Chapter 9
Gage
The restaurant was alive with kids when I managed to find an empty parking space a few feet away from the entrance. I was thankful for Lily’s chatter in the back seat because she was unaware of the tension between Amber and me. The entire sermon had been about the one thing that I was struggling with the most since having Amber in my home, the desire to take her into my bed for a wild and hot fuck that my body craved desperately.
And Amber wanted it, too. I could sense it in the way her body had heated up alongside me in the pew, or the way her eyes had found my arousal through my pants. I didn’t even feel embarrassed about my reaction. It was more arousing to know that Amber was aware of my reaction, but didn’t pull away. She seemed to lean in more.
We walked along the parking lot with Lily and Ethan between us. I caught a young man’s eyes lingering on Amber as she walked by his car, completely oblivious to his interest in her. I didn’t lie when I said that everyone wanted to know who the beautiful and petite blonde woman standing next to me in the church parking lot was. I had hesitated going to church for the first time in years.
Marcie had been the one who was in church every Sunday morning. She respected my desires to stay clear from religion, though. My parents had been strict with religion since the day I was born. I couldn’t remember a day that didn’t go by without God being beaten into my head with a ruler when I didn’t want to follow the rules. Life was exactly like that. Some invisible force got to beat you on the top of your head whenever you did something wrong, and I felt that slap on the back of my head when I felt my eyes going to Amber as she walked alongside Ethan.
The waiting area in the restaurant was crowded, but I prompted Amber to follow me past the hostess stand. She followed me through the crowded dining area, past a large play area for kids, and to a more reserved area of the restaurant. I motioned for Amber to slip her jacket off by helping Lily out of her own jacket.
“Are we going to get kicked out?” Amber asked anxiously. “We blew right by the hostess stand there.”
“My dad owns this place,” Lily informed her, gladly ridding herself of her heavy snow jacket. “Dad, can Ethan and I share a plate of chicken fingers? They are really good.”
“Of course,” I said, and nodded my permission for Lily to leave the table.
She took Ethan’s hand when Amber took his jacket off to tug him in the direction of the play area. Amber watched the both of them go before looking over at me.
“I don’t own this restaurant,” I said. “A part of it, yes. They always have a table for when Lily and I make it down here. No need to wait.”
“That makes sense then, why no one ran after us when we walked by the hostess stand.” She glanced over to where Ethan and Lily entered the play area. “I don’t know if I feel comfortable with them playing over there by themselves.”
“There are employees who sit in there to watch over the kids,” I explained, taking a seat in the booth with a relieved sigh. Sitting in those hardwood pews was hell on my back. “Sit down, Amber. I promise that the kids are fine. There are people watching over them.”
I patted the booth next to me. A ghost of a smile touched Amber’s lips as she slid into the booth alongside me. She tucked the fabric of her skirt underneath the back of her thighs. The tension was radiating off of her in waves as she watched Lily and Ethan play.
Not that I blamed her. I was supposed to be watching over her, taking care of her, and yet I was lusting after her in all the wrong and right ways. I couldn’t even remember the last time I felt this attracted to a woman, other than Marcie. I even felt a stab of pure male pride whenever I caught a few lingering glances at Amber from other tables. It occurred to me then that I missed having a woman in my life, but it didn’t feel right, either.
Marcie wouldn’t want me to be alone for the rest of my life. She had been very adamant about that toward the end of her cancer treatments. It would be okay to move on when I felt good and ready. No one would judge me, as long as she took care of our daughter.
This morning, I had overheard Lily in Amber’s room as they talked about hair products. It was the first time since her mother’s funeral that Lily had squeezed herself into a dress willingly. Her hair was still a tangled mess, though. She refused to let anyone brush it.
“Thank you,” I blurted out, suddenly grateful for Amber’s presence in our house. Even if it were for other reasons, I felt as though Amber was starting to help fill in those cracks in our house.
Amber looked over at me in surprise. Her wide blue eyes had that lost and sad quality to them as usual.
“For what?”
“For helping Lily this morning,” I said. “You know how long it’s been since I’ve seen her dress like a girl?”
Amber’s smile turned sad. “I’m sure it’s been awhile. She mentioned that her mother used to be the one who got her ready for church every morning.”
“That was their routine.” Guilt filled me, then. “I had pushed her away from church, though. I don’t like going.”
“Why is that?” Amber asked.
“I don’t know. I guess it stems from my childhood. I used to get hit a lot when I was in Catholic school.”
“I’m sure it was for good reason,” Amber said, giggling. The sound of it warmed me over. “You didn’t have to go. I would’ve been fine going by myself. Believe it or not, I can handle the snowy roads around here.”
“I promised your dad that I’d keep a close eye on you and Ethan,” I said. “Who was going to save you from Mrs. Fields, the nosy neighbor?”
