Alicia
My alarm went off at nine o’clock. The night before, I had been anxious about today, so when I opened my eyes, the nerves hit me full force. I had to resist the urge to put the pillow over my head and go back to sleep. But pretending I had overslept was not an option. And I needed to hurry. I was supposed to meet the other women in the lodge’s café at ten o’clock for our super fun day of shopping.
I rolled out of bed and took a quick shower. After applying my signature lotion, I threw on the thick terrycloth robe provided by the lodge and tried to figure out what to wear. I immediately eliminated my favorite shorts and T-shirt from the running; there was no way such casual attire would be fancy enough in their eyes—even though some of the wealthiest people on earth dressed in T-shirts and jeans. But it wasn’t just about the money; these girls were snobs. So that also eliminated the outfit I’d worn yesterday.
As I picked through my clothes, I thought about my interaction with Tammy from the night before. She really hates me, I thought. I’d tried to smooth things over, but I also knew that if she really did hate me just because I wasn’t rich, there was very little I could do to win her over other than come into a lot of cash.
Which you can do, thanks to Ryan, I reminded myself. He’d already paid me a thousand dollars. Maybe I’d just consider chalking up spending some money on clothes as a business expense. I liked Ryan, but even more than that, the less time I spent waiting tables, the more time I’d have to blog and maybe even draft a new book for my agent…if she hadn’t already ditched me. I could at least build up my nonfiction portfolio and try to get some freelancing work. And maybe all that would lead to a steady writing job or a book deal. When I looked at the situation in long-term context, having to deal with Tammy seemed like a minor bump in the road.
Speaking of, I wanted to get out some of my thoughts. I opened up my laptop and started typing. Shopping with She-Devils, I titled the entry.
So Rich Bitch and her minions are waiting for me downstairs. I’m on another Diamond Club excursion, where the guys get to go have all the fun, and the women get to…shop. Rich Bitch made it abundantly clear last night that she hates me and she thinks something odd is going on between me and Damien. Her blatant Rich Bitchery was in full force. “Whatever, it’s only money,” she said, as if she was daring me to argue the point.
It IS only money. But who wants to waste it, either way? I refuse to judge her for spending it how she wants to, but if I had that money, I’d be using it to do some kind of good in the world.
The way she stared at me, as if I were the most despicable creature on the planet…it makes me wonder why I’m even here. Getting paid to play girlfriend for a weekend has its definite benefits, but I’m wondering if the cost will be too much. I guess I’m about to find out, and if I survive it, I’ll share the details here.
Reluctantly, I closed my laptop. It was already nine thirty-five, and I still hadn’t chosen an outfit. I had never in my life spent more than five minutes picking out what to wear—for any occasion. This was ridiculous. Tammy and the other girls were going to have something to say about whatever I wore. I might as well resign myself to the ridicule and pick something I liked.
I grabbed a pair of body-hugging, denim shorts that barely covered my ass and a lacey peach tank top my mom had given me. I’d never worn it before because frilly was so not my style, but it seemed to fit this occasion. I completed my “look” with a pair of black flip-flops. Finally dressed, I blow-dried my hair and let it curl naturally. Usually I put it up to keep it off my face, but today I was looking for anything that might distract from my clothes. I did my make-up carefully, balancing darker eye shadow with a pale lipstick.
I looked at myself in the full length mirror and sighed. God, what a Plain Jane, I thought. There was not a chance in the world of impressing the girls with this. I thought back to the night before and how much everyone, Reena in particular, had enjoyed playing strip poker. They had all seemed really friendly toward me. My way into the group would have to be my personality rather than my wallet.
Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Alicia, the rational side of my brain warned.
“Whatever,” I said to my reflection in the mirror. “I’m trying my best here. Give me a break.”
I turned off the bathroom light, picked up my cell phone, and grabbed my purse. There was an envelope sticking out of the side pocket with my name on it. Inside was a Black AmEx card and a note.
