Chapter 8
Ian
I started loosening my tie before I even reached the lobby’s front door. My feet dragged behind me. I was almost completely spent. I would never have guessed that my feet and legs would be so fucking tired when all I did was sit on my ass most of the day. I could do hours of squat reps, leg presses, and run a fucking half marathon all in one day, and my feet still wouldn’t have dragged with as much exhaustion as they did now.
The night air was cold. So cold that my nipples rubbed against my cotton shirt fiercely. The friction was a painful tickle, and I couldn’t help but let my mind wander to thoughts of other nipples. Nipples belonging to hot redheads named Kate, for example.
While the thought was arousing, I could barely manage to hold on to it. I was tired. I was beyond ready to just lie down with a crystal glass in one hand and whiskey bottle in the other.
I fell into the revolving door of the lobby, sighing with relief that I was actually home. I was even more relieved when I felt the warmth of the building hug me and warm me from the outside in.
As soon as I stepped out of the revolving doors, I scanned the large, elaborate lobby. People were still hanging out there. Nameless faces that I didn’t really care about, or bother to care about, but they smiled. I barely managed to smile back, but I was getting used to faking smiles. Without even much effort, my lips curved into a professional bullshit type of smile. I nodded to each of them as I passed, not really bothering to register what any of their faces looked like.
With my brain as fried as it was, I wouldn’t have remembered them anyway.
It was like my mind couldn’t quite focus or even so much as begin to make sense of anything as I headed toward the elevator. All of my caffeine from the day had worn off, and I was officially a zombie roaming the earth. The only thing that even made me remember to check my mail was the fact that I saw the large metallic sign on the way to the elevator. I wondered when the last time I actually checked the mail really was.
I grumbled and veered off toward my mailbox. Luckily it was just down from the elevator. I really didn’t want to waste too much time. I needed a drink, and I needed it now.
I unlocked my box and grabbed out a handful of envelopes as well as two rolled up magazines. I wasn’t even sure where the magazine subscription came from in the first place. Who the hell still read magazines?
A glimpse of flaming red near the elevator— a flaming red that I only remembered seeing a few times before— was the only thing that could have possibly pulled me from robotically sifting through envelopes. My head snapped up like a slingshot toward it.
Kate?
Without taking even a second to think about it, my body moved instinctively towards the elevator. In a mad dash, I ran. “Kate?” I yelled, hoping to see a hand stop the elevator doors from closing. “Kate?”
It was too late. The elevator closed before I could reach it, and before my vision could fully focus enough to actually see the woman’s face. I huffed, exhausted and winded, as I leaned against the wall, my tired eyes still straining to look at the elevator door. I watched as the numbers on the floor display increased. I had hoped it would have stopped and returned to the lobby.
Fuck. Still leaning against the wall, I rubbed my forehead as I sighed. I felt my chest heave and my temperature begin to rise.
It couldn’t have been her, could it? She didn’t know where I lived, and she sure as hell wouldn’t be visiting me. She’d been constantly on my mind, and I knew my head was playing games with me.
I had to rethink what I’d just seen. Her height. Her walk. Her hair. Everything seemed to be her. At least I wanted it to be her. I needed it to be her. I was desperate for an escape and Kate had provided me something to look forward to the past few days.
It was amazing how much I had even been thinking about Kate in the first place. I didn’t really know what I was doing — or what had come over me. But whatever it was, it was probably a safe bet that she wasn’t thinking about me nearly as much as I was thinking about her.
It was almost like I was becoming too obsessed. I had been thinking about her a lot, but to see her in other redheads in the city? What was my issue?
A lookalike would have been kind of nice, though. I always welcomed eye candy. If she was anywhere near as sexy as Kate, it might alleviate a fewof my thoughts and help me get my mind off of the real Kate. And hell, part of me couldn’t help but think about how it could have given me some better access. I mean, instead of constantly having to wait around until I was at Starbucks, where I had limited time in the first place — I could see someone almost as damn beautiful in my very own building.
I smiled. It’d be nice to get a more frequent view of that gorgeous long, red hair…those eyes…that gorgeously sexy body…
That body.
Fuck.
I imagined her standing in front of me, smiling, with her hair falling effortlessly — as it seemed to do every time I saw her — just over her shoulders. I imagined how great that fair skin looked beneath her clothes.
