“I’m assuming by those flowers, tonight’s the big night,” Harper says, looking at the flowers on my desk.
I glance at the beautiful pink and red roses with huge pink lilies opened up to their full bloom and nod. Aiden asked me to go out on an official date with him sometime this week. I remember laughing and telling him that I thought we had passed that part of our relationship. He huffed like I was insane.
Of course, I told him yes, but I made him wait until the weekend. Being gone last week, I had a lot to catch up on when I got back. It wasn’t until the flowers arrived that I found out our date is tonight. And holy shit, the message on the flowers sends heat up and down my body.
Tonight is about discovery.
Holding on, never letting go.
xoxo, Aiden
Anticipation of what exactly we’re going to be discovering has made me worthless today. It’s a good thing we didn’t get a last minute crime scene.
“Do you know what you’re doing?” Harper asks, pulling me from my sexual thoughts.
“Nope. He’s sending a car to come pick me up at seven,” I say, rolling my eyes. I don’t know why he went through all that trouble. It’s like a glorified taxi.
“Aww, that’s sweet. Unnecessary, but sweet.” She laughs.
“I tried to tell him that, but he wasn’t having it,” I say, sighing.
“Well, have an amazing night. You deserve it. Call me when you can get away from Mr. Romantic and give me details.”
I laugh now. “You and your details.”
“Hey! I need to at least live vicariously though you since my dating life sucks right now,” she whines. I almost bring up Tony, but she might be embarrassed.
“Oh. I should introduce you to Jaxon. He’s an attorney here. He’s one of Aiden’s best friends and he’s hot.”
“And why haven’t I heard of this Jaxon?” she asks.
“I just met him last week,” I say, standing, then pick up my flowers and purse. It’s time to go get ready for my date. My stomach flutters with excitement. I’ve missed seeing Aiden this week. Harper opens my door for me and helps me lock it after it shuts. “But I’ll find out more about him. I’ll see about setting up a double date.”
“Sounds like a good plan to me,” she says, smiling and giving me a quick hug. “I’ll see you on Monday.” She walks in the direction of the subway while I head the couple blocks to my apartment.
At seven o’clock on the dot, the security guard phones to tell me that my ride is here.
Since Aiden didn’t tell me what we’re doing—which I hate—I had to figure out what to wear based on nothing. I glance at myself one last time before leaving. New York’s warm weather has arrived so I chose a short, black, silk shirt-dress with a drawstring waist. I close a button showing less cleavage but then change my mind and unbutton it. I want to look sexy for Aiden. I have my strappy heels on, lengthening my tanned legs.
I take a long look at myself and I smile at my reflection. This is the first time I’ve dressed up since I was kidnapped. My long curls drape my shoulders. My makeup brings out the blue in my eyes.
You look amazing, Addison.
I feel amazing, too. I’m seeing things clearer and for the first time since that day, I’m not looking in the mirror telling myself that I’m not a victim. I see a beautiful woman who has wants and needs and nothing is going to stand in her way.
I am that woman.
The town car stops in front of Aiden’s apartment, and the driver hops out. Aiden steps out of his building. I feel the beating of my heart increase. He comes down the stairs, his steps light, almost skipping down them but with authority. His dark jeans contrast his white button-up shirt. When he smiles, my insides sizzle. I sit back in the seat, taking a few breaths to calm my erratic heart, then scoot over to make room for him.
When the door opens, I expect him to get in. Instead, he leans in and holds his hand out for me to grab.
“Hey, gorgeous,” he says as his eyes rake down my body. That is not helping calm me. Goosebumps erupt all over.
I smile, grab his hand, and he helps me get out of the car. He shuts the door behind me and pulls me into his chest. He links our fingers, moving them behind my back. The bustling city around us fades to silence as we lose ourselves in each other’s gaze.
“I missed you this week,” he says quietly.
“I missed us,” I reply.
“You can’t blame me for not trying,” he says, flashing his sexy half smile. I laugh, thinking about the string of texts I receive nightly.
“If I’m basing how much you missed me by those texts, then I know exactly what you’re missing,” I say.
