Reid
After a few more dates with Molly, I decided we weren’t right together. For the last couple of months I’ve mostly been single. Jason and Liam have tried setting me up, but the women they’ve coerced me into dating have just been poor substitutes for what my heart wants. Molly has tried texting me here and there, but I don’t know what more I can tell her. I’m not interested in taking things any further with us. What more can I say? Yes, we slept together a couple of times and the sex was good, but the chemistry I’d felt on the first date fizzled out fast. I think the first date was the excitement of something new, but now I feel nothing when I see her. I saw her in town a couple of weeks ago when I was out with Jase and Liam. I hadn’t recognised her at first because she’d cut her hair and dyed it blonde. When she saw me and came over to say hi, I was friendly but distant. I didn’t want her getting the wrong idea, so she’d gone back to her friends and I haven’t heard from her or seen her since.
I have no problem being single, it has its benefits, but I don’t want to keep going around in circles. I feel like a fool because I can’t just man up and tell Kara how I feel. But it’s not just fear of her rejection that makes me hesitant…it’s Zoey. She’s my ex-fiancée and Kara’s best friend. I don’t know how she’d react if there was something between Kara and me. I don’t really want to test the waters by having that conversation with Zoey. I know she’s moved on and friends tell me she’s happily engaged to a guy now. I’m happy about that because she deserves someone who loves her the way she was always meant to be loved. Just because I couldn’t give her what she wanted doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve it. But to get in contact with her now, after the way we ended, I don’t think that would be the best idea.
Then there’s the fact that Liam got himself a part-time job working at Chapter & Verse with Kara, and he’s informed me that she’s currently dating a guy called Sawyer. It’s not my place to go and tell her how I feel, really open my heart to her, not when she’s seeing someone. I want her to be happy, and if she truly is, then it’s not for me to go and shit all over that just because I want her to myself.
I’m thinking about taking some time to go away and visit family. I know that I’ve been there and done that before and it didn’t stop how I feel about Kara, but I’m not sure what else to do. I’m not really living my life here, I’m just existing. Jase and I talked the other night and he doesn’t want me to go. He wants me to go into business with him and put my mind to that instead. He figures it will keep my thoughts on work and not love.
Sitting at home with a steaming mug of coffee in hand, I know I really need to make up my mind. I can’t keep running, Jase is right. But what do you do when your heart wants something it can’t have?
My phone chimes on the coffee table next to me and I consider ignoring it, but it could be Jase, and he’d only get mad at me for wallowing. He knows me too well, and sees that that is exactly what I’ve been doing lately.
Jase: Hey Bro! Liam wants us to go and meet him at Eden Bar for a few drinks. You up for it?
I’m not really in the mood for going out and having to fake being happy, but I can’t just sit around and stew in my own thoughts.
Me: Sure. What time?
Jase: 6 p.m. I’ll be home to shower and stuff around 5, so…I’ll see you later. Don’t you dare bring your pity party out though, okay? Let’s go out and get drunk, forget your worries for the night, yeah?
I know Jase wants to help, but getting drunk isn’t the answer to my problems. However, I can’t disagree that a night out with him and Liam would be fun.
Getting my ass off the couch, I decide to take a hot shower and begin getting ready. Jase will be home in an hour, and he takes longer in the bathroom than any woman I have ever met, so it’s best I use the bathroom while I have chance.
Standing under the hot jets, I close my eyes and lean my head against the tile wall. Why does Kara have to be in my head and my heart? What is it about her that got under my skin from the minute we met?
“Reid, this is my best friend, Kara,” Zoey says as she introduces me to her flatmate.
“Hi Kara,” I respond as I look at the woman stood before me. She is breath-taking. I shouldn’t think these kind of things when I’m already dating someone, but there’s something alluring about her.
“It’s good to meet you, Reid. Zoey has talked about you non-stop.”
God, even her voice is beautiful. Why couldn’t I have met her before I met Zoey? I mentally shake myself as I plaster a smile on my face.
“All good things, I hope?”
“Yeah, of course. She told me it was your parents and her parents conspiring that got the two of you together. Her parents are so pushy. I should know, they were like a second set of parents to me growing up.”
“Mine are pushy too, and that’s putting it mildly.”
“So, are we going out tonight?” Zoey asks as she looks from me to her best friend.
“Yeah, umm…I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve invited a friend along too,” Kara responds and smiles widely at Zoey.
“A friend or a ‘friend,’” Zoey asks as she nudges her friend in the ribs.
“An actual friend. Men and women are allowed to be just friends, you know, Zoey.”
I’m stood watching the exchange between these two women and I feel a small twinge of jealousy that Kara has invited another guy out with us. She may protest he’s just a friend, but the way she blushed made it look as though there was more to it than meets the eye.
An hour later, the four of us are on our way to the restaurant. Caylan, the guy Kara invited, seems like an okay guy on the surface, but I can’t help but feel like there’s something a little off about him. Maybe it’s just me being jealous. I have no right to feel that way, so I push those feelings deep down inside me and concentrate on being present for the double date rather than trying to figure out what the hell is going on with me. I love Zoey…don’t I?
Shaking the memory away, I turn the water up hotter to blast the cobwebs away. Hearing the front door open, I decide to stay in the shower a little longer. When I’m done, I get out and wrap a towel around my waist and head for my bedroom.
“Please tell me you didn’t use up all the hot water?” Liam asks as he spots me in the hallway.
“It’s not like you and Jase don’t do exactly that on a frequent basis,” I jest.
“I’m next in the shower then. Jase can make do with the cold water when he gets home.”
“That’s true love,” I reply as I head into my bedroom.
“You know it,” Liam calls to me as he goes into the bathroom and shuts the door.
I hear the lock click in place and laugh as I realise he’s done it because he knows Jase will fight him for the last bit of hot water.
***
We stumble out of Eden Bar a little worse for wear. I think I may have drunk more than I intended. It’s hard not to when the boys force me to drink cocktails with them. I usually drink beer, but they always seem to rope me into ordering stupid pink girly drinks. The last few hours seem to have taken my mind off my worries, which is exactly what the boys had hoped for. Neither one of them would let me stew. If they saw me looking even remotely maudlin, they’d do their level best to pull me out of my own head. Sometimes though, my head was stuck up my arse, so it was harder for them to help me.
Opening the front door, Liam suggests we do some tequila shots to round the night off. I refuse the offer, but tell them to get their fill. Jase retrieves the bottle and two shot glasses from the kitchen, and then the three of us sit in the lounge and talk until the small hours.
I jerk awake and look at the clock, only to see it’s three in the morning. Jase and Liam are snoring on the couch and I have a crick in my neck from having fallen asleep sat in the chair. I get up and stretch my muscles out. Spotting the blanket on the back of the couch, I shake it out and lay it over the boys. There won’t be any waking them until morning when they wake hungover. Good job it’s a weekend.
Heading to the kitchen, I fill a glass with water, take some paracetamol from the drawer, and head for my room. Once I place the glass and pain killers on my bedside table, I strip down to my boxers and crawl under the blanket. My head is thumping and I know that no matter how much sleep I get, I’ll feel like crap in the morning, hence the tablets. An image of a beautiful blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman fills my mind as I drift off to sleep.