Kenneth
By the time I leave the office the next day, I’ve got a splitting headache and totally despondent about the lawsuit.
The only good thing is knowing that I’ll be coming home to Jessica as well as Abbie. If anything can make me feel better, it’s my two girls - together.
I was excited when Jessica relayed everything Amanda had said to me - but talking to my lawyers this morning, none of it makes any difference. Jessica didn’t record anything that they said - how could she have - and even if she had, it’s highly questionable whether the court would allow it.
So it’s just another case of he-said-she-said. Or, I guess, in this instance she-said-she-said.
Like this whole god-damn case.
No one came up with a solid strategy for how we’re going to deal with it if I get questioned about dating Jessica, either. It’s not in the official testimony, since it didn’t even exist at that time, but even so…it’s hard to believe they’re not going to bring it up. I was sent those pictures for a reason - even if my legal team is hoping it was just to convince me to settle.
That was about the only strategy anyone had for me today - even my lawyer, who knows how I feel about it. It didn’t exactly do much to reassure me about my chances here.
It’s enough that I’m actually wondering whether I should think about it. It’s not like I care about the money, and now that this is affecting Jessica too…and someone is following me taking pictures of my daughter…fucking hell.
That was the other thing no one could give me an answer on - just how to stop that.
I wanted a restraining order filed, or some sort of protection, or something but…we don’t have any of the information we’d need for that.
As Hamish said, those pictures might have just been a one time thing. Whoever Danielle hired or persuaded to get them - and it could be anyone - might be done with it now.
I’m not sure I believe that. Someone started spreading rumors about the rooms I had when I stayed with Jessica in New York. Someone told my investors all about this lawsuit. Someone - and I have a very good idea who - is trying to make this as difficult as possible for me.
I wanted us to bring that up to the judge - to show him the pictures and accuse her of harassment - but no one else liked that idea. Apparently, I’m too close to this. Too emotional about it to properly weigh up the risks.
Well, who’d have guessed?
I’m still somewhere between rage, frustration and exhaustion when I get home.
As soon as I open the door, the warm scent of lasagna hits me and it’s the first time all day that I feel some of the tightly wound tension. I pause in the doorway and take a deep breath, trying to let that help me put the day behind me. The last thing I want is to bring all that shit home with me.
“Daddy!”
The squeal has me open my eyes again and I see Abbie slipping and sliding down the hall as she runs toward me, the socks on polished wooden flooring making me since.
“Hey, little girl.” I say, smiling and kneeling to scoop her up into my arms. “Have you had a good day?”
“Uhuh.” She nods, then mimics me, saying it a little slower. “Have you had a good day?”
“Mm…I’m having a good day now that I’m back with you.” I say, in a half-truth. “Hey, d’you think dinner is almost ready?”
“Yeah!” She grins, then starts tugging on my hand.
“Okay, okay…” I let her lead me to the kitchen, shrugging off my coat and jacket when I get to the table.
Jessica turns around from the counter, smiling immediately when she sees me.
“That smells amazing.” I tell her, wishing I could walk forward and kiss her the way I’d like to greet her - but that’s a little bit too much for my little girl right now.
Instead, I pick Abbie up and swirl her around, tickling her a little. She squeals and laughs and hugs me - and I get another moment to appreciate little things like that.
The good things. The ones that make everything worth it, even if it’s hard to remember that sometimes.
“Thanks. We were just waiting for you - it’s all ready. Shall I serve up?”
I smile back at her, relaxing just a little bit more. I can’t help it - I can’t imagine a better way to come home.
It feels like family.
The thought strikes me and my smile widens even further. That’s what I want - more than anything.
This is all that matters.
“Yes, thank you.” I nod, then take Abbie over to the sink. “C’mon little girl, you need to wash your hands before dinner.”
“But—” She squirms, but I’ve got the tap on and her hands under it before she can say anything else and I plant a kiss on the top of her head.
“There, all done. Will you go and sit at the table for me, hmm? Be a good girl so I can help Jessica with dinner?”
