Ssh…Don’t Tell - An Exclusive Romance Novel

Chapter 1

“Well, Mister McWaters, let me be the first to welcome you to the city...to Fort Wayne,” the real estate agent said, extending his arm to shake his client’s hand. “I think this city will have just what you’re looking for when it comes to investment opportunities.”

Darren shook Doug’s hand and then the two men stood up. Darren had flown in from Chicago earlier in the day and was planning to spend the night in Fort Wayne. His only reason for being in Ft. Wayne was to meet with this real estate agent about purchasing some rental property in the area. The market was good, the prices were even better, and the demand was supposedly only going to rise in the coming years. Coming from a prominent, real-estate-invested family in Chicago, Darren knew how to look for an opportunity. And now, thanks to Doug Sharp’s help, Darren had finally secured some rental property after a few months of coming back and forth.

“Thank you,” Darren said.

“Well, I have to get going now,” Doug said. He looked around at The Blue Ivy, a small but cozy bar and restaurant in the heart of Downtown Ft. Wayne. “It really was a pleasure working with you and meeting you.” The real estate agent gathered any documents that belonged in his folder off of the table then pushed in his chair. “Also, if you should have any other problems or need more information about the local real estate market should you get to the point where you think you’re ready to invest more, don’t hesitate to call my office, Mister McWaters.” The graying, middle-aged man smiled then walked at his client’s side towards the door.

“Absolutely,” Darren said.

Darren walked alongside Doug out to the sidewalk. A festival was in town, so the streets were a bit busier than usual. On top of that, a baseball game was happening just a couple of blocks over from the bar. Darren looked down the street as cars lined up out into the street as stadium goers tried to get into the stadium’s parking lot. The 6’2”, brown-haired former frat boy wondered himself what he would be doing for the evening. His flight back to Chicago left at 10:30 the next morning.

The 33-year-old man shook his agent’s hand once again and then the two parted ways. Darren looked down at his phone, wondering if he’d gotten any emails or calls. With the fall wind whipping down the street, he ran his hand through his hair then decided to head back into the bar. With it going on 7 o’clock in the evening, Darren wasn’t opposed to having a little something to help him feel good. He figured he could look around online and figure out what he wanted to do with the rest of the night, if he wanted to do anything at all.

Darren stepped back in The Blue Ivy and zigzagged through the clusters of chairs. He approached the bar and waited on a couple of already-waiting couples to give the bartender their drink orders. Once the couples walked away, he lifted himself up onto a stool and leaned over the counter while he waited on the bartender – a woman – to come back over to serve him.

Shortly after scanning through a couple of emails, Darren looked up and noticed a different bartender coming his way. This woman had just zipped out of the back, somewhere in the kitchen. Her long, blond hair swayed with every step she took. Her clear skin glowed under the bar lights. The 5’3 woman made a couple of drinks so quickly and efficiently, Darren wouldn’t doubt if she could do it in her sleep. He watched how she moved – how she did her job and smiled graciously to any and everyone – then she headed over toward him.

“Hey, what can I get you?” the woman asked, leaning over on the bar. Darren managed to control himself long enough to look into her eyes rather than her chest.

Darren smiled. “Yeah, can I just get a Heineken? No rush.”

“Okay, I’ll get it for you,” the woman said.

Darren said thank you then once again watched the bartender rush around the bar. Even though he only heard her say a few words, there was something about her that seemed to be genuine – so soft, yet not like a pushover. Her blue jean shorts exposed a rose tattoo on her thigh. The moments she came closer to Darren’s side of the bar, he tried to look at the tattoo and make out the wording, but her constantly moving made it hard. Still, the perkiness of her chest continuously stole the man’s attention. Darren guessed it to be a nice, full C-cup as well as a bit bouncy. Before Darren knew it, the woman, who looked to be in her mid to late twenties, was headed back his way with his Heineken.

“Here you go,” she said, setting the drink on the bar.

“Thank you,” Darren said. He smiled, letting some of his charm shine through.

“No problem. Just let me know if you need anything.” She smiled.

Darren watched the woman make a few more drinks then start to clean shelves and configure things under the counter nearby. He looked down into his phone as much as he could, but got to a point where he had to say something to her. Why had he been so drawn to this woman? After all, he did come from a family that was very class conscience. Several of his aunts and uncles were people who barely even made eye contact with lower-class people, much less purposely engaged in conversation with them.

Just as Darren was about to speak, another bar employee popped out of the back. “Sherry, what did you do with that bucket of towels?” the raspy-voiced, sassy woman asked. “And don’t say it wasn’t you because I know you had it.”
Her name is Sherry, Darren thought.

“Well, dang, Samantha,” Sherry said, turning around swiftly. “Why don’t you go and get a bullhorn and stand out in the street and announce it, huh?”

Darren chuckled at the woman’s wit, as did several employees within ear shot.

“It’s under the sink, like I told you,” Sherry said. “I know I put it there, so don’t even try to say I didn’t.”

Samantha rolled her eyes then turned away, disappearing into the back. Sherry shook her head as she wiped down shelves where a wine rack had once been. Darren had been noticing how busy the bar was relative to its size, as it didn’t look like the kind of place that would normally be this kind of crowded. “Busy night, huh?’

Sherry shook her head. “Yeah, you can say that. Some of these people in here don’t know how to work a busy night, ‘cause we usually aren’t that busy.”

“Yeah, I figured that,” Darren said. “There’s some kind of festival going on here or something, I guess. I think I drove by it when I was comin’ back downtown. Up by some park.”

Sherry sighed. “Yeah, the Three Rivers Festival. A lot of people out and about downtown. Plus, the baseball game. And,” she rubbed her chin in thought, “I think their might be something going on at the convention center.” She looked passed Darren and out at the tables. “There were some people in here with these lanyards, but I never got close enough to see what they were saying.”

Darren nodded. “I see. Busy is good for you, though.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Sherry said. She finished with the shelf then dropped the towel. She looked at this man sitting at the bar. This time, though, she looked a little closer than she had before. Sherry noticed his suit – looked like it cost a pretty penny. Then, the way his hair was cut – didn’t look like the regular run-of-the-mill barber in Ft. Wayne. How he carried himself definitely stuck out to her as well as the way he asked about what was going on. This city has a lot of festivals, but the Three Rivers is one that anybody from here would know. Where is this guy from?

“You from out of town, aren’t you?” Sherry asked.

Darren chuckled under his breath then sat his drink down. “Yeah, I’m not from here. I’m from Chicago.”

Sherry nodded. “Oh, okay. I figured you were from somewhere else.”

Darren’s forehead wrinkled as he looked at the woman. “Wow, is it that obvious?”

Sherry laughed, now realizing how she must’ve sounded. “Well, I didn’t mean it like that. I can just tell by the way you talk...how you dress...how you carry yourself. You look like you’re looking around analyzing stuff.”

Darren chuckled once again. This chick is funny. “Oh, wow...you picked up on a lot of stuff.”

“Yeah, well,” Sherry said, shrugging her shoulders. “When you serve people drinks everyday, and some people sit up here for hours and hours talking to you about their lives, you learn about people.”

Darren nodded as he sipped his drink again. “I can see that.”

“So, what brings somebody from Chicago to Fort Wayne?” Sherry asked. “You got family here or what?”

Darren smiled, shaking his head then going on to explain. Sherry listened at the guy talked about coming to town to look into some real estate opportunities. “So, you’re thinking about living here? You’re going to move from Chicago to Fort Wayne?”

“Um, well,” Darren said, his facial expression that of a bashful little boy. “I didn’t say that. It’s a nice place, it seems. Small, but kinda big in some ways.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Sherry said. “I’ve been to Chicago once. Looks like a fun place to live.”

Darren scuffed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, that’s how it looks. Trust me, though, it’s not what it appears.”

Sherry laughed at the guy’s sarcastic tone.

For the next couple of hours, groups of people fluctuated in and out of the bar. The tables swelled with locals as well as visitors. The Blue Ivy was practically packed when the baseball game let out. Then, after a while, Darren and Sherry both noticed the lanyards. An older, gracious-acting man with one around his neck approached the bar to ask for a drink. Here, they both learned the convention was a religious convention. Darren turned away, hoping to not make eye contact with the guy as it could possibly conger up a conversation. When the guy walked off, Sherry looked away and giggled.

“What?” Darren asked, now on his second drink. “What are you laughing at? I saw the way you looked over here then started laughing.”

“Just you,” Sherry said. “Man, I saw the way you looked at that guy...the one with the lanyard from a church convention around his neck. You looked away like you hoped he wouldn’t say anything.”

Darren wished he hadn’t been so obvious. “Sorry, I hope that didn’t come across the wrong way or anything. You super into religion and stuff?”

“Psst,” Sherry said, waving her hand dismissively – an action which caused Darren to nearly choke on his beer. “Can’t stand them.” She looked around then lowered her voice. “The way they’re always trying to push that stuff off on people.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Darren said. “My parents used to have this condo in this kinda ruff part of Chicago that I had to live in for a little bit while I finished up school. Anyway, it was the kinda area where Jehovah's witnesses were making their rounds...frequently.”

Sherry rolled her eyes then shook her head as she rummaged through a box under the counter. “Yeah, I know what you mean. Those people are everywhere with that stuff.”

“Yeah, well,” Darren said, shaking his head, “that’s why I used to joke with my cousin how I couldn’t wait on the winter to roll around...ice and snow and all. That seemed to stop them, if nothing else.”

Sherry broke out in laughter, leaning over as she grabbed her stomach, knowing that nobody in their right mind would ever be waiting on a Chicago winter to roll around. When she lifted her head back up, she had to wipe her eyes from nearly crying. She looked into Darren’s eyes for a few seconds too long before she suddenly turned to assist a woman who approached the bar.

In between making drinks, Sherry entertained conversation with this guy from Chicago sitting at the end of the bar. Every so often, she’d look down at him, if she weren’t close enough, and think. Really, he wasn’t the kind of guy who would normally catch her interest. In fact, Sherry couldn’t recall if she’d ever dated a man who wore a suit to anything but a funeral. This guy, though, was confident. He spoke well and was obviously educated.

Later in the night, as the more family-oriented kinds of people had long returned to their hotels or congregated in downtown parks while the moon glowed in the sky, Darren had talked with Sherry so much the spark he felt when he’d seen her had transformed into a full-blown flame. Eventually, she came around to asking his name and how long he’d be in town.

“Darren,” he answered. “And I’m heading back to Chicago tomorrow morning. Gotta be at the airport probably around nine.”

“Airport?” Sherry asked, almost as if she’d never heard of such.

“Yeah.” Darren’s confused facial expression showed on his face. “You know? Fort Wayne International?”

“Yeah, I know,” Sherry said. She quickly finished up a couple beers for some biker guys as their waitress waited anxiously on the other side of the bar with their tray of food. “I’ve driven by it, but I didn’t know people actually flew into it.”
Darren laughed. The airport definitely came across to him as small “homey.” In a lot of ways, it seemed more like a gigantic bus station rather than an airport. “Yeah, I see what you mean.”

The bar swelled with even more people shortly after Sherry commented about how she’d be getting off around 11 that night because she’d come in much earlier to help with the crowd. Sitting at the bar had become a bit annoying for Darren as well as uncomfortable with so many people stepping up to his side and ordering drinks so frequently. He went ahead and paid for his three beers then stood up. Sherry looked over at him, smiling. To the other it was obvious they each wanted to say something.

“Look, if you’re up for hanging out a bit when you get off, I’ll still be up,” Darren said. “I don’t know anybody in Fort Wayne, so...”

“Hmm,” Sherry said then pausing. “I just might be. I’m not doing anything tonight, anyway. I’m not going to the festival or anything like that. Been a hundred times already.”

Darren chuckled. “A hundred times?” he said, thinking about how the festival was a yearly thing. He pulled one of his cards up out of his pocket. “Okay, well, here’s my card. My cell number is on there. You can just text me if you want. If you’re too tired or whatever, then no pressure.”

Sherry grabbed the card and looked it over, taking in the quality. Darren McWaters. Real Estate Investor. What followed was the address to his Chicago office as well as his phone number. This guy certainly takes good pictures. “Yeah, I’ll text you,” she said. “Only got a little while left in here. Are you staying out by the airport?”

“No, right downtown,” Darren said, gesturing toward to the north. “I’m staying at the Hilton. You know?”

“Yeah,” Sherry said. “I worked for a catering company once upon a time.”

Several people approached the bar and all crowded up against the railing order drinks. Darren backed away as Sherry assured she would call him as soon as she got off. Darren smiled, the two of them looking into the others eyes while he made his way out to the sidewalk. He smirked as he glanced back inside.

Darren, carrying his business folder at his side, walked down Calhoun Street and into the small courtyard adjacent to the Hilton building. The night air was perfect – not too humid, but certainly not the least bit chilly. Instead of going inside and sitting in the cold, stale lobby, Darren plopped down on a bench and simply observed. Sherry had been on his mind for a few minutes at this point. The Chicago-native then shrugged it off.

“Darren, forget it,” he said to himself, coming down and thinking realistically. “She’s probably used to guys hitting on her at the bar all the time and is just nice to them for the sake of being nice.”

Darren realized what the situation with a woman like Sherry probably was then figured he might as well start figuring out what else he would do for the night. The last few times he’d come to Ft. Wayne, he’d been so busy with researching the market that by the time he’d gotten back to his hotel room at night, he didn’t feel like having any company. This time was different, though. The longer Darren sat on the bench, the more antsy he became. Certain woman passing by – those with long hair, pretty faces, and smooth, toned legs on display – brought about even more thoughts.

Darren had been reading about different bars as well as a few nightclubs in the area when a text popped up from a 260 area code: I’m off. A smiley face emoji set at the end of the text. Darren’s expressionless face changed instantly; his lips curled into a smile.

After a few minutes of texting back and forth, Darren and Sherry finally agreed on Sherry coming down the street and joining him in the courtyard for a little while. Darren had insisted on coming back to the bar so he could walk with her, even heading out to the sidewalk so he could do so, but Sherry texted that she wanted to get some fresh air. Within minutes, she was in eyesight. Darren noticed the way she walked – so much confidence, so sexy. A strong wind whipped down the store-front-lined street, lifting Sherry’s blonde hair up off of her shoulders. The view was picturesque for Darren in many ways, as he was an art lover – the lit high-rises in the background, a tree-lined street, a clear, starry sky with a bright, glowing moon resting over top.. All with Sherry the center of the picture.

Darren and Sherry hugged one another. Darren tapped her cheek with a light kiss. They then sat down on the bench for a moment, in silence. “Were people still coming in there when you were getting out?” he asked, finally breaking the ice.

“Oh, yeah,” Sherry said, nodding her head. “And probably will be for the night. Local team won, so, you know.” She looked at Denny nod his head. “So, you stayin’ in this Hilton, huh?”

“Yeah,” Darren answered. “I think next time, I’m going to get something a little more personal. Maybe like a small house or rent some apartment in some old building. I like stuff like that more. Just something about these hotel rooms that are so cold. I hate sitting in them… Then again, maybe I’m just tired of them.”

“I see, I see” Sherry said. Badly, she wanted to ask the guy about what being a real estate investor really meant, but she worried about how she might come across. “Yeah, I could see what you mean. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to spend a night in a 5-star hotel every once in a while, but I guess if you stay in them a lot...”

“Yeah,” Darren said. “So, I was thinking about some small place that might have a little music...some dancing. You know of anywhere like that? I wouldn’t want to be there long, but it’s only eleven o’clock. And the night’s still young, as they say. The city is alive and stuff.”

Sherry snickered. “Yeah, okay. Fort Wayne is alive. Okay, well, seriously, I know a place. Down the block from where I live. If you want, you can follow me back to my apartment building and park in the lot then we can walk down the street. It’s like a little bar with music, usually karaoke, and sometimes you’ll get somebody in there who’s good enough to get people up and dancing.”

Darren’s eyebrows raised. Being from out of town, he wasn’t exactly in a position to turn down such an offer. He and Sherry wound up getting up and chatting a bit more before they went their separate ways to get to their cars. Daren crossed through the hotel lobby to access the parking garage. By the time he got down to The Blue Ivy in his rented golden sedan, Sherry was waiting at the parking lot exit to the street in her beat-up Toyota. She pulled out then Darren followed her, crossing the river then zigzagging through a compact neighborhood riddled with older corner-store buildings every few blocks. Within fifteen minutes, Sherry turned into the parking lot behind a brown brick, two-story building with a couple of small stores and a restaurant on the ground level and apartments on the second floor. They parked then met one another out on the sidewalk.

“I live up there,” Sherry said. She looked at the way Darren looked around and figured the guy probably wasn’t used to being in this kind of neighborhood – not the worst, but certainly not the best.

Darren nodded, having left his suit jacket in the car. “Okay, I see, I see,” he said.

Sherry playfully pushed Darren and told him to loosen up a bit.

“I am, I am,” Darren said.

Following Sherry’s lead, they walked down to the bar – Buren’s – at the corner. They enjoyed a few beers while a woman serenaded the crowd from the bar’s small stage at the front. A mini biker club congregated at the back, telling jokes and talking about women while they sipped beer and smoked cigarettes. It wasn’t long before Darren rose up out of his seat pulled Sherry’s hand. “Come on, let’s get up and dance.”