I imagined my eyes wandering over her — starting at hers, and then down to her lusciously plump lips, to her long neck and then down, down over the entire length of her body. Her perfect chest. Her tiny waist — and then down her long, stunning legs.
I leaned against the cream-colored wall, almost breathless as I thought about her.
Sometimes I hated the winter. It meant no short skirts. No low-cut tops. It meant no skin. It meant layers and layers of clothes.
But it also left more to the imagination. I imagined the way she looked beneath all of those clothes. I imagined her being there with me in my building, in my apartment. I imagined what I might do with her there. All I knew was that I wouldn’t act the way I had the first time I met her. I would pay close attention to everything. I would take the chance I was given and grab her while she was in front of me.
I imagined the sounds that might come from her as I grabbed her and pulled her to me. I could only hope that she would like it as I held her tightly and caressed her soft skin. I hoped she would melt into the touch.
It was with that hope that I realized I was falling into more than just imaginative thoughts about a woman I hardly knew. Instead, my brain had somehow warped me into hyper speed toward a full-blown daydream, which was something I never did.
I imagined us in the shower, which I desperately needed at the moment. I reeked of sweat, and I could smell coffee practically seeping out of my pores. I couldn’t help but wonder if that was why my mind so quickly jumped to the specific shower scene.
Not that it mattered, though — all that really mattered was that my mind was there. It was reeling like a film and quickly spinning out of control.
Not caring that I still stood in the hall, where everyone could see me, I imagined the way she might look, standing just beneath the streaming water in my large open shower. I imagined how the heat of her body might have felt as I wrapped my arms around her.
I would smile into her neck, and make sure to hold her close to me as the water continued to bang down against our blushed skin. My lips would brush over her heated, water-streamed face, and I would revel in how amazing she felt beneath my kiss.
I loved her skin. At least, I loved the way it always looked—smooth and delicate. Like it was begging to be touched, to be smelled, to be tasted.
If I could do any of those things, I would love it. I would love it all.
Hell, I already did love it all, and all I had was my imagination and the pictures I was making in my mind.
The thing I loved the most about her, though, was her hair. That signature red. I had paid so much attention to it the few times I saw her, that I could trust that I was doing it justice in my imagination. It was a sort of red that I had never seen before. It was deep and bold — just like Kate seemed to be. And it fell beautifully around her face. It was wild and almost messy as it curved around her soft features and then fell behind her shoulders. It gave her an almost effortless look. Whether or not her hair was effortless, I had no clue. I didn’t know Kate very well at all, no matter how much I might wish I did.
I just knew that her look, and the way she carried herself with such cool confidence, made her unique to all the other fashion-forward, cookie-cutter drones that I saw roaming about the city.
Although I was surrounded by nothing but my apartment building's lobby hallway, and a couple of stainless steel elevator doors, in my mind, I sucked at the hollow of Kate’s neck. Sensuous, open-mouthed kisses. My lips, tongue, and teeth grazed her delicate skin. I was devouring everything that I could, with everything that I had in my thoughts, and I could almost feel it for real. It was almost like she was really here, and we were upstairs in my penthouse apartment.
Her fingertips grazed my jaw, and she pulled me into her. She was desperate, too. The kiss was passionate, needy, and fueled — so, so fueled. It was the type of kiss that said it’s fucking go time.
She pulled back and looked at me, almost dreamily. That was fitting — I was fucking daydreaming, after all.
The thing that worried me, though, was that it was all fake— but I couldn’t stop the delicious images I was creating. I didn’t even want to.
I just continued to think about kissing her slowly, as she pulled and massaged my earlobe. I groaned. I wasn’t sure if it was audible, or just inside my head, but I groaned.
Her lips dragged along my jawline and down to my neck, and I felt myself grow even more excited. I could only hope I wasn’t like a fucking teenage boy tenting in my pants while I stood out in the middle of the hallway, where anyone coming and going from the elevator could see me. But if I was, it wasn’t like I could do anything about it—I was frozen, almost like I was in a trance.
I thought about how I might press her against the wall of the shower, and how her nipples would pucker excitedly against me. I would watch her face as she looked back at me knowing exactly what it was that she did to me.
She electrified me. She made me strain with hardness.
