The following morning, Kate was up and out of her room before the alarm could go off. Jamie had refused to speak to her since their disastrous lunch date, and she wasn’t going to try again till the end of the day. Jamie on a morning gave Kevin the Teenager a run for his money, even on a good day – and she didn’t want to start her morning with an argument. She had a full day ahead with Cooper, and she couldn’t pretend that she wasn’t elated. She had been up late tossing and turning thinking about her fight with Trevor too, the two spinning around in her mind. Dressing up in her uniform, clipboard in hand, she felt in control again. A welcome distraction from the colossal mess that was her personal life.
Her solicitor had said that she would be in touch when the papers were served to Neil, but as the days went on, she was beginning to wonder whether the court was finding it as difficult to track him down as she was. She wondered if he had been back down to the house again, if he had seen that she had taken Jamie’s and her things away. It would be obvious as soon as he walked through their old threshold that she had been, and that she wouldn’t be coming back. She wondered what he felt, or if he felt anything at all, when he saw the missing photographs on the wall. The ones left behind told the story. Wedding photos, still framed up on the wall, surrounded by empty hooks where photos of Jamie and them once stood. She had taken them for Jamie, in case he wanted them when he was older, but the day she married that man was not one she needed a memento from. There were some in the family albums, she would save them too for their son, but the others on the wall she found she could not bear to touch.
She knew that she would cross paths with Trevor today, and she had to face that, too. He wasn’t going to let this lie, and she missed his friendship, however weird things were right now. She had few friends as it was, and losing Trevor wasn’t something she wanted to think about. Plus, she needed this job, so they would have to make it work. So many people seemed to be mad at her at the moment, or avoiding her altogether, and she was glad that Cooper wasn’t one of them.
Walking into the therapy suite, she noticed that he hadn’t arrived yet, so she sat down at the table, looking through his file. She saw that he had just had a routine physical check-up. His medical records talked of his scarring from the injuries to his torso, his amputation and mental profile, all done through the army medic specialists. It seemed that he had told them of his phantom limb pain recently, and discussed the fact that it was improving by using techniques from his therapist, named as her. She smiled, thinking of just how far he had come, both mentally and physically. She flipped the page and noticed that Cooper had requested another check, one for sexual health reasons. The blood froze in her veins. Sexual check-up? She was just about to read further when Cooper rode through the door, a large box resting on his lap.
‘Morning,’ she said hurriedly, dropping the file on the floor in her haste to get up. Cooper wheeled over to her, quick as a flash, setting the box on the table. A waft of breakfast smells filled the air, but Kate was too busy scrambling to her knees to notice. He came alongside her, helping her to pick up some papers.
‘Whoa, you okay?’ he asked gently, shuffling the documents into a small neat pile. ‘Where’s the fire?’
‘No fire!’ she squeaked. She cleared her throat, aware that an explosion of colour had filled her cheeks. ‘Er … nothing’s wrong, I was just checking the paperwork was up to date.’
He looked at her, passing her the papers with a slight frown. ‘See something bad in there?’
She realised he was nervous, but was it from guilt, or something else? Was he embarrassed?
‘No, nothing bad,’ she said, in a falsely calm voice. ‘Why, is there something you need to tell me?’
She searched his face for answers, but he wasn’t looking her in the eye.
‘No, nothing I need to tell you.’ She nodded.
‘Coffee’s getting cold,’ he said, turning away to the table.
She picked up one of the cups, smiling when she realised he had got her favourite caramel coffee.
‘Thanks, I needed this today.’
Cooper shrugged at her, drinking from his own cup.
‘So, she said, suddenly anxious to fill the silence that seemed to fill the space between them once more. ‘Ready to practise with the leg again?’
He looked her straight in the eye. ‘I asked the doctor for a test.’
‘Oh,’ she said, wishing she could shrink down into her cup and drown herself in the hot beverage. ‘Why, were you worried about something?’
He frowned at her. ‘You read my file, don’t pretend you didn’t.’
‘I did,’ she retorted. ‘I am a doctor though, so I used my discretion. It has nothing to do with your leg, so it isn’t my business.’
