After my dad raped me nothing in my head made sense but revenge. All my thoughts and emotions were a controlled by my feeling of being responsibility for my daughter's death, and by the fact that all of the pain I endured under Pytor’s hand was for nothing because my dad still raped me.              

My dad slid off of me and walked out to clean himself up really quick. It didn’t take him long. He was back in that motherfucking room in no time. I pretended to be frozen. I pretended they broke me. Well, they did, but not in the way they thought. The men talked amongst themselves about the whole thing, seemingly calm. I saw Pytor eye me cautiously a few times, not quite believing I was as broken as I pretended to be. He was smart and knew better than to believe I was completely subdued and broken, even if this was my worst nightmare come alive. Second only to Anna’s death.

Soon after Pytor and his men left the room I had my chance. My dad grabbed a bottle of Brandy off the dresser and took a swig. This had to be the room he was staying in. No one else would keep brandy right on their fucking dresser.

While he was turned around I had my chance. They were stupid to keep me untied. I smashed the bedroom lamp over the nightstand. When my dad turned around, surprised, I charged him and stabbed him with a piece of broken glass. I wanted to go haywire and stab him to death. I felt crazy, but I had to play the game I planned to play. Once I stabbed him enough to subdue him I fell over his body and cried. I played the victim. I faked guilt. Guild that was not there. That asshole ruined my life.

Soon Pytor’s men came charging in. They all left when my dad went to clean up. They all seemed out of breath. They stopped in the doorway when they saw my dad’s bloody body and me crying on the floor. I had to give it to myself for my stellar performance. Pytor cursed in Russian and looked at me like he’d never seen me before.

“I have to give it to you Alex. You have officially lost your fucking mind.”

I fake cried harder. I threw myself on the floor ‘out of guilt’... Pytor looked unsure and out of his element. One of his guards approached me. Before I could think, my crazed haze overwhelmed me. I caught him off guard and slit his throat with the glass. Whether it was enough to kill him, I’m not sure, but he was done. Pytor straightened and looked at me with a combination of pride and fear.

“I underestimated you,” he said matter of factly, cocking his head. I watched his other guard carefully. Anticipating his next move, which as of now was to observe me and keep his hand on the other guard’s throat to stop blood loss.

“I’ve underestimated you too fucking much! Never the fuck again. Do you get that?”

“Wow, your guilt disappeared so fast,” he said, still assessing me. There was a hint of smugness to his tone though.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “You are going to let me out of here.”

“What about…”

“NO!” I screeched, cutting him off. “I don’t want to hear what you have to say. Your man is going to die if you keep letting him bleed out. You actually do give a shit about the people who are loyal to you. I know that about you. It’s just the whole rest of the world you don’t give a shit about. You want him to die, you keep holding me here.”

“I can put my other guard on you and then leave. You are an amateur at this Alex. Leave the blackmail and murder to the people who actually know what they are doing.”

Just then my dad gasped for air and Pytor took a step towards me. “Stay back!” I yelled, pathetically holding up my piece of broken glass. Pytor threw his head back and laughed.

“Holy shit Alex,” Pytor laughed again. “Can you not see how pathetic you’ve gotten?”

I took a quick look around. Pytor with his head back laughing, one guard down and bleeding and the other crouched down, holding his wound. I took three quick steps forward and stabbed Pytor with the glass in my hand. I didn’t even see where. I lodged the glass in him, left it there and bolted for the door. The leftover guard would have to choose between grabbing me and getting the glass out of Pytor. He’d likely pick the glass, so I had time. They had underestimated my capacity for revenge, the true degree of anger and hatred I felt. They took everything from me. They made every choice I had ever made seem worthless and stupid.

When I got outside I hid behind a branch realizing I was still freaking naked. I snuck around until I saw a bag of clothes someone had thrown out.

Perfect.

At least the universe was on my side this time.

… Or so I thought.