I wanted to lift her into my arms and let her legs wrap around my waist. I wanted to feel her against me and have her bare breasts at eye level so I could look at them as we melted into each other. I wondered how they might look — I wondered if they were as nice as my mind made them out to be—because as the scene unfolded, they looked like the greatest tits in the entire world. They were perfect and even better in my hands. They were warm and soft and supple.
Her fingers trailed through my hair, entangling in it, and I took one of her supple nipples between my lips. I kissed and nipped, relishing the sound of her moans and encouragement.
She yanked at my hair and pulled me up into a passionate kiss. I groaned into her mouth, desperate to taste her. It was like I could literally feel her as she writhed against my stomach. I leaned down, deepening the kiss.
In that moment, she was no longer just the girl I was thinking of kissing — she was the girl I couldn’t imagine not kissing. She was the only girl I wanted to kiss.
I slid one hand down her smooth back and grabbed her surprisingly plump ass. I felt her stiffen for a moment and then shiver. She whispered in my ear — the words were naughty and seductive, but I couldn’t really hear what they were.
All that I cared about was the feel of her tongue running along my skin — it was all so much to drive me completely insane. I imagined that she’d try and pull away for a second, but I held her tightly. Her crooked smile told me that she wanted to do something that I had prevented her from. All she did was seductively gaze at me with her deep green eyes. The more I thought of looking into her eyes, the better.
I pulled her with me and together we fumbled out of the slippery shower, landing on my warmed floors. We were completely entangled in one another. We slammed into each other once again in a battle of tongues and lips. It was mayhem, and I loved it. We stumbled and knocked into the counter and the doorway in heated desperation.
Our desperation was so intense that my mind automatically took us to my bed.
“We’re soaked!” I imagined her say with a laugh as I lowered her onto my overstuffed down comforter.
“I don’t care,” the vision of myself replied smoothly, and even a bit aggressively. But that was exactly the way I would have responded if the moment was actually happening. Who the fuck needed towels? I’d lick every drop of water from her skin.
She looked so soft as I hovered over her naked body. But I wasn’t touching her, not yet; I just wanted to look at her.
Her wet hair was tangled in the sheets, and her lips curved up into a smile unlike any that I had ever seen before. I was almost sad that it was the kind of smile that I had only seen deep in my imagination.
I thought about how I would press my lips to hers and come back up completely breathless. I thought about how I might devour her mouth with my own as I pressed her firmly into my mattress. I was fucking captivated. She entranced me and took over my thoughts, and I couldn’t move as the sensual images continued to bombard me.
My rationale had completely left me like it was crumbling, and thoughts of Kate had just poured out in a frenzy. It was chaotic. I sighed as I crumbled pieces of an envelope in my palms and leaned against the wall. My eyes were closed, and I wondered if I was so tired my mind was starting to completely go haywire.
I thought of burying my face in the lush valley between her breasts.
“Fuck,” I grumbled. I hated that I had to imagine what they looked and felt like. The fact that I was still stupidly daydreaming about it was starting to piss me off because I wanted more than anything to have an accurate vision. To actually see Kate splayed out in front of me for myself — in real life.
But I couldn’t stop myself in my mind. I kissed her bare hip and locked eyes on hers as my mouth hovered just over her lips. I leaned in — then out — then in again, teasing her, torturing her.
I smiled. At least I could torture her in my daydreams because she sure as hell was torturing me in and out of them.
The dream Kate acted like I was all she wanted in that moment. I could only hope that, eventually, I would experience her like this in reality.
I gripped her hips and held her firmly against me. She writhed and breathed raggedly, locking her legs around my waist, trying to get me inside of her.
I wanted to do so much more.
So much more than just touch, well, so much more than to think about touching her.
I moved over her naked body, holding myself up over her chest as it heaved up and down. Her hands ran over my shoulders and down my chest.
She reached lower…
And lower…
And lower again.
My mouth hovered over hers, and we breathed together, our breaths hot on each other’s lips. Goosebumps covered my body as a shiver rolled up my spine and around to my front, right where her hand was headed.
She whispered something against my lips that I didn’t understand once again, but I didn’t have to. It was a seduction device — and that was all I needed to know. Because it worked.
Before I knew it, a sort of heat enveloped me, and I felt myself ease into a blissful state with one single thrust. I went slow, trying to make it good — not really understanding why. Logically speaking, it was a fucking dream. She couldn’t feel anything.
