Four days.

That was how long it had been since I’d seen Julian. I had gone seeking forgiveness for being another person to abandon him. I had been so happy to see the class catalog in his hand. He was going to go to college. He hadn’t given up. I was so damned proud of him.

Unfortunately, now I was faced with the very real possibility that I had screwed things up so badly with him, he would never forgive me.

Thankfully, he wasn’t the only reason I was back in River Valley. I did want to pursue my relationship with my dad. I was grateful for genuine friendship with Gwen, and wanted to be close to her. I was looking into BSU for school. It wasn’t the school that had always been in the center of my dreams of the future. It wasn’t even close. But knowing Gwen and Mitch would be there, I wasn’t as scared of the change.

Plus, I really did miss the scenery out here. The changing of the seasons would take some time getting used to, but Idaho felt like home to me.

It didn’t mean Florida was in my past and I’d never go back. I had already agreed to go back and visit my grandparents no less than three times a year. Christmas break and summer break were givens. My grandma had insisted on an additional wild card trip as well. Thanksgiving, Spring Break, whatever. It didn’t matter, just as long as I was seeing them regularly.

It had been an easy concession. I would miss them and the gorgeous weather. Even now, I was trying to convince Gwen she needed to come back with me over Christmas break.

“It’s only a couple of weeks away, Katie,” she argued. “There’s no way my parents would let me go. Besides, you just got back. You seriously can’t be considering leaving again.”

“I told my grandma I would.”

“What about Julian? He’ll be crushed.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that’s going to be a problem. He still won’t talk to me.”

“Oh, Katie,” Gwen said, pity clearly displayed on her face. It was a look that used to send me running for the hills. Now, I realized it was there because Gwen truly cared about me. She wanted things to work out with Julian and me.

“Have you talked to him?” I asked her, hoping for an update.

“We’re still friends. I might be one of his only friends.”

“Ouch.”

“I’m sorry, Katie, but it’s true. I’ve forgiven you, but I guess he’s just not ready. I’m not going to stop being there for him just because you two have shit to work out.”

Her phone dinged and she took a couple of minutes to respond to whoever it was. I had a feeling it was Mitch. She had been pretty tightlipped about him since I had been back, always probing into my drama instead of offering up her own. But Gwen was like that, private until she was ready to talk.

While she responded, I looked through her parents’ movie collection. We had agreed the night would be one full of ice cream and movies. An action film caught my eye, one I knew had zero love story going on. How funny it was our roles had been reversed not that long ago.

“What about this?” I asked, holding it up.

“Sure, sounds great,” she said, barely looking up from her phone. It irritated me she had agreed to our girls’ night in, but had been distracted almost the entire time. I tried to remind myself there were worst things she could do. I don’t know, like fly across the country without any warning.

The movie hadn’t been on for longer than ten minutes when the doorbell rang. I looked to Katie who was wrapped in her blanket, shoveling a bite of ice cream into her mouth.

“Would you mind getting that?” she asked around the bite.

“Did you order a pizza?” I asked. We both loved to eat and I could forgive her flakiness if it was for the sake of food. “Did you already pay?”

Her mouth was suddenly full of another bite and she couldn’t say anything beyond a muffled sound I interpreted as a yes. Thank goodness she was finally getting into it. I didn’t want to stuff my face alone tonight.

I ran to the door, but when I opened it, it wasn’t a pizza delivery man. It was Julian.

Julian was here. My heart was threatening to beat out of my chest.

“How did you know I was here?” I asked but the look he gave me in response was answer enough. “Gwen,” I said, answering my own question.

“I wasn’t sure what to say. I thought it might be better if I just showed up. Go for a ride with me?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine!” Gwen hollered from the other room, obviously listening to every word we spoke in the doorway. “Now, get out of here so I can watch my movie.”

I didn’t bothering replying, but instead followed Julian to his car.

He drove us out to the desert. The weather was freezing and I was thankful for the heavy jacket I had brought to Gwen’s. Between it and the heat coming from the vents inside the vehicle, I was comfortable.

