SAWYER

1.

I looked at the table and imagined myself flipping it over. I imagined trashing the entire place, letting out all the anger and jealousy. That’s what it really was. Fucking jealousy. The fact that Kate did so much for so long and all I wanted to do was take care of her. But someone else was going to be involved. And of all people…

“Tate,” I growled.

I put my hand to the table but didn’t flip it.

I wasn’t going to bring the hell I lived into this place.

I walked to Jason’s room and stood there, staring at all the toys. The dinosaur blankets. A basketball hoop attached to his closet door with a hamper attached to it. I playfully pretended to take an air shot.

My throat squeezed tight for a few seconds.

I couldn’t believe this shit. How attached I was to Jason. How much I really did love Kate. The sense of being a family and finally being able to prove to Kate that I was here to stay.

I stood there until Kate arrived.

She called my name a few times, each time getting louder and more nervous. Of course she would think I took off. That I got on my ride and disappeared into the horizon. Gone for years again to live in regret.

But that wasn’t me.

I was standing there, in the fire, not caring about getting burned.

“Sawyer,” Kate said in a sighing voice when she saw me. “Sawyer…”

I turned my head.

She was blurry because my eyes were glossed over.

“Sawyer,” she said again as she approached me.

She slipped her arms around me and hugged me.

I put my chin to her head.

“Talk to me,” she whispered. “Please talk to me.”

I choked back the emotion. “I don’t want to lose you. Both of you.”

“How are you going to lose us?” she asked.

“No matter what I do right now everyone just assumes I’m going to leave,” I said. “I’m not leaving you, Kate. Somewhere inside my head and heart I wanted to protect you and Jason from Jed. I wanted to show you who I can be and take care of you both. For the rest of my life. But that’s not going to happen now.”

“Sawyer…”

“No,” I said. I broke away and put her at arm’s length. “Kate, listen to me. Tate is a good person. He’s honest. He’s loyal. He works hard. He was my best friend all of my life. And I think in some fucked up way I’m hurting for him. That he loved your sister and it didn’t work out. At the same time, I’m jealous that he gets to be Jason’s father.”

Kate shook her head. “Sawyer, this mess is on my shoulders too. I hid Jason from everyone. Maybe Tate should have said something but he never saw Jason before. And there’s no need to be jealous. Do you think Tate’s going to take Jason away from me?”

“I don’t know what I think right now.”

“Jason is the luckiest kid I know. Look at what he has now. Because of you.”

“What?”

“You, Sawyer,” Kate said. “You came back and fixed everything. You stole my heart. You showed Jason what it’s like to have a father figure in his life. And Jason is at St. Skin right now. With his family. The family you dreamed of. The shop you and Tate started together. Look at what you gave that kid. Nobody else can ever say that. He’s got a support system now that’s going to carry him for the rest of his life. When I have to tell him about his mother… he’s going to have you to turn to. You. Tate. Cass. Maddox. River. Zayne. Prick. Axel. Do I need to keep going?”

“I get it,” I said. “Okay? I get it. I’m just sorry you keep getting let down. I let you down. Your sister let you down. You lived in fear of Jed all those years. Now Tate let you down.”

Kate pushed my arms out of the way and touched my face. “Shut up, Sawyer. Nobody let me down. If anything, I let myself down. Just keep your promise and don’t leave. Ever.”

“I’m not going anywhere, darling,” I said. “Not a chance in hell.”

“Then we have nothing to worry about,” she whispered. “This will play out the way everything else has done in our life. I’m sorry it hurts you that Tate is Jason’s father.”

“He’s going to step up and be the best fucking father in the world,” I said. “I guess I’ll be the fun uncle.”

“How about you just be Saint?”

“No. That guy is gone. He’s dead. Saint left years ago, darling. Sawyer is here and staying.”

“How about Sawyer realizes that we are alone in the apartment and have time to spend together?”

Kate inched toward me and moved to her toes. She clawed at me, pulling me down to kiss me.

When our lips touched, I realized something I hated to admit.

I had spent so much time protecting her… when in reality, she was the one protecting me. From myself.

I loved her for that.

I kissed her harder, slipping a hand behind her back.

I pulled her close and held her in my arms.

But only for a few seconds.

After all, Kate was right… we were alone…

* * *

2.

I left a trail of bad intention kisses up her inner thigh as I kissed her beautiful sex. She thrust her hips off the bed with a breathless sigh and I slid my hands around to her ass and held her in place. I could have stayed there all day - maybe the rest of my life - savoring her sweetness, never being able to fully quench the thirst she made me feel. And that was fine by me.

Her nails dug at my shoulders as I kissed her faster, letting my tongue run rampant, loving her taste, loving the way her hips danced, loving the noises she made as they echoed around the bedroom.

