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“Mom, why are you cooking at our house?” Meli asked the question from where she sat on the floor in the corner they set up for the dogs. Both girls were playing with their puppies, Durango and Dylan.

“Because your father had to stay an extra hour tonight at work. Besides we wanted to talk about Dad going away tomorrow, so I came out to be with you guys.”

“He said it’s not dangerous.” This from Morgan.

When they were little, the kids got cranky and out of sorts when he was called up or when she was in the National Guard and had to go away for training. Now that they were older, they were even more attuned to these situations, and they worried, though she’d ended her service last year.

“It’s not as dangerous as a war zone.” Her voice was calm. “This is a humanitarian mission.”

But the place he was going wasn’t really safe. She’d looked up the flooding in Peru and saw medical personnel rappelling down cliffs to save people. No need to tell the girls, though.

She put the finishing touches on the shrimp cheese—Maggie’s favorite—and thought again about her troubled child. Now that Dec would be gone for a while, it was her responsibility to get her oldest daughter the help she needed.

Maggie arrived at six, from a ride given to her by Nate. She did need a car. When she saw Lila in the kitchen, her face lit up for a few seconds. Then the shroud came down. “What are you doing here?”

“Hello to you too.”

“Sorry.” She came in closer. Her face was ragged as if she hadn’t slept. “Hi, Mom.” A small smile.

Lila hugged her. After a second, she returned it.

“Dad’s got to work a bit extra so I said I’d make dinner.”

She took the top off the pan. “Your favorite. Want to sit and talk to me while I finish up with the salad?”

“Um, no. I have some homework for tomorrow. I thought I’d finish it here.”

Disappointment was sharp for a few seconds. “Go ahead, honey.”

“I’ll make the salad, Mommy.”

She turned to Morgan. “That would be great. I’ll sit and keep you company. I want to know more about your school. Do you like Junior High?”

From the fridge, Morgan got out the lettuce, tomatoes, onion and crumbly cheese. “Should I put crumbly cheese on this when there’s cheese in the shrimp?”

“What do you think, kiddo?”

“Nah, I shouldn’t.” She put it back.

“School?”

“It’s okay. There’s a lot of smart kids there, but they seem more grown up than me.”

“Maybe because they’ve had more experiences than you’d get in Lakeville.”

“Yeah, I guess. I met a girl named Kelly. She was nice to me.” Morgan assembled the greens in a big bowl, sliced the tomato then wrinkled her nose. “Want to do the onion? It stinks.”

“Sure.”

“We put it on the side, right? You and Mel don’t like it.”

“I’m gonna try it,” Meli said. “As a new experience.”

She grinned at her daughter. “Atta girl. Then I will, too.”

Dinner was ready when Declan came through the garage door. “Hi, everybody.” He sniffed. “What smells so good?”

Morgan and Meli were now doing a jigsaw puzzle on a small table, in another corner of the kitchen. “Shrimp cheese.”

“I made the salad, Daddy.” Morgan seemed proud of her achievement. Lila made a mental note of introducing her to more things, pushing both girls to stretch.

“Great, honey.” He faced Lila. “Hey, thanks for coming. And cooking. I thought we’d have to order out.”

“Nope. Get everything tied up?”

“Uh-huh.”

He was dressed in his own clothes and his hair was damp, making it appear darker. Even from here, she swore she could smell his after-a-shower scent. “You got cleaned up at work?”

“I needed to.”

He went to the corner and kissed the girls’ heads. “Maggie here?”

“Upstairs doing homework.”

“Speaking of which...” Dec peered down at the twins. “Do you two have any?”

“Mine’s almost done.” This from Meli.

“Mine, too.”

“Why don’t you finish and Mom and I will have a drink. Dinner will stay warm for us.”

“Mommy’s already got wine,” Meli told him.

“Pour me a glass,” he said to Lila. “Now, scoot, girls.”

When they left, Declan took a seat at the kitchen table. Lila handed him a Chardonnay and sat, too. “I wanted some time to make sure we had our ducks in a row, so to speak.”

“I thought we decided everything already.”

“Mostly. How did Robert take your staying here?”