He shrugs. “What can I say? I’m a man. We’re physical beasts,” he explains, standing taller. I bite my lip trying not to laugh out loud. “But don’t mistake it for only wanting that. I want the whole package.”
He leans down, nipping my bottom lip before pressing his lips to mine. A soft moan escapes my parted lips. Our tongues meet in the middle.
The only package on my mind right now is the very large one pressed against my stomach. He growls into my mouth.
“Sweetheart.” It’s a heady warning.
“Yes?” I ask innocently.
His jaw tightens as he shakes his head slightly, an amused look on his face. “Let’s go, my little minx.”
“What?” I tease. “You said package and yours is begging to be unwrapped.”
“My package is always begging when you’re around,” he says, smirking. “But for now, he’s staying wrapped. Let’s go. Our food is waiting.”
He pulls me toward his apartment, but I stop him. “I thought we were going in the…” I turn and point to a now empty parking space, “…town car.” When the hell did it leave? I look at Aiden confused.
“We’re staying in tonight.” A boyish grin spreads across his face. “I want you all to myself.”
“I’m all yours.”
“Damn right,” he says and sweeps me off my feet, carrying me into his building. I let out a laugh as I press my dress against my legs, making sure not to flash anyone. He doesn’t put me down until we are standing in his apartment.
“I think I’m a little overdressed,” I say, straightening my dress as I stand in the middle of his living room.
Aiden stands in front of me, admiring my outfit. “You look perfect.” He pulls on one of my curls, and we both watch it bounce back up. “You are the most beautiful woman,” he says, kissing my forehead. My eyes close momentarily while I soak up his affection that he freely gives to me.
“You’re too good at this boyfriend thing. I don’t believe you’ve never done it before,” I say. Judging by his friends’ reactions to me, I’m pretty sure he wasn’t lying.
“I guess I was just waiting for the right one to come along to show off all my awesome boyfriend skills.” I feel his lips curl up against my forehead. “I told you when we first met that I had skills.”
I laugh out loud and look up at him. “When you told me that, I’m pretty sure you weren’t talking about boyfriend skills.”
He flashes a confident smile. “Okay, maybe not when we first met,” he admits. I bite my lip and smile. I’m not complaining. He definitely has skills. In all departments.
Aiden has dinner all set out, waiting for us. We eat and drink wine, each telling each other about our week. I tell him about my conversations with Lexi. His bouts of laughter when I tell him about her crazy stories, like chicken butts and eggs or when she tried to catch a pig but ended up rolling around and playing in the mud instead. My thoughts jump to this past week. My leg starts shaking under the table.
When I talked with her CPS advisor this week, I asked what was going to happen to Lexi when she returns. It broke my heart to hear that she would be placed in foster care. I hate that for her. Every night after talking with her, I wonder what it’d be like if she lived with me. If I could foster her. Having another human rely on you definitely isn’t an easy decision. I’ve spent this week away from Aiden, analyzing, reasoning, and questioning the likelihood of my abilities to be a foster parent. And I always come back to my situation; Amy took me in when I needed someone, no questions asked. I feel like this is what I’m meant to do. Fate put Lexi in my path to help me, but I also think I’m meant to help her, too.
As soon as I decide that yes, I can be that person to Lexi, I pull back, asking myself where Aiden fits in this scenario. What if he doesn’t want any part in this? He didn’t sign up to date a woman with a child. Will that change my decision? She’s a child. She needs someone there for her, fighting for her.
“Addison.” I look up from my food at the sound of Aiden’s voice. “Where’d you go?”
“Just thinking.”
His hand reaches across the table, covering mine. “It’s about Lexi, isn’t it?”
I sigh, biting my inner cheek. This conversation needs to happen, but I’m scared. I don’t want him to think that I don’t care about us, I do. I love him more than any man I’ve ever known. It’ll devastate me if I have to choose.
“Addison, please talk to me,” he says, squeezing my hand.
I shake the thoughts from my head. “Yes, it’s about Lexi.” He nods, but stays quiet. I clear my throat. “I talked to her social worker this week and asked what is going to happen to her when she gets back,” I say, playing with the napkin in my lap, avoiding his eyes.