Her face contorted into a grimace. “Good point, I suppose. It was an interesting church service.”
“Interesting,” I agreed, trying to keep my voice steady. I was walking into dangerous territory here with Amber, but I couldn’t help it. There was something about her that kept drawing me in.
I needed to change the subject before Amber drifted away into her thoughts again. She did that a lot, I noticed. It seemed more intentional at times, as though retreating to her thoughts was the only thing keeping her sane. Then again, she had grown up in the spotlight of the American public as a congressman’s well-behaved daughter. She kept a majority of her feelings to herself because it had a tendency to get dissected.
“The choir was also interesting,” I said. “Don’t you think?”
Amber blinked at the topic change. She tilted her head to look at me with a surprised laugh. “What about it?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged my shoulders. “I wish some musical stars these days would take a lesson from the choir here. I listened to Lily’s iPod the other day to find that most of those singers are auto-tuned.”
“I tried out for choir one time,” Amber said. She laughed at the look on my face. “I’m serious. I totally did. It was my mother’s idea because she wanted me to be more involved with the church to have friends.”
“Now, I’m curious about what happened,” I said, leaning on an elbow to gaze at her. “I don’t peg you as a singer. Your father never mentioned your singing abilities, either.”
“That’s because I don’t have any singing abilities. The choir teacher told me that God gives everyone special talents, but he wasn’t sure that singing was one of mine. He was actually confident that mine wasn’t singing.”
I laughed as the sad light from Amber’s eyes faded away. She giggled, too, as the waiter appeared at our table with our plates of food.
“We better get the kids,” she said, rising from the table. “I’ll be right back with them. We don’t want any hungry kids at bedtime screaming for a snack as usual.”
“No kidding.”
I found my eyes lingering on the tightness of Amber’s skirt. It clung to her hips perfectly, hugging the curve of her legs and waist. The curve of her ass caught my attention, too. By all definition, I was already committing sexual immorality by wanting Amber for myself. I was looking at her with one thing only on my mind, so I was damned to hell already.
She returned a few moments later with Lily and Ethan in tow. Lily rushed up to the table to take a seat in the booth next to me. She glanced at the dipping sauces for her chicken tenders before looking up at me.
“Dad, why don’t you sit over there with Amber?”
The question startled the both of us. Amber paused in depositing Ethan in the booth across from us. He squirmed anxiously in Amber’s arms, clearly wanting to sit next to Lily as well.
“Why can’t I stay here?” I asked.
“Because the dipping sauces are on this side,” Lily explained impatiently. “It’ll be easier for Ethan and me to share if we are sitting next to each other.”
I looked up at Amber helplessly. It was clear that this was a losing battle, so I slid out of the booth to let Amber set Ethan next to Lily. She tucked in a napkin around his lap to keep his pants as clean as possible.
Amber slid back into the booth across from Ethan. The side of her leg brushed up against my own beneath the table. It sent a fiery sensation up my leg. I waited for Amber to pull away, realizing the mistake, but she didn’t move her leg like I anticipated. I forced myself to enjoy my plate of chicken fried steak instead of the sensation of Amber sitting so close that I could feel her leg up against mine.
It took all my resolve to not reach down, grab hold of that leg, and run an appreciative hand up the muscled thigh.
“Can we play some more?” Lily asked, once the plates were cleared from the table. “A little more before you pay, Dad?”
I glanced over at Amber who shrugged her shoulders. “Only a few more minutes,” I said. “I don’t want to be around here much longer.”
Lily beamed a happy smile at me before sliding out of the booth with Ethan right behind her. The two of them dodged through the dining area, avoiding other people before disappearing into the play area again.
I handed the waitress my credit card in passing when she stopped by with the ticket. I half-expected Amber to pull away, but she remained seated next to me. Her hands were cradling her cup of tea as she gazed out the window, lost in her train of thoughts again.
It was instinct to let my arm slide across the back of the booth. The soft curls of Amber’s hair brushed against the skin of my hand in the process. Her eyes fluttered shut at the gesture. She leaned back against my arm then, taking in a deep breath. I should’ve pulled away. A small voice in the back of my head warned me to pull away, but I was enjoying the feel of Amber in the booth next to me. I enjoyed having a beautiful woman next to me.
I reached for Amber’s hand, resting on the table. Her hand twitched in response when I slid my fingers through hers. I gently tugged her hand down to the seat between us. Her fingers felt delicate, threaded through mine. I was bigger than her in every sense, and a surge of protectiveness went through me. It didn’t matter what happened between Amber and me. At the end of this month, I wanted to help get her back up on her feet.
She couldn’t spend the rest of her life floating away in her thoughts. That’s what had landed her in trouble in the first place. That was what landed me in trouble in the first place, too.