He scowled then. ‘It isn’t, eh? Well fine and dandy then, isn’t it. Let’s just get on with the damn session.’
Kate sighed inwardly. She had upset him now, and her questions about his request for some tests not only went unanswered, but they picked at her. She wanted to know so badly, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of asking now. And what if she didn’t want to know? She knew what some soldiers were like, but she hadn’t seen hide nor hair of a woman since she met Cooper, and she remembered his wallet when he was injured. Plenty of friends in there, but no photos or numbers for a woman. That didn’t mean that there weren’t any though. She knew herself how attractive he was. Plenty of women out there would be after a man like him. She pursed her lips, almost crushing the coffee cup in her fist as she busied herself with her clipboard. Well, let some other daft woman put up with his moods, she grumbled to herself. See how they would cope. She was pretty sure the average dolly bird type would bring him back within the hour, bemoaning his strange sullen moods and foul temper.
‘What’s up with you now?’ he asked gruffly, bringing her back to the present and proving the point she was trying to make to herself without even realising it.
‘Nothing,’ she spat back. ‘Like you said, it’s none of my business. Let them put up with you!’
She slammed the clipboard onto the table, and flounced over to the equipment area, flinging the rubber mats to the floor haphazardly.
‘Let who put up with me?’ he asked, tussling with his prosthetic.
‘Them!’ she squeaked, kicking a medicine ball to the bars at the other side of the room in a temper. ‘Let them deal with you, see how they like trying to get on with you. I bet none of them will last long!’
Cooper was in her face then, as he grabbed her arm and whirled her around to face him. She pulled her hand away from his grasp, trying to get away, but he grabbed her again with a tug. His eyes pinned her in place with their fury, and she scrunched hers up to match. She wanted to punch him, but he grabbed her other arm before she got the chance.
‘Pack it in Missy, I don’t know who you’re talking about, but you are pissing me off!’ She went to kick him, but stopped herself when she saw his leg.
‘Cooper, you’re standing.’
‘Yes, damn right I am. Now tell me what you are talking about!’
‘No!’ she exclaimed, relaxing her arms and turning her hands to clasp around his. ‘You’re standing up! You walked over to me!’
Cooper wobbled a second then, as he realised. His expression changed from anger to pure joy and he started to laugh. Kate laughed too then, and they both stood there for a long time, laughing like crazy, happy people, their hands wrapped in each other’s. She brushed away a tear from her face, and Cooper pulled her other hand in close, wrapping his left arm around her back tightly.
‘I’m only letting you hug me because you might fall over if I don’t,’ she said playfully. He pulled her a little closer, steadying himself.
‘That right?’ he teased. She felt his breath on her face as he moved in closer. He slowly, deliberately, rubbed his stubbly cheek against hers, making her shudder slightly. He kissed the tip of her ear, the movement making her neck tingle. ‘And what else would you let me do, to keep me on my feet?’
She was going to answer but when he rubbed his cheek against hers again, she couldn’t stand it any longer. She turned her face to meet his and kissed him hard. He didn’t miss a beat and kissed her right back. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him in, but he didn’t sway. He stood rock solid, meeting her passionate embrace with every bit of urgency that she felt. She wanted to rip his clothes off there and then, and she groaned to herself at the thought of stopping. Cooper mistook her grumble for a release of hormones, and he kissed her more ferociously. She took it as long as she could without boiling over, and then she wrenched her lips from his. He looked at her, disappointed, but seeing her as dishevelled as he was, he started to laugh again. They parted a little, Cooper again standing straight on his own.
‘We need that date,’ he said, the lust making his voice so thick it made Kate’s stomach lurch.
‘I know,’ she said, trying not to pant. ‘Tonight?’
‘Tonight,’ he agreed readily. ‘I’ll make the arrangements. Seven okay?’
Kate nodded. She would have gone at any time. ‘Shall we get on?’ she asked, brushing her hair back into place. He raised his eyebrows at her as he wiped his lips on the back of his hand.
‘Sure, but get on with what?’
