip things in the bud for now, and if things go in the way that they’re supposed to, the way that Katy keeps promising me that they will be, then Ally and the others won’t even need to find out that there was any threat to their jobs and livelihood at all.

“Well that’s good news, I’m glad to hear it. You would tell me if something was going to happen, wouldn’t you? I wouldn’t want to be the last to know…”

My chest clenches, I feel a little sick. I hate lying to Ally when I know what’s really going on, but it’s the best thing for everyone. “Yeah, of course. I would tell you.” I pull away from Ally, needing to get into my office before I go and say something a little too honest at the wrong moment. “Well, I suppose I better get to work, get myself all ready for my restructuring meeting today…”

“With the restructure, will anyone else lose their job? I mean, are you going to stream line things so some people aren’t needed? I don’t want to be a gossip, I guess I just want to know and since me and you have always been close…”

Shit, I need to put an end to this before she drags something out of me. Ally has been more perceptive than I gave her credit for and now that might be about to come back to bite me in the ass. “I don’t know what’s going to happen yet, but I’m going to do the best that I can to ensure that no one loses their job, okay? It doesn’t interest me to leave anyone without a job, you know that about me.”

“Yeah, of course.” Ally nods rapidly like she’s afraid to offend me. “Of course, I know that I wasn’t suggesting… I guess I’m just concerned for me and my friends, that’s all.”

She makes me feel all weird inside, her comments have zapped all the happiness from my body. I don’t like the thought that I’m letting people down, it sucks. I guess the only thing I can do is work my damn ass off to ensure that doesn’t happen. It isn’t just Liam relying on me, it’s everyone else too.

“That’s not going to happen, so don’t worry about it.”

Once I shut the office door behind me I breathe so deeply I think I might explode. This is a nightmare, I can’t cope. It’s making my head spin like crazy. I need Katy to get here soon, to tell me that it’s all going to be okay in that lovely soft voice of hers. She just has this way of making me relax right at the moment that it feels the whole world might crash around me. Her warmth makes me think that I might just be able to save my company after all.

God, I hope I haven’t fucked that up by kissing her.

The memory of kissing Katy once has my heart skipping a beat, and the second one was even better. It just highlighted the chemistry that we have between us, and makes me want to know even more what it’ll be like when we take things one step further. And not even in a seedy way, my brain isn’t coming up with dirty, filthy, porn like images. The ideas are more loving, like the sort form a chick flick or something… it’s absolutely mental, but I kinda like it.

“Hey.” All of a sudden as if I’ve created her from nowhere, hear head pops around the corner and she smiles shyly at me. “How are you? Can I come in?”

Her hair is hanging down lose and it’s slightly wavy, and I can also see that she has just a little bit of make up on. Much as I prefer the natural look on Katy, I like that she’s made an effort. It shows that she was thinking about me when she got dressed this morning and she wanted to look nice. I wanted to look nice for Katy too so it’s safe to say that the feeling is mutual.

“Of course, you can come in,” I tell her with a smile. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

I bite down on my bottom lip and wait for her to enter the room. As her sweet scent fills my office I inhale deeply and love every moment of it. Katy is still in her trademark business suit style, but there’s something a little sexier about it today… she’s added a skirt into the mix, just like she had on at the dinner which looks incredible. She’s so hot it’s hard to keep away from her.

“So, last night was interesting,” she dives right into the difficult topic straight away. “Erm, do you think it’s something we might need to talk about?”

Normally, even the idea of talking feelings with a woman would make me run for the hills. I wouldn’t even want to consider it, but with Katy my heart is surprisingly open. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. “Yes, okay. What do you want to say about it?”

“Well, I don’t know, I guess I just…” She gives me a curious look, so I try to smile as reassuringly as I can. “I just think that we need to be careful. We can’t let whatever this is get in the way of us working together. It could just get really complicated, and I don’t want you to lose all of this that we’ve worked so hard for, you know?”

I narrow my eyes and cock my head at her. “Are you trying to suggest that we just keep this between us for now? Because I’m totally cool with that. It’s probably for the best, right? Since you’re the lawyer helping me with my case.”

She nods along with me and smiles widely. “Okay good, thank you. I think that’s for the best for now. And we should probably try and focus only on work while we’re working. Like, I don’t think we should kiss or anything while we’re sorting out the plans.”