She looks at me for a moment as I set her down, her head tilted back to consider me in a way that makes me want to laugh. She’s adorable when she’s being serious.
“Mm…’kay.”
“Thank you, sweetie.” I tussle her hair, then turn back to the counter where Jessica is getting food out of the oven.
“Can I help?” I ask, reaching into the drawer and taking out a couple of aspirin. My headache has eased off a little bit, but the dull, throbbing pain is still there.
“No, don’t worry about it.” She glances across at me, then continues in a quieter tone. “How’d it go today?”
I shake my head and reply in the same low voice. “Not how we were hoping. I’ll talk to you about it later.”
Her face drops, but she nods - then watches as I swallow back the aspirin.
“Are you okay?”
I shrug, trying to ease some of the tension in my shoulders.
“Yeah, just a headache. I’m sure it’ll clear up in a bit.” I look over my shoulder at the table and start getting cutlery out. “I’ll get the table ready.”
“Thanks.” She gives me a small smile, but it doesn’t quite cover her concern.
Or my own.
I do my best to ignore it - and I can tell she’s doing the same - as we sit down to dinner with Abbie and I start helping her with her food. After a few minutes, some of the stress eases a little and I’m able to focus on what I really want to. It helps to have Jessica here as well - to let myself get a little distracted by daydreaming about the idea of having this kind of family life back again.
The one I haven’t had since my ex-wife walked out.
By the end of the meal I’m smiling, looking over at Jessica with a warmth and appreciation that lets me forget about all the high-tension discussions today, at least for a little while.
When dinner is over and Abbie is happily lying in the living room coloring - within sight in my open-plan living space, but far enough away that she’s humming under her breath and not paying the slightest attention to us - Jessica and I start clearing up together.
“How was the new Nanny?” I ask, after a few moments. What I really want to talk about - what we both want to talk about - is how the meeting with my lawyers went. But I don’t want to risk that when we could be interrupted at any moment. “Hannah, wasn’t it, today?”
“Yes, Hannah.” Jessica says, then laughs. “Just how much attention have you been paying, if you’re not even sure of her name?”
I grin at her over the dishwasher. “I pay plenty of attention to what’s important…though I have to admit, it helps to have you helping out with all that now.”
“No wonder Kara was so relieved to leave.” Jessica teases, before giving me a reassuring smile. “It seemed to go well. Abbie was a little shy at first, but Hannah is really sweet - I think they’ll get on well.”
“Good.” I smile back, sighing slightly. One less thing to worry about, at least. I walk over to her and kiss her, just briefly, not quite the way I’ve been wanting to do since I got home. “Thank you for finally making progress with all that. It’s much easier, knowing you were here too. I worry less.”
She returns my smile, then glances over my shoulder at where Abbie is lying before pressing forward for a light kiss of her own.
“I missed you.” She murmurs. “It was strange not being at the office.”
“It was strange not having you there.” I nod, then grin. “I had to get my own coffee and everything.”
“No.” She gasps in mock-horror, grinning at me. “Don’t tell me they haven’t found you a temporary replacement yet.”
“I asked them not to. Not yet. I’m not sure I’m quite ready for someone else to be sitting at that desk.”
She laughs, rolling her eyes, then slips out from next to me and clears the last of the things from the table. “Sometimes, I think you’re more of a romantic than I am.”
“Maybe.” I smile, leaning back against the counter to watch her. “So…on that note…shall I take you staying over last night as the first night in your new home?”
I raise an eyebrow at her as she spins back around to face me, laughing disbelief on her face.
“Kenneth!”
“What?” I ask, affecting innocence. “Wasn’t that what we’d agreed?”
“I said I’d think about it.”
“And…”
“Well…” She bites her lip, and I don’t miss the way she glances over at Abbie. “We still don’t know…”
I smile at her, pulling her in towards me. “It will be fine. C’mon. I’ll show you.”
I take her hand and start walking over to Abbie, then glance back. “If that’s the only thing stopping you?”
