CHAPTER SEVEN
Ashton
Ashton “How about another drink” Carmichael is really in trouble this time!
The second I heard the front door close, I scrambled out of bed, which made my head spin, and made my way into the bathroom. My hands shook as I fumbled with my pants, dancing around despite my hangover. Once I had my dick out, the pressure inside me released and I emptied my bladder, which had been incredibly close to exploding.
I’d woken up at dawn, needing to take a leak like I never had in my life, but Beau had been there. The last thing I’d needed was to embarrass myself in front of him, and thank God, he didn’t stay long after. He woke up, sneaked out, and now, as I finished taking my piss, I was moaning in pleasure like I’d just had the best orgasm of my life.
He’d stayed with me all night… Beau had stayed…
I was slightly embarrassed he’d had to and surprised that he would. Most people didn’t just do nice things for me because they were nice. They did them because they could get something from me, even if I didn’t figure out what it was until later. Yet somehow, I knew that wasn’t Beau. He’d done it because he was a good guy, but then, that had always been Beau. He’d always been better than most people I knew.
I shook, washed my hands, tugged off my clothes, and fell back into bed. It was almost noon when I woke up the second time, my stomach growling and my head feeling too groggy. Rubbing a hand over my face, I walked naked to the bathroom, swallowed two ibuprofens, took a second piss, and then stumbled into the shower attached to my childhood bedroom. There was a familiarity I wanted in being there again, while at the same time, a part of me wanted to rebel against it. It was like going backward, falling from grace.
I’d failed. I’d fucking failed, and I didn’t know how to deal with that.
Once my shower was finished, I used my face cleaner in hopes that it would make me look less hungover. The bags and dark circles were still there, and I was pretty sure my eyes were more bloodshot than they had been before.
Apparently, they made strong drinks at Fever Pitch.
I found some clean jeans and a tee, brushed my teeth, ran some gel through my hair, and decided I needed to get some food into my stomach before it began eating itself. Bypassing the fully stocked kitchen, I went straight to the door…where my feet rooted to the floor.
Shit. I didn’t have my car. It wasn’t the first time I’d woken up without my wheels, so I grumbled on my way out, planning to take an Uber, but when I opened the door, there it was. Holy fuck, Beau had gotten my Beamer home.
A smile pulled at my lips, and again, I wasn’t surprised. That was Beau. He’d always been the first in line to help someone, only usually that someone wasn’t me. He reserved frowns and scowls for me, not that I could blame him.
And then, before I realized what I was doing, I’d driven straight to Campbell’s Confections, the bakery Beau’s mom owned. Or at least she had ten years ago. It had been a favorite spot for our friends to go. Mrs. Campbell had often given us free goodies after we won a football game.
Warmth spread through my chest at the thought. I’d loved playing ball at Fever Falls High—lived and breathed it along with Beau, Wyatt, and our other friends. Playing in college had been an adjustment for me at first, because it had been so different from playing with the guys I’d grown up with. I didn’t know them the way I knew Beau and Wyatt, the way I’d known the whole team. There had been comfort in that, familiarity. But I’d smiled, played it off, because that was what I did. I smiled and partied and worked my ass off on the field, trained in ways I hadn’t known were possible, and eventually the ache in my chest had subsided, buried itself deep where I could forget it had been there and no one had to know.
Frowning, I wondered where that had come from, what made me think of those early days I did well pretending never existed. Being home, losing my career, was fucking with me in ways I didn’t want to comprehend, so I pulled on my sunglasses, got out of my car, and went toward the building.
The white paint on the front looked fresh. They had a new pink-and-gray awning, and a few tables and chairs on the patio. None of that had been there ten years ago.
The bell over the door jingled when I walked inside. It was empty except for Kenny behind the counter. I almost stumbled seeing him. He was a few inches shorter than I was now, but holy shit, Kenny had grown up. Well, obviously, Kenny had grown up, but it was different knowing those things happened than seeing them.
My pulse sped up in a strange way as I took Kenny in—Beau’s brother, the person he’d always cared for more than anyone in the world.
“Good afternoon, welcome to…” Kenny looked up at me, and his eyes widened. “Ashton Carmichael…Ashton Carmichael…Mom! Ashton Carmichael is here!”
My pulse jumped again at the realization that Kenny remembered me. It was a strange thought. Kenny was ten when I left; of course he remembered. Plus, I didn’t mean to brag, but I was Ashton Carmichael. Most people knew who I was, but definitely people in Fever Falls.
