I hate feeling like this. Like something big is about to happen. As much as I tried to push down those thoughts, there’s something banging on the inside of my brain telling me to watch out.
People are acting strange. And I don’t know if that is me reading into everything because of that damn banging noise or if it’s a warning.
It’s Thursday and we’re really slow today. Bryn from accounting asked me to go to lunch with her. I recall our phone conversation and it sounded urgent. I’m a ball of nerves now. I’m feeling off, people are acting off, and now this.
I hate this feeling.
We meet in the front of the building. The sun is trying to peek around the clouded sky. I feel like the sun as I try and burn off the clouds in my head.
“Hey, girl,” Bryn says, giving me a hug.
“Hey. You’re looking pretty sexy,” I tell her, looking at her gray pencil skirt and white, ruffled, silk top. Her hair in a twist, looking very professional. I envy that she gets to look like a woman at work. Unfortunately, I work in a lab or out in the field. Wearing a skirt or dressing up is definitely not practical.
“Thanks! But I secretly wish I could put your CSI jacket on and walk around so I look like a badass.”
I laugh out loud. “It’s not as sexy as you would think.”
“Oh, be quiet! You look hot in your CSI jacket. You’re a rock star and you know it,” she says, smiling.
I shake my head. I’m definitely not a rock star. Sexy nerd is more like it. Our chat to the deli is easy. We both like to people watch, and New York City is definitely the place to do it. We laugh as we pass someone dressed up as Mickey Mouse. A really deranged Mickey. They probably scare more kids than they get to take pictures with them. And then one block over we have the women who are naked on top with painted breasts, and right across the street we see The Naked Cowboy. Oh yes, we are in the land of equality. Something for everyone.
The smell of fresh bread hits my senses as we walk into the deli. I can taste the sour dough bread already. By the time we sit down, I start to second-guess the urgency of our lunch. Bryn hasn’t said anything to make me think something is wrong. Am I getting ready to start my period? I start counting days in my head. Maybe that’s why I’m being so sensitive. As I calculate, I shake my head … nope, not time.
We squeeze into a table that’ll fit just two. This is always a busy place for lunch. And loud. Chatter fills the air from every direction.
I bite into my roast beef sandwich and moan. I could eat this sandwich every day, it’s that good. Bryn laughs at me, and I shrug. I can’t help it.
I swipe my mouth with my napkin before I ask, “So, why did you sound so urgent on the phone?”
She just stuck a fork full of salad in her mouth, so she holds up a finger. I laugh. “Sorry. Why does that always seem to happen?”
She takes a quick drink of her tea and then laughs. “I know, right? So, do you know Ned?”
I twist my lips and think. Ned? Hmm … I shake my head when I can’t place the name.
“He works with me. Stiff asshole and not very good looking.”
“Oh, him,” I say, laughing. “I guess I never knew his name. But hey, he’s the one who was on the elevator with me and Aiden on Monday and get this … he leaned over and told me that Aiden wasn’t worth it on his way out.” I had forgotten all about him after our lunch that day.
She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, that’s him.”
“So, is he always an asshole? Aiden was about to kill him.”
“Well …” she says, grimacing, “I’m pretty sure once he hears what he said, he’ll still want to kill him.”
My eyes go wide. “What did he say?”
She crinkles her nose. “He, um … he told people that Aiden and Harper, are um … having an affair.”
I jerk back. “What?” I say loudly. People around us stop talking and look our way. “Why the hell would he say that?”
“You know it’s not true.”
I do. I know that Aiden would never cheat on me. Well, I hope he’d never cheat on me. I’m not stupid. I know it’s always a possibility, but after all we’ve been through, it’s not happening right now.
“Addison, that man loves you. I mean really loves you. The love you hear about in Cinderella stories.”
I chuckle at her comparison. “I know he loves me, but people have been acting weird the last couple days. Do you think they’ve heard this rumor and are afraid to tell me?” This has to be it. Poor Harper. Oh, my! If she’s heard the rumor, she’ll be so upset.
“How did you find out?” I ask her.
“Unfortunately, I heard from someone down in records.” I wince. If it has gotten to the second floor, it has gotten around. “So, I went straight to the rotten bastard and confronted him about it. He said he saw it himself. He said it happened on the elevator on Monday,” her voice lowers.
I think back to Monday and laugh. “I’m not exactly sure what he saw, but Monday Aiden and I were having sex in my apartment at lunch and then we both went back to work. Then after work, he came over for dinner with me and Lexi and stayed until bedtime. I’m not sure when he saw them, but it didn’t happen,” I say, using air quotes.