She pauses for a moment, then nods, almost shyly. “If she’s okay…then yeah. Yeah. Okay.”
I grin. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.
“Hey, little girl.” I call out as we step past the couch. “Jessica and I were just talking about something.”
She twists around from where she’s lying on the floor to look at us and I pick her right up the floor, spinning her around and making her shriek before settling her on my hip. I grin at her, unable to help my sudden mood.
“You know, sweetie, I really like Jessica.” I say, bouncing her a little. “And I really like it when she’s here. What do you think? Do you like it when she’s here?”
She looks over toward Jessica, who gives her an encouraging smile, even though I’m pretty sure she’s squirming inside.
“Mm…yeah!” She nods. “Jessica is nice.”
“That’s what I think.” I nod back at her. “I was thinking it would be even nicer if she could be here all the time. What do you think, baby girl? Would you like Jessica to come and stay with us, too?”
She looks back and forwards between us, her little face scrunching up a little bit - and I have one heart-stopping moment where I’m not sure this will go my way.
“Like a…sleepover?” She asks and I nod.
“Yeah, like that, but…all the time. So it would be you, and me, and Jessica. All three of us together.” I brush her hair back from her face. “I think that sounds really nice.”
She looks up at me for a moment, and I wonder how this is going to go - but then she nods up and down, her head moving with enough force I’m surprised she doesn’t get dizzy.
“Okay.” She says, easily enough.
My smile widens and the tension all flows out of me in a rush. I play with her, holding her up above my head until she’s giggling and all her little limbs are waving around before bringing her down and letting her squeal and wrap her arms around my neck.
“I love you, baby girl - and you know, we’ll have lots of special Daddy time together. Just us. I promise.” I kiss her on the forehead and she tightens her arms around me.
“Love you too, Daddy.”
I smile as I set her back down on the ground, tousling her hair as she goes back to coloring without another glance in our direction.
‘See?’ I mouth at Jessica, who rolls her eyes at me again - but her cheeks are flushed and I can see the smile tugging at her lips.
We spend the next hour before Abbie’s bedtime as the three of us, playing with Abbie in a way that fills my heart almost until it’s bursting.
This is what I want. This is what’s right, and good, and everything we need.
This is what Abbie has been missing.
At bedtime, I take Abbie upstairs and help her with her bath and pajamas before reading her a story. By the time I’m finished, she’s almost asleep, but I still sit there for several moments, just looking at her and wondering how I got this lucky.
This is all that’s truly important. Abbie and Jessica. The family we could build together.
“I love you, Abbie.” I whisper softly, stroking her hair. “I’m so glad you like Jessica, too.”
She half-mumbles something and I’m not even sure it’s in response to me, but I smile anyway.
“Goodnight, sweetheart. I’ll see you in the morning.”
When I get back downstairs, Jessica is waiting with a bottle of wine open on the living room table.
She looks up at me, smiling gently as she pours us a couple of glasses.
“It looked like you could use it.” She says, by way of explanation. “And I thought maybe we should celebrate.”
I join her, finally pulling her into my arms the way I’ve wanted to do all evening - leaning down to kiss her deeply, our mouths and tongues tangling together until I feel like I’ve finally come home. When I draw back, we’re both breathless and I can feel my half-hard cock starting to press against my slacks. I don’t know how she does this to me all the time, but she does. I can’t get enough of her.
She hands me a glass of wine and I smile.
“I like the idea of that second reason a whole lot more than the first.” I clink it against her glass and run my hand down her back, settling on her hip as I look at her. “To the future.”
She smiles too, echoing the sentiment before we both take a sip.
“I’m glad Abbie was okay with everything.” She says quietly, as we take a seat together on the couch.
I pull her closer against me, wanting to feel every curve of her body pressed against mine - and she brings her legs up to tuck under her, leaning her head against my shoulder.
“She was always going to be. It might take her a while longer to realize it, but I think she likes you just as much as I do.”
