Paige
THIS IS THE second time I’ve been in this hospital in almost two years, and I’m not mad about it. The first time was when Lydia had Ella, and here we are again waiting on Charlotte to have her baby. Lydia, Scarlett and I have been hanging out in the waiting room for three hours. You can feel the anxious energy pinging between us as we wait to hear that momma and baby are doing well.
“God, I don’t remember it taking this long when I was in labor,” Lydia groans.
Scarlett and I both just look at her. “Are you serious? We were here for hours.”
She looks up to the ceiling like she’s thinking about it. “Oh, yeah. I was in labor for ten hours or so. I guess I forgot.”
“You know what that means, right?” I ask her.
“What?”
“You’re ready for baby number two.”
She shakes her head adamantly. “Nope.”
“Yep. You’ve already forgotten the sucky parts of pregnancy.”
Lydia rolls her eyes and waves me off, but I know I’m right.
“Hey, guys.” We turn around to see Nate walking toward us. My whole body comes to life with excitement until I notice he’s in scrubs.
“Is she okay?” I ask immediately.
He lets out a tired sigh. “Yeah, Charlotte is fine. The baby’s heart rate dropped, so they had to do a C-section.”
“How’s the baby?” Scarlett asks.
“Baby is fine too. They just finished checking him out and he’s a healthy, seven pound, two ounce boy.”
“Name?” Lydia chimes in. Nate and Charlotte were undecided last time I checked on names. Charlotte wanted to name him Nathaniel after his father, but Nate wasn’t convinced.
“As usual, the queen got her way.” Judging by the curve of his mouth and light in his eyes, he’s not hating the decision at all.
“Well, when can we see them?” I ask.
“They’re going to wheel them into recovery soon and then you can stop by.”
It’s not long before we’re given permission to see the new mommy and baby. When we walk into her room, I hate myself for not having my camera ready. Charlotte embodies everything you think a mother should be. From the way she cradles him to her body, to the soothing sound of her voice, she’s a natural already.
“Oh, he’s perfect,” I whisper, not wanting to ruin the moment. Charlotte looks so happy she’s on the verge of tears, but she deserves this moment. With their fertility issues, this was a long time coming.
She glances up at us with a beaming smile. “Hey, guys. Come on in.”
Our attention turns toward this perfect little bundle of joy lying in Charlotte’s arms. When it’s my turn to hold him, everything around me becomes a dull hum. I stare down at him and realize for the first time in forever that I want this for my life.
I’m going to be thirty years old in a few months and have been alone for so long, I think I got used to the idea of not having this. The notion of some biological clock actually made me laugh. But here I am, hearing it tick louder than ever as I watch Nate Jr. sleep. There was no sense of urgency when I held Lydia’s newborn, so I’m not sure why my reaction is so different now.
Yes, you do.
Sean.
“Okay, you’ve held him long enough,” Scarlett complains. “It’s my turn.”
Begrudgingly, I pass him off to Scarlett and sit in a chair off to the side. My friends and I talk a little before I hear my phone ding inside my purse. I pull it out and a smile pulls at my lips automatically when I see who it’s from.
Sean: RF- I played lacrosse in high school and was really good at it. I also played basketball. I wasn’t so good at that.
I laugh quietly to myself as I look down at my phone. After I surprised Sean with lunch in his office a week ago, we’ve been sending each other these texts. Whenever one of us thinks of a completely random fact about ourselves, we’ll text RF. If there’s a random question we want to know, we’ll text RQ. It’s been a fun way to get to know each other.
I slide my phone back into my purse and focus back on my friends only to see them staring at me.
“Who’s that?” Lydia asks.
“No one,” I reply. Scarlett is the only one I’ve talked to about Sean, and even she doesn’t know that we’re actually together now. I’m not sure why I’m keeping it a big secret, but telling them makes it more real. If I’m being honest, I don’t want to deal with them if this blows up in my face.
“Must be a really funny no one to put that kind of smile on your face,” Charlotte says as she takes the baby back from Scarlett to feed him.
Looking at my friends, it dawns on me that what I have with Sean is real. The butterflies in the stomach Lydia and Charlotte talked about, the excited sensation I get when he walks into the room, the anxiousness I feel when he’s on his way over is all there. I used to be envious when they’d gush over their men, but I realize I have the same thing now. As I look at Charlotte holding her new baby, I only hope this is where Sean and I end up, and the first step to getting there is to tell my friends.
“I’ve been seeing Sean.” I expect to see two sets of shocked faces, but they look at me like it’s about time.
“Finally,” Lydia mutters with a roll of her eyes.
“Yeah, I thought we were gonna have to tie you to a chair and make you date the poor guy,” Charlotte adds.
“What—I mean—you’re not—”
“Surprised?” Charlotte asks. “The only thing that shocked us was that it took so long.”
“How long have you been seeing him?” Lydia asks. Again, shock is absent from her tone.
“A month,” I reply.
And that’s that. I’m not really sure how to feel about this whole exchange. If anything, the wind has kind of been sucked from my sails.
I brace for an onslaught of questions, but they never come. It’s as if I told them I went to the store today. Maybe they know me and are afraid to bring too much attention to it so I don’t freak out. Either way, I’m slightly perplexed they’re not being more intrusive and a lot taken aback.
Once I get home, I set my stuff down and plop down on the couch. It’s been a long day and it feels good to lean back and relax. Grabbing my phone, I debate on whether or not to text Sean back. We don’t always respond to each other when one of us sends an RF, but there is something I want to tell him. I’m not real open about my growing feelings with him, but hopefully he understands the huge step this was for me today.
Me: RF- I told my friends about us today.
A few minutes go by and there’s no response. Again, not unusual even if it is a little disappointing. Standing up, I start getting ready for bed by taking a shower. I’m just stepping out when there’s a knock on the door. I wrap a towel tight around my body before checking to see who it is.
With one eye closed, I look through the peephole to see nothing but thick, blond hair as he looks down at the ground. Slowly, I open the front door and Sean looks up at me.
He doesn’t say a word. No hi, how are you, nothing. He closes the short distance between us, cups my face in his large hands, and kisses me. Butterflies have left my body and given way to something I can’t grasp, I can’t describe. It’s something that makes me feel as light as air. Something that sucks every bit of oxygen from my body while breathing in new life. Something that no matter how many times I experience it, I’ll never get used to it and I pray it always has the same effect.
He pulls away and I can’t help the sadness that follows. “Thank you,” he says.
My eyebrows pull in. “Thank you? For what?”
“You think I don’t pay attention, that I don’t know you, but I do. I know telling your friends was a big step for you—for us. It made it . . .”
“Real,” I finish for him.
He nods. “Yeah, and for the first time ever, I feel like you’re really mine. I didn’t want to tell you that over text. I thought this was a message better delivered in person.”
I swallow hard, trying not to freak out with how serious this conversation is. “Well, message received,” I reply.
“Good, get some sleep, gorgeous.” He winks, turns around, and leaves.
Minutes pass and I’m still standing in the door, holding my towel to my chest, staring in the direction he walked off in. Part of me hopes he turns around and comes back, but the other part knows I need the distance to process this. Sean and I are way more serious than I initially bargained for. What started as a casual friends with benefits arrangement has quickly morphed into the one thing I was dead set against. But what’s most surprising is I’m okay with it.
For now.