Before Sherry could even say yes, she’d already been on her feet. Darren looked into her eyes and got a good feeling this was about to be fun. They danced in a small crowd of 10 or so couples as time slipped away.

***

Walking with Sherry’s arm locked around his, Darren nearly slipped off of the curb. They’d been right in front of Sherry’s apartment building about to turn the corner and head toward the parking lot. Laughter between the two had yet to cease since leaving the bar. Drinks loosened up their spirits; they felt like they knew one another more personally once they finally left the dance floor.

Sherry looked up into Darren’s eyes when there was a long moment of silence. “You wanna come up for a minute?” she asked. “We had a few beers down there, so it might be better for you to calm down a little bit before you head back downtown.”

Darren looked at Sherry – her eyes were so intriguing. Hair stuck to her slightly-damp forehead. Hanging out with her was somewhat of a new experience for a guy like Darren. Back in Chicago, his entire life had been in somewhat of a bubble where every person around was connected in some way, either for money or political reasons. Darren shrugged and smiled. “Sure, yeah, you’re probably right.”

They came to Sherry’s apartment door then she let them inside. She showed Darren around. He looked out the window, complimenting the architecture of the building as well as the view. No sooner than the 33-year-old turned around, Sherry pressed up against him. His instincts kicked in. This chick is fucking hot, he thought. Darren leaned over and kissed Sherry. They relished in an intense embrace then practically fell into Sherry’s beige couch. The lamp at the side of the couch provided the only light in the room.

“You are so handsome,” Sherry said, pulling her face away from Darren after a long, passionate kiss. She smiled and touched the side of his face.

Darren watched Sherry climb up onto her knees on top of him. Her chest hung over him, swaying anytime she moved. He grabbed a handful of her blonde hair. She smiled as he already felt him getting hard under his pants.

“I was looking at you as soon as I got up to the bar,” Darren said, wanting to get it off his chest.

They pressed their lips together for another deep, passionate kiss. Sherry then stood up and walked toward the small hallway that led to her bedroom and bathroom. Darren never broke eye contact with her; neither of them said a word. Darren stood up and rushed over to the hallway, as Sherry’s eye contact was beckoning him to follow. Sherry walked seductively; her beautiful, exposed legs guided Darren all the way down the hall and into her bedroom.

The air in Sherry’s bedroom was masked by their heavy breathing. Sherry gently pushed Darren back onto the bed, both of them smiling ear to ear, then lifted her legs up to where her knees pressed into the comforter on either side of Darren’s waist. She leaned over and kissed the guy then looked down at him for a moment. He really is a handsome guy...something different for me, for sure. She glanced at the growing bulge in Darren’s pants and rubbed it. A chuckle slipped out of Darren’s mouth as he thought about how smoking hot this Sherry was. Thank God Doug you brought me into that bar tonight.

There, in Sherry’s dimly-lit bedroom with only the streetlight seeping in through the blinds, Darren gripped Sherry’s mid-back and slowly pulled her down toward him. Her chest pressed into his face. He enjoyed the experience for a few seconds then Sherry, biting her bottom lip ever so seductively, scooted down the bed and started unbuckling Darren’s belt. Jolts of excitement rushed through the out-of-towner’s bones. Only seconds passed until he felt his manhood being taken into Sherry’s mouth. He closed his eyes and sighed from the pleasure.

Sherry’s head bobbed up and down for several minutes as she enjoyed the taste of Darren’s cock. His bulky hands gripping her hair and tugging slightly only turned her on even more. When she had enough of orally pleasing him, she stood up and pulled her shorts off then lifted her shirt up over her head. Darren smiled as he watched, looked at her with bedroom eyes and anxious to feel her body against his, then slid his own pants completely off. He then undid his blue button-up and tossed it to the side. Just as he was getting to his undershirt, Sherry climbed back up on top of him and started kissing him. She was wild and passionate; sensual, but seductive. The way her long, blonde hair whipped around her back and brushed across Darren’s face drove the guy crazy. This chick is so hot, he thought.

Darren was ready to take the lead and bang this chick like no other. Aggressively, he wrapped his arms around her back then moved her over onto the other side of the queen-size bed. Sherry erupted with laughter, a bit surprised this business-like guy could get a little frisky like this. Before she knew it, her legs were being pushed apart and Darren lay between them, his own legs hanging off the front of the bed. He kissed each of her breasts, cupping the sides of them and moving them around.

Sherry placed a hand on either side of Darren’s head. They looked into one another eyes intensely then kissed once again. Their eyes locked, Darren reached down between them and positioned the head of his cock toward the lips of Sherry’s inside. Sherry barely blinked before she felt Darren pushing his way inside. She bit her bottom lip – closed her eyes.

“Uh,” Darren groaned. He pressed his eyelids closed so hard as he enjoyed the tightness of Sherry’s insides around his shaft. Once he’d gotten all the way in, he thrust slowly then got into rhythm. Normally he liked a little music when he had sex, but tonight was different. His buzz as well as his high from dancing had set the mood just right.

Sherry moaned loudly as Darren thrust. It didn’t take long for things to get even hotter. Sherry wrapped her legs around his back as the bed rocked. Curse words slipped out of their lips; they rubbed one another in appreciative ways. Whatever thoughts Sherry had about her neighbors hearing had long been set on the back burner. This guy Darren was turning her on a different way than she was used to – ways she didn’t really expect from a guy like him. His body was sure nice and well-maintained for a business guy– well-defined legs, a muscular back, nice arms, and a pronounced chest. When he stroked as fast as he could into her, she pulled her legs from around his back so she could reach down and playfully smack his ass cheek.

Darren slowed down, wiping his forehead with his forearm. He chuckled. “You are so hot.”

Sherry giggled, pulling clumps of her hair away from her forehead. Then, she gently pushed Darren up and back. His cock slid out of her pussy as he looked on, wondering what was about to happen. Darren watched as Sherry got up on her knees and bent over in front of him. His cock throbbed with excitement and anticipation when Sherry looked back, over her shoulder. Quickly, Darren scooted up closer to her body then carefully wrapped his hands around her waist before he started stroking again.

The headboard thumped against her bedroom wall like music. Sherry’s rosy behind slammed against Darren’s pelvis in perfect rhythm. When he really got into it, his reaching up and pulling her hair so her neck jerked back and made her look up at the ceiling drove her crazy.

“Fuck me, Darren!” Sherry yelled. “Damn!”

Veins popped out of Darren’s forehead. He couldn’t pull an arm away from holding Sherry in her place long enough to wipe away any swear. His breathing was heavy; his chest pumped up and down as he stroked. He felt like his soul was experiencing a weird kind of high. Sherry’s hair felt like silk locked in his grip.

The lovers grunted and moaned back and forth. Darren banged Sherry in the doggy style position for as long as he could before she was ready for him to lie on his back so she could hop on top. And this was the position that took them to new heights. Sherry was wildly turned on by Darren’s sexiness while deep in the throws of passion. Darren looked up at Sherry’s bouncing chest. Jackpot.

When they both orgasmed, Sherry leaned over and practically collapsed into Darren’s body. They both breathed heavily, Sherry joking about being sore and Darren talking about how good it was for him. Sherry eventually climbed off then lay next to Darren with her head on his chest. With both of their eyes fixed toward the window, they fell into a deep slumber from a night neither one of them had ever expected when Darren sat down at the bar. Sherry was indeed happy, though, that she approached him to take his drink order.

***

The bright rays of the morning sun finally reached around the roofs of houses across the street from Sherry’s apartment building. It penetrated the window and forced its way into the bedroom, hitting Darren in the eye and waking him up. He quickly turned his head, but the half-way hung over feeling from last night was too much to ignore. When he finally opened his eyes and became oriented, he realized he was still at the chick’s place from the bar last night. Darren reached for his phone, getting a sense that it was still early by the sun’s position in the sky. Birds chirped and there was what sounded like a school bus rolling down the street and stopping at the corner.

“Shit,” Darren groaned, wiping his face. He yawned as he processed the time. 8 o’clock was quickly approaching. He needed to get back downtown to his hotel room so he could pack. The last thing he wanted to do was a miss his flight, as he was supposed to be meeting with an attorney later in the afternoon in Chicago.

Darren looked over and down at Sherry. He smiled as he reminisced about last night – the way her breasts bounced up and down when she was on top, how her butt jiggled when he pounded her. Darren’s ego and pride swelled. Not only did he get a chick into bed from just meeting her at a bar, but she was also hot and a fun lay.

Darren slid out of the bed and started pulling his pants on. The clacking of his belt buckle pulled Sherry out of her sleep. She curled up with a pillow against her mid-body and her legs twisted around it so she could watch Darren get ready. “You gettin’ ready to get outta here?”

A bit startled to hear her voice, Darren turned around and smiled. “Yeah, I have to get back to my hotel room so I can get ready to get to the airport.”

“Oh, okay,” Sherry said. She herself then climbed out of the bed. After a quick search for something to put on, she realized Darren was ready to go quicker than she thought, so she grabbed the white sheet off of the bed and wrapped it around her body. “Glad you woke up on time.”

“Yeah,” Darren said as he buttoned up his shirt.

A few silent moments passed before Darren headed out to the living room. Sherry followed, not really sure of what to say to this guy. Now that they’d both come down from the thrill of drinking, dancing, then good sex, they were left to reveal their true selves. They were two different people who happened to be in the same world. Last night was definitely fun for the both of them, but neither of them looked at the other as someone they’d mix well beyond a one-night-stand.

At Sherry’s apartment door, Darren paused for a moment and looked at the bartender. “Thanks for showing me that place last night.”

“Yeah, of course,” Sherry said, still holding the sheet up around her body.

Darren took note of how hot this woman’s body was. The sheet accentuated her curves. “Next time I’m in Fort Wayne, which should be soon, I guess, maybe we could connect again and you could show me around?”

“Yeah, I like the sound of that,” Sherry said. She smiled and giggled. “I had a nice time with you. Um, thanks for sitting at the bar.”

Sherry’s sense of humor made Darren smile.

Darren and Sherry said their last few goodbye words. He leaned in to hug her, kiss her on the cheek, then proceeded out into the hallway then toward the steps. Just as he’d gotten to the first landing, he glanced back up at Sherry’s door. She leaned her head out just far enough for Darren to make eye contact for the last few seconds before she closed the door and he walked out into the sunny parking lot. The 33-year-old’s mind was somewhat lost in a trance as he navigated the neighborhood until finding a street that led downtown.

Chapter 2: Three Months Later

“Okay, I think I get it now,” Darren said. In his MKZ he’d driven from Chicago, he’d taken the long way across Ft. Wayne from one of his properties on the far south side to a small office park on the far north side. A sense of accomplishment came over Darren as he learned his way around the city. Now, all he had left to do was to find out where all the best bars were, what restaurants had the hottest women, and if any of the strip clubs were even the kinds of places he would step foot into. He still couldn't believe he actually lived here. Never did he think he’d trade life in Chicago for a slower, sleepier place in Ft. Wayne. Then again, the real estate opportunity was too profitable here to ignore.

Darren parked then walked into the glass office building, which set at the side of a retention pond. He was greeted by Doug’s secretary – an attractive, older woman who still had a youthful spirit about her – then sat in the lobby while he waited. Only seconds after picking up a Sports Illustrated, Doug came. He shook Darren’s hand then walked him back to his office.

“Well, nice to see you back in the city,” Doug said, sitting down at his desk. He grabbed some information and pushed it across to Darren. “Like we talked about on the phone, you’ve come to Fort Wayne to live. You purchased a Victorian when you first got here, but now want some other houses to where maybe you could rent the rooms out. Is that right?”

“Yes,” Darren said. “And, like I said, I want homes closer to to downtown. I can tell that revitalization efforts are about to really be underway here. There’s this area I kind of like, I think I told you about it in our emails...a lot of Victorian homes, I think by a river. I’m interested in properties I already have.”

Doug explained he already had some options ready to show on this winter day. Snow had already started dusting the parking lot, but wasn’t supposed to be heavy until later in the evening. Doug pointed at various addressed in areas with what Darren, answering any questions Mr. McWaters had. By 1 o’clock, Doug found the keys to the company vehicle and escorted his client out the door.

The more properties Darren saw that afternoon around the city, the more confident he felt about this endeavor. In fact, in the back of his mind as Doug drove back to his office building around 3 o’clock, Darren realized coming to a place to like this might be just what he needed to build his own empire of sorts. He already had five rental properties in the area that were turning out to be extremely lucrative. And based on what he was seeing as he looked out of the window, there was only going to be more opportunity for him to plant his flag, so to speak.

Around 4 o’clock, Darren was finally back to his new home – a 1914, restored Victorian with a carriage house above the detached garage. With five bedrooms, the house was certainly more space than a single man like himself needed. Naturally, the front, side, and back yards was much more than he was used to having in Chicago. Nonetheless, as Darren opened his blinds, a strange comfort came over him. It was quiet, no gunshots, and the neighbors were friendly.

Darren had just lay down on his couch, pushing his head back into his pillow, when his phone vibrated. His initial reaction had been to groan a bit because he thought it could be a tenant calling with a problem. He then remembered, though, how just a week ago he finally found a property management company to take on the burden of dealing with tenants. Darren looked at his phone, seeing that it was his mother calling. Damn. I would rather it be one of my tenants calling than her. Let me see what she wants today.

“Darren, are you busy at the moment?” his mother Joan asked. “I called you earlier, but you never called me back.”

“No, Mom, I’m not busy,” Darren said. “And sorry, I was riding around with Doug, looking at properties and stuff when you called. I didn’t want to be rude to him.”

“I understand, Dear,” Joan said. “Well, that’s why I was actually calling. Wanted to know what your feelings were. Haven’t talked to you in a while and wondered what you were thinking about the city now that you’re actually living there rather than just visiting like you were before.”

Darren gave his mother a run-down. He started with the properties he already purchased and how they were doing. He worked his way down the list to the urban renewal projects popping up all over the city. He gave the pros, cons, and made sure to shut up any and every time his mother cut him off to speak. She talked on and on about how the family was looking to branch out and, after considering a few other small cities in the Midwest, they would settle on investing the most money into Ft. Wayne if Darren felt like it would be the right place for it.

“Oh, yeah, there is opportunity here, Mom,” Darren said. “That’s for sure. When I’m riding around, I can definitely see it.”

“Okay, that’s good,” Joan said. “Glad to hear it. I’ll talk to your father about it later on in the evening, when he gets home from his meeting with the mayor. So, son...” Darren’s mother put on her imitation sweet voice – a voice that sent slight chills down her son’s spine because he knew what she was about to start talking about. “You know you’re getting a little older now and whatnot, and your cousins all have their families and stuff. I’m not talking about right now, of course, because you still have goals and whatnot there, but have you thought anymore about what we were talking about the last time we talked?”

Darren rolled his eyes and shook his head. He mouthed the word ‘fuck’ then recalled so vividly the conversation he had with his mother nearly two weeks ago. She seemed to take great pleasure in harping on him being open to finally settling down. “Yeah, I’ve given it more thought, Mom. Still thinking, really.”

“Well, I was just asking,” Joan said. “No reason to get defensive or anything like that. A mother will only be concerned. Well, what do the women seem like there? I know I used to get on you about finding a wife here in Chicago, but now that I’ve gotten older and look around a bit, I could see how maybe these wouldn’t be the kind of wife you want. So?”
“Mom, they seem nice,” Darren said. The only women he’d really talked to this time around were those he met at bars, in meetings, or who worked at the property management company. They all seemed “nice.” Then again, many of them knew what Darren was about business-wise. For that reason, he wasn’t surprised how some of them acted as if they were oh so interested in him when if her were walking down the street, such probably wouldn’t be the case. “I just don’t know, yet, so sorry I don’t have anything else to tell you. I told you how I feel about marriage. I know what you said, but that’s just what I feel.”

Again, for what seemed like the umpteenth time in his adult life, Darren listened to his mother go on and on about marriage and how it was important for him to get married for the sake of passing the family wealth down. Darren listened, as he always did, not saying much back. His mother could use his words as more fuel on the fire. Like always, he promised his mother he would think about it then came up with a flimsy excuse to rush her off the phone. He tossed his phone onto the other end of the couch as he leaned up, shaking his head. A nap was out of the question at this point. His mother, having gotten him worked up by the end of the conversation, ended the call with saying she’d be visiting soon, but wasn’t sure when.

“I’ m so sick of hearing that stuff,” Darren groaned to himself.

As he got up and made his way to the kitchen where he put together a lunch meat sandwich, all the references to him being over thirty and single with no children started creeping back into his mind. Sure, it was something he thought about often; however, the busier he was with everything else, the less of a priority getting married and having children seemed. Still, ,he couldn't ignore what had been happening around him with regards to his friends in Chicago.

Tommy married whats-her-name a couple of years after we graduated. He seems happy. Got a baby. Wife still in-shape. Then there’s Rachel. She’s already been married twice, got those two little kids. Saw her at that gala, married to that dude who works at the bank. Looking a little tired, now.

As Darren ate his sandwich, he thought about all of his peers who’d gone on and gotten married then had children. In some ways he felt left out. Then again, with the kind of life he had going with having to branch off and build his own part of the family business, his success more than made up for what he was missing when it came to getting married and having a family. Still, the idea of marriage scared him. In fact, whenever the last few girlfriends he had brought up the idea, he slowly pulled away as to not get to close to them or lead them on to thinking such a thing was in the cards.

