Alicia
I got ready for the night with the Diamond Club very carefully. We were heading as a group to an exclusive club downtown reserved for executives, foreign businessmen and dignitaries visiting the city, and celebrities. I had no idea how the Diamond Club got a reservation—and for eight people on a Saturday night—but they had. I needed to be impeccably dressed, and not just for the club. I needed to confront Tammy tonight.
Earlier today, Ryan sent over a surprise delivery: a box containing an extravagant red dress, black, patent leather heels, and a black jeweled choker, bracelet, and earrings. They were tasteful, gorgeous, and sexy. I had gasped when I saw what was in the box. Ryan was so generous, and he clearly knew that I would be stressing out about what to wear. The package had been delivered first thing in the morning, and although I’d worried about it for the few nights before, his gifts meant that I could spend the day settling down rather than getting even more nervous.
The dress fit perfectly, of course, as though it had been made specifically for my body. It was short, above my knees, with a drawn-in waist and an open neckline. It hugged every curve and flattered all of my best features while taking attention away from the areas I wasn’t quite as secure about. The color complemented the highlights in my hair and made me look almost like a redhead.
I called Ryan to thank him, but he didn’t answer. I left him a voicemail. He responded with a text a few hours later, saying I was welcome and that he would pick me up in plenty of time for us to get downtown for our eight o’clock dinner reservation. My fingers hovered over the words in his text. He sounded so unaffected, so…professional.
Because of course, this was business. My buoyant feeling dissipated. The sweetness of his gesture with the dress and jewelry—that was just part of the business, too.
He was right on time, and in spite of crazy Saturday night traffic in the city, we reached the club in time for our reservation.
Ryan got out of the car first and held the door open for me, then extended his elbow for me to slip my hand through. We walked up the carpeted entry arm in arm, and Ryan gave his name to the hostess. The maître d’ showed us to our table, stopping a few feet away to avoid invading the privacy of the group’s conversation.
Ryan looked at me, and I looked back at him.
“Showtime,” I whispered, my lips barely moving.
“We’re in love, remember?” he whispered back.
I nodded. If only he knew….
“Good luck,” he added, kissing me lightly on the lips. A shiver ran through me.
“Good luck,” I said back. “We’ll need it.” I squeezed Ryan’s hand and he squeezed mine.
“Hey, you two gonna join us over here or what?” Justin called out, a drink in his hand.
“Hey, yeah, we’re here, we’re here,” Ryan said, his face relaxing into an easy grin. “You save any booze for us or are we the designated sober cab for you drunks tonight?”
I slid into the booth next to Justin; Tammy was seated on his other side. Ryan quickly slid in next to me. All eight of us were sitting by couple, which was unusual; typically, the women would be sitting together at one end and the men would be sitting together at the other. I wondered if Tammy had arranged the seating differently so she wouldn’t have to talk to me. Then, I wondered how paranoid I could actually get. It was probably because we weren’t at an actual event; we were just out for dinner and dancing. Either way, I was grateful to be so close to Ryan.
The server brought us all a round of drinks. Everyone was drinking their favorite beverage: Lori, Reena, and I were drinking margaritas, Tammy had a glass of wine, and all the guys were drinking scotch or whiskey, either neat or on the rocks.
Ryan lifted his glass of whiskey. “A toast.”
We all held up our glasses.
Justin said enthusiastically, “To adventure!”
“To adventure!” we all echoed.
“Cheers,” Ryan said when he touched my glass, his eyes unexpectedly affectionate.
I was thrilled when both Lori and Reena reached their glasses over the table to clink mine. I was not surprised that Tammy went out of her way to avoid me. I sighed, knowing she just wasn’t going to cut me a break. Fortunately, with her sitting on the other side of Justin, I didn’t have to look directly at her or feel her icy glare.
Justin leaned over to me and said in a voice loud enough for the table to hear, “That’s quite the dress, Alicia. Did you get that while you were shopping at the lodge? It’s fucking sexy on you.”