I don’t like that quite as much. Part of the fun of hooking up in the work place is the thrill of doing something crazy and possibly getting caught for it… but I respect Katy too much to ignore her words. If this is what she wants then I’ll let her have it.

“Sure, that’s wise. Let’s just focus on the plans while we’re at work.” She pauses for a moment and I can almost see the steam of thoughts running through her brain. “What’s going on? Is there more?”

“It’s just… well, I hate to ask this.” She looks so uncomfortable it takes everything I have not to take her in my arms and hold her close to my chest. “But Ally…”

Ah of course. Katy is super perceptive, of course she’s spotted that there’s something going on between me and Ally. There’s no point in me trying to deny it, not if she’s already seen.

“There was something between me and Ally, I will be honest with you, but it was only a sexual thing, it wasn’t ever more… and I’ve ended it now.”

“Isn’t that awkward?” She glanced towards the door as if Ally is about to burst through it in a fit of rage. “Working together and stuff.”

“We always both knew exactly what it was so it’s fine. Better than fine actually, me and Ally are okay. There isn’t anything to worry about there.”

She doesn’t look like she fully trusts my words, but she does nod which I take as a good sign. This could create some sorts of issues later on, maybe, but for now it all looks great. Finally, it seems like something might be going my way.

Katy takes a seat on the other side of my desk, so I copy her. She might have created some ground rules for us to try and stop things from getting out of control, but that doesn’t stop the intense, sexual vibrations from flowing between us. It hums in the air and makes it really difficult for me to keep my hands to myself.

“So,” I say as calmly as I can. “What do we need to do today?”

As Katy talks, I focus on the movement of her plump lips, while a deep pressure builds in my chest. In reality it hasn’t been that long at all but it feels like this thing between me and her has been building forever. I know she’s saying some very serious stuff to me, but I can barely hear it.

I’m doing okay now, but the sexual tension is going to get to me eventually. I am going to cave and try something. I just hope that Katy caves first…

Chapter Fourteen – Katy

The tension is too much, it’s crushing me, I don’t know what to do about it. Every single conversation that me and Evan share, however innocent, somehow manages to have a sexual undertone. Every time his skin brushes against mine I feel like I’ve been electrocuted. I can barely stand to look at him he has me feeling so many things inside. The kiss we shared last night was so filled with promise, so much so that I thought it was going to culminate into something right there and then, but since it didn’t the atmosphere between us is heady and thick with lust.

“So, erm…” I blink my eyes a couple of times, trying to steady myself. With him so close to me it’s as if I’m staring directly into the sun. “I think we’re all set for the day, don’t you?”

“Oh I certainly do,” Evan replies with a twinkle in his eye. “We’ve worked our asses off, haven’t we? We’ve done so much that I’m starting to think that I might need to keep you around full time. Having a lawyer is more useful than I thought it would be.”

I shiver lightly at the idea of working here full time. It certainly beats the fear that’s leading up to the partner decision making process at Harrison and Associates that’s taking absolutely forever. But of course, that’s ridiculous, it just couldn’t work ever.

“Let’s just save your business first,” I reply wryly. “One thing at a time. I don’t think it’s a good idea to start hiring new people, do you?”

“Alright, fine.” He rolls his eyes in a mocking manner. “I won’t hire you just yet.”

As we collect up the papers, I feel a lump forming in the back of my throat. Despite the fact that it’s been damn near impossible, we’ve stuck to my rule about keeping it all about work, but now… well now work is done. Who knows what will happen. I lay awake pretty much all night long trying to work out how we can make this thing work even slightly in a way that doesn’t mess us both up, and that’s all I could come up with. Keep it about work and keep it a secret. I just don’t want anyone to find out about us until we’ve stopped working together… and maybe not even then if I can help it. I don’t want my integrity ruined and I also don’t want anything to affect Evan’s chance to keep his business. That isn’t fair, just because there’s a solid attraction there, we shouldn’t be punished.

Especially when it’s the first time for me in a very long time! I’m so enjoying this feeling, it’s utterly intoxicating. I don’t want to give it up just because it isn’t right, and honestly, I don’t think I can. Not now that we’ve already overstepped that boundary. It’s too much for me.

“Since I can’t hire you,” Evan starts while closing the gap between us, making my heart leap right up into my throat where it pounds heavily. “Can I hang out with you instead?”

