Chapter 5
Gage
“What?”
I shifted uncomfortably in my chair while Amber’s question echoed loudly in the dining room. It’d been years since I had seen Amber last. Her high school graduation was the last time I had seen her briefly in passing. Back then, she had been a petite thing on the cusp of womanhood. A nerdy teenager still who enjoyed her books more than anything else in the world.
The Amber Roselynn sitting across from me was no longer a teenager. No, she was a woman, and a fucking irresistible one, too. Even dressed in a pair of old sweat pants that hung low on her slender hips and the tattered blue shirt she wore with no bra, judging from her nipples poking through the fabric, she was still a walking wet dream of temptation. Her blonde locks were pushed back from her face in aggravation. Those red lips were stretched into a thin frown that bordered on pure irritation and disbelief.
Maybe it was a bad idea to have Amber come stay with Lily and me for an entire month. Shame flooded through me hotly when I felt my cock partially harden in arousal. This was Beau’s daughter. I’d rip any older man’s dick off if he looked at Lily the way I looked at Amber now, but this wasn’t the shy teenager I was used to, sitting across from me. She was an adult, a young and vibrant woman with a child. Things had changed drastically.
“I’m serious,” Beau said. “I can’t trust you alone here, Amber. I’m worried about where your head is at.”
“My head is just fine,” Amber snapped, glancing over at me. “I don’t need Gage to look after me. I’ve been looking after myself for a while now, in case you forgot.”
“And look where it got you, Amber. I’m not asking him to control what you do. I’m just asking him to keep an eye on you until your mother is back.”
I felt a stab of pity to see that look of humiliation on Amber’s face. I remembered feeling the same way after Marcie’s death. No matter how much I insisted that I was fine, that I just needed the time to grieve, everyone always looked at me like I was incapable of taking care of myself and Lily.
“Maybe I should let you two talk privately,” I said, rising from the chair with my cup of coffee in hand. “I don’t want to intrude—”
“You’re not intruding,” Beau spoke up briskly. “Amber, mind your manners here. This is a long-time friend of ours. You and I both can trust him with anything in the world.”
Color filled Amber’s face at that.
“I wasn’t implying that I didn’t trust him,” she said. “I just don’t need someone babysitting me through this.”
“I have to agree with Amber on that,” I said. “If she isn’t comfortable with this idea, I’m certainly not going to force anything here. She’s an adult.”
Amber offered a strained smile of appreciation in my direction. Holding my coffee cup in hand, I watched as Amber gathered Ethan from her father’s side to encourage him into the living room.
“Go on, sweetheart,” she said, steering him towards the flat screen. “Let’s find something for you to watch while Mommy and Papa talk about a few things.”
The living room doors slid shut with more force than necessary. I looked over at Beau as he folded up his newspaper with an exhausted sigh, and I tried to contain my mixed feelings about the situation. How could I tell him that I felt uncomfortable? This was a man that I trusted my own life and income with. He was a fucking politician, too, of all things. Yet, I sensed nothing besides sincere concern for his daughter’s well-being when he looked up at me.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t think she would react with hostility. It’s a different reaction compared to her sitting around here all day with a blank look on her face.”
“She’s going through a divorce,” I pointed out. “And it was abusive, Beau. Things like that don’t happen to heal overnight. I know you want to do what’s best for Amber and your grandbaby, but you should’ve at least warned her about this.”
“I don’t expect things to be taken care of overnight. I know that this is more tough than love, but think of your daughter coming home with bruises all over her arms.” Anger glittered in Beau’s eyes as he stood up from his own chair to gaze out at the snowy hillside his mansion and ranch was built on. “I have to push her forward. I’ve provided counseling, mentally and legally, but she has to snap out of it for her child’s sake. That’s part of being a parent, putting aside your own shit to get them through life.”
He had me there. Raychelle had been the one to point out that I wasn’t the only one struggling with grief after Marcie’s death. Everyone else was, too, but so was Lily. She needed a strong figure to guide her through everything.
“I can’t force her to stay with me,” I said. “If Amber doesn’t want to go, then we can’t force her to come with me. Just keep that in mind, Beau.”
The doors opened again to reveal Amber. Sliding them shut behind her, Amber crossed her arms over her perky breasts to gaze defiantly at Beau with a frown tugging at her lips. I found my gaze flicking down to where her arms rested on the swell of her breasts. That rush of lust went through me again, and I twisted myself around to look back out the window. What is wrong with me? Has it been that long since I felt pleasure?