“It was a gift from Ryan,” I said, putting my hand on Ryan’s thigh and squeezing. I leaned into him, to show everyone at the table that we were affectionate with one another. He leaned in and kissed my forehead.
Looking around at the other women, I was grateful that Ryan had thought to buy me the dress; nothing I owned would have remotely fit in with what the other women were wearing. All three were in brightly colored dresses accessorized with beautiful jewelry.
“That’s cool,” Justin said.
Reena and Lori both nodded and smiled, letting me know that they also thought the dress was perfect. Their approval gave me a warm feeling in my stomach that was enhanced when Ryan put his hand on mine and squeezed it. We were doing it. It was so convincing, I began to believe it myself.
The club was crowded. Ryan had said something about celebrities, and I thought I recognized a couple of people. I wasn’t going to go drooling over them, asking for autographs. It sounded tacky. Still, there were a few others, men and women alike, who seemed to be trailing behind them. I felt sorry for the celebrities; they were here to have a good time, just like I was. Well, like I would have been if this wasn’t another subterfuge for Ryan’s benefit.
I wanted to go out with him, just once, when it could be just the two of us. I wanted to get to know him even better, talk to him about his hopes and desires for the future. Not our future, although I was interested in that, too. But his future, his past. I wanted to know everything about him. This damn club kept getting in the way of all that.
“So,” Justin asked me, nudging me out of my thoughts, “tell me about waiting tables. What do you like about it?”
I was surprised at Justin showing interest in my job; it seemed like most of the members of the club liked to pretend that wasn’t really something I did. I noticed that as I gave Justin a brief history of my job at the restaurant, his eyes kept dropping down to my cleavage.
“That’s really interesting,” Justin slurred. “Fascinating, really. I always wanted to be a server. I thought I’d be a pretty good one. With a body like this, I knew I’d rake in the tips.” He flexed his bicep and made me feel his bulging muscle.
I looked over at Ryan, who rolled his eyes. “Careful, Justin, or I’ll turn the hose on you,” Ryan said easily, but I noticed he hadn’t taken his hand off of mine.
After dinner—I ordered an absolutely delicious steak that was so tender I barely needed a knife to cut it—the guys ordered dessert while Reena, Lori, and Tammy went to the restroom. Seeing my chance to maybe pull Tammy away from the other girls, I tagged along with them. The Diamond Club ladies were all comfortably drunk, and they talked loudly on the way to the restroom, garnering a lot of attention from the men we passed. I stood with Reena while Lori and Tammy used the stalls, then we switched. When Reena and I came out, Lori and Tammy were at the vanity touching up their blush and lip gloss.
“Do you believe Justin is being such a creep tonight?” Tammy pouted into the mirror. “I mean, he’s totally ignoring me. He’s going to be sorry later on, I can tell you that.”
The other girls nodded, so I did too. Reena and Lori were the first to leave the bathroom, and I jumped at my chance. I caught Tammy just as she was about to walk out.
“Tammy, can I talk to you for a second?”
“What is it?” she asked coolly.
“Listen, we didn’t get a chance to talk after you dropped your little bombshell at the lodge. I wanted to ask why you’re spreading the rumor that Ryan is paying me to pose as his girlfriend.” I felt my voice shaking and took a breath to steady it. “It’s not true.”
Tammy looked at me as if she was trying to decide whether to toy with me or put me out of my misery. She sighed and rolled her eyes.
“Okay, I’ll tell you, but only because for some reason Reena and Lori actually seem to think you’re cool. Here’s the deal: you’re not the first girl Ryan has paid to date him—and don’t deny it again. It’s completely obvious that’s what’s happening.”
I felt myself blushing the color of my dress, but I let her continue without interrupting her. It was the only way to get to the truth.
“This girl was a total reject. She didn’t even have a job at all as I recall, though she said it was because we were still in school. It was our senior year of college, just after the Diamond Club got going. I’ve been a part of it since the beginning, you know,” she said pointedly, as if that automatically meant that she knew what she was talking about. “He couldn’t be in the club without a steady girl, so he picked up this one and paid her, then tried to force her to be friends with us. It was ridiculous—she didn’t like us, and we didn’t like her.” She looked directly at me and I recognized her look. She was moving in for the kill. “Kind of like now.”
