Xavier
I sat on the back porch, still holding my phone in my hand. The guests had long ago cleared out. My brothers had pretty much cleaned themselves up, but there I sat, mud so dry and crusted on my body that it made my skin feel tight. Only I didn’t care.
My heart literally ached in my chest so fucking badly it felt like I was being stabbed.
“Any luck?” Red asked as he sat down on the step beside me.
I only shook my head, as I continued to stare out into the empty backyard.
I didn’t have to tell anyone what happened; they had been witness to the display. Everyone watched as Morgan let me have it, and I said nothing. I didn’t chase after her when she left, because honestly, I felt like I couldn’t move. The idea of hurting Toby the way she explained nearly broke me.
My brothers knew all about Toby; they had heard me talk of him often over the last couple months. Hell, they’d heard me talk about Morgan’s entire family including Marcus, sometimes to the point where they’d tell me to shut the fuck up.
“What are you gonna do?” Red asked, only I had no idea how to answer him.
“Did you see the hurt in her eyes?” I asked, knowing that anyone who was close enough to her wouldn’t have been able to miss it. “I did that, I put that there.”
“You can’t be so hard on yourself,” he told me but I disagreed.
“The hell I can’t,” I said, gripping my phone tighter. “I made those plans, me. I set it up and promised him I’d be there. I should have been there, or at least fucking called.”
Red didn’t argue because I think he’d figured out it wouldn’t help.
“So you make it up to him,” he offered.
“How?”
“He’s a kid. He may have disabilities and struggles, but he’s still a kid. They’re forgiving,” he assured me. “From what I get, Toby idolizes you. He may be upset with you now, but he will forgive you.”
“What about Morgan?” I asked as I looked back down at my phone for the hundredth time. “Will she be able to forgive me?”
“Morgan may be a little harder,” he chuckled. “That girl is a fireball.”
He wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t already know. She was a difficult girl, but it was one of the reasons why I loved her. She was strong and resilient. She wasn’t some weak link that relied on anyone to solve her problems; she looked for ways to solve them herself. She challenged me.
“At this point, I know you’re thinking the worst, but give her time,” Red told me. “She’s pissed and hurt. But you’ll think of something, and if you need help, you know we’re all here for ya.” He gripped my shoulder and offered a reassuring squeeze before standing up and walking back inside.
Not often did Red have a serious conversation with any of us. The guy was a cut up, a hassler, but I knew if I was ever in trouble, he for sure would have my back.
Lifting my phone one last time, I slid my finger across the screen and opened up the ongoing thread of text messages I had been sending to Morgan.
Xavier: I’m sorry Morgan, I swear I never meant to hurt him. I will make it up to him, I promise.
I hit send and never expected to get anything in return. After all, she hadn’t replied to the last twenty I’d sent. My stomach tensed when my phone vibrated, indicating a return message.
Morgan: It’s not me that needs the apology. Though I am severely pissed off at you, he is the one that’s devastated.
Well, the good news was she didn’t tell me to fuck off.
Xavier: I will apologize to him, and more. You being pissed means you still care, and that is all I can ask for right now.
I hit send and I could almost imagine her rolling her eyes as she read my message.
She never responded, but honestly I didn’t expect she would. Getting what I already got was more than I deserved.
***
I woke up feeling hopeful.
After I spent more than an hour on the phone with my dad, I had a plan of redemption set in motion. Yes, I would need the help of my brothers, but I knew they’d offer it. Anything was better than seeing me mope around looking lost.
I moved through my day, missing most of what took place in all my classes. I spent most of the time hiding my phone in my lap, shooting off one text message after another. I left Morgan alone for the day, even though I wanted to text her so many times. Marcus suggested that it was for the best, and I figured he’d know.
Marcus was my ally though, and I needed him on my side.
The minute the professor dismissed my last class of the day, I practically ran toward the exit.
As if on cue, my phone rang and I didn’t even have to look to know who it was. “Yeah,” I said as I hit answer and lifted it to my ear.
“I just had Mike drop off the supplies you asked for,” my father told me. “He said that her father helped unload everything, then insisted on paying.”
I stopped walking as my stomached tensed at the thought of Mike taking any money from Ed.
“But Mike told him it had been taken care of,” my dad added. “Said he didn’t look happy about it, but offered his thanks just before Mike drove off.”
“Thanks, Dad.” I took in a deep breath as I pictured her father doing exactly as he’d said. “He’s prideful and determined. Morgan is just like him, so I can imagine how hard it was for Mike to remain in control. But tell the guy thanks from me.” I paused at the side of my car with my keys in hand. “And thank you too, Dad.”
“I really like Morgan,” he said, and the mention of her name made my heart race. “She’s a good one, Xavier, and I understand why she was upset. I also know that she feels pretty strongly about you.”
“Yeah?”
“It’s the look she got in her eyes when you two were over. The way she watches you, the smile that covers her mouth. You can fix this,” he assured me, “but be prepared to go through hell and back to do so.” He chuckled. “Women have a way of making a man do things they’d not normally do.”
I couldn’t imagine Morgan making me jump through hoops for forgiveness, but what did I know? It took a lot of convincing to get her to date me in the first place, so I could definitely be wrong.
The entire drive over to Morgan’s parents’ house I was a nervous wreck. I had no idea what to expect, for all I knew they could both be as pissed off at me as their daughter. Marcus reassured me that though they wished things had gone differently, they didn’t hold a grudge. For what I planned I had to have their okay. It was their house, after all. I may have added a few more ideas in the mix other than what I initially mentioned, but in the end I thought they’d love it.