I bite my tongue so I don’t make any silly comments about how hiring people hasn’t stopped him fooling around with women before. I don’t want to say anything petty like that because he really does seem to be done with Ally. That was just a sex thing anyway, according to Evan, and it seems that what we have something that runs much deeper. I don’t want to sound like I’m jealous. I might be just a little bit, but there’s no point in letting Evan know that.

“That sounds great, what’s the plan?” I lean into him a little and rest against his chest. “Any ideas of what you’d like to do?” I know what I want to do but I don’t want to be too forward. I peer up at Evan expectantly and wait for him to answer. “Since work is done?”

Evan’s arms circle my waist and he tugs me closer to him. With his hands on the small of my back I feel petite and precious. It’s a nice feeling that makes me shudder violently. There isn’t a damn person in the world that would be able to hold back if they felt the way I do now. This is some serious passion, it’s undeniable, I even think it would hold up in a court of law… or if it wouldn’t, it should. I haven’t ever understood crimes of passion before, not that I work in that area, but now I’m starting to realize that it’s possible to go so crazy from lust that you’d do absolutely anything.

With Evan looking at me like I’m beautiful, I feel so glad that I got up a little earlier today to make some effort with my appearance. It isn’t that I think I should be liked for my looks, I just feel better about myself. It’s amazing what I can find the time for when I have a solid motivation. I even managed to get make up on my face this morning. Maybe I’m not always that busy after all!

Without saying even another word, Evan brings that delicious mouth back down to mine and he kisses me passionately. The warmth of his lips parts mine and invite his tongue in. As he explores my mouth with his tongue, I do the same to him, while pushing myself up onto my tiptoes to deepen the kiss. There’s a pressure in my chest, a sensation that’s crying out for a release.

“Oh my God,” Evan groans as he moves his mouth towards my neck where he kisses and flicks his tongue all over my hypersensitive skin. “Katy, you are something else.”

I toss my head back and allow my hair to spill backwards. My eyes fall closed as Evan kisses me in places that I didn’t know I needed to be kissed until right now. His hands fist at the back of my blouse, undoubtedly creasing it badly, but for the first time ever I don’t mind about not looking smart and professional. I’m much too needy for that.

A sheen of sweat coats my skin as my entire body flames like a match has been lit underneath me. It gives me another reason to want every single item of my clothing off. I want to be naked, I want Evan to spread me across his desk to examine and explore every damn inch of me, but I don’t think that’s a good idea. Not when I’m not one hundred percent sure that the office is empty. It’s late so it should be and I haven’t heard anyone for a while, but I don’t want to get caught out in that embarrassing situation, just in case.

Just as I think I might lose my mind with lust, Evan hitches my skirt up around my waist and he picks me up. My legs automatically wrap around him as he carries me, which means I get a great feel of the thick erection he has waiting for me in his trousers. That’s a hardness that I’ve created with my lips alone and I feel possessive of it. I can’t wait to feel him inside me. I can’t help but notice how big he already feels… much larger than anyone I’ve ever had before. That fills me with a nervous excitement. I wonder how crazy he’ll make me.

Eventually Evan plonks my butt on his desk which causes my thighs to fall apart. He gets in between them so I can still feel him, then he grabs my cheeks to kiss me using his signature move. There’s a warm wetness in my panties, and if I don’t get my satisfaction soon, I might completely lose my shit and scream the damn building down.

“You are so sexy,” Evan mutters to me as his hands travel down my body. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to touch you.”

Probably not for as long as I’ve wanted to be touched, I think as he traces his fingers tantalizingly along my thighs, but I can’t find the words anywhere in my throat to speak. It’s almost as if my voice box has been cut off completely. Oh God, touch me more. Touch me everywhere!

Just as I think he’s going to slip his fingers into me, Evan drops to the floor and he moves his nose into my area. I can feel the tip of it brushing against me through the lace of my underwear which makes me want to cry out with sheer bliss. He hasn’t even really done anything to me yet and I’m buzzing, the anticipation is utterly intense. I have no idea how that’s going to feel when he takes that to the next level and he finally dips into me. I might just fall apart completely.

“I need these gone,” Evan growls as he hooks his fingers around the waistband of my underwear. “Is that cool with you?”

