14
Ben rubs his eyes and reaches for his phone. He can’t believe he let Janice get the better of him. He had been so sure it would be dismissed, so sure that the restraining order would make the judge just throw it all out. The idea that she might want a full hearing had seemed so laughable to him he hadn’t bothered to consider it and it had not once occurred to him that she might give interim visitation rights. Alex is right – he did try to tell him, but Ben wasn’t listening. This is his fault; he got cocky and arrogant and now his family is going to pay the price. What’s more, he knows, deep in his gut he knows Janice played him. She knows he’ll do anything to protect Alex and she counted on that, counted on him playing by the rules and being too damned sure of himself.
“Fuck,” he mutters and goes to stand by the stained-glass window at the end of his office. Now, they’re not only going to have to hand their daughters over to that psychotic bitch for two hours on Saturday but they’re going to have to go to court to prove why it’s a bad idea. God knows what this is going to do to Alex.
Ben left him in the house reading stories to Ally, trailing his fingers over his shoulder as he told him he was coming out here to make some calls. Although Alex has said nothing since they got home, Ben can’t shake the vision of his eyes, wide with hurt and betrayal looking up at him. Can’t help but feel he’s let him down. That Alex trusted him, depended on him, and he’s failed him. This is his fault. With a sigh he taps the screen of his phone and lifts it to his ear while it rings out.
“Hello.” The voice answering is brisk, clear, and sharp.
“Lena? Hi, it’s Ben Larsen.”
“Hey kid, what’s up?”
Lena Harris is one of Crawford and Langley’s Family Law specialists and Ben should have called her as soon as they had the summons, if only to discuss the best way to handle it, he realizes now.
“Lena, I need your help.” He sees no point being coy about this. “My mother in law is suing for visiting rights of the girls.”
“I thought you had a restraining order against her?”
“Yeah, but Judge Martin has vacated it and decided it has to go to full hearing and…” he takes a deep breath, rubbing the back of his neck, “she’s granted interim visitation. Two hours a week.”
“Sonja Martin? Yeah, she’s big on extended family rights, especially grandparents.”
“Lena, it’s going to kill Alex if we don’t stop this.”
“Ben…”
“Lena, it’s not hyperbole. It will kill him.”
Ben doesn't know what Lena heard in his voice but when she answers, he can hear she’s moved from colleague to professional as she asks for the entire story. When he finishes speaking, she knows everything from Alex’s ‘punishment’, his attempted suicide and the bargain he struck with his mother, their relationship, and this morning’s meeting; she’s silent for a long moment.
“Ben,” she says finally, “I’m so sorry. I had no idea about Alex. I thought … well I guess we all thought you guys were just one of those anomalies of life - you know, a perfect couple.”
Ben laughs without humor.
“Not many people do know. Not exactly something we chat about at the dinner table. Lena, please, I fucked up this morning. I thought we’d just go in, flash the order, and walk out.”
“Yeah, well don’t feel too bad about that. You’re not the first to think visitation and custody will be …”
“Woah...wait a minute. Custody isn’t on the table here, only visitation and access.” Ben stares at the photo of Alex and the girls he keeps on his desk. “You cannot mention custody to Alex.”
“Ben,” he can tell she’s picking her words, “I’m going to tell you what I tell all my clients okay? You need to prepare for the worst here and pray we deviate before we get there. If this woman is as bad as you say, chances are high that at some point she’s going to push further than simple visitation.”
Ben’s knees wobble and he slides down the window frame until he’s sitting on the floor, sweat popping on his forehead. Until now he’d been able to brush off Alex’s fear as just that - Alex’s fear. Hearing it from Lena gives it much more power.
“Lena, you can’t say that to Alex. You have to promise me, you won’t say anything like that to Alex.”
“Ben, he needs to…”
“No. You have no idea what this morning did to him I’ll try and prepare him, but you can’t say anything like that. Please, I’m begging here Lena.”
Silence settles over the line again.
“Okay, give me your address and I’ll come down … let me just look … okay, I can come down tomorrow afternoon if that works for you and we can take a look at our options. But Ben, he needs to be prepared.”
“I’ll take care of it. He’s already frightened it will happen but it’s just a fear, not a reality. Just … you have to let me do it.”
Ben gives her their address and rings off. He’s still sitting staring at the phone when Ally drops into his lap with a squeal.
“Papa, why are you on the floor? We’re going to walk Bart, are you coming too?”
He kisses the tip of her nose and looks up to see Alex, Lucy against his chest in the front pack and Bart on his lead. He still looks as though he’s in shock, but his smile is genuine.
“Yeah, let me just change my shoes, okay munchkin?”
As he brushes past Alex he squeezes his hand.
“Lena Harris from Crawford and Langley is coming down tomorrow to help us look at our options.”
Alex’s eyes widen, and he pales even more; the purple smudges under his eyes look like bruises.
“She’s one of the best family law specialists in California okay?”
He squeezes Alex’s hand again and goes to change his shoes.
