Holy crap, I kissed Julian.

I. kissed. Julian. Alvarado.

It’s not like I hadn’t kissed boys before, or even gone beyond that. But there was something about kissing him that was so, so different from anything I had experienced.

When he had fed me those lines about being two souls that were drawn to each other, I had laughed. Only seeing the tough guy act he presented for everyone to see, there was no way he was being serious.

But he was serious. And he kissed me.

Like, really kissed me.

I mean the sky could be falling and I wouldn’t even notice kind of kiss

Then he said he wanted to take me out of a date, and I melted. Gwen had suggested I make a move, so I did. I just didn’t think it would go the way it had. I imagined us dancing around each other for at least another week or two before getting down to business. Instead, here I was, recently kissed and about to go out on a date with Julian.

I felt like a normal freaking teen. I couldn’t stop smiling.

“Hey, Katie,” my dad said hesitantly when I came out for breakfast the next morning. “You look happy.”

“I am happy.”

“I’m so glad. What caused the change of heart?”

I resisted the urge to bring my fingers to my lips. “I’m making friends.” It wasn’t exactly a lie.

“I know I’ve messed up. But it’s really good to see you with a smile on your face, even if I’m not the one responsible for it.”

I stopped in my tracks. This wasn’t the first time my dad had said something along those same lines. Most of the time, I was too upset to listen. Even now, I wasn’t quite ready to forgive, but I realized I wasn’t angry either. Not in this moment.

“Thanks, dad.”

“Believe it or not, Katie,” he said, using my actual name and not my nickname. “I do want what’s good for you. I’m hoping you’ll give me a chance to be your dad again. Until then, I’m here waiting.”

Whoa. This was weird. Last night I had the best kiss of my life. This morning, my dad and I were having something resembling a heart-to-heart.

Maybe I’d get a lottery ticket with the winning numbers as a tip today. Right now, nothing seemed impossible.

“I gotta go to work,” I said, grabbing a banana instead of sitting down for a full breakfast with my dad. “But maybe we can talk more later.”

“I’d love that. I mean it, Katie. I’m here whenever you’re ready to talk,” he said as I walked out the door to go to work.

I was giddy the entire drive, barely able to contain the excitement I felt.

Knowing I wasn’t alone in this attraction, I couldn’t wait to see him. Would he finally shed the act and show his playful side at work? Or would he be stoic still, and save that part of himself for me?

I walked into work with a grin on my face. I didn’t know what to expect from Julian, but I knew I was ready to explore this budding relationship with him. I was all in.

Julian had opened the diner that morning, which meant he was already there when I came in. I saw him working behind the window and took a moment to admire those stupid arms of his. This time I didn’t care if I got caught. Spying on him from a distance wasn’t cutting it though, so I went back to the kitchen to see him before clocking in.

“Hey, you,” I said, walking up behind him.

“Hey.” He smiled back me. Seeing his face lit up like that, I determined I liked happy Julian much than the bad boy he pretended to be. “I was wondering when you’d get here.”

“My shift starts at eleven.”

“Oh, good,” he said looking up at the clock. “You’re early, which means I can show you something in the walk-in really quick.”

“Huh?” I didn’t have any part of the food prep or ordering and couldn’t figure out what he’d need to show me. I didn’t move, standing awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen, looking back at him.

“Just come here, Katie,” he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me along with him.

The walk-in was a giant refrigerator that held all of the meat and dairy products, along with anything else that couldn’t sit out at room temperature. I rarely went in it, except to get new salad dressing or sometimes whipped cream for shakes.

It was cold and poorly lit. My mind had the pesky habit of imagining the worst case scenarios. I thought of all the possibilities. What if the door closed and I got locked in? I always got nervous whenever I had to grab something out of it. The fact the door didn’t have locks or even a doorknob didn’t ease my irrational anxiety.

But hand in hand with Julian, I was more curious than nervous. Plus, if I got locked in, I wouldn’t be alone.

“Okay, here I am,” I said, once inside “What did you want to–”

I didn’t get to finish my question before his lips found mine. It was over just as quickly as it started. Nothing raunchy, just a sweet way to start my shift.

“Oh.” Any coherent thoughts that were in my head left the instant his lips touched mine.

“I just had to do that now so I could focus on orders during lunch,” he said, cupping my cheek. “I’m looking forward to tonight.”

“Me too.”

“But right now I’m going to get back out there before Mike realizes I’m missing and decides to come help.”

“I should get out there too. Looks like it’s pretty busy already.”

Thankfully, no one saw us walk out together. I could just hear the rumors that would start from that. I could imagine everyone’s different reactions.

Frank would want to fist bump Julian, if he saw it. He was the typical grown man who still acted like he was in his prime. Tabitha would say something about youth these days. She’d been in the business for too many years to count and was very obviously over teenage hijinks.

Gwen would probably march us right back in there and stall anyone trying to come back. I blushed at the thought. She had really pushed us together the last time we talked. I couldn’t wait to catch her up.

