14 Years earlier

“Lila, you have a parent in the army. Can you add to this discussion on raising children?” Dr. Hanson, her professor, asked the question of her in the small seminar, The Psychology of Military Families, which was part of her counseling degree at Georgetown.

“Sure.” She smiled at the members of the class who sat in a circle. “I’m not exactly a military brat. I grew up in one place, with my grandparents. My mother was and still is in the army, and came home frequently, though she upset the balance of our lives when she was there.”

“Why?” one of the women asked.

“Because I got along well with my grandparents. But my mother was stern and changed the dynamics of all our interactions.”

More students asked questions about her childhood.

“Was her leaving you like that hard?”

“I had other people in my life. My future husband grew up in the same town, and he had lovely parents and siblings who brought me into the fold. But yeah, it was hard.”

“So you married into a happy family?”

“Yes.”

After another twenty minutes more of spirited discussion, the teacher stepped in. “I think that’s it for today. Thank you to Lila for her insights and to the rest of you for your participation. Lila, could you stay after class?”

When they were alone, he focused intently on her. “Thank you for sharing your past. The discussion was better for it.”

“I’m glad I could help.”

They talked about the highlights of the class. At one point, he hitched a hip on one of the desks. “Mind if I ask you a personal question?”

“No, of course not.”

“Are you still married?”

Lila looked at the man. John Hanson had told them he was forty, unmarried and working on a second PhD. Today, he wore a classic navy blue blazer and a light-blue shirt with khaki slacks. He was handsome, sexy. And for the first time in her life, Lila wondered what it would be like to be with another man. She gave the fleeting thought some consideration.

“Lila?”

“Oh, sorry. Yes, I’m still married. My husband is doing his residency at MedStar Hospital.”

“Ah. Well, then everything worked out.”

Not exactly. “Yes, of course.”

“I have to admit I’m disappointed.”

She gave a nervous laugh. “Oh! I’m flattered.”

On her way home, she was ashamed of the flare of attraction she felt for another man. She loved Declan. Yes, he’d let her down by not waiting to do his residency. But she survived, she bounced back, and was happy with her decision to pursue her PhD in Psychology.

She put the matter out of her mind when she arrived at the apartment where they’d lived since Maggie was born. It was in the same building as their first one, but bigger. Inside, she found Mrs. Giambrone sitting on the couch with four-year-old Maggie next to her. They were reading a book. She waited by the doorway for a moment.

“And then Nona said, “Capisce?” The nanny kissed Maggie’s head. “Which means do you understand?”

“I remember.”

Lila came further into the room. “Hello, ladies.”

Mrs. G looked up. “Lila, I didn’t hear you come in.”

Maggie stayed where she was. Only recently had she stopped running to Lila whenever she returned from an outing. So Lila put aside her hurt feelings, crossed to the couch and knelt down. “Can I have a hug, Maggie?”

Maggie slid off the couch. Lila hugged her until Maggie hugged back. When she drew away, her daughter said, “Mrs. G taught me more Italian.”

“I heard.”

“Can we read some more?”

“Mrs. G has to leave now.”

“Okay.” Maggie was docile. Lila wondered again how to bring her daughter out of her shell.

After Mrs. Giambrone left, Lila swung Maggie up and carried her into the master bedroom to change out of her school clothes. Mags sat primly on the edge of her bed, hands folded, watching Lila put on jeans and a shirt. “Would you like to help me cook Daddy a special dinner?”

Maggie’s eyes lit. “Daddy’s coming home?”

“Uh-huh. Unless there’s an emergency at the hospital.”

She ruffled her daughter’s hair. “You can pick what to have to eat.”

“Spaghetti and meatballs.”

Lila extended her hand. “You’re on, baby.”

There was no emergency and Dec got home at six p.m. He played with Maggie while Lila finished cooking dinner then they ate. Dec got their daughter to talk more than Lila was able to do. After they finished, he and Maggie cleaned up while Lila sat with a glass of wine. Dec had set Maggie up on a chair so she could dry the dishes. He showed her how to be careful of her balance and how to handle the plates and cups. Four was early for that task, and a host of other behaviors Maggie manifested.

An hour later, Maggie went down for the night.

Declan came back out into the kitchen and found Lila looking through her notes from school. “Good day?” he asked, sitting down with his own wine.

“Yes. My professor asked me to talk to the seminar students about my childhood.”

Reaching across the table, he linked their fingers. The contact was soothing, familiar. “Was it hard to talk about?”

“No. We went on to have a discussion about the psychology of a military family. It was interesting.” Thinking of her reaction to her professor, Lila rose and sat on Dec’s lap.

His brows rose. “This is nice.”

She nuzzled into him. He smelled like soap and the male scent that was uniquely his. “Yeah, it is. I wish we had more time for this .”

