Chapter Eighteen – Zane

Leah leaps backwards as if she’s been electrocuted, her entire face flames a bright shade of red. She’s giving us away, making us look guilty, and we didn’t even do anything. Maybe just a little bit of flirting and some touching. If it were up to me, we would have done a whole lot more. It’s a shame we didn’t get the chance.

“N… nothing,” Leah stammers. “I was just making breakfast but now,” she makes a dramatic show of looking at the clock. “I’m late for work so I’m going to have to get going. You can finish it yourselves.”

She pushes past me and Brandon, running as if she can escape what just happened. I didn’t expect to see her this morning, I never thought I would get the chance to start on my plan to get her back, so that was a nice treat. I don’t mind waiting for her, she’s worth it. I’m more than willing to play the long game.

“What was that about, mate?” Brandon asks with a cold tone as soon as we’re alone. “That was odd.”

“I don’t know.” I shrug, trying to act innocent. “Like she said, she was just cooking breakfast.”

“So, why did you need to be so close to each other?” His hands crosses his chest. “Should I be worried?”

Yes, I want to scream. Worry away because I’m going to make her mine somehow. We’re going to be together.

But I don’t say that. Not yet, now isn’t the time. Me and Leah are nowhere near that place yet and I’ve only just got Brandon back into my life. I don’t want to fuck all of that up until I know for sure.

“Don’t worry about anything,” I insist. “Except maybe breakfast burning. I was just coming to help. I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed it, but your sister isn’t the best cook in the world. She gets distracted.”

“Oh, well…” I can see Brandon wavering. “I suppose I do know that Leah’s a terrible cook.”

“Exactly.” Relief floods me. I’ve gotten away with it again. I’m still quite amazed that I got away with it the first time around. “So, sit down and let me finish making the food for you, unless you aren’t hungry…”

“No, I’m starving.” He rubs his belly greedily. “Thank you. That sounds awesome. Cheese on toast?”

I smirk because Brandon remembers that about me. There are so many times he could’ve forgotten that. Just because I cherish the memories of our teenage years together, doesn’t mean he has to. It’s awesome.

“You know me, always cheese on toast. That okay for you?” He nods. “Good, now you take a seat.”

We make small talk for a while as I cook, and continue to do so as I plate up the food. This is odd, it used to always be Brandon cooking for me. I guess I never realized back then that I could take a turn every now and again. I just didn’t think about it because my mind was always on something else. I’m glad I get to do it now.

During this time, I learn the basics of what Brandon’s been up to over the last five years. We probably shared all this information with one another last night, but I can’t really remember it, and if I can’t there’s a chance he won’t either. We just kept drinking, and drinking, and drinking. It was mental, but fun.

Then, once Brandon is finished I give him a vague outline on my life as well. I suppose over time we’ll get to the nitty gritty of things but for now this is enough. It catches us up at any rate.

Leah doesn’t come back up again until I’m ready to leave. As I shrug my jacket on and I make some disparaging remark about having to face the two people who haven’t ever really cared about me, Brandon’s expression turns deadly serious. I don’t even think what his problem might be, I just dive right in.

“Is everything okay, mate?” I ask him kindly. “You look like you have something on your mind.”

“Yeah, I do.” He nods a bit too rapidly. I can tell this isn’t going to be good. For a moment, I brace myself expecting him to tell me that Jenny hates my guts and that she doesn’t ever want him to see me again. Much as I’ll hate that, I’ll have to respect his decision to choose whoever he wants. But thankfully, it isn’t that. “It’s Leah, she… she’s a good girl. She hasn’t always had it easy, you know that. Dad dying and Mom not being around much hit her hard. I had to step up and be there for her.” I don’t know where he’s going with this, but it doesn’t feel good. “I don’t ever want her to be hurt, okay, that’s my main issue. I think she has a good guy in Patrick.” Urgh, Patrick. I haven’t even met him and his name makes my skin crawl. “I don’t want that ruined. I don’t want anyone to get in the way of someone who makes her happy, do you understand what I’m saying to you?”

Then, he gives me a deep and meaningful look. One that actually makes me uncomfortable. He’s warning me away from Leah without actually having to say the words. He doesn’t want to destroy our friendship but he wants me to get the message all the same. In a way, this makes me absolutely have to respect what he wants.

“Oh sure, I get that.” I smile blandly. “I know exactly what you mean.”

