18
Ben sits between Lena and Alex, putting as much distance between Alex and his parents as he can. Robert stands at the end of the table, hand in pocket eyeing them both with naked curiosity; probably trying to price their suits Ben decides and resists the urge to lean around Lena and raise his middle finger at the man. He’s tempted to get the keys to the new Mercedes out of his pocket and dangle them in his direction but decides against it. He settles for stretching his arm around Alex’s shoulders and smiling at Robert.
Janice, in her typical formal morning dress and heels, is reading a small book that Ben has no doubt is a bible. Already seated when Lena had led them into the room, she hasn’t bothered to acknowledge them or even lift her head to look at them. Personally, he doesn’t care, is in fact happier being ignored by her, but he hates what she’s doing to Alex. Even after eight years he can’t reconcile her or her husband with the man he loves; how in the hell did he end up the gentle, shy, loving, overgrown marshmallow that he is, he wonders not for the first time. More importantly how can she treat him this way? Alex is a good man. Slow to anger and quick to blame himself, he’s kind and loving with a quirky sense of humor and a sharp intelligence that takes people by surprise. Best of all, becoming a parent has brought out a calm confidence that Ben thrills at. That Janice has sent him spiraling back into self-doubt and fear leaves Ben shaking with fury.
As if his anger has attracted her attention, Janice finally lifts her head and looks at them. Ben narrows his eyes and tightens his hold on Alex. Startled from his own thoughts, Alex leans forward to see what has caught Ben’s attention and slumps back immediately when he sees his mother.
“Relax. Just ignore her.”
“Yeah, okay.” Alex rakes his hair back away from his face with a sigh. Good, Ben thinks, that will piss her off; she hates that Alex still wears his hair long.
Before Ben can say anything more the judge enters.
✽ ✽ ✽
Ben grits his teeth as he listens to the lawyer lay out Janice’s argument. He has no illusions that this is all from Janice; Robert couldn’t care less about Alex or the girls.
“The Davises are upstanding members of the community, active members of their parish, and have never had any accusations laid in their name,” Sheppard’s voice is loud in the court room and Ben feels Alex tensing beside him. “The restraining order taken out by Alexander Davis and his husband, Ben Larsen, was the result of a family disagreement that was encouraged by Mr Davis and Mr Larsen to escalate. Had Mr and Mrs Davis been given the opportunity to calm down and grow accustomed to the situation, they are confident it would have resolved itself quickly and quietly.”
He can’t stop the sound that escapes and winces when Lena kicks his ankle. The judge glares at him and he nods his apology as Sheppard begins speaking again.
“Mr and Mrs Davis have no other grandchildren and are not getting any younger. Their eldest son, Matthew, has expressed no desire to have children. Therefore, the child Mr Davis has had with Ms Butler-Davis …”
“Excuse me judge, can I just interrupt?” Lena asks, standing up. “Mr Davis and Mr Larsen are legally married and have been for over five years and have had two children together. While the use of a surrogate is hardly a norm, it’s no more unusual that traditional adoption in today’s landscape. To pretend this is anything but a loving family is insult at best to Mr Davis and Mr Larsen and to their children.”
The judge nods before reminding Sheppard there are two children involved and Ben can’t resist leaning back to try and see Janice’s reaction, but she continues to stare straight ahead, face still and serious.
“I’ll rephrase that. The children from Mr Davis and Mr Larsen’s marriage,” the lawyer looks pained to have to use the word, “are my client’s only grandchildren and the youngest child is their only genetic relation after of course their two sons. My clients are simply requesting standard visitation and access rights. They would like to be able to see their granddaughters, have them come to stay on occasion, and to be able to be a part of their lives. Mr Davis and Mr Larsen are being quite unreasonable in their continued resistance to allow this to progress.”
Ben can see the panic in Alex’s face and slips his hand beneath the table to smooth it over his leg, hoping to settle him. He knows the lawyer sounds reasonable but that’s the man’s job, to make his clients sound reasonable.
“Well that’s what we’re here to ascertain isn’t it Mr Sheppard? Let’s hear Ms Harris present her counter opening and then we can get this underway.”
Lena stands. She’s a formidable figure in a forest green suit and matching high heels Ben knows were custom made for her and that give her already tall frame an extra six inches. Her black framed glasses are pushed up onto the top of her head, short silver hair spiking around them. She stands, waits a few moments, moving paper around the table, then clears her voice.
“Judge Martin, I have known Alex Davis and Ben Larsen for several years. Mr Larsen was a junior partner at Crawford and Langley when they met and like everyone else I have been lucky enough to witness their relationship. That relationship is quite special – as is their marriage and their family. Mr Davis did not have a loving childhood. What Mr Sheppard refers to as a misunderstanding began in his mid-teens when he realized he was homosexual. Mr and Mrs Davis refused to accept or support this fact and the misunderstanding as Mr Sheppard calls it resulted in a seventeen-year-old Alex Davis trying to kill himself. Once he was physically recovered the rift deepened and Mr and Mrs Davis not only rejected his relationship with Mr Larsen but rejected their marriage,” Lena picks up the glass from in front of her and sips before continuing. “When they first heard of Alex and Ben’s decision to begin a family they wanted nothing to do with it, and this continued right up until they discovered that Lucy Davis-Larsen is in fact Alex’s biological daughter. This is not the plea of grandparents being denied their rights but of two people who have dominated, bullied, and abused my client, Alex Davis Larsen for most of his life and have found yet another way to continue to do so.”