“Addison, look at me,” he softly commands. When I look up, he smiles. “I know how much Lexi means to you. I saw that connection the first time I saw her with you. I know what you’re thinking,” he says. Oh, I’m not sure about that. “Sweetheart, I don’t want to be a reason that you don’t do something. I’ll stand by your side, through whatever.”
Relief, excitement, questions bubble up inside me all at once. Does he really know what I want to do?
“Even if it means Lexi living with me?” I ask slowly, still afraid he misunderstood what I was trying to say. He pulls me from my chair and sits me on his lap.
“Baby, I’m holding on, never letting go. I don’t care if you foster ten kids. You’d have to do a lot more than that to get rid of me.”
“God, I love you.” I crush my lips to his.
He moans into my mouth. When he pulls back he lifts me up and stands with me. “Let’s dance,” he says, leading me to the living room.
“Alexa, play ‘Marvin Gaye’ by Charlie Puth.”
What the hell? Who is Alexa? I look around the room, confused when the sound of a woman’s voice fills the air. Then the song starts to play.
Aiden pulls me into his body and starts to sway. I look up at him and smile wide. “I’m impressed.”
He bellows out a laugh. Grabbing my hand, he leads as we dance around. He sings every word, his deep timbre sending sparks throughout my body. Well, it’s probably the words coming out of his mouth, too. When he pushes me out and pulls me back in, I twirl into his muscular arms. My back to his front, he sings into my ear.
I giggle at the words. “Karma sutra, huh?”
It’s getting hot in here. I fan myself. He thinks I’m playing, but holy hell, my body is on fire.
When he pushes me out again, this time he pulls me back into his chest. I surprise him when I start singing Meghan Trainor’s part. I know I don’t sound as good as him, but I hold my own. He takes advantage of this time to run his lips down my neck. My voice quivers. It doesn’t last long before he’s singing again.
Damn it, my part needs to be longer.
I think I have a new favorite song. When it ends, he leans me back, kissing my neck, his lips traveling down my bare chest. I’m glad I decided to leave that button open. My body trembles as chills run up my spine as his soft lips leave kisses on my breasts.
His teeth unbutton a few more, opening up my dress to my black lace bra. His hand behind me, grabs my ass, pulling me into his erection. When the heat of his breath covers my lace-covered nipple, it hardens. He flicks his tongue over it before he pulls it into his mouth and sucks. I inhale sharply and moan. I feel skin to skin on my leg as he drags his finger up, lifting my dress slowly. I focus on the path his finger takes. He moves in between my legs, running along my lace. He teases me, grazing the outside of my soaked panties, pushing up into my sex.
“Take me to bed, Aiden,” I breathe out.
Without saying a word, he picks me up and takes me to his room, lying me down on the bed. His eyes are dark, laced with desire and lust. He pulls off my dress in one sweep. His eyes rake down my body. When he gets to my shoes, a growl erupts from his lips.
“You are the most magnificent sight,” he murmurs. “If I was to go blind today, I’d be a satisfied man knowing that I would never see anything more beautiful than you.”
My breath catches at his words. He leans down and takes off each shoe. Then he proceeds to take off the rest of my clothing. His touch is soft and tender. When he stands, he takes off his clothes, his eyes never leaving mine.
It’s not until he’s lowering himself, wrapping my legs around his face, that he closes his eyes. He buries his face in between my thighs as he works his tongue up and down.
As soon as two fingers tease in and out of me, I scream as my climax surprises me. I clench around his fingers as I buck against his tongue.
He slowly kisses his way up my body. His hands move up my arms, intertwining our fingers together above my head. He squeezes them when our eyes meet. His soft smile melts me. He’s waiting for me. Waiting for permission. I nod, granting it to him.
“I want you to fill the only empty space in my body, claim it as yours,” I whisper. “I need to feel you inside of me, Aiden.”
I can feel his hardness at my entrance. “Do I need a condom?”
