Chapter 18
Kate
It didn’t even feel like a walk of shame that morning as I went back to my dad’s apartment. I took the stairs. I needed to give myself a little more time to muster up the courage to go into my family home, reeking of sex and betrayal.
I couldn't even pretend like I was upset about “betraying” my father, though. I couldn’t pretend like I wasn’t glowing as I took each and every step down, like I didn’t have a stupid, silly grin plastered on my face.
I couldn’t pretend like I gave a damn about any professional issues. In that moment, it felt like nothing in the world could possibly bring me down. I just hoped that I wouldn’t be proven wrong.
When I reached my floor, I took a deep breath and barreled through the door to my hall, and before I knew it, I was standing face-to-wood with my door. I reached out, hesitating for moment. My hands were a little shaky.
No matter how happy I was, I was nervous.
I wasn’t nervous because I’d done anything wrong—I hadn’t done anything wrong. Being with Ian had been the most right thing in the world. But I was nervous that my perfect mood would somehow feel heavy and burdened as soon as I walked through the door I’d called home for so many years.
With a deep breath, I slowly turned the knob. I dreaded having any sort of talk with my dad, and I knew that right now he’d likely be home. I also knew that I’d have a hard time keeping my blush away from my cheeks if I talked to him.
He’d read me; I knew he would. He was good at reading people. He was even better at reading me, specifically, especially when something was on my mind.
I knew I’d have to have the conversation as soon as I saw him. There was no denying my feelings for Ian.
The door creaked open and I took a step forward, cringing at the sound of the hinges. As soon as the entire living room came into view, I noticed the lights that were always on in the hallway were off. I felt my face twist in confusion and I threw the door closed behind me, just hard enough that it shut without slamming.
I glanced around, craning my neck, remaining still — my feet planted in the perfect safety zone.
There were no sounds. It was quiet. Too quiet for anyone to be home.
“Hello?” I called, almost afraid that I might have been wrong, and therefore alerting everyone to my presence. But no one answered back.
“Claire?” I called again, my feet leaving the safety zone in front of the door.
I traipsed through the living room, toward the hall where the lights were off. I peeked around the corner. “Claire?” I called again, knowing that if she were there, she already would have said something by now.
“Dad must have taken her out for breakfast or something,” I muttered, almost in relief, before turning on my heel and heading back to my bedroom across the hall. I needed a shower.
“Kate?” a deep, gruff voice called from behind me as soon as I reached the threshold of my room. I stiffened and stood still, frozen in fear. I didn’t have to turn around to know who was behind me.
Dad.
“I thought you were out,” I whispered, almost breathless.
“Claire went out to grab some bagels. I was working in my study.”
I closed my eyes, tightly, and took a deep breath, trying to regain my composure.
“Where have you been?” he asked, a little more harshly than I’d anticipated.
It was now or never, I supposed. I turned to face him. He looked a little curious, but mostly suspicious.
“I was out,” I said, “and I think it’s best that I tell you where.”
His brows contorted and his lips tightened. I could tell he was already preparing himself to be pissed off. I never started a good conversation out this way. I was more of the ‘get right to it’ type when good news was concerned.
“I don’t have a lot of time to waste, so out with it,” he grumbled.
“I’m seeing someone,” I said, simply.
Immediately his expression changed to confusion. Not only confusion, but complete uncaring confusion.
“Kate, I really don’t care about who you’re dating,” he said, “or who you’re sleeping with for that matter, considering you’re coming in like this in the morning.”
“It’s not like that,” I said. Even though it was — it really was like that. This was mortifying.
“Why are you acting so strange about it, then?” Dad asked. “Does he have some sort of crazy defect?”
“No,” I said with a sigh. I didn’t really know how to say it. “It’s just that it’s someone I’m not sure you’ll approve of.”
I felt my throat tighten. I wasn’t even sure why I was doing this so quickly.
“What, are you dating a bearded lady or something?” He laughed, amused with himself, but when I looked at him, eyes serious, not laughing, he stopped. His eyes narrowed. “Who?”
“Ian Cross.”
He laughed again. “Ian Cross, like MTS’s Ian Cross?”
I nodded, not sure of what else to do.
“Uh yeah, that’s a hard no,” he said sternly before turning on his heel and walking away.
I was confused. Did he just tell me no? No to what? And I hadn’t expected him to take the news well, but this was…strange.
“No, what?” I called after him.
He put his hand up in the air and continued walking, without making any sort of motion to stop. “Just no,” he said again, without even so much as turning his head over his shoulder.
I wasn’t going to accept that as an answer. He was a complete idiot if he thought this was the end of it. I mean, seriously, what kind of nerve did a man need to be so ridiculous as to think that he could say no without giving any explanation, discussing anything — or hell, what made him even think he could say no to anything and have me listen?
“Dad, there’s nothing you can do about it!” I yelled as I ran after him.
He spun his body around to face me. His anger was right there on the surface—shades of red, his eyes slit into sharpened points. Even the vein in his forehead was beginning to throb. He was quaking.
I didn’t care, though, because I was pissed, too.
“You never hear me out. It’s not like I went searching for this man,” I said. “We just sort of bumped into each other, started dating, and I just now found out who he was to you.”
“That man isn’t shit to me!” Dad bellowed, red spreading out across his forehead and neck, and I knew that if I kept baiting him, he’d eventually bust a blood vessel—or worse, have a heart attack.
I quieted down to let him get himself together. He could take a deep breath, compose himself. I knew him, and I knew it was only a matter of time before he’d catch on to how much of a jackass he was being.
Usually, he didn’t care — but I hoped that maybe in this case he might. He took a deep, dragon-filled breath, and nodded.
“It’s your life,” he said, in a tone that was so quiet that I almost didn’t hear it. “You can do what you want.”
I stood there, my mouth open, waiting for him to say something else. Instead, he just turned around again toward his office, and went in. He didn’t say another word. He didn’t even look at me.
It was his way of telling me to go ahead and do whatever I wanted. He knew I was going to anyway, and I knew that by now, there was a high possibility that he was sick and tired of fighting with me about my future. I was going to do what I was going to do. Neither he, nor anyone else, could stop me. And maybe he was finally coming to terms with that.
It was about damn time.
The door clicked closed, and I stood, staring after it, barely blinking.
I couldn’t help but wonder — a bit amazedly — how and why he didn’t get angrier. But rather than sit around and contemplate it, I needed to go to sleep. My night with Ian had left me exhausted.