I moved my hands to her sides and followed the curvy lines of her body all the way to her breasts. I eased over her breasts and she quickly put her hands to mine, squeezing. I growled, not wanting to be told what to do. She began to grind her lower half at me and I forever kept control with the tip of my tongue, knowing where to touch and how to do it. With just a few precise flicks against her tender nub, her body froze other than her hips quivering, begging for more. I kissed against her sweetness and turned my head just a little to take her into my mouth. Now I moved as though I had only seconds to live. There was no mercy given because I wanted to feel all of her as she let go.

Her entire body quivered and convulsed as I took her to the edge and beyond.

I savored every inch of her, moving up and breaking away with a loud kiss. She quickly looked down at me, biting her bottom lip, ready for more.

I kissed up her body and took my hands away from her breasts. I offered her a couple sweet and flirty kisses to each breast as I moved to my knees, showing her what her body did to me. She reached for me, her hand scaling my hard thickness, tip to root, and right back up. I sucked in a breath and hissed, knowing she had the dangerous power of making me explode way too early.

I leaned forward, putting my hands to the bed, doing a mini-pushup so I could kiss her. Our lips and tongues attacked each other as her hand continued to tease me. She finally gripped tight at the root of my throbbing cock and pulled, wanting me inside her. I lowered down, feeling her swollen warmth accommodate me as I slowly began to offer her myself, inch by inch. Going so slow that I had to break the kiss and grit my teeth. Kate grabbed my face and pulled me down to kiss me again. There was a quick moment when I swore to myself I was going to let go. I hurried to pull back and growled deep in my throat. Kate lifted her hips, not letting me get away. I thrust at her, taking myself to the hilt. Now she was the one breaking our kiss, her head going back as she cried out my name.

I kissed her neck and began to love her.

My hands touched from her hips all the way up to her face. I slid my fingers down her arms and interlocked my fingers to her hands. I put her hands over her head and kept her there. My body tight against hers. Our eyes staring at each other. Her legs wrapped tight around my body. And I didn’t stop loving her.

And I never would stop loving her… ever.

* * *

3.

She rested her head on my chest. The covers were just above her hips. I stared across the room, still feeling drunk from her body. I could taste her on my lips and feel her on my skin. My left hand gently played with her hair, releasing the smell of her shampoo. It drove me wild, making me ready to go again.

“Darling, I need you to tell me what you want to do with everything,” I said.

“What do you mean?” Kate asked.

“Everything, Kate. I walked back into everyone’s lives. I can prove myself to the guys at the shop. I can deal with throwing a few punches with Tate when things get crazy. But when it comes to you…”

“Sawyer, just be here,” she said.

“I’m here,” I said.

“Good. Nothing else matters to me. I’ve loved you from the moment I met you. You took what was left of my innocence and left it in the middle of the street the first time we ran from the cops.”

I laughed. “I think a lot of your innocence was lost in the back alleys and rooftops and under the stars.”

“If the stars could talk…”

“Oh, I’m sure the stars were blushing as they watched the things you learned to do with me.”

Kate popped her head up. Her cheeks were red. “Stop.”

I grinned. “I want forever with you. The forever we never talked about but our eyes always teased. I want that for real.” I reached for her left hand and made damn sure she knew what that meant as I touched her ring finger. “The kind of forever that makes you scared because there is everything to lose.”

“I can’t be scared when I’m with you,” Kate said.

“What if I leave again?”

Kate curled her lip. “I’ll chase you down and I’ll cut your dick off.”

“Whoa. That’s crazy stalker shit right there, Kate.”

“That’s what you do to me,” she whispered and bit my chest.

I laughed and tickled her side, right at her ribs. She jumped and screamed, and I rolled her to her back and had her pinned to the bed.

“Don’t mess with me,” I whispered.

“Why? What are you going to do to me?”

“I love you,” I said.

“I love you too, Sawyer,” she said and touched my face.

“I want you again. Right now. I want to spend the rest of my life in this bed with you.”

“I know the feeling.”

“But what do we do now?” I asked.

“Face reality,” she said. “Together.”

“Naked?”

“No.”

“That’s lame.”

“It’ll give you something to look forward to later,” Kate said. She pushed at my chest and I rolled away from her. She threw the covers off her beautiful body, just to tease me.

“You’re evil,” I said.

“Yes I am. And you want every part of me and my wickedness.”

I climbed out of the bed and put my jeans on.

Kate still hadn’t moved.

She tortured me, waiting until I got dressed before she slowly dressed herself. The best part of her getting dressed was that I’d get to undress her again later.

And I’d get to have her for the rest of my life.