Chapter 10 - Clay
I’m going crazy. I just woke up and looked out my window and could have sworn I saw Valerie Brooks walking out of my local cafe and into a car. I know from her file that she lives nowhere near SoHo, so either she was on the opposite end of town for some strange reason or I’m seeing visions of her.
I’m guessing it’s visions. It must have been another leggy blonde. I couldn’t even see her face, how could I know it was her! I’m obviously reeling from yesterday. I shouldn’t have thought of her in the shower like that, it only made her front and centre in my mind.
But that girl at the coffee shop moved as gracefully and fluidly as Valerie had yesterday. What if it was her? Maybe I’ll run into her outside the office, and if I pass her onto another doctor, then technically my golden rule wouldn’t be broken….
I take a deep breath. Just because I wouldn’t be breaking my rules on a technicality doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.
I’m dreaming anyways! Why would Valerie Brooks be buying coffee from my local cafe! There are eight and a half million people in New York, there’s no way she would be buying coffee from my neighbourhood cafe on a Sunday morning.
I need to get this girl out of my head and focus on my rules. Nothing gets in the way of work, especially not women.
I turn away from the window and run my fingers through my hair. Last night is the first Saturday night in months that I haven’t brought a girl home. I look at my empty bed and take a deep breath. I need to clear my head, this has already gone on too long.
I slip on my gym shorts and a t-shirt and head downstairs. Running will clear my head. I put my headphones on and walk out into the Sunday morning sun. It’s actually pretty nice to be up a bit earlier and not have to kick a girl out of my bed. There aren’t any scribbled phone numbers to chuck out this morning.
I zone out a few minutes into my run, and the emptiness in my head is like a sweet release. There’s just me and the pavement and the wind blowing past me. For the first time since she stepped into my office yesterday I’m able to calm my chaotic thoughts and refocus myself. This is me. I’m disciplined and driven and am not distracted by something as trivial as a woman.
Step by step, mile by mile, I distance myself from yesterday. My heart is pounding and I’m sweaty and I feel better already. I’m running fast but I feel like my world has finally stopped spinning around me. I’m in control again.
I round the final corner back towards my apartment when the music in my headphones stops and my ringtone fills my ears. I slow down and pull my phone out of my shorts pocket, looking at the caller ID. It’s my real estate agent.
“Chris, how are you?” I ask as I take the call.
“I’m great, Clay, real great. Sorry to call you on a Sunday but I just wanted to keep you in the loop. I put out some feelers about your property and the top sales agent in the area has said she has a buyer in mind who would snap it up in an instant.”
I pause. This is good news. I wanted to get rid of my apartment in New York to give myself the money and mobility to move to Seattle, where the top cardiologist is located. This will give me way more financial freedom. This is the goal I’ve been working towards.
This sale is the first step to reaching that goal. So why am I not excited? I feel a pang of disappointment and an image of Valerie Brooks sitting on my examination table flashes through my mind. I shake my head.
“Wow, Chris, that’s good news. Thanks for the call, I really appreciate it.”
“No problem Clay. I’ll try to set up a viewing for this week, if that works for you.”
“Sounds good, let me know and I’ll have the place ready. Talk to you soon.”
I hang up the phone and stand still for a moment. I feel like the ground has fallen away under my feet and I don’t even know why. I can’t stop thinking about her, seeing her in my mind. I haven’t even had a real conversation with her. She’s my patient!
Slowly, I make my way back to my apartment. I look around at the loft that I refurbished myself ten years ago when I moved to New York. It’s worth about ten times as much as when I bought it, but I can’t help but think about all the work that’s gone into it over the years. I’ve done this myself, I think.
I put myself through school and I practically built this apartment with my own hands. This is what I’ve been working towards, so why do I feel like it’s wrong? Every fibre of my being has been working towards one goal, and I’ve had a laser-like focus the entire time. And now…
I’m back in the shower and I think of yesterday, being under this water thinking of Valerie. Val, as her friends call her. I won’t, I can’t think of her like that again. First thing tomorrow morning I’ll pass her on to another doctor at the practice and forget she ever walked into my life.