This is not acceptable to me. I’d rather have the kids at our house. Those assignments can last forever.

I’m going to do what’s best for my children.

And Declan. Always Declan.

“Lila?”

“He’s fine with whatever I want to do. We’ll have him over for dinner and do stuff with him.”

“I hope Maggie will be okay while I’m gone.”

“I’ll work on that, Dec.”

“I know you will. I trust you.”

Dinner was a big hit. Maggie dug into the cheesy dish over rice, and smiled, which was worth a lot these days. The girls and Meli ate their share and enjoyed the salad.

“Is there dessert?” Meli asked when everyone finished the meal.

Lila winked at Declan. “Oh, I forgot that.”

Three faces fell.

“Nah, I’m kidding. I got yours and Meli’s favorite.”

Morgan’s face lit up. “Ice-cream cake?”

“Yep, I bought it on the way over.”

They all indulged in the layers of crust, vanilla and chocolate custard ice cream and whipped frosting.

When dishes were cleared and in the washer, they sat at the table. Declan started the conversation. “We need to talk about the arrangements for when I’m gone.”

Morgan frowned. “Won’t we be with Grandma and Grandpa like always?”

“It wasn’t always that way. Mom came up a lot to be with you guys when I had a mission.”

“And I’m going to take care of you this time.”

Meli and Morgan frowned.

Lila’s heart bumped in her chest. “Don’t want me here with you, girls?”

“I want you to.” Morgan’s frown deepened. “Not Robert.”

“Me, neither.”

“I’m abstaining,” Maggie said holding up her hands. “It won’t affect me.”

“Of course it will, honey. I’m hoping you’ll come out and spend time with us.”

“Maggie won’t want to stay at Robert’s either.” Meli was pouting now.

“It’s my house, too. And I like having you there. But to the issue, I need to know if you like Robert?”

Meli: “He’s okay.”

Morgan: “He’s nice to us.”

Maggie: “I don’t have an opinion.”

“But?”

“He doesn’t like the puppies.” This from Meli.

That was true. “Robert never had a dog, that’s why. Besides, I think he might be allergic.”

“How many times would we go there?” Morgan asked.

“I guess that depends on how long Dad’s gone.”

Morgan got up and circled to her father, gave him a hug. “We don’t like it when you’re gone, Daddy.”

“I know, baby. But we have to help others in life. It’s important.”

“At least you’re not going into battle.” This from Maggie which surprised Declan.

“I know it’s hard for you guys when I go to the Middle East.”

Maggie gave him a Duh! look. “Of course it is.”

“We need to talk about that, Mags.”

She shrugged. Then turned to her mother, and lifted her chin. “I probably wouldn’t go to Robert’s.”

“All right,” Lila said. “I’ll stay here the whole time.”

“Yay, Mommy.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Why don’t you take the dogs into the backyard and let them run around? We’d like to talk to Maggie.”

Their eldest glanced at her watch. “Can’t. Nate’s picking me up. I have to get back.”

“Honey, there are things to be said.”

“Sorry. I gotta go.”

When she headed out of the kitchen, Lila sighed.

He shook his head. “I think you have your work cut out for you with her.”

“I guess I do.”

“Thanks for doing this.”

“I want to be with them.”

“I know, but for giving in on staying here.”

“That’s nothing. We’ll figure something out eventually about Robert and the dogs.”

“Still, it’s a lot to ask you to leave your home.”

Lately, her place hadn’t felt much like home but she didn’t tell Declan that.

“You’ll have to stay in my room if Maggie’s here.”

“And sleep in your bed.”

The image her statement created made the air in the room crackle. With old memories, maybe? Neither of them acknowledged the shift. Too much was going on around here to gum up the works now.

For a long time, she said nothing, then she reached out to take his hand. “We all love you and need you to come back.”

His face turned very sad. She knew why. That was what she’d said to him, and he’d said to her, every time they were called up in the past.

Dec stepped off the aircraft into humidity so high he could practically feel his pores empty. For three months, Peru had suffered inexorable rains which tore apart the landscape and already took hundreds of lives. He was glad he’d arrived with pallets of medicine and supplies including wound-care items and antibiotics for the healthcare facilities here.