Yes. It had been that long. I hadn’t even thought of sex since Marcie. I couldn’t bear the guilt of it, but now all those feelings were coming back with Amber standing there. Unease crept through the back of my head. I was never the type of man to even think of crossing taboo lines. The type of lines that caused scandal and gossip. I prided myself on keeping my dick out of bad waters—even through college when sleeping with women back then had been a natural instinct to follow.
Then, Marcie had come along with her sweet nature that all school teachers seemed to have. It had been love at first sight, too. The type of love that would make any man surrender his grazing rights, and marriage had followed. Nothing had changed over the years, either, even after Lily was born. I never once felt that need to look at another woman with Marcie sleeping next to me at night.
Those unwanted feelings were coming up with Amber, and that made it feel even worse. I couldn’t even bear to look at Beau, who trusted me without a thought with his daughter’s well-being.
“I’m not going,” Amber said firmly. “I’m capable of looking out for myself and Ethan here while you return to D.C. I thought that was the original plan in the first place.”
Beau turned to face Amber, meeting her angry gaze with a calm one. “I know that you can, Amber. You have done a good job at raising Ethan, but you need to get out for a little bit.”
“I don’t need to do anything. I’m perfectly fine.”
“An adventure to Montana would do you some good,” Beau continued. “Some fresh mountain air and peace away from the bustle of the city here might help get your head on straight again.”
“I wasn’t aware that it wasn’t on straight in the first place,” she said.
I had to give it to Amber. A smirk tugged at my lips when I caught the exasperated expression on Beau’s face. She had inherited her father’s rather annoying tendency to argue without any sign of giving up easily. It was never wise to get in a battle of words with Beau, but his one and only daughter wasn’t afraid to back down from a battle, either.
“I’m going to get more coffee,” I said before the argument could escalate more. “I’ll be in the kitchen.”
I found the head of Beau’s security, Joe Fields, sitting in a breakfast nook with a cup of coffee and a newspaper as well. I took a seat wordlessly across from him after pouring myself another generous amount of coffee.
“Are they going at each other?” Joe asked, lowering his paper to look at me with a chuckle. “I can hear the start of the argument from in here. Is Ethan in there with them?”
“Watching television in the living room,” I replied, sitting back against the warm cushions. “Have they been arguing much since Amber has been here?”
“Not like what you would think. Amber didn’t come out of her room for a few weeks after arriving here covered up in bruises. She took her meals up there, and only came down to help Ethan with things throughout the day.” Joe smiled grimly at me from the top of his coffee mug. “I don’t blame the poor girl, though. The media has hounded her over this whole thing. Especially now that Scott went to the media to blame her family for their marriage dissolving. He doesn’t want to be pegged as the villain here.”
My fingers tightened my coffee mug. I had done some private research into Scott’s background, and while his record was squeaky clean, there were occasional reports of disturbances with the women he dated previously. Nothing ever went to court. No charges were filed. The recent charges, divorce proceedings, and child custody with Amber were the only headlines at the moment, while Beau’s PR team came up with a plan to combat the headlines. Beau raised his family with strong religious values that many right-leaning residents looked up to. Something like divorce was considered a scandal.
“There are always two sides to a story,” I remarked darkly. “It’s too bad that the media and others can’t see through that. I don’t blame Amber for wanting to hide out away from it all, either.”
“Me neither. I chase away reporters at the gate. This is really considered scandal?” Joe’s face stretched into a disgusted grimace. “I can’t believe it, to be honest. The media has turned it around on Amber because she had the guts to leave a husband who was abusing her.”
“No shit,” I said. “That’s the general opinion I got from what I read last night.”
“It’s a good thing what you’re doing, though,” Joe said. “Amber needs to get out and away from the city. Get her head cleared out, you know? It’s a lot of pressure to figure your life out when you have the eye of the public peering at you through a camera.”
Beau came through the kitchen doors with his plate of food in hand. He scraped the banana peels in the trash before setting the plate in the sink to be washed.
“Amber is upstairs getting packed,” he said, his face devoid of emotion. “She’ll be ready within the next hour, Gage, to go up to Montana with you.”