✽ ✽ ✽
Ben sets a glass of wine in front of Lena as she turns off her laptop and snaps it shut. He sits back next to Alex and nudges him; Alex hasn’t touched his own glass. Fiona offered to take girls for the afternoon and Alex came straight home from the clinic, arriving just after Lena. For ninety minutes they’ve talked about Alex’s life growing up, his attempted suicide, and his relationship with his parents. When he finally faltered, Ben took over, telling Lena about their relationship, the way Alex had nursed Allie at the end of her terminal cancer battle, their decisions around the girl’s conceptions.
“I know you have your own pet lawyer, Alex but do you have any questions?” Lena asks, crossing her legs as she settles back in her chair. Ben cocks his head as he waits for Alex’s answer.
“Actually, yeah, I do,” Alex says, brushing his hair out of his eyes. “Do you think we can win?”
Ben tries to protest but Lena interrupts him.
“I really want to say yes, just so you can get some sleep because it looks like you could use it,” she says, and Ben nods, “but I don’t think it’s going to be that easy. It should be, but I’ll be honest, the fact that Martin has granted interim visitation and vacated the restraining order bothers me. I’m going to have to follow that up and see what precedents there are. Probably the biggest thing in our favor at the moment is the fact that she didn’t try to make contact until now.”
“She wasn’t happy when the judge said she had to see both girls,” Ben says.
“She’ll just argue genetics,” Alex says. Ben sighs at the despondent tone and shifts so he can take Alex’s hands in his own.
“Listen to me, Alex, she can say whatever the fuck she likes, we’re going to win this, right Lena?”
He’s disappointed when instead of affirming his statement, Lena puts her glass down and purses her lips.
“I’m not going to commit to anything here, not until I’ve been able to get a look at the transcripts and Martin’s official ruling. But,” she looks from Ben to Alex, picking her words, “I think our best chance is to argue that she was an emotionally abusive mother and that there is no indication she’s changed.”
“That would mean …”
“Yes, yes it would mean talking about what happened when you were a teenager. And if we can avoid it, we will Alex, I promise.”
“But you don’t think we can avoid it, do you?” Alex asks.
Lena sighs and shakes her head; in fact, she says, she thinks his parents will bring the subject up first, in an attempt to paint Alex as unstable.
“Best defense is a good offense and all that,” Lena says. Ben’s heart sinks, realizing there’s no chance of a quick fix. Alex stands and goes to the mantle, picks up a framed of photo of the two of them with the girls, taken at Ally’s birthday party. He studies it for a moment then turns back to face them, fury darkening his hazel eyes.
“We can’t afford to lose,” his voice cracks.
“Baby …”
“Ben, if we lose she’ll never stop. Never. This isn’t about the girls, this is about winning, and she’ll do whatever she has to do that. Ben, she is not having our children.”
Ben swallows, aware of Lena looking at him too. Cataloguing his own guilt, Ben crosses to him and takes the frame away, places it back on the mantle.
“Alex, that isn’t going to happen. I promise. Whatever she thinks she has, we can beat her, right Lena?”
Lena joins them at the mantle and gives them a gentle smile. Rubs Alex’s shoulder.
“Well you do have something she doesn’t,” she says. Ben raises an eyebrow, slipping an arm around Alex’s waist. “Me.”
✽ ✽ ✽
Alex wipes his mouth and shuts off the tap. Places his toothbrush in its place and drags his fingers through his hair. He turns the bathroom light off as he opens the door. Ben, sitting up in bed reading, sheet puddled around his waist, glances up.
“New pajamas?” he asks.
Alex gives him a small smile at the attempt at light heartedness. They are new, red tartan pants and his battered, old U2 shirt from the concert all those years ago. It’s soft and worn, feels familiar and comfortable. He pulls the sheet back and gets into bed. Watches Ben mark his place and put the book on the night table. When he turns back, he’s rubbing at his eyes and Alex notices they look red and sore.
“You need to get your eyes tested.”
“They’re fine,” Ben says, propping himself on one elbow, head on hand.
“They’re not fine, you need to get glasses. Stop being so vain.” Alex runs a finger down Ben’s cheek. “Thank you.”
Ben’s eyes widen in confusion and he asks what he’s being thanked for.
“Calling Lena, getting someone in who can help.”
It’s Alex’s turn to look confused when Ben blushes and lowers his eyes.
“I should have called her on Friday,” he says quietly. “She might have been able to stop this.”
Alex sighs.
“It’s not your fault, I know that, even if I sounded like I was blaming you yesterday,” he picks at a stray thread on the sheet. “It’s just …. I kind of need you to be my husband at the moment, not my lawyer.”
“I’m sorry,” Ben whispers.
Alex shakes his head. Reaches across Ben to turn out the lamp and rests his head on his chest, hand over his heart.
“Tell me we’re going to be okay.”
“We’re going to be okay,” Ben says against his head. “I love you, Alex.”
Alex swallows and tightens his hold on Ben.
“I love you back.”
✽ ✽ ✽