I unload thirty rounds before I calm down. When Max found me outside pacing with my arms around my neck, he didn’t ask questions. He just brought me to the gun range.
It’s exactly what I needed. To put power back in my hands when all I felt was failure. Failure to protect Addison. Failure at not watching what I say. Just plain failure.
I know everything that happened. I read the goddamn report. I know. I put the gun down, dropping my head, as I lean on the table. The sun beats down on me as sweat beads form on my forehead.
“Fuuuckk!” I yell.
“You feeling guilty about this is about as fucked-up as Addison feeling guilty.” Max’s words come from behind me. I turn to see him leaning against a post with his arms crossed.
“It’s my fault she went back there.” I rest against the table, my shoulders dropping. “To see the pain in her eyes, the fight in her body … I wanted to kill someone, again,” I grind out, scrubbing my hand over my face.
“You and me both, brother,” he says. He clears his throat. “But you don’t have a clue what’s going to set her off, so it’s pointless to think it’s your fault.”
Fuck. He’s right. I think. I don’t know. I should know what might set her off and avoid that at all costs. I groan in frustration. How the hell am I going to do that when I can’t keep my hands off of her?
“I don’t know what to do,” I say, kicking dirt around.
“What you’re going to do is hold on tight and be there for her. You both are so stubborn, it amazes me how perfect you are for each other.” He chuckles. I blow out a breath, giving him a slow nod.
My phone dings. Pulling it out from my pocket, I see I have a text. I close my eyes and shake my head. This woman. The smile on my face doesn’t even come close to how I feel right now. I pull up the song and listen.
How ironic Max is telling me to hold on. Like letting go is even a possibility. She reeled me in the second I saw her. Then I had to taste her and I was lost. Gone. I never knew what it felt like to crave something so badly and not be able to have it until she left. She’s slipped through my fingers, twice. I will make damn sure it doesn’t happen again.
I type a few responses, deleting them just as fast as I type them. Grow some balls, Roberts. Tell her how you really feel.
ME: I want forever, so letting go isn’t an option.
I tuck my phone back into my pocket and notice Max waiting for me in his Jeep. I hop in and put my aviators on.
“You good?” he muses.
“Little nervous,” I reply, running my hands down my shorts. “I hope I didn’t just run Addison off.”
Max laughs out loud, grabbing my shoulder. “You haven’t run her off yet, and that’s saying a lot since she shot you.” He laughs again as he starts the Jeep and drives back to girls. I’m never going to live that down. I can just imagine everyone telling our kids that story one day. Our kids. Damn. I’ve never even thought of having kids, but just thinking about Addison having my kid excites the hell out of me.
My leg is shaking. I check my phone just in case I didn’t feel it vibrate. Nothing. Why am I so nervous? It’s not like I asked her to marry me.
Fuck, might as well have, I told her I wanted forever.
I throw my head back on the seat, looking up at the clear blue skies. I can’t think of one emotion that I haven’t had in the last couple hours.
Lust. Fear. Pain. Guilt. Anger. Excitement. Love. Nervousness.
To say she owns me is an understatement. We park and I let out a long sigh. I stand tall. I’m a confident man. Even if Addison doesn’t see forever right now, she will.
When I walk into the room and see her zipping up her jumpsuit, her eyes dart up to mine. I stare at her, looking for … anything. Everything.
“Stop trying to read me.” She smiles, inching toward me.
“What? That’s my job,” I say innocently.
“Well, Agent Roberts, what do you see?”
“I see a gorgeous woman who wants forever with me.”
“I didn’t say what do you hope you see,” she giggles, standing right in front of me.
“Ouch.” I clutch my chest, looking down at her. “You wound me, woman.”
“Well, let me fix that.” She stands on her toes, bringing her lips to mine. Her lips are soft and full … and perfect. I try to hold back and not devour her. Let her take the lead. When she pushes into my body and her hand wraps around my head and runs through my hair, I lose that battle.
I pick her up and her legs wrap around me. I can’t get enough of her addictive taste. I’m starving for her; every second I’m not with her, the hunger is insatiable. That can’t be normal. Right?