Her smile spreads across her face. “Why are you smiling?”
She sighs dreamily, sitting back in her chair. “I want a boyfriend to come sweep me off my feet and have sex with me for lunch.” I run my finger around my water glass thinking back to Monday and his tie. Blush spreads across my face when I meet Bryn’s eyes. “See? I want that, whatever just made your whole body light up.”
“You’re beautiful, Bryn. Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” I take a drink from my water, hoping we can move to a different conversation.
She waves her hand around. “Men suck,” she declares. “I don’t sleep around, so that eliminates half the male population right there. I’m intelligent and independent so that takes care of a huge chunk of men who want needy women, and I won’t chase a man so there’s the rest.” She shrugs. “I’m going to end up being the cat lady.”
“Do you have cats?”
“No! I hate cats,” she huffs. “Well, not really hate, just really allergic to them.”
“Well, then you really can’t be the cat lady,” I tease.
She throws a chip at me. “You know what I mean.”
“I think you just haven’t met the right one,” I say, tossing the chip back at her.
“Aiden have any friends?”
“Oh, he has friends. Hot friends. But according to Aiden, they’re all off limits to my friends.” I laugh.
“Well, that sucks.”
“We’ll find you someone,” I say and then look around the deli, noticing a couple cute guys a few tables over.
“Not here,” she whisper yells. I laugh at her freaked-out expression. “So do you have any amazing plans this weekend. Like jumping out of a plane or going to a beach house?”
I tilt my head. “How do you know that?” Being a closed-off person, there are very few friends who I talk openly with. Bryn isn’t one of them. I like her, but we just became friends a couple months ago.
“Oh. Was it a secret?” she says hesitantly. “Harper told me one day at lunch. I hope that’s okay.” Her shoulders droop.
I’m happy to hear it was from Harper. I definitely don’t want to become gossip at work. I balk at that. Who am I kidding? I’ve been the talk of the whole building for months.
“No, it’s okay, it wasn’t a secret.” She blows an errant hair out of her eyes and seems to relax. “So, about this weekend. Nothing spectacular. Aiden is taking me on a date tomorrow night. Sydney is taking Lexi. We try and go out at least once a week by ourselves since Lexi started living with me. Well, other than our trysts at lunch times.” I bite my lip and smile.
Tomorrow is my birthday, but when Aiden mentioned taking me to dinner, he didn’t say anything about my birthday. And I’m okay with that. I’ll tell him at dinner and he’ll probably be mad at me for not reminding him. I just hate for people to feel obligated to do anything for me. Syd always made a big deal about it, so I’m surprised she hasn’t said anything. But she’s been busy getting ready for school to start.
When I get back to the office, I look around for Harper. I need her to know that I would never believe that she and Aiden are having an affair. But I can’t find her. Her door is closed and looks like she’s gone for the day. Weird. She usually tells me if she’s leaving.
I pass CJ’s office, sticking my head inside. “Hey, is Harper gone for the day?”
“Yep, she took some vacation time off. Since we’re slow, she took tomorrow off, too,” she answers, not even looking away from her computer.
“Oh.” Well, shit. I hope this has nothing to do with the rumor. “Okay, thanks,” I say and walk back to my desk. I try and call her but it goes straight to voicemail. Well, this isn’t good. I decide to call Aiden. I’m not going to be the one to tell him about the rumor, but at least I can gauge his behavior to see if he’s upset about something.
“Hey, gorgeous,” he answers. His deep voice is so sexy. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired hearing it.
“Hi.”
“I wish we could’ve done lunch today,” he says suggestively.
“Oh, I bet you do,” I laugh.
“Seems you had other plans.”
“Following me, Agent Roberts?”
“Nope. But I have eyes and ears, everywhere,” he says jokingly. I search my memory of the people in the restaurant. The two guys sitting a couple tables over. The ones I thought were cute. They did look familiar. Shit. I can’t place them. I tap my finger on my desk.
“You’re trying to figure out who was there, aren’t you,” he asks.
“Um, yeah. There were two guys there. I noticed they looked our way a couple times. I didn’t think about it then, but now that I am, they did look familiar.”
He scoffs. “Are you checking other guys out, Addison?”
“Who are they?”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“I don’t think it warrants an answer,” I say defensively. Yes, I noticed them, but for Bryn. It kind of pisses me off he’s accusing me of checking out other men yet there’s a rumor of him and Harper going around.
