16
Ben offers Matt another beer before dropping onto the recliner next to Alex. He leans back against the cushions and watches Alex from behind his sunglasses, frowns at the sharp jut of cheek bone. He knows Alex is having trouble keeping food down and that he’s not eating anywhere near enough. Not for the first time he wishes his mother or Polly was here. They would know what to do, how to fix this. It’s not like he can force feed the man, is it? Is it? Of course not, he tells himself, pushing the thought away and running his hand up Alex’s back. How would he force feed a six-foot five slab of muscle? Wait a few weeks and when the case is in full swing and he’s really not eating, there won’t be much muscle, a voice that sounds disturbingly like Polly’s whispers in the back of his mind. Claire’s voice pulls him from his thoughts and he looks at her over the top of his glasses.
“I still don’t understand how she found out,” Claire’s saying, “it’s not like any of us told her. You didn’t tell her did you, brat?”
“No,” Alex says, and Ben can hear the weary edge to his defensiveness.
Matt rolls his eyes and Ben is torn. He knows Alex feels guilty about not announcing the births formally to his parents, but he agrees with Matt. It’s ridiculous. The whole thing is ridiculous - Janice made her position clear and Alex’s insistence on taking the high road only antagonizes her. It would have changed nothing; he’s sure of that.
“Look however the hell she found out, is immaterial. The point is she’s being a bitch, which is hardly out of character, am I right?” he says, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “So, we just have to deal. I’m really sorry that it means getting you guys involved, but it’s not like she’s leaving any of us any choice.”
Matt shakes his head, but Ben notices his eyes don’t leave Alex. He and Claire arrived about twenty minutes after Janice and Robert drove away with the girls. The timing had been deliberate, in part to avoid Ally chattering to her grandparents about Uncle Matt and Aunt Claire and innocently angering the volatile woman that is her grandmother.
“You know we’re with you on this, Ben.” Matt taps Alex’s ankle with his foot. When his brother looks up, he continues. “And you, pull it together. You look like you died and didn’t get the memo. Eat something.”
“I am eating,” Alex protests but they can all see the truth in the hollows of his cheeks and the pallor of his skin.
“Well you’re not eating enough. Don’t make me force feed you lasagna and cheesecake.”
“Fuck off,” Alex says without heat and Ben is pleased to see a genuine smile finally.
“Hey, you can force feed me,” he offers and grins when he hears Alex huff a quiet ‘idiot’ next to him. He looks at his watch. “They’ll be here in about five minutes. I have to give her this, she’s nothing if not punctual.”
Both Matt and Alex scowl and exchange a glance he doesn’t understand but say nothing. Ben wonders if the nightmare will ever end.
✽ ✽ ✽
Alex is half way down the side of the house the moment they hear the car arrive and Ben has to jog to catch up. Janice is already out of the car and opening the back door when they arrive, and Alex comes to such an abrupt halt that Ben walks into him. When he looks over Alex’s shoulder, his mouth drops open in shock.
Ally is climbing from the car, small face pale and streaked with tears, eyes swollen from crying. Her beloved Frozen sneakers are clutched to her chest and on her feet are shiny black Mary Janes; the denim overalls she left home in are nowhere to be seen, replaced by a plain but expensive looking pale blue pinafore. When Ben finally looks at Ally’s head, his breath catches and he’s aware of the low keening sound coming from Alex. The long blonde braids, ending in red ribbons are gone. Ally’s hair has been cut into a short, sharp bob at chin level.
“What did you do?” Alex yells and with that Ally darts to him, sobbing. “How dare you cut her hair?”
Ben is shaken from his shocked stupor by an angry wail from the back seat and he runs to get Lucy and the car seats.
“That child is spoiled and ungrateful,” Janice is saying behind him. “And was in need of decent clothes and a haircut. I don’t expect you to be grateful, I’m quite used to your lack of gratitude and I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised about the child’s appalling behavior all things considered. It just proves my point that it’s time someone stepp…”
Alex gathers their sobbing daughter in his arms and strides forward.