“Fuck yes,” I moan back. I need them gone too. They’re the only thing standing in the way of my sheer pleasure and I just can’t freaking wait. “Shred them from me.”

He takes my words a little too literally as he yanks them down so hard that I can hear a tearing sound, but I honestly don’t care. They could be in a million pieces and it wouldn’t make any difference to me… all I can focus on is Evan’s mouth which is slowly edging towards me. I can feel his breath teasing my entrance now and my hips buck towards him accordingly.

I grip my hands around the edge of the desk, trying to hold myself in place, and the moment that his tongue connects with my clit I’m glad. I leap up so hard from the incredible sensations that I would have fallen off if I wasn’t holding on.

“Oh shit.” Evan’s mouth is expert. He starts tracing the most phenomenal feeling patterns all over my clit that I’ve ever felt. My heart hammers hard, it rattles my rib cage as ragged breaths fall from my lips. I’m on top of the damn world. “Oh, Evan.”

My body rushes rapidly towards the massive pit of desire. A heat pools in my belly and threatens to spread right through me at any moment. I gasp, I grunt, I groan, all of which only encourages Evan to pick up the pace. I lose myself completely, any control that I had over myself is gone, I’ve given myself over to Evan totally and I honestly don’t mind. He’s making me feel so good that I’d let him have every single inch of me just to keep the sensation going…

But then, he completely stuns me by pulling away, just as I could feel myself tipping. I can feel myself wanting to scream out and protest but I can’t quite find the words. As Evan steps away from me, leaving me vulnerable and exposed, he pulls a condom from his pocket, so the anticipation strips any anger from me. This isn’t over, if anything it’s just beginning.

In what feels like mere seconds, Eve has pulled his throbbing cock free and I watch in awe as he rolls the latex over him. I was right to think that he’s big, he’s absolutely massive, I don’t know how I’m going to be able to take him all but I’m excited to find out.

“Come back here,” I groan once he’s ready for me. I’m aching for him so hard that I need to feel him. I’m pulsating hard against his desk and it’s starting to get uncomfortable. I need a sexual awakening, my body is screaming out for one. “I need you.”

As Evan slides his way into me, filling me up completely, a sense of calm overcomes me. This has been a long time coming and I just know that it’s going to feel awesome, which his hard, fast thrusts confirm. I’m already so close to the edge, he put me there with his tongue, so it isn’t long until the orgasm is absolutely shattering through me and I’m screaming so loud that I really do hope we’re the only people here…

Chapter Fifteen – Evan

That woman is too much, I think to myself with a smile on my face as I watch Katy work. She is absolutely awesome. I don’t know what I would do without her.

I don’t even just mean that professionally anymore, I mean it personally too. We might have only slept together only once a couple of days ago, but the memory is still very fresh in my mind. We’ve both just had lots to do which is why we haven’t had the chance again… I can’t wait until we do. The chemistry we share is stronger than ever and the knowledge that we have a sexual compatibility will only make it better. There’s always a risk with the first time of having sex with someone that it won’t be as good as you think it’s going to be… but that wasn’t the case with Katy. It was better.

“Are you okay?” I ask her cautiously. “You look a bit strung out?”

She looks more stressed than normal, and I have a feeling it isn’t anything to do with the stack of paper in her hands. She’s distracted, and I want to know why. Maybe it’ll even be me…

“Oh I’m sorry.” She shakes her head rapidly as if she’s trying to rid her brains of any thoughts. “I am a bit. I don’t mean to be and I don’t want it to affect any of my work…”

I gently put my hand on her arm to silence her before she gets into a full blown rant about whatever it is that’s bothering her. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re allowed to be stressed out about something other than my problems, you know? I know that’s what I’m paying you for, but I’m not a monster.”

She lets out a sound that I think is supposed to be a laugh, but it’s much too strangled for that. She can’t seem to pull off breezy while something is clearly going on with her. “I know, I just don’t like worrying about my own stuff when I’m on the clock.” She takes in a deep breath, then drops the bomb shell. “Grant has just messaged me and I think they’re going to announce the partner soon. I might have to get back to the office for it. If you don’t mind…”

My chest clenches at the mention of another man’s name, which I know is silly since I don’t really have any claim over Katy, but I force myself to get over it before I do something stupid and act like a jealous freak. That’ll put Katy off in a heart beat. Plus, I think I’m more interesting than Grant. I mean, he’s a nice enough guy but I do think I’m much better. I’m more fun, I haven’t got the same stick up my ass, and I’m sure I’m much better for Katy than he is. She needs someone like me. Someone who will bring her out of her lawyer shell, not box her further into it. I don’t see Grant as competition. I have a feeling that he might even have a girlfriend anyway so it’s fine.