Confusion turns to panic. Does he want to wait until next month for my six-month checkup? I was tested for everything under the sun after the rape, but they redo the tests at six months. Of course he wants to shield himself against possible sexual diseases.
“Addison, stop.” I look at him. “All I wanted to know was if you were still on the pill,” he says softly.
“Oh.” I close my eyes and blush in embarrassment. “Yes. But if you want to—”
His lips on mine stop me. He slowly pushes into me, stretching me as I feel his length filling me. I groan into his mouth, spreading my legs, opening for him. Once he’s seated all the way in me, he stops kissing me.
“Breathe, sweetheart,” he says as his eyes soften. I exhale the breath I didn’t even know I was holding. “Keep your eyes open, baby. I need you to see that it’s me filling you, loving you, becoming one with you.”
I nod as he slowly pulls out. A moan slips from my parted lips. My back arches as I feel every stroke caress my inner walls. His unhurried pace lets me adjust to the feeling of being filled. Our bodies move in sync to the slow, sensual ride.
Our gaze never breaks. His whispers of loving words penetrate deep inside me. He consumes me.
My heart.
My body.
My mind.
A sense of nirvana flows through me. He’s never owned every part of me at the same time. There’s always been a piece of me that has held back. I’m giving myself to him.
Completely.
I squeeze his hand in mine and wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him in deeper.
“I love you,” I whisper, looking into his eyes. His lips curl into a smile. “Now kiss me.”
His mouth slams down on mine without hesitation. The quick movements of his hips intensify his thrusts. I hold my legs tight around his waist, causing his strokes to be small and fast.
Pleasure explodes through my body as my heat spreads around Aiden. My toes curl as I pulse around him, squeezing him tight. His head falls to the curve of my neck as he growls though his release. He thrusts a couple more times before collapsing on me.
“Alexa, play ‘Die a Happy Man’ by Thomas Rhett,” he commands, lifting his head from my shoulder. Music fills the air.
“Who is Alexa?” I ask.
All of a sudden the music stops playing. Oops. What did I do? I look around the room.
“Shh,” he says, chuckling. The music begins to play again. “If you say her name, she stops what she’s doing and waits for a command.”
“You like that, don’t you,” I say, smiling. “Obedient woman, waiting for your command.”
“If I liked that, I’m with the wrong woman.” His voice is laced with humor. He lays his head down on my shoulder and softly sings the song to me. He pours his feelings into the song, word by word. It takes me back to when he first sang the song to me in Central Park. Then, it was just the song that happened to be playing at the concert so I didn’t know if he meant those words. Right now the words send sparks to my heart, making it beat to a tune only Aiden can carry.
When the song ends, I exhale slowly. “Aiden, I’ve already told you that the love I feel for you scares the shit out of me,” I say softly. He pushes up on his elbow, lying on his side. “I need you to know why.” He nods, keeping quiet. “I’ve never felt a love so deep that I felt I couldn’t…” I pause to catch a breath, “…live without it.” I look around the room, trying to gather my thoughts. “When Joe told me that he had killed you, I lost all desire to live. I wanted to die so I could be with you. Forever.”
I find Aiden’s eyes and tears fill them. I need to keep going to get this out in the open. “Then when I found out you lived … I felt like I wasn’t good enough for you.” I look away from the pain in his eyes.
He clears his throat. “Addison, you weren’t in the right state of mind to have made a clear decision in both those instances,” he says with a shaky voice.
“Even so, I wanted to die for you. This kind of love scares me.” My breath hitches. “But, I also see now that’s what love is. Someone you would do anything for. I’m fully aware that my decisions were … extreme because of the situations I was in, but it still scares me.”
He wraps me in his arms and squeezes me. “Sweetheart, it scares me, too. I would do anything for you,” he whispers into my hair.
We hold each other in silence. The love between us wraps all around us, binding us together in invisible ropes. Love is an actual thing. It makes us do irrational things, blinds us even, but in the end it’s the most beautiful thing that can happen between two people. And I wouldn’t want it with anyone else.
My eyes get heavy as the warmth of Aiden’s embrace relaxes me. I’m startled when Aiden jumps up on his knees and bends over me, reaching for his nightstand.
