Chapter 19 - Harper

“This is me,” I say as he pulls over in front of my apartment. “Thanks for the lift.”

“No worries,” he says as he puts the car in park. I turn to look at him and the breath is almost knocked out of my body when I see his dark brown eyes. Maybe it’s the dim light of the car, or maybe it’s my own imagination but I see the same look that I saw on Friday night.

Desire.

We’re silent for a second. I can’t look away. All I can hear is the roar of my heartbeat in my ears. My mouth goes dry and my eyes flick to his lips as they part slightly. He’s not moving, one hand on the stick shift and one hand on the steering wheel but he’s looking right at me, right through me.

I want him. I could invite him up to my apartment and in moments he’d be inside me like he was that night two weeks ago. We could have another night together and I could finally feel what I’ve been dreaming of ever since the office Christmas party. I could lean over and kiss him right now, and I know he’s have his arms around me in an instant.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I hear myself saying. “Thanks again!”

And just like that, I look away and almost run out of the car. I fumble with my keys. There’s a movement in the corner of my eye, someone walking out from the alley beside me but I ignore it. I finally get the key into the lock and rush into my apartment without looking back, my heart still beating against my ribcage. I lock myself into my apartment and lean against the door, closing my eyes and breathing heavily.

That took all my willpower. Every single ounce of it.

It’s better this way, of course it is. It would be so incredibly inappropriate to invite him in. We’re about to go into a two-week frenzy of work. I can’t be distracted by the thoughts of his lips, or his hands, or his cock…

I shiver before turning on the heat in my apartment. I know my bed will be cold and I’ll wake up huddled in one corner of it. I wonder what it would feel like to wake up in Zach’s arms? To feel the warmth of his body against mine all night?

With a deep breath I drop my bags and take off my jacket. I need to stop this. I head to the kitchen and groan when I open my fridge door. Nothing looks appetising. I open the freezer and see a tub of ice cream.

Why not?

Looks like it’s just me, myself, and ice cream tonight.

I wake up and practically have to sprint to the toilet bowl. I cough and dry heave and finally throw up some bile as the waves of nausea crash over me. Finally, the feeling subsides and I sit down on the ground, my hand still resting on the toilet. I take a deep breath and lift myself up, running the sink to rinse out my mouth. I hate this feeling. I’m going to need to go to the doctor, this is getting ridiculous. Aren’t stomach bugs supposed to be done in a day or two? It’s been almost a week!

I sigh and get ready for work. I take a bit more time than usual to make sure my makeup looks nice, and I wear my favourite skirt. I pause before I grab the matching blazer, seeing my red light-up Christmas sweater hanging in the closet next to it.

If everyone else is going to be off work for the holidays, I’m going to make my own holiday. I slip the sweater on over my top and flick on the lights. The tree on my chest starts flickering and I smile to myself. I check myself out in the mirror - tight pencil skirt and ugly sweater.

Perfect.

The team is already assembled by the time I get into the office. I take off my jacket and hear some laughter.

“Planning on pulling down some more trees, there, Harper?” Rosie calls out as she points to my sweater. “We got rid of the last one but I’m sure I can find one for you to topple over. In fact, I think there’s one in the Rockefeller Center that’s what, 100 feet tall?”

I twirl around for her and she laughs. Another voice joins hers and I spin back around to see Zach standing in his office door.

“I always liked that sweater on you, Harper,” he says with a smile playing in his eyes. My cheeks flush immediately and Rosie’s eyebrows shoot up towards her hairline. She gives me a knowing look and turns back towards her desk.

“It’s the holidays, isn’t it?” I respond, ignoring the flood of desire soaking through my panties. If he keeps looking at me like that I’m going to go absolutely crazy this week. I thought this sweater would be a deterrent!

I try to hide my embarrassment and my arousal by turning to my office and dropping my bag down. It seems like an instant later he’s in my doorway.

“Did you wear that on purpose?” He says in a low growl, taking a few steps towards me.

“On purpose? I mean, yes? I didn’t get dressed in the dark.”

“No, Harper,” he says, now inches away from me. I back up so that my thighs hit my desk and his chest is almost touching mine. “Did you wear that because you knew it would drive me wild.”

If my heart wasn’t thumping so hard I would burst out laughing. This is probably the least sexy item of clothing I own.

“I… no. Does it drive you wild?” My voice is trembling and my fingers are desperate to hook themselves around his neck. I watch as he licks his lips and his eyes flick back up to mine. He hesitates for a moment and then spins around and rushes out of my office. I watch as he runs his fingers through his perfectly styled hair and heads back to his own office, closing the door behind him.

All the air leaves my lungs and I sit down on the edge of my desk. I look out the door and I see Rosie, staring in with an eyebrow raised. She grins and shakes her head slowly in mock disapproval. I roll my eyes and turn around, still trying to catch my breath and slow down my heartbeat.

I should have brought a change of underwear.