When I rounded the corner and saw the familiar cars lining the street in front of the Mathews’ home, my nerves kicked up a notch. This was it.
Slowing to a stop, I was momentarily shocked. I knew that Red, Isaac, and Brent had agreed to help without hesitation, but what I didn’t expect was to find every brother from the house there. They had already begun working on the outside of the house, and Edmond stood back, scratching his head as he stared at all of them.
At the sound of my car door slamming, he turned to face me and instantly began to walk in my direction. “You do all this?” he asked, and I hesitantly began to nod my head. I wasn’t sure if he was pissed or thankful. I was hoping for the latter of the two.
“I don’t know how I’m gonna pay for…” I cut him off immediately.
“There is nothing to pay for.”
Again he lifted his hand to his head and began scratching along his hairline. I figured it must’ve been some type of nervous twitch.
“I’m not good with this type of thing,” he stated. “I need to pay for something, somehow make this right.”
“I screwed up,” I confessed, regaining his attention. He lowered his hand, yet remained silent, so I continued. “I made a promise to Toby, and the fact that I broke that promise and disappointed him is inexcusable. So you allowing me to do this, to make up for my wrongs, that’s payment enough.”
He stared at me as if he wanted to say something but didn’t know how. So instead I continued. “She won’t talk to me, and I can’t say that I blame her. But I’ve gotta make things right with Toby. He deserves to know the truth about why I wasn’t here.” I looked toward the house and watched as Red and Isaac worked on hanging the new screen door my father had brought over.
“Marcus told me what Morgan told him,” I continued, still unable to look at Ed. “I know lying to him wasn’t easy for her. She’s always honest with him, even when it’s hard. The fact that she lied for me just makes a bad situation even worse.”
“I told him you were coming over today,” Edmond said. “He lit up like the fireworks on the fourth of July,” he chuckled, but when I looked back at him, his eyes were glossy. “There is nothing a father wants more than to see his kids happy.” He paused, his throat bobbing as he swallowed. “You, Xavier, seem to be able to make both my kids happy. So you’re all right by me, and the rest will just fall into place.”
I hoped he was right. His daughter was one stubborn woman.
I left the guys to do their thing outside. They all knew what needed to be done. Any person could look around and see the things that were in desperate need of repair. The shutters were hanging crooked and a few of the gutters were falling off. My mother had told my father to deliver a variety of different flowers and bushes. She said everyone should have a little color, and Morgan’s family deserved to have beauty on the outside that mirrored the beauty on the inside. She was poetic like that; her heart was forever thinking of others.
I moved inside and found Kathy, Marcus, and Toby sitting in the living room. The moment I entered they all turned to face me. I didn’t even get a chance to speak before Toby started squealing and laughing. The excitement in his eyes caused by me simply walking through the door was overwhelming, but then I remembered how I let him down.
“Hey pal,” I said, stepping around the couch and walking closer to him. I was well aware that I was being watched, but I didn’t look at anyone else but Toby. “Listen, bud, I’m really sorry about last night. Morgan told you that I had car trouble, but the truth is, buddy, I was selfish and I forgot.”
Toby looked over toward his mom, then to Marcus.
“Do you think that maybe you could forgive me?” I asked. “You’re one of my best friends, pal, and if I didn’t have you in my life, I know I’d miss you like crazy.”
My heart raced, but I hoped more than anything that not only would I gain his forgiveness, but his mother’s as well. Though they’d never admit it, I was sure both Kathy and Edmond had to feel a little disappointed in me too.
When Toby looked back at me and gave me the biggest toothy grin ever, a huge relief washed over me. “We still friends?” Toby nodded and said “Yes” at the same time, only it sounded more like a “Yesh.”
“I got a favor to ask,” I told him. “I’ve got a surprise for you, but in order to give it to you I’m gonna need you to stay in here for a while and let me in your room. Does that sound like something you could do?”
Again he looked to his mother as if asking her for permission.
“You choose,” she told him, a smile on her face. She already knew my plans.
When he looked back at me and gave me a quick nod, I stood, excited to get started.
Had the guys known that I spent a few hours on Pinterest, at my mother’s direction, they would have ammunition to tease me for years. I wanted to deck out Toby’s room like no other. To create a unique Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle room would take some major imagination.
“So where do we start?” I spun around to find Marcus standing behind me in the doorway of Toby’s room. “I’m here for you, use me.” He wagged his eyebrows, making me laugh.
“Beware, because when I’m done with you, you’ll be wishing you didn't offer yourself up so easily.” His crazy innuendos and remarks didn’t bother me one bit. I knew the guy taunted me because he actually liked me in a friendship kind of way. It was his way of showing me I had been accepted. So now I threw it right back at him.
I opened the notebook I had in my hands and showed him the things I had printed out.
“We’re making that?” he asked, leaning in closer.
“We’re gonna do our best,” I told him, “and this too.”
“Is that a sewer backdrop?” he asked in awe. “And those glow in the dark?”
“Yeah, now you see why I need to get started,” I said, looking around the small space. “There’s not much in here, but I think we can make it more roomy. I gave Red and Isaac a list of the things I needed and from the looks of it, they got everything I asked for.”
“Well, roll up your sleeves, Pineapple Man, and let’s get started.” He offered me a smirk just before he winked at me, and all I could do was shake my head at the guy.
I realized in that moment everything I had gained over the last few months. A beautiful girlfriend and a great kid who thought I was amazing. I got two great people who reminded me a lot of my own parents, and I got Marcus too.