Chapter Thirty Four – Will

Why am I so nervous? I think to myself. What is going on with me here? I’m sweating, shaking, practically falling apart which is crazy. It isn’t like I’m doing anything too out of the ordinary. Not for me. Okay, so I’m about to propose to my girlfriend six months after we were both almost killed, but it isn’t the first time. I’ve told her that I want to marry her before, just after Jordan was born, and I think my actions have shown her that much recently. I’m pretty sure that she wants to marry me too. She seems to love me very much. But still, I’m scared.

Stop it, I warn myself as my whole body jiggles. Don’t fuck this up. Don’t be an idiot. Don’t wreck it.

“Are you okay, boss?” Jones asks me curiously which cocking his head. “You look really… sticky.”

“Will you stop with the whole ‘boss’ thing?” I instantly shoot back. “I might have been made head of the department, but that doesn’t instantly put me above you. Besides, we’re friends first. You don’t need to.”

I never would have thought that me and Jones would be friends the first time I met him. I didn’t even like him, I found him very immature, but now he’s really the only person who gets me. Other people in the office have been through similar things, but I don’t think anyone understands the Landon mess like Jones. He gets that it didn’t just lose me my friend, but my partner as well. Sometimes, I think other people forget that Andre died too.

Now, despite the age gap between us, Jones has become such a good friend of mine that he was around to help me plan the proposal. He might even end up being my best man, if we go all in for the big wedding thing. The man I originally thought would be my best man is no longer, so the spot is wide open, up for grabs.

Maybe we won’t though, I don’t know what Cici wants. We aren’t usually keen for big grad gestures, but this will be our wedding day. And with the promotion I earn a bit more so I can definitely afford it. Of course, the extra cash isn’t the only good thing about me being made boss, it takes me off the streets, puts me more on paper work than dangerous missions. Sure, I miss being outside sometimes, but it keeps Cici happy. She doesn’t have to worry about me any longer. Plus, I have fewer late nights which means I can actually be a father to Jordan.

“And yes,” I sigh loudly. “I’m fine, just a bit nervous that’s all. This is a big step you know.”

“For everyone else, yes, but for you and Cici, it’s the next natural step. I’ve never seen a couple more made for each other than you too. You don’t have anything to feel anxious about at all. You’ll be fine.”

I glance over his head, refusing to acknowledge his remarks. It’s all well and good saying that to me, but it doesn’t help me while the anticipation is so hot. Even if I do think it’ll go smoothly, I just want to get started.

“Why isn’t she here yet? I told her to meet me here. Her mom is supposed to be helping out with Jordan…”

“It’s only just seven,” Jones replies while looking at his watch. “I wouldn’t worry too much.”

I’ve hired out the whole Italian restaurant where me and Cici had our very first date all that time ago, and Jones has been with me decorating it. He could go now, I’m sure he’s got plenty of other things that he’d rather be doing, but he’s waiting with me because he can tell that I need it. He’s good like that, it’s why I like him. He might make mistakes along the way, but he always learns from them, and I respect that a lot now.

While I wait, I idly rub my finger along the scar on my torso. I used to do that with the one on my cheek, but that injury is much less prominent in my life now. Yes, I survived the knife attack, but what I survived the second time around was so much more significant. I lost a lot of things then and I almost lost more. I almost ruined everything. Thank God Cici gave me a second chance, and I’m so glad that I’ve used that to my advantage. I’ve been romantic, attentive, a better father… I’ve really made sure that she’s happy with my second chance. This scar represents that, it reminds me that I always need to be the best version of myself because Cici deserves that.

“Ah, there she is!” Jones’s tone grows in excitement. “It’s time, boss. I’m going to get out of here.”

As he pats me on the back, I grit my teeth and ignore the fact that he’s called me ‘boss’ again. Somehow or another, I’m going to have to knock that out of him. I can’t have him calling me that forever.

“Wish me luck,” I grunt back. I hear him say good luck to me, but I’m barely listening anymore. My eyes are fixed on the vision of beauty who’s floating into the room like an angel sent down from heaven. She truly is gorgeous, I’m the luckiest man alive. Her red hair fluffs around her pale face, her eyes sparkle at me, and the black dress that she’s wearing clings to every curve perfectly. I’m the luckiest man alive.

“Hey there!” she calls out to me while raising one hand. “What is this? I didn’t think it was going to be so fancy.” She glances down at her outfit. “I don’t know if I’m really dressed the part.”