“Oh!” I hear Syd say as she opens the door. “I guess I’ll give y’all a minute.” She giggles, backing out of the room.
“I need more than a minute,” I murmur, pulling back, gazing into her eyes.
“How about forever?” she whispers.
I think I just felt my heart skip a beat. I think the flush of adrenaline tingling throughout my body has left me speechless. Hearing those words come out of her mouth spins my world off its axis.
I wait for a but …
Instead she smiles. “Did I shock you that much?” She chuckles.
“Yes. No. Yes.”
She raises an eyebrow. “I’ve never heard you so indecisive.”
“I was just waiting for your stipulations. You’re never easy.” I grin.
“I don’t know about that. You got me in bed on day four.”
“If you think that was easy, you need to experience a hard-on for four days. I was in fucking agony.”
Our laughter must be Max and Sydney’s cue. They both walk in.
“If you plan on us getting to the beach house before midnight, we need to get moving,” Max states.
Syd’s face jerks to Max. “What? You’re going to the beach house?” She looks quickly to me and Addison, her eyes wide.
Addison hops down out of my arms and shrugs. “I didn’t know, but there are three rooms there. Plenty of room,” she says, trying to reassure her. She mumbles something under her breath, and Max laughs and shakes his head.
Addison doesn’t get it. Doesn’t see it yet. But I know Max better than anyone. There’s a shit storm brewing, and I’m not sure I can even stop it. Damon and Max are going to have to figure this out on their own.
Addison claps her hands. “I’m ready. Let’s go,” she says, grabbing my hand.
After going through our checklist of making sure everything is set, we head to the plane. Stone is checking off his own list with the plane. I’m relieved he’ll be flying us up. Hudson, the other guy on Max’s team who can fly, thinks he’s Evil Knievel. I’m all about an adrenaline rush when I’m by myself, not so much with Addison.
Stone wraps his arms around Addison and gives her a hug when she comes up. I tilt my head, wondering what the hell. Jealousy. I can mark that one off the list now. He looks at me and winks. I narrow my eyes. He laughs, letting her go.
“You doing okay?” he asks her. I’m not surprised by his question. Hell, he knows everything she’s been through.
“Better than I have been in a long time,” she says, looking at me. I stand a little taller hearing her say that. I want to beat my chest and yell, “She’s mine.”
Then, I about fall over when he says, “Hey, Syd, you’re looking pretty hot in that jumpsuit.”
She giggles and says in her southern accent, “Thanks, Stone.” Oh, shit. I shake my head. Stone has no idea what’s about to happen.
I glance over at Max, waiting. Because it’s coming. His expression is solid. I’ve been trying to read Max for over half my life. I still don’t know what the hell he’s thinking half the time, but I know his reactions. Precise and to the point.
“Stone, I need you to do the parameter check when you get back. Hudson had something come up this afternoon.”
There it is. Stone’s eyes go wide in surprise, but he knows not to question it. I want to laugh at the whole situation, but I think it’s best I keep quiet.
The parameter check is the shit job. And usually you get it when you screw up. Max has acres of land, and the check consists of riding along the parameter, checking each of the security checkpoints for hours on an ATV in the rain, sun, snow … doesn’t matter. It sucks no matter what the weather is.
I help the girls get on the plane after Stone stomps his way to the front of the plane. When Max gets behind me, I turn and smile. “Strong-arming it, huh?”
He pats me on the back. “Don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.” He laughs.
“Well, you could’ve waited until we were ready to jump to issue a punishment, asshole.” Now I have to fly in a plane with a guy who’s really ticked.
He freezes, just realizing his mistake. “He wouldn’t dare.” I shrug. Too late now.
The engine starts up. “Maybe I should get Hudson.”
“No fucking way. I’m more afraid of what he’d do than Stone,” I say, hopping in the plane. He’s right behind me because I’m sure he agrees.
I sit behind Addison, pulling her into me. She relaxes, rubbing her hands down my legs. We watch out the window as the ground gets farther and farther away and the sky opens up, welcoming us. The ride is smooth, and we reach our targeted altitude.
I make sure we’re attached and whisper, “Just you and me, sweetheart. Leave everything else up here.”