Chapter 15
Gage
I had originally thought the feeling of Amber lowering herself over my erection had been a very pleasant wet dream. Her fingers dug slightly into my shoulders as she gyrated at an agonizing pace. I clenched my teeth as she lowered herself up and down at that same wicked pace. The heat. The tightness. I could barely think as I let my body take over to buck up against her desperately.
Her hips immediately stopped. I opened my eyes, fearing that I had hurt her, but found her smile seductive and teasing. She wagged a finger at me in warning.
“No way,” she whispered, trailing that same finger down my chest. “Take it slow. I don’t want you to forget me after tonight.”
Those tight inner muscles squeezed me intimately. My head fell back against the pillow in a thinly veiled effort to honor what she wanted. She wanted this to go slow, but I was already teetering on the edge of desperation because of my earlier dream.
She rolled her hips again to send fire straight through me. I clutched her thighs tightly in response to my rapidly approaching release.
“Does this feel good?” Amber whispered, rocking over me with shaky gasps. “Tell me it feels good.”
“It feels fucking good,” I gritted out, trying in vain to get her hips to move faster. She resisted with a breathless giggle. “I’m about to get blue balls over my entire body if you keep going at this pace.”
“You can enjoy some teasing,” she said. “Maybe enjoy the show?”
“What show?”
That smile turned wicked again as her hand lowered down to where our bodies were joined. All the breath in my lungs was sucked right out of me while I watched Amber’s hand start to rub herself. Her bare breasts were flushed in the moonlight when her head tilted back. A moan escaped Amber’s mouth as she rubbed at her clit feverishly for a release.
Her muscles were pulsating as I tried to thrust upwards, but she pushed me back down. I let out a frustrated growl in response. She wanted explosive. She wanted to tease me in a way that I would never forget. It would be impossible to forget her. I was already dreading her return to Beau tomorrow morning.
I refused to let her have all the control, though. Circling an arm around her back, I slipped out of her sweet heat before twisting the both of us around on the bed. She landed on her back with a surprised gasp. Before she could protest, I grabbed her legs to flip her over onto her stomach. She immediately scrambled up to her knees, but I didn’t hear a word of complaint when I thrusted back into her with a relieved groan.
My fingers dug into the muscles of her ass cheeks. Our pace was rough, fast, and full of desperation. Sweat covered the both of us. I could barely think through the haze of pleasure as I reached around to blindly rub at the bundle of nerves between her legs. Her inner muscles twitched in response as she buried her head into the blankets and mattress to muffle her cries of pleasure. This was what she wanted. I slapped her ass cheek before I felt her release spiral through her body in spasms. I gave in a few seconds later to a body numbing orgasm.
Depleted of energy, I collapsed on the bed next to Amber. She lifted her head to look at me through the dim light of the room.
“I did not plan for things to go like that,” she said, panting. “You don’t like losing control, do you?”
“Not really,” I replied, my heart still racing in my chest. “There’s a time for being a tease. We don’t have time on our side this time.”
Amber curled up next to me and rested her head on my chest, with one leg draped over my thigh. I slipped one arm around her to trace errant patterns across the skin of her back. She nestled against me with a soft sigh.
“I don’t want to go back to my father tomorrow,” she whispered, her hot breath stirring the hair on my chest. “I didn’t know how to tell him that I don’t want to go back to Colorado Springs. I’d rather stay here with you.”
“You have to go,” I said. A chill came over me then. “We can’t draw attention to ourselves right now. Not with your father just resuming his position in Congress. Not to mention all media vultures hovering around you, looking for any excuse to drum up a scandal.”
“I hate being so well-known,” Amber said. “Growing up in the lens of the public eye sucks. I can’t ever do anything without someone giving their opinion, or having the risk of my father’s name being tarnished. And now things are so much worse.”
I pressed a kiss against her temple because I didn’t trust myself to talk any more. I had vowed to never go across that line with Amber, but I had sprinted across it without hesitation. I didn’t want to think of how Beau would react if he knew what I had let happen underneath my house. Turns out, it wasn’t Scott that he should be worried about. It was me.
