Chapter Nine – Leah

“Oh, I’m so sorry that I’ve left you for so long!” Mandi apologizes with red, flushed cheeks as she giggles girlishly. “It’s just Jon has been keeping hold of me all night long. I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“Oh, don’t feel bad.” I touch her arm gently. “I’m happy for you, you just have a good time.”

God, I so wish that I could tell Mandi what just happened, I would love to see her reaction, but now isn’t the time or place. I don’t want her to freak out and make it obvious while we’re here in my home. No matter what, Brandon cannot find out. He will kill us. We shouldn’t have done that because of him, but how were we supposed to resist? Our feelings for each other are so damn strong, it’s impossible to keep away.

Plus, I’ll be honest, I like to keep it as a secret for just myself for a little while longer. It feels good.

“Are you sure?” Mandi whines at me, giving me a pleading look. “You aren’t being left alone?”

I want to laugh at Mandi’s question. “Honestly, I’m fine. I’m mingling. You get back to… whatever you’re doing. And have fun.” I give her a warning look. “Just make sure that you’re careful, okay?”

I want to leave Mandi now, but that’s because I want to find Zane again. He’s promised me a drink and I can’t wait to have it. If we share a drink afterwards, then it’ll be much more meaningful. I’ll know for sure that it isn’t just a sex thing. I’m very sure now, but I want to be one hundred percent certain. I want more.

I leave Mandi and Jon and make my way through the throngs of people. It’s still pretty crazy to believe that all these people are here for my brother. I know that he’s popular, but this is insane. The place is full. I wonder if this is what Mom planned on when she thought about this party. She might get a shock when she gets home.

“Zane Morris, come here and talk to me.” I jump as I hear a loud voice ringing through the building, calling on my guy. “You have a lot of explaining to do. Don’t you even think about turning away from me.”

I spin rapidly around trying to locate the source of that voice, and I immediately see myself looking at the girl from the mall, the one who Zane was seeing so much that he neglected Brandon for her. I didn’t think that she was here. Learning that she is shocks me, I don’t like the way it feels. Much as I think I have a claim on him, she has more of one. They’ve had a thing for a while, a thing in public that others know about. They don’t have to be a secret like me and him would always have to be. They can be together if they want to be.

Shit. I try and pull myself together as I watch Zane slowly turn around to face the girl. I watch his face desperately, trying to find a reaction in there but he’s stoic. It’s like his face is stuck in stone.

“Sure, Rose. Whatever you want.” He lets out a deep sigh. “Do you want to go somewhere private?”

“Oh, right sure.” Rosa flings her hands onto her hips. “So, you can hide me away? No thank you. It’s time that everyone here learns just what you’re like because you are not as perfect as you seem, Zane.”

The whole world freezes as I watch this strange exchange unfold. I don’t know how I feel about it any longer. Zane doesn’t look at Rosa like he did me just a few moments ago, which only reinforces to me that I do mean something to him. A lot more than she does anyway. I just wish she hadn’t turned up to ruin things.

“I know that I’m not perfect, Rosa. I don’t think I’ve ever claimed to be. Have I?”

“Pfft.” As she snorts at him even more people turn to watch the argument. Some people’s eyes light up with glee as they see drama. Some people love a bit of excitement at the cost of other people. “You certainly do.”

“No, Rosa, I don’t.” Zane is sounding overly patient. “I don’t pretend anything. You know as well as I do what I’m like. I never promised anything like commitment to you, if that’s what you’re worrying about.”

I suck in a deep breath, realizing that he hasn’t ever promised me anything like that either. But then again, we haven’t had any real conversations. The magnetism pulled me in, both of us in, and we caved to that.

“I’m not worrying about anything,” Rosa sneers. “I’m just pissed off that you didn’t invite me to this party tonight. You can’t even pretend that you didn’t know that it was happening because Brandon is your best fucking friend.” She gestures wildly towards my brother who looks as bewildered as I feel. “You don’t want me here.”

“Then why are you here?” someone yells from the crowd. “Get the fucking hint, Rosa.”

Rosa hisses and practically spits at whoever yells that to her, looking more like a wild animal than a person. There’s a protective sense in my chest, not that Zane needs it, I want to step forwards and do something. Luckily, I don’t. my feet remain firmly planted where they are, keeping me back from the limelight.

“I am with you, Zane. There’s no denying that. Why are you trying to pretend that it’s nothing?”

Bile rises in my throat, I feel like I might puke. Of all the issues that I considered to be an issue between me and Zane, I didn’t expect cheating to be one of them. I never thought him the sort of guy who would cheat on someone that he’s with… but that simply suggests to me that Rosa really has got the wrong end of the stick.