“Captain Marino?” the soldier said. “Glad to have you.”

Dec held out his hand and they shook. He checked the man’s name tag. “Conklin. Glad to be here.”

“Would you like to go to your quarters or to the makeshift hospital in this area?”

“I’m here to work. I slept on the plane.”

“Yes, sir.”

It wasn’t the most harrowing drive that Declan had ever taken. Roads in war zones were treacherous. But, here, the ruts were deeper than his hand, and mud spattered the windshield, making it hard to see. At one point, they came upon an area off to the right that had been washed out. A white stucco building perched on the edge of the cliff that the water had eroded, as if it was in a freeze frame on TV. “What was that?” he asked.

“A hospital.”

“Were people killed?”

“One.”

“Who?”

“A doctor, sir.”

Most people didn’t think about humanitarian aid workers getting killed, but they did. He thought of Lila and the girls, and all he could lose. All they could lose.

The ride was long and winding; the shorter trek to where he needed to go had been eaten up by the rains.

Another flooded area came into view, again off to the side. He yelled, “Stop!” When the Jeep halted, Dec jumped out. In the thick, muddy water were three men, one holding onto a woman, all with a hand on a twelve-foot rope that was anchored on the cliff. They seemed to be losing the battle against going under. Dec assessed the situation and cupped his hands to yell, “We’re coming to help.”

“Get me a rope, Conklin.”

When the soldier came back with a line, Dec tied it around his waist then sat on the edge of the road and literally slid on his butt into water so black night-like water. The waves sloshed up to his waist and spattered up to his mouth as he dragged himself to the four people still clinging to their lifeline.

Welcome to active duty, Declan.

Maggie made arrangements to meet her mother on the National Mall after the twins went to school, and before she went to work. It was already hot on this mid-September morning, but efficiency was important to Ruth Carrier, so she wanted to get in some of her daily exercise when she talked to her daughter.

Grassy areas, wide pedestrian-friendly and tree-lined boulevards dotted by monuments spread before her. Because of the early hour, the grounds were fairly empty as she walked to the designated spot in the two-mile-long area.

Ruth Carrier waited by a bench not far from the Vietnam Veteran’s Memorial, wearing her summer uniform of light khaki and sensible shoes. After greetings, she asked, “Is this an opportunity to be with your mother, or do you have something to tell me?”

“Something to tell you. Before you hear the news at work. Declan’s been called up.”

“Ah. Where?”

“The mudslides in Peru. Another doctor was already there, but he got sick. They asked Dec to fill in.”

“How long will he be gone?”

“I never know, Mom.”

“You mean you never knew.”

“What? Oh, yeah.”

“Are the Marinos taking turns staying at the house with the twins?”

“No. I’m caring for my daughters.”

Ruth Carrier stopped in her tracks, not an easy thing to cause. “Do you want to do that?”

“Of course.”

“You’ll have to drive out every day for school, then pick them up and bring back to D.C. The Marinos are all in Maryland. Can’t they help?”

“I didn’t want them to. And I’ll only be driving out and back to D.C. once. I’m staying at their house.”

Ruth started walking again. Lila recognized her concerned expression. Her silence indicated she was thinking about what to say next. Finally, she spoke. “Well, you wanted more time with them. Now you’ll get it.”

“I will. Maybe you could come out and visit us. The girls don’t see much of you.”

“I might do that. Is Robert staying there, too?”

“No. We think he’s allergic to the dogs and he wouldn’t be comfortable in Declan’s home anyway.”

“Still, you’re staying in Declan’s home?”

“I’ve been there a lot. Besides, Mom, this isn’t about my comfort. It’s for the welfare of the girls.”

They passed a bronze statue of a uniformed soldier on a horse. Her mother stopped in front of the massive stone. “Declan’s right to be serving his country.”

“I know you never approved of him.”

“Not when you were younger. I wanted different things for you. But he was a good husband until he wouldn’t move here with you.”

“Boy, he’d like hearing that come from your mouth.”

A rare chuckle from her mother. Then, “Delilah, are you happy since your divorce?”

