Bubbles reach the top of the tub as I lie down to soak in a hot bath. I take in a deep breath, letting the essential oils fill the air. It’s been a long couple of weeks. Closing my eyes, I think about saying goodbye to those big caramel eyes. I can’t believe Lexi leaves for Los Angeles tomorrow. An empty feeling flows through me, knowing she won’t be a part of my life anymore.
I think about how different my life was before Lexi came into it. I was living day to day, but it didn’t have meaning. It didn’t have life. Lexi brought purpose to my life, gave me something to look forward to. Dr. Price was right; Lexi has helped me heal. I hope I was able to help her as much as she did me. I start humming “This Little Light of Mine” and the symbolism of the song surprises me.
Lexi was my light.
My phone jolts me awake. I pick up my hand out of the lukewarm water and look at my wrinkled fingers. I must have fallen asleep. Stepping out of the tub, I wipe my hand on the towel and grab my phone. It’s from an unknown number.
“Hello.”
I hear whimpering on the other end, but no other sound. “Hello? This is Addison, who is this?” I ask.
“Addie, please come get me,” Lexi cries.
“Lexi? What’s wrong? Where are you?” I ask, panic in my voice. I grab a towel and dry off with one hand while listening.
“I’m hiding in a room,” she sniffles. “The bad man tried to take me.”
Where the hell is her aunt or her security detail? I grab the first thing I can, which is workout shorts and a white T-shirt. I slip on my flip-flops, grab my purse, and I’m out the door in less than two minutes.
“Do you know where you are? Are you at a hotel?” I stop at the stairs because I know I’m going to lose my cell service. My heart is about to jump out of my chest, it’s beating so fast.
“No, we came to a store.”
“What store, Lexi?” I’m pacing now.
“The one with two red circles.”
Target. It must be the one that is right by their hotel. At least I hope that’s the one. “Lexi, my phone is going to hang up, but I will be there in a few minutes. Do not leave your hiding spot. Do you understand?” I plead with her.
“The man told me not to leave. The secret word is tater tot.”
Man? Secret word? What the hell is going on?
I quickly tell her goodbye and run down the stairs, wrapping my dripping hair in a bun.
It’s May and still a little chilly at night, but the adrenaline running through my blood has me burning up. I have the cab park next to all the cop cars and throw some money at him. Jumping out of the car, I make my way through the crowd. The officers let me by when I flash my badge. I’m walking in as Damon is walking out.
“Damon, where is Lexi?” I quickly ask him, not stopping to hear an answer.
“She’s fine, Addison. She’s inside with …”
Once I hear she’s fine, I speed up to find her. I don’t care who she’s with, I just need to see for myself that she’s okay. When I get inside, I scan the place, looking for that set of caramel eyes.
What I find instead are emerald green eyes. My eyes widen in disbelief. I freeze and inhale sharply. Aiden. He’s holding Lexi, and she’s slumped over his shoulder. He draws in a ragged breath as his eyes drag their way up my body. The heat from his gaze spreads through me like an inferno. Feelings hidden deep inside slowly make their way out. When his gaze stops on my breasts, Aiden arches his brow and flashes a salacious grin.
The inappropriate timing of his perusal of my body shocks me out of my frozen state. I look down to see what the hell he’s so fascinated by. Oh, my God! I cross my arms over my chest as my face flushes from embarrassment. In my haste to get dressed, I seemed to have forgotten a bra. And my wet hair made my shirt a little wet. Wet hair, wet, white T-shirt, add the cold temperature outside, and it makes me look like I should be entering into a wet T-shirt competition. My nipples are on full display for everyone to see.
When I hear Aiden chuckle, my head whips up. “Really?”
He wags his eyebrows and grins. “Hi, Addison,” he says, his voice softening. When Lexi hears my name, her head bobs up, and she wiggles out of his arms.
“Addie!” she screams, running into my arms. I scoop her up in a tight embrace.
“Hi, sweet girl.” I close my eyes and let out a soft sigh. I take a deep breath, loving the smell of Lexi. When I open my eyes, Aiden’s eyes are trained on me, assessing me as he stands with his arms crossed. His expression turns serious.
“Hey, Tater Tot, is this your friend who you kept saying was coming for you?” Aiden questions Lexi.
