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21 Years Earlier

Lila Carrier sat at the kitchen table of the Marino household, watching the show. Nick was home from college and Gabe had come back from his job in the Secret Service. Connor and Whitney were in ninth grade, at the school where she and Declan were seniors.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Nick said to Gabe. “The Bills are gonna win the whole shebang this year.” They loved talking football, especially the nearby Buffalo Bills, and got more and more macho as the conversation went on. She enjoyed seeing Declan in the mix.

“No way. They’re punks.” Gabe lazed back in his chair, happy with his life now. Lila wondered if she’d ever feel that way.

Declan sat forward in the chair, recounting his favorite players and their rushing records. Now, his blue eyes blazed with energy and his longish dark-blond hair fell into his eyes.

“Who cares about football?” Whitney stated. “Gabe, tell us about your job.”

“Not much I can say, doll.” He winked at her. “If I do, I might have to kill you.”

“Oh, man, I wanna be just like you when I get out of college.”

“Then major in something important.”

“Like what?”

As they batted ideas around, Dec leaned over and whispered to her, “You must be bored. Want to get out of here?” He was always so sweet, considerate.

“No way,” she said honestly. “I love your family.”

They always treated her and Declan with respect, even though she was only seventeen because she’d skipped a grade and he was eighteen. They also talked to Whitney and Connor as if they were adults.

As a matter of fact, she liked everything about the Marinos—their warmth, their genuine caring for each other, the unbreakable bond among all of them. And they all held a firm belief in serving their country. Though, as the daughter of a servicewoman, she shared the latter, Lila was an only child and none of this affection was present in her small family. To top it off, her unmarried mother was stationed in Washington at the Pentagon, and Lila lived with her kind but old grandparents. When Ruth Carrier came home or Lila went to D.C. to visit, her whole life was upended.

Mostly, though, Lila was lonely as hell. Thank God she’d met Declan last year. He was enough for her, of course, and his family was a bonus.

On Senior Prom night, Declan dressed in his fancy dark tux with a cummerbund that matched Lila’s lilac-colored gown. His mom had taken him to get her an orchid corsage with dark purple ribbon. He was combing back his somewhat longish hair, which he’d let grow. Lila liked it this way. And he liked Lila. Hell, he loved her. They’d only been dating for nine months, but he already knew she was the one for him. And tonight would get them closer to his goal of marrying her.

A knock on the door. Nick entered carrying a small box. He was visiting home from college and seemed older this time. “Hey, buddy. Pretty snazzy.”

“Yeah, I do look good.”

“And you’re modest.”

Declan nodded to the bag. “What’s that?”

In answer, Nick tossed him the package. Declan read the label and, damn, could feel himself blush.

“You already got some?”

“Yeah. But we haven’t done it before.”

“Prom night is the magic time.” Nick dropped down on the bed. “Anything you wanna discuss?”

“We read up on stuff.”

“Good for you.” He cocked his head. “You’re more grown up than I was at your age. But if you want any pointers, I know some things now, so ask away.”

Declan asked.

Twenty minutes later, he whistled as he climbed the stairs of the Carrier’s simple stone house a mile away. The porch was spotless, as he knew the inside would be, since Captain Carrier was in residence. When she was here, he was always afraid to sit on the sofa. Making out in this house was taboo, but he got to hold Lila in the car and in his parents’ finished basement. He rang the buzzer.

Lila came to the doorway in jeans and a shirt, her beautiful violet eyes puffy from crying. “Oh, no, Lila are you sick?”

She shook her head. Her hair wasn’t done up and hung in damp locks past her shoulders. The auburn color darkened when it was wet.

Her mother appeared behind her. A broad-shouldered woman, she kept her dark hair clipped short, and wore plain black slacks with a white blouse. Her face was always stern. “Come in, young man. I understand you’re a co-conspirator.”

“Excuse me?”

“Come!” Army types were expected to be obeyed. Not that he had anything against the military. His dad had been a pilot in Vietnam. Hell, duty to country ran in the Marino genes. Gabe was a Secret Service agent, and Nick was on track to do the same. Since Declan didn’t want to serve in that way, he’d considered an ROTC scholarship until Cornell had come through for a full ride. He’d probably join up after college. Lila had been thinking about entering the reserves, which would fill her need to be of service to her country and she’d be able to balance a home and family.