“Right,” I said, and my throat clenched. It was too late now to say that I didn’t feel comfortable with this arrangement anymore. Not because of Amber’s past, but because of how I felt. I wanted to help her any way that I could. “Are you sure that this is going to be the right thing, Beau? I don’t want Amber to feel uncomfortable coming with me all the way in Montana.”
“She’ll be fine,” Beau replied as he took a seat next to Joe in the breakfast nook. “She needs to get out of Colorado Springs, with the cameras everywhere. I’m letting my team handle this while I’m gone. They know how to handle troubling headlines.”
“Some fresh air away from public scrutiny will do her some good,” Joe added in agreement. He took a sip of his coffee before looking over at me. “I’ll go down the driveway when the three of you go to chase away reporters. Were they down there when you drove up?”
“In their vans,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “They don’t want to brave the cold unless they have to.”
“What about security at your house?” Joe asked, looking to Beau who seemed unconcerned with that. “I know that you’re a cyber defense specialist, but I can have a few guys out there, protecting your house if you need it.”
I exchanged an amused look with Beau. “You clearly don’t know me, Joe. I have a room filled with my own ammunition and guns.” I winked at the older man roguishly who grinned at that. “It’s Montana. I support my right to carry, and if any reporters go past my gates, they’ll get a bullet in their ass. I know the laws well enough to know where I can shoot.”
“Very well then,” Joe said, downing the rest of his coffee. “I will get bundled up to brave this cold. See you down there.”
I waited for Joe to exit the kitchen before looking back at Beau. “Why didn’t you warn Amber beforehand about any of this?”
“I knew that she’d talk her way around it,” Beau said simply. “In case you haven’t noticed, she does have my ability to spar with words when she wants to. Although it’s nice to see a spark of life in her again.”
“If you’re sure this is the right thing—”
“I think it is,” he said. Just promise me one thing, Gage.”
“What’s that?”
“Promise me that you’ll watch after my baby girl,” he said. “Make sure that she’s okay at the end of all of this.”
Despite my unease about how I felt with Amber coming with me, I put on an assuring front for Beau’s sake. I could see the emotions in Beau’s normally guarded expressions. He was devastated and angry over everything that had happened to Amber. No parent wanted to see their child suffer from emotional and mental heartache.
“I promise,” I said. “I’ll keep an eye on her.”
Chapter 6
Amber
What hell was my father thinking?
I stood behind the couch where Ethan was stretched out. His eyes were fixated on the large flat screen above the fireplace as his favorite episode of Paw Patrol played on. His hair was still messy from sleep, and he needed to brush his teeth before getting dressed for the day. Yet, those small little tasks seemed to drain the life right out of me these days.
Adjusting my sweatpants, I hurried up the stairs to the guest room suite to shower, first and foremost. The last thing I wanted to do was sit in a car with Gage Devlin with sweaty armpits and bad morning breath. I hadn’t even bothered putting on a bra before coming down for breakfast, but my dad had kept Gage’s arrival a secret for a reason. My father wanted to use the element of surprise and catch me off guard.
Spending time alone with Gage in the wilderness did sound like a breath of fresh air compared to the stifling despair of my divorce, but I still didn’t like the idea of being looked after. It had nothing to do with protection. There was plenty of security around the house to keep Ethan and me safe against any sort of retaliation from Scott.
This was about tough love. My father was famous for his tough love that everyone on the right-leaning side of politics loved.
And I hated it because it was true. I couldn’t sit around any longer in nothing but sweats and a bathrobe, while Ethan ran wild unless the staff kept him in check because I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t afford to be emotionally crippled any longer, but coming into the guest room was a bitter reminder of the worst decisions I had ever made in my life.
Boxes were stacked up against the wall. Most of the boxes were full of clothes and books. All that was left of my previous life was a few boxes full of my personal things and a lifetime worth of regret.
“Shit,” I sighed out, pulling out a suitcase filled with clothes that were neatly folded still. “How the hell did my life turn into this damn soap opera?”
I glanced out the guest room window to see Joe driving down to the gate to shoo off the reporters gathered on the other side. They didn’t want reporters catching drift that I was leaving with Gage Devlin because they would follow us all the way to Montana. This excursion into the wilderness was about having some time alone with my thoughts, to work through the demons, and to move on with my life. That had been the gist of the conversation in the dining room with my dad.
Grabbing a pair of fleece-lined leggings, along with a long-sleeved shirt, I gladly stepped into the bathroom for a hot shower. It was the first time in days I had felt motivated to actually take the time to wash my hair, shave everything that needed to be shaved, and use some nice soap to smell good.