Please use this card to buy whatever you like today. My treat. Have fun. –Ryan
I studied the card, feeling both annoyed we needed the subterfuge because of his lunatic friends, and relieved by Ryan’s thoughtfulness. I would normally never consider using someone else’s credit card. But I needed to get over my pride; there wasn’t a lot of difference, I reasoned, between him giving me his card and him paying me cash. I would just consider anything I bought today as part of this weekend’s payment. Plus, my shopping day just got a whole lot easier—as long as I could hide the fact that I was using his card from the other girls.
It was just shy of ten o’clock and the last thing I wanted was to be the last one in the café. I ran a fingertip along Ryan’s signature on the card; he had elegant penmanship and I felt a tingling move through my body as I thought about him. I forced myself to stop daydreaming and left for breakfast.
* * * * *
I walked in and stopped short when I saw Reena, Lori, and Tammy standing together looking less like they were going shopping and more like they were preparing for a runway show. Tammy had straightened her copper hair, which made her blonde highlights stand out even more. She wore a white maxi dress with side slits that went all the way to the middle of her thighs. She wore gold bracelets from her wrists to just below her elbows and another band around her right bicep. With her gold flip-flops, she looked like she’d just arrived for a casting call for Aphrodite.
The other two looked no less fabulous. Reena wore a short, floral dress and red boots that on her looked like high fashion; if I had worn them, I’d look like I was wearing clown shoes. She had put her hair in a side braid and had woven flowers (really?) into the braid. Lori’s gorgeous strawberry blonde hair was twisted into a perfect bun and she wore a lilac-colored, velvet dress that, like Reena’s boots, worked only for her. She had sunglasses propped on her head and I was pretty sure the bling on them were real diamonds.
I immediately felt like a seven-year-old with dirt on my mouth and skinned knees. I wanted to disappear, but I was rooted to where I stood. Before I could make a decision to bolt, Tammy saw me. Her eyes widened and I saw the glee on her face before she spoke.
“Alicia, we were getting worried. I was about to send Reena after you.” She looked me up and down with pointed distaste. “You must have been spending a lot of time contemplating your wardrobe. That’s a…nice shirt,” she added, making it clear she didn’t think so in the least.
I forced myself to meet her patronizing gaze. “Thank you. I thought we were meeting at ten,” I said to Reena and Lori. “I’m sorry, am I late?”
“No, we’re early because we were just so excited,” Reena giggled. “I was up almost before the sun. Let’s hit the stores, shall we, ladies?”
The shopping district was within walking distance of the lodge so we agreed to walk, a decision I found mildly surprising. Considering how much these women liked to spend money, I would have thought they would hire a private car. But the first of the stores was literally a five-minute walk. We stopped in front of a coffee shop across the street from the main shopping area.
“Lattes, ladies?” Lori asked. “It’s my treat.”
I couldn’t even pronounce what they ordered. I didn’t like iced coffee. I didn’t understand the point of it. I preferred mine plain, black, and hot. But it was already quite warm outside and I realized turning down a cold designer coffee drink would separate me from the rest of the group. Damn it, I told myself. It doesn’t matter if you like iced coffee or hate it; you’re trying to fit in here. Drink the damn iced coffee.
When in Rome…
With glorified iced coffees in hand, we set out for the shops of the outdoor mall.
“Oh my gosh, you guys—can you believe how absolutely amazing it is out here today?” Reena held her face up to the morning sun and sighed in bliss. Lori agreed and smiled, her pearl white teeth flashing against her tan skin.
“Fucking A,” Tammy complained. “It’d be a great day if the sun wasn’t trying to blind me.”
“Where are your sunglasses?” Lori asked.
I watched the conversation with interest; Lori touched her own sunglasses when she asked. If I didn’t know better, I would say that Lori was using the moment as an opportunity to brag to Tammy about her diamond-studded shades. Were these women really that shallow?
“They didn’t go with my outfit,” Tammy said. “But I’d have made the sacrifice if I’d known it was going to be so fucking bright out here.” She held up her hand to half-heartedly shield her eyes against the sun, an effort that was worthless given that she was holding her drink in that hand.
We walked by a shop that had an adorable wraparound skirt in the window.
“Hey,” I said, “let’s go in here in minute, okay?” I began to walk into the store, but stopped when I noticed the other three weren’t following me.