“Get off my property,” he snarls at his mother.
“Don’t you …”
“I said, get the fuck off our property. I will see you in court on Friday.”
“Not exactly yours is it though?” Robert drawls over the roof of the car. “It’s his.”
The words shake Ben from his shock and he turns on him.
“Actually, my mother left this house to the both of us, so it is his property.” He’s aware of Alex retreating with a still sobbing Ally and tightens his grip on Lucy’s capsule. “Now you heard what my husband said, we’ll see you in court.”
✽ ✽ ✽
“Hey, hey come on, shhhhhh, it’s okay,” Alex murmurs against Ally’s head. “It’s okay baby girl, it’s okay.”
Ally shakes her head and burrows deeper against him.
“It’ll grow back, Ally I promise.” He rubs her back and watches Ben sit down, retrieve a bottle from the diaper bag, shake it and test it, decide it’s okay, and offer Lucy the teat. She latches on immediately, her cries calming to snuffles. The door swings open and Matt and Claire join them.
“Now it’s not like Elsa’s anymore,” Ally stutters against Alex’s shoulder. “I don’t look like Elsa anymore. And ...and... she threw away my tee-shirt.”
Alex frowns, trying to remember which tee-shirt she’d been wearing. It comes to him then, the My Little Pony tee-shirt was old, but Ally wasn’t ready to part with it just yet. Rage boils beneath his skin. He supposes they should be grateful she let her keep her sneakers and that the denim overalls must be somewhere. Still making soothing noises to Ally, he unbuckles the shoes and drops them on the floor in disgust.
“You don’t have to wear them, baby girl.” He presses a kiss to her forehead. “And you know what? You’re right, you don’t look like Elsa anymore, but you do look a lot like Olly.”
Suspicion writes itself across the damp, blotchy face and she scrubs the back of her hand beneath her nose.
“O...Olly’s hair was pink.”
Alex nods.
“Yeah and when you’re a grown up you might decide to have pink hair too. But you look just like her.”
Ben stands and gives the still suckling Lucy to Claire, who settles back in the armchair to feed her, then comes to kneel next to them.
“Daddy’s right munchkin, you do look like Olly. And we can get you a new tee-shirt.”
“I didn’t want my hair cut,” Ally says, leaning against Alex, turning large, green eyes to him. “I don’t like your mommy, daddy.”
He doesn’t know what to say to that and looks to Ben for help, but it’s Matt who answers.
“That’s okay, little one, none of us do. But you know what?” He leans forward and tips her head back with one finger. “You’re still beautiful no matter what she did.”
Alex feels her tense and after a second, she reaches to tug on the end of her braid then realizing it’s not there, lets her hand fall back down. A feeling of dread creeps over him.
“Ally? What’s wrong sweetheart?” he asks.
“She…. she said she’s not really my grandmother,” a large tear slides across her nose to fall on his hand. “And that…”
With a wail she flings herself into Ben’s arms, clutching at his shoulders. Confused, Alex reaches out to stroke her hair.
“Ally, what happened?”
✽ ✽ ✽
Ben looks at Alex over Ally’s head, unsure what to say or do. Distraught, Ally is sobbing again, tears and snot soaking into his shirt. Pain fills Alex’s eyes at the loss and Ben knows without asking that Alex thinks he is responsible for the pitiful crying. He eases her back, so he can look her in the eye, taking care to keep his movements gentle and slow.
“Ally, what did your grandmother do? Did she hurt you?”
A low sound, not unlike one of Bart’s growls, escapes Alex and Ben shakes his head, hoping to calm him. Ally shakes her head.
“Then what happened? Come on munchkin, you need to tell us.”
Ally turns her head, so she can peer out at Alex, tears still streaming down her cheeks.