Lexi releases her tight hold on me to looks at Aiden. “Yes. Addie, this is Aiden,” she says. “He helped me hide.” I look at Aiden and chuckle at her introduction. This is definitely not how I envisioned our first time seeing each other.
She leans her head on my shoulder. “My aunt is dead,” she whispers.
I sigh. “I’m sorry, Lexi.” My stomach knots, thinking what she went through tonight. How the hell did this happen? “Lexi, did you see the bad man?” She nods her head, still resting it on my shoulder.
“I’ve seen him before.” What? I wonder if she did see him the night her parents were killed or did she recognize him from somewhere else. Her head jolts up like something stung her. “I did what you told me to do, Addie,” she says, proud of herself.
“Did you fight and scream?” I ask. The words feel like sandpaper coming out of my mouth. When I told her that, I was hoping she’d never have to do it.
“I did. When I scratched him, he yelled. He was mad,” she says as her eyes get huge. “And then I ran. That’s when Aiden found me. But he used my real name.” She scrunches her little nose. I look over at Aiden. He smiles and shrugs.
“Lexi, you said you scratched him?” I say, putting her down. She nods. I grab one of the police officers walking by.
“Who’s working forensics?”
“Alyssa and Jennifer,” he answers.
“Get Alyssa over here and tell her to bring her kit.” He nods and walks off.
“Lexi, you know how I told you about my job. That we look for clues to help find the bad person?” She nods. “Well, because you scratched him, you might be able to help us find the bad person.”
Lexi tilts her head with the look of confusion on her face. “I hope he has to go to the doctor and get lots of shots. Because they really hurt.” She rubs her upper thigh and then continues. “And then the police will know it’s him and they’ll take him to jail?”
Aiden chuckles, and I can’t help but smile. “Not exactly,” I say, trying not to laugh. Little kids and their imaginations. “Remember when I told you about DNA?”
“Yep. You said everyone has a different one.”
“Well, when you scratched him, you might have gotten his DNA under your fingernails.” She throws her hands in front of her, inspecting her nails.
“Yucky! I don’t want his DAN on me.” I chuckle as she starts shaking her hands. I grab her hands to stop her.
“Sweet girl, we’ll wash them after we’re done. Don’t you want to help catch the bad man?” Her bottom lip juts out as she nods her head. I hold her hands until Alyssa comes over.
“This is going to be really easy, and I promise it won’t hurt. But you need to be still, okay?”
She holds her hands out to Alyssa. “The DAN is hurting my hands, so can you please hurry?” Alyssa tries really hard to hold in her laugh, but she has to turn around to let it out. Thankfully, it’s silent. When she gathers herself, she turns back around.
“Okay, Lexi, let’s get that DAN off.”
“Listen, both of you. It’s DNA. D. N. A.,” I correct them. Alyssa chuckles. When I stand up, a jacket is wrapped around my shoulders. I look up to see Aiden warmly smiling at me.
“I didn’t think you’d want to be flashing everyone.” He winks.
I put my arms through and I notice the tags are still on it. “Aiden, I’m not going to get arrested for stealing, am I?” I say, holding out the tag.
He comes over and rips the tags off. “Don’t worry, I’ll pay for it,” he says defensively.
I laugh, zipping up the jacket. He’s right, though; I definitely don’t need to be flashing everyone. I watch him walk over to Damon. It’s the first time I’ve truly had a chance to look at him. He’s wearing cargo shorts and a black T-shirt. My heart shudders as I admire him from the backside. His broad back and powerful shoulders flex as he moves. My eyes gaze downward to his perfect ass. I gasp when my body tingles deep down in my core. Sensations that I haven’t had in months and didn’t know I’d ever have again are starting to wake up.
I panic and look away, trying to shove them back into the dark corner they’ve been hiding inside of me. I don’t know if I’m ready for that. I can’t even make myself have an orgasm. I sure as hell am not ready for a man to do it. I laugh when I think about Dr. Price telling me that masturbation is one of my homework assignments.
I push back all thoughts of orgasm and Aiden when I see that Alyssa has finished with Lexi. “Alyssa, can you take Lexi to wash her hands? I need to talk to some people about what is next,” I say quietly and point to Lexi.
She nods in understanding, grabbing Lexi’s hand. “Come on, Lexi, let’s go wash the rest of the DAN off your hands.” I roll my eyes.
“DNA,” I yell at her as she walks away.