“What is this place, Ragstock?” Tammy said with disdain. “I want to get sunglasses. Let’s go in there.” She nodded at a boutique down the sidewalk and the other girls followed without question, leaving me standing in the entry of the store I’d wanted to shop in.
I slowly blew out a lungful of air. Messed up again, I thought and hurried to catch up to Tammy and her minions. Lori and Tammy were already in the store, but Reena had held back, waiting for me. I smiled and followed her inside.
The boutique had so many cute things: hats, sunglasses, dresses, jewelry, picture frames, candles, and fun gifts. I picked up a hat and looked at the price: $450. I instinctively gasped before casually setting it back down.
It was clear no one else was shocked by the prices. Ryan had given me his credit card and expected me to use it. If I wanted to fit in, this was my chance. While the idea of spending that amount of money on a hat was obscene, clearly I was in the minority here. The other girls were giggling and trying on sunglasses, bracelets, hats, and scarves without even bothering to check the price tags.
Lori walked to a sunglasses display and called Tammy over to look at a pair. I stood next to Reena. “What do you think of this hat?” I asked, trying on the $450 number.
“Oh my God, that’s so cute,” Reena squealed. “You have to get it. It’s totally you.” She reached over and grabbed a scarf. “Here, you should get this to go along with it.”
“You think?” I asked, looking at the beautiful red scarf in her hands. “I thought I should maybe get this scarf.” I jokingly picked up a black lace scarf that was covered with embroidered peacocks; it was gaudy as hell.
Reena burst out laughing. “Maybe you should just add a few peacock feathers to your hat?” She pointed out three large peacock feathers that were perched in a vase near the hat display.
I rolled my eyes and laughed. Sadly, with a price of $99, the peacock scarf was the only thing I would have been able to afford on my own.
Reena turned to try on a black, beret-style hat that was absolutely adorable on her. It was seriously cute. Definitely cuter than the flowers she was hiding under it.
“You really have to get that,” I said. “It’s beautiful on you.”
“Really?” She looked at me, as if waiting for me to say something catty.
“Yes, really,” I said, touching her forearm gently.
She looked at herself in the mirror and I caught her blushing. “You think?”
“I do. It’s a great shape for your face and maybe you think that black is boring, but it makes your skin look absolutely flawless.”
“Thank you,” she said slowly, her expression one of gratitude. “That was really a nice thing to say.”
“Well, it also happens to be true.”
She glanced around and spotted Lori and Tammy across the store. “You’re really nice,” she said quietly, “a lot nicer than you get credit for being, and probably nicer than you should be. I’m just not used to hearing compliments when I’m hanging with the Diamond Club crowd, you know? Everything is always really competitive, even with the girls.”
“Yeah, I noticed that,” I smiled. “Maybe I can afford to be nicer because I know there’s no way I could ever compete. Nor do I really want to.”
“I wouldn’t say you can’t complete,” Reena said. “And considering you’re here, it’s kind of weird you don’t want to but,” she shrugged, “it’s cool with me if you don’t.”
Reena turned and took the hat off. I shook my head when she put it back on the rack and picked up a white sunhat; it was the opposite of what I’d said she looked beautiful in. Of course, she also looked glamourous in the sunhat so it was a fast reminder that this was a one step forward, two steps back situation.
While Reena asked a clerk to box up the sunhat for her, I turned my attention to the sunglasses. An orange pair had caught my eye; as an accessory to my outfit, I thought they would look pretty cool. They were simple, but when I put them on and looked in the mirror, I could see my eyes brightly through the orange lenses. I loved them. And, for a mere four hundred dollars, they were practically a bargain.
I told the woman at the register that I would wear them out, so she wrapped the case and receipt together and put them in a bag for me.
“Did you just get those here?” Lori asked, as she and Tammy came over to Reena and me.
“Yep,” I said.
“I didn’t see them. They really accessorize your outfit,” Lori said.
“That was the plan,” I admitted good-naturedly, wondering if she was being sarcastic. Lori had barely said two words to me and I thought she might be ignoring me.
“Well, they look really good on you,” she smiled.