Sleep took Amber eventually after I scooted the both of us up the bed to lay in the center of it. I dressed quietly after I was confident she had fallen asleep. I didn’t want to risk one of the kids finding the both of us naked in bed.
I stretched out on top of the blankets to gaze out the window of my room. I watched a few evergreen pines sway in the cold night breeze. Snow fell from their branches in a white cloud that was almost crystalline in the moonlight leaking through the clouds. I drifted off to sleep. At one point, I woke to the sound of Amber sliding out of bed with a sad sigh. She didn’t even bother looking back at me as she went into the bathroom, shutting the door softly behind herself.
The shower turned on a few seconds later. I resisted the urge to go in after her. A quick shower would turn into a long one, but I didn’t want to draw out this goodbye, either. Instead, I dressed quickly before heading down the hallway to peek into Lily’s room. She opened her eyes the moment I opened the door to glare at me sleepily.
“We have to get going,” I said. “It’s time to get up.”
Lily groaned in protest as she tugged her blanket up over her head. “Why though? Why are we getting up so early this morning?”
“I have to take Amber and Ethan to the city this morning. Her father is here to help with the snowstorm.”
“You mean, they’re going back?”
My throat clenched in disappointment. “Yes. They have to go back.”
“I don’t want them to go, though,” Lily said and pulled the blanket from her head. She sat up to look at me with a frown. “They can stay longer here with us. I like Amber, Dad. I like having her around to help me with clothes and stuff.”
“I know that, baby,” I said. “I can help you with your clothes.”
Lily pulled a face at me. “Yeah, but you aren’t good at it like Amber or Mommy. Nothing ever matches if I let you do it.”
“I’m trying my hardest,” I replied, chuckling. “Get dressed, Lily. We have to get out of here in the next hour.”
I closed her bedroom door. I felt relieved to know that Lily was starting to regain interest in clothes again. Her tomboy phase was slowly coming to an end since her mother’s funeral. That was progress I gave Amber credit for because I had no idea what the latest fashion trends were.
I glanced in the spare room to find Ethan still curled up in his bed, but I decided to let Amber get him ready. There were still times that I caught Ethan’s eyes watching me warily. He gladly joined in games if Amber gave permission, but he was still timid when it came to being alone with me.
I credited his piece of shit father for that.
Amber came down the stairs with Ethan on her hip and Lily at her side, while they talked about clothes. It took all my strength to not gather Amber into my arms and to hold her close like I wanted to. Disappointment swept over me.
We couldn’t have a proper goodbye with the kids around us, so I helped pack up Amber and Ethan’s bags into the SUV while Amber buckled Ethan into the car seat. The drive back to the city was long and quiet. I poured all my concentration onto the snowy and windy roads. Plow trucks passed by us slowly as we entered the outskirts of Bozeman.
The Roselynn house was on the opposite end of the city, a few miles out of town. The roads were much better as I pulled through the gated driveway, past a security checkpoint when they waved us in, and parked in front of the spacious four-bedroom home. There were several other vehicles parked in front of the log cabin, including my truck that I had left behind in Colorado Springs to avoid media detection. I cut the engine before turning to look over at Amber.
A lone tear clung to the corner of her jaw. Her sunglasses were pulled down low to cover her eyes, but I could sense the sadness radiating off of her.
“Amber,” I said.
She glanced over at me, her face completely devoid of emotion. I swallowed thickly. There was so much that I wanted to say, but I couldn’t. Not with the kids in the car. I didn’t want to risk Ethan mentioning something to Beau.
“I promise that we will make plans for the kids to get together,” I said. “Soon. Okay?”
The door opened on her side of the SUV. She didn’t get the chance to reply as Joe held out a hand to help her hop out onto the icy and snow-packed ground. I hopped out as well to help the security team carry in their bags while Lily climbed up into my truck, slamming the door shut without a goodbye.
“I’m sorry,” I said to Amber as we walked along the shoveled pathway. “She’s upset that you’re leaving. I don’t know what to say to her.”