“What are you doing?” I ask Aiden, watching him search the top drawer of the nightstand. I giggle when I wonder if he’ll pull out a vibrator. I mean, isn’t that what all nightstands are for? It’s where mine are. Hmm … I guess I might want to hide those if Lexi lives with me.
He finds what he’s looking for and waves it around in the air. A deck of cards?
“Well, I hope you’re not wanting to play strip poker, because you’re a little too late,” I tease, looking down at my naked body.
He pushes back to a seated position and pulls me up so I’m straddling him. I wrap my legs around him and sit back enough to steady myself.
He stares at me, like he’s contemplating what to say. “I know your body, probably better than my own,” he says seriously. My eyebrow lifts. “Every erogenous zone you have. I know exactly where it is and exactly how to touch it to make your body ignite.”
“Is that right?” I say, looking at him with a dare. He throws the deck of cards down, obviously taking my dare.
“Mmm-hmm,” he hums as he runs his fingers up my leg. When he gets to my knee, his fingers brush behind my knee. The slight touch sends a current straight up to my sex, and I shudder.
“Okay, you got lucky,” I say as my voice hitches.
“Sweetheart, it’s not luck,” he rasps, looking up from where his hand now travels up my thigh. It stops right on the inside of my thigh. With soft strokes of his thumb, he starts to move higher, my mind and body buzzing with the imminent destination of his thumb. I watch each stroke, my pulse quickening. Until it stops. When his hand retreats, still circling his thumb but now moving away from my building ache, I glare up at him.
He flashes a devilish grin. He continues his tantalizing, torturous exploration of my body. Proving time and time again that he does know my body. He owns my body.
It’s his to take.
It’s not until he finds the spot above my pelvic bone that I concede. He lays me down. The burning ache deep in my belly is so intense that I wonder if I’ll ever be sated. I look at my body, his fingers tormenting that erogenous zone, but it’s his hardened cock that gets my attention.
“Aiden,” I breathe out in desperation. My hips move, trying to rub his head against my throbbing clit. He looks at me with dark and pleading eyes. I moan out and slam my eyes shut when he grabs his cock and presses it against me. My back arches off the bed as I grab hold of the sheets around me.
“Nobody knows your body like I do, Addison,” he growls.
“Only you, Aiden.”
His restraint breaks as he slams into me. He exhales sharply and groans. I scream out as he fills me, stretches me. His hands grab my hips, pulling me into him, as he thrusts wildly.
Getting on his knees, he spreads me open wider, holding my feet out. Noises of grunts and our bodies slapping together fill the room as our orgasms rip though both of us. Our bodies dance to the erotic ride. A ride I don’t want to ever get off.
A half hour later, Aiden has the cards back in his hand. This time, he’s got a pair of shorts on. And I have a T-shirt on, one I didn’t put on myself. I bite my lip and lift my brow, watching him when he sits across from me on the bed.
“I can’t do what I want to do when you’re distracting me with your naked body.”
I exhale, looking at his sculpted chest and abs. He is so gorgeous. And he thinks I’m distracting.
“Do I need to put a shirt on?” he jokes.
“Yes.” There is no humor in my voice. My body is tingling already.
He flops back onto the bed, with a shirt on, and takes out the deck of cards and shuffles them. “As I was saying, I already know your body …” He pauses and tilts his head. My body is screaming for me to contradict it, hoping he’ll prove it again. He laughs, shaking his head, knowing what I’m thinking. “Woman, I will show you repeatedly what I can do, but later,” he rasps. I will definitely make sure he follows through with that promise.
He pulls me in his lap so I’m straddling him again. Doesn’t he know how this ended last time?
“I know your heart,” he says, leaning his head down, pressing his ear against my chest.
“You know it because it’s yours,” I whisper, running my hands through his hair.
“But,” he says, gazing into my eyes, “I feel there is so much more to know about you in here.” His forehead touches mine as he cups his hand around my head and his thumb rubs my temple.
I understand what he’s saying. There have been many times that I hear something about Aiden that I think, I didn’t know that. I should know that.