“She said daddy isn’t my daddy. That he’s not my anything. And ….and…. that papa isn’t Lucy’s papa. And ...and….” Her voice breaks and Ben pulls her to his chest, stroking her hair and murmuring against her head, watching as all the fight leaves Alex, face pale and eyes wide and wounded.
It’s Claire who rescues them. She leans forward, Lucy propped against her shoulder and turns Ally’s face toward her.
“Ally, listen to me,” she ignores everyone else, “that’s not true. Your daddy is your daddy and Lucy’s daddy and your papa is your papa and Lucy’s papa. Don’t you ever let anyone tell you they’re not. I’ve known your daddy for a very long time and I know he loves you and Lucy and papa more than anything in the whole world and your grandmother is just being mean. Don’t you listen to her, okay. She’s wrong and your papa and your daddy are going to do everything they can, so you don’t have to listen to her anymore, okay?”
Ben flashes her a grateful smile and fumbles for Alex’s hand. Squeezes it. Pulls him toward them and wraps his arm around the pair. Ally leans against Alex but doesn’t leave Ben’s lap and he sees the flash of pain in Alex’s eyes. He cups his face, rubbing his cheek with his thumb.
✽ ✽ ✽
Ben rests his hand on Alex’s shoulder, waiting for the story to be finished. When Alex lays the book on the night table, he kneels beside him, so they can both kiss Ally goodnight.
“When your ...grandmother …. cut your hair, what did you do baby girl? Did you ask her not to?” he asks, ignoring the glare he’s getting from Alex.
Ally nods, eyes filling with tears. Alex tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and whispers to her that it’s okay, don’t cry.
“Did you say anything else? It’s okay you can tell us if you used a bad word, you won’t be in trouble.”
“Ben, wha …” Alex begins but Ben holds his hand up.
“Munchkin, I promise nobody will be mad at you. Did you tell your grandmother that you don’t like her or that’s she’s mean or anything like that?” Deep down he hopes she did, hopes she asserted her voice in the face of the old cow’s spite, but he can’t help but grin when he sees the look of disbelief on her face. A look that suggests that one of the two of them is insane and it’s not her. Screw genetics he thinks, that look is pure Alex, he’s seen it nearly every day for eight years, and is pretty sure that if he looks at him, he’ll see it now. Ally might have his confident and forward nature, but it’s tempered by Alex’s sense of propriety.
“That would be rude, papa,” she says, eyes cutting to Alex and whatever she sees there makes her relax and reach out for him.
“Yes, it would, good girl,” Ben kisses her still feverish face. “I love you, munchkin, sleep tight.”
“I love you papa,” she whispers, smiling up at him for a moment before looking back at Alex. Satisfied, he sits back on his heels to wait.
Alex swallows and leans forward. Ben can feel the tension in Alex’s body and rubs his hand up the back of his calf; he hasn’t seen Alex like this in years and for a second, hatred for Janice flares bright and sharp in his chest.
“I love you daddy,” Ally whispers, wrapping pudgy arms around his neck.
“I love you back,” Alex clutching her to him, “so much Ally.”
“Daddy?”
“Yeah, baby girl?”
“Can we go to the park tomorrow? With Uncle Matt and Aunt Claire and get ice cream?”
Alex smiles.
“Yeah, we can do that. But you have to snuggle down and go to sleep now, okay?”
Ally nods and tucks her arms under the covers. Ben can see sleep creeping up on her already; he waits while Alex kisses her again, does the same himself, and stands to lead him from the room.
✽ ✽ ✽
Alex sinks onto the sofa and accepts the glass of wine from Matt. Drags his hand over his face and closes his eyes. There’s a soft whomp of sound as Ben sits next to him, cushions dipping and sighing as he settles. Alex opens one eye, watches him sip his scotch, and closes it again.
“Alex, are you okay?” Claire asks finally breaking the heavy silence.
He considers the question for a moment before opening his eyes and shifting closer to Ben, pulling his arm around his shoulders. That Matt doesn’t tease him for the first time ever, isn’t lost on him, and he sighs.