Uh-oh. She and her mother didn’t talk about these kinds of things. But hell, she’d give it a try. “Not completely, no,” she said honestly.

“I’m getting messages from you that you’d like to reunite your family.”

To lie, or not to lie? “Sometimes I would.”

More walking. More thoughtful silence. Finally, Ruth spoke. “If you do get back with him, I’d support you.”

Shocked, Lila linked arms with her mother. “Thanks, Mom. That means a lot to me.”

When Ruth patted her arm, kept her close, and Lila leaned into her. She hadn’t expected this kind of surprise and wondered what was going on with Ruth Carrier.

The conversation had gone like this:

I want you to come, Mommy.

Oh, Meli, I don’t think I should.

Please!

Morgan seconded the notion, and even Maggie said she’d go if her mother did.

So Lila agreed to attend a family dinner with the Marinos the Sunday after Declan had left. It didn’t take a psychologist to understand the kids were clinging to her since their father wasn’t here. They’d done the same thing in the past when he’d gone on missions. Also, before she could turn the TV off, they’d seen reports that were harrowing—the news from Peru hadn’t been good.

But as she drove the four of them to Nick’s, she could feel her shoulders tense, her gut clench. Her only real ally would be Whitney. The rest of them, though they’d be polite, had to resent her for leaving Declan to take a job in D.C. They didn’t know the whole story.

“Isn’t their house beautiful, Mommy?” Meli said when they pulled up and parked on the street.

“It’s lovely.” With sprawling wings, a stone front, and manicured lawns, the spot was beautiful.

“Everybody’s here,” Morgan said. “I know the cars.”

As soon as Lila turned off the Honda and unlocked the doors, the kids climbed out. The scent of newly mowed grass, that Lila had loved when she lived in upstate New York, filled her head, making her nostalgic.

“Come on, Meli,” her sister said. “Let’s go see the twins.”

“I want to hold Dee first.”

“I get Evvie.”

“I’ll help Mom get the stuff,” Maggie put in, rolling her eyes.

“No, honey. You go, too. I know you’re anxious to see them. I can manage the cooler on my own.”

Maggie raced to her sisters. As soon as she left, Lila regretted what she’d said. Now she’d have to enter the lion’s den on her own.

Stop. They’ll be perfectly kind.

They were nice people, and she missed them terribly. Lila wasn’t sure how they’d react to seeing her, it was this sense of loss she was dreading when she spent time with them. But she unloaded the trunk, where she’d stored the cooler full of deviled eggs, macaroni salad and a sweet chocolate cake—which were, admittedly, the Marino favorites when she’d been part of this happy clan.

Lila reached the door and saw the kids had closed it. Having no choice, she rang the bell and stood on the porch like an interloper. Finally, it swung open. Connor stood there, and though he’d always been a happy guy, inner joy seemed to emanate from him now.

“Lila, hey.” Reaching out, he took the cooler from her, led her inside and set the container down. “Can I give you a hug?”

“Please do. I’m...wary of this. The kids insisted I come.”

He hugged her like he used to, big, long and hearty. “Don’t feel that way. We invited you these last few years when Dec was gone on a mission and you were in town.”

“I know, but—”

“I can’t wait for you to meet Calla,” he went on, ignoring her protest. “We’re having a boy.”

“Holy shit, Con, you’ll eventually be the father of the king.”

“I know. Sometimes my life doesn’t feel real, that I got everything I wanted.”

At one time, Lila had felt that way, too.

“Enjoy it while you can.”

He gave her a second hug and picked up the cooler again. “Let’s go.”

The day was warm, so people were set up on the expansive deck. Lila’s girls each held a baby, and the sight made her even more sentimental. When she saw Mama and Pa, her heart turned over in her chest. They’d been surrogate parents to her since she was seventeen.

Taking in a deep breath, she went through the triple glass doors. Conversation stopped. Everyone looked at her. Immediately, Pa rose and crossed the deck. He hugged her then held her hand as he addressed the others. “Let’s not make this awkward, you hear? Lila is staying with the girls as a favor to Dec. But she’s always been welcome at family gatherings, and I want all of you...” his gaze landed on Nick “...to welcome her.”