Ryan had done this before? My mind was reeling, trying to make sense of that. Was that why he was so smooth about everything? Why nothing seemed to faze him? I would confront him about it later, but, right now, Tammy was looking for exactly the type of reaction I was feeling; I couldn’t give her the satisfaction. I channeled my shock into anger.
“Listen, college was a long time ago, and, even if that did happen then, it’s not happening now.” I kept my voice low and steady and looked her straight in the eye. “Ryan is not paying me to date him, to make love to him, to spend time with him, to text him, or to do anything else with him. I am in love with him!” And, as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew it was true. Whether or not Ryan would ever return my feelings, I knew I was in love with him absolutely, one hundred percent.
Tammy snickered. “Of course you are.”
She marched out of the restroom. I grabbed the door so it wouldn’t hit me in the face, and followed her out, a safe distance behind.
When Tammy and I rejoined the group, Ryan shot me a long look. I shook my head, indicating I would tell him later. I was still shocked over Tammy’s accusation that he had done this before. I didn’t know what to believe.
Reena stood up and announced that the music coming from the main bar dance floor was calling to her.
“I’m not going alone, so everybody get up and let’s dance!”
We walked in a semi-line to the bar and stood surveying the space. The room was awash with neon and strobe lights, and the huge dance floor was packed with people dancing, drinking, and making out. The laugher was almost as loud as the techno music blasting from the speakers. Bartenders were moving fast, trying to keep up with the crowd. Two servers stood at the door, handing out glow sticks and small containers of glowing face paint. Reena grabbed one and came at me with it, marking my cheeks and my forehead.
“Reena!” I yelled, laughing. “You marked me.”
“Do me!” she yelled back, handing over the paint. I drew some marks on her face and she laughed, then wrapped a glow stick around her wrist and dropped one through the bun in her hair before scurrying off to the dance floor.
It wasn’t hard to get caught up in the energy of the place; everyone was there to have a good time, and it made it easy to forget all of the drama of the past few weeks. I followed Reena out onto the dance floor and started to move my body. I closed my eyes and let the beat roll through me. I moved my arms and legs, swaying my hips to the pounding of the bass. I lost myself completely in the music, letting it carry me away from all things Diamond Club. It felt amazing to move my body freely, and for the first time in ages, I felt like I didn’t have a care in the world. I felt someone grinding against me from behind, and I turned to see Reena. She was laughing and I could see some of the face paint was already sweating off of her skin.
She threw her arms around me. “I’m so glad you hang out with us!” she shouted over the music. “I don’t care if Ryan pays you—good for you if he does—he can spend his money however he wants to! I think you’re awesome!”
She was yelling right into my ear and I pulled back, smiling at her. “I dig you too, Reena. And that rumor is not true. Ryan doesn’t pay me. We’re in love.”
Did I feel badly about lying to Reena? Yes. Then again, it wasn’t totally a lie. I really was in love with him and that was the most important part of the statement.
“You’re in love?” Her face broke out into a huge smile. “Oh my God, that’s so awesome!” She hugged me again, and then began to dance against me.
We danced together, moving to the beat, and after a few minutes, I felt someone press behind me again and assumed it must be Ryan. He began to move with me, his hips against mine, and I settled in against him.
Reena grinned. “Look at you two!” she said, and put her finger up to her lips. “Shhhh,” she hissed and then danced off, getting swallowed up by the crowd.
I kept dancing, feeling hot and soft, like my body was made of rubber. I turned to face Ryan, and was more than a little surprised when it was Justin’s face I saw, not my boyfriend’s. I didn’t really care that much, though; Justin was Ryan’s best friend, and he was Tammy’s boyfriend. I began to dance with him, hoping that if he began to like me and think I was cool, maybe he would share that with Tammy.
“You’re so fucking hot,” he shouted at me, trying to be heard over the music.