“Hey, Kenny. Long time no see.” I stepped up to the counter.
“Hi, Ashton Carmichael.”
I smiled. “You can just call me Ash.” I reached over and held my hand out for him. Kenny shook it.
“Okay, Ash. I think I’m supposed to be really happy to see you…everyone else in town makes a big deal about you, but I think you’re just a person like everyone else, even if you do play football. We should all be happy to see someone else, no matter who they are, because everyone deserves that. It shouldn’t matter what you do for a living. Do you mind if I treat you like everyone else?”
If it wouldn’t have been strange, I would have hugged him. A weight fell off my chest that I hadn’t realized had been there. It likely always was until I knew I could let my guard down. “It would make me the happiest person in town if you treated me like everyone else.”
“Good!” Kenny gave me a huge smile. “Welcome to Campbell’s Confections. I’m happy to see you, and I say that because I’m always happy to see people and not because you’re Ashton Carmichael.”
Joy burst in my chest, a giddy feeling I hadn’t experienced in a long time showering me. “I like that attitude. I’m happy to see you too.” Likely more than he knew. I’d done a lot of research on Down syndrome in high school because of Beau’s brother—not that anyone would know that. Down syndrome had always been my charity of choice over the years. No one knew that either. But I’d always known how important he was to Beau, and that made me curious, especially because Beau was so protective of him.
I knew Kenny was high functioning, but I hadn’t known he had a job. And when he smiled, I felt it in my chest because it was genuine in a way I didn’t often see in the world. It always had been, and I’d forgotten.
I pulled off my sunglasses and asked, “What do you recommend?” just as Beau’s mom came from the back.
“What are you yelling about? Oh, hi, Ash. Look at you! All grown up!” She offered a genuine smile, and I realized it was the same as Kenny’s…the same as Beau’s, on those rare occasions he sent one my way.
“Yes, ma’am,” I replied. “I still prefer acting like a kid, though. It’s a lot more fun.”
Mrs. Campbell laughed, and I could tell it was the real kind, not just something she thought she had to do because she was talking to Ashton Carmichael. “Some things never change, I see. Such a charmer like always.” She came around the counter and gave me a hug. I closed my eyes, savored it because she reminded me of my mom—the one who’d raised me, not the one who’d given me away.
“I try hard,” I told her.
“Oh, don’t you go pretending it doesn’t come natural to you,” she replied, and I thought maybe I’d like to sit in the bakery all day with them. I wasn’t a pro football player in that building. Hell, I wasn’t even a disgraced ex-football-player there. I was just Ash…the guy who’d grown up friends with her son. “Now, did I hear you asking for a recommendation out here? Unless Los Angeles did something to the boy I know, you love my chocolate éclairs.”
My stomach rumbled just at the name. Her chocolate éclairs had always been my favorite, and somehow I’d forgotten that too. “I’ll take two…and a coffee, please. To go.”
Kenny rang up my order as Mrs. Campbell pulled two fluffy éclairs from the case and put them in a bag. She just finished with my coffee after I paid, and I asked, “I’m looking for Beau. I ran into him last night, and he helped me out with something. I’d like to thank him, but I don’t have his phone number…or know where he works or anything.”
“Beau is a hero!” Kenny said, and Mrs. Campbell smiled. I could see that…Beau being a hero.
“Beau’s a firefighter. He’s actually right down the street at the firehouse. He works an early shift today.”
Holy shit. First of all, thinking of Beau as a firefighter made my stomach flip strangely. Second of all…he worked today, yet he’d slept on my uncomfortable beanbag chair all night? Then managed to get my car to my house, which was still a feat I wasn’t sure how he’d pulled off.
“You saw Beau?” Kenny asked. “He used to watch all your games. He wouldn’t even let us talk if your game was on.”
Well…that was an interesting development. My stomach flipped again, but I figured it was just because I was so damn hungry. “Does he still watch all my games?”
“Yep, the same Ash I remember. Don’t you go fishing for compliments,” Mrs. Campbell teased, then turned to Kenny. “Your brother just wanted to support Ash. He was one of Beau’s very best friends.”
This time my stomach dropped, and I felt slightly woozy. Had I been? I wasn’t so sure about that. Yeah, we’d always hung out and had mutual friends, but I’d always known Beau didn’t like me much. Which is also why you gave him so much shit…to make it worse.
