Paige
DEEP INSIDE, I hate myself for being so weak. But as soon as my lips collide with his, all of my self-loathing is engulfed in a flame as all rational thought vacates my body.
A ravenous need I’ve never experienced before consumes me and I don’t care about the consequences. The only thing that matters is the ache in my center and Sean is the only one who can soothe it.
While our tongues engage in a battle of wills, I feel the exact moment his restraint snaps.
“I need you,” he growls. His grip on my waist is rough and hard, leaving no doubt as to what he wants. A gasp leaves my mouth the moment he pulls me flush against his body, the bulge in his pants impossible to miss. A slight groan vibrates in his throat at the contact.
My chest rises and falls quickly while his mouth trails kisses down my neck. I lean my head back to give him better access. This is too much, but not enough, the contradiction sending my mind into a spin.
What the hell are you doing?
My eyes squeeze shut, hoping to drown out the voice in the back of my head. To quiet my inner thoughts, I grab the sides of his face, pull his head up, and attack his lips again.
In an instant, I’m weightless, suspended in midair before my back hits the wall behind me with a thud. Instinctively, my legs wrap around his body as he uses his hips to pin me.
Sean douses the small fire burning between us with kerosene when his large palm glides up my shirt and reaches my breast. I’m unable to contain the moan that escapes me when he pinches my bra-covered nipple. I’m desperate for more as I grind against him unabashedly.
“Fuck, Paige.” It comes out like a plea, the rawness of his voice making my core clench. “I need you now.”
I nod frantically, unable to find words that won’t make me sound as desperate as I am.
He spins us around quickly and walks a few steps before placing me on the dining room table. As soon as he puts an inch of distance between us, his hands go to my pants and unbutton them. While he works on my pants, I attack his shirt, hating each button as I go.
“Lift up,” he says against my lips. With my hands behind me on the table, I raise my hips. In one rough motion, he pulls off my jeans and panties. Immediately after, my shirt and bra are next to go, leaving me completely bare to him.
His eyes rake me from head to toe as he licks his lips. The last time we had sex, we were in such a hurry to keep from getting caught there was no opportunity to stare at each other. Having him look at me like this makes me want to hide. It’s not the predatory gleam in his eye that has me feeling vulnerable, it’s the way he sees me. No matter how bitchy or indifferent I am, I know he sees right through it.
And it’s terrifying.
Sensing my growing unease, his hands travel up my arms before cupping my face and sealing my mouth with his.
“Stay with me,” he whispers against my lips.
I should be freaked out by how well he reads me, but I focus on his words and put a lock on my worries. My hands travel up his rippled abs and over his pecs until they’re pushing his shirt off of his shoulders. I don’t pull back to admire the perfectly sculpted body standing in front of me for fear my brain will start working again. With his lips on mine, I’m able to focus on the task at hand: get Sean naked and inside of me.
My fingers fumble with the button on his pants before getting them undone. They fall to the floor and he pulls back to study me again. With hearts racing and breaths panting, I don’t know what he’s waiting for.
“I don’t have any condoms on me,” he says after a minute.
Who cares? Just do me already!
The rational side of my brain fights its way through the lust-filled cloud in my head and tells me this is a problem. My stomach drops. “I don’t have any either.”
Shit. Why don’t I have any here?
Because you weren’t expecting Mr. Sex on Legs to show up unannounced.
“I’m on the pill,” I blurt out. His eyes search mine, making me apprehensive. Then it dawns on me that he’s probably looking for other assurances. “I’m clean too.” I feel the heat travel from my core to my cheeks. This is so awkward as he stares at me in silence, completely nude.
“I haven’t been with—” He stops abruptly, his jaw clenching. “I’m clean too if you’re sure.”
I nod, not sure how to continue since the mood has kind of been killed.
He closes the small distance between us slowly. His eyes travel over my face before he tucks a stray hair behind my ear. The tender gesture sends butterflies straight to my stomach. I’m not used to this, especially between us. It’s a single moment, but so at odds with everything that defines us. We’re jabs and jokes and intense sexual tension. We’re not sweet and caring and affectionate.
Like before, he kisses the inner turmoil out of me, making me forget about everything we should and shouldn’t be. Soon, we’re right where we were before being responsible slowed us down.
His hands skim the inside of my thighs and I tremble in anticipation. I can tell he’s taking his time on purpose, knowing how badly I need the friction. It seems like an eternity before he gives me what I want and connects with my clit. I let out a gasp in response. I’m beyond ready for him as he circles and teases me. As good as this feels, I don’t want foreplay.
I want him.
Hooking my heels behind his bare ass, I pull him into me, hoping he gets the point. The grin that I feel spread across his lips confirms that he does.