I let the hot spray ease away the tension in my back as I thought about the upcoming month, living under Gage’s roof. He had bought a nice piece of land outside of Bozeman, well away from crowds, and built his dream log home there for his family. Now, it was just him and his daughter Lily under his roof.
Gage’s place would offer complete privacy and isolation away from everyone. Something pulsated deep from within me at the thought. Gage had aged well over the years since I’d last seen him. It was true when people said that men age well because Gage was sexier than I remembered from my graduation party.
He was still in great shape from working around his property. He was a true outdoorsman, too, from what my father told me. He hiked around with his daughter and worked the land, and it showed in those well-defined muscles that wanted to bulge out through his sweater sleeves. My fingers longed to run through the chocolate-colored locks of his hair and to feel that bristle of a beard on his strong jaw. I wanted to know what shade of color those icy blue eyes burned when he was turned on.
I felt that undeniable tightness in between my legs. Blood rushed through my veins warmly, and it felt as though millions of bubbles fizzled beneath my skin from the thought of actually touching Gage. It had been too long since I’d last truly enjoyed the touch of a man. Scott had never cared for foreplay, or my pleasure for that matter. Sex had always been about him. Never about me after we were married.
Gage already did strange things to me without even touching me. It was the look in his eyes, the recognition of me as a young woman, not as Beau’s young daughter, that thrilled me beyond anything else. Years ago, it would’ve been my fondest fantasy to be under the same roof as Gage Devlin for an entire month away from the eye of the press on us. An entire month of finding myself in those strong arms didn’t seem so stellar now, considering my father had asked for Gage to keep an eye on me.
My blood continued to bubble warmly, though. The core of me ached as those wicked fantasies of Gage’s hand between my legs flashed through my mind. Pleasure surged through me when I reached down to feel the slickness and heat there, despite the cooling water. If I had to spend an entire month with Gage in the next room, I had to do something. I had to get rid of this tension now before sitting in the car with him for ten hours.
“Mommy?”
I jumped in surprise, nearly slipping against the slick shower tiles at the sound of Ethan’s voice cutting through the steam in the bathroom. I spotted his tiny body through the cloud of steam as he approached the shower door.
“Ethan, honey. You have to knock before coming in like that.”
“Papa says we’re leaving,” Ethan said. “He says we have to go bye-bye.”
I could hear that tell-tale tremor of tears in his voice. He was on the brink of having an emotional breakdown, so I quickly turned the cold water on to cool my heated body. I wrapped myself up in a fluffy white towel that smelled of laundry soap before gathering Ethan up in my arms. Setting him down on the edge of the bed, I dressed while listening to his quiet sniffs with a sinking heart. Ethan rarely cried out loud. I found myself wanting those type of outbursts, not the quiet ones that tore at my heart strings.
“Okay, mister,” I said and sat down in the center of the bed with Ethan in my lap. “What’s going on? Why are we upset this morning?”
Ethan wiped at his eyes with a low-throated cry. “I don’t want to leave Papa and Grandma’s. Did I do something wrong?”
“Of course not,” I soothed, smoothing back his fair blonde hair. “Why would you think that you’ve done something wrong?”
“Because we left Dad’s when we were both bad.”
I stiffened at that. No matter how much I convinced myself that I had shielded Ethan from the abuse, there were moments like these that I knew he had seen and heard more than he should’ve heard. How did anyone explain to their children that their father wasn’t the best person on the planet? How could I explain to him that we did nothing wrong when he believed his father’s words over my own?”
A headache pounded in my temples again.
“You haven’t done anything wrong. Okay?” I waited for Ethan to nod meekly. “What happened between your daddy and me had nothing to do with you. Papa just thinks that some time away will do us both some good. It won’t be permanent. I promise.”
“We will come back?”
“We’ll come back to see Papa and Grandma when they are back from work,” I said. “If you miss them, we can figure something out. Maybe go fly on a plane to visit Papa where he works?”
“Yeah!” Ethan’s face visibly brightened at the prospect of flying on an airplane. “Let’s do that, Mommy. I want to fly on a plane with Papa.”
“I’ll make sure to mention it to him,” I said, kissing his forehead with a smile. “Go on now. Get one of the maids to help you get dressed while I finish up here.”