A group has gathered around Damon and Aiden. They all stop talking when I approach. “Please, don’t stop talking on my account,” I joke, trying to ease the awkwardness that I’m feeling right about now.
“We were just talking about what we were going to do with Lexi,” Damon says.
I look around the group. “Well, I thought she could stay with me again until we figure out what to do with her.” It’s funny how things have changed in two weeks. Two weeks ago, I was begging for them to not send her home with me; now, I’m suggesting it.
“The fuck she is,” Aiden barks out.
I turn to face him. “Excuse me?” I say snidely.
“Addison, she’s in serious danger,” he seethes.
“I get that, but they’ll be guards.” I puff out my chest and stand taller. He does not get to show up out of the blue and tell me what I can and can’t do.
“She already had detail. Look what happened,” he grits out through his teeth as he gestures in the direction of the two bodies.
“It’s only until we figure out where we need to take her. And I know how to use a gun,” I say defiantly.
“A lot of good that did before.”
SMACK!
The sting on my hand from the slap to his face doesn’t even compare to the outrage that pours out of me. “Fuck you, Aiden.” I shake my hand, turning to leave this conversation before I say something I can’t take back.
A hand grabs my arm, and I feel Aiden’s hard body at my back. “Addison, I’m sorry,” he says softly. His voice hitches. My eyes fill with tears. I yank my arm from his grasp and walk away.
I hear him walking behind me. “Addison.”
“Let her go, Aiden,” Damon says.
I walk outside, needing air. My breathing is shallow as my body shakes from anger. I tell myself that I’m here for Lexi, not Aiden. He’s not even supposed to be working this case. I’m pacing the parking lot, doing breathing exercises, when I hear someone walking up. I glance over and see that it’s Damon, so I continue my pacing.
“You know he didn’t mean it,” he says. “He’s just worried about you being in a dangerous situation again.” I look at him with narrow eyes. “Hey, I’m not saying he didn’t deserve to be smacked. Hell, I almost punched him for that.” I smirk, knowing that Damon would do anything for me. He’s been a great friend. I stop pacing when Damon wraps his arms around me. “Have you calmed down enough to go finish our meeting about what we’re going to do with Lexi?”
I blow out a long breath. “No, but I’ll be okay. Let’s go.”
When we walk into the store, Lexi sees me and runs to me. “You get all cleaned?”
She shows me her hands. “Yep, I got all the DA … DNA off me.” She smiles proudly. I grab her hand and walk back to the group.
Child Protective Services is there. It’s the same lady who I’ve been working with the last two weeks. She warmly smiles at me when she sees Lexi’s hand in mine.
“We’ve decided that tonight Lexi will go to your apartment,” she states, looking at me. “But we’ll need to decide tomorrow where Lexi can go, somewhere she’ll be safe until we catch this guy.”
“I’m good with that,” I say, looking at Aiden raising an eyebrow.
He shrugs. “And I’m going wherever Lexi is going. So that means I’m coming, too.” A smug smile stretches across his face.
My mouth gapes open. “What?” I look around at everyone, expecting someone to remedy the situation. My glare lands on Damon. He must know that this isn’t a good idea. My eyes plead with him, and all he does is shrug. I mouth, Asshole. Unfortunately, the person who says something is Lexi.
“Yay!” She claps her hands. I narrow my eyes at her. Little traitor. She leans her head on my hip and whispers, “I like Aiden.”
“Tater Tot, I like you, too,” Aiden boasts, holding his hand out for a high five. She smacks his hand. I can’t believe this is happening. Everyone, including a five-year-old, is railroading me.
I blow out an exasperated sigh. “Then let’s go,” I say with resignation.
When we settle into my apartment, Aiden sits on the couch and watches me get Lexi ready for bed. I glance at him numerous times. His body is tense and his expression thunderous. When our eyes meet, his intense glare has me turning away quickly.
“I don’t know what the he…heck your problem is, but please stop staring at me. You’re making me nervous,” I scold.
“Why the fuck didn’t anyone tell me that she was staying with you for the last two weeks?” he says, standing and walking toward me. I shrug dismissively.
I see Lexi out of the corner of my eye, grabbing the jar, and giggle knowing what’s about to happen.
“This isn’t funny, Addison. This is serious.”
“Aiden,” Lexi says, standing right in front of him, holding the jar in one hand and her other hand on her hip. I put my hand in front of my mouth, trying to hide my amusement.