“I got a tattoo for you, Zane. Look, a snake.” She pulls out the tattoo. While I can’t see it, I find the whole thing weird. I wouldn’t ever get a tattoo for a guy that’s just asking for trouble. “A fucking snake, Zane.”

“Right, I think it’s time to get out of here,” Brandon finally steps in. “This is getting silly.”

I don’t know if I want Rosa to go because I’m scared that Zane might leave with her, but at the same time if nothing happens to stop this, it might get really out of hand. I remain where I am, still frozen and stuck while I wait for it to end. Brandon ushers Rosa and Zane out and everyone eventually gets back to where they were as if it never happened. Well, everyone except for me. I need to learn more.

Once my limbs finally unfreeze, I glance around to check that no one is watching and I creep towards the front door. As I go, I wonder what the hell I’m doing. Realistically, this is insane because even if me and Zane do want to pursue this, it’ll be terrifying telling everyone. Brandon will kill me and him, and Mom won’t be happy either. She has this dumb ass notion that a motorcycle immediately equals being in a gang. She won’t want that for me.

But, despite all of that, I still want to know what we could be. There’s still a deep urge to be with him.

The closer I get to the door, the louder the yelling gets. I can hear it bursting through the door and it’s filled with anger and rage. From her though, Zane sounds nothing but composed. It’s almost as if this is an annoyance to him, something that he needs to get rid of… I hope that’s because he wants to get back to me.

“You’re so horrible,” I hear Rosa scream. “You don’t even care that you’ve broken my heart.”

“Rosa, I was upfront with you. I told you that I would never want anything serious. You knew that.”

“I didn’t know that at all! Just because you’ve said it, doesn’t make it real. We have a connection…”

“No, Rosa. We don’t. I’ve had an actual connection with someone before and it doesn’t feel like this.”

I clutch my hands to my chest, allowing happiness to circle me. He has to mean me with that one because I haven’t ever felt anything like that before. I know I’m not as experienced as him, but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand what’s going on. There’s no way that chemical bond isn’t real. It’s everything.

Finally, after a while the shouting dies down and I get the sense that Rosa is finally leaving. I think Brandon has called her a cab and he’s sending her away. Thank God! I hope that means Zane isn’t going with her.

I scoot back from the door, press my back by the wall at the bottom of the stairs, and I wait. It takes a while, by the time the door swings open again my heart is in my mouth. I can barely control myself. I feel like it might just burst out of my throat at any given moment. I see Brandon, then Zane… and he looks incredible.

Zane’s eyes are drawn towards me, it’s almost as if the magnetic force is at work again. I give him a weak smile but I feel all strange inside. I want to grab onto him, I want to hold him and beg him to be mine, but I can’t. I need to try and be patient just a little while longer. Right now, he’s with Brandon.

Right, I tell myself decisively. Get back to the party. Act normally. Just wait.

The thing is, I know that Zane is worth waiting for. I’ve spent my whole life waiting for him, ever since my hormones came into play, and now that I’ve had a little piece of the pie I can continue to wait. I just need to hold it together. I suck in a couple of deep breaths, I do what I can to get my head on straight, and I wonder back into the living room where everyone is gathered. The room is full, but still, all I can feel is him.

I make my way over to the drinks table, needing something to calm me down. I definitely don’t want a beer this time, I want something cool and non-alcoholic to sort me out. Zane and Brandon are over by the table, but it’s okay, I can just avoid them as much as possible. I’m not concerned about them…

“Hey, Leah,” Brandon calls out to me, making my eyes fall to the ground. “How’s it going?”

“Yeah, good.” My tone is strained, my whole body is tense. I have the funny feeling that mine and Brandon’s relationship will get even worse after this. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

“Oh yeah, I am. This is the best party ever.” If I’m honest, he sounds drunk but I can’t look at him. I can’t meet Zane’s eyes in front of him. “Where’s your friend?”

I could tell him the truth, but it’s my get out clause. “I’m going to find her now. You… continue to have some fun and I’ll see you later.”

“You don’t want to stay and have a drink with us? Come on, little sis, it’ll be fun.”

I shake my head and force myself to get sucked in by the crowd a little bit. “I’ll see you later on. Mandi is waiting. I’ll see you in a bit, okay?”

Zane might know that I’m lying, but he’ll also understand why. Surely, he knows that I can’t just act normally in front of my brother. Not after what just happened. Everything is different now. I just hope it’s different in a good way…