Ethan climbed off the bed with surprising grace and speed that I envied him for. He paused for a moment in the doorway to look back at me with a concerned frown.
“Is that man down with Papa a good man?”
“You mean Gage?” He nodded. “Yes, he’s a good man. Papa trusts him.”
I waited to finish getting ready until I heard Ethan’s voice and a maid’s voice in the hallway. After sorting through a few boxes, I settled on a couple of suitcases full of winter clothes, along with my favorite books and computer. I helped Ethan sort through the massive pile of new toys in his room, courtesy of his grandparents, before packing his own bag. There was a flurry of movement and voices in the living room when I came downstairs with a few suitcases. The security team was preparing for us to leave, but there were also members of my dad’s personal counsel and PR team there, too.
Gage stood far from the chaos of people in the living room. His hands were tucked behind his back as he watched me come down the stairs. My heart skipped when our eyes met. I couldn’t read a single emotion in his eyes, which made it intimidating. He came forward to help with the few suitcases I managed to bring down.
“Thank you,” I said. “I can help you put them in the car.”
“I can do it,” he replied, grabbing them from me. “I can’t stand it in here, anyway. Too many people and conversations.”
I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. “Welcome to my life. That’s a normal day in this household.”
A ghost of a smile tugged at his lips. I gathered the rest of my bags and suitcases from the hallway above the stairs before finding Ethan wrapped up in my father’s arms. He pressed a kiss to Ethan’s cheek with a smile.
“Be a good boy, okay? We will play when I come back. Grandma will be back soon, too.”
I waited for Ethan to finish up his tearful goodbye with my father before taking hold of Ethan’s hand in mine. I met my father’s eyes, and a stab of anger went through me again. Even if this was Gage Devlin, I didn’t appreciate being pawned off like this. I didn’t voice it, but I knew that the PR team was scrambling to defend the Roselynn name against Scott’s lies to the media. It was just easier if we weren’t around to see what sort of tactics they were going to employ.
“Have a safe flight to D.C,” I said coolly. “I guess that I’ll see you later, then.”
“Don’t be so melodramatic, Amber. It doesn’t fit you.”
He pressed a kissed to my cheek, too, but I pulled away to combat the tears in my eyes. I followed the security team out to the SUV where Gage was buckling in a car seat for Ethan. He held out a hand to Ethan when we approached.
“Hi, Ethan,” he said. “I’m Gage. Do you want to stop and get some lunch at your favorite place?”
Ethan’s eyes widened with hope. “McDonalds?”
“Yes, McDonalds,” Gage replied, nodding with a small grin. “Then, we can pick up my daughter. Her name is Lily, and she’s ten years old. I know that she’ll like having someone to play with.”
I smiled gratefully when Gage picked Ethan up to place him in the car seat and buckled him in. He opened the passenger door for me next, and waited wordlessly while I settled in the seat before closing it securely. I pulled the small shade down in the window as Gage hopped up into the driver’s seat.
“I didn’t want this SUV,” he remarked, fiddling with the gear stick. “Your dad’s security insisted on taking it because it’s harder for the media to see through the windows.”
“My dad thinks he knows best,” I said.
Gage looked over at me with an arched eyebrow. “He’s just doing what he thinks will help you and Ethan, is all. Get away from all this chaos and cameras.”
“They’ll find me eventually. It only takes one word to get out there. And they’ll find me.”
That wave of crushing sadness came again. I pulled my sunglasses down over my eyes to hide the tears there while Gage started the SUV. He pulled down the drive way slowly, with a stream of cars around us. I hunkered down in the seat when I caught sight of media vans parked along the road outside the driveway. I watched as the vans scrambled to follow a different car, the ploy car, in the opposite direction before sitting up straight again.
This was the new normal. Hiding out from the media because of my father’s status in a tense political climate. Everything we did was under the watchful gaze of the rest of the United States. That included my divorce. That included Ethan’s custody case with Scott, who recently told reporters that we were making up allegations for custody reasons. I could still picture Scott’s leering face surrounded by a crowd of cameras and microphones as he accused my father of using his wealth to get what he wanted. That sort of thing provoked a sense of scandal these days.
I looked over to Gage as he drove along with his eyes focused on the road in front of us. If the general public thought Scott’s allegations were the true scandals, I didn’t want to imagine what they would think if I acted out on my desires that involved the man currently behind the steering wheel.