“Thank you,” I said, and for a moment felt as if maybe it was possible to be accepted, at least by Reena and Lori. “So, where are we off to next?”
* * * * *
We went into a store that offered custom-made jeans based on the customer’s individual measurement. Tammy bought five pairs. She dropped her plastic down and smiled when the saleswoman complimented her figure. I couldn’t believe the amount of money even one pair of the custom jeans cost, and I couldn’t imagine what on earth Tammy could need five of the exact same pairs of jeans for. But this was her idea of shopping. She bought something at every store we went into, never trying anything on or even looking at the price. It was like someone had given her a shopping spree for the afternoon and told her there was no spending limit at all. Even if money was no option, I’d have a hard time spending that amount of money on clothes. I simply didn’t have the hoarder mentality.
We went into another boutique that specialized in lingerie. I had barely looked at the price of one bra when I turned around and saw Lori with half a dozen matching bras and panties in her hand.
“I love La Perla!” she exclaimed. “And, even better, so does Roger.” She grinned at the three of us and held up her finds. When she checked out, her bill was more than five thousand dollars.
For underwear.
But regardless of their spending, I felt that at least for the time being, I was playing the part of the rich girl fairly well. I bought a La Perla bra and panty set, sliding Ryan’s card stealthily to the saleswoman so the other girls wouldn’t see his name on it. It helped me to spend the money if I knew I was buying things Ryan would also enjoy.
“You’re only buying one set?” Lori asked. “Seriously? How can you limit yourself to just one?”
I just smiled and shrugged. What was I going to say—that I thought buying six of something was ridiculous? Anything I said would be directly insulting to all three of them. “I’ve just never been one to spend money on things I don’t really need.”
I immediately wanted to take the words back.
Lori’s eyes widened and her brows shot up. “Well,” she said defensively, “we’re shopping. That’s what you do when you shop—you spend money.”
“I know that,” I said, refusing to let them see how much I wanted to melt into the floor. “I like shopping, too, and this is awesome. I’m happy with what I bought.”
“You’ve barely bought anything,” Tammy said. “And, honestly, out of all of us, you’re the one who actually needs stuff. I mean, have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Believe me, you’re gonna need more than aviators and a cute bra before you can even say you shopped minimally, never mind excessively. I mean, God.”
She turned and walked out of the store with Lori and Reena in tow. I looked at the saleswoman, who had heard the entire conversation.
“Can I show you something else, dear?” she asked. I shook my head no, flushing red hot.
I walked outside, expecting to see the girls waiting for me, but they were nowhere to be found. I looked up and down the street, confused; they couldn’t have gotten far. Lori and Tammy were so weighed down with bags, I thought they’d have trouble outrunning a turtle. Yet, they were gone.
I started to panic as I looked into the stores on either side of the lingerie boutique and they weren’t there. I scanned the storefronts and spotted a bistro. My stomach growled and I looked at my watch; it was nearly one o’clock. I’d been so busy trying to measure up, I hadn’t even thought about food. I decided to catch up with the girls later; I needed something to eat.
I walked into the bistro and saw Tammy, Lori, and Reena sitting at a table right by the door. I began to walk toward them, but their body language stopped me. Lori and Reena were leaning toward Tammy, who was talking rapidly in low tones. She looked up and saw me, then whispered something more to the girls.
My stomach sank; it couldn’t have been more obvious that she was talking about me. Still, she slapped on her saccharine smile and waved me over.
“Alicia, we thought we’d lost you,” Tammy said. “We ordered food already, so if you want something, you should probably go find the server.”
Something was wrong. Lori and Reena were looking at their water glasses, and Tammy looked like she’d just swallowed a brick of gold. I numbly walked to the quick-order line and got a sandwich and a small bag of chips. I sat down at the table and no one was talking; it was so weird. I searched for something to say but came up empty.
When the other girls’ orders came—salad wedges, of course—it occurred to me I had messed up again by ordering carbs. I asked Reena if her salad was good.
“Yes,” she said, not looking at me. She didn’t ask how my food was, or say anything else.
I felt tears prickling behind my eyes. What on earth had I done now?