“I…I really like her too, but…we’ll see, okay?” She murmurs. “I don’t want…there shouldn’t be any pressure, alright?”
“No.” I kiss her head, stroking her shoulder. “There’s no pressure. For either of you. I’m just…I’m really happy about all this, Jessica. More happy than I ever thought I’d be again.”
She looks up at me, smiling, and the light from it seems like it’s reflected in her eyes. “Me too.”
I lean down to kiss her, tasting the wine on her lips and starting to think about doing a whole lot more than just kissing.
She pulls back before I can act on the thought - and when she looks up at me, the edge of concern on her expression tells me what her next question is going to be.
“So…do you want to talk about it?” She asks, her hand trailing patterns over my thigh. “What I told you about Amanda Speed didn’t help?”
I sigh, some of the warmth and contentment disappearing as I think back to my meeting today. Jessica deserves to know what’s going on, but just for a brief moment, I’m disappointed to feel my illusions of how perfect everything is shattering.
“No.” I say, reluctantly. “It’s good to know - and some of the angles you mentioned, the reasons she’s got, those are definitely things we can mention if we question her in court - but without any evidence…we can’t prove she’s lying.”
Jessica bites her lip, playing with it as she sighs. “I’m sorry, Kenneth. I’d hoped…”
“Me too.”
“How about the rest of it? How is the case looking?”
I wince, not sure I want to admit the answer to that - even to myself - but Jessica is the one person who I can really talk to. I’ve told her things I’ve never told anyone else, not since my ex-wife left, and I’ve always felt better for being able to share it. She deserves to know, too. It’s just…I hate that she’s caught up in all this.
“Not good.” I finally say. “The only real advice anyone had for me was to settle. I mean, Patrick’s prepared a case - and he’s even working with a whole legal team to try and fine-tune it now - and we know what we’re going to do in court. It’s just that no one can tell me it’s going to work. Hell, I’m starting to doubt anyone believes it’s going to work. Kelly is panicking about my public image and the way this could impact the firm, Patrick doesn’t have a good answer to how it will look that I’m dating you now—”
“Is it because of us? Is that why no one thinks you’re going to win?” She looks up at me and it’s impossible not to see the hurt there.
“Hey, no, it’s not like that…” I lean down to kiss her and she sinks into it with me, the physical comfort something we both need right now. “It’s just…one more thing. And I wouldn’t change any of it for a heartbeat, you know, not even the stupid risks and crazy impatience we had. It brought you here right now - that’s all that really matters to me.”
“I know, I just…” She sighs softly. “What’s the plan, though? What are you going to say about us, if they ask, Kenneth?”
“That we’re dating. No one else had any other suggestions, so we’re going with mine. I’ll tell them exactly what happened, if they want to know - that I love you, I used to love you and still do, and once we realized that we knew you needed to find another job…but we started dating anyway. A bit prematurely, but it’s love. What can you do?”
She laughs, the soft sound unexpected and warm, making me feel just a little bit better.
“So you’re just going to hope the judge is a romantic?” She grins, leaning up to kiss me.
“Something like that.” I murmur, my mouth meeting hers.
The feeling of being with her overwhelms me - of seeing her looking up at me with such a warm, compassionate expression…full of all the longing and hope I share…
This is everything. This is the only thing that truly matters.
The thought hits me and by the time we part, I finally say the thing that’s been nagging at the back of my mind all day. Longer, even. Ever since I got those pictures.
“I’ve started thinking maybe I should settle, Jessica.”
She blinks, pulling back for a moment to look at me with wide eyes.
“Wait, what?”
