Jessica
“Pan!” Abbie giggles, covering her mouth with her hands. “That’s a silly name!”
I crouch down beside where she’s bouncing on her feet, looking excitedly at my cat - who is busy sniffing around the other side of the room semi-suspiciously.
“Yeah, I guess it does sound kind of silly.” I smile at her, laughing. “It’s his nickname - short for ‘Panther’. Do you know what a panther is, Abbie?”
She shakes her head, looking back at me with wide eyes - but with lots of little glances back to Pan.
“It’s a biiig cat, like a lion or a tiger. And it’s all black, just like Pan over there. Only he’s a little bit smaller.” I pull out my phone. “Here, I’ll show you.”
I search for pictures of panthers and set the phone in front of her to look at.
“See? Big, black cat.” I smile. “They’re fierce predators and they catch all sorts of other animals - but my little Pan? Well, he just likes to think he is.”
“Ooohhhh” Abbie says, seemingly entranced by the images of panthers as she looks between them and Pan. “Panther!”
She grins and runs over toward Pan, who takes one look at her and darts to the other side of the room. Abbie giggles again and makes to start chasing him - until Kenneth scoops her up.
“Hold up there, little girl. You need to be careful, you know.” Kenneth says soothingly, settling her on his hip. “Pan has never been here before - he’s probably quite scared. If you’re going to go near him, you need to be very, very careful, okay? And do everything Jessica says.”
I make soothing noises as I slowly approach Pan - who doesn’t seem at all sure about what’s going on. I don’t blame him and I gently pick him up, stroking and murmuring to him.
“It’s okay, little guy.” Slowly, he relaxes a little in my arms, purring softly - but he still keeps looking around. “It’ll take a bit of time to get used to it here, but I think you’ll like it very much. I know I do.”
Once he seems much more settled, I walk him slowly over to Abbie.
“Would you like to meet Pan?” I ask her, keeping my tone quiet.
She nods, then whispers back at me. “Yes, please.”
I can’t help but smile. Between her Dad’s comments and my tone, she seems to have picked it up well enough.
“I think he’d like to meet you. Here.” I come closer. “Do you want to stroke him? Just do it nice and slowly, gently, that’s it…”
Slowly, we introduce them to each other and Abbie takes everything I say very seriously - even as she seems absolutely fascinated with the cat in my arms. Pan behaves admirably well, considering his new surroundings and his natural occasionally-surly disposition.
When I finally put him down, he stays around us and weaves in and out of my legs before going back to explore the room.
“He’s exploring.” I tell Abbie. “This is all new to him, you know. He’s going to need a bit of time to get used to it, but maybe you could help me look after him the next few days? Make him feel comfortable?”
“Yes, yes, yes.” She nods, barely looking at me as she watches him. “I like Pan!”
I smile. “I think he likes you too, you know.”
“Can we stay and watch? Can we?”
I laugh softly, looking over at Kenneth. “I don’t see why not.”
Kenneth and I talk softly as Abbie sits, fascinated, watching Pan walk around the room and into and out of the cat furnishings we’ve bought for him.
It seems crazy to me that Kenneth has enough space that my cat can have a whole room, just to himself, but it certainly makes this easier. Kenneth’s house is far too big for me to feel comfortable just letting Pan loose in it - in a new place, he might go and hide somewhere and I’d be worried I wouldn’t see him again. This room has a door to the outside, with a newly-installed cat flap, but we’re keeping that locked for now.
We’ll wait until he’s used to being here before we let him outside or show him any of the rest of the house.
I still can’t believe how easy it’s been to move everything I need over here. Pan was the most complicated, but there was no way I could move without him - and somehow, just having him here makes me feel a lot more like this is home.
Eventually, he seems to settle, and I reach into the box of things we brought over for him to find a ping-pong ball, giving it to Abbie with a smile.
“Here, Abbie - try throwing that across the room.”
“Whyyyy?”
“You’ll find out if you throw it.” I tell her, my smile widening.
She gives me an almost suspicious look, but turns around and does what I say - throwing it across to the other side of the room. Directly in front of Pan.
Just like that, everything about him changes - and he’s racing after it, batting it away with every attempt to ‘catch’ it and darting all over the room. Abbie squeals and then dissolves into helpless giggles watching him.