I’d always tried to get under Beau’s skin, though I didn’t know the exact reason, other than Beau had needed to lighten up. “He was one of my best friends too.” I cleared my throat. “Thanks. I’ll see if I can find him. I don’t want to interrupt him at work.” But I absolutely was going to walk by the fire station. Where was the harm in that? Free country and all.
“It was good to see you again, Ash,” Beau’s mom said.
“Thanks. You too, Mrs. Campbell.”
I made it halfway to the door when Mrs. Campbell’s voice stopped me. “Beth. You can call me Beth, and I hope I’m not overstepping, but…they would be proud of you, Ash…your mama and daddy…they would be proud of you and all you’ve accomplished, just like I am. You remember that, okay?”
I inhaled a sharp breath, closed my eyes, hoped she was right about my parents. That despite all the ways I’d fucked up, they would be proud. I was honored Beth was proud, even though I wasn’t sure I deserved it. “Thank you, Beth. I appreciate that. And bye, Kenny. It was good to see you too.”
I walked out of Campbell’s Confections with my stomach feeling uneasy. Beth’s words settled into my skin, comforted me, yet at the same time made me feel like I’d screwed up even more. She was proud of me and she thought my parents would be too, but again, the truth was, I’d fucked up. A lot.
Pushing on, I continued up Cypress Lane toward the fire station.
Beau Campbell was a firefighter. Back in school, he’d loved football as much as I had. Hell, probably more, and he’d been damn good…maybe even better than I was. I knew he hadn’t gone anywhere with it, but I also knew Beau well enough to know it had been his dream, that he’d wanted football to be his life but had chosen his family instead.
He was a good man in ways I wasn’t, and hell, now he was…well, he was exactly what Kenny said he was. A hero. Beau saved people’s lives. It was more than I could say about myself.
When I rounded the corner at Cypress and Willow Brook, there was a gleaming fire engine in front of a red-brick building with green around the windows. Huh, the green was new. A blond man was there, kneeling and petting a dog a woman had on a leash. As I got closer, he nuzzled the dog, and when the woman walked away, he stood and began wiping down the truck. He turned my way when I approached, then did a double take that I was all too familiar with.
“Holy shit. You’re Ashton Carmichael.”
I plastered on my best smile. “Guilty as charged.” Great, after what had gone on in my career lately, maybe that wasn’t the best term to use.
He wiped his hands on his jeans, then reached out with his right. “I’m Jace.”
Transferring my coffee and bag into one hand, I shook his. “Hey, Jace. Nice to meet you.” My eyes skirted around him, trying to look into the bay, hoping for a glimpse of Beau. It wasn’t my fault if I happened to be walking down the street he worked on and one of his coworkers stopped me.
“Shit…this is kind of embarrassing, but do you mind if I get your autograph? It’s, um…for my brother.”
I nodded, feeling both a spike of adrenaline and the hairs on my arms stand on edge. It was strange the dichotomy I felt about fame. On the one hand, I fucking loved it. I’d always thrived on attention, and what more could I ask for than what I got as a professional football player? But on the other hand, it made my gut twist, an edge of discomfort that always made me feel like a liar…a fraud. “Yeah, sure. No problem.”
“Great, man. Thanks a lot. I’ll be right back.” Jace disappeared inside, and I took a few steps toward the building, trying to look for Beau. I was bordering on creepy stalker, but at the moment, I couldn’t find it in myself to care. Beau made me feel like I was the Ash I’d been when I grew up there, not the ex-football-player. Plus, I’d always been a little fascinated with Beau Campbell. There was no denying that. There had always been something about him that caught my attention. He was different, kind.
My pulse throbbed against my skin, pounded in my ears. I shook my head, forcing away whatever that feeling was.
Jace came back a moment later. He offered me a pen and a piece of paper, which I signed for him. He rubbed at the blond scruff along his jaw. “Thanks. This is great. My…brother will love it.”
I smiled at him, peeked into the building again. “Glad I could help.”
It was then that a shadow moved around the back of the fire engine. Before he came into view, I knew it was Beau, and sure enough, there was my very own, personal Beau-scowl, his dark hair covered with a backward ball cap.
“Ah, hell,” Beau said, and I grinned.
“Hey, man. What a surprise. It’s great to see you too!”