Sean
HEADLIGHTS LIGHT UP the inside of my car, and I know Paige is pulling into the driveway. I’ve been here for about thirty minutes, but in that time I’ve done a lot of thinking.
I can’t do this anymore. She’s pushing me away, allowing me to get within arms distance and that’s it. I need more from her. My hope was that this agreement would lead to more, but I’m realizing that’s not the case. I’ll give it one more shot and then I’m done.
She smiles up at me when I walk up to her car door to help her out, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. She seems distant, distracted even.
“Hey, gorgeous,” I greet her.
“Hey.” She walks up to her front door and I follow behind her. With every step I take, a new sense of dread settles over me. This will be the end. I feel it.
The condo is dark as we walk in after she unlocks the door. She flips on the light and says, “You coming—”
“Not yet,” I reply, cutting her off. “But I plan to.” She glares at me, but I see the corners of her mouth twitch as she fights off her smile.
“As I was saying . . .” She looks at me with a less than enthused look before continuing. “You coming over unannounced now?” Her hip pops out to the side as she stares me down. This is our norm; the bantering and bickering. But I don’t want our normal, I want more.
My feet move in slow, measured strides toward her. “Oh, it was announced.” She backs up with each step I take forward until her back hits the wall. “It was welcomed even.” She swallows hard as my lips come within an inch of hers. “Call me a liar.”
“Liar,” she whispers.
“Bullshit.”
I cut off any further conversation by kissing the life out of her. I don’t stop until the both of us need to come up for air. My hands roam her body, feeling every curve. I’m not soft and gentle and give her the only thing she’s willing to take from me.
It’s not long before she’s panting and grinding her body against mine. She needs more. Well, I do too. Until I get what I want, she’s not getting what she wants.
“Give in to me,” I say against her lips. Her eyebrows pull in. “Be with me.”
“I’m pretty sure I am right now.” Her tone gives away her nervousness and I know she’s avoiding, but I’m not letting her hide anymore.
I pull back more to study her face. Every emotion possible is hidden in the depths of her hazel eyes. Anxiety, uncertainty, curiosity, denial, hope.
Fear.
“You know what I mean. Let’s cut the bullshit, Paige.” With her hand on my chest, she pushes me away from her and walks away. “What’s the problem here?” I hold my arms out wide before letting them fall to my sides.
With her back to me, she says, “Look, I’ve dated guys like you. The insanely attractive, self-assured, confident guy, and I always get screwed in the end.” She spins around to face me.
“Well, we’ve been doing a lot of screwing lately.” My eyebrows move up and down salaciously.
A sigh of disgust leaves her lips as she rolls her eyes. “Can you not be serious for five minutes? This is exactly why this will never work. I’m telling you why I can’t do this and you’re making jokes about it.”
I close the distance between us and grab her hands while holding her gaze. The humor is removed from my face and all that’s left is an intensity I hope she can feel down to her damn toes.
“I joke in serious situations. It’s just what I do. What you described is nothing like me. I mean, other than the attractive part.” I wink and she shakes her head, suppressing a grin. “When I’m around you, I’m anything but self-assured and confident. I never know where I stand, and if we’re being honest, that’s scary as fuck. You tilt my whole world off its axis and I feel like I’m spinning my wheels trying to keep up when you start pushing me away.”
“I don’t—”
I hold up my hand. “Yes, you do. Have you done anything other than let me fuck you since we went out to dinner that one night?” She doesn’t respond, but she doesn’t need to because we both know the answer.
When she opens her mouth to speak again, I place my finger over her lips. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, I continue. “You have to know how I feel about you by now. You know this is more than just sex, but for whatever reason, you’re still playing games and hiding from me.” I shake my head slowly, the burden of what I’m about to say weighing on me. “I can’t keep doing this with you. As much as I want this—want you—if you won’t let me in, there’s no point. I want to call you mine. In a room full of people, I want them all to know you belong to me. This halfway bullshit isn’t something I can do anymore. So, if this is all you can give me, I’m going to have to walk away.”
Her face is blank of emotion and I’ve never felt sicker in my life. Time ticks by excruciatingly slow as I wait for her to say something—anything.
“I’m scared,” she whispers. “You could destroy me.”
“Or I could love you,” I reply softly. I lay everything out in front of her. I’m bare and hers for the taking. We’re at an impasse and so much hinges on how she responds right now.
There’s a war swirling inside of her. I see it clear as day as she stares up at me. My grip on her hands remains firm, as does my eye contact. It’s like if I can maintain these points of contact, she won’t slip away from me.
“Okay,” she replies.
“Okay?” I try to hide my apprehension, but nothing with Paige has been simple, and she’s agreed to this way too easily.
She nods. “Okay, I’ll try.”
At first, I wonder if I heard her correctly. My eyebrows shoot up and my heart gallops out of my chest. “You will?”
“Yeah.”
I can’t resist a second longer and meld my lips to hers. Two years of pent-up frustration and longing is released in a kiss I feel all the way to my damn soul.
Finally, she’s mine.
As happy as this makes me, I have a feeling keeping her is going to be harder than getting her in the first place.