Chapter 12
Amber
Gage Devlin had been naked in the shower with me. Even better than that? I had gotten a glimpse of how well-equipped he was in the downstairs department. There was no doubt in my head now that having sex with Gage would be the best I’ve ever known. He’d blow Scott out of the water. He already did in so many ways.
It had been hard, though, to hear him call out for Marcie in the depths of his fever. I had caught sight of those tears in his eyes when he realized it was me, not his late wife. I refused to let it sting too much. Both of us were grieving our relationships in different ways. I had only been with Scott for three years before our marriage came crashing down. Gage had been with Marcie for nearly eleven years, if I counted right. It was natural for the both of us to be carrying this sort of emotional baggage around. Our kids carried it around, too.
My heart clenched, thinking of Lily throughout the week. She had lost interest in girl’s clothes since her mother’s death, but she had made camp in the center of my guest room while looking through my bag of makeup. It instantly reminded me of the times I would watch my mother doll up for the day, and my heart swelled with a new grief, thinking of how Lily no longer had that connection. Until now.
The sound of the sliding glass doors opening drew me out of my thoughts. I twisted around from where I was seated on the couch, wrapped up in a thick blanket with a book in my lap. Gage carried in the fourth box of chopped wood from outside. He set the box down on the bricks around the fireplace with a sigh.
“A foot of snow is being forecasted tonight,” Gage said, slipping his gloves off. The tip of his nose was red from the cold. “If we need any more wood to keep warm, I’ll grab some throughout the night.”
I closed my book to set it on the coffee table. “Do you think we will lose power up here?”
“Yes,” he replied simply. “It happens more than you think.” He caught sight of the panic spreading through me. “Don’t worry. I have a generator to run the house if we really need to. The fireplaces in here tend to keep us pretty cozy. We’ll just have to sleep down here with candle lights.”
“Even the furnace won’t be on?” I asked anxiously. The thought of being snowed in with Gage wasn’t entirely a bad prospect. It was the freezing my ass off in the middle of the night that didn’t sound pleasant. Temperatures in Montana had a tendency to drop into the negative digits, even more than Colorado.
Gage frowned at me. “Most likely, no. I can run the generator enough to keep the furnace going. Will that be better?”
“If it isn’t a problem,” I started, but Gage shook his head at me.
He tossed a large log into the already smoldering fire before heading down in the direction of the basement. I picked at the corner of my book while gazing out the windows. The sky was already covered in thick grey clouds. Upstairs, I could hear Lily and Ethan playing in her room. They were excited for another few days of snow. It meant that Lily didn’t have to go to school if the roads were too treacherous and slick to drive on.
I listened to Ethan’s bubbly voice as he played along with Lily. All traces from the nightmare last night was gone. He had woken up as usual with a bright smile, but I saw it lingering in his eyes the same way my dreams haunted me. His screams had stirred me out of my own nightmare about Scott. It had felt so real. I could smell his breath and the wet spit in my face. I could feel the heat of his hands on my arms, and the pain of his fingers digging into my skin. No matter what I did anymore, or how far I ran, Scott still managed to find a way back into my life to haunt me.
In three weeks, we had a custody hearing in front of a judge. Neither one of us was willing to mediate when it came to Ethan, so we bypassed mediation to go to court in front of a judge. A part of me wondered if Scott had shown up to my parents’ home, searching for me since he knew that they were gone.
Just yesterday, I had turned the TV on to let Ethan see my father on the screen as he left a congressional meeting with his fellow peers. Scott kept track of things like that, but my phone remained silent. No one called to warn me that he was on his way up to Montana.
I rubbed at my aching head. For days, I had popped Vitamin C to keep from getting Gage’s cold. I didn’t want to go delirious with a fever. There was no telling what sort of secrets would come spilling out of my mouth. My fantasy about finishing that shower with Gage in there with me, for example.
I still couldn’t erase those images of his taut and well-muscled ass cheeks when he stepped in the shower, bumping into me with a hip. He was all hard lines and coiled muscles beneath his thick skin from years of being out in the wilderness. Water had trailed down through the patch of chest hair and past a flat and toned stomach, before disappearing into the thick curl of hair between his legs.
My core ached thinking of it. He was just pure masculinity, a real man who could take care of himself without any help from modern day accommodations. If the world ended tomorrow, I knew without a doubt that Ethan and I would be safe under Gage’s watch.
“Here,” he said.
I looked up in surprise to find Gage setting a cup of hot cocoa on the coffee table next to my book.
“For you,” he said. “You look like you need a pick me up.”