I could lose everything… She could wind up taking the kids because she’s mad. What if she only loves me for the money? I could wind up like what’s-his-name...dude had his entire career ruined by a false accusation because the chick wasn’t happy with something. He was married to her and everything and she still did that. If I marry the wrong woman, she could really ruin my life. He thought about his properties, his business investments, and his other goals he still hadn’t accomplished. So much to lose, so little to gain by getting married.

***

Sherry slammed the glass of ice down under the tap then pushed the lever. She rubbed the sides of her head, wondering why her jaws tingled with that ugly nauseous feeling. For the last couple of days, she’d been waking up not feeling herself. In the beginning, she thought it was a cold or worse, a flu, coming on. She chugged some cold syrup, felt better for a while, then the same queasy feeling would come back. Now, here she was at 11 o’clock on a Thursday night and feeling like she shouldn’t have come to work. She was tired, a bit irritable, and the sick feeling just wouldn’t go away.

“Sherry, you all right?” Carl, the shift manager at The Blue Ivy asked.

“Yeah, I’m alright… Why?” Sherry looking up and across at the pudgy man.

Carl pointed toward the tap, drawing Sherry’s attention to the overflowing beer. Foam ran down the sides of the glass.

“Oh, damn,” Sherry said. She quickly pulled the glass away, wiped the sides, then set it on a tray for the waitress to come and grab. As she moved on to making the next drink, Carl approached her and grabbed her arm gently.

“Sherry, I can tell you’re not feeling well or something,” he said. “Maybe you have a bug or something, but I think you should probably just call it a night and go on home and get some rest. I’ll let you go on and leave now while it’s not snowing.”

At first, Sherry insisted she could stay because she needed the money. However, before she could even get Carl to walk away, the queasiness came on once again. Finally, she agreed to go. Carl allowed her to get a meal to take home then watched from the back window as she walked out into the snow-dusted parking lot and climbed into her Toyota.

Sherry’s ride home felt longer than usual, much like her ride to work. There were a couple of times, especially shortly after crossing the river, she felt like she would have to pull over and throw up. She pushed through and made it home, slamming her apartment door shut and glad that she made it without throwing up. After several minutes of her jaws tingling, the feeling finally subsided. Sherry stood up off of her couch so she could close her blinds. She then called her best friend Chrissy, who had been texting her earlier.

“Hello?” Chrissy answered.

“Hey, Chrissy, it’s me,” Sherry said. “Sorry I didn’t text you back earlier, but I got kinda busy up at the bar.”

“Sherry, you don’t sound real upbeat like usual,” Chrissy pointed out. “I remembered you said you weren’t feeling good in the text earlier, but I don’t know now.”

Sherry went into explaining how this feeling still hadn’t gone away after a few days. This morning, she’d woken up early so she could rush to the bathroom and throw up. She then talked about how it ruined her plans to go to the mall earlier in the day and buy some new clothes to replace those that were starting to get a little too tight. She finished off with saying how she still wanted to hang out with Chrissy and share a bottle of wine like she promised they would sometime this week.

“Sherry, um,” Chrissy started, hesitantly. “I don’t know how to say this, but...”

“But what?” Sherry asked. “What is it you gotta say, Chrissy? You know I hate when you talk like this.”

“Well, um,” Chrissy said then swallowed nervously. “Do you think that maybe you’re...you’re...pregnant?”

“Pregnant?” Sherry asked. The word rolled around in her mind – a word she hadn’t thought about in years since her last boyfriend. “Chrissy, no. Why would you ask something like that?”

Just as Chrissy got a few sentences into explaining, she cut herself off and said, “I’m on the way, Sherry. I’m on the way. I’m going to stop and get a pregnancy test and be on my way.”

“Chrissy, no,” Sherry said. “It’s probably going to start snowing and stuff. And I seriously doubt that I’m pregnant. Look, you know the weather is changing and stuff. I’m probably just getting sick and need to take a couple days’ rest or something.”

Chrissy wasn’t hearing it. After some back and forth, Sherry finally accepted that her friend was on the way with a pregnancy test. She had even started repeating over and over that she wasn’t pregnant and that doing all of this is silly.

While Sherry waited on Chrissy to come knocking at the door, she straightened up around her apartment. A stack of unopened mail had been building on her table, so she shoved it into a Kroger bag and tossed it onto the kitchen table. She made her bed then gathered up some of the piles of clothes. When she’d finally stepped into the bathroom to see what needed to be tidied up in there, she found herself stuck in front of the mirror and fixed on her own reflection. She took note of the her weight gain; the fatigued look in her face. “Pregnant?” She took a deep breath in thought.

Twenty minutes passed until there was a knock at the door. Sherry let Chrissy in, looking down at the Walgreen’s bag in her hand. Her heart thumped; the pregnancy test seemed to be the only thing in the bag. Nervousness overcame her. She sat down on the couch with Chrissy consoling her after they hugged and said their hellos.

“I really don’t think I am, Chrissy,” Sherry insisted. “I mean, I hope I’m not. God, I hope I’m not. I can’t afford a child right now just working at the bar thirty hours, if that, a week. Look at this place. I’m not set up to have a baby.”

Chrissy, who was a bit plump but certainly prettier than the average woman, hugged her friend again. “I’m not saying that I hope you are, Sherry,” she explained, “but before you go chugging down a bunch of medicine, I...I...I think you should really take a test just to be sure. That’s all.”

Sherry looked into Chris's eyes with so much uncertainty. Since that Darren guy from Chicago, she hadn’t even been with another guy. Before that, there were a couple “friends with benefits,” but nothing that was worth mentioning. She didn’t remember exactly when she stopped taking her birth control, but her sex life had slowed down so much it fell to the back of the line in terms of priorities.

“Okay, okay,” Sherry said. “I’ll do it, I’ll do it. Like you said, just so I can know and be relieved that it’s not being pregnant that’s causing me to feel like this.”

Chrissy reminded Sherry that she would always be there for her and that she loved her like a sister. Together, they took the test out of the bag and read over the directions before Sherry somberly headed toward the bathroom. She looked into Chrissy’s eyes one last time as she pushed the door shut, hoping to God and the heavens above that she would walk out of the bathroom with a smile on her face.

The next few minutes were agonizing. A level of suspense Sherry had never felt before in her life nearly caused her hands to tremble. Sure, she had her fun times in life. She was a bit of a party girl when she was younger and wound up dropping out of college, but she managed to support herself and was thinking about her next step in life. Having a baby would totally derail any ambitions. On top of that, she’d have to face her family – conservative people who by in large avoided having children out of wedlock, or having them while working a low-paying job.

Once Sherry realized that enough time had passed, she hesitantly reached over from the toilet, where she’d been sitting, and grabbed the test. Her heart seemed to stop for a second – her stomach sunk. The test result was positive, indicating that she was pregnant.

“Oh my God!” Sherry yelled. “I don’t believe this.”

“Sherry?” Chrissy yelled, getting closer to the door. “Sherry?” She knocked on the door. “You okay, Sherry? You okay? What does it say?”

With her eyes swelling with inevitable tears, she yanked the bathroom door open. She held the test out in front of her, motioning for Chrissy to grab it and have a look herself. She did, and looked at the results. With her mouth hanging open – an expression which only sent Sherry deeper into her confused state – she looked up at her best friend. Chrissy had not the faintest idea of what to say. “Sherry, I...”

Sherry’s blank stare was alarming. The world stopped spinning. Was this a bad dream? Had she gone to sleep when getting in from work and was now dreaming a terrible dream about something that would change her life forever?

Chrissy wrapped her arms around her best friend and hugged her tightly, telling her everything was going to be okay. Before Sherry could pull away from Chrissy’s embrace, her head dropped into her shoulder. She sobbed loudly as Chrissy gently guided her down the hall and back to the couch. There, the two friends sat next to one another while Chrissy tried to lift her spirits with positivity. It took a while for Sherry to stop crying, but once she finally did, she could start to come to grips with things. And Chrissy being there was turning out to probably be better than taking the test and going through all of these emotions alone.

***

It was now nearly 1 o’clock in the morning. This day seemed to be dragging on forever. Sherry said her goodbyes to Chrissy, walked her down to her car, and saw her off. She trudged back into the building, every step feeling heavier than the previous one. By the time she got back up to her apartment, her mind was so consumed with questions she could help but to close the door then lean against it for a moment. Processing the test results while Chrissy was here with her was one thing; however, now that she was alone in her apartment with her own thoughts, the feeling was something else. With a heavy heart, and a confused soul, Sherry headed for her bedroom, dragging her feet. She nearly collapsed into her bed a few moments later. For much of the night, until the sun nearly came up in the morning, Sherry stared into the dark and thought about how her life would change. She rubbed her stomach. Time was already ticking until she would have a little baby running around.

How could this have happened? How did this happen?

Chapter 3: Seven Months Later

“Yeah, man, stuff is going good here I gotta say,” Darren said. With the warm, June breeze whipping into the car, Darren rolled through downtown with his brother John. John, who was older than him by two years, had finally gotten around to coming to visit his brother and having a look at some of the investment properties. They’d been having a beer at a bar up on the north side when the manager of a construction company Darren contracted for remodeling called about meeting this afternoon. They hopped into Darren’s MKZ and headed toward the apartment complex. “Can’t lie, though, it’s a little strange getting used to being somewhere so small compared to Chicago, but I guess it’s okay…for the sake of making money. The conditions certainly are right here.”

“Yeah, I remember you telling me that,” John said. The line-backer-looking guy removed his sunglasses then ran his hands through his brown hair. “I don’t know if it’s for me, but Mom sure likes that you’re here.”

“Mom,” Darren said, shaking his head. “She’s still talking that marriage crap.”

“Now, now,” John said, his tone sarcastic. “I’m married, so don’t you forget.”

“Yeah, I know,” Darren said. “You know Mom keeps harping on it and stuff, but I don’t know. Just seems like it’s become too risky. I don’t even see the benefit to it. I mean, what’s it gonna bring to my life at this point? Looks like nothing but stress.”

John chuckled. “Yeah, it has its stressful moments, but you just have to find the right one.”

Darren’s eyes slanted over toward his brother. “Dude, you’re full of shit. Look what happened the first two times.” He referred to John’s first two marriages, one of which was while he was in college and only lasted for six months. The family wound up basically having the pay the woman to go away. Then John’s second marriage, which lasted for five years, ended with John having to split nearly half of his assets. And the woman didn’t even have children by him, and he wasn’t that young, so he didn’t necessarily lose as much as he would now that he was approaching 40.

John and Darren talked back and forth about marriage until they pulled into the parking lot of the Oak Terrace Apartments. The construction contractor was already waiting up by the door. John joined Darren while they and the contractor walked around the complex. John offered his input where necessary; Daren made sure to discuss the budget with the contractor. The both of them were glad they decided to dress somewhat down today as to not draw too much unwanted attention from the neighborhood people. This apartment complex wasn’t the sort of place either of them would hang out, but the profit expectations were so good Darren couldn’t resist buying it.

John looked back at the complex as they pulled off and headed back up the area’s main road. “Okay, looks like it might be a good investment.”

“Gee, thanks, John,” Darren said, sarcastically. “You know everything I do in life, I do for your approval.”

John playfully pushed Darren’s shoulder then Darren brought up the idea of them going to a winery to kill time. Twenty minutes later, they were sitting in the calm, sophisticated Luanne’s. Soft piano music played in the background. Their waitress happened to be a redhead with a bit of a southern accent. While Darren wasn’t necessarily the kind of guy who was wooed by accents, the woman was certainly attractive. John giggled as his younger brother flirted lightly with the waitress while she took their orders. He snickered when she zipped off to another table.

“What are you over there snickering about?” Darren asked.

“Dude, when are you gonna just settle down and get married?” John asked. He raised his hands, giving a surrender gesture. “I know, I know, I know. Marriage kinda scares you, and I don’t blame you. But what are you going to do, dude? Are you going to just keep playing the field until you’re like fifty or something?”

Darren blushed, shaking his head as he chuckled. “Well, I wouldn’t say that.”

“Come on, be honest with me,” John said. “You know I know you. You’ve been here in Fort Wayne how many months? Like seven or eight by now? How many chicks have you bedded since you got here? And look into my eyes while you tell me, Darren.”

Darren purposely looked away with a bashful facial expression then finally turned back to his brother. “Look, man, I’ve turned a new leaf. I’m a lot more focused here than I was back in Chicago. Really, I am. Plus, I got Mom and Dad calling me about doing this and that, and you know how that can be.”

“Hmm, hmm,” John said. “I want a number.”

“Dude, it’s not about the number,” Darren said, knowing that he’d already had a few one-night stands. “What matters is that I just don’t know how I feel about getting married and all that. I just don’t.” He held his hands up. “Just seems like there is a lot to lose. I know Mom talks all this stuff about having someone to leave my assets to and all that, but still gotta consider a lot of things. I feel the pressure, dude. I really do. You got married in your twenties, but you don’t know what it’s like to have people starting to look at you funny as you get older and still don’t have a wife or some kids. You know, when I was younger and used to hear about that kind of stuff or see it on TV or whatever, I really didn’t think much about it. Now that I’m older, though, I really see what they’re talking about.”

John’s head shook as he chuckled. “Man, you just have to meet the right one. I have faith in you.”

Darren scuffed. “Yeah...right. But I do want kids, honestly. Not gonna deny that.”

John’s eyes bulged. He set his wine glass down on the table. “You, Darren? You want children?”

“Yeah, of course,” Darren said, as if such were obvious. “You know I love kids. Hell yeah, I would like to have some kids. Two at least….maybe three if everything is right. I’m just not sure about the marriage part. I don’t want to lose everything or wind up in some horrible situation where the woman can basically try to control me through the courts. You know I don’t like being told what to do.”

“Oh, I know,” John said, quickly thinking back to his brother’s spats with their parents when they were kids. “And yeah, man...kids are great. You just gotta make sure that you have them with the right person or else everything can turn into a hellhole before you know it.”

“Exactly,” Darren said. “Seems to be a lot of shit shows going on nowadays...with the courts helping to pile on even more.”

John laughed again. “Well, man, maybe you just need to be one of those people who adopts a child without even being married or anything if it really means that much to you.”

“Awe, man, cut it out,” Darren said, shaking his head. “You know they’re probably not going to let some single, unmarried guy adopt a baby. People would probably be looking at me like I’m some creep or something. Having a kid now would be nice. I feel like I’m ready for it...and honestly, raising one in a place like this would probably be a lot easier and better than in Chicago.” He shrugged.

“Yeah,” John said. “But dude, I’m telling you, you could do something like that. And, you know, we have the resources. I’m sure Mom or Dad could easily help pull a few strings and get something like that moving along. You remember that story about that guy in Wisconsin who adopted twin girls, I think…. Dude, you could make it a story and really help your name...especially in a place like this. People would be calling you a hero, especially if you got some baby with some ole sob story that will make people tear up and stuff.”

As Darren prepared to respond, the waitress approached the table with a fresh bottle of wine then asked if they wanted to order food. John glanced at the menu then gave his order. Darren found himself staring off toward the front of the winery, out of the window and at Calhoun Street. A guy, who looked to be about forty years old and slightly balding, pulled a little boy down the street. The boy, who looked to be no more than three years-old, tugged his father’s hand hard enough to make the man stop and turn around. He pointed up toward something, stealing the father’s attention. Whatever it was the little boy pointed at, Darren couldn’t see; however, what Darren did see was not only a guy like himself taking care of a child, but also how the guy was investing in someone to leave whatever he built while living rather than it vanishing into thin air once he left this earth.

Could a man really adopt a child, even though he’s not married? It would probably be complicated, but like John says, I could give it a go. Do you really want a child right now, Darren? Forty will be here before I know it, though. And do I really want to be starting off as a parent at like forty years old? Or do I want to go ahead and get moving on this now so I can still use some of my younger years with him rather than being old? Dude, you don’t even know if some adoption agency in this state would go for that. A single man with no wife walking into the office and trying to adopt a child. That shit doesn’t even seem possible.

Darren was pulled out of his daze by the waitress asking him for his order. He simply ordered a small Greek salad, sending the waitress on her way. For the next hour and a half, the two brothers talked while they waited on their food, ate, then headed out and back into the afternoon sun. Darren stopped by his house so his brother could get his suitcases then they headed for the airport. Outside of the entrance, John hugged his brother as they said their goodbyes.

“Man, just keep your eyes open,” John said. “And you might change your mind on marriage.”

Before Darren could respond, John held up his finger signaling he wait for a moment. His phone rang. It was his wife, Melanie, calling to make sure he was getting his flight on time. Darren could hear the sound of yelling children through the phone. He went on that said goodbye to John, telling him to get on into the airport, then he walked back out to his car.

When Darren pulled up at his house, the sun was beginning its slow decent out of the sky. It now set just above the trees, illuminating the hundreds of steeples spanning across the city. He leaned his head back into the seat in thought. The children running up and down the street, enjoying the last couple of hours of daylight before the moon took the sun’s place in the sky, caught his attention on numerous occasions. Despite his success in business, that hole was still there. On top of that, his family harping on him about starting a family so wealth could be passed down rather than lost wore on his mind...even when he didn’t know it.