The line is silent. I continue tapping my finger, waiting him out. We can play this game all goddamn day. I didn’t do anything wrong.
I hear him sigh heavily into the phone. I know he’s a jealous man, but I hope he doesn’t think I would ever do something.
“You know you’re all I see, right?” I say softly, breaking the silence. “You’re the only man I want.”
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs.
“I had noticed them because I was scoping out a guy for Bryn.”
“Who?”
“Bryn from accounting. She’s who I had lunch with.” I wait to see if there is a reaction when I mention where she works.
“The guys are the newbies who just started last month. They know who you are so they told me they saw you at lunch.”
“Answer me. You know, right?” I ask again. I need reassurance from him that he understands he’s the only man I need. Maybe I’m looking for it in return, too. Especially with a stupid rumor running around our halls.
“I know,” he replies. That’s it? He’s acting different. He’s definitely a jealous man, but for him to get jealous from me looking at someone seems a little extreme coming from him.
“Well, I have to get back to work,” he says. I can hear voices in the background and then him telling someone that he’ll be right in. “I’m going to have to work late tonight, too, so I won’t be able to come over.”
“Oh. Okay,” I say a little surprised. A small voice way back in a dark corner of my mind is making me question things. Harper took off early. Aiden won’t be available tonight. And add to it the rumor, it’s a mixture for disaster in my head.
“I’ll call you later though. I love you, Addison,” he says and hangs up before I can respond. See, he loves me, I tell the small voice creating havoc in my head right now, making me question things.
The rest of the afternoon I notice people whispering, watching me. I don’t know what the hell is going on, but I’m driving myself insane. I call Syd to try and calm myself.
“Hey, girlfriend,” she says.
“Hey.”
“What’s wrong, Addie?”
“People are acting weird. Do you think Aiden would cheat on me?” Sydney starts choking and coughing. “Are you okay?” I ask.
“Sorry, I was taking a drink of water. Went down the wrong pipe,” she replies, clearing her throat. “What in the world are you talking about? Why would you ever think that?”
“Never mind. I’m being stupid.”
She’s right. I’m being ridiculous. People are just whispering because I’m sure they’ve heard the rumor. But it’s not true. It’s not.
Aiden ends up not calling me tonight. Instead I receive a text.
Aiden: Can’t wait for our date tomorrow night. Miss you.
I don’t text him back. I’m a little upset he didn’t call me. I’m irritated with myself because he hasn’t done anything. But I can’t stop myself from feeling mad. Sydney comes over with pizza, and we have a girls’ night in with Lexi.
After we put Lexi to bed, Sydney pours a couple glasses of wine. I’m going over everything about today in my head when she hands me a glass and sits down on the couch beside me. I take a big drink and sigh.
“What’s going on?” she asks.
I look at the wine as I swirl it around in my glass. “There’s a rumor going around the department that Aiden and Harper are having an affair.”
Syd spews her wine all over, choking. I jump when I feel wetness on my legs. “What the hell? Are you having issues swallowing drinks?” I ask her, jogging to the kitchen to get paper towels. Thankfully it’s white wine.
She pats her chest. “Sorry,” she coughs. “Where the heck did that rumor start? And is that why you asked me that earlier?”
“Yes. And I don’t think it’s true. Well, I’m ninety-nine percent sure it’s not true.”
I tell her what Bryn told me and how everyone is acting in the office. And how Aiden seemed to get jealous over something so stupid.
“You need to stop over-analyzing everything. You know Aiden would never do anything to hurt you. Ever,” she says as she grabs my hand.
I push off the couch and throw my hands in the air. “I know that. I do. But something feels off. And I hate when things feel off.”
Syd tries to hide her smile. I narrow my eyes at her. “Why are you smiling?”
“You’re just being silly. Are you getting ready to start your period?”
“If you were a man, I’d hit you over the head,” I say, plopping back down on the couch. She laughs out loud. I can’t really be mad at her for asking. I had that same thought.
She reassures me that I have nothing to worry about before she heads home. As I lie in bed, I think about Aiden. I feel bad for not responding to him, so I fumble around for my phone on my nightstand. Finding it, I open up the texting app.
Me: I wish you were here right now. xoxo
Aiden: Me too, sweetheart. Is it tomorrow yet?
I smile wide. I wish it was. I don’t know why I’m feeling so needy. I place my phone back on my nightstand. Tomorrow can’t get here soon enough.