The thoughtfulness touched a part of me. I smiled up at him in appreciation as he disappeared once again to get ready for the incoming snowstorm. Picking up the mug, I studied the generous amount of whipped cream on the top with a sprinkle of what seemed to be cinnamon and nutmeg. I took a sip with a sigh of pleasure.
Everything about Gage was drastically different from Scott. There were little things that Gage did throughout the day that spoke of genuine compassion and care. Bringing me a cup of hot cocoa was one of those gestures that brought tears to my eyes because I couldn’t remember the last time anyone ever made me feel cared for like this. Scott had never bothered to keep up his charade of being a chivalrous gentleman after our marriage vows. We were already married. He had me, and he didn’t believe that I would ever leave.
A cold chill went up my spine when I had gone through our house in a hurry to grab only my clothes and Ethan’s things. Those white walls had become my prison. There was no warmth in that house, only dark shadows and cold temperatures because Scott refused to pay for a high furnace bill.
Now, I was seated in front of a blazing fire with Ethan and Lily’s laughter echoing from upstairs. It still felt surreal to be here with Gage, going about our lives like we were meant to be together. The perfect sense of domestic bliss. That was the best way I could describe it.
The shrill sound of the phone ringing from the kitchen cut through the warm and comfortable haze. I got up, knowing that Gage couldn’t hear it from the basement, and picked up the landline.
“Gage Devlin’s house,” I said formally.
“Hi, honey. It’s Mom. Is that how Gage really wants you to answer the phone now?”
I smiled at the warm-hearted jest. “No. I just do it out of courtesy since his work does call the landline if they can’t get through to him on his cell phone.”
“Cell service must be down then. I tried calling your phone.”
“There’s a snowstorm heading in,” I replied, looking out the window. “It’s going to dump a couple feet of snow here. What are you doing?”
“Enjoying breakfast with a few friends here. It’s sunny and warm out right now. I’m enjoying a dress at the moment.”
“Way to rub it in,” I said, sitting back down on the couch. “I’m assuming you are calling here for a reason?”
“I wanted to let you know that I’ll be back in two weeks. I’m going to arrange for security to come get you from Gage’s house. We can have a proper mother-daughter chat then.”
“You mean that you’re going to lecture me, right?”
“I wouldn’t say lecture. I’ll be in touch, dear. I have to go. I love you, sweetheart. I hope that you and Ethan are doing okay there. It’s so kind of Gage to take you and Ethan in for us.”
“Yeah,” I said thickly. “He’s been very good to us by taking us in. Everything’s fine here. Don’t worry about us.”
“I’m your mother. I’m always going to worry about you.”
I hung the phone back up. My stomach twisted into uneasy knots. I doubted that my mom would feel so appreciative of Gage’s help if she knew how much I desired him. Just the suggestion of it would give her a heart attack.
“Mommy,” Ethan called out, running into the kitchen to wrap his arms around my legs. “Can we go outside to watch the snow when it comes down?”
I smoothed back his hair to look up as Lily came into the kitchen, too, with Gage right behind them. He shrugged his shoulders when I looked up at him.
“Sure,” I said. “Only for a little bit, though. I don’t want any of us getting sick when are snowed in.”
The air was heavy with the promise of snow when we stepped outside. I watched as Lily and Ethan scooped up snow, still frozen and cold from the last snowfall, to throw at one another.
“Wait for it,” Gage whispered into my ear, his shoulder brushing against mine as he looked up at the sky. “It’ll start off as a trickle before it really comes down.”
Fat snowflakes fluttered down from the sky slowly. A cold wind ripped through the evergreen pines. I shivered against the onslaught of it as the steady trickle turned into a torrential downpour of wet and heavy snow. Gage called the kids in after a few minutes when he noted that our coats were getting saturated from the snow.
We ate dinner together while watching the snow continue to pile up on the front porch, no matter how many times Gage went out there to shovel it off. He gave up hope when the electricity shut off as expected and pulled out a few candles to burn.
“You’re going to love this, Ethan,” Lily said, taking her sleeping bag from Gage when he returned from the spare room. “It’s like camping in a warm house. We get to sleep on the couches!”
I smiled when Ethan clapped his hands happily. All we had was the light from the fireplace, along with the candle lights, as the night stretched into complete darkness. Not even moonlight could escape through the thick clouds above in the sky. It was well close to ten o’clock when Lily and Ethan finally settled down before drifting off into a peaceful sleep on opposite couches.
I tucked an extra blanket around Ethan to make sure he kept warm while Gage fed the fire with another log. It wasn’t until I turned to look back at him that I realized we were alone in front of a blazing fireplace with candles scattered throughout the house to guide us around the dark.