After a few minutes in thought, as well as reading through emails he missed while at the winery with his brother, Darren finally trudged up into the house. John’s idea of him adopting a baby on his own really stuck with him as he settled in for the night, changing into gray sweatpants and a t-shirt. Still, however, he just wasn’t sure about the idea of leaving a wife out of the equation. No matter how much he liked the idea of raising a child on his own without the influence, and possible control, of a woman, his traditional mindsets still kicked in stronger. It was easy to believe that if he wanted the bigger picture, he would need a loving, supporting wife at his side.

Shortly after Darren snacked on some Chex mix, he’d been passing by his living room window when he noticed a newspaper on his porch. How did I miss that? He stepped out onto the porch, waved at a neighbor getting out of her car and heading into the house, and grabbed the paper. Not much of a newspaper kind of guy, he decided to skim through it and see what the local journalists talked about. A few minutes into his surf, toward the middle of the paper, he came across a story that strangely tied in well with what the choices weighing on his mind: a man getting screwed by marriage.

Darren sat down on the bottom step, just next to a lamp on an end table by the door. He read through the story then shook his head as he finished the last paragraph. The story was the chilling account of a Ft. Wayne man who had gone through the adoption process with his wife in efforts to adopt a baby girl. Shortly after the process had gone through, and they settled into life with the child, the wife filed for divorce. According to the article, the wife left her husband to pursue a relationship with a younger man she’d secretly been seeing for a year. The part of the story that really struck a cord with Darren was how the courts awarded the wife a child support order against the now ex-husband. Under the eyes of the law, he is considered to be the child’s father. Darren closed the paper, shaking his head as he stood up and headed back toward into his kitchen.

***

Sherry pulled into The Blue Ivy parking lot shortly after the sun had gone done. Couples and families strolled downtown streets, some headed to parks while others to restaurants. Her car, on shaky ground at best, rumbled into the parking lot then she pulled it into a spot at the side of the building. With thirty pounds of extra weight on her at this point, Sherry struggled to climb out of her car. She pressed her hand into her back, stretched a bit, then headed toward the sidewalk. At nine months pregnant, she was ready for this baby to come. “Any day now,” she would often joke, especially when her days were long and drawn out. The stress showed on her face; irritability was the name of the game. Before turning the corner to walk along the front of the building, Sherry glanced around the parking lot to make sure she saw Carl’s car. Her nostrils flared from just thinking about him and the run-around he’d been giving her when it came it getting her last check.

Sherry forced a smile to Liz, a newer waitress who zipped around the way she could up until a few months ago. Liz spoke for a moment, in a rush, and asked Sherry how she was doing. “Girl, you look like you’re going to drop that baby any day now.”

Sherry scuffed, shaking her head. “Yeah, I wish it had been yesterday,” she said. “Where is Carl? I’m here to see him. Can you get him? When you get a chance, that is.”

Liz finished up tending to a table then went to the back. A couple of minutes later Carl walked out behind the bar. He obviously was not happy to see Sherry – a waitress whom had wound up having to let go of because not only of her new nasty attitude, but also slowness and struggle to show up to work because of her pregnancy. He knew exactly why she was there: to get a check he knew he specifically mailed to her twice. And both times, something supposedly happened to where she didn’t get it. Now, a couple of months later, the busy manager had to take time out of his day to deal with a 9-months-pregnant woman who he thought probably resented being fired while pregnant. Sherry approached the bar.

“Sherry, we talked about this,” Carl said. “I told you I mailed that check to you twice. I’m not going to keep going through this if there’s something wrong with however you get mail.”

Sherry placed her hand on her stomach and leaned forward on the bar. “Carl, I told you I was sorry. I really am, but I never got that check. I just never got it. I know you’re probably busy and all that. I know, I know. But still, you know I need that money. I ain’t been working in nearly two months now, so I gotta have it. Can’t you just write me a check like you did when what’s-his-name quit and be done with it already?”

“Sherry, you know I’ve already had enough crap from the owner because of you,” Carl explained. “And that checkbook isn’t for paying employees...especially employees who haven’t even worked here in two months. I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through, but you’ll have to call the company office and go through them.”

“But, Carl, when I called them they told me to come in and talk to you,” Sherry said. “And now you’re not answering my calls when I call you, so I had to come up here. Look at me, Carl. Look at me. I’m nine months pregnant, broke and tired. Do you really think I wanted to come up here like this and do all this just for fun?”

Carl looked Sherry up and down for a moment, remembering the pretty, social butterfly she used to be. Once upon a time, he truly had a thing for her. His hitting on her never worked – went unnoticed. He obviously wasn’t her type. Now, as he looked at her, he couldn’t help but to wonder who the father was and why she obviously wasn’t getting much help from him. Without realizing, he shook his head.

Sherry’s eyes bugged when she picked up on Carl’s disapproving. Now, it was starting to makes sense. Sherry always knew the manager had a thing for her, but there were always a lot of vibes he gave off that turned her off of him. Truthfully, Sherry picked up on his spoiled brat demeanor by the way he talked to some of the other waitresses who ignored his advances.

“Carl, please,” Sherry said, raising her voice a bit. “The check wasn’t even for that much. You know you could easily write it and all this could be over.”

Carl huffed a bit then looked at Sherry as if she were the biggest nuisance in the world. He slammed his clipboard down on the bar then headed into the back. A couple minutes passed then the door came swinging open. He darted out, up to the counter, then slammed the check down. “Here you go, Sherry. Okay? Here’s your freakin’ check.”

Before Sherry could slide down the bar and reach for the check, Carl turned away like a madman and went on about his business. His movement caused enough of a wind to pick up that the check blew off of the bar then onto the floor, a couple of feet from Sherry. A disappointed groan slipped out of her lips as she thought about how hard it was going to be for her to bend over and pick up the check. Almost calculating her movement, she took a deep breath then bent over and scooped the check up off of the floor. Just as she stood upright once again, pressing her hand into her lower back, she heard Carl gripe, probably thinking he was doing so under his breath, “Only kept her on for that long because she was pretty.”

Sherry’s face reddened, but she resisted the urge to give Carl a piece of her mind. She had too many other things to worry about, so she went on and walked back out into the winter night. She pulled her coat closed and trekked down the street, mindful of her every step as the last thing she needed right now was a fall. Shortly after climbing back into her car, she paused for a moment. With her eyes glued to The Blue Ivy’s side brick wall, she thought about all of the events that had unfolded in her life recently. For lack of a better phrase, Sherry felt like her car was heading toward the edge of a cliff. She could see it – the cliff coming up then the subsequent fall to her death – but her pressing the brake did nothing to stop it.

Pregnant. I’m 23 years-old, pregnant, and haven’t told my family yet. Chrissy says I shouldn’t think that deep into it, but I already know what they’re going to say. Sister...brother...cousins...all had things going for themselves, got married, then had kids. And here I am...the youngest, the poorest, and the one who’s knocked up...out of job and staying at my best friend’s place until...until I don’t know when. Father? Not in the picture and I’m not all that interested in finding him.

Then the worrying news delivered by her doctor just a couple of weeks ago crept back into her mind: some cells on Sherry’s breasts looked like they could be cancerous. Because certain scans and tests were too dangerous to do on a woman is nine-months pregnant, the first order of business after she gave birth was to look at the situation and see if treatment was necessary. With the kind of luck Sherry had been having, there wasn’t any doubt in her mind the cells would be cancerous. Stage 4, possibly. However, if there was one silver lining in such a messed up situation, it was the fact that her pregnancy helped to pick up on these cells before they advanced too much.

“Fuck,” Sherry groaned. Snow started falling once again. Once upon a time, even into her adulthood, she was that person that loved the snow – loved the way the city looked when covered in a white dusting. Now, snow was representative of something else. Being early in the winter, it was only bound to get colder...much like Sherry’s life.

After dwelling on her situation, Sherry sighed then started her car so she could head back to Chrissy’s place. She had no interest in being caught out in a snowstorm in the middle of the night. She turned out onto the street then headed south, zigzagging through the south side of downtown until she got onto Broadway Street. Shortly after crossing under the railroad, her car started jutting violently. Then, a strange scraping sound followed and her speed suddenly decreased. As the street sloped back up from the dip under the viaduct, her car jerked forward a few times more, at moments so powerful it sent Sherry’s own body thrusting forward. Her nerves were on edge; her heart pumped as she tried to make sense of it all. Next thing Sherry knew, her car stopped. She restarted it a couple of times, each time putting it into DRIVE then trying to move forward. The car didn’t move.

“Fuck, now the transmission goes out,” Sherry said. “Fuck!”

Cars zoomed by, not a single one stopping to help. Uselessly, Sherry started the engine a few times more only to find the car stalled and unable to move. She rammed her fists into the horn as the sky only got darker. After a few minutes of helplessly thinking about how her life had turned to total shit since finding out she was pregnant, her eyes swelled. She gripped the sides of the wheel, using every bit of strength she had left to keep from slamming her forehead into the steering wheel. Once she finally got herself together, now on the verge of tears but knowing she had to do something other than sit out on a snowy street, she dug her phone out of her pocket and called Chrissy. Guilt consumed her because she’d been depending on Chrissy so much, but she didn’t know what else to do.

“Chrissy, I’m so sorry,” Sherry pleaded when her best friend answered. “But my transmission went out on Broadway. Can you please come and get me?” She tried to hold back from sobbing, but this all was turning out to be just too much. She wiped her eyes then continued. “I’m sorry, Chrissy, but can you please come get me?”

Like the good friend she was, Chrissy consoled Sherry then promised that she was on the way. While she waited, making sure to turn on her hazard lights, she drowned in sorrow and reflected on this circumstance she never thought she would find herself enthralled in. She looked around at her car, knowing there was no way in hell she would ever be able to pay to get the transmission fixed. Even if it somehow only were to cost a few thousand dollars, her bank account was slowly approaching negative; her credit cards had officially been maxed out a month ago.

Sherry couldn’t help but to look down at her stomach as she waited on Chrissy to pull up. The very thought of having a newborn then having to possibly go through radiation or chemo treatments seemed so bleak – so damn gloomy. The world seemed to be crumbling beneath her feet while a rope handing down to save her was quickly being lifted up just as she reached for it. Never in her worst nightmares did she think her life would wind up in such shambles.

“How in the world am I going to take care of a baby?” she cried to herself. “I’m due any day now.” She leaned her head forward onto the steering wheel and sobbed while she waited.

Chapter 4: Two Weeks Later

Sherry rubbed her stomach as she lay in the spare bedroom at Chrissy’s place. For the better part of the last hour, she’d been looking up at the ceiling. She and Chrissy had finished eating dinner then, feeling so heavy and tired, Sherry trudged down the hallway and into the bedroom. Not even bothering to push the door closed, she simply collapsed in her bed, on her back. Her most recent doctor appointment had been nearly a two weeks ago today. And she was due nearly a week ago.

Chrissy paced back and forth down the hall while yapping on the phone with a coworker. They talked about some issues with a report as well as the company needing to change its policies. From the depths of her dark room, Sherry looked at her friend’s silhouette, thankful that she had someone in her life who was willing to help her during her time of need. Sure, she could get back in touch with her family and work toward rebuilding her somewhat strained relationship with them. Being the black sheep, though, made it more difficult than she was willing to deal with at a time like this. Her family would probably happily treat her like charity. With her delivery looming, she closed her eyes and started drifting off to sleep as heavy chunks of snow fell to the streets.

Around midnight, the only noise in Chrissy’s apartment was that of the dripping kitchen faucet. The snowfall still hadn’t slowed down. The street light just outside of the living room window buzzed. Sherry’s eyes popped open. Fatigue known only to a pregnant woman whose delivery date has passed by seven days set in quickly. Her desperate urge to pee was too great to ignore, so she pulled her legs off of the bed and headed to the bathroom.

Sherry leaned back as the sound of her flow filled the bathroom. She looked up at the ceiling, gripping the side of the sink as support. No sooner than she’d gotten up, flushed, then headed back out into the hallway, she felt what seemed like a big cramp. She screamed out, grabbing her stomach then wincing as she looked down. Light from the bathroom reached out into the hallway between her legs. The woman looked down to discover her water had broken.

“Oh shit!” Sherry said, breathing heavily. She couldn’t help but to smile – a smile of joy as well as of fear. “Oh shit, oh shit.” She laughed. “Really?”

Commotion came from Chrissy’s room. Before Sherry could process everything, her bedroom door swung open. Chrissy darted down the hallway, asking what was going on. She stopped as she got within two feet of Sherry then covered her mouth. “Oh my God, Sherry. Your water broke.”

Sherry, smiling, finally looked up. “I know, I know… I was...” Before she could finish explaining, a sharp pain whisked through her stomach. She let out a wale. Sweat popped out of her forehead as she realized she was having a contraction. “Oh my God, Chrissy! Oh my God! We gotta get to the hospital, we gotta get to the hospital!”

Chrissy rushed around to get the baby bag then helped Sherry into her coat. With car keys in hand, the two friends headed outside and walked down the steps to the parking lot. Shortly after Chrissy helped Sherry into the car then pulled out onto the street, Sherry leaned forward in pain and gripped her stomach. “Oh my God, Chrissy! It just did it again!” She took deep breaths. “Please, hurry up!”

“Okay, okay,” Chrissy said. “Just try to stay calm, Sherry. I’m taking the quickest way to Memorial. Just stay calm..deep breaths”

Chrissy carefully pulled through stoplights when the coast was clear; took curves and turns carefully as the streets were increasingly packed with dense, somewhat icy snow. In the fifteen minutes it took to get to Memorial Hospital, she noticed Sherry’s contractions getting closer together. The anxiety was almost too much to deal with. At times, she feared her friend might start to give birth in the car right next to her. When Sherry screamed out in pain, Chrissy grinded her teeth.

Chrissy rushed into Memorial and notified the ER staff that her friend was in labor. She grabbed the baby bag, watched the hospital staff come out and rush the pregnant woman inside, then quickly parked her car. By the time she got back to the ER entrance, they had just finished checking Sherry in – getting her information. Chrissy held Sherry’s hand as she cried tears of joy and pain on the elevator. “Thank you so much, Chrissy,” Sherry said, taking deep breaths and stopping every-so-often to scream out in pain from another contraction.

Chrissy told Sherry how much she loved her as well then the hospital staff carried her off to the delivery room. There, Sherry sat in the waiting area, with the baby bag. A couple of hours passed; she’d nodded off and had woken up. Then she was up for two hours, watching CNN as she glanced down the hallway, anticipating somebody would be coming to tell her something. Again, she dozed off for a couple of hours then woke up to send an email to her boss that she probably wouldn’t be coming into the office in the morning.

Around 4 o’clock, woman accidentally hit her foot then said excuse. Once again, she looked at the television with the bag resting on her lap. Then, her attention was pulled away from Anderson Cooper with the twinkly music coming over the intercom signaling that a baby had just been born. Chrissy smiled as she looked down the hallway. The same doctor who had rushed to the gurney when the elevator doors opened came walking down the hallway, clearly looking for someone. Quickly, Chrissy jumped up out of the seat and crossed the waiting area. She met the doctor at the entrance to the hallway and was greeted with the news that her friend Sherry had delivered a beautiful baby boy at 4:23am.

***

Sherry sat in the backseat of Chrissy’s car the following afternoon. A snowstorm had passed over the city during the early morning hours, blanketing the streets with a clean layer of snow. The thick clouds that had blocked last night’s stars had rolled on, making way for sunshine to reach down and kiss the white winter wonderland. She smiled then looked down at baby Gabriel, who she cradled in her arms. Even though so much uncertainty about her life hung around like a dark cloud, there was something about looking into this beautiful baby’s eyes that made her think and feel things she never had before.

The next few days were like the first days of a new life for Sherry. She struggled with getting up in the middle of the night to tend to Gabriel’s crying as he lay in a used crib at the front of her bed. Figuring out formula was one thing; she tried breastfeeding, but didn’t too much care for it. No matter how hard dealing with a newborn baby was for the new mother, the mental anguish of what could come in terms of her health overshadowed it all. An array of emotions overcame her when she thought about how she still hadn’t told her family she was pregnant, let alone that she’d given birth to a baby boy – to her family’s sixth grandchild.

The following Friday didn’t exactly help her anxiety about her life. Now that she’d given birth, it was time for her oncology appointment to see what should be done about the cancerous cells. The doctors as well as Sherry were very concerned about these cells going untreated in the last few months. Chrissy arranged to be home to watch Gabriel so Sherry could go to her appointment. Sherry thanked her for being a good friend as she kissed Gabriel on the forehead then headed out the door to use Chrissy’s car. The car ride to the doctor’s office was anything but joyful, but at this point Sherry could only hope for the best. She still wasn’t sure of how she was going to take care of this child if she wasn’t working and didn’t have a car.

The nurse came out to the waiting room nearly 15 minutes after Sherry got back from radiology. Trying to keep her mind off of her sorrow, she’d been flipping through magazines. Various articles inspired her on ways she would lose the baby weight and get back to how she’s been before – how she’d been when she was working at the Blue Ivy and had guys hitting on her all night.

Following the nurse’s lead, Sherry stood up and followed the woman back to the doctor’s office. There, she waited another ten minutes or so. Listening to the doctor go from room to room around her was certainly nerve-racking. No matter how hard she tried to not think about it, lately her life had been so much sorrow that dwelling on the negative was inevitable. As soon as she’d fallen into a deep thought about how she would handle whatever news the doctor had for her...and how she would take care of this child should it be the worse...the doctor swung open. Doctor Ali, the oncologist, walked in carrying a folder. He greeted Sherry then sat down at the computer and pulled up some scans.

