CHAPTER TWO
Beau
My brother, Beau, is the best man I know. ~ Love, Kenny
“It smells good in here,” I said as I stepped into the house, the scent of basil and oregano filling my nose.
“I’m making meatballs!” Kenny looked over his shoulder at me and smiled as I came into the kitchen. The leather journal he often wrote in was on the counter beside him.
Mom cleared her throat from where she stood looking through a cabinet.
“We’re making meatballs.” Kenny caught my eye again and rolled his.
“That’s better.” Mom closed the cabinet, walked over, and kissed my cheek. She wore jeans and her Campbell’s Confections shirt. It had been the name of the bakery before Dad left, before he’d decided it was too hard having kids, especially one with special needs, and bailed on us when I was eleven. People had asked her why she hadn’t changed it and taken her maiden name back, but she always said her boys were Campbells and so was she.
Her brown hair was in a bun, short curls having slipped out around her ears. Her eyes were tired, yet happy in a way I’d grown up with. It hadn’t been easy for her to raise Kenny and me alone, but she’d done it and she’d loved it. There wasn’t a part of me that didn’t know my mother would do it all over again, that we were her heart—especially Kenny. He was impossible not to love, they both were, which was why I fought never to feel sorry for myself for staying. That’s what family did.
I walked over to my brother and ruffled his hair. “Don’t worry, Kenny. I know you did all the work,” I teased, and Mom laughed.
“Don’t ruffle my hair, Beau. I’m not a baby!” Kenny gave me a playful evil eye, and I held up my hands in defeat.
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t know you were too cool for affection from your brother now. Being twenty will do that to a guy.” Kenny had turned twenty a few days before and hadn’t stopped reminding us about it. He suddenly felt grown up, not being a teenager anymore.
“You’re being sarcastic,” he replied, and both Mom and I chuckled. Kenny’s eyes glowed like they so often did, a smile pulling at his lips. The simplest things made him happy—laughter, birds, sunshine. The world would be a whole lot happier place if everyone looked at it through Kenny’s eyes.
“Yeah, I am,” I finally replied.
“Wash your hands. Dinner is almost done,” Kenny told me.
“Yes, sir.” God, I loved him.
A few minutes later we sat down for dinner. I tried to come over and eat with Mom and Kenny at least once a week, though it wasn’t always easy between work and coaching Kenny’s football team. But the three of us were all we had as far as family went.
“How’s work?” Mom asked.
“Not too bad. That Hudson fire was brutal. Lost the whole damn building, but luckily, no lives.”
It was an accident that I’d fallen into firefighting. I spent some time waiting for a football career to come find me in Fever Falls and make all my dreams come true. I don’t know why that shit didn’t happen. I forgot that yes, while we were an up-and-coming town with both urban and rural areas, and high school football was life, it stopped there. Had to head to the bigger cities for college or professional teams.
Then there’d been a kitchen fire at home. Luckily, there hadn’t been much damage, nothing a slight remodel couldn’t fix. I’d already moved out, but the thought of what could have happened to my mom and Kenny had given me a sort of jump start. And now I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. Well, I could sort of imagine playing football, but obviously that wasn’t going to happen. Still, I loved what I did. Gave me purpose, if that made sense.
“You’re a hero!” Kenny said, and my pulse went crazy. He always said that of me, but I didn’t deserve it. Not really.
“Nah, that’s you.” I winked at him, and he gave me another of those hundred-watt smiles.
We were quiet for a few moments. I made sure to oooh and ahhh about how good dinner was, which again made my brother practically bounce in his seat. When we finished eating, Mom offered to do the dishes, and Kenny and I didn’t argue with her.
We went into the backyard and tossed my football back and forth for a little while, and I had to admit, feeling the leather against my skin made my chest ache…brought forth images of Ashton Carmichael—the muscles he’d put on since high school, his short, brown hair and those blue, blue eyes. Oh, and a career I would have killed for, which he’d recently thrown down the drain for a piece of ass. Or, as the articles had said, four of them.
Fucking Ashton Carmichael. I hadn’t seen him since he left home, exactly one week after that night. When we’d run into each other after the kiss, we’d both acted like nothing had happened, but I’d been thinking about it. I’d hated myself for it, but I had.
Was Ash gay too?
Bisexual?
Did it make him realize he’d had feelings for me the way it had done for me?
Apparently, the answers to those questions had all been no because Ash had thrown himself into more than football when he left—he’d thrown himself into women. A lot of them. Apparently, sometimes in groups of four.
Pain shot through my nose, and I stumbled back as the football fell to the ground. “Shit!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Kenny’s voice was frantic as he ran over.
“Hey. I’m fine. My fault for not paying attention, not yours.”
I took my hand away. It wasn’t even bleeding, just a bit sore.
Kenny’s eyes found the ground, not looking convinced.
“Dude…I’m fine. Have I ever lied to you?” I wrapped an arm around his shoulder.
“No.”
“And I’m not about to start now.”
His cheeks got slightly red for a second, and I wondered what I could have said to make him bashful.
“Were you thinking about a boy?” Kenny asked.
Yes…yes, I was. I didn’t plan to open that can of worms with him, though. “What makes you ask that?”
His cheeks turned three shades redder, and my stomach clenched while my heart swelled for him. Kenny had only had one real crush that he’d talked to me about, but it had been one of those things that never could have happened.
“There’s this…girl. She’s new to my group.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and dug the toes of his shoes into the dirt.
Kenny met with a Down syndrome group called Pathway once a week. He’d made a lot of good friends there, and I was so happy he had it. That, along with his football team and the college classes he was taking, and Kenny had a more exciting life than I did. He’d always been what they considered high-functioning. He also hadn’t had a lot of major health problems. He had a mild digestive issue, which a lot of people with Down syndrome had, but no heart defects, which were also common in people with his disability. He’d spoken late, and his speech had been hard to understand in the beginning, but after a lot of speech therapy, he was now pretty easy to understand.
There would never be anyone in the world I was more proud of than Kenny.
“And do you like this girl?” I asked him. “It’s okay if you do, Kenny.”
“I think so,” he replied. “She’s real pretty. She has red hair and freckles. And the other day I was thinking about her and I wasn’t paying attention, so I ran into a pole…so I thought maybe you were thinking about a boy you liked too.”
Goose bumps pebbled down my skin. I remembered what it had felt like when Ash’s lips pressed down against mine—as if the whole world had suddenly made sense. Like I’d been living in the dark and didn’t know why, and Ash had turned on the light. Not because he was Ash. I’d probably crushed on him, and had definitely thought he was hot, but it was more because he was a man.
I couldn’t bring myself to admit it, though…that it had been more than sexual awakening, because he was Ash and I’d hated him. How could I like him if I’d hated him? And I certainly didn’t want to admit to thinking about him, because it meant conceding to the allure of Ashton Carmichael.
Still, I’d been telling the truth when I said I didn’t lie to Kenny, so I answered as carefully as possible. “It’s normal to think about someone you’re attracted to or have a crush on. I’ve done it plenty of times. I’ve even tripped and ran into a pole while thinking about them too.”
“Really?” Kenny’s light-brown eyes glowed.
“Yep, seriously.” I squeezed his shoulder and kissed his forehead. “Now, are you going to tell me about this girl, or what?” I asked him.
We sat down right there in the middle of the grass, and Kenny did just that.