Mama approached her first. “We’ve missed you, a stor .” Her mother-in-law had always called her Dear One. “I hope this isn’t the last time we see you at one of these. We love you.”

Lila battled back tears. Still a soldier at heart, she rarely cried, but since she left the Guard, and had been seeing Declan down here, she’d felt on the emotional verge more often.

A beautiful woman stood and walked over to her. With raven-black hair and dark eyes, her features were more beautiful than Helen of Troy’s. “Lila, hello. I’m Calla.”

“Connor’s wife. Hello, Calla.” She went to shake hands but Calla leaned forward and gave her a gentle hug, then kisses on each cheek.

Lila drew back. “I adore Connor.”

“As do I.” She glanced around. “I know your background here, and all of us women—Macy, Whitney, Isabelle and myself have banded together to be your support system. No matter what happened between you and Declan. Today, and always, we’re here for you in case you need us.”

“Wow, I never expected that.”

Gabe came up behind Calla. “Pa didn’t have to say what he did, Lila.” He kissed her on the cheek. “I’m glad to see you.”

“That just leaves Nick, I guess.”

“He’s a tough nut to crack, but give him some space.” Gabe always so sweet. And so...readable. Declan, on the other hand, used to be an open book to her, but no longer.

“I appreciate that, Gabe.”

“So, do you want to hear about my tumultuous relationship with Connor?” Calla asked. “It may put you at ease.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“It’s quite interesting, full of drama.”

Gabe said dryly, “Welcome to the Marino club, Calla.”

From a smaller space off to the right of the main deck, Maggie watched her mother be enveloped in the loving embrace of the Marinos and wondered why she herself was so different. She didn’t feel the same about emotional displays as they did. Something was definitely wrong with her, but she’d always known that.

“Hey, kiddo.” Whitney had joined her. She wore jeans and a pretty peach, off-the-shoulder blouse. Her face glowed from some sun she must have gotten.

Out came the canned smile. “Hi, Aunt Whitney.”

Whitney handed her a soda, the kind she liked. “Here, I’m having one too.”

“Thanks.”

Leaning against the railing, the slight breeze ruffling her hair, Whitney asked, “So, how’s it hangin’?” She mimicked Simon’s and the girls’ favorite phrase.

“I’m okay.”

“Is it all right with you that your mom is here?”

“Yeah. I said I’d come if she did.”

Whitney arched a brow. “Not otherwise?”

“No, I would’ve anyway. But Morgy and Meli wanted her here. For some reason, my mother wants to be with me.”

“From what I can tell, she’s always wanted that.”

Her heartbeat speeded up. “What do you mean?”

“I saw her these last three years. She talked about how much she missed you.”

“She took that job here.” Maggie cursed the sadness in her voice.

“And you were hurt?”

Duh! “No, I—”

“Don’t try to fool me, honey.”

Maggie just stared at her.

“Listen, I’ll tell you a secret about myself if you answer a question.”

“Is it why you’re drinking pop and not beer?”

“Maybe. But you first.”

“Yeah, I was hurt.”

“I think that move was very complicated.”

Maggie looked out over the lush property, wishing she could admire the flowers and trees, still full and green. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Of course you should. Keeping your feelings inside is like living as a pressure cooker. It’s gonna blow, honey.”

She didn’t respond, then finally said, “Your turn.”

“I’m pregnant. Only Max knows. I’m waiting until the twelve weeks is up before I say anything. So keep it to yourself.”

The hug she gave her aunt was warm and sincere. “I’m so glad. I know you had a miscarriage.”

“Yeah, it was tough. Even if I didn’t want a baby at first.”

“You didn’t want a baby?”

“I considered an abortion. I was confused. And scared. And I’d made plans for my life.”

“I’m sorry, then.”

“I still see a counselor to deal with my issues.”

For some reason, she blurted out, “Mom and Dad want me to see someone.”

“I think it’s a great idea. I got Connor to go to therapy, too, after he had some bad experiences in Syria.”

“Why? He’s a psychiatrist.”