I giggled and turned away, but he grabbed me and pulled me back toward him. His hand landed on my breast and he squeezed it, pressing himself into my ass. I tried to pull away, but the song ended. He grabbed my hand and pulled me off the dance floor.
“I don’t think this is a good idea,” I said, talking far louder than I needed to in the quieter transition beat before the next song kicked in.
He didn’t answer, but pulled me into a U-shaped booth near the door where the glow stick ladies stood. He pushed me into the booth and then got in next to me.
“What are you doing, Justin? Where’s Tammy? She’ll kill you.”
More to the point, she’ll kill me, I thought.
“You have no idea, do you, how fucking hot you are? How gorgeous. Tammy is such a bitch; every girl I date ends up being a huge bitch.”
He put his arm around me and grabbed my leg with his other hand. I tried to pull away, but his grip on my shoulders was too firm for me to move backward, and the table was in my way.
When he spoke, his breath was hot against my cheek. “You’re so different from anyone I’ve ever met. I don’t know what you see in Ryan, but I think you’re with the wrong guy. I would treat you so nice. I would love you and buy you great stuff, take you places. And Alicia, the fucking…you have no idea how good I am in bed. I would fuck you beyond your wildest imagination.”
“That’s enough,” I said, sobering up immediately. “Ryan is my boyfriend. I’m sorry you’re not happy with Tammy, but I’m not available.” I squirmed to get away from him, but he held me tight.
“Oh come on, baby, how much is he paying you? I’ll double it. Triple it even.”
“He’s not—oh, forget it. I’m going back to the dance floor.” I moved to get away. He was drunk and nothing good could come from this—for either of us.
“You’ll go when I say you can go. Why are you being so difficult? I just want to tell you that I like you, that you’re different and beautiful and special, and you’re being so rude.”
“Sorry, Justin,” I said, changing my tactic. I was starting to get claustrophobic in the booth, feeling like I needed air, and soon. “I really just am not interested in anyone but Ryan.”
He got a weird look on his face, a combination of rejection and anger, and then he grabbed my wrist and pulled me from the booth.
“You’re just saying that because you don’t know what you’re missing!” He dragged me through the doors of the bar to a restroom that was just on the other side. We started to move past the glow stick girls.
“Hey!” I shouted.
“She’s sick,” he said to the glow stick girls. He kicked the bathroom door open with his foot and dragged me in, then he locked the door behind him. I tried to scream, but Justin began to kiss me and stifled my screams. He grabbed my hand and pressed it to his crotch; his cock was hard.
“You like that?” he asked. “You want it?” He tried to force my hand beneath the waistband of his jeans.
This was not harmless. This was an attack. I didn’t see any way that he was going to let me out of this bathroom. I kept trying to focus on fighting him off, but my brain was fuzzy from too many margaritas, and it felt like his hands and his mouth were everywhere. I didn’t know someone could have so many hands…
I heard a banging sound, a loud noise, glass shattering, and then yelling. I opened my eyes and Ryan was there. He had pulled Justin off of me and was now holding him up against the stall wall by his shirt collar. The mirror behind Justin was broken, shards of it scattered like fallen stars.
“What the fuck are you doing, man?” Ryan yelled. “What the fuck is wrong with you!”
“You don’t deserve this gorgeous piece of ass and you know it,” Justin spat. “She’s only with you because you’re paying her. Everyone in the group knows it. Just like in college.”
Ryan didn’t respond; I could tell by the look in his eyes and the way he was breathing that he wanted nothing more than to punch Justin. Instead, he grabbed me by my upper arm and led me out of the bathroom. A crowd had gathered around the restroom door, and the Diamond Club was front and center. Everyone was staring, and the bouncers were there to keep order.
Ryan ignored all of them and led me toward the door. I hesitated; my bag was…somewhere. “Forget your purse,” he said. “We’ll get it later.”
“You fucking slut!” Tammy screamed after us. “Get the fuck out of here! You don’t belong here! Go back to waiting tables!”