A shiver went up my spine at the temptation. Something had shifted between us since yesterday. Seeing Gage naked in the shower had done something to me, and I felt powerless against it now.
Gage’s eyes darkened in the shadows of the firelight as he slowly closed the metal doors to keep the fire contained. He picked up a spare blanket from the floor. My heart pounded heavily in my chest when he draped it over my shoulders.
“Let’s go into the kitchen,” Gage whispered softly. “I don’t want to wake the kids now that they are asleep.”
“Right.”
I followed him into the kitchen where a few candles were lit on the kitchen counter. The winter air seemed to seep through the windows and cracks in the door. Thankful for the blanket, I wrapped it around myself as Gage took hold of a candle before turning to look at me again.
Desire. I could see it swimming in the depths of his eyes that were a now a stormy blue. The color reminded me of standing on the beach when a thunderstorm rolled in from over the ocean. The waters had been choppy, and the wind had been strong. Yet, it was peaceful. There was something peaceful about getting lost in a storm that I knew that I couldn’t fight against.
Heat seared through me in reply to the feverish look in Gage’s eyes. This time, however, it wasn’t a delirious fever. It was the look of a man ready to ravage someone after holding back for a long period of time. This was wrong. A part of me cautioned that getting involved like this could spell disaster for everybody involved, but I didn’t care.
I threw caution to the wind for one night. That was all I needed. That was all I wanted. So, I let the blanket drop away from my shoulders. I looked into Gage’s eyes, pouring every inch of desire inside me into that look. He set the candle down before holding out a hand for me to take. This was it. I no longer wanted to spend the rest of my life wondering what it would be like to have Gage for myself, even it was for one night. I just wanted him, and only him.
Chapter 13
Gage
I watched the emotions in Amber’s eyes shift in the candlelight as she reached for my hand. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her, even if my life depended on it. The candle light accented the softness of her face and her curves perfectly. Those red lips were plump and ready for a kiss. It took all my strength to not lean in there to kiss her madly.
Something had shifted over the past twenty-four hours. I couldn’t place my thumb on it, but I didn’t care to. I could feel the spark of it between the both of us in the dim light of the candle.
Her soft and delicate fingers brushed against my own. Clasping them gently, I pulled Amber a bit closer to me. Her breathing rate increased as she looked up at me.
We were on the cusp of crossing a very thin line into dangerous territory. I could feel it from the way Amber held her breath. Her fingers and palm were damp with nervous sweat. Or was it my own nervous sweat? I could feel a trickle of moisture go down the back of my neck that had nothing to do with the fire in the living room.
Amber glanced back over her shoulder to make sure that the kids were still sound asleep on the couches. Neither one of their tiny bodies moved from the couch.
“We should go upstairs,” Amber whispered, her fingers squeezing mine. “I don’t want the kids to wake up.”
My throat went dry with lust as Amber tugged me in the direction of the stairs. Wake up from what? I wanted to ask that question, but there was no doubt in my head what was about to happen between the two of us. My legs followed behind Amber up the stairs, even though my brain was screaming not to follow her. I was about to immerse myself in something that could not only cost me Amber, but also my friendship with Beau Roselynn. Even future job contracts.
I didn’t want to lose Amber, either. It had been over fifteen years since I’d been in a relationship. Nine of those years were marriage and routine, while the first part had been dating and singlehood. Sex back then had felt natural. Now, I felt like a damn teenager all over again about to lose my virginity for the first time. I wasn’t sure if I would even be able to last long with Amber’s taut and beautiful body squirming beneath my own.
My cock was already hard in anticipation. The upstairs portion of the house was mildly warm thanks to the fireplace downstairs, but I had set the furnace to a mild 70 degrees to ease Amber’s worries about freezing in the middle of the night. I distantly heard the click of the thermostat turn on followed by dull roar of the generator in the basement kicking on as well, to power the furnace.
Amber walked straight past the guest room to my room. She pulled me in before I could say a word, and shut the door behind me. The click of the door lock only added to my arousal.
“Amber,” I started, trying to regain control of my senses. “We need to talk about this before anything happens.”
“Okay,” she said. “What do you want to talk about?’
She appeared in front of me. A ghost of a smile tugged at her lips as she took the candle from my hand.
“For one, I don’t think this is a good idea,” I said while she set the candle on top of my dresser.
“Why is that?”
“There are a lot of reasons. I’m sure you could name a few.”
“I could,” Amber agreed quietly. “I want to hear your reasons, Gage, because mine are weak at the moment.”
I sucked in a deep breath through my clenched teeth. This was the moment I had fantasized about since the day Amber had stepped into my house. We were alone in the privacy of my bedroom. And both of us were free to cave in to one another, but I forced myself to hold back. I had to diffuse the situation before I was too far gone in my own desire to see straight.