But on the other hand, he’s just turned the girl that I already want into the most exciting, taboo thing in the world, and I hate to still be that guy, but the sensation is delicious. I will try and keep away for the sake of my friendship but Brandon has just made it that much harder…

“Right, I’m off to face the ‘rents,” I reply, keeping things normal. “I will see you very soon.”

***

The intense sense of dread fills my chest the moment that I pull up in my parent’s driveway. I don’t want to face this, I would much rather burn off on my bike in the other direction, but I can’t put this off forever.

I sigh deeply and take the awful walk up to the front door, expecting the worst. As I go, images of Leah pop up into my mind, filthy images that I really shouldn’t be thinking, especially after the promise that I just made, but I can’t help myself. She’s a delicious juicy piece of forbidden fruit that I just want to sink my teeth into.

Stop that, I warn myself. I just promised Brandon and I also have to get my head in the game.

This isn’t going to be easy, I’ve only seen them a handful of times in the last five years and it hasn’t ever been fun, but I’m a damn adult now. I can face whatever shit they throw at me head on.

My heart thunders as I reach up to open the door, all the familiarity that I acquired last night flows out the window, but I stick on my brave face and I wander in confidently with my head held high.

“Oh, my goodness.” Mom races to my side with excitement. “You’re home. We were expecting you yesterday.” She gives me a smile, but it doesn’t touch me. Once upon a time I used to feel sorry for her because of the situation that she finds herself in. Now, I just blame her for being weak. She’s brought this on herself. There are so many times she could have stood up to him, so many ways she could’ve escaped his clutches. But she didn’t. “How are you doing, son? It’s so good to have you back. This house has been so quiet without you…”

“It won’t be for long,” I tell her right away so she knows. “I already have somewhere to live sorted.”

“Oh.” She furrows her eyebrows. “But what about the job your father has lined up for you…”

My shoulders immediately hunch up around my ears as a tension claims me. Why didn’t I see this coming? Now, I’ve walked right into my father’s controlling trap. He’s going to think that he has me now and that yet again, I’ll do whatever it is he wants, but this time I don’t have to. I have resources of my own. I’m a free man now, I’ve worked towards creating a foundation for myself, and thank God. I can escape.

“Hello, Zane.” Dad enters the hallway with that familiar smug look on his face. “It’s good to have you back.” He doesn’t need to give me shit about not coming home yesterday because in his mind he has something better. “I’m sure your mother has already told you that I have some important things to talk to you about.”

“Dad, I’m going to stop you right away.” I hold up my hands to highlight my point. “Whatever you think you’ve sorted out for me, I want it to stop. I did the college thing for you, and I don’t regret it one bit, but I am not doing whatever else it is that you want. I have my own plans, thank you very much.”

“But you’ve put in the hard work now. Why wouldn’t you want to reap the rewards of that? I’ve sorted you out an amazing opportunity, one that you won’t be able to get again. It’s very well paid.”

I roll my eyes and try to hold in a scream. I want to yell out with frustration, it’s really hard not to, but I’ll never get my point across if I act like a spoiled brat. That will backfire on me massively.

“Dad, I don’t care about the money, or the experience, or the opportunity. I’m grateful for all that you do for me, but I’ve tried it your way and I don’t like it. I want to branch out and do your own thing.”

“Your own thing?” He gives me a disgusted look. “What are you going to do? Ride your bike and tattoo other people? Or maybe you wish to venture into something wilder now like drug taking?”

“Don’t you ever say anything like that to me.” I can’t help it, I see red. I’ve spent my whole life being judged because of the way that I look. I don’t want that to come from the people who’ve raised me. That sucks. “You know that I’m not like that. You’re just saying that to hurt me. Actually, what I want to do is open up a custom bike shop and I’ve even sorted out all the details myself. You don’t need to have any involvement at all.”

“A custom bike shop?” The idea seems to amuse my father. “That’s the stupidest thing that I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Do you even hear yourself? I thought college would make you grow up, I thought you would come home a man finally, ready to do what’s right. I have never been so ashamed of you in my life.”

I look at Mom, waiting for her to say anything to stand up for me, but again she doesn’t. she flicks her eyes downwards looking just as ashamed as him. I suppose this is the first and last meeting that I’ll ever have with them here. Once I turn my back and I walk out of here, I won’t come back. Fuck this, I’ve taken their shit for far too long. I don’t need it anymore. I am a man, and I’m a man of my own making, I won’t go into a mold.

“Well, thanks for that,” I reply with a snort. “It’s always, erm, good to see you guys. I’m off.”

I turn without looking back, and without a destination in mind. I’m going to make my life my own way and there isn’t a damn thing in hell that either of them can do about it.