Later that night, having been instructed to wear something warm, Kate was just slicking on some lipstick when there was a knock at her door. Expecting Cooper, she opened it with a smile. Trevor stood there, looking relieved. ‘I didn’t think you would be pleased to see me, I …’
He took in her casual but dressed up appearance and his smile faded, his jaw clenched.
‘Weren’t expecting me, were you?’ he said, deflated. Kate could see the air come out of him, his shoulders dropping with each word uttered. ‘Captain Cooper, is it?’
Kate looked past him, checking the corridor. It was empty thankfully. Trevor took this as an opportunity to slip past her, and he went and sat on her bed. A dress she had discarded earlier sat there, and he played with the hem between his fingers as he looked around the room. Kate stayed in the open doorway, not wanting to be in her room with Trevor alone. Not after that kiss. Especially not when she was expecting her date to come and pick her up at any moment. She felt like a teenager with a boy in her room, expecting to be found out by her parents. She looked at the clock on the wall pointedly. ‘Trevor, I don’t really have time at the moment, and I’m not on shift. What did you want, exactly?’
Trevor sighed then, shaking his head at Kate. ‘I don’t get it Kate, this isn’t you.’
‘What isn’t me?’ she asked, folding her arms over her chest defensively.
‘This, being so distant. I really thought that we were friends, and I did think—’
‘I know what you thought Trevor, you have already told me, but I don’t feel the same, and I’m not happy with you coming into my private space at night, to be honest.’
‘Oh,’ he said, getting louder. ‘But it’s okay for a patient to come into your room though?’
Kate took a step towards him, careful to keep one foot in the door. ‘A patient has never been in my room, not even Jamie, and you know that!’ She jabbed her finger at him angrily.
‘But for how long?’ he asked, his eyes pleading with her for an answer. She looked down at her feet then, as she couldn’t answer that question. Her conduct hadn’t exactly been exemplary when it came to the Captain. She blushed when she thought of earlier that day, and when she looked back at Trevor, she knew he had seen her reaction. He pushed himself roughly up off the bed and strode to the door. She moved aside for him, but he reached for her face instead. She jumped at the sudden contact, but he only placed his left palm on her cheek. She thought of Cooper’s cheek touching that very spot only that day and she moved her face away from his contact. Trevor dropped his hand to his side.
‘I get the message Kate, I do, but remember, I am still your boss.’
‘She knows that, so you can keep your hands to yourself in future.’ The voice came from behind Trevor, and Kate looked up to see Cooper sat in his chair in the corridor. He was dressed casually in jeans and a chunky dark green wool sweater that made his eyes stand out even more than usual. Trevor bristled next to her as he turned to face his opponent.
‘And what business is it of yours?’ Trevor demanded.
Cooper looked at him intently, like a starving hunter looks at a rabbit caught in his trap, and he flashed his teeth in a wide grin.
‘Well, this afternoon I requested a new therapist, as you will see when you crawl back to your hole, so I guess it’s none of my business as a patient, you have me there.’ Trevor grimaced at Cooper’s words and Kate saw his fist clench at his side. ‘But,’ Cooper continued, the same lazy grin showing. He was enjoying this, Kate thought to herself. ‘My problem is that I am dating this woman, and I have an issue with another man putting his hands on her, especially since I know she doesn’t want you.’
Cooper looked at Kate then, and she saw now that behind his easy smile, he was mad. ‘You ready to go, Kate?’ he asked, softer now. ‘The car’s waiting.’
Kate nodded dumbly, grabbing her bag from a hook and pushing closed her door, forcing Trevor to shuffle away. She stood next to Cooper and he took her hand in his. Trevor was gone when she dared to look over her shoulder as they walked away.
Cooper’s hand was clammy, and he looked flustered. ‘What’s the matter, are you in pain?’ Kate asked, suddenly concerned. Cooper stopped his chair and turned to her.
‘No, no pain,’ he said, dropping a kiss into her palm. ‘Trevor might have been in some though if he had left his hand on you any longer.’ Kate slapped him on the arm and he laughed loudly.
‘You are such a male chauvinist pig.’
Cooper winked at her, slapping her on the bottom as they walked to the main door. ‘Yep, and you love it.’
