Reid
I sent Zoey a text last night. I don’t know what possessed me because she probably won’t even answer, but I have to try to apologise for the way things went down between us. I feel like if I don’t, then there won’t be any closure, things will just remain unresolved. That’s not what I want at all. I know she said she understood at the time, but I need to be sure she knows it wasn’t her fault. It was on me. Well, I guess it was partly both of us, but…I just hope she’ll agree to meet me and we can put the past behind us where it belongs. I need to keep moving forward.
I’m tidying up the beer bottles and pizza boxes I didn’t have chance to tidy the other night when I hear my phone chime with an incoming text:
Zoey: I’m not ready to talk yet. I’ll let you know when I am.
Although I’d anticipated that response, it still annoys me that after six months she’s not ready to talk. It also pisses me off that I have to be okay with waiting for her to be ready to talk. Does it not matter what I want?
I throw all the trash out and head to take a shower. I’m meant to be meeting Jase and Liam at a bar in a couple of hours. I’m hoping it doesn’t turn out to be an attempt at match-making, I’m not in the mood for that shit right now.
***
After a drink in our local bar, Jase and Liam drag me to a place called Beatz. It’s notorious for its house music and all the kind of crap I probably listened to in my youth, but as a nearly thirty-year-old man, I feel way too old for this shit.
“Can we get outta here?” I try to ask Jase over the thumping music.
“What?” he yells back.
I take out my phone and tap out a text. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and then nods. He hooks an arm around Liam and we head towards the doors.
“Sorry, must be getting grumpy in my old age. I don’t know how people can listen to that shit,” I say as we walk away from Beatz towards the high street.
“I didn’t realise it was that kind of music. I was told by a friend that they do theme nights and stuff. Sorry, bro,” Jase replies as he walks up the road a little ahead of me, his arm draped around Liam, his hand in the back pocket of Liam’s jeans.
A pang of jealousy hits me square in the chest. I never realised it before, but I’m jealous of my brother. He has the one thing I want—not Liam, of course—love. I want the kind of love he and Liam share. To be comfortable with someone, to have fun with them, most of all, to be loved for the rest of my life.
Liam stops short and looks excitedly at the building next to us. We seem to have arrived at Eden Bar, a local gay bar. The last couple of times the boys managed to drag me in there, they creased themselves laughing as I got hit on more than once. I laugh as Liam links arms with both Jason and me and drags us in for a drink.
***
We got home kind of late, but we had an awesome night in the end. I’m paying the price for it now though. With double vision and a splitting headache, I’m glad I don’t have to work today. Saturdays are made for lying in and eating a good old fry-up. Jase is in the kitchen cooking as I head to pour myself some coffee.
“Hey bro, fresh coffee in the pot. The bacon is frying and breakfast will be ready when Liam gets out of the shower in about ten minutes. Sound good?”
“Mm-hmm,” I mumble as I reach for the coffee pot. I love the smell of freshly brewed coffee. Even more so when I’m hungover and I know I’ll drink a ton of the stuff as black as treacle.
I like to think I’m in good shape, I eat well and I look after myself. But I’m not going to deny myself a fry-up now and again, especially one that’s being cooked for me. I sit at the kitchen island and listen to my brother humming as he putters about the kitchen. He passes me a tall glass of filtered water from the jug in the fridge and pulls a packet of paracetamol from the drawer. He places two tablets on the island. I am only too happy to down them with a gulp of cold water.
It’s nice sitting in the relative silence of the kitchen, waiting for my head to clear and drinking coffee like it’s going out of fashion.
Liam walks into the room wearing the same clothes as the night before. He looks over at me and nods before walking up behind Jase and wrapping his arms round him.
“Morning, gorgeous,” Jase says as he turns to kiss Liam.
“Morning. Smells delicious,” he responds with a smile.
“Sit down, it’s all ready.”
Jase plates three breakfasts up and puts the coffee pot in the middle of the table.
We finish breakfast and Liam loads the dishwasher. I’m told I smell and should really hit the shower, so that’s exactly what I do.
***
Her gorgeous blonde hair and sultry blue-green gaze are what I see as I close my eyes under the steady jet of steaming hot water. I feel myself begin to stiffen as an image comes to mind of her in a bikini she wore on one of our many trips to the beach that summer. Her face is alight with amusement, she’s mouthing words I can no longer hear, but I can see her soft, heart-shaped mouth moving. There’s a light breeze that lifts her hair as she runs towards the water. I grip the base of my cock and feel it throb to life at the images my mind conjures of that perfectly toned body. Her skin always had a sun-kissed look to it. I found myself imagining what it would taste like all too often. It was something forbidden back then, but now I’m free to imagine what the hell I like. My mind drifts and my cock twitches in my hand. I think of her supple skin and what it would feel like to roam my hands over the curves of her body. I love the fact that she’s not a stick-thin Barbie like some of the girls I know. The smell of her invades the air; she smells of coconut, the shampoo she always used. I’m moving my hand up and down my shaft as I remember all the things I thought I had locked away in a corner of my mind. Seeing her the other day seems to have been the key to unlocking those memories. I pump my cock harder as I see her pert breasts, the fullness of them. The hollow of her throat looks so good as I imagine kissing her tenderly. I can’t hold back for much longer, my body is radiating that feeling of euphoria I experience right before I come. I jerk harder and faster, my other hand cupping my balls. I imagine it’s her hand there instead. Her eyes come into view and I grunt as it pushes me over the edge.