Chapter 23
Kate
He was so incredibly masculine and sexy, with the strongest facial features I’d ever seen. I knew it was weird to think that when all I could see was emotion after emotion play out over his face.
His tears were visible; and he was vulnerable. And that didn’t make me feel like he was less masculine and sexy than I had before. It actually made him a whole hell of a lot sexier.
He seemed like a towering giant as he stood over me as I remained sitting on the couch.
“Look, we’re not getting anywhere else with this tonight,” I sighed lifting myself up dramatically from the couch before walking over to him and wrapping my hands around his neck. He leaned over on me, and immediately my hands went to his hair, smoothing the tussled bits down.
He nodded and smirked just before leaning in and kissing me.
I was hoping to silence him with a kiss, but he’d beat me to it.
I just wanted to try to redirect his emotions into something a little more positive; hoping that it would make him think a little more clearly, although the entire situation was a total clusterfuck.
To me, it just seemed like it was two grumpy ass old men that had grown to hate each other — just trying to get even with one another. Nothing more. In fact, I was pretty damn sure that’s what it was.
I could see his thoughts all over his face. He was frustrated, his mind swirling around like a spinning top he couldn’t control or shut down. I knew he was fighting with it, struggling to figure out what to feel exactly.
I hated seeing him so upset.
I wanted to swear to myself never to let him down, to never let him feel that way again. But I knew that I couldn’t control it. What I could do was everything in my power to make him feel better when things went wrong.
I smiled and pulled him towards the bedroom, with him leaned against me. I was trekking the walk pretty damn breathlessly. The weight of him against me made me feel almost like I was climbing stairs. But I liked it. I liked that I wasn’t the only one that could do the leaning. I wanted him to lean on me too.
With a groan, we crossed into his bedroom. “Tired of basically carrying me?” he chuckled.
“Yeah, thanks for all the help,” I said in a low, sarcastic voice.
He tilted my chin to look at him with his index finger, and immediately I had to avert my eyes. I knew he’d make me smile, and I wanted to play with him a little longer. I wanted to get his mind off of everything else.
But something pulled me back.
It was like a crazy, wild force made my head turn back towards his daunting glare.
He was smirking at me, which wasn’t a surprise at all.
It was his signature look if I’d ever seen one.
His eyes were dark and unblinking, and I felt my body warm immediately. Yet, I shivered as a tingling chill rolled up my spine. I felt almost nervous for a moment, and it rolled through my body and my hands started to shake.
I managed to make the shaking nervousness disappear as I flexed them out over his chest.
I felt stronger — more poised — all of a sudden. And I think it was because he was.
He could joke even after all this.
He could smirk.
He could smile.
And he could love…
He was strong. He was resilient, and I couldn’t help but smirk back at him as he winked slightly with his right eye. I wasn’t sure how we gotten to this point again, but all of a sudden it felt like I was under a spell. All over again, and I wondered if I would ever be immune to his sexiness. I felt woozy at just the smell of him; and looking at him made me weak in the knees.
When I had walked through the door earlier that night, I felt like I’d basically walked into a den of wolves; completely unshielded as his anger flamed all around him.
But I wasn’t afraid. Not of him.
He had every reason in the world to be upset — to be screaming — and I wasn’t about to be the hypocrite and freak out about it.
I was glad he had shared all of his emotions with me that night. It made me feel closer to him than ever. I had always wanted to feel connected to another human being; truly connected. And Ian and I were becoming more and more connected by the day.
I both loved and hated how absolutely crazy he made me in times like this.
I had a pull towards him and it always unraveled me, leaving me useless to make any real judgment calls. I knew I shouldn’t have been thinking about jumping his bones. But dammit, it was almost all I could think about at that moment.
His voice made my breath hitch and my heartbeat skip a beat or two. He could be cold. I knew that he could. But he wasn’t to me. Not usually, and definitely not now.
His jawline lit up by the same lone lamplight that was always on and his eyes seemed to smolder as I looked at him. I felt my body ignite in a fire.
He looked deep in concentration as he looked me up and down, and I was focused, too. On what I wanted. So much so that I moved, almost robotically, until I crashed into his lips.
He laughed, and before I knew it, I felt my body crash against the floor, with him heavy on top. I whimpered in defeat, submission, and absolute elation. His eyes bore into mine as soon as he pulled away from the kiss.
I felt as if he was branding me with his stare, making me his forever. My grips on his arms grew rougher as I felt myself fall into the moment.
His body felt amazing on top of mine. I wanted him so badly I was fucking shivering. My hands moved around to his back and slipped under his shirt. I made quick work of sliding my hands up until I was pulling his shirt from over his head. He instantly followed my lead and within seconds my shirt was piled on top of his on the floor.
As we kissed, I fumbled with his belt until it was undone and I was unfastening his jeans. We stripped each other like we hadn’t seen each other in months and were trying to get to the prize in record time.
Before I knew it, we were both basically naked on the bedroom floor.
I slid my hands back up his back, over his arms, before finally grabbing hold of his neck and pulling his mouth into mine.
I was more than ready for the kiss. Every bone and nerve ending in my body yearned for his touch and taste.
I was already imagining us tangled up in the covers. It was almost surreal, although I knew it was about to happen, and hell, it already had happened before. I wasn’t sure why my body seemed to crave him — and it — like it had never experienced it before. It was like I felt like he was almost too good to be true; like it wasn’t possible that I’d ever felt as good as I knew it felt to be with him.
My blood boiled deep inside my veins as my heart thudded out of my chest. My breathing sped up and his lips were about to touch mine.
I closed my eyes tightly.
“Ian...” I whispered in his ear, just before his lips captured mine once again.
I wanted to hold him close. I wanted to make him feel better and to never let him go.