“I don’t want to hurt you, for starters.”
“I don’t think that’s possible. I’ve been around for a few weeks now, Gage. I don’t think you’re capable of hurting a person intentionally. Trust me. I know from personal experience.”
“That’s my point. I’m much older than you, and it’s been a very long time since I’ve done anything like this.”
“It’s been a long time for me, too,” Amber confessed softly. “I’m honestly okay with this, Gage. You have no idea.”
“I do have an idea, though,” I said, holding up a hand to stop her. “You don’t understand, Amber. Your father is one of my closest friends. Do you know what this would do to him if he found out that we…”
I couldn’t say the last part because my cock was already rock hard. My skin felt uncomfortably tight and hot. Amber chewed on her bottom lip, which didn’t help the fire raging in me.
“I don’t want to talk about my father,” she said eventually. “I know what you’re saying, but I’m an adult. There is nothing wrong with us giving into what we both want.” She took a daring step forward to minimize the gap between us. “I know that you want me, Gage. I’ve wanted you for such a long time, too.”
I knew right then why Pandora’s box had been opened out of sheer curiosity. Any hot-blooded man would be interested in that.
“How long is a long time?” I groaned out.
Amber laughed softly as she walked around me with slow and calculated steps. I watched as her full hips moved seamlessly with her steady steps. I imagined them grinding up against my own. I felt a drop of pre-come soak into the fabric of my boxers in response.
“Since I was fifteen,” she said, looking up at me through the curve of her eyelashes. The look rendered the rest of my brain useless. All I could do was focus on her standing in front of me now. “My dad had invited you to a barbecue to celebrate the success of your contract with your company. You were playing football before jumping into the swimming pool. I remember thinking how sexy you were, and how if I could have a man in the future, I would want a man exactly like you.”
I didn’t know what to say. My brain refused to compute simple thoughts as my physical senses took over. My hands itched to reach forward to feel those delicious curves beneath my fingers.
Pull back, Gage. Get away before this leads into something you both are going to regret the next day.
I forced myself to take a step back. Amber blinked in confusion when I shook my head at her.
“I can’t do this, Amber,” I whispered, hands trembling from the effort to keep control over myself. “Your father means everything to me as a friend. I don’t want to hurt you, either.”
“You aren’t going to hurt me, Gage.”
“Neither one of us are thinking about this rationally, either,” I continued and reached behind me blindly to unlock the door. “I’m sorry, Amber. I think it’d be a good idea if we sleep in separate rooms tonight.”
I stepped out before Amber could say another word. I didn’t want to look back to see her reaction as I hurried down the hallway, trying desperately to get myself back under control. I entered the kitchen after checking to see if the kids were still asleep.
Wiping away the sweat at the back of my neck, I rummaged through one of the kitchen cupboards for a strong drink to calm my nerves. I found a bottle of whiskey stored in the back of one of the cabinets. It would be a good idea if Amber and Ethan went back to Colorado Springs. I couldn’t deal with it any longer. It was pure torture. I was in physical agony from having a constant erection that only wanted Amber’s touch and body.
“Gage.”
The sound of my name rolling off of Amber’s lips paused my hand as it reached for a glass.
“What?” I asked roughly.
I felt Amber’s hand gently graze my lower back. Gritting my teeth, I clutched at the kitchen cupboard to keep control as her fingers smoothed over my back in a soothing gesture.
“It’s okay,” she whispered into my ear. “I’ve thought about this long and hard over the years.”
“You have no idea what this is doing to me,” I gritted out, closing the kitchen cupboard quietly. “I’m sorry if I lead you on to believe that something could happen between us, but it can’t. It can’t happen. You understand that?”
“It can happen, Gage. I’m not going to tell you no. I want this.”
I turned around to look at her. Snow trickled down steadily from the thick gray clouds above. Warm candle light spilled through the kitchen and dining room. Shadows danced along the walls. The heater kicked on to combat the chill clinging to the air, but not down here. Not with Amber standing in front of me, dressed in a pair of skintight, maroon-colored leggings and a tight, long-sleeved shirt that hugged her breasts perfectly. Her blonde and wavy hair was pulled up in a messy bun on top of her head, and strands of hair framed her pale face.
Candle light flickered in her blue eyes that were shimmering with desire. I swallowed thickly as she took a slow and deliberate step to me. Within a matter of seconds, things would change. I wouldn’t be straddling that line of wanting Amber, my best friend’s adult daughter, in my bed. It wouldn’t be a long-desired fantasy any longer. Everything would change.
