“Look, Kyra, I really don’t want to keep going over this point but why would I tell you? It’s not like we’re together.”
Later that afternoon, I questioned him on why he hadn’t mentioned anything sooner. His cutting words were yet another reminder as to where we stood. My rising hopes were dowsed in bitter disappointment.
“Okay. I’m sorry I might have misconstrued our arrangement as you actually caring for me in some way.”
My emotional high from only a couple of hours ago came crashing down, breaking into a million pieces around me. How was it possible for one guy to give me such a rollercoaster ride from day to day? Or even hour to hour?
I trundled out of his office, returning to my work. I made a point of being civil but nothing more for the rest of the day.
Arriving home, I received a lovely message from Scott asking how my day was. We chatted all night over text, which cheered me up to no end. It only served to remind me that I never had this from Paul. Why couldn’t he just engage me in some flirty text conversation?
Tuesday and Wednesday, Paul never showed in the office. I had no idea why, and I hadn’t been asked to alter his movements diary. The last I’d seen of him was when he walked out of the office on Monday night with a pale face and his mobile glued to his ear.
In all honesty, I was still stinging from his most recent clarification of our “beneficial relationship” and was quite grateful for his absence. It also allowed me time to chat with Scott without any distractions. We had now texted every day since Saturday evening. Every time his name appeared in my message inbox, my heart fluttered. I now looked forward to his sweet messages and the wonder of when I would see him again was becoming all too consuming.
Thursday midday, Paul reappeared in the office. He said nothing as he sauntered past my desk and into his office. Gobsmacked by his audacity and rudeness, I debated marching in to give him a piece of my mind when he called me into his office. I bit my lip, my heart pounding in expectation of our heated embraces once again.
He sat behind his desk, motioning for me to take a seat in front of him. Dread began to replace my hopes of his sweet kisses. His blissful blue eyes were nothing but flat, emotionless windows. Everything about him today screamed alpha male.
“Kyra, I think we need to call it a day with our little…arrangement.” He waved his hand in the air as if swatting at a fly.
I was stunned into silence, struggling to ignore the instant stabbing pain of someone twisting a knife in my heart. Blinded by my own stupidity and romantic fantasies, I was now sat here, a deep ache resounding through me as his words hit home.
I looked at the floor, my heart hammering against my ribs. “What? Why?”
He drummed his fingers on his desk. “I can’t explain my reasons. Well, I can, I just don’t want to. I think it’s for the best.”
Tears pricked at my eyes. I couldn’t comprehend this complete turnaround of events. What the hell was going on? I dared to look at his gorgeous face to see he was looking past me, staring at the wall behind me as if I bored him. That stung like a thousand bees.
I stood up, speechless, and shuffled to the door.
“Do you not want to say anything?” he asked.
I shook my head, still facing the door so he couldn’t see the tears brimming in my eyes. I shot out, heading straight to the loo, and locked myself in. I attempted to compose myself, taking deep breaths and mouthfuls of cold water. Sending a quick text to Ash, I soon had a comforting phone call, reassuring me I would be okay.
“Just concentrate on the one guy who can give you what you want and need, Ky. As much as I hate to say it, it’s not him.”
I nodded, numb.
“No guy is worth crying over, Kyra, but when you find one who is, he won’t make you cry.”
“That doesn’t make sense. It’s a total contradiction of itself.”
He chuckled. “So is life.”
***
Friday morning was awkward to say the least. We both ignored each other all morning. When I went out for lunch as normal, he headed out at the same time. When I noticed him heading for the stairwell, I made a point of taking the lift. He knew I never took the lift so I felt my point was well made.
I’d been back at work barely twenty minutes before I had a phone call from the receptionist downstairs telling me I had a package delivered.
“What is it, Kelly? I’m a bit busy.”
“No worries. I’ll bring it up to you.”
A couple of minutes later, Kelly walked through the door with a massive bouquet of roses and lilies covering her petite face.
She settled them on the edge of my desk. “Secret admirer?”
I blushed and pulled the card from the side of the wrapper.
Beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady. Scott XXX
My cheeks exploded in embarrassment, and I thanked her for bringing them up. I had arranged another date with him tonight and I couldn’t wait to see him—especially now.
Kelly disappeared back downstairs, and Paul emerged from his office. He raised his eyebrows when he noticed the flowers.
“This is not a florist shop.”
His sharp tone left me wanting to curl up into a ball and squeak apologies. “I didn’t know I was getting them.”
“I don’t care. Make sure it doesn’t happen again. Understood?”
I nodded as, again, I struggled with his sudden one eighty degree turn in behaviour towards me.
He stalked out of the office and returned a few minutes later, bursting through the door like a tornado. “Alter my movements diary, please.” He tapped his foot as I scrambled around my desk for his diary. “I’m out in Germany for the next three weeks. I will be back in the office on the tenth of August.”
My automatic reaction had been to want to ask questions but I made a point of saying nothing.
“It is work related, not personal, so I will be reachable on email and my phone.”
I nodded, still saying nothing.
He paused for a second before marching into his office. Shortly after, he left the office, muttering a pathetic goodbye. He didn’t even bother to look at me as he left for the next three weeks.