I didn’t know where he was taking me. I knew it wasn’t the caves, because we had driven out there not that long ago. It was also was getting late. I didn’t think the caves would be safe after dark. As angry as Julian might be, I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. I watched the scenery out the window as he drove.

When he suddenly stopped in the middle of nowhere and got out of the car, I followed him. I watched as he grabbed a blanket out of the backseat. My blanket.

“Why did you leave this at my house the other night, Katie?” he asked, holding it up so I could see it better. As if I didn’t have the entire thing committed to memory.

“I made it for you. I wanted you to have it even if you never talked to me again.”

His eyes widened. “You made it?” His voice was full of awe.

I dipped my head slightly. “When I was back in Florida. My grandma and I spent some time crafting.”

“You made it for me?”

I shrugged.

“That means you were thinking about me while you were gone.”

“Yes.”

“And you were planning on coming back.”

I nodded. “Julian, I was scared and I ran. I regretted it almost immediately, but I didn’t know what to do. Once I was there, I needed to get some things taken care of with my mom’s stuff. After that was Thanksgiving and I decided to spend it with my grandparents.” His eyes never left mine as I explained. “But, yeah. I planned on coming back.”

“Why didn’t you call then? Or text? Gwen was so worried.”

“I don’t know.”

“I want to try again, Katie. But I need to know you’re going to stay.”

I bit my lip knowing I was going to back to Florida for Christmas.

“Are you kidding me? You’re not staying?”

“No, I am,” I said quickly. “I’m just going for Christmas to see my family again.” Julian let out an audible sigh of relief. “I actually applied for Boise State while I was in Florida. I’m still waiting to hear back, but I’m hoping to start classes in the summer.”

He flashed his brilliant smile at my words. “That’s great. I was really hoping you were here for good this time.”

I hoped that meant he’d forgiven me. I was cold and shivering and still wasn’t sure what was going on. I didn’t understand why we were having this conversation out here instead of in the warmth of a house, or even his car. “Um, Julian. What are we doing out here?”

His smile got bigger, if that was possible, and he jumped up on the hood of his car with the blanket. “Come here,” he said, patting the space next to him. He didn’t have to ask twice.

As soon as I sat down, I could feel the lingering heat from the engine. It was heaven in contrast to the frigid air around us. Julian wrapped the blanket I had made around us and put his arms around me. “I wanted you to see the milky way.”

I looked up and saw the sky. I had been so focused on Julian, I had failed to look up. We were in the middle of nowhere and there wasn’t a streetlamp anywhere in sight. In fact, I bet the closest one was at least a mile away at this point. The nearest town was several miles away. That coupled with the crescent moon, made this night perfect for seeing it.

The line that cut across the night sky almost looked like smoke with the way white light billowed from it. That or some kind of portal to another dimension. My inner geek girl squealed in delight at that possibility. I pushed her back, determined to give Julian my attention.

“Thank you,” I whispered. I had imagined what it would be like to look up at the night sky together when I sewed the stars to the blanket that was now wrapped around us both. This was infinitely better.

“Katie,” Julian’s voice broke through the silence of the night, “I was planning on telling you I loved you the day you left.”

“What?” I asked, taking my eyes off the sky and looking at him briefly before turning my face down toward the ground. Even having Gwen hint that he felt this way, the words still shocked me.

“I think that’s why you leaving hurt so much.” I sat there continuing to avoid eye contact with him, trying to process the words he had just spoken when I felt his hand gently cup my cheek. He turned my head slightly so I was forced to look at him. “I love you, Katie Lynch. I think part of me always has.” His eyes searched mine, waiting for my response.

“I love you, too,” I said honestly.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you when you first came back. I needed to figure out if I was ready to put myself back out there.”

“I guess this means you are?”

“It wasn’t even a question; I just thought it was.” He kissed me quickly before pulling back. “I will always choose you, Katie. Always.”

“Well, I hope I’ll make it where you never have to choose again. Now, kiss me again before I go crazy.” I put my hands on either side of his face, dragging his mouth to mine.

He kissed me and didn’t stop until the stars above us had moved far across the night sky. He kissed me with the love of a man who would never let me out of his sight again.

He kissed me and I knew I was home.