Sherry’s eyes swelled with tears as the doctor spoke, pointing at the scan and explaining his observation. Her stomach sunk as the doctor explained that the cancer in her cells had grown and that she would need to start treatment right away. As things were looking now, she would probably need treatment at least a few times a week for months. Sherry felt like her heart broke as she listened to the doctor describe the symptoms she would be feeling between the treatments. Sherry couldn’t help but to turn toward the window, looking out at a shopping center in the distance, as her world seemed to slow down. If there were any other time she felt like jumping off of a cliff, today would be the day. Then, little Gabriel came to mind. Her eyes watered up. This can’t be happening.

The rest of the appointment was somber, as to be expected. Doctor Ali handed Sherry some tissue, seeing the woman was taking the news a bit hard. Nevertheless, he made sure to highlight the positive aspects of everything. He gently rubbed Sherry’s shoulder as he explained that unlike most patients, she caught her cancer long before it progressed into Stage 4. Treatment options had advanced so much compared to the past that Ali was more than confident Sherry would come out just fine after a couple of months. However, the man could tell that the patient, who had obviously just given birth, wasn’t comforted by his words. She looked blankly off into space, nodding as he presented her with the information.

Sherry made her followup appointment with Ali’s secretary, forced a smile and thanked the woman then headed back out to Chrissy’s car. There, in the sunlight, she leaned her head back in thought as her eyes stared off at a nearby snow-covered retention pond. Stray tears rolled down her cheek as she held back from sobbing. Her head crooked over to the right. Her thoughts consumed her; the stress showed on her face, even through the makeup.

Treatments. How much is this going to cost? Sherry imagined hospital bills showing up in her P.O. box – herself opening them and seeing balances she wouldn’t be able to pay.

Falling sick between the treatments. What about Gabriel? Glancing around at the car, Sherry couldn’t help but to think about how she was literally depending on her friend Chrissy to take care of them. How long would that last? After so long, Chrissy is going to be tired of doing this. I don’t have a car...no job and it looks like getting one isn’t even in the picture.

Sherry sat in the car for ten minutes until the chill of the winter air set in. She pulled off, heading back to Chrissy’s apartment. She needed help, desperately. The idea of telling her family still sent chills through her bone. Sherry could only imagine her father’s reaction; her mother’s inevitable judgmental statements. She hadn’t talked to her family for nearly three years, except for running into a cousin at Kroger one day. What would she do if such a thing were to happen again, right now? How would she explain carrying a baby?

Sherry thanked Chrissy for watching Gabriel when she got back to the apartment. Chrissy then jotted out the door, heading to work so she could at least get a half-day. There, until Chrissy got back that evening, Sherry sat on the living room couch. She held Gabriel in her arms, trying her best to look into his entrancing blue eyes and sing what few lullaby melodies she knew. Her efforts were useless, though, to warm her own spirits. Even though she loved this baby with all of her heart, like any new mother would, there were certain realities that were starting to settle in. She sniffled while looking around the apartment.

“I’m so sorry, Gabriel,” she sobbed. Sherry’s head drooped down as she realized there were certain choices she would have to make. In her situation – a situation which looked like it would be becoming her new normal for quite some time – there was just no way she would be able to give this child the live he deserved.

***

Sherry lay in bed the next morning, looking over at Gabriel’s crib. “Please don’t wake up,” she whispered. Her eyes were still heavy from the night before. The beautiful baby boy had woken up three times during the night, making the new mother jump out of the bed and tend to him. Now, though, at 7 in the morning, Sherry lay with her eyes facing the window and looking out at the tops of nearby houses and the church steeples rising in the background as orange hues from the sun penetrated the canopy of trees. Her phone lay at her side; the Hope Adoption Agency website saved in her bookmarks.

When Chrissy slammed the apartment door shut, Sherry slid out of bed. She carefully curved around Gabriel's crib then up to the window. She looked down a the parking lot, still covered in snow from the day before. Sherry stood, almost feeling invisible in the window, as she watched her best friend climb into her car and pull off, disappearing once she turned out onto a busy street a couple of blocks up.

Thoughts echoed in her mind thanks to the early morning silence when she approached the !!br0ken!! She leaned over, looking down at Gabriel and his tiny body wrapped up in blankets. Ever so gently, Sherry reached down and touched his tiny hand, balled up in a fist. She sniffled, knowing what had been on her mind for most of the night. “This is gonna be better for you,” she said, wiping a tear away from her cheek. “Gabriel, you hear me? This is gonna be better for you.”

Eventually, Sherry pulled her swelling eyes away from her newborn baby. She reached across her bed, grabbed her phone, then slipped out into the hallway. Pacing around the living room, Sherry read about the Hope Adoption Agency – the process, the confidentiality. Every so often, she would peek out of the window to see if for some reason Chrissy was coming back. Last night, shortly after putting Gabriel into his crib, she had a heart-filled conversation with Chrissy and explained some of the things that had been on her mind. Chrissy seemed supportive, but Sherry truly wondered what was really going through her mind. Nonetheless, she had made her mind up last night that with the news she’d gotten from Dr. Ali, raising Gabriel at this point in her life probably wouldn’t be fair to him. Furthermore, there was just no telling when she would be back on her feet.

Sherry pressed the agency’s contact number then sat down on the couch. She gnawed at the tips of her fingernails while listening to the phone ring. Almost hoping someone wouldn’t answer, her heart skipped a beat when a representative picked up. “Hope Adoption Agency,” a cheerful woman answered.

Sherry gripped her chest for a moment before pushing the words out of her mouth – words she’d been imagining for much of the night as she weighed her the few pros of her life against the mountain of cons. “Hello, my name is….” she caught herself and stopped so she wouldn’t say her name, just in case she decided to not through with it. “Well, I just had a baby and,” she sniffled, “I wanted to speak with somebody at hope about the process for giving the child up for adoption. I’m...I’m...I’m just not in a position to raise a child right now at this point in my life.”

Sherry listened as the very nurturing woman explained how she totally understood then went on to explain that the Hope Adoption Agency was one of the leading agency’s in this region of the state. Mothers could hand their child over the same day as consultation, information would be sealed from public records as to the identity of the birth mother as well as who wound up adopting the child. The woman then finished up the call asking when Sherry wanted to come in to meet with a case manager.

“Can I come in today?” Sherry asked, whispering even though she was alone. “I am free today to come in. I can get a Uber or something and come today, as soon as possible.”

“Actually, Miss,” the woman said, “we have a staff member here who, especially for young mothers, can come and pick you up. Would you mind giving me your address and what time you and the baby will be ready? Also, before we proceed, how old is the child?”

“He’s...he’s...” Sherry took a deep breath before pushing the words out of her mouth. “He’s five days old, Ma’am.” She grabbed a piece of mail off of Chrissy’s coffee table then read the address out loud. “How about in an hour and a half or so? Would that be alright?”

The woman assured Sherry that whatever time worked for her would work for the staff member. Sherry thanked the woman then hung up. She tossed her phone into the couch then buried her face in her hands. This young mother truly felt there was no other option. So much doom and gloom loomed over her life in ways she never imagined. Little did she know, the ride down to the adoption agency would be a ride where every minute felt a little more precious. Gabriel had woken up, almost as if he knew his fraught mother was riding in the back of a minivan and on her way to an adoption agency.

Something seemed monumental about the moment the van pulled up in front of the agency. In a small, nondescript brown brick building, the agency was located in a small, compact neighborhood just west of downtown. The staff member who had come to get her – a black man who was very compassionate and cordial as to help her feel comfortable – opened the van door then guided the mother and her bundled-up baby up across the snowy sidewalk and into the building. Inside, a case manager, a Barbara Harris introduced herself then guided Sherry back to her office where they sat down on either side of the desk from one another.

“Hello, dear,” Mrs. Harris said. “The counselor, who I believe spoke with you on the phone, told me what you told her. How are you?”

Sherry gently rocked Gabriel, who had fallen asleep toward the end of the twenty minute car ride. She looked down at her newborn then back up and across at the woman. “I’m okay,” she said, forcing a smile. “I guess I’m as good as I can be.”

“Good, good,” Mrs. Harris said. She then pulled a pamphlet of information out of a holder toward the front of the desk and slid it across to Sherry. She explained the process once again, just in case Sherry didn’t fully understand. Her heart went out to the young woman, as the severity of her situation truly was written all over here face. As Mrs. Harris finished explaining, she rubbed Sherry’s shoulder then handed her tissue. “Here you go… I know how you must be feeling.”

“Yeah, thank you,” Sherry said, grabbing some tissues and wiping her eyes. She looked down at Gabriel, nearly not wanting to look into his face because with every passing moment she sat in this adoption agency, the guilt that started when she began seriously thinking about giving him up for adoption became stronger and more unbearable for her tender heart. “Okay, so I wanna know a couple of things. I know people say stuff is confidential, but then you hear these stories about children who were adopted growing up and going off to find their real parents and all that. What is that about? I don’t want to be found, Misses Harris. I just don’t.”

Sherry listened as Mrs. Harris explained the confidentiality part of the adoption process. She did admit that certain legal actions could indeed press them to open the file, but that they were rare and that mothers were not required by law to answer any requests. Furthermore, what often was the case was that even if a child did find out the name of his birth more, the trail tended to run cold because of relocation, a woman getting married, and so on. However, she did warn that with the rise of social media in recent decades, people were finding people in ways never thought possible when these rules and laws were written. “I can’t guarantee that you’ll never be found, because I just don’t know if such is possible, but I can tell you that it’s very unlikely they’ll find you through the agency. How a lot of adopted children find their parents wind up finding their parents is through locals where they were born, especially if the mother was, I guess you could say social or well-known.” She forced a smile, never changing her compassionate, consoling eyes.

Sherry nodded, taking the information for its value. She looked down at Gabriel again before lifting her head back up and explaining how she’d basically become reclusive once she started to show. Truthfully, her reclusive nature was a bit induced by the fact that The Blue Ivy fired her. “Yeah, my family doesn’t know. I’m estranged from them.”

“Well, I do want to say that it’s a good thing that you decided to do this before you got too attached to the child,” Mrs. Harris said. “I know that seems like a cruel thing to say, but I’ve been working in this business for nearly twenty years at this point. The longer the mother waits, the more attached and heartbreaking I guess you could say it is to give a child up for adoption. I believe you said this child is four or five days old? I know this is hard to believe, but this will be the easier way...before you get into having people see you with him...and taking pictures..and clothes shopping...and daycare.”

Sherry nodded. What the woman was saying made sense. She sniffled a bit because these were things she wanted to experience one day, but that day just wasn’t now or any time in the foreseeable future. Sherry went on to ask a few more questions then Mrs. Harris started pulling out paperwork – paperwork that sent a jolt of realty through Sherry’s soul.

“Now, I have to ask this, so please forgive me,” Mrs. Harris said. “What is the situation with the father?”

“The father?” Sherry said. The words were so faint Mrs. Harris could barely hear them.

Gabriel’s father was another factor Sherry had been grappling with leading up to that snowy night Chrissy rushed her to the hospital. The truth of the matter was that she didn’t have an answer. The last guy she’d been with was that guy who was in town on business from Chicago, but there were a few guys before who could’ve easily been the father as well. Sherry wasn’t proud of her choices in men she slept around with, but she learned as she got older that some choices she would simply have to live with and move on.

“He’s not in the picture,” Sherry said, avoiding eye contact with the woman who appeared old enough to be her mother.

“It’s okay, honey,” Mrs. Harris said. “I just have to ask. Have you even tried to contact him? Would he be willing to take full custody of the child and you hand over your parenting rights?”

Sherry took a deep breath and sighed, realizing it was time to face the music and openly talk about one of the most sensitive aspects of her life. “Well, I don’t exactly know who he was. It could be a few men, honestly. If I had to get in touch with any of them, there would be one I could probably work my way to finding out how to get in touch with him. The others,” she shrugged, “not so much.”
“Okay, what about that one?” Mrs. Harris asked, jotting things down. “Have you contacted him? Sorry, but I do have to ask.”

Sherry’s mind flashed back to the spring night where she met the guy at the bar then hooked up with him at his hotel room out on the edge of the city. He was good-looking, appeared to make a good living for himself, and even was respectful of her on a night where she was being a little looser than usual. Vividly, she remembered the way his silver wedding ban glistened in the motel room light before the guy turned them out and climbed into the bed with her. When Sherry snapped out of her flashback, she admittedly honestly, “He’s married.”

Mrs. Harris nodded then finished filling out her part of the paper work. The better part of the next hour was filling out document after document, answering revealing question after revealing question. Sherry became somewhat numb to it all, rocking Gabriel gently and hoping he didn’t burst into a loud cry. She didn’t fear his crying for the sake of the silence; rather, Sherry wanted to keep her beautiful baby boy from crying because his tears would only remind her of this horrible corner she felt forced into.

“Okay, honey,” Mrs. Harris said. “If you’re ready, the child can be handed over to us. We understand if all of this is more overwhelming than you imagined when you came in. And that’s okay. We have plenty of mothers who start the process first then spend a few more days with the child to be sure then hand them over. If you would like to do that, that’s fine as well.”

Sherry forced a smile, looking down into Gabriel’s tiny face once again. Just a few minutes ago, Mrs. Harris had explained the likelihood of Gabriel being adopted by a good family. The agency used a stringent adoption process to be sure a child is placed with the best family. Sherry took comfort in this, knowing that if the child ever were to somehow find her down the road in life, she would feel much better if he were in the hands of people who could give him a better life that she ever could. Reality had set in, and she was feeling more confident about it, especially since, like Mrs. Harris said back in her office, that it would be much easier to give the child up for adoption sooner rather than later. Sherry pushed through her hesitation and gently handed her newborn baby over to the case manager. As Mrs. Harris held him in her arms, Sherry leaned over and kissed him on his forehead one last time while she also pushed her index finger into his tiny, slightly closed hand. She wept; tears rolling uncontrollably down her cheeks. “Bye, Gabriel.”

Watching Mrs. Harris walk off and toward the nursery with Gabriel was a sight Sherry would never forget. There she stood, between a cluster of desks and the agency’s front entrance, while the older woman disappeared into the back of the building, turning a corner. Her head dropped as she burst into tears. “I’m so sorry I have to do this,” she sobbed softly. “I’m so sorry, Gabriel.”

Unexplainable emotions filled Sherry’s heart and soul that afternoon, on into the evening. She cried in ways she’d never cried before – more than when her favorite grandmother died when she was just ten years-old, more than the night she had that last defining fall-out with her judgmental family, forever cementing her role in the family as the black sheep. The minutes turned into hours as the sun rose to the middle of the sky then back down, falling behind the trees. When Chrissy walked through the door that evening after a long day at work, the first thing on her mind had been what she and Sherry talked about just last night. Sherry lifted her head and looked into her best friend’s eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Chrissy then rushed across the room, sat down on the couch next to her, and hugged her tightly.

“It’s going to be alright, Sherry,” Chrissy said. “I’m here for you. I always will be.”

Chapter 5

“Wow, it’s great to hear about the success you’re having with your endeavors here in Fort Wayne, Darren,” Charles said. The insurance agent patted his new-made friend on the back. “I mean, really, that’s amazing.”

Darren smiled and confidently held his drink up in the air, gesturing for a toast with Charles and Anthony. The insurance agent and accountant clacked the rims of their glasses against Darren’s then held them up to their lips and sipped. The renovations Darren had been showing his brother John during his visit were completed and far ahead of schedule. His efforts to get units filled were going so well there was no doubt in his mind the four-building complex would be filled within the next couple of months. To celebrate, he invited the first couple of friends he made in Fort Wayne out for drinks.

Darren, Charles, and Anthony chatted for the next hour or so as they drunk their beers. Darren talked about some of the landscaping he wanted to do with the complex, as well as some of the other investment properties he and his family purchased around the city. Charles griped about his wife, almost in such a way that his two comrades could tell he was in no rush to get home to her. Anthony talked about a new firm coming to Ft. Wayne and how his ultimate goal was to network so he could get them to get a CPA contract with them. Darren nodded, listening to it all and feeling more “at home” than he did before. Finally, he’d gotten around to building a social life of sorts.

Around 8 o’clock, Darren paid the bill then the three men stood up and headed for the door. Outside, they chatted as they walked down the snowy sidewalk. The wind picked up, putting a little pep in their step. At the corner, Charles and Anthony thanked Darren for the celebratory invitation then each went their separate ways, disappearing into the cluster of buildings and the darkening night. Darren quickly paced back to his car, which was parked a couple of blocks over. Still in good spirits, he hopped behind the wheel and rubbed his hands together in anticipation for tonight. For nearly a year, he’d be so focused on building his new life that he cut back on having fun like he used to back in Chicago. Tonight, however, he was going to break his good boy stride.

***

For the last few weeks, Darren struck up conversation at bars with different guys to see where was a good place to go and see the ladies. The names of a handful of clubs came his way, but one name came up repeatedly, enticing him to find out where it was and give it a try: The Crown. Located in a somewhat industrial area, on the southwest side of the city, the strip club was somewhat secluded. Darren finally pulled into the parking lot after driving down a road that was mostly bordered by warehouses then passing through some trees and urban blight. The parking lot swelled with cars; music seeped out of the entrance. Darren relaxed in his car for a few minutes more and finally went on inside at 11 o’clock.