But Mike, if he saw it, I doubted he would be happy with that development. I doubted he would keep it to himself. I kept forgetting he and my dad were friends, considering I never actually saw them together. I had easily compartmentalized them into two completely different parts of my life.

I did not want to give anyone, least of all my dad, any reason to perpetuate the reputation Julian had. Even if I didn’t fully understand it.

How could I date him and not know what the catalyst for all the rumors?

I vowed to make Julian tell me what exactly was going on in this town. Why everyone seemed to steer clear of him. Why did I hear his name whispered even when he wasn’t around? I needed to know what all the fuss was about.

Speaking of drama, I watched as Tyler walked into the diner alone. Mercifully, I hadn’t seen him since the incident several weeks ago. I thought I might get lucky and never see him again. But he sat down in my section and watched me expectantly.

I sighed, knowing I needed to go to the table, knowing I needed to be cordial even though every part of me wanted to rage. The customer is always right, I thought mockingly to myself. I still hadn’t gotten over the things he had said that day. I didn’t think I ever would.

Stealing a quick look toward the kitchen and seeing Julian was otherwise occupied with the grill, I walked over.

“Hey.” My voice held a hint of annoyance. Okay, so maybe I wouldn’t be too cordial.

“Hey, Katie,” he said with a bright smile, oblivious to the fact I wasn’t pleased to have him sitting in my section.

“What do you want?”

“Besides stellar food at a great price?” His voice sounded like he was reciting some kind of radio slogan. His smile fell when he saw I was unaffected by his playfulness. “I wanted to see you. I’ve come in a few times and you never seem to be working.”

“Tyler, listen…” I grasped for the right words.

“Katie, I was a jerk. I overreacted. But you’re hot and I know you think I am too.”

The memory of the river popped in my head. I had been attracted to him before he opened his big, fat mouth. Now when I looked at him, I saw through the too fake smile and the perfect appearance. He was shallow and condescending beneath the facade.

“I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. I was new to town and I was excited to have someone talk to me. But I’m not interested.” I looked back toward the kitchen, hoping Julian wasn’t watching before turning back. “I’d be happy to get you a burger though,” I said, trying to change the subject

“What is it with that guy?” He looked over at the kitchen. “I can’t figure out why girls want to fall all over themselves to get near him.”

“What?”

“Julian. That’s who you were looking for just now, isn’t it?” He leaned over the table toward me, pointing his fingers back and forth between the two of us. “There was a spark between us, but then Julian showed up.”

“Tyler.”

“Michelle is single now, but she still won’t date anyone. I’m guessing because she’s still hung up on him.”

Michelle, Julian’s ex.

“He’s nothing special. And yet, it doesn’t matter what people say about him. Girls are lining up to drop their panties.”

Crack.

The palm of my hand hit the side of his face before I even realized it was moving. I’d never slapped someone before. I’d also never been spoken to that way before either.

“You bitch!” He spat at me, pressing his fingers to his face.

“Why do you keep coming in? Why does it seem like every time I see you, I only see hate?”

“You are more trouble than you’re worth.”

“I could say the same for you.”

“Julian is trouble. Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” He practically growled at me before storming out.

It was the second time he’d come in only to stir things up. He hadn’t ordered food either time, and his jabs seemed to be more than just a boy with a crush. He didn’t know me and our brief history flirting back and forth certainly didn’t point to long term commitment.

So why did this keep happening?

I walked back to the kitchen ignoring the family that was just seated in my section. They would have to wait. Julian was waiting for me as soon as I walked through the door, standing in the middle of the room not working on any orders.

“What the hell is the deal with you and Tyler?”

He raised his brows in question, tilting his head slightly. A silent urge for me to go on.

“That is more than just a boy rejected. He’s psychotic.”

“That’s funny, considering that’s what people usually say about me.”

“Julian, I can’t do this. I don’t understand why people seem to hate you so much. You gotta let me in.” I pleaded with him, not caring about the restaurant responsibilities we both had. The same ones we were currently ignoring.

The late morning had gone from sweet and playful to tense in a matter of minutes. I couldn’t handle the whiplash. I was healing, and I was putting myself back out there. I was feeling normal. But I still wasn’t in a position to deal with the emotional demands of situations like this.

“Julian,” I said again when he didn’t respond. “I’m serious. I want to explore this. I do. But you’re going to have to open yourself up to me if there’s any chance of it turning into anything beyond stolen kisses at work.”

“You’re right.” He adjusted his hat with one hand, while he ran the other down his face. “This isn’t the place, though. Let me take you to the caves tonight. I promise we’ll talk.”

“Okay,” I said compliantly and walked back out.

I spent the rest of the shift trying to ignore Julian, but still painfully aware of him at the same time. It was exactly like it was before our kiss and I wondered if that’s how it would always be. I hoped things would change. That they could change.

Because I knew my limits, and right now I was dangerously close to breaking.