Dinner was lovely, and now she understood just why he wanted her to dress warm. They’d been driven to a small family pub on the canal, a homely place with tiny bookshelves and knick-knacks on the walls, a roaring fire in the corner. It was such a relaxed place, couples eating, families having meals together, a few groups of drinkers milling around. They ordered stodgy pub food, and Kate cleared her plate even faster than Cooper did. At one point she looked up from her food to find him watching her open mouthed. She blushed, taking another bite, this time resisting the urge to shovel it in.
‘Want a trough?’ he teased. She rolled her eyes, mouth full of food. ‘And you say I am the pig,’ he added chuckling. He laughed even harder when she gave him the V sign. The food was lovely at the centre, but her body had been crying out for a bit of something different than perfectly balanced nutritional meals, or the one salad a day she had lived on in the weeks after the accident. She made a mental note to bring Jamie here one day, when things got better.
‘So,’ she said when she finally drew breath. ‘Is this the sort of thing you would normally do with your dates, take them to the pub?’ She took a sip of wine as she sat back on the comfy sofa. Having finished their meal, they had moved closer to the fire, taking a bottle with them. Cooper had surprised her by having a glass with her. ‘And wine drinking, I didn’t see you doing that.’
Cooper sat down next to her, his chair discreetly put in the corner by a helpful waitress. His prosthetic limb was doing well, and he seemed more relaxed than she had seen him for a while, if ever. His shoulder brushed against hers as he got comfy, and she didn’t move away.
‘Well, first of all, I didn’t really do dating, so I don’t have a dating plan. And men can drink wine, I actually enjoy a glass now and then. Not when I am … was, serving, obviously.’
Something flashed momentarily across his face, a wince maybe, and Kate waited for him to come back to her, back to the present. He smiled at her eventually, taking another gulp of wine.
‘So, no dating, ever?’ she asked, both delighted and terrified by the fact that he was so inexperienced in this area.
‘Nope,’ he said, looking right at her. ‘I have had my fair share of women, but you know the life, it’s best to have no attachments.’
Kate ignored the uneasy feeling she got in her gut.
‘Till now,’ he added then, putting his hand over hers. He ran his thumb over the back of her hand in lazy circles, and took her hand in his, kissing her palm.
‘You mean that? I mean, we didn’t really have the best start, did we?’
Cooper pulled her closer to him on the sofa, putting his arm around her. She caught a whiff of his aftershave as he tucked her into his side. The warmth from his body made hers tingle.
‘We didn’t have the meet cute of legends, no, but who does? We’ve been through a lot together, and we know what we want. I do, anyway. I know you have other options to consider.’
She looked at him in surprise but she could see that he was dying to laugh. ‘That’s not funny,’ she said, miffed enough to jab him in the ribs with her elbow. He squeezed her tighter into him, taking her breath away. She pretended to struggle a little, but he just laughed harder.
‘It’s really not funny,’ she said again, pouting. ‘I’m getting divorced, and as for Trevor, I’m not interested. He will get the message eventually. I didn’t see it coming.’
Cooper nodded. ‘I saw it coming. Back in camp, I could see it. Everyone could. It’s just you who doesn’t see the effect you have on people.’
She squeezed his hand. ‘I saw the effect I had on you when we first met,’ she teased.
He dropped a kiss onto her lips. ‘That day wasn’t a normal day. My feelings since that day have changed so much, I wouldn’t recognise them now. I just want you to be sure, before we do say anything else, that this is what you want. I’m not capable anymore of being alone; I can do it, but I don’t want to. You and Jamie are very important to me.’
Kate’s heart leapt. He was answering everything that she had wondered about, the questions that had kept her up nights, the ponderings that she had uttered to herself. She wanted him just as much, and she felt relieved that they were finally talking about it. Just one thing stood in their way now, Neil. She hadn’t heard a thing since she sent the papers, and she knew that the bomb was going to hit their fragile little world any time now. She wondered what Cooper would make of it all, and if he would judge her as harshly as she judged herself sometimes. As harsh as Jamie judged her now.
‘I haven’t told you everything, about Neil, about the accident.’ The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them, and she closed her eyes in terror. Shut up, Kate!