Darren contained his excitement at the entrance. The bouncer – a big, brawny guy who looked like he could knock a guy out with one punch – patted him down then allowed him to proceed. Darren was a bit impressed. The Crown wasn’t anything close to the sort of sophistication he would normally see in Chicago; the place certainly wasn’t a dump, though. The carpet was clean, the bar was stained glass with more than enough drinks to choose from, and the women were clearly in their prime and eager for a man’s attention. Darren licked his lips shortly after getting himself some gin. A hot blonde walked by. She purposely made eye contact with him and pulling his attention with her as she moved seductively toward the other side of the room.

Darren stood up at the bar, enjoying his drink and shaking off the first dancer he saw. He decided he would chill out a bit and see how the place’s vibes felt. Every so often, he couldn’t help but to snicker at some of the guys. Judging by their mannerisms and how hungry they were for the dancers’ attention, they weren’t used to having such sexually appealing women at their fingertips. Nonetheless, Darren played it cool. Sure, a few dancers looked at him. He was obviously better groomed and probably less “worked” than some of the 9-to-5 guys walking around, but he acted as if he didn’t notice them. This was a tactic he used frequently during his college years. Ignore the most attractive women then they will be begging for your attention.

An hour passed and a girl they called Hot Rocks, whose name was supposedly Roxy, finished up dancing on the pole at the front of the club. A sea of men, most with drinks in their hands, watched her climb off the stage make her way through the crowd. There had already been a few other dancers who danced since Darren got there, but there was something about her he found particularly attractive. He had always considered himself a leg man, and Roxy certainly had legs he’d love to hold up while on the bed and have his way. Her long black hair was a little thicker than he was used to; her makeup was done well and not caked on like some of the other dancers.

As the next dancer walked out onto the stage in red pumps, the sea of men turned back toward the stage. Darren moseyed around the club, ordering drink after drink and enjoying the scantly dressed waitresses serving the tables in the far corner. Out of nowhere, Roxy came walking between two big guys who were standing about twenty feet away from Darren. He sipped his drink, trying to pretend as if he didn’t see her. His efforts were useless, however. At first, he’d only seen her from afar – from out in the crowd with the other man. Now, though, she was so close that he really got a good look at her. She was hot, she was feisty, and she had eyes for Darren in a way she didn’t have for other men in the club. Darren decided to go ahead and play along with this particular dancer. After all, this was his night to celebrate.

“Hey,” Roxy said, looking Darren up and down.

Darren smiled then nodded. “Hey there,” he said. He got a good look at Roxy’s behind and knew he wanted a dance from this woman. Not wanting to waste any time, he pushed his hand into his pocket and pulled out money – $1,000. He looked into Roxy’s eyes and, without saying anything, she grabbed his hand. Darren chuckled, looking at nearby guys whose eyes clearly congratulated him on practically being picked out of the crowd by the club’s hottest dancer.

Going with the flow, Darren found himself being pulled over to a booth just on the other side of the bar. “Sit right here,” Roxy said. She pressed Darren’s chest until he sat back with his legs open and spread apart. Roxy liked how he looked on anxiously; she flung her hair back and forth across her upper back a she bent over with her behind in his face.

“Shit,” Darren said. His eyes were glued to Roxy’s wide hips. She then moved her hips, making her ass jiggle The dancer then leaned back, slapped her ass hard, and sat on Darren’s lap. “Uh oh,” Darren said, sounding like a college frat boy. He smiled ear to ear.

Guys standing close by turned away from the stage and focused on the action going on in the booth. They hooped and hollered, egging Roxy on as she gave Darren a lap dance. Darren made sure to do his part. He pulled money out of his pocket and gently placed a hundred-dollar bill underneath her garter. With his eyes bulging like a kid coming downstairs on Christmas to find the living room so filled with presents he could barely make it across the room, he slapped Roxy’s ass. Before he could lean back again and enjoy the view, Roxy had suddenly lifted her hips up. Her ass slammed again Darren’s face. Onlookers roared with excitement.

Darren continued stuffing money into various parts of Roxy’s outfit, slapping her ass and telling her how sexy she was as he gulped down his drink. Ten minutes or so into the private dance, a small cluster of guys standing over to the right suddenly moved out of the way. Darren had just finished his drink, running his hand through his sweaty hair, when a guy who looked to be 6’5 and every bit of 300 pounds shoved through onlookers. Tattoos crawled up his arms; his face was that of a man who clearly had a rough upbringing. Nobody would be surprised if the guy had been to prison and done time.

“Roxy, what the fuck are you doing?” the guy yelled.

Suddenly, Darren snapped out of his intoxicating daze. Roxy quickly stood up and stepped away. Darren picked up on what was going on – on how Roxy jumped away like someone being caught red handed. “Teddy, what are you doin’ here?”

“What am I doin’ here?” Teddy asked.

“Oh shit,” Darren said, rising to his feet. He stood there, not sure what to do. Even if he wanted to head for the door, this big, angry guy stood between him and it. “What the fuck?”

“Roxy, so this is where you been workin’?” Teddy asked, balling his fists. “I’ve been hearing about it and shit, but I didn’t wanna think it’s true. You really been up in here dancing half naked and stuff for other guys?”

The other men standing around who had been watching Darren’s private lap dance turned away like nothing was happening. They looked up at the stage, slowly mingling away from the scene while Roxy stood in front of the Teddy guy. She put her hands on his chest in a pleading kind of way. Darren got a strong vibe this Teddy guy was Roxy’s boyfriend, or maybe even husband. The way she stood in front of him was indicative of a woman who knew her significant other was the jealous type and was trying to stop him from losing his temper.

“Please, not here, Teddy,” Roxy said. “Seriously, this isn’t the place. You know you can’t get locked up again. You just got that job over at Mullen's, making good money...making fifteen dollars an hour. Don’t, Teddy. Please, not here. I was just doin’ this to help out around the house with the bills.”

“Are you fuckin’ serious?” Teddy asked. “Roxy, you really gonna come up with some bullshit to justify me catching you up in here like this? Baby, you probably got half the town talking about this or somethin’...all behind my back. I don’t fuckin’ believe this.”

Darren’s noticed his palms moisten. The relaxing effects of the alcohol – the buzz – suddenly didn’t feel so good. Roxie begged this Teddy guy to calm down and not cause any kind of situation in the club. Her efforts went unnoticed, however. When Teddy finally looked over at the guy (Darren) who Roxy had been giving a lap dance, he looked him up and down then scuffed.

“These are the kinds of guys you up in here giving a lap dance to?” Teddy asked, approaching Darren. “These ole pretty boy types, huh?”

Darren held his hands up, signaling he didn’t want any confrontation. Roxy pulled Teddy’s big, bulky arms, trying to pull him back. Darren backed away a bit, toward the back of the club. Teddy turned as if his goal was to grab the guy. Roxy yelled for security then the two bouncers who had been at the club’s entrance pushed guys aside in the club to hurry up and get to Teddy. Onlookers pulled their phones out and started recording, anticipating a fight would break out or possibly a one-against-two brawl between the Teddy guy and the bouncers.

“Come on, get outta here!” once bouncer said, pulling Teddy by his arm. “C’mon, dude. Let it go.”

Teddy resisted at first, but Roxy continued bringing up how he could lose his job if he went to jail again. Darren stood back, somewhat in the shadows, while Teddy was pulled out of the club. He looked around, his buzz officially ruined, and looked at the situation for what it was. Why am I here? Why am I still doing this?

Darren set his drink down, ignoring the curious eyes of the men standing around. He made his way across the club as everyone got back to enjoying themselves. For ten minutes or so, enough time for the Teddy guy to hopefully get into his car and pull out of the parking lot, Darren stood in an obscure part of the club and watched other men enjoy the dancers by throwing dollars at them as if money grew on trees. Once the anxiety calmed down, Darren made his way for the parking lot. He watched his back as he crossed the parking lot until finally climbing into his MKZ and pulling back out onto the road.

“Time to leave that behind,” Darren said to himself, reflecting on how badly that situation could have turned out. Sure, he’d been in some sketchy bars and clubs in Chicago, especially in his early twenties. If he had been 21 again, he probably would’ve been in that club with some of his friends and they would’ve taken the guy on. Now, though, as turning forty was virtually within eyesight, he looked at things a little more subjectively. And it didn’t help that he was in some new place, far away from home and his family and network of friends. He breathed easy as he rode into downtown, thankful that things didn’t get worse.

As Darren lay in his bed that night, still shaken up more than he would want to admit, he thought about life and how at various points, things signaled that it was time for a change. The apartment complex was up and running. The property management company kept him up-to-date through email about perspective tenants. The other investment properties were cash cows in themselves. His social life was finally starting to flourish, thanks to a little effort on his part. Still, there was a missing void in his life. As the saying goes, it is indeed lonely at the top; however, even with the few friends Darren did keep in touch with from back in Chicago, their having families is what kept a sort of un-discussed divide between them that didn’t exist once upon a time.

***

There was something about waking up to the sound of birds chirping rather than the hum of traffic and sirens that gave Darren the peace of mind he could never have in Chicago, even in many of the suburbs. When he woke up in the morning, he lay in the bed for twenty minutes before finally sliding out. He shrugged off what happened at the strip club last night and chalked it up to being a lesson learned that at this point in his life, he just didn’t need to be in certain kinds of places. As usual, Darren grabbed his robe, slid it on, and approached the window to open the blinds.

There, he stood for a few minutes surveying the narrow tree-lined avenue of refurbished and well-maintained Victorian homes. Just as he’d been turning away so he could head downstairs and get started with his day, he noticed a guy walking a kid down the street to a corner where a small group of other kids stood, backpacks in hand and waiting on the school bus. A chuckle slipped out of his lips, for some reason. He watched as the guy stood with the kids at the corner, scrolling through his phone anxiously.

For whatever reason, Darren’s mind went back to a bachelor’s party he’d gone to in Los Angeles – a friend of the family’s son. He had joked to the groom that he would be “popping out” babies soon. The groom denied it, but within two years, his mother had forwarded to him and his brother pictures of the wife pregnant with the groom’s hand on her stomach. Darren remembered how he shook his head, swearing it wouldn’t be him. Now, though, as life was settling in and he was starting to feel left out, his feelings were changing. The void in his life was becoming harder and harder to ignore.

Darren made his coffee then set out on the terrace. He grinned a bit every time he sat out back, thinking about how expensive all of this would be back in Chicago. Beyond that, he also imagined for a moment that most people around here who had this much of a backyard probably had children running around. His brother John’s recounts of a single man adopting children crept back into his mind. Marriage still seemed too much of a risky endeavor for a man of his means. Darren set his coffee down then stood up. “Lemme look into this.”

A few minutes later, the 32-year-old had gone to get his laptop and was now sitting back out on the terrace. He entered various keywords and phrases into Google to see what kinds of results came up related to single men adopting children. A few websites spoke positively of it, then Darren noticed they were usually adoption agency or foster home kinds of places selling a product or service. Then, there were of course news stories. Darren skimmed over a few, coming across the one his brother John spoke of at the bar.

Forum discussions were interesting, to say the least. There seemed to be this arguing back and forth as to whether or not a single man should be allowed to adopt a child. Of course, other male commentators applauded the idea, further reinforcing Darren’s current train of thought because they emphasized the desire to raise children without the control and upper advantage given to women in society. As to be expected, female commentators weren’t so supportive of the idea. Rather, the female commentators talked about how a man who wants children should find a wife, with much of their wording insinuating that a man isn’t fit to raise children on his own. Darren chuckled at one woman’s response to a male commentator who asked if a woman should be allowed to adopt a child without a husband or male partner. Of course, the woman poster did not see a problem with such a scenario.

Darren perused the internet for a while, soaking in as much information as possible. Now having seen kind of what the world thinks of his desire to adopt a child, he contemplated for a while. His mind analyzed the reality he would face when adopting a child and integrating it into his life. Would I want a boy? A girl? What if there are some twins that need to be adopted?

Darren leaned back in his chair and looked out at the cityscape as he pondered the answers to those questions as well as many others. Thirty minutes passed; the sun had risen up into the sky and the city buzzed a bit more as traffic on a nearby busy streets hummed with a steady flow into downtown. Darren eventually jumped up and went back into the house. He leaned over the kitchen island just as 9 o’clock rolled around.

“Fuck it,” he said. “I can try and the worst that can happen is no.”

Darren felt like he could probably be a little more confident than the average guy. After all, he did come from a family of means and influence – two things that opened doors for him in more ways that many could imagine. He pulled up his lawyer Gilbert Hicks’ number, took a couple of moments to contemplate a couple things, then pressed DIAL and pressed the phone up to the side of his face.

“Morning, this is Gilbert Hicks,” the attorney answered.

The fact that Hicks wasn’t an adoption attorney was at the front of Darren’s mind, but he knew he would at least be a place to start locally. “Good Morning, Mister Hicks. This is Darren McWaters. How are you?”

“Oh, I’m well, Mister McWaters,” Hicks replied. “How are you?”

Darren told the lawyer he was fine then listened as Hicks gave a spill about having just gotten into the office and to his desk. “That’s good to hear. Well, the reason for my calling is I’ve done some thinking and I want to adopt a child.”
“Oh, is that so?” Hicks asked.

Darren picked up on the surprise in the attorney’s voice. The guy obviously wasn’t used to hearing something like that from a man. “Yes. And I’m calling you because even though you don’t practice family law, I figured you would probably know where to start around here, since I’m not from here as you know. I wanted to know… What do you think would be the chances of me, a single man, working with agencies around here to adopt a child?”

“Well, you’re right, Mister McWaters,” Hicks said. “I don’t practice this kind of law, but I do know some lawyers who could help you with something like that. As for your question, I have to be honest with you. Is it illegal for a single man do adopt a child? No, it’s not illegal. As for whether or not you’ll be able to do it, I suppose you would. But I must warn you that you may have an uphill battle ahead of you. Excuse me for saying this, but the major thing you do have working in your favor is the fact that you are a man of means. This will change things a bit for you compared to a guy who just works a nine-to-five.”

Darren’s glanced around the kitchen as he processed what his lawyer was saying to him. He then asked for more information on his uphill battle Hicks spoke of.

“Well...” Hicks said, clearly gathering his thoughts. “As you can probably already imagine, not too many men actively seek out to adopt a child on their own. In fact, I think the numbers would probably be very small. Also, the cold reality is that there is a stigma to a man that wants to adopt a child on his own… you know, that he may be adopting the child for sexual purposes, trafficking, and stuff like that. I know that’s a hard pill to swallow, but there are segments of society who certainly do think that and may even look at you suspiciously because you’re a single man.” Hicks cleared his throat. “Then, there’s the woman thing.”

“The woman thing?” Darren asked. He chuckled, recalling some of the female responses on the forum.

“Yes,” Hicks said then chuckling himself. “The song used to go it’s a man world, but now that’s changing, as I’m sure you know. I would imagine many adoption agencies would obviously prefer a man to have a wife. But the other struggle I imagine you would come up against is not only have to deal with this stigma and suspicion, but also the fact that women virtually control like ninety-nine percent of the adoption process...which means all along the way, you’ll probably be encountering a woman who thinks you shouldn’t be trying to adopt a child as a single man. The rules just aren’t the same as it is for a single woman. A single man trying to adopt is looked at with suspicion, on many levels. A single woman trying to adopt will probably be treated sympathetically and as if she’d not had good luck with finding a husband, so she’s taking this route to start a family for herself.”

Darren started pacing around the kitchen as he processed it all. Just as he’d been about to speak, he heard beeping in his phone signaling a call was coming through. He pulled the phone away from his face and saw it was his mother on the other line. A groan slipped out of his lips and he shook his head.

“Okay, I understand what you’re saying,” Darren said to Hicks. “But I think I really wanna go ahead and take the chance and start the process. Who can you get me in touch with around here, Mister Hicks?”

Chapter 6: Three Months Later

Darren woke up on a crisp September morning with heavy eyes and a crook in his neck. He stretched then grabbed his head and cracked his neck as he turned over to face the window. The sun was slowly rising above the houses across the street. Darren wondered what time it was, but didn’t feel like getting up to find his phone. He spread his arm out across the bed in search of it before realizing that he had heard it thump against the floor in the night. Instead, Darren lay there in thought.

Last night had been a true test of fatherhood for the single man. Gabriel, the beautiful two year-old he officially adopted a little less than a month ago, woke up in the night waling at the top of his lungs. A storm had passed over the area last night. Huge bolts of lightening reached out of the sky with so much fury. Thunder rumbled in the clouds for several hours straight. Shortly after a loud thunder shook the windows and woke Darren up out of his sleep, he heard the baby crying from the crib, which was in the adjacent bedroom – a bedroom which had a connecting door that Gabriel left ajar through the night. Quickly, instincts kick-started in ways he never would’ve imagined when he jumped out of bed and ran into the room where he stood at the side of the crib. He comforted Gabriel, talking to him like any father wanting to calm his frightened son. The 6-months-old eventually stopped yelling and Darren watched him as his tiny eyes closed and he fell back to sleep in his father’s arms.

Darren smirked as he thought about last night. It was one thing to think about adopting a child; it was totally different to have the child at home and in his possession. He finally turned away from the window and looked toward the ajar door. Gabriel was sound asleep...and the new father wanted it to stay that way. He turned back toward the window, hearing the screeching school bus brakes like he did every morning as they made their way down the street, stopping every couple of blocks to pick up a group of kids.