He kissed her head and his hand sneaked to her breast. He cradled her gently. “We have time now.”

“Yes, we do.”

They stood and he scooped her up. Quickly, he made his way to their bedroom, and set her on the bed. He stretched her out on the mattress and climbed on top of her. His mouth closed over hers in a full, open kiss. His tongue delved inside her and explored her thoroughly. They drew back, both breathless. “Why are you wearing so many clothes?” he asked, reaching for the hem of her shirt.

“You wouldn’t let me take them off.”

He went for her bra. She spilled into his hands. “There, that’s better.”

Moaning at his skilled touch, she reveled in the sensations. Too soon, that and he were gone.

She’d never seen him divest of his jeans and shirt so fast. He grabbed a condom, sheathed himself, and joined her back on the bed.

Soon, Lila forgot about everything that happened that day and lost herself in her husband.

13 Years Earlier

Declan waited in the Residency Director’s office, wondering what Ben Jacobs wanted to talk to him about. He was nearing the end of his residency and had loved every minute of it despite the exhaustion which was his constant companion. On top of that, he had family responsibilities. Without complaint, Lila had picked up a lot of the slack when he couldn’t contribute. And this residency had come at great cost to her. She’d had to delay her service and there were still times when he could tell she hadn’t gotten over what he pressured her into doing three years ago.

Ben entered the room wearing his scrubs from surgery. “Hello, Declan. Thanks for coming in.”

“Of course.”

The man took a chair behind the desk and picked up Declan’s folder. “You’ve had an excellent residency. You did some remarkable work in the trauma, helped pioneer the reform of many of our procedures which saved us time and money.”

“I always liked logistics.”

“Even more so, you saved a lot of lives with your quick thinking and nimble decisions.”

“Thank you. I valued the opportunity.”

“When you were called up, too?”

His medical unit had been activated three times, and even that Lila hadn’t complained about.

“Yes, sir. Serving in the Middle East enhanced my skills. I’m glad I could help out.”

“I understand.” He’d served, too. “So, you’re here for two reasons. One, you’re getting the top resident award for exemplary work. It comes with a ten thousand-dollar prize.”

“I am?” Was this cool! “And wow on the money.” Which had been sparse for a while, but residency had paid better. “I’m honored.”

“Along with that, you’ve snagged a spot at MedStar for your fellowship in Trauma Medicine.” The hospital was one of its kind in dealing with emergency situations.

His heart sank. “I haven’t applied for fellowships.”

“Why?”

“My wife wants to join the National Guard. She delayed her chance three years ago so I could complete the residency program, but I’ve promised to take the next six months off to care for our daughter.”

Ben frowned. “Can’t a nanny do that? Or a relative?”

“My wife and I agreed that a child needs a parent at home.”

“I see. Not sure we can save the spot, Dec. No matter how much we want you.”

He longed to be able to take the offer. Hurt inside that he couldn’t. But there was no way he would let Lila down again. “That’s something I have to accept. I need to keep my commitment to my family no matter what the cost.”

When Declan left the hospital for the day, he stopped and bought flowers for Lila. His mind whirled with what had happened. And how he’d rejected the once-in-a-lifetime offer.

Grow up , he told himself. You had three years here.

 She was in the bedroom, reading, when he arrived home. “Hi.”

“Hey, baby.” He crossed to her and produced the flowers from behind his back. “These are for you.”

“Daisies? My favorite.” She inhaled their sweet scent. “How come?”

That pricked his conscience. Apparently he didn’t do this enough. He sat down on the side of the mattress. “I want you to know how much I appreciate all you’ve done for me during this residency.”

Generously, she kissed him and said, somewhat tentatively, “You’re going to return the favor now, right?”

“Yes. I won’t let you down again. As a matter of fact, I told the Residency Director my plans today.”

“What did he say?”

“He informed me I’m getting the Top Resident Award.” He grinned. “It comes with ten thousand dollars.”

“Oh, boy, we can pay off some of our loans.”

“I was also offered a fellowship at MedStar.”

Her face drained of color.

“No, don’t worry. I said no.”

She stared at him with troubled eyes. “Oh, honey, this is so hard. I want to take my turn, but I feel bad you’re not getting what you want.”

“I will get it. Just not now.”

She looped her arms around his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Tugging him to her, she whispered, “Maggie’s with Mrs. Giambrone. Her grandkids are in town and she wanted Mags to stay for dinner.”

“Ah, I knew I liked that woman for good reason.” With that, he slid his wife down onto the bed. Later, when he was inside her, he reiterated his declaration of love and gratefulness with his body.

She did the same.

They came together in a cataclysm of pleasure...and the fragile trust that was between them was fortified.