She stands up and runs around to see him better - and this time I don’t even stop her. With the game he’s in the middle of, I doubt Pan will notice it.
Kenneth puts an arm around my shoulders, leaning in to brush his lips over mine. He’s been doing that a lot more recently, even with Abbie around, and although I still feel slightly nervous, she doesn’t seem the slightest bit bothered by it. It’s more encouraging than I’d like to admit to myself.
“See?” He says with a smile. “Nothing to worry about. With Pan moved in, I think she’s barely going to notice that you live here too. Or even that I do.”
I laugh, smiling up at him and settling happily against his firm chest, watching the little girl and lively cat play.
“You know what? I think you’re right.”
* * *
We spend the rest of the day getting everything else unpacked and sorted - and spending time playing with Abbie. It’s a little bit strange to think I’m going to be here all the time now and that I’m going to get to spend so much time with them both, but I love it too.
In a way, it’s not too different from when I spent a week here looking after Abbie. It’s just that back then, I felt outside looking in - now, I really feel a part of their little family. The way, if I admit to myself, I wanted to be since I first met Abbie.
I’m not her Mom, of course, and it’s early days. I don’t even want to try to be. I just want to be there for her - for both of them. I want to have fun and play and help Kenneth out taking care of her. I think they both need that - and even more surprisingly, maybe I do as well.
“You know, I guess this is one good thing to come out of the lawsuit.”
Kenneth says as we’re lying together in bed later on, after Abbie has gone to sleep.
I turn toward him, my leg slipping over his as my hand circles around his chest. His head tilts toward me and I lean up for a kiss, our mouths meeting slowly, lingering. Taking our time, something we haven’t done nearly often enough.
“Moving in together?” I ask, murmuring it against his lips.
His arm comes under my neck, pulling me in closer and he nods.
“I might even say it was worth it, to get you here with me. All the time. Everything I always wanted.”
I laugh. “Don’t say that. That lawsuit is definitely something we can do without. I think we would have moved in together eventually, anyway.”
“Mm, of course.” He says, with such an arrogant confidence that I get a little shiver of heat go through me. The man did always know what he wanted - and that he’d get it. “But if it had taken a few months longer…a few weeks longer…a few days…well…I think I might trade the stress for the chance to have this sooner.”
“Idiot.” I mutter, but the passion in his eyes warms every part of me.
He rolls toward me, cupping my head in one hand as he kisses me deeper - drawing it out until I can feel my pussy tightening a little, the ache that I always seem to have for him deepening with the suggestion.
“Your idiot.” He says with a smile, kissing the corners of my eyes.
I don’t know what it is about this man that makes me feel so completely, helplessly in love, but I think it must have something to do with this. The effortless way he has of making me feel like the most amazing, special woman in the world.
“God, Kenneth…”
“You know what else I like?” He asks, propping himself up on an elbow as he lets one hand trail between my breasts, under them, sensitizing the skin and making me want to arch into his touch.
“What?” I say, slightly breathless, having a pretty good idea from the way he’s looking at me.
“Watching you spending time with Abbie.”
I blink. That was totally not where I thought his mind was going. I raise an eyebrow, and he continues, his voice a deep murmur that doesn’t quite fit what he’s talking about.
“You’re so good with her, Jessie. The things you say, the things you show her…she’s very lucky, you know. She’s needed someone like you in her life for so long.”
I smile at him, raising a hand to the semi-rough stubble at his cheek, stroking through it.
“I’m lucky too.” I murmur.
That I get that with Abbie. And that I get him.
“I mean it, though.” He says, seizing my wrist and holding it there. “She’s been so much happier with you staying over this week. Even Kara leaving doesn’t seem to have affected her the way I thought it would. I’m going to feel so much better knowing you’re here while she’s getting to know Hannah.”
I laugh slightly, leaning in to kiss him.
“Yeah? I should have known you were just asking me to move in to deal with your hang-ups about Nannies…maybe I shouldn’t be looking for a job at all.”
I say it as a joke, but I don’t miss the sudden intensity in his expression - or the slow, creeping grin across his face.
“Ohh no, don’t you start looking at me like that…”
“What?” He asks innocently, desire curling around his voice. “You were the one that said it.”
I shake my head as he pushes me back onto the bed, moving over me for another kiss as one hand glides down my body. It makes me want to gasp and moan, my pussy already thrumming and ready, just from lying naked with him.