Whitney socked her arm. “It’s sane people who get help, honey. The crazy ones don’t. Everybody could use a little assistance now and them.”

Maggie’s sigh was weary. She’d gone around and around on this in her mind since her father suggested it. “Seeing a counselor won’t change anything.”

“Of course it will. Talking everything out, getting advice on how to deal with my issues, changed everything for me and Max.”

Maggie was sad! For Christ’s sake, she cut herself to get rid of the pain. Right now, she wanted to tell Whitney that, but couldn’t. Instead, she turned into her aunt and put her head on her shoulder. She sighed into an embrace she didn’t let happen very often. “I feel bad most of the time.”

Cupping her neck gently, Whitney kissed her hair. “Then you have to talk to someone. I promise, Mags, you’ll feel better.”

“Maybe. I’ll think about it.”

“Okay, end of discussion. Let’s go out to the swing sets and jungle gym and give the kiddies a run for their money.”

“You have to be careful.”

“I will, I promise.”

Dec was anxious to call home tonight. There were delays in getting to Peru, so it took longer than expected to arrive. He’d talked to the girls and Lila, but hurriedly amidst airplane delays and traffic difficulties and while getting set up here. Then there was the incident in the water. Now that he’d settled in, he was glad for the time to see how his family was dealing with him being away.

And you want to talk to Lila. Just admit it.

After what he’d been through in the last few days, he had no reserve to fight his feelings.

All right. I want to talk to her.

The phone connected on the other end. “Hello.”

“Hey, honey. It’s Daddy.”

“Hi, Daddy!” Morgan voice was excited. Happy. “We went over to Uncle Nick’s today and had family dinner with them.”

“I’m so glad. How is everybody?”

“Good.”

“What did Mommy do?”

“She came with us. Maggie said she’d go if Mom did.”

“Wow.”

“Are you okay?”

“I am. I promise. I’m safe.”

Now he was. He’d almost drowned when he jumped into the river to help the Peruvian people trapped in the water. Turned out the woman was pregnant, though, and she and the baby survived just fine.

“Meli’s here. She wants to say hi.”

A fumbling in the background. “Hey, Daddy.” She went on to talk about Dylan and Durango.

Then Maggie took the phone. “Are you okay, Dad? I saw some stuff online about Peru.”

“I’m taking every precaution.” It was harder to deflect Mags. “How are you?”

“I’m staying overnight here. Mom wanted me to.”

“Glad to hear that.”

“I’m worried about you, Dad.”

Hmm, she wouldn’t discuss this before. “Try not to think about it now. We’ll talk about my missions when I get home. And I’ll stay in touch, I promise.”

“Mom wants to talk to you.”

Another shuffling of the phone, then “Hi, Dec. How are things going?”

He didn’t have to dissemble with her. “Touch and go with the rains. Tomorrow I’m giving vaccinations.”

“That sounds safer.”

Not with the practically impassable roads I go on . “So, you went to the family dinner today?”

“Yeah. Everybody was kind to me. Even Nick.”

“I had a talk with him before I left.”

“He always did need an extra push.”

They chatted about the family, about her work and more about his.

“Declan, there’s something I want to ask you. God knows this isn’t what you’re thinking about down there, but I’d like to get Maggie that car we discussed. She says she has the down payment for it, and you and I could split the monthly bills.”

“We can decide the terms later. What made you ask this now?”

“Because she’s sad. She could use a pick-me-up. And I think we might bond over this.”

“You said no bribes.”

“I know. She won’t see it as one. I promise.”

“You’d have to get a new car. I don’t want my daughter driving a clunker.”

“I can manage that. Is it okay with you if we buy it before you come back?”

“Yes, of course. It will be good for the both of you. Geez, I miss everybody.”

“I’m sure you do.”

Thinking about where he was, the danger he was in, and how his feelings were changing, he said, “I miss you too, Lila.” His voice pitched lower of its own accord. “More than I should.”

An intake of breath. Then a long hesitation that just about killed him. Finally, she whispered, “I miss you more than I should too, Dec.”

And God help them both. They’d destroyed each other the first time around and the path back up was excruciating.