She took his hand and, as they followed her mother down the corridor to the spotless kitchen, she whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry. I can handle whatever she dishes out this time.”

When they sat, her mother slid a paper in front of him. He looked down. West Point stationery. “We’re pleased to congratulate you on your acceptance...”

Glancing at Lila, he said, “I thought you hadn’t heard.”

“I’m sorry,” she repeated. “I did, but I hid the letter away.”

Her mother folded her arms across her chest. “Foolish girl to think I wouldn’t find out. The president of the college called me at the Pentagon to ask me why you hadn’t accepted yet.”

“But we both got into Cornell, Mrs...er, Captain Carrier. And got scholarship money.”

“I am aware of that, as of tonight, because she didn’t inform me of those plans either.” She zeroed in on him. “Delilah won’t be going to an Ivy League School. She’ll be attending a military college.”

Lila was a gentle girl, but with an inner core of steel few people ever saw, and could handle a regimented atmosphere of a place like West Point and train for war. But she didn’t want that at this point in her life.

“I want to go to Cornell. I’m going to join the army too after I’m done with school, maybe the reserves. That way I could—”

“I am not a fan of the reserves!” Her mother said the word with distaste. “Especially for my daughter.” An arched brow. “You’re only seventeen.”

“I’ll wait till I’m eighteen then.”

Declan faced Lila. “Why aren’t you dressed for the prom?”

“She says I can’t go.”

“No, you cannot. Head up to your room, now. I want to talk to Mr. Marino. Then I’m leaving for a meeting. We’ll talk more when I get home.”

Lila started to protest. Declan put his hand on her shoulder. “Go ahead, for now.”

When she left, the captain told him he was a bad man to keep Lila from her dream.

She told him he was corrupting Lila.

And she ordered him to leave her daughter alone.

Emboldened, not scared off, he left the house. His parents and brothers had given him a lot of self-confidence, and he wasn’t going to take this shit from Lila’s mother. He drove a few houses down in his car, left it parked by the curb, then circled back and climbed up the trellis, then onto the roof in front of her room, all of which he’d done before. She was lying on the bed, crying. He squeezed through the window. She heard him then and turned over. “Dec, what are you doing?”

 He looked around. Dress, shoes and some jewelry had been set out. He talked as he grabbed all of what she’d need and stuck it in the hanging bag. “We’re going to the prom. Come on, you can get dressed at my house.”

Lila jumped up. Kissed him hard. Then they both scrambled back out the window. She went down first; he tossed the dress bag to her, and descended too.

They headed to the Marino home. Thankfully his parents were out. They wouldn’t stop him, but they’d alert Captain Carrier of Lila’s whereabouts. He led her up the steps to his room, where she dressed while he fetched Whitney. His cousin helped Lila with her hair, then provided a purse, shawl and makeup, none of which she used but had gotten as a gifts from her aunt and uncle. After extracting a vow of silence from Con and Whitney, they made their way downstairs and to the prom.

Where they were crowned king and queen.

Lila was grounded for a month, but the whole thing was worth it.

18 Years Earlier

“You’re what?”

“I’m pregnant.”

Declan stared blankly at the small living space. Their apartment in D.C. was tiny but cozy. “You can’t be. We graduated from Cornell magna cum laude. We moved here to start our military careers, and our life as a married couple.”

“I know, Dec.”

“Aren’t you supposed to have symptoms?”

“I didn’t. But I did the test. Three times.”

“Fuck!”

Their future had looked so sunny. Although their wedding had been small, in the Marino backyard, without her mother in attendance, they were thrilled to be finally married. He’d been accepted at Georgetown School of Medicine but got the entrance deferred six months so he could join the National Guard Medical Corps and do his active duty. Lila’s application to join the Guard hadn’t gone through yet.

He left the old couch his parents had taken from their basement and given to them and paced. She waited for the goodness inside him to outweigh his shock. “We used protection... We’ve got big plans... We aren’t ready for a baby.”

Tears gathered in her eyes, but she quelled them. She had to stay level-headed.

When he stopped pacing, they’d stared at each other for a few moments. At last, he knelt before her. “It’s okay, honey. We’ll deal with this.”