‘What do you mean?’ His voice was soft, gentle.
‘I just haven’t told you everything, but I have my reasons. I stopped him from seeing our son, he tried to see him, afterwards, but I refused. I got the hospital security to block him from seeing Jamie.’
She didn’t dare look at him, but she could feel his eyes on her.
‘Do you want to tell me why?’ She loved him for the way he worded his question, giving her an out that she really needed.
‘No,’ she whispered, shaking her head slowly. She could feel the tears threatening to come, but she swallowed hard, pushing them back.
‘Fine,’ he replied, kissing her hand in reply. ‘No more talk. Another drink?’
She nodded and he filled her wine glass with a flourish.
They said nothing on the way back to the centre. Nothing of consequence, anyway. Kate moaned about the rain, the cold. She even tried to talk about the food. Cooper said nothing, he just looked out of the window. Kate gave up and settled for watching the view fly past, but then Cooper grabbed her by the arm.
‘Do you want to go back?’ Kate looked at him in question. He looked nervous, his eyes were bright with emotion, and it surprised her to see it.
‘We could spend the night elsewhere, that what I mean. No assumptions, of course, but we could. You have the day off tomorrow, Jamie’s tucked up in bed. We could just spend the night out. Go back tomorrow, when we want to.’
Kate looked at him aghast. She knew that the driver must be able to hear them, but she found that she didn’t care. ‘What about when we go back tomorrow? I need my job, and Trev—’
‘Screw Trevor!’ Cooper cried, flicking his eyes towards the driver. ‘Screw him,’ he said quieter this time. ‘They don’t do bed counts for staff last time I checked, and I have something to sort out in town anyway, they’ll just think I left early.’
Kate started to shake her head. ‘I don’t think—’
‘Exactly Kate, don’t think. Are you in, or not?’ He looked at her with such an expression of love on his face that she replied before she caught hold of any of the errant thoughts swimming around her head.
‘Yes. Are you sure though? You said we had to wait till I was divorced, I am still married. He hasn’t even got the papers yet.’
He looked thoughtful for a moment, and Kate cursed herself for even giving him the chance to reconsider.
‘I know,’ he said slowly, ‘but I trust you. You say it’s over, it’s over. I could never break up a family that had a sliver of a chance of staying together. I couldn’t do that to you or Jamie. Maybe I was a little impulsive.’ He rubbed his hand down his face and sat back in his seat.
Moving closer, Kate whispered to him, close enough to feel her lips on his skin.
‘Don’t take me home.’
Cooper wasted no time. He instructed the driver to go to the nearest hotel instead, and to his credit, he did just that, with the minimum of fuss. Kate went in first, and booking a room, she sat in reception, waiting for Cooper to dismiss the driver and get his chair. He came wheeling through the doors and she walked over to him. He went to go to the desk, but she touched his arm, showing him the room key.
‘I got it.’
Cooper looked annoyed for a moment, and she giggled a little, walking to the lift. He followed grumpily. They entered the lift and she laughed out loud when the doors closed.
‘Don’t be so grumpy! You can pay me half back, if that’s the problem.’
Cooper snorted. ‘Pay half! You made me look like a right div, being paid for by a woman.’
Kate jabbed the button hard for the third floor.
‘Oh, as opposed to a man paying for a woman to stay in his room, like a hooker?’
His eyes darted to hers and she gave him her sternest look, crossing her arms across her chest. Cooper narrowed his eyes and folded his own arms. They stood like that when the lift stopped, and when the doors opened, and after. The ding for the closing of the doors sounded and no one moved a muscle. Kate shook her head. He was just as pig-headed as she was.
‘Are we going to sleep in the lift, because I’ll go and get my money back, if that’s the case.’
‘I can pay my way you know,’ he said begrudgingly. Kate rolled her eyes, leading the way out of the lift.
‘Good, because I have a son and a messy divorce to pay for. You can pay for breakfast.’
His mouth twitched, and he slowly followed her out of the lift onto the corridor. Once in the room, the door closed behind them, they both stood looking at each other. This was it. All those miles, all those hours, all the talk, this was it.