“No,” he says, aware he’s probably making things even more uncomfortable than they already are and unable to stop himself. “I hate what she’s doing to us and I hate what she did to Ally today, and I hate that she’s allowed anywhere near the kids. I hate that she’s got that judge convinced that somehow, she has some sort of right to see them and do this. I hate her. So, no, I’m not okay.”
Ben tightens his hold on him and Alex leans back to look at him.
“What was all that about just now? With Ally?” he asks.
“What do you mean?”
Ben’s reaching for his glass again, tone light, but Alex isn’t fooled. He knows Ben knows what he’s talking about.
“Why did you want to know what Ally said to her?”
Ben withdraws his arm, glances at Claire and Matt, and leans forward, clearing his throat.
“I’m going to call Lena in the morning to let her know what happened and I need to be able to tell her what Ally said during the incident.”
“Why?”
From the corner of his eye, Alex sees Claire slide to the floor, back up against Matt’s legs, and lean forward to find out what he’s talking about. Ben sighs.
“Because the judge is going to want to know how much of this is a four-year-old acting up or …”
“What the fuck do you mean acting up?” Alex demands, lowering his voice when Ben jerks his head toward the stairs. “How in the hell is this Ally’s fault?”
“Calm down. I didn’t say it was. I’m saying that in the big scheme of things the judge is going to see a haircut and some clothes, and we need to be able to prove …”
“Prove? Prove?” Alex’s voice is rising again but this time it’s Claire who responds by leaning over and slapping the back of his head. He glares at her.
“Damn it, Alex, stop snarling at him. It’s not Ally’s fault and Ben’s not saying it is.” Anger flashing in her blue eyes. “Give the guy a break.”
He opens his mouth to protest, snaps it shut again and feels a blush creeping up his cheeks.
“Sorry,” he mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Look,” Ben takes his hand, “I know it makes no sense, but we have to stop her being able to downplay this to nothing more than an overzealous grandmother not realizing she overstepped or using it to make us out to be incapable, okay?”
“Jesus, Ben, do you really think that’s what she’s doing?” Alex feels sick.
“I don’t know what the fuck she’s doing, baby. I just know that she’s a bitch and what she did today was deliberate. She wanted to hurt you and she did.”
“Ally…”
“Ally’s four,” Ben interrupts, “you’re her daddy and she adores you, everyone knows that. She’ll be fine. It’s you, the bitch is after, and she’s not scared to use Ally to do it.”
Matt leans forward in his chair and speaks for the first time.
“He’s not wrong. She’s trying to goad you, just like she always fucking does.”
Alex pales and turns to Ben in a panic remembering how he’d spoken to his mother before bringing Ally indoors.
“I told her to get the fuck off our property,” he whispers, sounding and feeling miserable.
“Yeah, and I was proud of you. Don’t worry about it. I’ll talk to Lena tomorrow.”
✽ ✽ ✽
Only the sound of Bart shifting in his basket breaks the silence in their bedroom; Alex stares at the ceiling, unable to sleep. Beside him, Ben’s breathing is soft but not yet the slow, regular sound that comes with sleep. Sighing Alex shifts onto his side and finds himself looking into green eyes.
“I can hear you thinking,” Ben whispers and smiles. It’s small and sad and a wave of emotion crashes over Alex.
“Why can’t she just leave us alone?” he asks, aware he sounds like a child.
“I don’t know,” Ben reaches for him, “but it’s going to be okay. We’ve got Lena on our side. We’re going to be fine.”
“Are we?”
“Yes,” Ben’s voice is firm and confident. “Yes, I promise.”
Still not convinced but unwilling to admit it to Ben, Alex nods. Okay.
“Alex, I love you.”
For a moment, Alex studies his face, barely visible in the light from the window.
“Show me,” he says finally, craving reassurance, safety, love.