“You’d be great at it, you know.” He murmurs in my ear, making it sound so much like dirty talk that my mind and body get confused long enough to actually listen. “Have you never thought that might be nice…or about having some of our own…”
I swing my head around to look at him, shock breaking through the arousal.
“Our own?” I repeat, dumbly.
He grins. “You’ve never thought about it? Having kids one day?”
I blink, totally startled at the sudden question…but something about the idea seeping into me anyway. Kenneth and I had never really talked about all that, when we were younger. We were young, I guess, and I had enough issues with my parents that I’ve no idea what I would have thought about having kids if he’d asked.
“You never seemed to want…I don’t ever remember having this conversation before.”
He shrugs. “For a long time, all I was thinking about was my career. But once Abbie came along…well…raising her alone, it wasn’t something I thought about much. But now…I’m not sure I’m quite ready to stop there.”
He leans down, nuzzling at my ear and making me shiver before he whispers into it. “I’d like a baby with you, Jessica.”
I shudder, without even realizing why, and he climbs fully on top of me, taking my mouth in his and stroking my breasts as I arch up into him.
“I don’t know…I haven’t thought…”
And fuck it’s hard to think with him doing all this. God…is the thought of that getting him excited or something?
I open my eyes, meeting his gaze and trying to answer at least some of his question. I reach up to the back of his neck, my fingers playing in his hair.
“I don’t know, Kenneth.” I whisper. “I didn’t think the whole babies thing was really for me, you know, just…didn’t really understand kids. But since I’ve gotten to know Abbie…”
The smile that comes over his face is one of the most beautiful things I think I’ve ever seen.
“I don’t know.” I say again, and lean forward to kiss him. “Not…not for a while. But…but maybe?”
I don’t try to hide some of the hope that seems to creep into my voice at the end there - not just for the idea of a baby, but the future in general. Everything we could have together. It seems crazy to imagine it now - and I know I still have so many things I need to work through. I’m probably going to freak out at the idea of such a big step with someone, but…if I’m going to do it…I can’t imagine being ready for anyone else.
Just Kenneth.
With him, anything seems possible.
Whatever I just said, it seems to be enough for him and he leans down to kiss me hard, his tongue tangling with mine as he explores my mouth with the kind of fervor that has everything inside me tightening in anticipation.
“I won’t say anything else.” He says roughly, against my mouth. “But I know you’re going to be thinking about it. Just like I will…”
Before I can respond, he’s working his way down my body, kissing and licking and nipping at my skin. He suckles on my breasts for a while, his fingers caressing my thighs and making me shiver and moan softly. I’m getting much better at making just the barest of sounds with Abbie in a room just down the hall, but whatever I do some always escape. It’s just too hot being here with him for anything else.
This time, though, he makes it obvious he’s going to take his time - his hands and mouth moving between my breasts and pussy, teasing me, playing with me and winding me up until I’m not sure how much more I can take anymore. My nipples are stiff and hard, every slightest touch going straight down to my pussy - and when he tugs and tweaks on them, I have to fight not to let out the deep moans that want to rock through me.
He bites my hip gently, sucking at it and the next time his mouth moves lower I wrap my legs around his head, drawing him in and wanting more as I clutch the bedsheets with my hands.
He takes the hint, his hands settling over my hips and keeping me pressed against him as he starts slowly teasing my soft entrance. I’m moist and wet and I can feel it slipping out of me as his tongue teases my inner folds, flicking up to play with my clit and then back down to push into my pussy itself. It makes me squirm and pulse against him, already thinking of having something bigger and harder inside me - being taken more roughly than any of this slow, sensual teasing.
He’s unperturbed though, taking long slow licks and building that heat inside me with a steady rhythm that I think might drive me crazy. He brings me right to the edge and then back again, time and again, slowing the whole thing right down until I’m panting and desperate and it feels like every nerve is shaking and on edge, just waiting for that moment…that explosion.
I’m whimpering softly and I know he hears - but I also know how much he’s enjoying this. We’ve never taken this much time over anything. It’s never felt like we’ve had the time. But now…I’m here.
Truly here.
And I’m not going to leave again.
It’s not a lust-filled quickie in the office because we simply can’t keep our hands off each other. It’s not concerned about me having to sneak off to the spare bedroom because of Abbie. It’s just…perfect.
And totally infuriating.