After fading in and out of sleep for the next twenty minutes, Darren realized it was finally time to get started with his day. Business was going well, his social life was much better than it had been when he first got to Ft. Wayne, and now he was the single father of a beautiful baby boy. Time was of the essence, so he sprung out of bed and went to use the bathroom. When he finished up, he washed his hands, then rushed excitedly into the Gabriel’s room. There, he stood at the side of the crib. Darren smiled, analyzing the child for no particular reason.

Darren stood at the crib’s side for a while as he reminisced vividly on the adoption process. Regretfully, he found his family’s means and influence in the real estate world didn’t exactly translate into making the adoption process for a single man any easier. Sure, his financial situation was certainly favorable; however, just as Gilbert Hicks warned on the phone that morning Darren finally decided to do something about filling the void in his life, the stigma of a single man wanting to adopt a child was certainly very real.

Every bit of paperwork Darren had to fill out was then met with a supervisor looking over it in a scrutinizing way, sometimes with the 34-year-old sitting in an office and looking out at the confused eyes and faces of a woman staff member who was obviously skeptical of a single man wanting to adopt a child. Numerous times, he’d been asked why he hadn’t gotten married or if he would wait until he found a wife. And numerous times, Darren had to explain, mostly to a woman, his hesitance toward getting married because of the risk. He would then refer to his financial statements, which highlighted his many business endeavors that getting married would certainly put at risk. Darren pushed through, though, making sure he had the best adoption attorney in the area that money could buy.

Gabriel started to move a bit, his arms reaching out like a tiny yawn. Darren pushed his reminiscing of the adoption process aside and realized every moment of it was worth the struggle. For the last three weeks, his life had been filled with a certain kind of excitement and joy any business endeavor in Ft. Wayne or back home in Chicago would never match. As Gabriel’s tiny blue eyes opened and he looked around anxiously, Darren reached into the crib and lifted the baby up and out. He held him in his arms, talking to him like a true gift from God.

Darren carried Gabriel and walked around the upper level of his house. First, he went down into one of the spare bedrooms and stood at a window that looked down into the backyard. Gabriel seemed to like nature because anytime the new father would take the baby up to the window, he looked out curiously at the trees and the yard. Squirrels jumping from branch to branch particularly excited the child.

Darren then carried Gabriel, rocking him slightly as he asked him questions for which he never expected to get an answer. Next stop was the office, where Darren held Gabriel in one hand while he rummaged through some papers on his desk with the other. There were a lot of things he needed to get done today, one of which was placing an ad for a nanny. He was fortunate enough to be in a part of the real estate sector where contracting outside help, like that of a property management firm, greatly reduced the amount of hands-on work he had to do. For the most part, he’d spent the last few weeks at home, growing his mini-empire through email, phone calls, as well as having meetings in the sitting room downstairs. He did have Gabriel registered with a daycare where he often spend partial days so Darren could get things done.

Gabriel had been introduced into a privileged life that he was yet to understand. Two days after bringing him home and setting him down in a crib, Darren contacted his family’s financial adviser as well as his local accountant to set up a trust fund. Darren arrange for money to automatically withdraw from his account monthly and into an investment fund that would grow with time from the interest alone. Prior to that, Darren contracted an interior decorator to design Gabriel’s room so the baby’s eyes would open every morning to the best money could buy.

Darren headed downstairs and gently put Gabriel into the high-chair as he went rummaging through the cabinet for baby food then prepared a bottle of milk. Even though he’d been doing the daddy routine for nearly three weeks at this point, every morning felt like the first time. And he loved it.

“Yeah, I got that milk coming for you, buddy,” Darren said, looking back at his son as he put the bottle in the microwave. “I got it coming, so just hold on.”

Just as the microwave started warming the bottle, Darren heard his phone ring from the dining room. He had put it on the charger when he first came downstairs with Gabriel. Quickly, he darted out into the dining room and picked the phone up. “Oh shit,” he said, seeing it was his mother calling. Having ignored her last two phone calls, Darren figured he should go ahead and answer this one. The last thing he needed was his mother showing up because she thought – rather, wanted to believe so she could be nosy and controlling – something might be wrong.

“Hello?” Darren answered, heading back into the kitchen. He tried to sound as upbeat as possible about his mother calling.

“Hello, son,” Joan said. “How are you this morning?”

“I’m good, Mom,” Darren said. “Just getting up and feeding little Gabriel. Did you get the picture I sent you last night?”

“Yeah, I got it,” Joan said. “I got the picture. Thank you so much. Look, Darren, I’ve been wanting to talk to you, but you haven’t been answering my calls.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry, Mom,” Darren said, shaking his head as he held the bottle up to Gabriel’s lips. “I’ve just been so busy with Gabriel. Plus, you remember that I was telling you I would be placing an ad or contacting an agency so I can get a nanny to come in and help, maybe even live here for a while.”

Joan groaned – a groan her soon knew oh so well. “Yeah, I remember, son. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Look, I know you wanted a child and I know you had your reservations about marriage. As I’ve gotten older, and the media has changed as well, my eyes have been opening to why more and more men are weary of marriage, at least compared to when I was younger. I get it, I get it. But, Darren, you’re a handsome young man with a lot to offer. And you’re in a different kind of place where I imagine the women must be...must be a bit more cooperative, let’s say. Darren, honey, I really want you to find a woman you can love and who can support you and be a good wife and mother to your child.”

Darren sighed, thinking about how he really wasn’t trying to hear this speech this early in the morning. He simply wanted to enjoy his morning with his new son until the baby went back to sleep and Darren himself was knee-deep in phone calls and emails. On top of that, his housekeeper was due to show up around 10 o’clock and Darren wanted to have showered and put Gabriel back in his bedroom by then. “I know, Mom. I know. You told me this stuff last time we talked...and the time before that when I was going through the process and everything. But I just don’t think I wanna risk everything getting married.”

“Okay, son,” Joan said. “I hear you, I hear you. I’m just concerned, is all. I’m so proud of what you’re doing over there...your father and I both, really...that I just don’t want you stressing yourself out. I know marriage isn’t for everyone, but a man like you would probably be even more successful, you know, if he had a wife by his side to share some of the responsibilities. Trust me, son. Trust what your mother is saying. I raised two kids already...and I’m glad I had a husband who was there to help me...at least some of the times. I’m just worried, Darren, that you might be trying to take on more than you can handle.”

Darren paused, looking out the window in thought. He could already see some of the issues being a businessman and a single father that would inevitably bring about if he didn’t find a nanny soon. However, he stood firm in his position on marriage: the risk was just too great and he would rather be a single father than to be taken for a ride through the system by a woman.

“Yeah, Mom,” Darren said. “I hear you, I hear you.”

“Okay, Son,” Joan said. “I love you and know know I just worry about you and what you’re going to do is all.”

Darren chatted with his mother for a while as he fed Gabriel, filling her in on what was going on with the investment properties. Shortly before getting off of the phone, Joan said, “Alright, well, you know I've got this big case going on right now.” She groaned. “I’m sick of these people, but they have a lot of money, so I have to do it. But, just so you know, once I finish up with this fiasco, I will be coming over to Fort Wayne for a little visit.”

Darren rolled his eyes and shook his head. Like any other son, he loved his mother dearly. But he was perfectly fine with her staying back in Chicago. There seemed to be a strange sort of peace in Ft. Wayne that came with his being there all by himself. “Okay, Mom,” he said. “Well, don’t rush. Maybe you need to take a little vacation somewhere after the case.”

Joan chuckled. “Sounds like someone doesn’t want me to come visit. I’ll have to keep that in mind.”

“Mom, I didn’t say that,” Darren said. “You know I would love for you to come and visit and, you know, help me learn the ropes of taking care of Gabriel and all that.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that, Darren,” Joan said. “I’ll keep that in mind. Maybe I’ll have to come for longer than I planned...like for two or maybe even three weeks. Then again, if I work my schedule right, and finagle some of my other clients, I might be able to do things in such a way to where I could come there and stay for an entire month.”
Violins screeched in Darren’s mind like in a horror movie. “Oh, okay, Mom. Well, um, we’ll definitely have to talk about it. I gotta get going now. Rosa is about to show up and I still need to get some things done, but don’t rush to get here. Everything will still be going fine if you don’t come for a month or six months, or heck, even a year or two. I can hold down the fort.” He chuckled at the unintended pun.

Joan laughed. “All right, son. Hmm, hmm. Talk to you later.”

Darren looked at the phone as his mother laughed in a villainous way as she hung up. Quickly, he tossed his phone onto the counter and finished feeding Gabriel. “Grandma might be coming soon, little buddy.” He groaned. “And she’ll probably be flying in on her broomstick.”

Gabriel laughed a little, causing Darren to laugh himself at the irony. “Yeah, laugh now. Wait until you get older, little guy. It won’t be funny anymore.”

Quickly, Darren finished up with Gabriel then carried him back upstairs. He set him into the crib and he started to cry. Darren tried tending to him, but time was ticking. Ignoring the baby’s screams, Darren rushed through his shower then came back out into the hallway, in nothing but a towel. Just as he lifted Gabriel out of the crib, the doorbell rang through the house.

“Dammit,” he grimaced then realizing as Gabriel got older, he would probably have to watch his words so his son wouldn’t pick up anything and carry it to daycare.

Darren yelled out for Rosa to hold on a moment as he set Gabriel back into his crib. His crying was dying down now, so Darren’s plan was to just ignore him and hope that he’d fall to sleep when the attention he craved just wasn’t coming. Darren then rushed to his bedroom closet, threw on some black dress pants and a blue collared shirt, and rushed downstairs.

“Hey, Rosa, come on in,” Darren said. He stood to the side, allowing the Guatemalan woman to step into the foyer. He spent a few moments explaining what her duties would be for the day then rushed off, telling her to make sure to let him know if she needed anything.

Darren checked the time, knowing that he had a telecom conference with a firm in Buenos Aires his family partnered with for business. He darted up the stairs to check on Gabriel. As he approached his door, he noticed the silence. The new father peeked inside and smiled, seeing his beautiful baby boy fast asleep in his crib. Darren made a mental note to check his diaper when he finished up the call.

Down in his dining room, Darren pulled the pocket door shut most of the way, leaving it open just enough to hear if Gabriel started crying. For the next twenty minutes or so, he discussed foreign investment with Cordoba, Inc. out of Buenos Aires, laughing and being as cordial as possible. There wasn’t any doubt in his mind his father would be calling later on to see how it went. Easily, his family could’ve made at least a million dollars a year off of working with this firm. One of Darren’s objectives was to go down to Argentina on his next vacation and spend some time in Buenos Aires. He thought it would be cool to have his first “family” vacation there while also meeting with some of the Cordoba’ s team.

As Ricardo finished up going over the investment report, Gabriel screamed at the top of his lungs from his crib. Darren’s face flushed with embarrassment when he noticed the facial expressions of the three other conference call members. One, a woman, smiled endearingly, clearly sympathetic toward a man taking care of his child. Darren excused himself and rushed out of the dining room. As he approached the bottom of the staircase, Gabriel still crying at the top of his lungs, Rosa stepped out of the sitting room. She started dusting the vase next to the front door.

“Rosa?” Darren said, jumping off of the third step.

“Yes, Mister McWaters?” the 50-year-old woman asked, nodding her head submissively.

“I hate to ask you to do this again, Rosa,” Darren said, glancing up the steps. “But you’re so good with babies. Do you think you could go up there and calm Gabriel down like you did last time? I’ll pay your for a couple extra hours or work today. It’s just that I’m on this conference call with this firm in Buenos Aires. I’m almost done. Do you think you could just go up there and calm him down for like, maybe ten minutes?” Darren hated to ask her again, as he did have a daycare where Gabriel would be going for the afternoon, but his crying was so loud there is no way the other members of the conference call would be able to take him seriously with it going on in the background.

Before Rosa could answer, Darren patted her on the shoulder then rushed off toward the dining room. The frustrated Guatemalan woman looked at the back of the businessman then slammed her duster onto the small end table. The older woman then trudged up the steps and into baby Gabriel’s room. She sighed, thinking that her days of taking care of children – her three daughters were approaching thirty years-old – had long gone.

When Darren sat back down at his dining room table, he excused himself once again then insisted that the conversation continue on. He listened to the firm’s objectives when it came to real estate and investing in the Chicago area. Darren took detailed notes, knowing that his father would want a scanned copy and would probably still come up with tons of questions. Nonetheless, to Darren’s relief, Gabriel calmed down. Thank God for Rosa, he thought.

The conference call with Cordoba finished up within fifteen minutes. Darren tended to some emails from the property management company, made a few calls to contractors, then stepped out into the calm hallway. He looked around downstairs, expecting Rosa to have come back downstairs at this point and have gotten back to her duties. The trash in the kitchen still hadn’t been taken out; there were some dishes in the sink from last night that had yet to have been washed. Posting an ad for a nanny crossed Darren’s mind as the next thing he would need when his afternoon calmed down.

“Rosa?” Darren yelled out. He headed upstairs and found the woman standing in the window of the Gabriel’s bedroom. She rocked him gently as she peered out at the street.

“Oh,” Rosa said, a bit startled. She forced a smile, even though she was frustrated and trying to not show it. “I’m sorry, I must have lost track. He’s just about sleep right now, Mister McWaters.”

Darren thanked Rosa graciously for helping to calm Gabriel then took him from her arms. He rocked him gently then noticed the way Rosa looked away, nibbling at the end of the thumb as if something were on her mind. “Rosa?” he asked. “Are you all right?”

“Yes, I fine,” Rosa said, looking away again once her smile wore off. “Well, Mister McWaters….I wanted to ask you what you were going to do about a nanny.”

Darren stopped rocking Gabriel, picking up on the sincerity in Rosa’s voice. The woman had been coming three times a week to clean for a little over two months at this point, so he’d gotten to know her somewhat. “Yes, actually, that’s one thing I’ll be doing today… I guess when I drop Gabriel off at daycare.”

“Okay, well,” Rosa said, “I no nanny, Mister McWaters. I no nanny. I getting older. You know?” She shook her head and waved her arms at Gabriel then whisked passed Darren and into the hallway.

Darren looked down at the floor for a moment then lowered Gabriel back down into his crib. His mother’s words about the struggle of raising a child on his own. As much as he hated to admit it, his mother was right. The first thing he would do when he got done with his day and had picked Gabriel up from daycare was post an ad on the list of local family service websites he already gathered. He needed to find a nanny quickly and get his life into a sort of daily routine so days like today wouldn’t happen anymore.

Chapter 7

Sherry pulled her hair back into a ponytail then put on a black business casual shirt Chrissy helped her pick out at Goodwill. She forced a smile, seeing she’d lost so much weight since giving birth then going into chemo treatments. Today she had a job interview to be a nanny for a single father. Aside from the black dress-shirt, she had on the pants of a white pantsuit and a bit of jewelry. She then did her makeup, thinking about her life and how if she didn’t get this job, she didn’t know what she would do. My motivation is literally running out.

Since giving her baby up for adoption, Sherry felt the struggle of living with her own reflection. In the weeks following the snowy day she walked out of the Hope Adoption Agency office and was taken back home, guilt consumed her in ways she would’ve never imagined. There were some days she couldn’t get out of bed because her emotions paralyzed her so much. Other times, she would see a young mother walking her child down the street and think about how that could’ve been her – times she wondered what kind of woman she would become in the future knowing her desperate situation caused her to make desperate decisions.

Pushing her guilty feelings to the side so she could get herself together mentally, Sherry finished getting ready. With time to kill, she sat down on Chrissy’s couch and thought about her upcoming interview. This was an opportunity she really needed at the moment. In light of this, she spent a bit of time last night researching possible questions that might come up during the job interview. Funny enough, there was more information online about that sort of thing than Sherry would’ve ever imagined. The baby pictures attached to the articles were enough in themselves to recall the moment she handed Gabriel over to Mrs. Harris.

Sherry finished up brainstorming potential questions, put her coat on, and took one last look in the mirror. Holding her head high, shoulders back, then taking a deep breath, she went outside and waited at the curb. Her arranged Uber ride would be showing up any minute. When the red Toyota pulled up, Sherry hopped into the backseat. For much of the ride, she grappled with how she was going to present herself as a nanny kind of person. Was it the job she wanted? No, not necessarily, but it was the job she needed. Eventually, as the driver crossed over St. Mary’s River and rolled into downtown, Sherry cracked the window. The chilly air was just what she needed to let it go and just see what would happen. A chuckled slipped out of her mouth. “Bartender turns nanny. Who would’a guess that?”

***

The red Toyota pulled into the well-preserved, historic neighborhood not too far from downtown. Sherry had driven down the area’s main street numerous times, but she had yet to turn down any side street. To say the least, she was impressed with the house. She wondered if she would ever be able to have one to call her own. Turrets, wrap-around porches, stain glass windows. Some homes looked like mini-castles with well-manicured yards and cast iron fences.

“Here you go!” the Middle Eastern man said.

Sherry paid the driver, hopped out onto the sidewalk, and thanked him. As he sped off, she walked down the sidewalk until the car passed a tall row of bushes. She had arrived as the bushes matched the description given with the address when she’d been emailing this McWaters. The house was easily the second largest on the block. It’s glossed wooden wrap-around porch was stunning in its own right. A turret, which looked large enough to have a bedroom within it, climbed the front corner of the house. As Sherry headed toward the walkway, she could get a glimpse of the back of the house around the side. She saw at least three sets of french doors lined the back wall from where she stood. Sherry again held her head high then trudged up the brick walkway and onto the porch. She pressed the doorbell.