I let out a bellowing laugh. “Oh, Cici, you are funny. You’re dressed far too fancy for pizza.”

“Yeah well.” She shrugs defensively. “It’s not like I get to go out much, is it? I usually have my baby with me. So, if I get offered the chance to be taken out on a date, then yes, I’m going to dress up nice.”

I pouf up her hair, loving the soft strands, and smile. “Well, you look gorgeous so I’m glad.”

“You’re dressed up too.” She points to my charcoal suit. “So, you can hardly argue with me.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” I rush to the table that’s been set up especially in the middle of the room. “Please, take a seat. The waiter will be over to take your order any minute now.”

She glances around the room, clearly suspicious. “What’s going on? There’s no one else here.”

“Never you mind that.” I give her a wink. “Take a seat.” Thankfully she does what I ask. “Good, now what would you like to eat? I hear they do the most amazing pizzas here in the world.”

Cici laughs, thankfully seemingly distracted from the lack of other customers. I want her to know that this is a special night, but I don’t want her to guess exactly what I have planned just yet. I want it to be a bit of a surprise when it happens. It’s been a while, things have been going on between us for nearly two years now, but in a weird way it still feels like this is a bit quick. I suppose that’s because I was checked out for a lot of it. Well, all that mess might have stolen some time from us, but it won’t have any more. We’re moved on from it. Annabelle and the other people left from the operation are all rotting in jail, where they’ll be for most of their lives, and me and Cici are moving on. We truly are the winners in all of this. We get to have our lives.

I stare at her as she examines the menu, admiring her beauty. She’s so graceful and wonderful, the perfect mother and wife. I honestly don’t know what I would do without her. I used to believe that commitment wasn’t my thing, that I didn’t ever want to settle down, but truth be told I simply hadn’t found the right person.

Now, I have her for sure. Cici is the one, the woman of my dreams.

I had a whole plan, there was a way that I wanted to do this, but all of that feels staged now. I just want to say it before I lose my nerve. I’ve built this up, made it something insane, but it’s time to just do it. I rise up, I make my way over to her, and I immediately drop to one knee in front of her. My fingers dig into my pockets.

“What are you doing?” Cici asks me curiously. “Have you dropped something?”

She must be the only woman in the world who wouldn’t immediately know what I’m doing, but that’s why I like her so much. Cici isn’t like anyone I’ve ever met before and I’m sure I won’t again. Finally, I find the box and I pull it free. I flick it open to reveal the emerald ring inside, sitting in a gold band.

“Cici, I told you once that I wanted to marry you, that I wanted to make you my wife, but I haven’t ever made good on that promise. That isn’t to say that my desire has lessened at all. I’ve wanted to marry you ever since I first realized that I’d fallen in love with you.” Cici claps her hand to her mouth in shock as all the jigsaw pieces fall together and she understands. “You are the most incredible woman in the world. You’re sweet, kind, caring, resilient as hell, and a kick ass mother on top of that. I couldn’t ask for more. Once upon a time, I asked you for a second chance. I wanted to be able to make up for my past mistakes and make you happy, and thankfully you said yes. I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done otherwise. All I want to do is make you happy, I love seeing that smile on your face, I adore knowing that we are perfect for one another, that we can make it through.”

“Oh, Will.” Cici shakes her head as a tear streams down her cheek. “I can’t believe this.”

“Cici, plain and simple, I want you to be my wife. I want your face to be the one that I wake up to every single day. I want you to be the woman who I grow old with, I want you to be my wife.” I let out a little chuckle before I finally get to my question. It feels great to finally set it free, it’s been weighing on me for too long now. “So, what do you say? Will you make me the happiest man alive and agree to be my wife?”

Cici pauses for a beat too long, but thankfully it’s only because the emotion has caught her, not because she’s debating what her answer should be. “I can’t believe you, Will, this is so unexpected.”

“That doesn’t sound like an answer,” I tease her. “Come on, don’t leave me hanging here.”

“Of course, I will, silly”. She extends her finger and lets me slide the ring on. “As if I’d say no.”

I jump up and wrap my arms around her, holding her close to me. There was a time when it seemed like our attraction to one another might turn out to be fatal, that it was a terrible idea and that the only reason we were sticking it out was for our son. But not anymore. Now, we have a beautiful, bright future spread out in front of us, and it’s going to be wonderful. I can’t wait for me and Cici to get started towards our happy ever after.