Sheppard is on his feet trying to yell over Lena’s words but with no success. Janice alternates between glaring in their direction and muttering at him to no avail. Alex’s body is wracked by shivers and Ben rubs his thigh again.
“It’s okay baby, it’s okay.”
Alex opens his mouth to protest and then the judge smacks her gavel on her desk with a huff.
“We will take a ten-minute recess and I expect to see all of you back here and ready to talk.”
✽ ✽ ✽
“I thought we were holding back on the abuse unless we needed it.” Ben spins on his heel to glare at Lena the minute he hears the door shut behind her. Alex sinks to a chair, head in his hands, still shivering.
Lena drops her briefcase on the table and sits next to Alex, still speaking to Ben she reaches a hand out to rub his shoulder.
“We were, and we needed it then. Sheppard was trying to make you two out to be drama queens and I use the words deliberately. We can’t afford for Martin to think even in passing that the order was just the result of some overactive imagining on your part.” She peers around Alex, trying to see his face.
“Jesus, Lena you could have warned us,” Ben takes the chair on the other side of Alex and tugs the younger man’s hand away from his head to intertwine their fingers.
“If I could have, I would have,” Lena retorts, then purses her lips, “maybe. As it was, their reaction and the fact that you weren’t expecting it to be there already worked in our favor, I think.”
“You think?” Alex asks, looking up at her. Ben is surprised by the anger in his eyes. “This is my life. People are going to find out about it, my children are going to find out.”
“Alex, everybody in that room is bound by confidentiality, nobody is going to find out anything.”
Ben knows she’s trying to be reasonable, but he doubts Alex cares.
“If you really think my mother is going to give a fuck about confidentiality, you haven’t been listening,” Alex snaps. Ben raises his eyebrow at the expletive but says nothing. “You cornered her, and she is going to want a pound of flesh for that. If she can’t get it in there, she’ll have no problem getting it elsewhere.”
Lena says nothing, just flicks her eyes from Alex’s to Ben’s and Ben can read the doubt in them.
“Lena, you have to understand. She told me to my face in front of a crowded room that I would burn in hell for getting engaged to Ben. On my birthday. And let’s not forget she stood in the doorway while I dragged a razor blade across my wrist and did nothing to stop me. Told my brother she wished he’d let me die.” Alex pauses to catch his breath and Ben runs his fingers through the shaggy hair. Isn’t surprised to find it damp with sweat. “I get what you did. I get why you did it. But I don’t think you get how much my mother hates me and how vicious she can be. So, you’ll excuse me if I’m not thrilled about it, okay?”
Lena nods and murmurs an apology. Alex stands, letting go of Ben’s hand and rubs his hands down his pants.
“I need to use the bathroom,” he says turning to the door.
“You okay?” Ben asks even though he knows the answer.
“No.”
When he’s gone, Lena turns back to him, ready to speak but Ben holds his hand up.
“No, Lena he’s right, she’s vicious and she’s going to take it out of his hide. Whatever else you may or may not think about us, you need to be very clear about this.” He jerks his thumb in the direction of the door. “That man, believes it is all his fault, even now. He’s been covering up for her his entire life and right up until we had the girls - hell even since then - he’s been trying to fix things. This shit storm is not his doing, okay?”
Lena nods.
“Okay, I understand tha…”
“I somehow doubt it, but all we can do is hope you don’t have to experience her in full flight.” Ben smiles. “Lena you’re one of the best family court lawyers in the state, and we don’t want anyone else here with us, but you have got to be careful with her. Do not underestimate her.”
“Noted,” she says with a wry smile. “Is Alex alright?”
“Probably spewing his guts up but that’s hardly new. Just hasn’t happened in a while. In fact, it hasn’t happened since before Ally was born and within hours of her showing up we were back at square one. You know, people look at him and all they see is how big he is. How fit he seems. How he fills a room. They don’t see anything else. They don’t see what she did to him. They don’t see what I see.”
“Oh God, Ben I’m sorry ….”
“Yeah, well, everybody’s sorry but that doesn’t really help, does it?” Ben licks his lips trying to claw back control.
“What do you see, Ben?”
“Huh?”
“Tell me what you see when you look at him.”
Ben frowns and scratches his cheek. Takes a deep breath.
“The first time I saw him was at a U2 concert. We were in the merch tent. He was so fucking tall, you couldn’t miss him, but he looked like he was trying to make himself invisible. Anyway, we ended up waiting for the gates to open together and the thing I remember is how when he smiled there were these dimples and his whole face changed. He didn’t look scared or like he was trying to hide anymore, and it was … I don’t know…. Breathtaking.”
He pauses to look at her and is surprised when she nods at him.
“I’ve seen that smile. Usually he’s looking at you,” she says. “Ben, I’m sorry. Truly. I didn’t mean to scare him, or you, and I promise I’ll try not to do it again.”
Before Ben can answer her phone chimes and she glances at the screen, then back at him.
“Okay time to gather him up and head back in.”
✽ ✽ ✽