I couldn’t think straight, even if I wanted to. My skin tightened around muscles and bone, making it hard to shift without pain. Blood rushed down in a southerly direction. My cock hardened with anticipation when Amber’s full red lips parted to inhale sharply.
“You’re beautiful,” I said, and the roughness in my voice wasn’t surprising. I was trying desperately to hold my breath to keep control over the rage of lust in me. “So beautiful, Amber. You have no fucking idea how beautiful you are.”
“Thank you,” she whispered. “Gage, please. Come back upstairs.”
Those two little words nearly unhinged me. The desire in Amber’s eyes was bright and flickering, no longer murky behind other emotions. She took another step to close the gap between us. The first brush of her soft hands against mine sent electric jolts up my arms. She gently coaxed my hands to rest on the fullness of her hips. A shiver went up my spine when her fingers traced the veins up my arms before resting on the curve of my shoulders.
Her body was thrumming with energy. I could feel it radiating off her in waves, and my own body was soaking it up eagerly. It felt right—to fucking right with Amber’s delicate, but strong body pressing up against my own. There was nothing naïve about her touch as her fingers slid down to rest on my upper chest, bunching the fabric of my shirt there.
“Are you sure about this?” I asked quietly.
My own fingers started to trace the curve of her hips through the soft cotton fabric of her leggings. They rolled seamlessly underneath my touch.
Rapid breaths escaped Amber’s lips as her chest heaved. My own heart was pounding furiously against my ribcage. I couldn’t breathe easily, either, against the tension bubbling between us.
“Of course, I am,” she murmured, gripping the fabric of my shirt tightly. “I’ve wanted you for so long, Gage. You have no idea.”
I groaned inwardly at that confession. “How long?”
“Since I was a sophomore in high school.” Her lips curved up into a smile. “Do you remember the summer barbecues my dad used to do?”
Summer barbecues in Colorado Springs at the Roselyn house were one of the few memories I had over the past ten years that were full of life and happiness, outside of my daughter. I nodded affirmatively.
“I don’t know how to explain it,” Amber whispered. “But I just felt things for you then that never went away. You had taken off your shirt to jump into the swimming pool, and I kept thinking how sexy you were. How any woman would be lucky to experience that in their bed every single night.”
My eyes slipped closed when Amber’s hands slid up to trace the muscles in my neck. Her fingers buried into the strands of my hair, massaging my scalp expertly. She was trying to ease the tension out of me, to get me to cave in.
Which was working. I could feel my resolve starting to crumble, fast and hard. It took all my strength to not snag her up into my arms to kiss her senselessly. Ethan was sound asleep on the couch with a blanket tucked around him securely behind Amber, while Lily slept in the adjacent couch with her favorite blanket. I couldn’t risk waking one of the kids up to see us wrapped up in one another. They had been through enough.
“Amber,” I warned.
“Shh.” She placed a finger on my lips. “Come back upstairs, Gage. I’m telling you that I want you, that I have wanted you for a very long time. Don’t question it.”
“I just want to make sure that you know what will happen.” I caught her eyes then. “What it will do if we go through with this.”
A frown tugged at her lips. “You’re implying that what we feel for one another is a bad thing.”
“Because that’s how others will see it. Your dad—”
“Do me a favor, and don’t mention my dad. He doesn’t have control over who I want, or who I want to be with.” A fire filled Amber’s eyes then. “I’m twenty-five years old. I’m an adult who is capable of making decisions when it comes to life and sex. And I want you, Gage. Only you. You’re the only man I have ever wanted.”
She grasped my hand, drawing it away from her hip, and tugged me in the direction of the stairs. My legs followed without hesitation, despite the war raging in my head. My heart and cock were already set on having Amber. There was no denying the stiff erection pressed uncomfortably against the band of my jeans, begging to be released.
This was my best friend’s daughter. I had watched her grow up into a young and beautiful woman over the years. When had things shifted? I couldn’t recall the time when I no longer looked at Amber as the young teenage girl with braces and innocent smile. All I could focus on was the firm curve of Amber’s ass cheeks that were on fully display while I followed her up the stairs.
All sane thoughts and logic were chased away when Amber pushed the door open to my bedroom. She closed it shut behind me, locking it just in case.
I’m not sure who moved first, but the final resolve of my self-control crumpled. My arms were wrapped tightly around Amber’s trim waist while her head tilted back in anticipation of a kiss. The first brush of her lips against mine, feather light and tasting of vanilla, drained the rest of the blood from my head. Heat seared through the center of me. I teetered on the ledge of completely losing control when Amber’s teeth nipped at my lower lip, tugging at it seductively.
I jumped off that fucking ledge.