“I didn’t want to be pregnant but I can’t, you know, get rid of it.”

“Of course not. I wouldn’t want you to.”

“We have to readjust our plans.”

“You mean you’ll have to.”

“Yes. I know it’s on me now. You have to go to basic and advanced training before med school.”

“You wanted to go now, too. But you can’t do that while you’re pregnant. Maybe after the baby’s older.”

“I guess the army will have to wait. For me, at least.”

“I hope not too long. I know you want to serve even more than you originally did.”

“I can work until the baby comes. After, too, but not for a while.”

“I’ll get the scholarship to Georgetown, and money from the National Guard, too. I’ll also apply for the stipend.”

“Yeah, it’ll work out.”

That night, they celebrated the change in plans, both young enough to adapt.

Not everyone was going to adapt, though, they found out when they went to visit her mother at her place near the Pentagon. When she opened the door, she was still wearing her uniform. She’d made the rank of Major which the gold oak leaf on her uniform signified.

Before they could give her the news, she let them sit and faced them. “I would like some answers. I checked with the offices. You’re not set for service, Delilah, meager though it is.”

“I’m not joining the reserves now, Mother.”

“Not joining? Nonsense, you told me you were.”

“That’s been deferred.”

“For what?”

“Please try to understand. We didn’t plan this. It was an accident.”

Her dark eyes rounded and for a moment, panic seem to flitter there. “You’re pregnant?”

“Yes, I am. Just like you were.”

“Not until I’d already completed a deployment.” She waved her hand. “None of this is possible now. Surely you know there are ways to deal with an unfortunate event.”

Lila tightened her grip on Declan’s hand and he said, “We can’t do that, Major Carrier. We’re talking about a real child.”

“Not yet, it isn’t.”

“Then why did you have me, Mother?”

“It’s because I had you that I know you shouldn’t do this. I ruined my chances for a real career for years.”

Declan bristled. “Looks to me you like did pretty well.”

“Not well enough. I have such high hopes for you. No, I won’t stand for this.”

They looked at each other, then he said, “You have no choice, Ruth. You’re going to be a grandma even if you’re not ready.”

14 Years Earlier

In disbelief, Lila stared over at Declan. He’d been through a lot in the last four years: basic training, then Officer Candidate Training once he began Georgetown, and finally the grueling Med School experience. And something had been bothering him lately. “What do you mean you’re getting a residency now?”

“I was recommended by the college for a residency at the MedStar Washington Center. It has one of the best trauma hospitals in the world. There’s only one slot open and they want me.”

She didn’t believe this. “Can’t they wait six months? So I can do my reserve training?”

“No. I start next week.”

“Declan, you promised to take a half-year off before residency. So I could join up.”

“I know, but then this fell in my lap.”

Exhausted from being up all night with a sick Maggie—Declan had just returned home after the late shift—she sank onto the rickety chair at the kitchen table and put her face in her hands.

He came to her. Placed his hand on her shoulder. “I know this is a blow.”

“A blow?” She looked up at him. “It’s a tragedy for me.”

“No, no, honey, you can delay your service a bit more.”

“I already did that, Declan. I’m twenty-three. My time is running out.”

“Maggie will be in school soon. By then, I’ll have more breathing room. I can take over her care and we’ll hire a sitter for six months while you go.”

She grasped his hand. “Dec, is this final? Did you accept already?”

With a guilty expression on his face, he sat down and ran his hand through his hair. “Yes.”

“My mother will have a fit. She was so against all this. You and me. The baby. Looks like she was right.”

“Don’t say that. She didn’t want us to have Maggie.”

“I meant right about you. That you’d always put me second.”

“I—”

A loud scream came from the bedroom.

“I’ll go,” he said rising.

She bolted up. “No, I’ll go.” She shook her head. “I really misjudged you.”

Lila walked into Maggie’s room, stunned at what the man she loved since high school had done to her. As she picked up the child and sat down in the rocker, she realized for the first time that she was going to have to take control of her own life with no help from him.

So she would. She’d find ways to make her life work. She’d have to delay the reserves, but she’d do it. The age limit was thirty-one and she’d be in long before then.

Still, Lila sat there, vowing she’d never give her future over to Declan, or any other man, again, no matter how much they loved each other.