Amber smiled empathetically as she shifted Ethan on her hip. “There isn’t anything you can say. I told her that I would make it a point to give you pointers on how to shop for her in the future.”
“I need the advice,” I remarked wryly. “Nothing too pink and frilly, right?”
“Right. Cool and hipster now.”
The front door opened to reveal Beau, who opened his arms up with a wide grin. Ethan immediately slid off Amber’s hip to throw himself into Beau’s arm with an excited giggle. I walked alongside Amber, trying desperately to not reach for her hand, and waited for Beau to finish giving them both a long hug.
“Thank you,” Beau said, clasping me on the shoulder. “I appreciate you looking out for them. They look wonderful.”
I nodded at him. “It was my pleasure. They’re welcome anytime. I’ll let you all settle in.” I caught Amber’s eyes briefly before I took a step back. “I’ll see you all soon, hopefully. Get the kids together again. They seemed to enjoy spending time together.”
“Sounds wonderful,” Beau replied, hugging Ethan close to him. “I’ll call you. We have press all week to get to.”
“I understand. See you all later.”
I walked down along the pathway to the truck when the front door closed shut. I kept my face emotionless as I passed by various members of Beau’s team that followed him everywhere. Lily didn’t say a word for the entire drive to Raychelle’s house. I was glad of that, since I was wrapped up in my own conflicting thoughts.
We arrived at Raychelle’s house, and Lily gave her aunt a long hug before heading upstairs to play.
“What’s going on with her?” Raychelle asked, frowning. “She seems upset, Gage. What is going on?”
“It’s a long story,” I said, sighing. “And complicated. I don’t want to go into it.”
Raychelle pulled me in the direction of the small kitchen. Chicken noodle soup simmered in a pot on the stove. The smell of baking biscuits filled my lungs as I took a seat at the small round table in the kitchen nook. She stirred the soup with a large spoon before pouring us both hefty cups of coffee.
“I’m all ears,” she said. “I can see that something is different about you, too. What is it?”
“Nothing. It’s noth—”
“It’s something,” Raychelle said impatiently. “I’m not blind, Gage. I can see that you’re struggling with something inside of your head there.” She paused for a moment to look at me closely. “Is it a woman? Are you seeing someone new?”
I took a long sip of coffee in response. I wasn’t going to deny that part of it, even if I had no idea what was going to happen between Amber and me.
A smile spread across Raychelle’s face. “So, you are. You are seeing a new woman. That’s great, Gage!”
“You think so?” I asked, surprised. “I figured you would be lecturing me about it.”
“I’m not going to lecture you. My sister would’ve wanted you to move on with your life. You have to move on with your life. It’s natural to feel guilty, but this isn’t a bad thing. God knows that child upstairs needs a mother.”
I ran a hand along my aching head because guilt didn’t even cover how I felt. I had fucked my best friend’s adult daughter, but I also had feelings for her at the same time. It was one fucked up situation that I had no idea how I was going to get out of, let alone navigate through. There was already enough scandal in the headlines surrounding Amber and her father. I didn’t even want to imagine how the press and general public opinion would handle a relationship between the two of us.
“It’s complicated,” I said.
“Of course, it is,” Raychelle replied, frowning. “You lost your wife to cancer. I know how much you loved, Marcie, but there is nothing holding you back from falling in love again. It’s okay to want someone. It’s okay to pursue something that gives you a bit of happiness.”
The timer on the stove went off. Raychelle rose from her chair across from mine to pull out the baking sheet from the oven. I pulled out my phone to pull up Amber’s personal cell number. Maybe Raychelle was right. It was okay to pursue something that brought happiness to my life. Even if it was complicated.
I texted Amber quickly. I hope you and Ethan are okay. I miss you both.
It was a few seconds later that my phone buzzed with Amber’s reply. I miss you more already, xoxo.
A small spark of hope filled me. Maybe it wouldn’t be so complicated. It was only a matter of figuring out when and how I would be able to have Amber alone with me again.