I nod in agreement. “So I thought we’d play poker. Winner gets to ask a question.” I smile wide. We’ve played this game before. “This time,” he says, interrupting my memory, “we only tell truths.”
“Truths,” I say, agreeing.
It’s the simplest of questions, but it’s what make us, us. It’s the building blocks of our foundation. The reason we tick the way we do. The questions are limitless. Childhood dreams to future fantasies. The latter ends with us and lots of kids. Well, the lots of kids, was his truth. My truth was two of them. We’ll have to work on that.
“I’ve never even thought of having kids. But just thinking about you growing part of me in that beautiful body of yours …” He stops, pushes me back, lifts up my, shirt and presses soft kisses across my stomach sending tingles down my spine. “Before you, nothing mattered. Revenge poisoned my mind to the point I didn’t even care for my own life. I was reckless.” A bitter laugh escapes his lips as he lays his head down on my stomach. “When I tell you that Max and I were crazy, that’s an understatement. I can’t even admit half the stuff we did.”
I smile, just imagining the crazy stunts they pulled. “I think you’re selling yourself short,” I say, pushing up on my elbows. “You made it into the FBI. That’s not a small feat. Even if it was fueled by revenge, something good came from it.”
He doesn’t say anything. With his hand on my side, he brushes his thumb back and forth against my hipbone. “What prevented you from taking revenge?” I ask.
He looks up at me. “You.”
I swallow at his heartfelt answer. But it wasn’t the one I was looking for.
“No,” I respond. His brows furrow. “You were living with Travis for a year before you met me. If you truly wanted reckless revenge, you would have done something long before I came around.”
He smiles into my stomach and then lays his head back down. I can feel his heated breaths through my shirt. “I liked the bastard too much,” he admits with a chuckle.
Mixed feelings stir inside of me and not because of his revelation. That isn’t surprising. Travis seems to be a likable guy. It just feels weird talking about him.
“When I first got there and couldn’t find a damn thing linking him with my parents’ death, the more time I spent with him, the more I questioned if he actually did it. Deep down, I knew he did, so I decided at that point to do the job I was actually sent there to do.” He pauses, getting lost in thoughts. “Travis is a very intelligent guy. He seems to only make mistakes when it comes to the women in his life,” he says, pushing his body back up against mine.
Our eyes meet and I nod. It’s true. It’s a hard fact to accept when you’re on the receiving end of those mistakes. There have been a couple times that I wish I knew him better. That maybe we can get to know each other.
Then the thoughts pass and I realize I must be getting ready to start my period because there is no way in hell that we can ever be close. Damn hormones.
“But it was you who made me see that I wanted more out of life than revenge,” he says.
“You were always a good man, Aiden, just misguided. Your compass was broken. It just needed a good shake.”
“And it was a damn good shake.” He leans over and kisses me. He pulls back fast and sits up. “Back to cards, woman. We’re not done,” he says, shuffling the cards.
With his next winning hand he says, “I want to hear about your mom.”
“That’s not a question.”
He shrugs. “I still won, so talk,” he demands, poking me in the stomach.
The next hour we exchange stories about our moms. Never with hesitation. Never with regret. We talk about our moms with the love in our hearts set aside just for them.
“My mom would have loved you,” I say.
“Why is that?”
“Well, you’re gorgeous for one.” He shakes his head, dropping it. “And you’re intelligent, you’re passionate, you challenge me, you entertain my stubbornness, and you love me. Scars and all.”
“Do you know what I think?” he asks. I shake my head. “I think fate led us to each other. But falling in love … that was our mothers’ doing. They’re probably together, looking down on us, celebrating.”
Tears well in my eyes as my smile widens. A laugh escapes my lips, imagining them dancing around and high-fiving each other.
“Thank you for that,” I hiccup. My voice hitches with emotions. He climbs on top of me, kissing me passionately. I bite his lip, ending the kiss. “So, I wonder what your mom was thinking when I shot you?”
He barks out a deep and sexy laugh. “She was probably you’re biggest cheerleader, saying I deserved it.”