He lines himself up and sinks into me in one slow push. My head falls back as my eyes slam shut.
“Eyes on me,” he demands, stilling his movements.
My focus snaps back to him before he continues in a punishing rhythm. With jaw set, he stares deep into me and it’s more than I can handle. It’s too intimate, too . . . close.
Going back to my safe place, I kiss him and push my worries to the back of my mind. With my attention solely on my impending orgasm, it doesn’t take long for me to explode. A myriad of words I’m not even sure are in the English dictionary fly out of my mouth as I ride the wave Sean has me on. With my body relaxed and exhausted, Sean stills inside of me as his grip on my hips tightens to an almost painful point as he finds his release.
His head slumps forward and rests on my shoulder, a large exhale hitting my bare chest.
My whole body goes tense the instant I start coming down from this high. Need and desire has disappeared, leaving panic in its wake.
“Stop.” His tone is firm, surprising me. He stands back up and says, “You’re overthinking this again.”
I glance away even though I feel his eyes on me. He’s trying to get me to stay in the bubble we were both cocooned in a minute ago, but I can’t.
I swallow. “I’m not overthinking anything.” It sounds like a lie even to my own ears.
He backs up, giving me some much needed space. “No? So are you going to ignore me for a couple of weeks again and pretend like we didn’t just fuck?”
I scoff at his crassness and accusation. “I didn’t ignore you. I was . . . busy.”
He laughs. “Whatever you say, princess. You and I both know you can’t hide from this.”
He’s right, which only pisses me off. After our encounter at Charlotte’s baby shower, he was all I could think about, but I know how this will end. He’ll eventually walk away and leave me to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. Sorry, but that doesn’t sound appealing to me.
I hop off the table and grab my clothes off the floor before taking them to my bedroom. I make quick work of putting them back on. If Sean wants to have this conversation, I can’t do it while I’m naked.
“What are you afraid of?” His voice low in my ear makes me jump out of my skin.
I spin around quickly to see him flashing me his lopsided grin. At least his pants are on. “Jesus, you scared the hell out of me,” I say with a hand on my chest.
“I gathered. Now answer my question. Why are you fighting this? And no more bullshit.” He pins me with a pointed look, and it’s obvious I can’t avoid him any longer.
“Look, I’m not the relationship type. I’m fine on my own.” I pause. “I’m happy this way.” While not a lie, it’s not really the truth either. I don’t do relationships, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t envious of what my friends, Lydia and Charlotte, have. They both have great guys that worship the ground they walk on. Men they’d do anything for. Some days, I imagine that could happen to me, but with each failed relationship, the realization it wasn’t in the cards for me has settled in.
“You’re getting a little ahead of yourself, don’t you think?” He casually leans against the doorframe of my room, crossing his left ankle across the other and folding his arms over his chest.
I arch my eyebrow and mimic his stance with my arms. “How so?”
“I never said anything about a relationship, and you’re over here acting like I’m about to propose.”
Coming from anyone else, I’d be embarrassed. But one look at the playful, cocky glint in his eye, and it’s game on. “Proposing? No, but you have been chasing after me like a lost puppy since I shot you down in Myrtle Beach.”
He clutches his chest. “You wound me, princess.” His grin is still in place, letting me know he’s full of shit. “You don’t seem to mind me when I’m making you come,” he shoots back.
That causes my face to redden and my thighs to clench. I attempt to respond, but nothing comes out.
“Why does this have to be serious? We can keep things casual and the way they are, but you need to stop acting like I have the plague after I fuck you.” His tone is lighthearted, but I still cringe.
“Casual? Like friends with benefits?”
His head rocks from side to side as if to toss the title around in his mind. “Listen, let’s not put labels on it, okay? We just take it easy, have some fun, and see where it goes.”
I study his face, looking for any sign to indicate he’s full of shit. At first, I assumed he was just trying to get into my pants. I wasn’t interested in being a notch on some guy’s belt, least of all a guy who’s as cocky and self-assured as Sean. He needed to be knocked off his high horse, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy doing it. But now that we have had sex, he’s still pursuing more with me, which makes me question the sincerity of his suggestion. Is this a ruse for something more?
His stoic face gives nothing away, letting me mull it over.
Take it easy and have some fun. Am I capable of doing this? I might be anti-relationships, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to do this casual, no-strings-attached sex thing either.
There’s a challenge in his blue eyes, almost like he’s daring me to say yes. What’s the worst that could happen? If things get muddy, I’ll walk away. Simple as that.
“Fine.”
In a millisecond he’s on me like a lion attacking its prey, distracting me from wondering if I just made one big-ass mistake.