It was stupid really, but that didn’t mean that I could stop, either.
Her fists gripped the sheets, and her eyes squeezed shut.
But I wanted her to look at me. I wanted to look into her eyes. I gripped her hands, tangling my fingers with hers. Her eyes opened, and her hips continued to buck, meeting my rhythm perfectly.
I couldn’t breathe; I could hardly move.
I devoured her, drowned in all of her. I couldn’t believe how good she felt, without actually touching her. She made me feel so incredibly good when I had only just met her. I couldn’t believe how great I thought she was when I really didn’t know her at all.
I was close.
So. Fucking. Close.
I wanted to feel this way forever.
But of course, I couldn’t feel that way forever. I was in the lobby of my apartment building, for one thing. The almost feeling, along with the daydream, had left as quickly as it had come on in the first place.
I blinked, shaking myself free of my lustful thoughts. No matter how much I wanted to be up in my apartment with Kate at this moment — no matter what kind of intense daydreams I imagined for myself — it didn’t make it real. I knew that, but that didn’t change the fact that the arousal in my pants was real. Very, very real at that. Uncomfortably and obviously real.
Fucking hell.
I tucked myself into the corner for just a second. Long enough to pull my coat off and sling it over my forearm. I pulled my forearm in front of me, and I looked like I was impersonating a fucking butler or something. But I didn’t care, as long as no one saw the situation happening in my pants.
I cringed. If someone had seen me while the daydream was going on, and I’d let it go just a bit further, this night might have ended a lot differently. I probably would have wound up in fucking handcuffs or something for public indecency.
I gripped the envelopes and magazine tightly as I made my way to the elevator and up to the top floor until I finally found myself safely in my penthouse apartment.
I really needed that drink.
I moved toward the large, portable bar cart that had been strategically pulled to hang out just beside my couch. As soon as I reached it, I grabbed both a glass and my favorite bottle of bourbon.
I plopped down on the couch, my hands full of much-needed bliss. Damn.
Everything that I’d just done—that insanely detailed fantasy I’d created in the freaking lobby of all places—it told me a couple of things. Either Kate was a freaking wizard in the sack even in my dreams, or it had been way too long since I’d gotten laid. And it could be both were true. I groaned, my eyes tightening of their own accord. It had been a really long time.
I hadn’t been with anyone since my break up with Amelia.
Amelia had totally ruined the nice streak of hotties I’d been enjoying for a while. She completely wrecked my bachelor run and turned me into a trained puppy, trapped in a bullshit romantic relationship. She was a one-night-stand that turned into a whole hell of a lot more.
She was a hot little number with gorgeous long, blonde hair — blue eyes that you’d think were the windows to warmth and kindness…but she was far from kind. She was cold and calculating, and she had a heart of ice. I’d known it, too. The whole time I had known that.
I’d just thought I was her exception. I thought I was the one person she could feel something for. I thought she gave a damn. But clearly, not enough — and I clearly didn’t give a damn enough either for that matter.
She was a lawyer and a damn good one. And although we’d had problems before, that’s where the real problems started to fall into place.
My darling of a girlfriend, being the world-class lawyer and shitty girlfriend that she was, decided to be one of the representing attorneys for BioResearch Labs, the company that my very own father was so hell-bent against.
It had been almost a year and a half since we split up.
That long since I’ve had any relationship that lasted longer than a night. A hook up here and there, but nothing, or no one worthwhile.
Back before I had my own company to run, I would have been ready to jump in the sack with several women just the week after the breakup. If I hadn’t had so much on my plate, I would have probably been at a bar every night since. But I didn’t have time for that anymore. It just wasn’t in the cards.
I could go now if I wanted. It wasn’t that late at night, and I could take a cab downtown and meet someone. Bring her home. Work off all the stress I’d been feeling.
I didn’t even bother standing up to leave, though. Because now, the scary thing was, I didn’t have the urge to go to a bar and bang randoms anymore. There was only one woman I wanted to be with. Kate. I couldn’t get her out of my mind, and the thought of being with anyone else just didn’t hold any appeal.
Which was strange, because I had no idea who she really was. What I did know was that she was actually someone I wanted to get to know.
I groaned, not understanding who the hell I was becoming. It would have been so much easier if I just wanted to fuck her, but unfortunately, there was more to it than that.