The curtain behind the door window moved then the doorknob twisted. A tall, handsome man dressed in laid-back beige pants and a blue button-up shirt opened the door. He smiled. “Hi, are you...” His words trailed off; his welcoming facial expression transformed into that of shock. A mild case of deja-vous set it. “Oh, Hey?” His lips curled into a smile as he stepped out of the way.

That guy who was visiting from Chicago that night who I met at the bar and we went back…

“Oh...Hi,” Sherry said, the words spilling out of her mouth before she could finish her thought. This was unreal; a crazy coincidence made in hell. Instantly, Sherry felt her palms sweat. Her anxiety only intensified when Darren extended his arm for a handshake.

Sherry stepped into the house, almost feeling as if she were barging through a strange tension between she and Mr. McWaters. Eye contact was a struggle for the both of them. Quickly, Darren showed the applicant down the hall to his dining room. There, they set down at the table – he on one side and she on the other. Sherry’s eyes gazed at the paperwork already on the table. Her confidence shattered; worry overran with worry. As she revisited the one night stand, as well as how she met this guy at The Blue Ivy then they went to dance at the bar down the street from her apartment, she wondered if he would even be able to take her seriously. Letting a woman with whom you had a one-night stand be the nanny to your practically-newborn baby? Sherry waited for the guy to open his mouth as it was very obvious they both were thinking about this awkward situation.

“So, how have you been, Miss Calhoun?” Darren asked. Familiarity made it difficult to conduct the interview how he’d planned. He looked at Sherry, quickly reminiscing as any man would about how he met this perky bartender one night then wound up going dancing then having wild sex in her bed. Something about her changed, though. She was still a very attractive woman – this couldn’t be denied. However, the paleness in her skin. Darren didn’t think she wore that much make-up at the bar. He had seen her in the morning with no make-up and she could easily give a lot of woman a run for their money. On top of this, her smile wasn’t the same; there was something cold about her gorgeous eyes.

Sherry smiled, trying her best to relax and take the situation for what it was. She shrugged. “I’ve been doing the best I can I can say. How have you been? I thought you lived in Chicago now that I think about it.”

“Um, yeah,” Darren said, nodding. “I did. I’m from there. Since then, I guess in the last year and a half, I wound up moving here for business and, well, here I am.”

“Oh, wow,” Sherry said, nodding her head and smirking. She tried to keep her composure. If she was unlucky enough to wind up with this kind of an interview, she was going to give it a good try. “Well, that’s interesting. Moved from Chicago to here for opportunity. That’s not really something you hear everyday.”

Darren chuckled. The sarcasm he remembered liking in Sherry at The Blue Ivy had come out. He set his pen down; his shoulders relaxed. “Yeah, I guess not. So, you don’t work at The Blue Ivy anymore?”

“No, I quit there back before...” Sherry said, catching herself. “It’s been a while at this point. I’m just looking to build my laugh back.” Her bout with cancer came to mind. “So...”

Darren nodded, opening the folder. “Yeah, I can understand that.” He looked at Sherry and saw the woman had obviously had some kind of mind-changing experience. Tempted to ask, he smiled and decided to go on with the interview then maybe afterward, if the awkward tension simmered, he would try to bring it up in casual conversation as he walked her out to the sidewalk.

Sherry put on her game face and answered each and every question Darren threw her way best she could. What experience did she have with children? Back before cutting ties with her family and forever going down in the family picture book as the black sheep, she was the auntie who watched her older sister’s kids after school when they were first starting elementary school. Sherry made sure to mask the regret she felt from going so long since seeing the three of them with a smile and a high head.

Darren asked Sherry about her availability then transportation. He liked Sherry’s stance on having company, when to answer the door, and how to handle emergencies if he weren’t around. There were moments during the interview where they even laughed a bit as the answer to a couple of questions easily transitioned into sarcastic jokes for Sherry. The longer the interview went on, the longer Darren looked at her and smiled effortlessly.

Within twenty minutes or so, Darren finished up with the planned interview questions then closed the folder. He looked up at Sherry – he’d long given up calling her Ms. Calhoun – and rose up out of his seat. “Well, I guess before you head home, I should show you around the house. We talked about you living here and you said you would want to see the layout of the house as well as where you would be living. Are you still interested in seeing?”

Sherry stood up as well, smiling and nodded. “Sure, thank you.”

Darren led Sherry around his home’s first floor. She commented on the architecture – pocket doors, french doors, stained glass windows in the kitchen as well as in the hallway. She loved the small den at the back of the house – a room with bay windows on all three sides. “Yep, this looks like the kind of room where I would sit with a baby.”

Darren chuckled, looking Sherry up and down the first time he’d seen her walking around behind the bar at The Blue Ivy. “Yeah...that does sound nice.”

All the while Darren showed Sherry around the second floor, there was one thing she could never seem to weave into the conversation: How did you wind up being a single father? Where is the mother? This guy didn’t mention a wife, ex or current, when we talked that nigh. Then again, he could’ve just been telling me whatever I wanted to hear. Wouldn’t be surprised if the guy had a wife and family in Chicago and was just having a little fun while he was out of town. Damn, what happened with the wife? How did his guy wind up the single father of a newborn baby?

“So, this is the room where you would be living,” Darren announced, opening a large wood door – obviously original to the home.

Sherry stepped into the large room, which was adjacent to the nursery. She walked around the queen-sized bed. The armoire looked like it cost a pretty penny. Sherry loved the heavy, designer drapes covering a window that looked taller than herself. She looked out and admired the view of a tree-lined street in a historic neighborhood.

After looking over the clearly-added-on bathroom, Sherry stepped out into the light, next to the bed. “Okay, this would be fine for me. I don’t need much space.”

“Good, good,” Darren said. He still had a few applicants, but something in his gut was telling him to go ahead and hire Sherry. She seemed genuinely interested in the role; however, there were moments where Darren felt a little crazy for even considering her. He chuckled out of the blue, suddenly grabbing Sherry’s attention. His mother’s potential reaction to finding out her son hired a bartender he had a one-night-stand with while out of town to be his nanny was nearly SNL-worthy. “Whatever you would need to change about the room, like the wall color or maybe even some of the furniture, I’m willing to consider, but only at the point in which you’ve been a nanny for six months.”

Sherry conveyed that she understood then followed Darren back downstairs. He then walked her out onto the porch. He noticed how she looked around shortly after he pulled the door shut.

“This house is beautiful,” Sherry said. “You know, it makes me think of this house my aunt and uncle used to live in, but up in Goshen. Kids up and down the street would joke that it was the haunted house of the block. When my aunt and uncle retired and bought it, I was one of the first kids to actually see inside and it was spectacular.”

“Yeah, these old houses are really something,” Darren said, turning toward the front as they stepped off of the porch and headed down the sidewalk. “I will say, though, that they require a lot of maintenance. A lot of work went into this one, but I got it for a good price.”

Sherry nodded. “That’s good. You’ve really done the house justice.”

Darren nodded, not knowing what to say next. “Okay, well, I’ll walk you to your car.”
He searched the block for the Toyota he followed that night they hooked up. “Where did you park?”

Sherry pulled her phone out of her pocket and held it up, smiling. “Uber,” she said.

“Oh, okay,” Darren said, nodding.

“Excuse me while I get this together,” Sherry said.

Darren stood with his hands in his pockets while Sherry arranged her Uber. He looked at her disposition and took in all the ways she’d changed – anguish had left its imprint on her face; she had gained a noticeable amount of weight, but was certainly still hot. Her blonde hair still swayed with every breeze and glowed in the midday sun. He shivered, not having anticipated that she would be needing transportation.

Darren checked his own phone – the time. Soon enough, he himself would need to be getting on his way to the daycare. He was due to get Gabriel today at 3 o’clock. “You know what?” he said, getting Sherry’s attention. “I gotta go and get Gabriel in a little bit. Maybe you could meet him that way. We have a little bit before I would have to leave to go to the daycare then I pick him up and I drop you back off at your place. What do you think?”

Sherry looked up from her phone, shoving clumps of her hair behind her ear. She smiled, unsure of what to say. “Oh, okay. I don’t see why not.”

Darren commented about it being too cold for her to be standing out on a windy street and waiting for an Uber. Quickly, he ushered her back into the house then insisted she sit in the foyer. Sherry did just that and waited on Darren to come back from the dining room with his laptop. He explained he needed to answer emails. Sherry couldn’t deny how dedicated this guy seemed to his work...whatever it was, as she didn’t really remember. In fact, she wondered what ever even happened to the business card she’d gotten from him.

“So, how do you like Fort Wayne so far?” Sherry asked, still thinking about her unanswered question. The longer she sat in the guy’s presence, especially in a different capacity than the last time, the more interesting he seemed.

Darren nodded. “It’s nice,” he answered. “It’s a big culture shock, I’m sure. Not really all that far away from Chicago, but I imagine so much different in terms of living.”

“Absolutely,” Darren said then rambled off a list of differences.

“Oh, that reminds me,” Sherry said, smiling as she figured out a way to pull the answer she wanted out of Darren. “Since I would be the child’s nanny and primary caretaker, I would obviously be in the house with him more than you and maybe dealing with other things for the child. You talked about your second car out in the garage that I would be able to use, and I do appreciate that. But will the mother ever be coming to pick up the child? Will I have to interact with her and how often would she be coming and taking the baby for how long?”

Darren bit his bottom lip. Irony seeped into his high spirit. He had been thinking about this very question being brought up by some of the applicants. He never would’ve imagined the applicant would be the bartender from that night. The man sighed, glanced away, then looked back at Sherry. “Actually, you wouldn’t have to deal with that.”

“Oh,” Sherry said. Her face then turned somber as she assumed the mother died. She glanced down at Darren’s hand, thinking that the guy might be a widower. He certainly didn’t seem like the kind of person to have a child out of wedlock.

“No, it’s not what you’re probably thinking,” Darren said. The various, underlying societal stigmas he’d been facing in recent years came flooding back into his confidence. “He’s adopted. I adopted him a couple months ago. At first, I stepped away from my business for a few weeks then I found this great daycare that takes newborns and they’ve been watching him for five to six hours a day, usually. But, well, I’m not all that excited about daycare if I know my child could have better. I would rather he be at home and under the care of someone I hire or screen and not those of a daycare.” He smiled. “And so here we are.”

“Oh,” Sherry said. She rubbed the back of her neck as she looked away. She regretted asking the question at this point, as if brought about five more unanswered questions. And these were questions she wouldn’t dare ask someone she was asking for a job.

Sherry accepted what Darren said then the conversation moved on. Before they knew it, Darren escorted her out to his MKZ, held the door for her to get it, then they were on their way to the daycare. The ride only lasted less than ten minutes, but it felt longer to Sherry. Nearly a mile from Darren’s house, she realized what agreeing to riding with the guy could mean in regards to her getting the job.

Light snow started trickling from the sky as Darren pushed out into the wind. A blue blanket made of a strange fabric covered his baby’s head as he walked quickly down to the sidewalk. Sherry took it upon herself to step out of the car and take the baby from Darren. He then opened the backdoor and stood back as Sherry comforted Darren’s wrapped-up baby. The chill in the wind was getting sharper and there was no doubt such was irritating the baby. With her voice raised, she playfully talked to the baby about his rosy cheeks as she fastened him into the car seat.

When Sherry stepped back, Darren looked inside and nodded his head in approval. There was a long second where they locked eyes then Darren rushed around to the other side of the car and climbed into the driver seat. Sherry jumped into her seat as well.

For much of the ride across town to the address Sherry had given as where she lived, she turned and glanced back Darren’s baby numerous times. When the boy started to fuss, she would make just as loud of a whining noise. Every so often, she would readjust his blanket, in tune with whether or not he might be getting too hot. There was an instance where she caught herself staring off at the street as Darren drove, remembering the way she would do the same for her little nephew when she still lived at home with her mom and dad. Sherry turned her head more and gnawed on her bottom lip in thought. I wonder how they’re doing.

Darren followed his GPS then pulled up in front of a different apartment than where he remembered Sherry living the night they hooked up. “Oh, I see you moved. This is nice. When you start, what will happen with your lease?”

When I start? Sherry’s eyes darted around. Does that mean he’s hiring me? He hasn’t officially told me. “Um, well, it’s not actually my place. I’m just staying with a friend for now.”

Darren looked at Sherry, still wondering what it could be she’d gone through that made her a bit more mature. The more he looked at her face as well as her eyes, the more he felt convinced. “Oh, I see,” he said.

“Yes, well,” Sherry said, deciding she would end this strange, unconventional interview the best way she could. She never saw Darren again after the first time they met. This time could very well be no different. Finishing up a job interview on a good note then never hearing from the employer was nothing new. “First, I should thank you for the ride home. You really didn’t have to, but thank you. I enjoyed the interview today as well and hope that you’ll stronger consider considering me for the position.” She glanced back at Darren’s baby once again. “Your son certainly is a nice soul.”

Darren smiled, glancing back at Gabriel. A nice soul? Darren found Sherry’s word choice to be so interesting. “If I consider considering you for the position.” He chuckled. “Well, I guess I’ll consider considering considering you for the job.”

Sherry giggled, realizing how she must’ve sounded. This Darren guy was far more charming than she remembered. Maybe it was living in Ft. Wayne, or maybe it was being a single father to an adopted son. He seemed a little looser – a little more personal. “Thank you.”

“When can you start, Sherry?” Darren came out and asked. “Look, I noticed the way you put him into the seat and how nurturing you seemed when taking him from me out in the snow. It was pretty clear you have experience taking care of a baby, and you clearly have the drive to be in this kind of role. If you would accept, we can definitely sit down and discuss a salary and whatnot. I just need to know when you can start.”

Sherry smiled, excited that she got the job. She nearly broke out in laughter. This was one hell of an interview. Whoever heard of some stuff like this happening? A guy from Chicago I hooked up with from The Blue Ivy winds up hiring me to be his nanny? This is almost too hard to believe. “Oh, okay. Thank you, thank you.” She was gracious. “Um, I can start as soon as possible. Maybe give me a couple days to gather my things up here and all that and bring stuff over, I guess.”

Darren nodded. “Tomorrow, I’ll arrange to bring the car over so you can go ahead and start using it. I’ll need to give information from you so I can put you on my insurance, but that won’t be a problem.”

Sherry nodded, processing it all. The last year of agony she’d been through was finally looking up. She kept time in mind and climbed out of the car so she wouldn’t hold Darren up. Before stepping away from the curb, she leaned behind the front seat and stuck her finger out toward Darren’s son’s closed fist. The little baby snickered in his sleep. Memories reminiscent of when she watched her nieces and nephew as a baby flooded back into her heart. There was something about holding Darren’s baby that made her soul glow in a way it never had with another baby. After all, she had experienced this very same feeling in the delivery room when the obstetrician finally brought her brand new baby boy into the world and up to his mother’s arms. There’s something about this baby.

“Okay, I’ll see you in a couple days little...” Sherry’s face scrunched up as she realized she still hadn’t been told the baby’s name. She wondered if Darren noticed her voice trail off. Would he be looking for her to remember because he perhaps had brought it up casually?
“Gabriel,” Darren said. “His name is Gabriel.”

Sherry’s stomach dropped; her heart skipped a beat. Her mouth hung open for a couple of seconds too long. Blinks were now few and far between. With a stiff neck, Sherry turned back to Darren’s baby – to Gabriel. She forced herself to finish her goodbyes with the baby as genuine as possible. She then backed up, she and Darren telling the other they would be in touch about her moving in, and watched Darren’s MKZ pull off and ride down the street. Sherry’s eyes followed Darren’s taillights until they were out of sight.

There, on the snowy walkway with nothing but her thoughts and suddenly brought-up memories that punched the sides of her heart like a needle carefully stabbing a filled balloon, The wind picked up; it’s chill was unforgiving. Sherry’s had been so lost in thought that the stinging sides of her face went unnoticed for several seconds. Only when the wind picked up and threw a light snow drift up onto her legs, some of it blowing up into her face, did she finally turned around and head for the entrance. As she climbed the steps and approached Chrissy’s apartment door, she paused and stared down at the floor. The silence of the hallway did nothing to mask her thoughts as they rang out like yelling in a library. Her head dropped and she sobbed. My Gabriel… I wonder where he is now? Did somebody adopt him? What kind of life will he wind up having?

***

When Darren pulled up back at home, he carried Gabriel into the house quickly. The snow had only gotten heavier during the drive back. The trees lining his street were heavy with a fresh layer of snow. Darren climbed his steps, thinking about some things, on his way to putting Gabriel back into his crib. At the first landing, the staircase faced a window with a built-in seat. Darren started to climb the second fleet of steps, but stopped and looked at the window for a moment. It looked out at the backyard of the house next door – a backyard so well-designed and manicured that a fresh layer of snow made it look like a winter wonderland masterpiece.

“Come on, buddy,” he said to sleeping Gabriel. “Let’s sit here for a minute. Why not?
Darren sat there, in the window, with his son. Gabriel’s head lay on the father’s shoulder while he looked out at the neighbor’s backyard. That was weird. Sherry had been on his mind for much of the ride. “This was just a strange day.”