She knows how I feel about that - everything I’ve said all along. But now…
“I spoke to Patrick today. There’s no way to stop them following me, or you, or all of us, Abbie included. Whoever took those photos…I don’t know. It was okay when it was just me, but this is affecting all of us now—”
“Kenneth—”
“No, really. I don’t care about the money. I never have. I just felt dirty thinking about settling a case for something I absolutely didn’t do, that repulses me to even think about. I didn’t want to be one of those people. I didn’t do it and I wanted to prove it - but all that really is, is pride. And the idea that you’ve both been dragged into this because of my pride—”
“Kenneth, no, it’s not like that.” She sits up, looking at me with alarm, her hand resting on my arm. “That’s exactly what she wants. That’s why she took those pictures. To bully you into giving her what she wants - probably because she knows she can’t even win in court—”
“That’s not what my lawyers think.”
“Well, screw them.” She shakes her head. “You don’t deserve this - and you definitely don’t deserve to feel like you have to settle this god-damn case.”
“It’s the logical thing to do.” I sigh. “That’s what everyone’s been telling me all along. I just refused to listen.”
“And I know that - and I know why. I agree with you. I have all along. You can’t give up because of me - because of us.” She looks at me, eyes shining. “I love you Kenneth - and I know you. Would you really be able to live with yourself if you did that?”
I hesitate, her words striking straight into the part of me that feels so damn uneasy about this idea. The thought of letting Danielle win - of running away from this accusation.
Would I be able to live with myself?
I look back at her, meeting her gaze and needing her to understand.
“I might not win this thing, Jessica.” I say, my voice barely louder than a whisper. “What happens if I lose?”
“You’ll still have stood up and denied it.” She says, her own voice softening as she leans into me. “Whatever the judgment is…you’ll know that. She’ll know it. I don’t know, Kenneth, it’s your decision and if you’re worried about your company or what it might mean for all of that if you lose…I get that. I just don’t want to see how much it would hurt you.”
I sigh deeply, closing my eyes and feeling so torn up inside about what the right thing to do is.
“I’ve been fighting it since the beginning.” I finally say. “But it’s not just been fighting Danielle - it’s everyone else too. My lawyers. My PR head. My investors. No one else seems to think this is the right thing to do. There’s only so long I can hear that, over and over, before I start wondering if I’m being stupid, and selfish, and…now that you’re involved too…”
“I don’t care.” She says, shaking her head. “I don’t care what they say about me in court, or what anyone thinks. I know you didn’t do this - and, okay, maybe I’m being naive about it and other people would think it stupid, but I have to believe the truth will come out.”
She takes my hand and rests her other one on my thigh, squeezing softly.
“I think it’s the right thing, even if no one else does.” She whispers. “But it doesn’t matter what I think. Just don’t make me the reason for you to give up now. What do you think is right? Really?”
I look back at her, seeing the strength of her confidence and love, and it’s enough to reach me through all the despair and doubt of today. Something in that determined gaze sparks the same fire I felt when I first received the lawsuit - and when I saw those pictures.
The need to fight back. To make things right. To refute it, once and for all.
Whatever it means.
“I can’t settle.” I finally say. “That’s what I think. It’s not who I am.”
She smiles, a light that spreads all the way across her face.
“Thank god.” She leans in and kisses me, shifting around so she’s sitting on my lap. My hands come down to her hips and I breathe everything about her in. “I didn’t want to watch what that might do to you. You know, you talk about your pride as a bad thing sometimes, Kenneth…but I want you to know, I love it. It’s who you are. It’s what makes you so very special.”
I pull back to look at her, my eyes drinking in every part of her expression.
“I love you, Jessica. Thank you…I can’t believe I ever forgot how much I needed you.”
Her lips curve up into a smile. “Whatever happens with the case, it’s all going to be okay. Just like whatever happens with my Mom. And everything else. It has to be. We’ll get through it together. That’s all that matters.”
“We will.” I say, and for the first time today I actually believe it. “You’re right. Whatever happens, I have you - and that’s all I’ve ever really needed.”
“Now…shall we celebrate the moving in thing properly?” She raises an eyebrow at me and I grin, all those tumultuous feelings finally starting to slide away - and feeling like they might be gone for good.
“I’ve been waiting all evening for that.” I say, pulling her mouth into mine and tangling our bodies together the way I’ve wanted since I first walked in the door.