“Hey, Tater Tot. What’s up?” He ruffles her hair with his hand.
“You owe me a dollar.” The lost expression on Aiden’s face when he looks at me has me busting out laughing. His eyebrows furrow when he looks back down at Lexi.
“Okay, I’ll bite.” He narrows his eyes. “Why do I owe you a dollar?”
“This is the potty-word jar,” she says, holding up the jar. His expression still reflects his confusion. His silence has Lexi continuing. “You said a bad word. A very bad word,” she scolds.
Aiden glances my way, looking for help. “Don’t look at me. You said a very bad word,” I say, trying to sound serious but ending up giggling. “Do you see all those dollars in there already? Where do you think those came from?”
He peeks in the jar and chuckles. He pulls out his wallet and places a dollar in the jar.
“Thank you,” she says, putting it back on the shelf, obviously proud of herself. She goes back into the bedroom to get ready for bed.
“You could have warned me we have the bad-word police here.”
“There’s no fun in that. Don’t worry, it won’t be your last. That little girl has long-distance radar for hearing bad words.” I shake my head, laughing as I go into my room.
“Alright, Lexi, it’s time for bed.” She hops on my bed, slipping right into the middle. My heart warms seeing her in my bed again. I know the circumstances of her being here are horrible—and I might be a little selfish thinking it—but I love seeing her in my bed. I lie down beside her, cuddling with her.
“Are you sad about your aunt? You haven’t said much about her tonight,” I ask while I twirl her hair around my finger.
Her little shoulders shrug. “I don’t know her,” she whispers, staring into my eyes. “And I don’t like her very much. She wasn’t very nice to me.” I close my eyes and sigh. Bitch. Who couldn’t love Lexi the minute you meet her?
“Well, if you ever need to talk about it, you can always talk to me.”
“Is the bad man going to try and take me again?” she asks, moving her body a little closer to me.
“Not if I can help it.”
“I’m scared,” she whispers.
“I know, sweet girl, but you’re safe here with me.”
“And me, Tater Tot,” Aiden says sitting on the bed. She rolls over and smiles at him. Rolling back over and closing her eyes, I start humming our song. My eyes are closed as I’m humming when I hear a deep voice softly start singing with my humming. Aiden’s singing has always had a profound effect on me, but hearing him sing this song to Lexi … I can literally feel my fractured heart fuse together piece by piece. I open my eyes when I feel movement, and see Lexi reaching behind her with her little hand, searching for something. When Aiden grabs hold of her hand, she settles. Aiden lies down behind her and together we put her to sleep.
I keep my eyes closed, knowing that Aiden’s gaze is pinned on me. I’m afraid if he sees my eyes right now, he’ll misread the love that I have for him. I can’t deny that I love this man. Our connection hasn’t broken. But I am. He might think I’m not broken, but I am. I don’t know if I can put him through more than he’s already been through. I don’t know if I can give him all of me again. I wanted to die because of the love I have for him. It scares the ever-living shit out of me that he holds that much power over me. He doesn’t even know it.
We’ve come too far to start fresh. The past has molded me and while I’m definitely ready to move on with my life, I don’t know if I can move on with him. I squeeze my eyes tighter, I don’t even know if I’ll be able to handle being intimate again.
When we finish the song, I open my eyes and our eyes lock. His eyebrows draw together as he watches me. I nod toward the door and move as softly as I can to get off the bed. Aiden does the same.
I grab us both a bottle of water from the fridge and then sit on the couch. He sits down, laying his arm across the back of the couch, turned toward me.
“Where’d you go in there?” he asks.
I shake my head and look down. “Just thinking about stuff.”
“Addison,” he commands softly. I look up into his beautiful green eyes. “I have no clue where we stand, but the last thing I want to do is cause you more stress. If this is too much…” he gestures between us with his hand, “…you need to let me know. I can request to be sent back out in the field.” The thought of him leaving sends a sharp pain to my heart. And it confuses me. I’m all over the place tonight.
I sigh. “Aiden, seeing you has brought on feelings that I haven’t had in months. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. I don’t know—”
“You’re unsure. To me, that’s not a no,” he says, interrupting me, his voice confident. “I have no expectations other than it’s a maybe.” His lips curl up into a smile.
Can I do a maybe when a couple seconds ago it was more of a no? My thoughts are like walking a straight line, drunk. As much as my mind wants to move forward, it’s the needing to sidestep that is stopping me from getting there. And Aiden’s on the side where my body wants to go.
