Chapter 30 - Harper

I fall asleep feeling like I’m living a dream, but reality comes crashing down when I wake up and rush to the toilet. The nausea is overwhelming, and all I can do is stumble out of bed and sprint to the bathroom. I just barely make it in time, emptying the contents of my stomach into the white porcelain.

My stomach heaves and the bile burns my throat as I retch. My eyes water and I wait for the feeling to pass before flushing the toilet. I’m so consumed with nausea that barely hear Zach get out of bed and follow me.

When the episode has passed, Zach’s hand comes down onto my shoulder. The warmth of his large hand is comforting, and I wipe away the tears that escape my eyes.

“You ok?” He asks. His voice is deep and filled with worry.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve been feeling a bit nauseous for the past couple weeks.”

“Weeks?! Have you been to the doctor?”

I turn to see Zach squatting beside me, lines of worry drawn on his forehead. He reaches over and strokes the side of my cheek. I close my eyes and lean into his hand.

“No, not yet. I was waiting to see if I’d get better.”

“It might be some sort of stomach bug, two weeks is not normal. I’ll take you to my doctor, he’s really good.”

“That’s ok, Zach, really. All I need is some rest. We’ve been working like crazy I’m sure that’s not helping.”

Zach shakes his head. He runs his fingers over my temple and into my hair. His other hand grabs my hand and he helps me stand. After I rinse out my stale mouth, he brings me over to the bed. I lay down and close my eyes, focusing on the softness of the bed and the warmth of the blankets instead of the roiling in my stomach.

In a couple minutes a cup of tea materialises beside me with a few crackers.

“Eat something, and then I’m taking you to the doctor.”

“Zach, really, I’m fine! I don’t need a doctor.”

He shakes his head and crosses his arms and I know I’m not going to win this one. I can’t help it - ever since my many appointments and tests, poking and prodding leading to the news that I was infertile, I’ve developed a strong dislike for doctors. Even the smell of the offices, the sterile plastic beds and crunch of the white paper, it all makes an uncomfortable feeling crawl down my spine.

Still, looking at Zach as he sits on the bed and hands me the cup of tea, I know he won’t change his mind. I see real concern in his eyes and as much as I hate doctors, I can’t help but feel comforted by the fact that Zach cares. He really cares! He wants to take care of me. It’s not a chore at all.

He’s putting my tea back on the side table and stroking my head as I lie back in bed. The nausea has passed and I feel a bit silly.

“I feel fine now,” I start. Zach shakes his head.

“You’re not getting away that easy,” he grins. I can’t help but smile back. “Why are you so against going to the doctor, anyways?”

I hesitate. I feel comfortable with him. I could tell him everything, about the months of tests and trying to have children only to find out I couldn’t. The heartbreak of it all, and how it destroyed my relationship. I could tell him about the miscarriages and finally that doctor’s cold, unfeeling word: infertile.

I could tell him, but I don’t. I just shrug.

“Don’t like doctors,” I say as a weak explanation. Zach looks at me for a few moments but doesn’t press me any further. He just gathers the dishes and stands up.

“Come on, babe, get dressed and I’ll take you. Might be as simple as taking a round of antibiotics.”

Babe.

My heart flutters at the word and Zach didn’t even seem to notice. He turns around and brings the mug back to the kitchen as I lie in his bed with my heart thumping and my head spinning. I swing my legs off the bed and start putting my clothes on.

Looks like it’s time to face my fears and go to the doctor. As much as it makes me nervous, there’s also a warmth in my chest and a fluttering in my stomach when I think about Zach’s eyes, his touch, his voice when he called me babe. He cares about me - truly cares about me.

I slip on my shirt and head out to the main room. Zach is bending over, putting some dishes in the dishwasher. I grin as I watch the way his ass pulls against the fabric of his pants. He stands up and looks over his shoulder.

“What are you laughing at?”

“You cute man bum,” I reply. He turns around completely and leans on the counter, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow.

“Man bum?”

“Yeah!” Both of his eyebrows are now shooting towards his hairline. I laugh. “Don’t worry, yours is really nice. A+ man bum.”

He grins and pushes himself off the counter, taking me in his arms.

“You’re a big pervert, you know that Harper?”

Instead of replying, I slide my hands down his back and cup his ass. I give it a small squeeze and he laughs before tucking his chin down and placing a soft kiss on my lips. My heart cartwheels in my chest and I melt into his arms.

Suddenly the doctor doesn’t seem so daunting.