“Do you want me to drive you over there? I mean, I know I can’t do much but I can wait outside for you…” I try to gauge her reaction but her stoic face gives away absolutely nothing. All I can see is sheer terror in her gaze, she’s really freaking out. “We can then celebrate or whatever.”

I don’t want to say anything about the possibility of her not getting the positon because I don’t want her to consider that while she’s in such a mess. I don’t think she’ll have to worry about it anyway, I feel absolutely certain this is what she deserves. She’s clearly a kick ass lawyer who works hard. I can’t see any reason why she wouldn’t get the position.

“You would give me a ride?” she asks curiously while looking around the room. “But you really don’t have to. And I’m sure there’s stuff you have to do here…”

“No of course I’ll take you. I want to take you. I could do with some time away from the office anyway.” I grab my car keys and shake them at her. “Shall we get going now?”

Her face pales, I can almost see all the color drain from her skin. I can’t keep away from her for even a second longer. I know that we’re technically on ‘work time’ right now but she needs a hug and I’m going to give her one. All I want to do is hold her, embrace her, make her feel a little better about her nerves. As I grab Katy and I press her against my chest I feel my heart swell with pride. It feels really good to be able to do something nice for someone else. Especially Katy.

“You do know that you’ll be fine, don’t you?” I tell her reassuringly. “You are pretty much guaranteed to get the job. You deserve it more than anyone else the way you work.”

“Well Grant works hard too,” Katy mutters into my chest. “And he’s my competition.”

“Urgh, Grant,” I growl with an eye roll. “Fucking Grant, there’s no way that he’s going to beat you. You kick ass. Grant is just… he’s Grant. You’re much better.”

Katy pulls back to look at me and she laughs lightly. “You’re crazy. Your support is epic, but yeah… you’re crazy. At least I’m not freaking out anymore though, so that’s something.” She pats both my arms and steps back. “I suppose we better get going now, I don’t want to put off the inevitable. I have to face this sooner or later and I’ve been waiting for this for ages.” She sucks in a couple of deep breaths. “Let’s go. If we don’t leave now I might get back to freaking out…”

I follow her to the elevator, admiring her strength as she goes. This must be terrifying for her, it seems like she’s been working towards it for ages, and now she’s going to face that. I’m glad I can be there with her if she needs me for support. Either way, I’m going to be there for her…

***

I tap the steering wheel of my car impatiently, while glancing towards the law office again. I don’t know what the hell is going on, Katy has been in there for what feels like forever, and the anticipation is killing me. It’s actually tearing me up inside and making me feel all messy. I just want to know what life changing stuff is going on inside those four walls, and the fact that I have absolutely no control over it hurts me. It’s an actual pain in my chest.

I don’t usually care about what goes on in any other business, but today I do. I really do.

I grab my cell phone and scroll through the Internet once more, looking at my emails, my social media, random websites that don’t really tell me anything. I’m just trying to distract myself, but it’s not really working. I can’t think about anything but her. God, I wish she was by my side right now…

The next time I scan my eyes towards the building, I see the shadow of a woman coming out of the building. She’s hunched over, surrounded in sadness, and my heart absolutely bleeds for her. Everything hammers and shudders inside of me as I realize that this is Katy and she must not have gotten the job. The idiots at Harrison and Associates must have chosen Grant over her which is mind blowing. It makes me want to scream with frustration… but I won’t because this isn’t about me. This is about Katy and all I need is to be there for her.

I leap out of the car and race over to her to throw my arms around her, but before I can make any sort of contact with her, she looks up to me, her eyes swimming with tears and she whispers the words I was least expecting. “I got it.”

Well, the words aren’t shocking in themselves, they’re exactly what I thought she was going to say when I spent all that time in the car waiting for her, it’s the fact that she really doesn’t seem happy when she’s telling me those words. This is something that she’s been working towards for ages, and now she isn’t happy to get it. It doesn’t make any sense to me.