I softly smile back. “It’s a maybe. But not right now.”
“I agree, right now we need to find the son of a bitch who is trying to kill Lexi.” I look at the partially closed bedroom door. “You’ve become close to her,” he says in a hushed voice.
“I have,” I say, leaning my head on the back of the couch, looking at him. “How could you not? Have you seen those eyes? It’s like her little secret weapon to get people to do whatever the hell she wants you to do.” I laugh.
“I know that exact feeling about eyes hypnotizing you,” he says, arching his eyebrow. I roll my eyes with a shake of my head. I playfully reach my foot over and push his thigh.
“Stop. We’re not talking about me.” I narrow my eyes.
“Sorry, I was just saying that I understand,” he says, holding his hands in the air. The slight touch of my foot on his thigh makes my heart beat a little faster, but I can’t seem to move it away. It’s that damn pull we have, a side step. The one I’m trying to fight. And seem to be losing at the moment.
“She has helped me so much being here. She’s given me a reason to get better. She needs me.”
“I …” His voice falters when he stops midsentence. When he doesn’t continue, I already know what he was going to say. He reaches for the coffee table to grab his water and takes a big gulp. My foot loses our connection, and I instantly miss it. The feeling doesn’t last long, though, because when he settles back down, he grabs my foot, putting it back where it was. Touching him.
“So, what’s our plan of action with Lexi tomorrow?” he asks as he plays with his empty water bottle.
“I’ve been thinking about that,” I say, bringing the water bottle to my lips. After I take a drink, I continue. “The killer obviously didn’t know she was here or he would have tried something sooner.”
“She can’t stay here, Addison,” he states matter-of-factly.
“I know that. I’m not suggesting that.”
He gets up off the couch, walks toward the window, and pulls back the curtain. I already know who he’s looking for. Security. I’ve already checked a few times myself. “If he finds out where she is, you’ll be in danger now that we have his DNA. Whoever it is might be more motivated to do whatever it takes to find Lexi and fast.” Aiden shuts the curtains and stands tall, folding his arms across his chest. “Maybe you should go with Lexi, wherever we send her.”
“Aiden …” I stand up with my hands on my hips, “… I was out of work for almost four months. I am not leaving.”
“You know—”
“Stop. Not going to happen,” I say, shaking my head.
After a loud sigh of frustration, he says, “You are so fucking stubborn.”
I immediately look toward my bedroom door. I chuckle to myself that Lexi has me conditioned at the sound of curse words. When I don’t hear anything, I look back to Aiden. “You said a very bad word.”
The corner of Aiden’s mouth twitches. “Do you feel the need to punish me?”
I roll my eyes and launch my water bottle at him. “I’m going to make you sleep outside my front door,” I huff.
He catches the bottle and throws his head back, laughing. “Shh!” I whisper yell, pointing to the bedroom door. He covers his mouth to stifle his laugh.
“We’re getting off track. We need to go back to thinking about what to do with Lexi tomorrow,” I say, dropping back down on the couch.
“We can send her to Max’s. You know no one will be able to get her there.”
I sigh. “You’re right, she’d be safe. But I don’t like the idea of sending a five-year-old little girl to a house full of men. Not that I don’t trust them, I trust them with my life. But none of them have kids and would have no freaking clue what to do with a little girl.” I chuckle, remembering how much Lexi loved Max.
“What’s funny?”
“Lexi loved Max when she met him, like she has a little crush.” Aiden’s smile disappears and I can see his jaw flex before he looks away. “What did I say?”
He blows out a rough breath, shaking his head. “Nothing.”
“No, it’s not nothing, Aiden.”
“I’m feeling like I’ve missed so much, especially when it comes to you. Neither Max nor Damon told me about Lexi. Why the hell not?” I can hear the vulnerability in his voice and see the hurt in his eyes. He puts his hands in his pockets.
I bite my lip, thinking how I am going to say this. “I told them not to tell you,” I say, looking away from his pained eyes.
“Why?”
“Because. How you were acting a few minutes ago … I didn’t want you to worry about me.” I look up at him as he comes to stand right in front of me.
“I haven’t ever stopped worrying about you,” he murmurs, bending over and brushing my hair behind my ear.
“I know,” I whisper. He lets out a soft sigh and mumbles something about the bathroom.