“Kenneth…Kenneth…please.”
He chuckles against me and that just makes me buck up into him harder. He still doesn’t increase the pace, driving me gently towards the edge of what feels like the biggest build-up I’ve ever had, my body so ready, so there and as he flicks over my clit and stays there this time, his tongue suddenly lashing back and forth, wrapping around it and pushing me past that edge I’ve been flirting with for so long…
I throw my arm over my mouth to muffle the scream, arching and bucking into him as he keeps going, his tongue working harder now as I clench and spasm and press against him, driving me up and over and then up even further, waves of pleasure crashing over me and making every nerve light up with the feeling.
When my legs finally relax from their position clenched around his head, falling away to the side, he shifts up on top of me, looking at me with those deep, dangerous eyes. Full of warmth and lust and need. It makes me shiver all over again and I reach for him.
He obliges easily, coming to settle over me and kissing me deeply, murmuring how just how fucking good it was to taste me for so long. I can taste myself on his lips, too, the musky scent hitting me at the same time. I’m still arching up into him, rubbing myself against his thigh as I continue to spasm, aftershocks making me want more.
I know from the look in his eyes I’m going to get more too. He takes a few moments to kiss me, to touch and stroke and tell me just how fucking perfect I am…and then I can feel him pressed right against my entrance. I still feel so warm and wet down there, so ready for him and I slide myself against his thick, hard length.
“Please.” I whisper again, and he kisses me harder.
“Always.” He breathes, reaching down to line himself up…and then thrusting deep inside me, one stroke taking him all the way in.
I gasp, my eyes flying open as I spread my legs wider, his cock stretching me and sliding across all those delicious nerve endings, the friction making me moan as he starts moving almost immediately. I close my eyes in complete bliss. This was what I wanted.
This.
I don’t realize I’ve said it out loud until he responds.
“This.” He murmurs into my ear, nibbling and kissing it. “Our life, Jessica. Together.”
Just the words make me shudder and I arch up into him, our bodies moving in time as he starts that slow build back to the blissful place I’m still partly floating in. His hand takes mine, our fingers interlocking as he takes it slow - takes his time - and it doesn’t feel like anything else we’ve done. The desire is there, the heat and passion and need.
But this is more.
“I love you, Jessica. More than I can ever say.”
“I love you, too.” I whisper.
“Thank you for coming back to me. God, Jessie, I can’t believe you did.”
“Me neither.” I say quietly, too far gone to imagine what life might have been like if it had never happened - if we’d never come back to this.
As he increases the pace, just a little, thrusting deep every time and letting the heat within me slowly rise with every stroke, I realize that’s what’s different. That’s what this is.
Love.
Tonight, we’re not fucking.
This is making love.
I give myself over to it with everything I have, feeling his touch against my skin, hearing the way our breathing rises in tune with each other and tasting every part of us mingled together as I kiss him. The sensation and feeling of it all overwhelms me and even as he drives me further and further towards the edge, my pussy trembling and pulsing with the perfect feeling of fullness, I feel my eyes burning too.
Every part of me burning for him. So lost in what we are - together.
“I love you, Kenneth.” I breathe, and he moves just a little bit faster.
My body responds in kind, the heat and tension that’s built in me again feeling ready to let go, ready to fly off this cliff with him.
“I love you too, Jessica. I need you. My love. My life. My everything.”
He takes my mouth in his just as he starts thrusting harder, faster, lighting up every part of me until I can feel him pulsing and groaning and grunting against me.
I keep saying his name. I can’t help it. All I can see is the light in his eyes, the need in him that matches my own and then - he slams into me, hard, and just like that I’m gone. I feel my pleasure rocking through me, slower than the first time, breaking over me and letting me feel every delicious piece of it as my body shudders and I feel the same response from him. Warmth fills me, shooting deep inside me and his head drops to my neck, gasping with the same rawness as me as my body seems to explode once…and then again…and then again…the hot rush of it hitting me as everything releases.
I cling to him, our bodies tangled together as aftershocks run through us, as I try to keep him inside me for as long as possible - wanting more, impossibly more. Wanting to be a part of him forever.
We press closer together as he pulls the covers over us, whispering my name and holding me tight.
The last thing I think as I drift off in his arms, is that I never want this to end.
That nothing can ever break this.
Not even the court case that’s coming this week.