Ben leans forward, smoothing his hand through Alex’s hair and brushes his mouth over Alex’s. Chaste at first, the kiss deepens, and when Alex feels Ben’s tongue sweep over his lower lip, he opens his mouth to let him in. Rolls onto his back, urging Ben over with him, desperate and needy.
“It’s okay, I’ll take care of you.” Ben gropes on the night table for something before kissing him again. Alex sighs against his mouth, lets his hand settle on the smooth arc of a buttock. Moans when he feels Ben’s erection press against his thigh and arches against, thrilling at Ben’s shudder. Even now, even after all this time, he loves that he can make Ben react like this.
Ben pulls back only a little, enough to allow them to breathe but without breaking the kiss. Alex lifts his legs, locks them around Ben’s waist and tilts up. He’s diamond hard and even with the soft cotton of his pajama pants between them, he whimpers when Ben’s cock brushes against him.
“Shhhhh, it’s okay baby, it’s okay,” Ben soothes. Slides his hand beneath the waistband, long fingers, slick with lube, searching and caressing. He continues gentle probing, until, frustrated, Alex rocks himself down onto them, with a growl.
“Please, Ben, please,” he pleads against Ben’s mouth, as he moves. “Please, love me.”
Ben quiets him by kissing him again, fingers scissoring and opening him. Alex shivers, pulling Ben closer, whining in frustration. Skin against skin, damn it, he wants to feel skin and he lets go of Ben to tug at his tee-shirt, while Ben pulls his pajama pants off him.
For a moment, Ben sits back on his heels, thumbs drawing circles over the soft skin of Alex’s thighs. Then Alex is reaching up to pull him forward, until his body stretches out against Alex’s, mouths locked together. Alex guides him, catching his breath and breaking the kiss as Ben breaches him; head tipped back, eyes squeezed shut as his body accepts the burn and drag and adjusts.
Finally, Ben begins to move, and Alex opens his eyes, unwilling to miss it. He wants to see Ben’s face, doesn’t want to lose a second of this. Trembling and whimpering, he holds on to Ben as tight as he can as if he’ll disappear if he doesn’t. Or maybe he, Alex, will disappear, he’s not sure but he doesn’t want to risk it.
Ben rocks into him with ease and gentle familiarity, one hand tangled in Alex’s hair and the other wriggling between them to curl around Alex’s cock. He moans and arches into the touch, digging his fingers into Ben’s hips, knows he’s probably going to see his fingertips bruised into the skin and shame skitters through him, until Ben grinds against him, twisting his hand at the same time, making Alex gasp.
“Ben… oh…. God….”
Ben smiles down at him and Alex can see the pleasure in his eyes, not just from the love making but from his reaction.
“You like that?” he asks, rocking forward again, harder this time, and completing the movement with another firm twist of the hand holding Alex’s hard length. Biting his lip, unable to speak, Alex nods and is rewarded with another sharp thrust.
“Yes, yes, yes,” he chants as a deeper, stronger pleasure begins to corkscrew through him, finally blocking out all thought of his mother. “Ben…. yes.”
“It’s okay, baby, I’ve got you,” Ben whispers and speeds his movements up until the sensation is too much for Alex to bear.
“Oh God, Ben I’m going to come,” he groans, legs tightening around Ben and eyes slamming shut. “Ben … now.”
His body locks tight as his orgasm rocks him and worried he’ll wake the girls, he bites down on Ben’s shoulder, muffling the sound. Ben tenses and curses, hips stuttering and losing rhythm and he drops forward, burying his face against Alex’s neck. Before Alex can do anything more, there’s a low, rich growl and Alex can feel him pulse and quiver as he comes.
They lay, tangled for several moments, hearts racing, breathing ragged, and Alex tightens his hold over Ben’s back, reluctant to let him go. Ben lifts up on his elbows and Alex looks at him, cheeks blazing, chest tight with emotion.
“I’m scared,” he whispers.
“I know,” Ben says and kisses him, this time with no heat, just love.
✽ ✽ ✽